InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Guilty Hero ❯ Intoxicated Subtleties ( Chapter 39 )

As always, I begin with a thank you to all reviewers. You guys are awesome. ^__^

For this chapter, I must think hedanicree for her excellent beta work and enormous patience with me as I argue with her, and I must grovel at Karaumea's feet for helping me practically write this darn thing. ^__^ Also, a thank you to Sassy as always for her kind words of encouragement.

Also, I have posted a pic for this chapter on my DeviantArt account, for any and all who are interested. The link is on my profile.

On with the chapter.

Guilty Hero

Chapter 38: Intoxicated Subtleties

Inu-Yasha was frozen in place for a split second, his brain trying to catch up with the events. The attack had come out of the blue, and he simply wasn't prepared for the sight of Kagome unconscious on the ground. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her crimson blood pouring from a nasty gash on her forehead, rendered by the demon's claws.

“Kill girl! Kill dog!” screeched the demon from its perch on Kagome's stomach. In response to the shriek, Inu-Yasha suddenly whirled around in time to see two lumbering ogres thunder out of a nearby alley.

“Kill dog!” the leader rumbled in reply. “Master happy!”

His battle instincts finally kicking into gear, Inu-Yasha didn't hesitate to move. Kagome was in danger, and thus, the top priority. With a furious bellow, he leapt forward and grasped the bony flyer's neck in his fist, wrenching the demon off Kagome and snapping its neck in the process.

He turned so that his back was to Kagome, crouching down to be in the best position to protect her from the monsters barreling their way. He flung the limp body of the flying demon at them, it smacked the leader in the face and forced him to stumble. With that obstacle removed, Inu-Yasha sprang out and met the second attacker head-on with his claws. The stupid creature had entered the fight with nothing but its fists, which Inu-Yasha deftly blocked. With one swipe, the ogre's head was removed and its body toppled to the sidewalk in an unceremonious heap.

The other thug, who managed to recover from the surprise attack, continued to stride toward Kagome, grunting, “Kill girl. Kill dog. Master want.”

Inu-Yasha wasted no time. Skidding around, he leapt across the remaining distance and landed in front of Kagome, causing the beast to suddenly stop in surprise.

“Dog,” it rumbled. “Master wants.” It raised its fists, ready to bring them crashing down on Inu-Yasha's head. However, the fierceness of Inu-Yasha's glare made it hesitate, fear freezing its movement.

Pausing a second longer to let the ogre know his fury, Inu-Yasha struck. Its fate was similar to its companion's, and soon its body slumped to the ground in two pieces.

After making certain there were no other attackers, he whipped around to Kagome's still form, nearly afraid to touch her. “Kagome?” he wheezed, for his swift actions had irritated his breathing once again. He crouched down, his eyes roaming over her while he panted for breath.

Blood continued to ooze from the gash on her forehead, making her pale face seem white in contrast. Underneath her, a red pool was slowly forming, a sign that there was an open wound where she hit her head against the brick wall. What terrified him the most, however, was how still she was.

“Kagome?” he whispered again, hoping that perhaps she would awaken with the sound of his voice. Reaching out a trembling hand, he carefully shook her arm, and then quickly withdrew. With the tangy, iron smell of blood clogging his senses and the chill touch of her skin, he was afraid to touch her. He had to force himself to do so, because he knew she needed help immediately.

His breathing became more labored as his fear heightened, but he carefully slid his arms under her in preparation to carry her inside to the Order's hospital wing. However, as soon as his claws touched the thick liquid that coated her hair, he froze. His breath caught in his throat at the familiarity of the position.

For just a moment, the image of Kikyo's battered, torn body replaced Kagome in his vision. He could feel her warm blood coating his skin, a sharp contrast to how cold her body felt as she had slowly slipped away from him. With a gasp, he immediately pulled away from Kagome, shaken to the core by such a reminder of his past. And, more importantly, what it meant in the present.

Was Kagome dead? So much blood stained his vision, and his demonic hearing strained to hear any whisper of breath coming from her lungs, to no avail. Kikyo had been in an almost identical position all those years ago, and it ended with her death. Inu-Yasha was rooted to the spot, unable to move at the thought that Kagome's death might be imminent.

Then save her, you fool! the logical part of his brain yelled at him. You couldn't save Kikyo, but you have a chance with this girl! Do you want to give up on her?!

With a sharp intake of breath, his heart thundering, and his hands shaking, he finally leaned forward and gathered his limp body in his arms. Although he had to force down the terror building in his chest, determination settled in his gaze. He was NOT going to lose this one.

He was on his feet in a second and he banged open the doors to the Order and rushed inside. Ignoring Rin's shriek at the sight of blood, he bypassed the elevators and leapt down the stairs.

“I need a doctor, dammit!” he shouted before he even entered the hospital wing. “Where the hell is a doctor?!” Kicking the door open, he barreled inside and glanced wildly about for assistance. “You! Girl!” he snapped as the doctor, a young woman named Koharu, ran toward him. “She's hurt! Help me!”

“Just calm down, sir,” Koharu replied calmly. She studied Kagome for a second before striding toward the double doors. “Follow me.”

Anxious and frustrated, Inu-Yasha stayed hot on her heels, obediently following her into an operating room while growling with impatience. “Hurry up, dammit!” he snarled as she quickly prepared the sheets on a hospital bed. “Kagome's bleeding! She could be dying while you're doing nothing, woman!”

“Sir, please,” Koharu said firmly, fixing him with a sharp look. “Lay her here.” Gingerly, Inu-Yasha eased Kagome's limp form onto the white sheets, oblivious to the nurse's disgruntled glare. “Now…” She immediately pressed a sterile cloth to Kagome's head and applied pressure on the gash. “What happened?”

