InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Hanyou on a Hot Plate: Guess Who's Coming To Dinner ❯ Turkey the Other White Meat ( Chapter 6 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: hedgehogmadhatter 
Kagome closed her eyes, the ruckus was loud and confusing but there was no mistaking the sickening sound of a solid turkey carcass slamming against the dining room wall.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 01.09.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 4.9K | Visits: 762 | Status: Completed
Kagome closed her eyes, the ruckus was loud and confusing but there was no mistaking the sickening sound of a solid turkey carcass slamming against the dining room wall.
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 01.09.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 4.9K | Visits: 762 | Status: Completed
Chapter Six
Turkey the Other White Meat
Inuyasha advanced on Sesshomaru growling low under his breath. Sesshomaru stood behind Kagome looking bored. “Stupid mortal, is this the best you can do?”
The knife buzzed as Inuyasha lifted his arm and charged his taiyokai brother. Sesshomaru sidestepped the attack but Inuyasha anticipated this and spun on the balls of his feet to face him.
Sesshomaru shoved Inuyasha and sent him flying out of the dining room into the foyer. Inuyasha's bare feet skated across the freshly waxed wood floor and he just missed slamming into the front door.
He leapt back on his feet then dived at Sesshomaru who made a grab for the knife and succeeded in snatching it from his hands. Sesshomaru tossed it aside and it flew to the floor where it shook making a loud clunking noise against Kagome's precious hardwood floor. Sesshomaru kicked it and once its cord was yanked free of the outlet the knife fell silent.
Sesshomaru spat, “Half wit!” Then he snatched Inuyasha up by his dark hair and slowly lifted him off his feet.
The knife buzzed as Inuyasha lifted his arm and charged his taiyokai brother. Sesshomaru sidestepped the attack but Inuyasha anticipated this and spun on the balls of his feet to face him.
Sesshomaru shoved Inuyasha and sent him flying out of the dining room into the foyer. Inuyasha's bare feet skated across the freshly waxed wood floor and he just missed slamming into the front door.
He leapt back on his feet then dived at Sesshomaru who made a grab for the knife and succeeded in snatching it from his hands. Sesshomaru tossed it aside and it flew to the floor where it shook making a loud clunking noise against Kagome's precious hardwood floor. Sesshomaru kicked it and once its cord was yanked free of the outlet the knife fell silent.
Sesshomaru spat, “Half wit!” Then he snatched Inuyasha up by his dark hair and slowly lifted him off his feet.
Kagome lifted her head in time to see Inuyasha reaching for the turkey platter sitting on the table within his arms reach. `Oh shit, I should've listened to Kim and gone with chicken nuggets', was her only thought before she dropped her cheek back down to the cool wood of the table. Her heart burn was intense and she wondered what on earth she had eaten this morning that hated her so much.
Inuyasha hurled the whole ten pound turkey at Sesshomaru. It missed but whizzed by his head spewing a barrage of turkey juices on the Taiyokai. It couldn't have flown better on it's own even it still possessed both wings. Brown globs of thick turkey fat slid down Sesshomaru's long, perfect silver hair. Bits of stuffing stuck to his once pristine white suit.
Kagome closed her eyes, the ruckus was loud and confusing but there was no mistaking the sickening sound of a solid turkey carcass slamming against the dining room wall.
Kiki hovered in the doorway desperately trying to find a safe path between the crashing bodies to the precious poultry. After all it was the house rule, whatever hit the floor was hers and the turkey and all its glorious pieces were now strewn across her territory. With luck that luscious pumpkin pie would soon follow.
Sesshomaru saw the grease stains on his jacket, cursed Inuyasha's illegitimate birth, and then dropped him to attend to his white suit coat that was beyond any hope of salvaging. Inuyasha laughed as he landed on his feet, then backed up, promptly tripped over Kiki and fell hard on his ass. The force from his fall shook the dinning room and the china plates rattled in their hutch.
Kiki, outraged by the guest's attack on her beloved owner, stood in the door barking.
Sesshomaru cut her a cold glare and growled back. She fell to her belly and crawled back into the kitchen. Her turkey could wait.
The pressure in Kagome's belly worsened. `Oh Gods, why the hell did I ever decide to do this?I am the stupidest woman alive.' She was working on a first rate ulcer at this rate.
Inuyasha's hand found a chair leg and he was pulling it towards him with the intent of lobbing it across the room when he noticed Kagome was quiet.
`Why isn't she bitching at us? She should've been screaming bloody hell by now.'
He looked up and saw she was still in her seat behind Sesshomaru with her head down on the table. Suddenly for the first time in his long existence something was more important than showing up his asshole half brother. He stood and walked to her side. “Kagome are you all right?”
Inuyasha hurled the whole ten pound turkey at Sesshomaru. It missed but whizzed by his head spewing a barrage of turkey juices on the Taiyokai. It couldn't have flown better on it's own even it still possessed both wings. Brown globs of thick turkey fat slid down Sesshomaru's long, perfect silver hair. Bits of stuffing stuck to his once pristine white suit.
