InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Goodbye to You ❯ Welcome to My Life ( Chapter 7 )

Author’s notes: Yay! The next chap to ‘Goodbye to You’! Anyways, if you guys were wondering about the last chapter, I re-posted it so you have a better understanding on what had happened and how messed up spacing can be on these kind of sites. Anyways, did I mention the end is coming up soon? There will probably be one more chapter and an epilogue, so stay tuned everybody!!!!

Disclaimer: I do not own the greatness that is Inuyasha, as I do not own Simple Plan’s song ‘Welcome to My Life’. Man, I have used some overplayed songs in this fic! Don’t worry, I only do it for the lyrics, not the rotation! =)

  Goodbye to You Part Seven: Welcome To My Life  

Kagome stared up into the young man’s eyes in shock and fear, but refused to flinch as his grip tightened on her body. No, he had something to say, damn it... and she would listen.

If only to prove him wrong.

“Have you ever felt... ashamed of who you are Kagome?”

Kagome blinked in confusion as she scrunched her nose up in frustration.

Huh?

“W-what do you mean Inuyasha?”

The stutter gently left her lips in nothing more but a whisper, but Kagome could tell...

Inuyasha glared down at Kagome in what could have been described as anger as he suddenly pushed her away from his body. He crossed his arms against his chest as his breaths came out in shallow puffs.

Oh, he was pissed.

Most definitely pissed.

“I meant exactly what I asked. Have you EVER felt ashamed of... no. Not what you are. WHO you are. Have you ever gone through years of indescribable bashing and relentless beatings because of the way you were born?! Cause I have Kagome. I‘ve felt it ALL MY LIFE!” Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong-
And no one understands you.

Kagome shamefully lowered her head as she sniffled. She knew where this was going, and she definitely wasn’t going to like it.

But in a way, who’s to say she didn’t deserve it. He may have hurt her many times before, but she had done something unforgivable.

She had left him...

Alone.

Like he had been before she had come into his life...

Kagome’s eyes widened for a moment as she suddenly began to understand the young man’s rage towards her.

‘I didn’t even let him speak...’

“Kagome!? Are you listening?”

Kagome snapped her head up in a moment as she heard Inuyasha’s yell. She wouldn’t say anything this time...

It was his turn to let go.

It was his turn to just want to runaway and do what he wished.

If he wanted to leave her this time and cause her pain...

She wouldn’t even protest. Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming... “I spent years Kagome, YEARS trying to make it by in this world. Trying to find some way to just be... accepted! I think it went even deeper than that. I think I just wanted to be proud of what I was. To be able to tell people that this is what, no WHO I am and I don’t CARE what you think! But no matter what I did...”

Inuyasha sighed in frustration as he ran a hand through his ebony locks. The roughness of his voice combined with the bitterness that laid deep in his eyes was enough to make Kagome want to start crying, but she would not shed a tear.

It was his story, and she would listen.

“Kagome...”

Kagome cocked her head to the side as he spoke her name so tenderly.

‘The way he said my name... It’s almost like by just saying my name, he thinks everything will become all better. Maybe... no. He wouldn’t think like that... right?’

“You don’t know...” No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right!

“What don’t I know Inuyasha?”

Inuyasha looked Kagome straight into her azure eyes as she serenely stared back. He blinked as the young woman smiled and tentatively took a step forward.

“What do I need to know that I don’t already know? Because... I see you in front of me, and that’s all I really need.” You don't know what it's like

“This is what I mean!” To be like me...

Kagome jumped as Inuyasha’s eyes then narrowed angrily.

Ok...

Maybe that was the wrong thing to say...

“Do you not understand?! I have been hurt, beat, battered, kept in the dark, hell, what hasn’t happened to me?! You can’t just care about me and not know this!”

Any calm left within the young man was gone into the night. His anger radiated in waves, yet Kagome knew he wasn’t angry at her per se...

No, definitely not at her.

His past was bringing him down into that big spiral of hate, and she could do nothing but watch.

‘Oh, boy...’

But not even Kagome was ready for what was going to be said...

“Everything that’s happened to me has left me cold and broken, and every time I’m down, every time I’ve been punched and kicked, EVERY TIME I’VE BEEN PUSHED AROUND, DO YOU THINK SOMEONE WAS THERE TO PICK UP THE PIECES?! I‘VE BEEN PUSHED TO THE EDGE AND BACK AGAIN, YET I‘M STILL HERE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET!?” To be hurt,
To feel lost,
To be left out in the dark! To be kicked when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around! To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you! Inuyasha slowed down his rapid breathing and calmed himself, if only for a moment. All he could do was stare into Kagome’s eyes and speak...

Yet that seemed enough for the moment.

“I don’t think you do...” No you don’t know what it’s like... “So...” Welcome to my life. Kagome bit her lip in pure sorrow, but refused to show the sadness that lay deep within her with tears. She promised herself that she would let him lay it all out there, and she wouldn’t go back on her word. This was his time, and she would let him take control.