His eyes never leaving Kagome's face, he slowly mumbled, “Demon attack. I didn't catch on in time. Hit her head against the wall. Damn bird cut her. And now she's bleeding and unconscious, and I can't do a damn thing to help.”

Casting a quick glance at him as she worked, Koharu's irritation with him softened at the sight of his expression. Clearly he was just worried about this girl and was unsure of what to do for her. With a small smile, she removed the cloth. “She hit her head against a wall, you say?” She carefully moved Kagome's head on the pillow, then frowned at the red stain on the white cushion. “Oh dear…”

Inu-Yasha twitched when he heard her last statement. “What? What is it? Is it bad?” He gripped the side of the bed so hard that the metal bar actually bent from the force. “Is-is she gonna… g-gonna…”

“I'm sorry, sir, but I don't know anything as of right now. I'm going to have to do a CAT-scan to see the extent of her injuries. If there is any internal bleeding or damage to her skull, immediate steps need to be taken. So, if you wouldn't mind to leave the room, I can get started right away.”

“Well, I… um… Isn't there anything I can do?” He seemed to be very unwilling to leave Kagome's side.

With a sympathetic look, Koharu told him firmly, “Please, step outside and leave me to my work.”

Abruptly shutting his mouth, he shifted his gaze to Kagome's pale face, his brow pinched together in worry. He carefully reached out and covered her still hand with his trembling one, then winced at how cold her skin was to the touch. His lips twitched like he was about to speak, but before he uttered a sound he turned on his heel and fled the room.

As the double doors swung shut behind him, he stumbled over to the waiting area and slid down on a bench, slumping over and resting his head in his hands. His breath came is short gasps, and his limbs were trembling uncontrollably. Now that Kagome was in someone else's hands, he no longer had a reason to stay composed.

He couldn't keep from shaking as the events caught up with him. While the suddenness of the attack certainly had him surprised, it was the sight of Kagome's motionless body that left him jelly-legged with terror. It shook him to the core to see her blood, and the thought of her being gravely injured left his chest so tight that he could hardly breathe.

She has to pull through this… he thought desperately, digging his palms into his temples as he squeezed his eyes shut. The sharp crack of her skull hitting the wall played continuously in his ears, cutting into him each time. He let out a short moan as the scent of her blood drifted to his nose. Barely lifting his head, he glanced at the palm of his hand where her blood stained the skin red. He was entranced for a moment by the sight and his breath caught in his throat. For several moments he stared at it, and then suddenly, he whimpered as his body forced him to take a breath. He quickly closed his fist and shut his eyes once more.

She can't die… Merely thinking that sentence made him gasp as emotion welled up in his chest. He hated the thought, but it was reality; there was a very real chance that Kagome wouldn't pull through. He had been in many battles and had seen many wounds. He knew as well as any doctor how dangerous head injuries could be. All he could do now was sit and wait for the nurse to tell him what was wrong.

Baring his fangs in a grimace at the floor, he covered his head with his arms and clutched his hair tightly in his fists. She can't die… I can't keep going on if she's not there. I need her.

The short, choking gasps as he tried to hold back his emotions abruptly stopped. His eyes popped open, staring wide and unseeing at his sneakers.

“I… I need her?” he whispered aloud. Despite the uncertainty of the question, he had no doubt. He did need her. If he was so shaken at the thought of her absence, then it had to be true. “I need her,” he said again.

When had things gotten to be this way? There had been a time, what seemed so long ago, where he had settled for his own company and nothing more to pass the days with. Now, the thought of a day without having her around was dreadful. Recalling how depressed he had been on Christmas Eve without her made his chest ache. Every morning when he awoke, he immediately thought of where Kagome was, for meeting her at the kitchen table for their morning coffee and tea was the only reason he climbed out of bed. Every time his day of leisure was interrupted to do something, he found he wasn't as irritated if he was doing it with her. Why was that?

He ran his fingers through his bangs as he thought; the answer came to him easily enough. She treats me just as I am, he thought, a shadow of a smile crossing his face. She wants to understand me. To her, I'm not a weapon, I'm not an agent, I'm not a savior, I'm just… me.

His lips twitched as he thought back on all the times she had put up with his petty behavior in order to get closer to him. She was one of the few who actually fought her way past his defenses to get to him. And not only did she fight to get to know him, she fought so she could help him. So she could make his life better, so he could be happy.

And damn, does she do a good job. A weak smile appeared on his face as he thought of her. She made him happy. All of their little chats over morning coffee, when he was cranky and she was cheerful, made him happy. Spending the evening falling asleep on her lap while watching TV made him happy. Having her close by while he fought through the last couple hours of the day until it was time for his whiskey made him happy. Seeing her smile every time he emerged from his shell and made any progress made him happy. And, it was all because of Kagome.

He loved seeing her happy, too. Her smile was beautiful, and it filled him with an incredible feeling every time he saw it. He loved her smile, and whenever she was having a bad day, he always felt the strange desire to make things better for her, because he wanted to see that smile and because he loved that smile. Because I love her…

As soon as that little thought wormed its way into his conscious, he froze, the smile dropping off his face in an instant. Rather than bringing him any joy with the realization, it instead flooded him with fear. The last person he had felt such an attachment to was Kikyo, and when that attachment was severed, he had nearly been beaten. And now with Kagome… His feelings for her were stronger than anything he had felt for Kikyo, even at their best. So to think of what might happen if he were to lose Kagome…

“I…I love her…” he choked out. Terror gripped him with an iron fist, unshakeable. His limbs trembled and his throat closed up with fear. Love was a dangerous territory, one that he was extremely hesitant to enter once again. After losing so much with his first love, the mere thought of trying again made his heart quail and his resolve crumble. His hands dropped limply to dangle from his knees and he hung his head, staring blankly at the floor.

Silence reigned for several minutes in the waiting room until all of a sudden the doors banged open and Sango and Miroku rushed breathlessly inside.

