InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Halves ❯ Double-edged Destiny... Crossed? ( Chapter 12 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Halves

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha and I do not make money from writing this story.

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A/N: Hmm, I bet you'll like the next chapter better. But for now you have to settle for this one. Enjoy, don't forget to review, and, of course, a huge thanks to everyone who's shown their support :)

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Kagome breathed heavily as she climbed some difficult rocks, this mountain was too high for her liking, but she had to get as high as possible to make sure that Naraku really couldn't come. The base was covered in weak spiritual power, but the purity of the air increased with height. It was a good thing that she was a miko, otherwise the unrefined purity would have prevented her from climbing.

As her feet carried her higher, Kagome didn't allow her mind to wander, she only focused on her body's strength that would bring her to safety. She trusted her powers fully now, the training was complete.

Kikyou had taught her everything she should know about miko powers, Kaede had deepened that knowledge and shown her a few tricks and Miroku had ensured that she would be able to combine mental concentration with physical calm. Kikyou had wanted to do that at first, but the Emperor hadn't let her. She remembered it clearly.

“But Inu no Taishou-sama-”

“No, Kikyou, you must understand your place. You are, indeed, Kagome's trainer, but you cannot do those things. The physical training is not fit for a princess, no matter how prepared you are, can you understand this? The people would gossip about it, do you want that?” The Emperor scolded, yes, he was right, but Kagome was her responsibility.

“As you wish, Inu no Taishou-sama,” Kikyou said with a bow and the Emperor nodded.

“Kaede, you are to train Kagome physically, and no arguments,” he ordered. The old woman's eyes widened, but she had no choice, she nodded.

However, Kagome was surprised to overhear the two mikos talk about how Kaede couldn't teach her the physical part of the training, she was too old for this, too inappropriate for such a job. She overheard them how they planned to have a monk train her. Kagome gasped. She knew that men - it didn't matter if they were monks - were never allowed near mikos in training. This was dangerous, Kagome only hoped the two women knew what they were doing.

Yes, Kagome was completely prepared for the hardships being a miko brought. She would do whatever was in her power to destroy Naraku, who was a plague to the whole world. Yes, she would remove the evil and then make a life for herself. A family and a nice, comfortable house.

She suddenly had the urge to see her mother again, her brother, her grandfather. How were they doing? Were they missing her? Yes, they had to. She loved them all, why couldn't she go back? Would Souta be hurt as a soldier? Would her mother heal all the people she had to treat? She wanted to be there, to be part of that.

Her expression hardened suddenly as she decided she wouldn't think about it anymore. She'd go on with her mission and she'd succeed, then she'd worry about anything else.

About having a husband of her own, children of her own - she wanted two. Yes, the Kami had been generous so far, surely they didn't intend to turn their backs on her now.

A small pang of something bitter returned inside her chest, but she ignored it completely. It was of the past. Inuyasha belonged to the past, she wouldn't think about him or their destroyed bond anymore. She had no connection to those things anymore, now she belonged to herself, she was free to do as she pleased. She'd wipe all thoughts regarding her past from her mind and she'd be happy with whatever life offered her. That was the beauty in being free, in having the choice, and she enjoyed it fully.

After all, now she didn't have to suffer anymore, she didn't have to shed blood tears anymore, what more could she wish for? She just regretted not having done it sooner, Inuyasha had known about that way of terminating the bond, why hadn't he suggested it sooner? She supposed it was because of his father, he was always pressuring him into everything, but she wouldn't ponder on it for too long now. What was done was done, no need to think about it too much.

So Kagome made a vow to herself. She wouldn't think about Kikyou. She'd forget about Inuyasha. If her training had paid off, then she would surely be able to pull it off. She'd clear her mind of all thoughts of Inuyasha, just like Miroku had shown her she could. Yes, that really sounded like a plan, she'd do it.

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Inuyasha felt on top of the world when he felt Naraku's presence - finally, he was going to find and get Kagome back. This had to be his lucky day, he thought. The Kami must really like him, he thought. It didn't matter that they weren't Halves anymore, he wanted to return her to her family, she deserved that. She didn't deserve to be caught by that vile monster. Above all, he wanted her safe.

In a few moments, a grim thought he'd purposefully ignored crossed his mind again - what if Naraku had done something bad to Kagome? What if he had done to her what he'd done to Sango? No, he wanted to think Kagome was stronger, he wanted to trust her powers - she was the Miko that protected the Shikon no Tama after all, wasn't she? But he knew she was just in training, she didn't know the whole extent of her powers, she couldn't use them fully.

