InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Heart's Landfill ❯ A Heart's Desperate Plea ( Chapter 42 )

A/N: As always all characters will be walking that fine line called OOCness. Alright guys, I want to apologize for the long wait, but before I posted this chapter I wanted to knock out a few more chapters since I was starting to catch up with myself. Thus far, I have finished up to chapter 47 and I'm 5 pages into 48, so we're good for a while, right? (lol) This is going to probably be the last chapter posted until after the New Year, so enjoy and please don't forget to review. However, if the reviews are the way they were for the last chapter, I might just have to lock myself away and update again…lol. Just in case this is it for 2008, let me say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! That said, thanks for all of your wonderful reviews and continued support, my friends. And to my brilliant beta, Neko, love you lots, and happy early birthday!!

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership to anyone with the exception of Nya, Nola, Dinshu, Dr. Aikio, Takira, and Gage. All others belong to the wonderful and inspiring Rumiko Takahashi.

Chapter 42:

A Heart's Desperate Plea

Sesshomaru stared down at the weeping woman, his youkai recoiling violently away from her, knowing that she wasn't his mate.

He'd started to push her away, but there was something in her aura that was so damaged and desperate that he realized she would have truly fallen apart had he done that.

He hadn't expected this as he ended his phone call with Jakken, but the moment she came bursting through the double doors and into the waiting room with tears streaming down her face, while wiping feverishly at her eyes, he froze.

Under normal circumstances, he would have turned and high-tailed it in the opposite direction, but when he noticed whom it was, he felt more than a little obligated to at least hang around momentarily to make sure-from a far-that she was alright.

What he hadn't expected, was for her to barrel directly into him. Hell, he wasn't even standing directly in front of her. She was like a heat seeking missile, believe it or not, and before he knew what hit him, there she was twisting her fists into his shirt and burying her face in his chest as she continued to sob.

As he glanced up, away from her trembling shoulders, and around at the scarce occupants of the waiting room, who were all looking at the two of them. His eyes connected with that of a wolf youkai, who was standing over by the information desk.

The youkai seemed to be showing just a little too much interest in the crying woman, and perhaps it was for that reason that he'd reluctantly brought his hands to her hips and steadied her; never once taking his eyes off the demon with the light blue eyes that stood there, staring at her back with a despicable goofy grin on his face.

Narrowing his eyes, Sesshomaru watched as the wolf youkai slowly pulled his cell phone from his pocket, flipped it open, and then turned back to the woman behind the desk.

The dog demon didn't really know what to make of that, but for the briefest of moments, he was glad that he was there to shelter her from the entirely too attentive wolf. Well, he was glad until she sniffled and ran her nose across the front of his shirt.

Disgusting, he thought as he watched his younger brother burst into the room via the same doors that Higurashi had come through moments earlier.

He couldn't say exactly why, but for some reason, he wasn't actually surprised at the amount of raw emotion that filled his brother's aura as he eyed the two of them furiously.

He'd known that they had some sort of chemistry between them, but it wasn't until he'd caught Rin on the phone with Higurashi the night before-at three in the morning-that he realized exactly how much of a connection they actually had.

As Inuyasha hesitantly neared them, Sesshomaru was able to read his emotions as if it was an open book before him. He realized quite quickly that his brother cared for the woman more than he was probably ready, or willing to admit.

He'd felt Inuyasha's youkai rear up against his own violently, silently demanding that he release her, but he was sure that his brother wasn't aware that it even occurred.

The look in his eyes, the pain that was hidden behind the confusion of what was happening in his mind was such a palpable thing, that Sesshomaru knew the truth even if Inuyasha didn't.

One eyebrow quirked higher than the other, he queried silently as the hanyou took a few slow steps towards them, Does he have a clue?

Schooling his features, the full demon questioned passively, “Is this yours?” He wasn't exactly sure how he expected his brother to answer that, but he had to admit that his response did give him just a tad bit of relief.

“Ye…yeah, she's mine.”

Dropping his hands from Kagome's hips, Sesshomaru gently removed her hands from his shirt, forcing her to finally look up at him.