“Inu-Yasha!” Miroku said loudly, skidding to a halt in front of the motionless demon. “Where is Kagome? How is she? Is she all right?”

“Rin paged us—she said you had come running in carrying Kagome and shouting for a doctor. We came as soon as we could,” Sango added, coming up a couple steps behind Miroku. “What happened?”

Both stood, panting a little after their run as they waited for Inu-Yasha to answer their queries. However, their concern grew after a few moments of silence. Inu-Yasha hadn't even moved a muscle upon their arrival. In fact, Miroku was beginning to doubt the demon had even registered their presence. With a worried glance at Sango, he carefully eased onto the bench next to Inu-Yasha, casually resting his elbows on his knees and casting a glance at the demon. Sango took position on the other side, gingerly resting her hand on Inu-Yasha's back. Such a display of affection was awkward for her, but she was genuinely worried.

“Inu-Yasha…?” she asked softly after a few moments, hoping he might finally acknowledge them. “Can you tell us what happened?”

After a very long moment, the demon suddenly took a deep, shuddering breath. “Demon attack,” he mumbled, his voice distant. Clearly, his thoughts were elsewhere. “Kagome…was injured. Brought her here.”

“Injured?” Miroku repeated anxiously, trying to catch Inu-Yasha's eye. “How so? Is it bad?”

At the question, Inu-Yasha's breathing grew more labored. Sango could feel him trembling underneath her hand. “I…I don't know,” he whispered. Behind his back, Sango urgently shook her head at Miroku, signaling him not to press the subject. Of course, they were concerned over Kagome's well-being, but it seemed to be causing Inu-Yasha more stress than it was worth.

“All right, then,” she said smoothly. “We'll just wait here with you. We'll find out together what happened.” Saying that took more effort than she had thought. With the city on the brink of war, the sense of responsibility in her hated the thought of waiting around when there was work to be done and problems to be solved. However, her sense of loyalty to Inu-Yasha was putting up a fierce fight. Only once before had she seen him as shaken as he was now, and she hated the sight. Clearly, Kagome's wounds had him worried, and she wasn't one to abandon him now.

Inu-Yasha remained silent and gave no indication that he had heard a word.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It had been well over an hour since Sango and Miroku had arrived at the hospital wing, and still the double doors had yet to open. It was a sign of concern for them, and for Inu-Yasha, it apparently was torture. He had yet to utter a sound or even move from his slumped position on the bench, but the trembling in his limbs was noticed easily enough, and his shaky breathing grew more audible as time passed. Sango and Miroku had tried to rouse him after awhile, but it was a fruitless endeavor.

However, when Miroku's cell phone abruptly went off and shattered the peace in the room, it was startling enough to shake even the demon from his trance. He gave an enormous start, then immediately fixed his gaze on the double doors, clearly disoriented. Sango quickly waved her hand at him to get his attention, and then gestured at Miroku, not wanting Inu-Yasha to get his hopes up that the nurse had arrived. He blinked dazedly at her, then finally heard Miroku talking and figured out that it wasn't the nurse. Worry consuming his expression once again, he turned and rested his head in his hands once more.

“Hello, this is Miroku.”

Sango, feeling a little forlorn to see the demon looking so dejected, tried to focus on Miroku's conversation instead, knowing that no one called his phone unless it was for work.

“Yes, Rin, what is—What? Are you serious?! Okay… All right, we'll be right there.” Quickly snapping his phone shut, he turned to look at Sango, a small grin on his face. “Sango, we need to head up to our office immediately. Kaede has returned and is waiting for us now.”

Her mouth dropped open in surprise. Often it felt like Kaede's return was never going to happen and she and Miroku would have to bear the full burden of responsibility of the Order forever. Hearing such news made her jump to her feet in anticipation. However, she paused and turned back to Inu-Yasha. She felt terrible, leaving him in the lurch, but Kaede's return was of utmost importance.

Crouching down in front of him so she could look him in the eye, she put a hand on his knee to get his attention. The sound of Miroku's phone going off seemed to have jarred him awake, and he shifted his gaze to look at her.

When she saw how ghostly pale and pinched with worry his face was, she nearly lost her will to meet with Kaede. But still, now was the time when her work took precedence. With a deep breath, she said, “Inu-Yasha, we need to take care of some business now. But please, the moment you know anything about Kagome's condition, call us, all right? And if things should… um… if it's worse than… er… If you need us for anything, let us know. Don't hesitate to call.”

Her words did nothing to alleviate his concern, and he let out a soft, choked whimper in reply. While regret and guilt tugged at her conscience already, she climbed to her feet. Without a backward glance, she turned and strode out of the room, Miroku following quickly behind. He paused in the doorway and offered as a farewell, “The moment you hear anything, Inu-Yasha.”

Silence settled with their disappearance. Inu-Yasha stared down at his shoes, simply trying to keep his fear contained. It felt like it was gnawing into his chest, to the point where it hurt. He hated the feeling, and was desperate for it to go away. He didn't care how; he just simply did not want to deal with the implications of his love for Kagome, or the fact that his love might never be returned if she didn't pull through. That was the only reason he was still rooted to the bench. He would have long ago fled the building, fled the source of his dread if it weren't for the fact that Kagome's status was unknown.

He didn't know how much longer he sat there alone, but he had just reached the point where he felt he would lose his mind if his fear wasn't relieved when the double doors swung open and the doctor emerged.

His gaze locked on her in a second, and he tried to go to her. However, his legs were shaking too badly to support his weight and he dropped back to the bench.

“How…how is she?” he asked hoarsely, his voice high and weak.

Koharu was silent for just a moment, a little taken aback by his condition. He had deteriorated more than she has expected while she had been behind the doors. Putting an encouraging smile on her face, she said soothingly, “She's just fine, Inu-Yasha.”