With renewed endeavor, he furrowed his brows and let his reddened blade strike through the bastard's barrier. Naraku seemed surprised by Inuyasha's accomplishment, but nevertheless, he smiled. And his smile was twisted, unsettling, it brought a twinge of desolation into the pit of Inuyasha's stomach, why did he have a bad feeling about this?

“Are you looking for your precious Half, prince?” Naraku asked ironically, it was clear that he had something up his sleeve.

“Where is she?” Inuyasha drawled between gritted teeth. It was becoming increasingly difficult for him not to pounce on the bastard and pull his eyes out with the tip of his blade.

Naraku pointed to himself and relished the sight of Inuyasha becoming even more confused.

“I asked, where is she?” Inuyasha repeated and the demon before him repeated the gesture.

“She's dead,” he said seriously and Inuyasha swore he saw red. For a moment, his world stopped spinning, his heart stopped beating, blood stopped being pumped through his veins, no, it couldn't be true. Kagome couldn't be dead. “I absorbed her body,” the monster added, driving an invisible double-edged sword through Inuyasha's body, it hurt, it screeched, it couldn't be true.

“You're lying,” the hanyou protested rather weakly, he refused to believe such nonsense.

“You can look for her anywhere, you'll never find her. She's dead, Inuyasha-sama,” he mocked, obviously enjoying every minute, every word of it.

Kagome was dead. Kagome was no longer… in this world, Inuyasha realized. He'd failed to protect her. He'd waited too much, he'd stalled too long in his shock, he was guilty.

And the bastard before him was even guiltier, he had to die.

Tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, Inuyasha's face twisted with his anger as he sliced the demon with a single swing of old Tessaiga. His mind was unable to form coherent thought, because he just couldn't accept Kagome's death. No. He could not.

He'd killed Naraku, it seemed, but he was too late, too damn late, because Kagome was no more. Kagome was no more. He could imagine her eyes wide open with fear as the monster's tentacles would pull her into his body, it was so disgusting to even think about. Or had Naraku killed her first and then took her into his body? And what had Inuyasha done now? He'd killed Naraku, who had Kagome inside his body.

But something was wrong, The hanyou's head snapped to the side to watch his enemy's body dissolve into a wooden puppet. He cursed out loud, clutching a few tendrils of his own, silver hair and pulling forcefully - he hadn't even managed to kill Naraku. It had only been a puppet.

But Kagome was still dead, there was no changing that. It only meant… Inuyasha's eyes widened with realization. It meant that the Shikon no Tama was inside Naraku's body now, didn't it? That made things even worse.

How cruel was fate? How cruel was his fate? It was all his fault - if he hadn't told her about Hosenki, if they hadn't broken the bond, none of this would have happened. He would have been able to easily find her, he'd have prevented all this. But things were never meant to be easy, life was never meant to be peachy. He'd repeated his father's mistakes, how could he have been such an idiot? Such a fucking idiot.

What more was left for him? Kikyou? He didn't know whether he could face her right now… It would be best for him to continue the mission his father had given him in the south.

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Sesshomaru didn't know why, but that Kagura was present in his mind for too long, why was that? Maybe because she had been so intriguing, yet so amazingly open. He sensed some worry from his Half, but he'd pay it no mind. It was Kagura that had him bothered right now. Why couldn't he figure her out? She wanted him to help her with something, but with what? And her obvious attraction towards him was even more unsettling, seeing as he was traveling with his many-hundreds-of-years-younger Half.

“Sesshomaru?” he heard a meek voice from behind and instantly halted his steps. How could he love such a frail being as the one behind him? How had his soul chosen her in the first place?

“Yes, Rin?”

“Could I have some time alone?”

Somehow, the question pierced his heart. Sure, she could, why not, but that didn't mean it shouldn't bother him.

“Of course,” he said firmly, intent on waiting for her somewhere to ensure her safety.

“Could you take me back home for a while?” she asked further, surprising him completely.

“Why?” was his prompt question.

“Could you?” she insisted and he had no choice but nodding. He'd bring her home, he'd watch over her from afar as he'd done before, he'd make sure she was safe, he had to. He… wanted to.

Jaken protested loudly at the girl's insolent request, but he shut up quickly when his prince asked the girl a question.

“Will you give me a reason, Rin?”

The girl sighed, she was so cute, “That woman was really troubled, you should help her.” Sesshomaru's eyes widened, was she serious? “But… I don't want to be there when that happens,” she added in a whisper, her eyes colliding with the ground. Sesshomaru vaguely wondered if she was jealous, but quickly decided that couldn't be true - she was too little after all. Too little. That was his misery, his Half was still but a child.

