InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Got Any Spare Change? ❯ Public Transportation (part one) ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

The next morning, Naraku recieved his wake up call. "Onigumo, wakie, wakie! Rise and shine princess! Today's your first day of of course you don't want to be late! I'm here to ensure just that, I'm not your boss for nothing you know. So, why don't you get yourself up, dressed, showered, have yourself about five cups of coffee (you're not exactly young anymore and I know how you old people get when you don't have your caffeine) and get on down to the office, okay?"

Naraku rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked at his clock. "Sesshomaru-" "That's Mr. Sesshomaru to you. Or Mr. Taisho, or Sesshomaru-sama or Taisho-sama. Take your pick, I got more." Naraku gave a heavy sigh. "Fine, Mr. Sesshomaru, it's six in the morning. Not to mention, I don't exactly have any transportation."

Sesshomaru gave a chuckle. "I figured you wouldn't with you losing your buisness to me and whatnot, so I sent the company car pooling vehicle." Just then, a loud honk came from outside Naraku's bedroom window. He looked out to see a very ancient 60-ish van cram-packed with people in it. On closer inspection, Naraku saw that Kohanu, Ayamuri, Inuyasha, and Miroku were fighting for space up front where really only two people were supposed to sit. In the back, Sango, Kagome, Akitoki, Houjo, Jiningi, (who was taking up most of the space), Kaede and Kikyou were squished on the two rows of seats. Something tiny was on Inuyasha's shoulder and Naraku squinted his eyes for a better view. Myouga. No way in hell was he about to squeeze his ass in a van ment for nine with eleven people (twelve if you count the flea) already in it. And why the hell was Kaede working for Sesshomaru?

"Sesshomaru-" "Mr. Sesshomaru-" "Sesshomaru", Naraku emphasized, showing that he wasn't going to use his title. "Not no, but hell no am I getting in that damn van. What the fuck are you running, a circus? Seeing how many people you can cram into the Mystery Machine before the damn thing breaks from stress on the axles?" Sesshomaru chuckled again. "You don't have to take me up on my polite offer of car pooling. I mean, there is always public transportation." And with another chuckle, he hung up.

"Freak," Naraku muttered. Looking out the window again, the embarrasing scene with everyone in the van was gone, a cloud of ozone killing fog in its place. He took a quick shower, drying off his hair as he decended the stairs. Kanna was sitting on the couch upside down, eating a bowl of cereal, Kagura was at the kitchen table eating a bagel. "Morning, Mr. Broke. Can I get you anything? A dumpster to root out of? Perhaps you'd like a meatless burger?" Naraku glared at her. "It's not my fault that that dumb ass decided to go to Burger King, king of the meats, and order a meatless whopper. If he wanted that, he could have made that at home. Any while your talking, how come you're not working?

Now it was Kagura's turn to galre it him. "Because your dumb ass told me not to, Mr Macho man who said that he'd provide everything for us and then goes and loses his entire business." Naraku frowned. "Yeah, well I wasn't expecting that." "Of course not, shit happens." Somewhere deep, deep deep inside him, he felt a little guilty about losing his business on her behalf. Her being his prize creation, he had always made sure he treated her well, letting her go on shopping sprees and taking Kanna to any five-star restaurant that she wanted. Now they were reduced down to eating- "Is that a bagel?"

Kagura looked down at the bagel in her hand. "Yes it is. Want one?" Naraku made a face. "I hate bagels." He started to leave out the door when his stomach growled. He stopped and hit a u-turn, grabbing the bagel that Kagura knowingly held out for him. I used to be able to have full platter breakfasts at IHop. Now I've been reduced down to eating petrified raisens in wheat bread.

Naraku decided to take the subway to get to work. The thing was, though, the subway was two miles from his apartment, meaning that he would have to take the bus to get to the subway! He sat down at the corner of the street at the pus stop. An middle aged man sat down next to him. "Now back when I was in the war, I had a friend named Bubba who told me all about how we could enter the shrimpin' business and about all these dishes his mama used to make, like shrimp and potatoes, shrimp soup, shrimp and rice, shrimp and--" "Excuse me," Naraku interupted. "But I don't give a damn about any of this. Why the fuck are you telling me it?" The man looked at him for a moment, then from nowhere, produced a small box. "Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're gonna get." "Man, get that the fuck away from me!" He looked offended for a moment, then got up and went over to another bench and started talking to an elderly woman.

The bus arrived twenty minutes later, making him behind schedule ten minutes. As soon as he stepped on, he noticed that every seat was filled. Except one at the back. He headed there, noting that the man who sat there, though unkept and unshaven, was asleep. How bad could sitting next to him be?

Two minutes into the ride, the man awoke and started talking to himself. "Where am I? Why am I here? I want my health benefits! Give me my rights! I should be able to go out any time I want to, not be confined to my room after seven!" What the hell is he talking about? Naraku thought. A young woman in front of them turned around and smiled at Naraku. "Don't worry about him. He get's like that sometimes. He thinks he's back at the nursing home, but we're on a run to the pharmacy to get his perscription filled out."

Naraku tried not to mind him, but it's kind of hard to act like the man who's sitting next to you who's talking to himself is sane. Suddenly, the man stood up and took a glass bottle that he had had concealed in his jacket and broke it on the seat, pointing the sharp edges at Naraku. "I say, sonny, give me your booty or me gonna stab your liver-bellied heart out." Naraku made a sour face. "Look, I'm not like that. I know I look like a woman, but--" "I said, give me your loot!" Naraku looked at the young woman in front of them. She turned around and pleasently smiled at them again. "He does this sometimes, thinks he's a pirate. He's just playing."

But this man didn't seem like he was playing, holding this broken bottle to his throat and demanding his booty. He pressed is harder to his skin. Naraku lost his nerve and took off his plain pewter chain and fake Gucci watch. "The be-dazzled sunglasses too." Naraku unhooked them from his shirt and handed them over. The bus stopped and both the man and the woman got off.

Ain't that a bitch! I just got punked for my fake jewlery! What the hell happend to me? He sighed and sat back. Maybe that man was right. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.