With those words, he took a deep, shuddering breath, as though he hadn't taken a full breath for the two hours since his arrival.

“She just had a bad concussion, that's all. She must have hit her head very hard to have knocked her out for as long as it did. Fortunately, when I did the CAT-scan, there was no internal damage.”

“And… and the blood?” he whispered, hardly able to speak any louder. “There was so much…”

“Head wounds always produce copious amounts of blood. She did have a bad cut on her temple, which I assume is from a demon's claws. Also, the back of her head was terribly scraped up from the brick, which was the source of most of the blood. I've cleaned both wounds out, and they've stopped bleeding. Right now, she's just sleeping. We do want to keep her overnight, but she should be well enough sometime tomorrow to go home.”

Inu-Yasha nodded shakily, slumping against the wall and staring at the ceiling.

Koharu, pleased to see the look of slight relief on his face, said gently, “You know, you can go and see her now. She's not awake, of course, but you can sit with her if you like.”

For some reason, all relief vanished from his expression at the statement. He stared at her, his eyes growing wide. Slowly, he climbed to his feet, using the wall to support himself. “Uh…n-no, that's all right… I… just…um…Need some air.” Then, he turned and, stumbling in his haste, fled the hospital.

oOoOoOoOoOo

“Goodness,” Kaede croaked as she shuffled about the office. “Much has happened since I've been gone. Things are grave indeed.”

“Yes,” Miroku agreed, leaning against his desk with his legs crossed while he watched her. “And it's gotten to the point where Sango and I are just unsure of what to do anymore. There are so many unknowns, and we simply don't have the means to uncover them. Mayor Muso is apparently trying to tear the Order apart, which is just going to make this war more difficult to win, and all the while we can do hardly anything against an opponent who has yet to show his face.”

“That's the most frustrating part,” Sango conceded. “We know exactly where this superdemon is hiding out. We just can't get to him. We tried to get Myoga to go back, but he's too frightened. He flat-out refuses to do it. So now we've got him on surveillance in Muso's office, but as of now we've found out nothing.”

“Is there no other agent who can infiltrate the demon's hideout?” Kaede asked, casting a glance at the list of their agents in her hand.

“Well, no demon could possibly make it through undetected. Myoga barely made it out alive because even his meager demonic aura was caught. And if no demon can make it through alive, then I certainly wouldn't send any of our human agents. We need as many people as we can to protect the city, and sending one on a suicide mission is immoral and ultimately useless.”

“Hm.” Kaede fell silent, staring hard at the list. Sango and Miroku cast a glance at each other, each hardly daring to hope. Having worked with her long enough, they could tell when she was coming up with a solution their troubles. It was incredibly heartening to have their leader back, since they'd had such little success as of late.

“Perhaps we needn't make this a `suicide mission,'” she finally said at last, looking up from the list. “There is another option.”

“Another option?” Miroku asked. “Such as?”

“We could send in a mole.”

“Ah…” Sango nodded in realization. “An undercover agent? That sounds… risky. And dangerous. I don't know how many agents would be willing to do it.”

“It would have to be a human,” Miroku added, processing the new concept. “From what Myoga says, many demons in the city have simply been absorbed into the superdemon. I'd fear that if we sent one of our demon agents, they would never be seen again.”

“A human, boldly entering an obvious demon hideout would be a thing of interest,” Kaede said. “They would have more of a chance of having their story heard if this demon's curiosity is piqued enough.”

“And how do we ensure that would happen?” Sango seemed unconvinced.

Kaede stared levelly at her. “We make certain the mole would be the most unlikely of people. Someone this demon feels would be useful, yet easily dispatched should the need arise. Someone who's talents could be used for the demon's cause.”

Shifting uncomfortably under Kaede's gaze, Sango frowned. “Is there someone particular you had in mind for such a dangerous mission?”

Kaede nodded slowly, sadness seeping into her expression. Growing concerned by her stranger behavior, Sango demanded, “Who, Kaede?”

Pausing for just a moment, Kaede finally sighed, “Kohaku.”

oOoOoOoOoOo

“I know it's been a while, boy,” Iro began, speaking for the first time since Inu-Yasha had barreled into the bar an hour ago in a near panic. “But you're gonna make yourself sick if you keep drinkin' at this pace.” After almost two weeks' absence from the Tap, Iro had been a little surprised at the demon's sudden appearance, though he did welcome it. Business had dropped considerably since Inu-Yasha had left, so to see his prime money-maker cheered him up quite a bit.

“Mmph.” Inu-Yasha swallowed a large gulp of whiskey, shaking his head as it burned down. “Unh… Like I give a damn if this makes me sick,” he grunted. “I jus' want this feelin' t' go away…” He rubbed his chest, which was still tight with fear and worry. The whiskey had eased his trembling and relaxed his muscles, but that tight knot in his chest refused to fade.

“Is it some health problem?” Iro asked, lifting the whiskey bottle to wipe the counter off underneath it. “Is that why you've been gone for so long?”

“Naw,” he growled in reply. “I've been gone `cause Kagome won' let me come here anymore. She's helpin' me quit drinkin'.” He drained the rest of his glass after that statement, earning himself an odd look from Iro.

“Huh. She's doing a damn fine job, I see.”

“She is doin' a damn fine job!” Inu-Yasha snarled back, slamming the glass down. “She always does a good job! She's won'erful!”

Rolling his eyes, Iro pulled the cup away from Inu-Yasha so he could refill it properly. “Well then, if it ain't health problems, then what the hell are you talking about?”

Inu-Yasha, who had been almost angry mere moments ago, suddenly seemed to close up. He frowned deeply and shifted his gaze to the bar top, clamping his mouth shut.

“Oh, quit that, boy.” Iro's tone was stern as he set a full glass in front of the demon. “You can't just come in here in a tizzy and then shut up about the moment I ask. Spill it.”

