InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Harsh Changes ❯ Chapter Seven ( Chapter 7 )

Harsh Changes

Chapter 7-Midnight Realizations and Truths

Sango came walking up to Miroku as he sat against the side of the hut. To his surprise InuYasha was walking beside her silently, his eyes filled with so many emotions. He looked defeated and scarred. Not anything like he usually looked.

"InuYasha." Miroku said, greeting him with the sound of surprise.

InuYasha huffed, angrily. What? Did Miroku think he'd run away? Even if he was thinking about it, Sango had been there to slap sense into him. They planned it out that way. That why Sango was sent to tell him. So, why did he sound so damn surprised? Probably because Sango didn't give him more of a beating, maybe because he thought Sango would have to drag him back. Who knows? Who cares?

"Why are you out here?" asked Sango, a bit ticked that he would leave Kagome alone in her unstable condition.

"She asked me to leave." he said, ignoring the biting tone in her voice.

"She's awake?"

"Yes, and still a little upset."

This didn't surprised Sango in the least. She had hoped Kagome wouldn't have woken in till morning or at least in till she got back. It would have been better if she didn't find out everyone knew about her problem like that. It would have been better if she herself had given her the news. Sango was the one she opened to after all. But she was sure the monk handled the situation as best he could.

"InuYasha, are you here to talk to Kagome?" asked the monk.

He nodded; he was afraid Kagome would hear the sound of his voice. He didn't know why it scarred him so. But it did. He didn't even want Sango and Miroku to say his name out loud. He just didn't know any hand signals that would betray that. So, he hoped that she wasn't listening.

"He going to take care of Kagome." added Sango, the statement more of a threat than a declaration.

Miroku looked an InuYasha sternly, trying to read at least some of the emotion running through the hanyou. But InuYasha had chosen to stare at some interesting piece of dirt between his feet instead, hiding his eyes behind a curtain of white hair and shadows.

"Is this your decision or are you only here because Sango told you to be here?"

Sango reacted almost instantly, reaching out for the monk. With her grip on him strong, she slammed him back almost against the wall. But she stopped herself short realizing that Kagome was inside. She didn't need to be frighten more than she was.

"Frankly I don't care if he is only here because of me. He doesn't have a choice in the matter as far as I'm concern." she hissed quietly, so not to disturb Kagome.

"That's not going to do Kagome any good, Sango. If this isn't his own conviction, she'll feel just as helpless as she does now. What sort of relationship is going to be built for the two if it's based on force like that?" he said, breaking away from Sango's iron's grip.

She hadn't thought of that. Her eyes gazed up at InuYasha, who was still finding things more interesting on the ground. Kagome needed him to be there, not just physically, but emotional as well. She needed someone who would help her deal with a child and all the pains that come with it. And no matter how much she tried to beat him into being by Kagome, she couldn't force his heart care for her.

InuYasha shook his head, telling Miroku that it wasn't Sango who had brought him here, but himself. The only answer he was going to give to him. They needed to stop talking about it like he hadn't any say in it. Sango didn't make him come here. She only conveyed the message, made him see the big picture. He was here of his own accord, even if he wanted terrible to be somewhere else.

"Maybe, we should leave them alone, to talk in private."

"What if he says something stupid? I'm not leaving Kag-"

"For crying out loud, Sango, they need to talk through this and you hovering over them, ready to kill him for any little thing that might hurt Kagome isn't going to make the communication process any easier on them."

Her face grew a harsh expression, but she understood. This was something that had to happen between Kagome and InuYasha. It had to happen. And whatever was said had to be said, even if it hurt. Didn't mean she was happy about it. In fact, it made her burn with angry.

The monk stood up and began to walk away, not bothering to wait for Sango. She would come. Sango gave InuYasha one more threatening glance, which he didn't see from the dark forest of his bangs, before following after the monk. InuYasha looked toward the hut, realizing what he had to do next. He let out a breath to steady himself. This wasn't going to be easy.

Kagome didn't sleep for the rest of the night. Her mind was too busy with thought. She just sat there in the dark, occasionally listening to the monk who chose to sit right outside. The night seemed strangely silent, as if the very woods were afraid Kagome would have a fit again.

It wasn't like Kagome didn't try to sleep. She did, but how could she drift to sleep when she knew what was going to happen. She had work so hard to try and keep her baby. All InuYasha would have to say is that he didn't want it and she'd give in. She'd go home and let them destroy the well.

It wasn't fair, just so unfair. No matter how much she wanted the baby, no matter how much it would kill her to destroy it, it was in InuYasha's hands. Four words would be all it would take.

"I don't want it."

She crossed her arms defensively around her. What else could she do? If InuYasha abandon her, how would she take care of it? But this wasn't the life he wanted. He loved Kikyou. The fact that Kagome was pregnant wasn't going to change that. But it would put a kink in his plan. InuYasha couldn't help her raise a child from the depths of hell.