He knew from the look of utter shock and horror on her face as she stared up at him that she was beyond embarrassed, but he ignored it as he turned her to face Inuyasha, who pulled her to him so fast that he was sure that Higurashi didn't have a clue as to what was happening around her.

Stepping back, Sesshomaru glanced in the direction of where the wolf demon was still standing as he spoke quietly to his brother, “If this is your handiwork, Inuyasha, I would suggest that you fix it, quickly.”

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his unusually wrinkled slacks, Sesshomaru watched as his brother reached up and wiped away a few errant tears that were trailing down Higurashi's face.

Scowling at the two of them, he silently promised himself that if Rin ever embarrassed him in such a manner in public, he'd leave her there to drown in a sea of her own creation.

As he turned and started back towards the elevators that would take him to his mate and sons, Sesshomaru glanced down at the front his shirt and hissed with disdain, “Revolting indeed!”

Simonkal of Inuy

Kagome stared up at Inuyasha, unable to believe that he was actually there. His soft fingers brushed against her cheek as he gazed down at her; his eyes soft, sad, and trying desperately to tell her something that her mind wouldn't let her comprehend.

His closeness, his tenderness; it was too much…just too much for her to bear at the moment. No, he…he shouldn't be here. It's over! It's over, she hissed silently, as she quickly stepped back from him and tried to regain her composure.

It wasn't working, because with every step that she took backwards, he took two forward, attempting to hold on to her, to bring her back into his comforting arms.

She shook her head as another wash of tears tried to fall, and she bit out angrily, more at herself than him, “No!”

The hanyou stopped, stared at her and willed his heart to stop racing. He had to make her understand! He had to make her see that he was…that he was…lost! He needed her to understand that he knew he was a jackass, and a son of a bitch, but if she gave him a chance, he could fix it!

“I'm…I'm sorry, Kagome. I'm sorry and…and I'm stupid.”

She took another step back away from him, wanting not to have heard him, but knowing that she had.

“No,” she mumbled, her tears blurring her vision. “No, I… No, I…I can't do this,” she murmured as she turned and tried to run. The feel of his hand wrapping possessively around her own, stopped her dead in her tracks.

Inuyasha could feel his heart breaking as if it was sitting on a counter being bashed with a hammer. Her words, he couldn't accept them, didn't want to accept them!

“Don't…don't leave like this, Kagome,” he pleaded earnestly, stepping back up to her. “Don't… I…” Takahashi stared at her as she stared back at him, her eyes telling him that her heart wanted to listen, but her head was telling her, demanding that she protect herself. “I…damn, Kagome. Just…Just don't do this, please,” he whispered sadly.

Kagome continued to look up at him. There was so much pain in his eyes, so much honesty in his words that she wanted to reach out to him, to hold him and tell him that she'd always be there, but she couldn't.

She'd already done that so much with Kouga and look where it got her. She'd set her feelings aside and actually believed that she could love someone enough for the both of them, but…but…she wasn't that naïve anymore; she just wasn't that person! At least, she didn't want to be.

She hung her head, her hand coming up to gently grasp his hand that was holding her in place. Sighing heavily, she reigned in her emotions as best she could. “Let me go, Inuyasha. Please…please just let me go,” she silently begged unable to look back up at him. “I've made a fool of myself for long enough, don't you think?”

“Kagome,” he whined sympathetically, unknowingly releasing her hand. And in that moment she turned and bolted through the waiting room, through the double doors, and from his sight, leaving him standing there utterly dumbfounded.

Inuyasha couldn't move, he couldn't think pass her, passed what he wanted, what he needed! He couldn't let her walk away from him!

He knew that the prideful part of him was begging him to just turn and walk away, thereby salvaging what little respect he had left. After all, she'd just basically said that she didn't want to be with him, didn't she?

Still, he couldn't do it! He couldn't let her go! He couldn't…he couldn't walk away.

He knew that people were standing around watching them closely and in their eyes, he probably looked like a complete and utter fool that probably deserved to be tossed to the wayside, but he didn't care. He didn't care what any of them thought! All he knew, all he could feel was his soul pulling him…tugging him forcefully behind her.