For a moment, it seemed like Inu-Yasha was about to be stubborn. However, he finally grabbed his tumbler, took a long swallow, and then sighed heavily. “It's Kagome…” he mumbled, his cheeks turning red.

“That girl again? Boy, when are you gonna learn that this woman is a bad influence on you? She's done nothing but cause trouble, ever since she showed up.” He abruptly stopped speaking when Inu-Yasha fixed his bloodshot eyes on him in a terrible glare. Clearly, the topic of Kagome was not up for question.

Satisfied after a moment that Iro was going to keep quiet, Inu-Yasha continued. “I've fallen in love with `er,” he said hoarsely, his fingers in a firm grip around his glass. “But I'm scared. I haven' forgotten what happened th' last time…” He shuddered. With whiskey clouding his senses, the sheer terror that had gripped him in the hospital didn't have the same effect, but he still hated the sensation. “I jus' don't know what t' do about it. I can't get `er outta my life. She's… she's th' most important thing t' me. If I push `er away, what've I got left?”

Iro let out a short, humorless laugh. “Boy, is this what's bothering you?”

Inu-Yasha frowned a little at him, pulling his gaze from the amber liquid in his glass. He didn't quite appreciate his fear being taken for so little. “Yeah. Wha's wrong with that?”

Shaking his head, Iro leaned against the counter. “Tell me, how long has it been since you've…been with a woman?”

“Um…” Inu-Yasha stared blankly at him for a moment, clearly having difficulty following the situation. “Well, I was jus' with Kagome at th' hospital.”

“No, no, boy. I mean, on a more…intimate scale, how long has it been?”

“…Intimate? Like, kissin'?”

“Along those lines, sure.” Iro winked at Inu-Yasha, trying to get his point across.

Inu-Yasha hardly noticed. “If ya mean kissin', then I guess Kikyo's th' last one. Why?”

Rubbing his forehead, for Inu-Yasha was rather oblivious tonight, Iro decided to go on anyway. “Well, that's my point. The last woman you've been with was Kikyo. And how many years ago was that? Eight?”

Inu-Yasha nodded miserably, swallowing another mouthful of whiskey. “Eight years ago,” he repeated softly.

“No wonder you're so afraid, boy. If it's been eight years since you've had any interactions with a female, then it's high time you change that. You've had one hell of a dry spell.”

“Wait. D'you mean… I should tell `er I love `er?” Inu-Yasha paled at the thought, his grip growing very firm around his glass. “But… but wha' if somethin' bad happens to `er? I couldn' take another loss like that! Hell, wha' if she doesn' love me back? I-I don' think tellin' her's such a good idea…”

“Boy, if you do things right, you won't have to worry about any rejection. You'll have her eating out of the palm of your hand.”

Inu-Yasha just stared at him, his face screwed up in confusion. With a sigh, Iro topped off Inu-Yasha's glass, then set the bottle down and looked him in the eye.

“All right, boy. Sit back and make yourself comfortable. You've got a couple things to learn before the night's over. The first thing you need to know is this: do NOT just flat-out tell her you love her. That's gonna get you nowhere, and probably earn a rejection for yourself. If you wanna get anywhere, you need to make advances first.”

“Advances?”

“Uh-huh. Be subtle, though. Lead up to bigger steps. Start with a playful touch on the arm or the hand. Then perhaps you could sit a bit closer to her than you normally would. Maybe rest your hand on her knee.”

Inu-Yasha frowned in contemplation. “An' ya think Kagome would like that?” he asked.

“Oh, all women like that. They are very perceptive to subtlety. However, they try and pretend that they aren't, just to tease you.”

“But… how do I know if what I'm doin' is workin'?” Inu-Yasha appeared to be genuinely interested by the prospect of letting Kagome know how he felt.

“You'll be able to tell if you catch those little messages women will send you. For example, let's say you sit a bit closer to her than normal. Well, she might shift away from you, but maybe she'll flutter her eyelashes at you. Or perhaps you put your arm around her shoulders. She might not do anything, but if you look close, you'll see her blushing. It's all about the little things, boy. You just need to catch `em. By and by, you'll be able to make more open advances, and soon making love won't be as difficult as you once thought. Just don't forget: wait for the signal. A woman will always let you know if you're doing it right.”

“A signal…” He sipped slowly at his whiskey, his brow furrowed in thought. To be certain, the endeavor sounded like it was very risky. He still would have to openly admit his love for her eventually, and the thought still frightened him. But from how Iro was talking, it seemed that he couldn't fail if he followed the bartender's advice. He wanted dearly to show Kagome how he felt. And now that he knew she wasn't going to leave him anytime soon, it made the whole situation look a little better.

A small smile grew on his face as he thought about her. He knew, deep in his gut, he was right. She was worth going through hell for, without a doubt. He did love her, and he did need her. It was as simple as that.

“Maybe… Maybe it is time to tell `er I love `er. I need to show that to `er.”

“Don't just tell her you love her, boy. Show her. In bed.”

Inu-Yasha blinked at him in confusion. “Why does it have t' be in bed? Can't I do it anywhere?”

Iro tried to smother a snort of laughter. “You're open-minded boy, I'll give you that. But no, a bed is best. Hands down. You get her in bed, she'll have no reason to doubt how you feel about her.”

Although he still didn't quite follow how a bed had anything to do with his love for Kagome, he simply shrugged. All he knew was that the tight knot in his chest was easing and the sense of dread that had consumed him back at the hospital was gone. Things were going to be all right with Kagome, he just knew it.

With a determined grin at Iro, he raised his glass and growled, “I'll drink t' that.”

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

A pain-filled world of bright lights and blurry outlines greeted Kagome as she rose from the depths of unconsciousness. As her head pounded furiously at her, she let out a soft moan and turned away from the fluorescent lights, hoping to ease the throbs.