Suddenly, she heard commotion outside. There was Sango's voice, then Miroku's. She didn't bother to ease drop, she knew it was about her and she wasn't in the mood to hear it. Some dialogue happened, nothing that really concerned her. She just let the sounds drown into nothing.

The voices ended. Then she heard two pairs of footsteps walking away. They had left, Sango and Miroku. She wondered where they were going. It didn't bother her enough to have another thought about it. Then she heard a knock. Her mind fumbled a little, she did hear two footsteps walking away, didn't she? Who was here? The knock came again, a little louder.

"Who is it?" she asked, feeling a bit put out, why was her mind playing tricks on her?

"It's me." the voice whispered from behind the door hanging.

She felt her breath catch in her throat. InuYasha. He was here. The floor dipped downward. She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to face him. For a moment she debated telling him to just go away. But he didn't wait for it. Instead, he walked in timidly. Keeping his distance from her, treating her like a dangerous snake he must stay out of reach of, otherwise it would kill him.

"Kagome." he said softly, his voice low and terrified sounding.

She looked at him. He was here to tell her he didn't want it. He didn't want her baby and that she should just go home and kill it. She tightens her grip around herself, as if he was going to try and rip the baby from her right here in this dark room. A heavy sign escaped loudly through her teeth.

There was no avoiding it. She would have to hear it sooner or later. And too much later would be too late. This was for the best, she told herself, using her mother's words. It was better she knew now. Better not to live a lie. No one wanted the baby, no one but Kagome.

- - - - - - - - - -

Sango threw the sword into InuYasha's face. Kagome heard it, more than saw it. He grunted in pain, and then let a low growl out before he went silent. For a moment nothing happened and a part of her feared it had failed. Then, he felt him shaking.

"Kagome."

Her name had never sounded so disgusting to her before. He stumbled away from her. She felt her body curl up in a ball completely on its own. Tears slipped past her lids without her permission. It was over. That was all she could think. It was over.

"What have I done?" he said, the words breaking through her own loud thoughts.

Despite herself, her first instinct was to try and comfort him. He was so upset. But her mind also quickly recalled the events that had just taken place. Fear, a fear she had never held before toward InuYasha, gripped her heart so tightly she cried out. It was so incredible cold. Suddenly she felt warmth against her and she panicked, thinking it was him. But she opened her eyes to see Sango. Sango separated from Kagome for a moment, searching for the closest thing to cover her. She found InuYasha's firerat coat. Kagome was surprised how quickly it returned her body heat to her. Sango also chunked some article of clothing at InuYasha.

"Cover yourself." She demanded.

Kagome buried her face into Sango's shoulder. It was over. It was finally over.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Kagome" he said, ashamed how weak his voice sounded.

How he got himself this far was beyond him. The terrible guilt welded up in him threatening to over take him. What was he doing here? What right did he have to even look at her again? Even if he was forced here, he felt as if he wasn't allowed to be in the same room.

She basically looked at him like she was going to throw up. Was he that disgusting to her? A dreaded silence stretched between the two, but InuYasha had come here to tell her something. He had to take responsibility for this. This was his problem, and he would just have to take care of it. She let out a pained sign.

"Kagome." he repeated.

"InuYasha." her voice was almost not there. "I guess you know about-about . . ."

"Yeah, I do."

Another silence had found its way into the little hut.

"InuYasha, if you don't want me to have the baby I won't."

He jerked up in surprise. What did she mean won't have the baby? The last time he checked she really didn't have much of a choice in the matter. She wasn't looking at him; she was starring at the floor.

"What do you mean?" he asked, honestly confused.

"In my time, there is a way to get rid of the baby. If that's what you want, I'll do it."

Get rid of the baby? She can get rid of the baby and she's here? Why? Why would she come here if she could fix the problem herself? She can get rid of his unworthy spawn. Unless. Unless she came here to keep the baby. She wanted to keep the child. Is that even possible? Can she actually want it when he had raped her?

"Kagome is that what you want?" he said, wanting her to verbalize what he thought.

"I-I-I . . . It's up to you." her eyes darted up.

"I want you to be happy."

"I'll be happy if you're happy."

InuYasha lowered his head. She wasn't going to tell him. Her voice broke and cracked exposing the emotion beneath it. Even if she didn't say it out loud, he could hear it in her voice. He opened his mouth, trying to get her to say it out loud. He didn't want to think it was just something he saw, and if he was wrong, what a mistake. But she looked down at her thighs, breaking the connection.

This wasn't getting them anywhere. They could go on for hours in this circle. No, something more productive had to be done. InuYasha looked back up at the shivering girl. He was the cause of this. He was the reason she was in this state. So, avoiding the truth wasn't right.

She was leaving it in his hands, to decide whether or not to have the child. She wouldn't be here if she, herself, didn't want the child, she would have put her vote in. If she wanted it, if she wants to build this life, then she'll have him to help her. It's the least he can do.

"Kagome, I'll take care of you and the baby."