“Hn,” he nodded, he would do as she wished.

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A few days had passed and Inuyasha had already managed to stifle the rebellion down south. It hadn't been too hard, his frustration had been a real help, but it didn't make his heart lighter. On the contrary, it made him want to hide his soul somewhere where it wouldn't be stepped over. The pain didn't subside, it would never sink below, it would always float near the surface, lingering just between his eyes. He hadn't even had the chance to tell Kagome how he really felt about her.

He regretted everything now, he regretted ever falling in love with Kikyou and her falling in love with him, he regretted denying what he felt for Kagome, he regretted destroying their bond, he regretted making her suffer.

That's what her life had been: an endless pile of suffering. She'd… suffered all the way to her last breath. Damn.

Inuyasha looked at the hole he'd punched in the ground in his despair, he couldn't accept this, but it was true. The bastard had killed his… what was she for him anyway? She was no longer his Half, that was sure, but he wanted her to be.

You're too damn late, you fucking asshole.

But it was no use cursing himself and his stupidity, it was too late. He was too late.

The haze in his mind lifted a bit when he smelt his brother nearby. There was the scent of that little demon, Jaken, too, and a totally new, fresh scent. The scent of a woman. But it was so sweet, so delicate, he had to know what it was.

“Brother,” Sesshomaru greeted, stopping in his path, followed by his companions.

“Sesshomaru,” Inuyasha said with a straight face, instantly taking the sight as what it was. “I have to talk with you.”

“Hn,” the older prince accepted, following the younger one to a secluded area, but making sure they were still within seeing range.

“She is your Half,” Inuyasha plainly stated, it was pretty obvious by how Sesshomaru's youki had raised at the feeling of another youki nearby. Yes, the girl was his Half, what did it matter that she was so young?

“Yes,” Sesshomaru admitted, he had no reason to deny it.

“Does she know?” Inuyasha asked, his eyes empty, Sesshomaru could see the forest behind him through them.

“She is too young,” he said cautiously, trying to determine what had happened to his brother, yet not wanting to ask just yet.

“Don't lose her,” Inuyasha said grimly, resolutely. “Don't dare let her out of your sight for just a second, do you hear me?”

“Something wrong with your Half?” Sesshomaru asked ironically, he didn't know, how could he guess how much that question hurt? Inuyasha didn't even think about how come Sesshomaru knew about Kagome, the older prince was always well informed about everything.

“She's dead,” Inuyasha stated simply, it was a simple concept, wasn't it? People died every day, it was the way of life. Yet his Half had died, the woman he loved had died, how was that fair?

Only a few times in his life had Sesshomaru been really shocked, and now was one of those. His eyes widened and he couldn't really figure what to say. That was impossible, wasn't it? His brother was… still alive.

“Then how come you're not dead, too?”

“We've destroyed the bond a while ago.”

The full demon's eyes narrowed dangerously in what could only be interpreted as blind rage, “How convenient, huh? You destroy the bond then she dies and you can be with your precious wife. Isn't fate so delicious?” he mocked, almost ready to beat his brother into his own death.

Inuyasha turned his back on him abruptly, the spiteful words cutting through his soul, “You have no idea what you're talking about.”

The older prince spun him around, fully intending to give him a piece of his mind, but he halted his actions at the sight of his brother's willingness to let himself beaten. What happened to the enthusiastic hanyou that always enjoyed sparring with his older brother? Where was his spunk, his spirit?

“What is the matter with you?” Sesshomaru demanded with a canine growl.

He wasn't expecting the lost tear that trickled down his brother's cheek, “She's dead.” It was as if understanding finally washed over Inuyasha in painful, excruciating waves, and how could he stop it? He hadn't wanted to show his weakness to his brother, yet it was so easy to lose himself in the torrent of emotions, to surrender to the onslaught of ache.

The older demon straightened his back, he understood. He really didn't want to trade places with Inuyasha right now. “You love her, don't you?” When his brother didn't even twitch to reply, he continued, “You've finally realized that this bond is not to be trifled with. That it's no game.”

“Yes,” Inuyasha admitted, “yes, I understand now, but do you?”

Sesshomaru wanted to laugh, of course he did. He wasn't an idiot like his brother.

“Take care of your Half. There's a bitch called Kagura that takes young girls for her master. Her master killed Kagome, so be sure to keep your Half safe,” Inuyasha warned, completely missing the stupefied look on his brother's face.

“Kagura, you said?”

“Yes, that's her name. She has a huge quill and she handles the wind and serves Naraku.”