“Inu-Yasha…” she murmured, slowly shifting her hand around in an attempt to find him without opening her eyes. She wanted to feel his firm, strong grasp around her fingers, comforting her and easing her pain. “Inu-Yasha…” she murmured again, shifting as she tried to find him.

“Miss Higurashi?” An unfamiliar voice, accompanied by the click of a ballpoint pen, made Kagome slowly open her eyes, curiosity getting the better of her. “Are you awake?”

“Yes,” she mumbled hoarsely. Blinking rapidly as the light barraged her eyes again, she slowly made out the outline of a young woman standing over her. “Where am I? Who are you?”

“You're in the Order's hospital wing. I'm the doctor, Koharu. You took quite the beating, Miss Higurashi. You've been in here for several hours now.”

Blinking again, her eyesight finally seemed to sharpen. Her gaze paused only a moment on the friendly young woman before roaming about the rest of the room, searching for one person in particular. “Inu-Yasha,” she said again, her voice stronger this time. “Where's Inu-Yasha? Is he hurt? There were demons, I don't know if he was able to—”

“Please calm down, Miss Higurashi. You shouldn't get too excited right now.” Koharu gently pushed down on Kagome's shoulders as she tried to rise from the bed.

“Where is Inu-Yasha?” she asked once more, irritation growing in her tone.

“Inu-Yasha isn't here,” Koharu finally informed her, opening up a wheelchair and pushing it towards the bed. “He stayed up until I finished the CAT-scan and told him that you were going to be all right. He then left in a hurry, even after I told him he could come in and see you.” She gently tugged the blankets off Kagome and motioned for her to sit up. “He seemed to be very upset about something. I can only imagine he was worried about you.”

“Worried about me?” she repeated, slowly pushing herself upright. Pausing for a moment as the world took a sudden dip in her vision, she waited until everything stopped spinning before moving into the wheelchair. “If he were worried about me, then why isn't he here now?”

“I don't know, Miss Higurashi,” Koharu replied distractedly, retrieving the clipboard off the end of the bed. “Now, if you don't mind, there are just a few tests I want to run, and then we'll send you back to bed.”

Kagome said nothing in reply. She frowned as Koharu wheeled her into another room, and then started to run the tests. As she was peppered with questions about how she felt, she answered them half-heartedly, her thoughts elsewhere.

Where was Inu-Yasha? She would have thought that he would have been worried enough about her to stay until she was back on her feet, or at the very least, conscious. She had done the same for him, more than once before, and she had thought that perhaps the favor would be returned in kind. She really did want to see him, to have him nearby, and for whatever reason, he was not there.

Once she was brought up to date on what had happened and the tests were run, she then put up quite the fuss when Koharu tried to get her back to bed.

“I'm sorry, doctor, but I have other places to be,” she said sternly. “I need to find Inu-Yasha. I want to make certain he's all right.”

“Miss Higurashi, you really need to be resting now. You won't do your head any good by wandering the city alone. I'm sure Inu-Yasha will be back to see you momentarily. Please, just get back in bed.”

Kagome fixed her with a firm glare, keeping a tight-lipped silence. Koharu waited for a couple moments, thinking that Kagome was just going to climb out of the chair and back in bed. However, when that never happened, she sighed and wheeled Kagome outside.

“Fine, Miss Higurashi. You may leave tonight. But I am making Sango and Miroku aware of the situation, and you are staying in this chair until you are out of the building, understand?”

Kagome nodded, waiting a little impatiently as Koharu made the call to Sango and Miroku. She then was pushed onto the elevator and forced to endure the headache-inducing ride up. On top of feeling slightly woozy, she couldn't help but feel dejected and alone. For some reason, she had simply expected Inu-Yasha to be there when she awoke, and his absence was noted like a slap in the face.

“Kagome!” Rin called brightly when the elevator doors opened and Koharu pushed her into the reception area. “You're all right? Oh thank goodness, I was so worried. How are you feeling?”

Mustering up a weak smile for the girl, Kagome fingered the bandages wrapped around her head. “All right…” she replied dully. “I've got a bad headache, but other than that I'm doing all right.”

“Oh, good. I mean, I'm sorry you have a headache, but after the sight of that blood—well, I'm glad a headache is all you've got now.”

“A headache and a couple scars, nothing more.” Her attention was clearly elsewhere, judging from the distant tone of voice.

“Would you mind calling a cab for Miss Higurashi, please?” Koharu asked. “She isn't supposed to be driving any time soon.”

“Of course.”

Staring out the window while Rin quickly placed the call, Kagome studied the darkened streets, hoping to perhaps catch a glimpse of Inu-Yasha's white hair. The small hope that perhaps he had slipped outside for a quick smoke while she was asleep crossed her mind, but he was nowhere to be found. With a light sigh, she turned around again when Rin hung up the phone.

“A cab's on its way. It should be here in just a couple minutes for you.”

“Thank you, Rin.” She was about to turn back to the window when a thought popped into her head. Directing her attention to the receptionist's desk, she asked conversationally, “Say… You haven't seen Inu-Yasha anywhere, have you? I go unconscious for just a few hours and he gets off his leash, you know.” She let out a weak laugh.

“Inu-Yasha? Well, I saw him a few hours ago.” Rin's tone was surprisingly serious for her bubbly personality. “He was in a rush and he looked terrified about something. He just ran straight outside. I'm pretty sure I heard him say something about a drink, but he was going so fast, I couldn't be sure. Boy, was he upset though…” She clucked her tongue, looking sadly out the window. “Poor guy. He was very worried about you when he came in, I could tell.”

