InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Got Any Spare Change? ❯ Public Transportation part 2 ( Chapter 4 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

The bus ride from hell lasted twelve more blocks, until Naraku finally was able to get off and hit the subway station. The only problem was, everyone seemed to be coming out of the subway, while he was trying to get in. He pushed his way through, but it all seemed pointless. Just when he had reached the ticket booth, a fresh wave knocked him back, forcing him back up the stairs to the begining. But what really was pissing him off was that everyone seemed to not care if they tramped on other's shoes.

He tried to keep his feet from in front of them, but still they got stepped on. Finally he screamed at a man, "Watch where your walking, buddy! That's pure gator's you're stepping on!" "Fuck off, pal! They're fake anyways!" Naraku was on the hush-mouth. They were fake, but still, they were about all he had left to wear, not really being able to afford new shoes at the moment.

Mercifully, he was able to get back to the ticket counter and pass on through the gate. He watched as people milled around, waiting for the subway to come. He didn't know if it was just him, but it seemed like everyone had a Starbucks coffee in their hands, like in that commercial where everyone is dancing around in their work suits as if today was really going to bring something new just because they were drinking Starbucks. It pissed him off because he wished that that were true, that by drinking and singing "I will make today the day", or whatever, he'd get his company back, or at least get a good position working for the obnoxious Sesshomaru. He sighed. Life sucked.

And still he was being jostled! Twice he almost fell on the tracks. Somebody's trying to kill me. Another person pushed him and he lost it. He released his miasma, happy to see when the people started dropping like flies. "There, that's more like it! Uh-oh, wait. Is this the sleeping miasma or the killing miasma?" He looked around and heard no snoring."Oh, shit." He started whistling over cherrily to himself, and started walking leisurly away from the scene of the crime, then broke into a jog, then started sprinting.

He got about two blocks worth covered before he heard the subway behind him. There wasn't much space to move on the side, about two feet, and just the sound of the cars behind him made his legs weak; something told him that he'd probably end up falling into or in front of the train, a perfect ending for a perfect life. He could just imagine the headliners: "Broke Woman Wearing Fake Gator Shoes Jumps in Front of Subway. Catch the full story tonight on Fox."

He stopped running and braced himself against the wall and hoped the rattling of the cars wouldn't be enough to make him fall over. As the cars whooshed by, he held for dear life onto a crack in the wall. "How come when people are listing the most dangerous and extreme sports in the world, walking on the side of subways isn't one of them? I could really break a record for this!" But just as the train was about to fully pass by, he fell over. Luckily, he grabbed a pole on the back and pulled himself inside the train.

Trying to find a seat on the subway was completly different than finding one on the bus. While the bus was crowded, the subway hardly had anyone on it. Naraku chose a spot near the front of the car so as to be one of the first off. He was already behind schedule by an hour. He happily sat down in something wet. Somebody's throw up. "Oh, now this shit is ridiculous! Who the fuck throws up on a subway?" "I do," a man next to him said. Naraku was about to get up and move, when the man grabbed his shirt. "I don't have anything!" Naraku said quickly. "I gave everything on me to some crazy old guy on the bus!" The man looked him over for a moment, then pointed at his shoes.

"What about those?" Naraku went pale. "These? These are my only shoes I have and they've got to last me till my first check, whenever that is." The man was silent for a moment, then said. "How much?" "I already told you, they're not for sale." The man shook his head. "Not them, you. How much?" Naraku decided not to dignify the man with an answer. Unfortunatly, that wasn't a good move. "That's alright, missy. I like me's the quiet types." Naraku stiffend and casted him a side glance.

The idiot was smiling in what Naraku guessed was supposed to be a sexy smile. It appeared nothing of the like, his mouth missing over half of his teeth and what remained was the color and texture of butter. "How about this. You give me a Cleveland Steamer for fifty. Is that good?" "Hell no!" "Okay, okay, don't get touchy. A hundred." Naraku gagged "I'm a man! Leave me the hell alone!" The other guy mumbled something to himself and turned away, appearing asleep. But Naraku had already learned that looks can be decieving, so he decided to stand up instead.

As the train traveled, it rounded a sharp corner, throwing Naraku into the man. "So, you've changed your mind pretty lady?" "Damn it, didn't I just tell you I'm a man?" The other guy looked him up and down again, then said, "You know, I'm not as old as I look. I gotta take me a few Viagra before I get going but once you've had me that's all you'll need." It took all of Naraku's might to keep from throwing up.

The train came to a stop a moment later, and whether this was his stop or not, Naraku got off. The man got off too. Naraku broke into a run, but despite the man's age, he kept up with him! "I'm gonna get you my pretty!" "Aaagghh!" Naraku screamed, then thought of something: his saimiyousho. Pulling the nest from withing his coat pocket, he threw it behind him. A second later, he heard the blissful cries of someone being tortured. But it wasn't the man, it was the insects. Having lifted up his arms, the man had knocked out everything within twenty yards of him. The only reason Naraku was spared was because he was heading away from him.

Finally, Taisho Unlimited came into view. Never had Naraku felt so glad to see that building. In fact, he still wasn't happy to see it, but it seemed just a little bit less menacing than before. Running inside, he didn't stop until he was safely in the elevator. How in the hell do I manage to get myself into situations like this?

He stumbled out when the doors opened, heading toward his cubicle in an exahusted daze. Unfortunatly, though, he was intercepted by Sesshomaru. "Where the hell have you been? You're two hours late! And what the fuck is that smell? It smells like Big Foot's ass!" Naraku took a few deep breaths before he said, "I sat down in some old man's puke who wanted to have sex with me." The entire floor went silent.

Sesshomaru up-turned his nose at him in a snobbish way. "Oh, now that's just fucking sick. Now you have the smell to go along with the hooker look you're sporting. Way to go, Onigumo." And with that, he left, smirking at his own inginuity. Naraku growled silently to himself and sat down at his desk. No one talked to him, saved Kohanu.

"Hey, Naraku! How's your--" He stopped as he caught a whiff of him. He disappeared over the side of his cubicle again, then reappeared with a car air freshener, pine scented. He put it on his nose, then silently sank back onto his side, typing extremely fast and loud on his computer, as if that would block out the smell.

Inuyasha walked in the front entrance of the floor, but immediatly hit a u-turn, calling over his shoulder, "What the hell smells like Hoshiyomi's ass?" Hoshiyomi, sitting across the room from Naraku, threw a blast at Inuyasha, but it missed and sizzled a hole through the wall. "That's coming out of your paycheck, Mr. Hoshiyomi," Sesshomaru said over a loud speaker. Hoshiyomi got up and threw his desk out a wall, then stormed out. "That too," Sesshomaru added.

Naraku sighed and got to typing random stuff. Never again in his life would he take public transportaion. Compared to his morning, the over-packed Mystery Machine looked like a grand limo ride. Well, almost.


So, there you go, another chapter to keep you guys happy! Hope you liked it, and review to tell me exactly what you think! Oh, and for anyone who dosen't know who Hoshiyomi is, do you remember the episodes where Akitoki Houjo had to get the Naginata (don't know if I spelled that right!) of Ken-Kon sealed? Hoshiyomi is the villian that they fight during those episodes. Why the hell is he too working for Sesshomaru, I don't know, but don't look too much into it. This story is probably going to mention just about everybody from the show at least once. For example I put Jiningi, that over-grown whatever (though his daddy was fine as hell! Kind of looked like Sesshomaru!) in the last chapter. Anyways, let me quit rambling. Please reveiw!