Kagome closed her eyes, the ruckus was loud and confusing but there was no mistaking the sickening sound of a solid turkey carcass slamming against the dining room wall.
Kiki hovered in the doorway desperately trying to find a safe path between the crashing bodies to the precious poultry. After all it was the house rule, whatever hit the floor was hers and the turkey and all its glorious pieces were now strewn across her territory. With luck that luscious pumpkin pie would soon follow.
Sesshomaru saw the grease stains on his jacket, cursed Inuyasha's illegitimate birth, and then dropped him to attend to his white suit coat that was beyond any hope of salvaging. Inuyasha laughed as he landed on his feet, then backed up, promptly tripped over Kiki and fell hard on his ass. The force from his fall shook the dinning room and the china plates rattled in their hutch.
Kiki, outraged by the guest's attack on her beloved owner, stood in the door barking.
Sesshomaru cut her a cold glare and growled back. She fell to her belly and crawled back into the kitchen. Her turkey could wait.
The pressure in Kagome's belly worsened. `Oh Gods, why the hell did I ever decide to do this?I am the stupidest woman alive.' She was working on a first rate ulcer at this rate.
Inuyasha's hand found a chair leg and he was pulling it towards him with the intent of lobbing it across the room when he noticed Kagome was quiet.
`Why isn't she bitching at us? She should've been screaming bloody hell by now.'
He looked up and saw she was still in her seat behind Sesshomaru with her head down on the table. Suddenly for the first time in his long existence something was more important than showing up his asshole half brother. He stood and walked to her side. “Kagome are you all right?”
Kagome lifted her head and her face was flushed. “I'm okay, I'm just tired and my stomach hurts.”
Inuyasha bit his bottom lip and put a tentative hand on her belly. “Is it?”
She took a deep breath, “No, I'm just tired and my back aches.”
Sesshomaru clicked his tongue against his teeth, “Stupid half breed. You're going to be the death of her.”
“Fuck you.” Inuyasha knelt down beside Kagome and spoke in a softer tone. “Let's get you to the couch.”
She nodded and let him help her to her feet. All and all it was humiliating to have so much trouble pushing herself out of the chair but she was grateful for the assistance.
He held her elbow as though she was an old woman and she brushed him away. “Leave off! I can still walk. I'm just pregnant not handicapped.”
Sesshomaru chuckled at this but Inuyasha ignored him and followed her into the living room. He arranged the couch pillows. Kagome sat down and put her feet up. She rubbed her belly but the baby wasn't moving. `She must be sleeping, though after all that noise I don't know how.'
Sesshomaru entered the room with his jacket folded across his arm. “Let's get this over with while the house is still standing.”
Inuyasha watched his brother with a suspicious eye and whispered in the shell of Kagome's ear, “Are you sure? Do we have to do this?”
Kagome's legs joined in with her back and her head, all aching. She grilled Inuyasha with her eyes, “Yes. And after dinner you so owe me this.”
He shook his head then sat behind her on the arm of the sofa, close enough to protect Kagome but out of reach of her killer glare. “I guess we're ready.”
“Finally,” said Sesshomaru. He stood before them in his stained suit with a pain expression on his face. Then he took a step towards Kagome and his expression softened.
Inuyasha perched uncomfortably on the sofa arm. He wasn't as limber as he used to be but he was still ready.
Sesshomaru addressed Kagome, “As the wife and subsequent mate of the low bred peon that passes for my half blood brother, I give you and this…” his nostrils flared as though he'd detected a rank odor, “child the right to my protection. Traditionally this would mean upon the certain death of your ill chosen spouse you would wed me.”
Inuyasha's fingers dug into the couch upholstery and he audibly ground his teeth. The corner of Sesshomaru's lips turned up slightly at the sight of his rage. “In this case we will over look that stipulation and replace it with a trust fund.”
Kagome was shocked; she hadn't expected or wanted money. “That's nice but we don't need your money.”
Sesshomaru shook his head, “It's already done. All the account lacks is the little spawn's name. I expect to be present at the naming ceremony so I can fulfill the remainder of my duties.”
Kagome swallowed, “Okay…thanks?”
The Taiyokai leaned over her then turned his heads towards Inuyasha and flashed his eyes. “Don't thank me; I didn't do this for you.”
She answered, “I don't care. I… we just needed this. And if I owe it to Rin then that's fine, she was a sweet little girl.”
Sesshomaru was silent for a moment and she saw she'd struck a cord with him. `Who knew he had a heart? Well Inuyasha always thought he did, course he wanted to cut it out but still…'
Kagome's back spasmed and she winced, then her stomach growled ruining the moment. “Did you guys really have to destroy dinner?”
Inuyasha asked, “I can get you something from the fridge if you want.”
She frowned and shot back, “No, I wanted a goddamned turkey dinner. But you two shot that all to hell. Who do you think is cleaning up that mess? Not me.”
Inuyasha slid off the sofa arm and took a step back. Was the angry thing on the couch his Kagome? He thought back to Darryl's words and decided it was the hormones. But then they did wreck the dining room.
Pacification was the answer. “I can wash off the turkey and make you a sandwich.”