Kagome didn't hear another word after Rin mentioned the word `drink'. Her eyes going wide, she mumbled a `thank you' to Rin and abruptly climbed out of the wheelchair, going outside to stand on the sidewalk. She was so distressed that she barely heard any of Koharu's protests at her sudden movement. Please, no… she thought, anger and frustration mounting in her. After all he had been through, everything he accomplished, she desperately wanted to believe that it wasn't true. He wasn't weak enough to fall for drink, surely he wasn't.

She did her best to control her temper as she tersely gave the address of the Cornerstone Tap to the taxi driver once he arrived. During the ride, she leaned her head back against the seat and shut her eyes. Partially to ease the pounding of her head and partially to keep her emotions under control, she kept them closed for the duration of the ride. However, despite her best efforts to keep her composure, a horrible niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach told her that she was indeed about to catch that fool of a demon red-handed with a bottle of booze.

As the cab finally pulled up to the curb in front of the Tap, her heart sank when she spotted the shock of white hair through the window. Biting her lip to prevent any tears of frustration falling, she took a deep breath and slowly climbed out of the car.

“Please wait here,” she said shortly to the driver. “I'll just be a minute.”

Striding up to the door, she flung it open and stepped inside. She barely took her eyes off the demon as she wove her way in between table and chairs to make it to the bar. As she neared him, she could see that he was very wobbly on his stool, and was very haphazard with his drink, often spilling a little as he over-emphasized a point.

“…cut tha' bassurd in half!” she heard him proudly slur. “K'gome's gonna be proud o' me for that. She's jus' great tha' way.”

For some reason, it was that comment that made her snap. She was upset enough over the fact that he was drinking at all, more so due to the fact that he had abandoned her and opted for liquor instead. She was tired, she was in a great deal of pain after her ordeal and she had wanted nothing more than to spend a quiet evening with Inu-Yasha. But now, to add insult to injury, he was expecting her to compliment him on his actions for the day, and she simply could not stand it.

A glare set firmly in her expression, she stomped the last few steps up to him and roughly pulled the tumbler out of his hand. “You've had enough,” she snapped, fixing him with her steely gaze. “We're going home now.”

“Wha' th'… Kagome?” Wobbling around on his stool to look at her, a sloppy grin spread across his face. “You look good. Not s'much red.” He was quite clearly in a fine mood, no doubt stemming from his first intoxication in almost two weeks.

“Thank you for noting my lack of blood. Pay your bill.” Her lack of humor and icy-cold tone were lost on the whiskey-sodden demon, but Iro was not oblivious. Not wanting to see a fight break out in his bar, he said to Inu-Yasha, “She's right, boy. It's time for you to go. I'll have to mop you off the floor if you stay much longer.”

“Naw…” Fumbling with his wallet, he tossed a couple bills on the counter and then carefully slid off the stool, immediately stumbling into Kagome. Kagome roughly pushed him upright, keeping silent as she put his arm over her shoulders to steady him. For some reason, with that act Inu-Yasha glanced over at Iro, a hopeful grin on his face, but Iro silently responded by holding both hands up, clearly saying `slow down.' Inu-Yasha bobbed his head in acknowledgement.

“What's that about?” Kagome snapped, her curiosity piqued despite her anger.

“Nothin',” he slurred in reply, leaning heavily against her as they slowly walked to the door.

Rolling her eyes, she pursed her lips and kept quiet. Once outside the bar, she released her grip on him and roughly pushed him toward the taxi. “Get in.”

He stumbled a couple steps until the taxi driver, who had helpfully opened the door, caught his arm and eased him inside while Kagome walked around to the other side. Once both passengers where settled, he climbed back into the driver's seat and took off after being given the address of their destination by a clearly displeased Kagome.

Inu-Yasha sat quietly for just a moment, trying hard not to be lulled to sleep by the motion of the car. The freedom he had felt at not having to worry about the number of drinks he consumed had led to an over-indulgence, but he couldn't let that stop him now. Kagome needed to know his feelings tonight, no matter what. So, sitting up a bit and shaking his head, he decided to start slow.

Kagome gave a slight twitch, abruptly jerked out of her thoughts when she suddenly felt Inu-Yasha's hip bump against hers. For some reason, unbeknownst to her, he had shifted closer to her. She cast a cold glance at him, then quickly turned away, staring pointedly out the window. She could feel his intense gaze on her, never moving for several minutes. Finally, just at the point where things had grown awkward enough to comment on, she heard him sigh and look away.

Feeling a bit of relief, for his glassy-eyed stare was enough to raise her concern, she slowly shut her eyes. Her headache was pounding relentlessly, chipping away at her patience with each throb. Just as things settled into a more comfortable silence, however, something warm came to rest on her knee. Nearly leaping out of her skin, she quickly looked down and discovered that Inu-Yasha had set his hand there.

In any other circumstance, particularly a sober one, the gesture would have been sweet, and Kagome would have welcomed the closeness. But now, with her temper on edge and an extreme lack of patience with him tonight, she wouldn't stand for it. Meeting his inquisitive gaze, for he once again was studying her face as intently as his drunkenness would allow, she gathered as much skin on the back of his hand as she could in a firm pinch and removed his hand from her leg. He let out a short yelp in surprise, and then jerked his wounded appendage away, frowning in frustration.

Apparently that reaction was enough to keep him at bay for the rest of the cab ride, much to Kagome's relief. She had no clue why he suddenly wanted contact, but it was wearing on her nerves and she wasn't going to stand for it. That was why, once they were dropped off at his apartment, it was with such dread that she took his arm over her shoulders once more to begin the six-story climb.

She normally would have used the time climbing to chastise him on his behavior, and to explain to him the consequences of suddenly binge-drinking after several nights' sobriety, and to offer up her constant support to him once more. But tonight, she couldn't bring herself to do it. Far too upset and irritated, she began the climb in total silence, focusing more on making it up to the next level.