“After all that... I just wanted to be somebody else. Anybody else. I just couldn’t stand the fact that when I looked down at my reflection all I could see was something hated. A horrid beast not even enough to be considered a man on either side... demon or human.”

“But Inuyasha-”

“Stop it. I was nothing then. Nothing but a miserable half-breed.” Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

“I lived a daily hell. In many ways, I still do. Why can’t I just forget... Kagome, why won’t they just leave me alone?” Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around?

Kagome smiled pathetically as she once again stepped forward. The smile was so fake, but...

It was all she could give him at this moment.

No matter how stupid that seemed to be, she knew he was bleeding inside.

And only she could heal him at this moment. With their big, fake smiles and stupid lies- While deep inside you’re bleeding.

“I know.”

Two simple words that gave way to open shock. Kagome tried to maintain a neutral countenance as she steadily stared into Inuyasha’s eyes, but she knew inside her heart that this conversation was definitely killing her.

“Before you say anything else, I know I can’t understand your pain, but... I know you’re going through it.” No, you don’t know what it’s like “I can’t tell you this will all get better...” Where nothing feels alright “But I can help you through-”

“NO! You can’t help me Kagome! Cause-” You don’t know what it’s like, To be like me... “You just don’t understand what it’s like...” To be hurt,
To feel lost,
To be left out in the dark!
To be kicked when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around!
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you! Kagome just stared as he said all this. She couldn’t deny him the truth, and he was right. She didn’t know what it was like.

She didn’t... No, you don’t know what it’s like... “Alright then, Inuyasha. Then show me.” Welcome to my life. “Show you? Show you!? Kagome, you haven‘t the slightest idea of what I‘ve gone through to get here. Everyday, no one ever gave me a ‘break‘. All I heard were lies mounted upon lies and I could never, EVER trust anyone!”

Kagome stood stead fast, but inside she was breaking just a little bit more in spirit.

‘I didn’t mean to make him re-live all this pain... but, that’s just what I did, isn’t it? I always thought he would be so much happier without me here to bother him, but it was just the opposite. I’m no better... no better than anyone else that’s hurt him.’

Kagome could only hold in a shuttered sigh as she stared ahead. No one ever lied straight to your face.
No one ever stabbed you in the back.
You might think I'm happy- But I'm not gonna be okay... “Until... until you came along, I didn’t really know what it was like to rely on someone and to have someone rely on you in return. While you lived a fantasy life where everyone gave you all the love you needed, all I held was hurt. You didn’t have to work for the love your family gave you, and I resented you for that at first. I didn’t even want to look at you. Not only were you the reincarnation of a woman who betrayed me, you also held everything in the palm of your hand. But you changed that! You changed me!” Everybody always gave you what you wanted!
Never had to work, It was always there! You don’t know what it’s like-

Inuyasha finally began to relax after a moment and took a step forward. He then pointed a finger at Kagome and narrowed his eyes angrily.

“You made me love you.” What it’s like. Kagome gasped as Inuyasha finally admitted outloud what she had always dreamed of hearing. But she knew this simple declaration would come with a price. The way he stared at her all but screamed sorrow and blame.

“Inuyasha, I-”

“Enough. You made me love you, Kagome. And now, after all this time. After all the battles, the arguments, the abandonment's, before you can truly say and believe you love me, you have to understand my pain.”

‘Is that why he’s saying all this... he just wants me to understand?’

Inuyasha’s eyes held the sorrow of years of sufferance and pain, and Kagome could do nothing but look at him. Really look at him for what he was.

And... To be hurt,
To feel lost,
To be left out in the dark!
To be kicked when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around!
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you! No, you don’t know what it’s like-

She finally understood.

“Inuyasha...” What it’s like...

The young man blinked as he stared into Kagome’s azure eyes with raw emotion. She finally understood.

Finally.

“Inuyasha, I’m sorry.” To be hurt,
To feel lost,
To be left out in the dark!
To be kicked when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around!
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you! No, you don’t know what it’s like... Kagome could never make up for all the years he suffered. Nor could she make up for the year she had been away from him. That was the past now, and trying to fit all her emotions into eloquently spoken words was impossible.

And what’s more is she had no right to have felt so angry at Inuyasha for the simple fact that he hadn’t had wanted to tell her how he had put Kikyou to rest. She probably didn’t even deserve to know on some level. But...

She understood now...

And maybe that made everything ok. Welcome to my life. Kagome walked over to Inuyasha and hugged him as hard as she could as a tear slowly slid down her face.

‘Gods, I’m sorry... I didn’t truly know.’

Inuyasha’s arms then wrapped themselves around her waist as he held her close to his heart with a sigh. Welcome to my life. ‘Why didn’t you tell me...’

“Inuyasha?”

Inuyasha then pulled away from Kagome so he looked down at the pair of cerulean eyes that fascinated him so. He knew he could drown in those eyes...

“Yeah Kagome? Welcome to my life.

“I love you.”