Sesshomaru sighed and rolled his eyes obviously thinking, Inuyasha would eat something off the floor.
As if on cue Kiki strolled past the doorway that led to the dining room with half the turkey hanging in her golden jaws. Inuyasha groaned inwardly, `Awww fuck! I'm so screwed.'
To his surprise she turned on Sesshomaru next and was fearless. “And does that trust fund come with an insurance policy to cover the damages incurred at future family functions?”
When he chose not to reply, Kagome looked from the Taiyokai to the former hanyou in disgust. “You two are brothers. Freaking hell, why can't the two of you just get along? Would it kill you? Do you always have to behave as though you are on the feudal Japanese version of fucking Jerry Springer?”
Inuyasha's eyes widened, `Kagome just used the word fuck. She's possessed!' He suddenly found himself missing Miroku and his sutras.
Sesshomaru cocked a silver brow, “I've always felt we were more WWF than Springer.” Damned hanyou, he'd ruined the family honor. They might as well be wrestlers at this point, well on the lighter side at least this time they weren't on national television.
Inuyasha was speechless, since when was his half brother so laid back?
Kagome laughed heartily. “I always thought you were holding out on us. If you would've dropped the stuck up act years ago, Naraku wouldn't have stood a chance.”
Inuyasha's mouth was dry in disbelief. Was this the same woman who'd nailed the Taiyokai point blank with an egg charged with sacred energy? His hand itched for his Tetsusaiga; it was useless to him at this point but still…
Sesshomaru let the comment go and said nothing.
Kagome's face was flush and she was sweating. Inuyasha wanted to get her a glass of water but wasn't comfortable leaving her alone with Sesshomaru.
She winced and tried to turn her head to see the clock on the wall behind the couch. “Inuyasha, how long has it been since you threw the turkey?”
“Fifteen minutes maybe.” He wasn't sure.
Kagome realized her stomach pain was coming in spasms increasing with time and directly connected to the pain in her back. She pushed herself up from the couch. “I was wrong. It's time.”
Inuyasha protested, “It can't be, you still have three weeks to go!”
She shot back, “Didn't you tell me just this morning this baby would come when she wanted to? Well guess what? She's ready!”
Sesshomaru said dryly, “I noticed it hours ago. She reeks of it.”
Inuyasha turned on him demanding, “Well why the fuck didn't you say anything?”
The yokai shrugged, “She's not my mate.”
Inuyasha clenched his fists, “Damn right she's not!”
Kagome rolled her eyes and called from the couch, “Shouldn't we start packing or something? It might be a good idea to call the doctor too. Unless, of course you also want to redecorate the living room with turkey parts before we leave.”
Kiki seemed to think that was a good idea but no one was asking her.
Inuyasha threw open the closet door and pulled out the suitcase Kagome put together weeks ago. He asked Kagome, “What else do I need to do?”
She winced as a stronger contraction took over then replied, “Remember we made a list and put it on the fridge.”
His answer was slightly muffled because he was still in the closet, “Oh yeah.”
He rushed into the kitchen and snatched the list from the fridge. The first item on the list, call Dr. Goodman.
Inuyasha pressed speed dial 6 and the phone rang. He cradled the phone between his head and shoulder and called out to Sesshomaru, “Here! Go start the Jeep.” Then he gave the key ring a blind toss.
Sesshomaru looked up, caught the car keys and headed outside.
Dr. Goodman answered the phone and agreed to meet him at the hospital.
`Okay so what's next on the list?'
2. Put Kiki in the backyard
Inuyasha called, “Kiki!”
The dog came running up to him and he opened the back door and gave her fluffy golden rear a good shove out the door and slammed it behind her.
3. Kagome's socks
`Damnation where did she keep her stupid slipper socks? Ahh yeah, the laundry room.' He dug through the laundry basket and located said socks. `Next!'
4. The Address book and phone numbers.
Inuyasha couldn't locate the little black book.`Hey that shit's in the cell phone and that's already in her purse so scratch that.'
5. Kagome's tea bags.
Inuyasha pulled out a handful of Kagome's favorite chamomile green tea bags and for lack of a better place to put them, shoved them in his jeans pocket. `That's done. Next!'
6. Camera
He found the camera and hung it around his neck where it promptly got tangled in his prayer beads.
7. Her favorite pillow
Inuyasha ran up the stairs two at a time and pulled the pillow from their bed. He flew down the stairs, paused to grab the suitcase and locked the front door behind him.
He tossed the carry on in the back of the Jeep and climbed in the front passenger seat. “Okay let's roll!”
Sesshomaru sat at the wheel with a deadpan expression. “Did you get everything?”
Inuyasha tapped his foot on the car floor trying to wear down his nervous energy. “Yeah, let's go.”
The Taiyokai said slowly, “Are you sure?”
Inuyasha pulled out the list and began reading it aloud. “That's everything, right Kagome?” He turned to look in the back seat and found it…empty.
“OH SHIT! We forgot Kagome!”
Sesshomaru countered, “No you forgot Kagome.”
But Inuyasha was already running back to the house and didn't hear his words.