Inu-Yasha was next to useless during the climb. He seemed to be leaning more heavily against her than before, and Kagome swore that she could see a grin growing on his face in the process. “Come on,” she ground out through clenched teeth, jostling him a little. Her head was pounding worse than ever now, and the extra stress was helping nothing.

For a couple more flights, he seemed to be able to stand up a bit straighter, but then Kagome realized how awkward things had become. He had somehow caught her up in a sort of one-armed hug, squeezing her arm against her as he did so. That, unfortunately, affected his balance as he grew incredibly heavy once again. And, for the third time, she caught him staring at her face, as though waiting for a sign.

Gritting her teeth, for her patience was about at its end, she heaved him back into the proper position, radiating stiffness and anger that was clear enough for even Inu-Yasha to feel. The extra weight he had been putting on her lessened, but she could hear a soft growl of frustration coming from his throat.

Like you have any right to be frustrated right now… she thought bitterly, tugging her load up the final step.

Inu-Yasha was indeed aggravated with his lack of progress. Three tries had gotten him nowhere. Three tries of subtle actions had given him nothing in return, despite his attempts to catch a blush forming or a quick glance from behind thick lashes. Iro's advice, while it had seemed sound in theory, was proving to be more difficult in practice.

Maybe I'm being too subtle, he pondered as Kagome tugged the door to his apartment open. But what else do I do? For some reason, his thoughts wandered to Sango and Miroku. Miroku's attentions were not lost on Sango, Inu-Yasha was certain. Their relationship, though never publicly announced, was quite obvious. And Miroku… Well, Miroku was certainly not as subtle in his attentions to Sango. So perhaps…

Kagome was slowly allowing herself to feel a bit of relief, now that the bedroom was in sight. All she would have to do is get him in there, drop him on the bed, and then she could leave him alone for the rest of the night. Right now, she was far too angry to deal with him, and she knew she would regret anything if she tried speaking with him. No it was best to wait until morning, after a good night's sleep—“Eep!”

The strangled shriek escaped her throat as several things happened at once. She heard Inu-Yasha mutter a slurred, “Whoops,” she lost her grip as he suddenly leaned very heavily on her, and then she felt a clawed hand cover her breast.

For a moment, both of them froze. Inu-Yasha, for he had surprised himself by accomplishing such a feat, and Kagome, for she had never expected to be groped tonight, by Inu-Yasha no less.

Taking in a slow, shuddering breath, Kagome slowly removed Inu-Yasha's hand from its sensitive position. She turned to look at his hopeful face, his glazed eyes shining with eagerness. Her bottom lip began to tremble, her face burned a bright red, and a shudder coursed through her. Without a word, she turned and ran down the hallway, slamming the bedroom door shut.

Inu-Yasha stayed where he was a few seconds longer, trying to figure out what had happened. Unless he was gravely mistaken, he finally had gotten a reaction out of her. She had made eye contact with him, he was certain she had blushed, and she had even run into the bedroom. Iro had told him it was best to tell her in bed, right?

Smiling at his success, he stumbled down the hallway, bumping more than once into a wall before finally stopping in front of the closed door. “Kagome…?” he called, knocking. “Lemme in, will ya?”

She surprised him by flinging the door open after the first knock. However, any joy he held at his success flooded out of him in a second at the sight of her. Her face was bright red with anger, and her flashing blue eyes were frightening enough to send shivers down his spine.

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” she hissed, fury coming off her in waves. Inu-Yasha was forced to step back from the force of her anger. “First you abandon me at the hospital, then you go get drunk off your ass, then you get all touchy-feely with me, and finally you grope me?! Where the hell did you get these ideas?! Why on earth do you think I want you touching me like that?! That is beyond inappropriate, and you have been nothing but that all evening! You are the rudest, most insensitive jerk I have ever had the displeasure of helping, Inu-Yasha!”

Surprised beyond measure at such a negative response, Inu-Yasha's frustration mounted throughout the course of her speech. He was sick of not getting his point across. Iro's advice for him had done nothing, and Kagome still didn't know how he felt for her. He was tired, he was unhappy and he was sick of being unclear in his actions. With a short growl, he suddenly stepped forward.

“I have half a mind to go tell Sango and Miroku right now that I quit being your damn nurse, because this is just about the lowest thing I have been forced to—” Her rant was immediately broken when Inu-Yasha brought his lips down upon hers, sealing her voice with a kiss.

Shock held her still for only a moment before she simply melted into it. It was sweet and chaste, not at all what she would have expected coming from him that night. But, for a reason she didn't understand, it felt just right. All of her frustrations and anger from the evening slipped away at his attentions. His arms slowly wrapped around her waist, enveloping her in that warm cocoon and gently pulling her closer. She was unable to resist, gripping him back and savoring the moment. She didn't want it to end.

You can't be doing this, Kagome, the logical part of her brain told her, interrupting the moment. He's your patient. Besides, he wasn't there for you when you needed him today. He was off soaking himself with whiskey while you were lying unconscious in the hospital. You can't get in a relationship with him.

Her heart said different. Her heart wanted to stay with him, locked in such a beautiful embrace, tasting his warm lips on hers. But she couldn't. She simply couldn't, not yet.

Anger welling up in her once more as she realized he had silenced her with a display of affection, she could no longer stand it. Tears trailing down her cheeks, she raised her hand and effectively ended the perfect moment with a sharp slap across his cheek.

He reeled a moment, clearly unable to recover as quickly as she from the effects of their kiss. Holding his smarting cheek, he peered blearily at her. His wounded expression did nothing to sway her this time around.

“That's enough,” she said furiously, her voice trembling. “You have taken advantage of me for the last time tonight.”

“But… I don' unnerstand…” he said slowly.

“Oh, go sleep it off, you drunk,” she snapped, caring little how hurtful the comment was. “Get out of my sight.” And then the door was slammed in his face.

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