Naraku. Yes, Sesshomaru remembered that name. “I found out that Naraku has sent Abi-Hime that time when your Half saved you,” he disclosed, wondering why Inuyasha seemed so confused.

“Huh? When Kagome saved me?”

“Abi-Hime was that demon who-”

“I now who she was, but Kagome didn't save me, Kikyou did,” Inuyasha protested and his brother snorted mockingly in disbelief.

“You must be really stupid to say that. Do you mean you could not tell the difference between your Half's spiritual power and your wife's? Kikyou-Hime had nothing to do with all of you being alive that day, even I felt it, and I wasn't too close.” Truly, it was pathetic how Inuyasha hadn't recognized his Half's power.

Inuyasha, however, was shocked. Kagome had saved them that day? She had been the one who'd protected them, not Kikyou? But why hadn't his wife said anything? Now that he remembered, Kikyou had seemed a bit disconcerted. He owed Kagome so much and…

“Fine,” he said, he had no more strength to say anything else, he wanted to leave, “just make sure never to leave your Half alone. Just stay with her like this. Don't let her travel behind you, but in front of you. Trust me, I know what I'm saying. The bastard wants something from us, and it'll only be a while until he sets his eyes on you and your Half.”

Sesshomaru nodded, he understood, he wouldn't let Rin go back anymore, he wouldn't help Kagura. He'd just protect his Half.

“Good,” Inuyasha said, “I'll go. Congratulations on your bond.”

“Thank you,” Sesshomaru wanted to say, but wouldn't he be too insensitive? And what did it matter? - he wanted to ask himself, but he knew that however uninterested in his brother's affairs he was, he couldn't act like he didn't care when his brother clearly suffered so much. He couldn't stand the bastard son, as he liked to call him, but that didn't mean they weren't brothers.

Then Inuyasha left. Now Sesshomaru was sure he couldn't let go of Rin, he could never let go of Rin. He watched her play with Jaken between colorful flowers, even the little demon seemed to be enjoying himself by her side. She was the sunshine in his life, maybe she could change him. Not that he thought he needed a change, but maybe she was a good thing in his life.

“Rin,” he called and she immediately stopped all actions.

“Yes, Sesshomaru?”

“You are not going home,” he stated, leaving no room open for discussion. The girl, however, was oblivious to the decisiveness of his tone.

“I'm not?”

“No, there is danger nearby and we will just walk ahead,” he explained patiently, how was it that he always found enough patience for her?

“But-”

“You are not going home,” he repeated and he swore, he swore he could see her smile.

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Kagome cursed her luck, what was she supposed to eat? Berries would not be enough and she'd need to find something else soon, or else she didn't know if she could survive. She couldn't hunt, she wouldn't have the heart to kill animals, but then how could she survive? The abandoned hut had been a blessing, what more could she have wished for?

It seemed that life brought many abandoned huts in her path, but no, she wouldn't think about that. Determined, Kagome pushed away all similar thoughts and focused on looking for supplies, maybe she could find some rice or something.

She had pots, those she had found in the beginning. There was a clear river at half an hour distance, she could always get water if she needed it, so that didn't pose a problem. Yet she didn't have enough food.

The hut was at the outskirts of a forest, so she feared wild animals coming, but she'd deal with them on the spot rather than worrying for nothing. Sighing, she rummaged through a few chests she found there. No, there were only clothes, unfortunately male clothes, and blankets. Lots of blankets. Well, she wouldn't know cold, that was for sure.

Her heart started pounding rapidly when she found what she'd been looking for - rice. And lots of it, too. She was saved, she'd make sure to draw them out. They'd have to suffice until she'd come up with a good plan to defeat Naraku. Yes, things didn't look so bad after all.

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Miroku sighed. He really, really regretted ever doing anything. He'd been punishing himself for a while now, but he still couldn't change things. Sango had told him what the bastard Naraku had done to her - she was happy that he hadn't raped her, but what he'd done was equally haunting. How had she found it in her to stand the pain while he ate her flesh, while he devoured her skin and then healed her only to do it all over again? How humiliated she must have felt when he'd jerked himself off against her thigh to relieve himself of the sexual tension… The bastard was sick, he was… utterly disgusting, but there was nothing Miroku could do at the moment that could kill him. He'd have to plan something.

And then the news about Kagome being dead… Sango was even more devastated now, she regretted ever saying anything against the young miko. The only one left in total darkness was Kikyou-Hime, and he felt sorry for her, because she didn't even know that Kagome had been her husband's Half before they got stupid and destroyed the bond. Kikyou was so naïve, and that was only because everyone else decided to keep things from her.

Yet he, Miroku, couldn't just tell her. Inuyasha should. Kikyou-Hime should hear the facts from Inuyasha's mouth, it was her right, she deserved the truth. He'd talk to Inuyasha when he came back, but now he could do nothing more than to grieve the death of the miko and to plan the monster's demise.

“Miroku?” he heard a meek voice inquire and he turned around at the sweet sound. Sango, the beautiful, amazing woman had forgiven him, Kami knew why, but he would work hard to earn her love.

“Yes, my love?”

“I couldn't sleep,” she said, coming over and cuddling against his chest. He held her tightly, enjoying the sweet scent of her hair.

“It's alright,” he soothed, kissing the top of her head.

“No, it's not,” he heard her say between sobs, she broke his heart with every tear. “I feel so guilty all the time.”

“Why?” he asked, but he knew why. Kikyou-Hime came to see her faithfully, always bringing her cures, always making her laugh, and how did she repay her? She kept the truth from her. She couldn't tell her about Kagome, about Inuyasha. Kikyou had been shocked to find out about Kagome's death, everyone had, but would the princess be as upset if she knew what Kagome had been to Inuyasha? She was kind, she was generous, but would she forgive the young miko?

“I want Kagome to be alive, I never meant all those horrible things I said. I didn't really want her to be in my place, I didn't want her in Naraku's hands, I didn't-”

“Shh,” The Emperor's Nephew soothed, kissing the broken woman's temple, “I know. It's okay, shh.”

“And then there's Kikyou-Hime. I… don't like keeping things from her, but I can't tell her. I just can't say it. And I can't stop remembering Naraku's touch, his teeth as he was tearing my skin,” a shiver overtook her, “did you know…” her eyes were injected as she held Miroku's gaze with her own, “did you notice that I don't even have scars? It makes me feel crazy. I know what I felt, I know what he did to me, yet… he healed me, over and over again… then he started…. eating… me again, and I… now I don't even have the scars to prove it.” She averted her eyes, letting the tears assault her eyes, she couldn't hold them back, she never could and her lover understood this.

“It's going to be hard, but we'll get through this together,” he promised quietly.

“He told me so many things, I believed him, Kami-sama, I was so stupid… He tricked me, he made me believe all sorts of things. Miroku, am I a terrible person? Am I a terrible, terrible woman?”

“No,” he replied, squeezing her in his arms, “no, you are not. You are wonderful, you're wonderful, Sango.”

“Why did they destroy the bond?” Sango asked meekly, changing the subject, “Why would they do such a thing?”

“I told you they didn't like how it enslaved them,” Miroku explained calmly, he didn't want an argument.

“You were right, I didn't believe you. I didn't want to believe that Kagome wasn't guilty, that she wasn't being intimate with Inuyasha behind Kikyou-Hime's back. I was wrong about her, I told Kagome she was my friend and then I badmouthed her even as she was dying,” Sango whined, clutching Miroku's robes for support, as if they were her last lifeline.

When it came down to it, Sango didn't really want to know, but she had to ask, she had to hear Miroku say it, “What do you think he did to her?” She had the feeling Miroku hadn't told her everything out of consideration, but she had the right to know. She needed to know.

“You… I'm not going to tell you,” he said firmly.

“Miroku, please,” she begged desperately, “please.”

His sigh was deep, “I don't know much, but I do know that he absorbed her inside his own body.”

“What?!” her eyes were so wide, her mouth was hanging open, her hands, they were trembling. Sango couldn't breathe. Naraku had… absorbed Kagome into his body? Absorbed Kagome into… his own, disgusting body? What had he done to her before that?

“What more? What more did he do to her?”

“I don't know,” Miroku said, obviously frustrated, “I have no idea, I honestly don't know.”

“It's my fault,” she concluded, “it's all my fault.” Her whole body started quivering, she was in a state of shock, “Kami-sama, I did this.” Her lover shook her, but she didn't really notice it.

“How is it your fault?” Miroku questioned desperately, “Sango? How is it your fault?”

“I wanted her in Naraku's hands instead of me. I wished she could suffer my fate. I did this!”

“No you didn't, love, listen to me; you did not kill Kagome. Naraku did, and we're going to get him. You and I,” he promised, looking into her eyes, “you and I are going to finish him off, okay?”

“I'm going to become a taijiya,” she decided all of a sudden and Miroku cringed.

“Sango, perhaps-”

“When can I start the training?” He couldn't stop her when she looked at him like that, he couldn't say no when she seemed so determined, so… full of hope.

“Tomorrow. Tomorrow you'll start the training.”