I…I don't want her, he deduced slowly. I need her. I need her in my life…my bed…my world. I don't want her there, but...but I need her there.

Inuyasha could feel it in the darkened crevices of his soul. Without her, he was nothing, he'd be nothing. No matter how much money he had, or how many material things he accumulated, he knew that if he didn't have her in his life in some form, he had zilch…he was nobody.

Starting off in a slow walk, he quickly picked up speed until he broke into a full out sprint, heading in the direction that she'd gone. He knew she hadn't gone far because her scent was thick in the hallways he passed swiftly thru.

“Kagome!” he shouted coming to a stop in front of an elevator filled with doctors and the woman he desperately needed to speak with. As the doors started to close, he locked eyes with her, begging her to just listen, but it…it was too late. The doors closed; she was gone.

Slapping his hands hard against the steel elevator doors, he shouted again desperately, “Kagome!!” as a feeling of rejection swallowed him whole.

Simonkal of Inuy

Kagome felt like she was hyperventilating, she couldn't breathe, couldn't think. He was so hurt. His eyes were filled with such desperation and pain. The way he pleaded with her to stay, to not leave him…to just listen to him.

I…I did the right thing, she tried to tell herself. I did the right thing. It wouldn't have worked. It never-

She choked back a soft sob as she stepped backwards, her back pressing against the wall of the elevator, praying that the doors would just open on the first floor so that she could get to her car.

She knew the other people in the moving box were looking at her, but she didn't care. They could all go to hell!

“Don't…don't do this,” she heard his voice echoing in her head and it only served to cause her chest to heave as she struggled to hold on to what little sanity she had left.

Those words…those four little words were enough to break her resolve, weren't they?

They were enough to make her want to just forget that she wasn't good enough, that she'd never be good enough. Those words were enough to make her want to accept the fact that she would never be good enough, because as long as she was still in his life…his world…then it would be okay. Those damnable words…his words were enough to make her forget that she needed to protect her heart because no else would.

No, I can't! Not for him, not for anyone! I can't make a fool of myself again! I…I just can't! I'm sorry Takahashi. I'm so…sorry.

The elevator doors opened and closed, people got on and off, but she didn't see them, didn't care to see them as she tried to disappear into the corner of the elevator and lose herself in her mind.

As much as she wanted to run from him, as much as she tried to make herself believe that this was the right thing to do, she still wanted to run to him as well. And no, she didn't fully believe that this was the right thing to do either.

Maybe it's not the right thing, but it's the only thing that I can do.

It didn't make sense! She'd never felt anything like this before! She'd never felt this confused, this inebriated, or this lost! Not with Kouga, not with anyone!

No one had ever managed to get so far under her skin in the manner that he had! No one had ever gotten as deeply incrusted in her mind and her heart as he had! And so swiftly, so effortlessly that she hadn't even seen it happening!

She felt like she was addicted to him. She felt like she was suffocating without him, yet she was drowning with him. It was almost as if he was the air to her lungs or the warden at her prison, or maybe she was the moth to his flame. Whatever it was; it felt like she was only half of a whole.

He…they complimented each other in such a way that she knew, even though she would always and forever deny it, there would be no others after him.

It has to be this way! It has to be this way, she told herself repeatedly in hopes that one day-preferably sooner than later-she'd believe it.

The doors opened and she glanced up at the button that was lit, before she stepped off and quickly made her way to the glass doors that led to the parking lot.

Digging into her purse, she quickly retrieved her keys, paying little attention to the demon that exited the elevator right behind her, a grin on his face, his hands shoved deep in his pockets as he eyed her backside sinisterly.

Running her hand down her face, Kagome pushed the door open and stepped out into the bright sunlight.

I'll go home to Kyoto for awhile. I'll…I'll go see my family, she told herself, not realizing that she was reacting to this separation in the same manner she'd reacted to her and Kouga's disastrous break-up.

Scanning the parking lot quickly, she turned and headed towards her car, her heart racing within her chest while her blood pulsated swiftly through her veins as if she was being chased.

That's what I'll do, and when I come back he'll have forgotten about me. He'll have moved on, because what we had-he'll realize-was never a relationship to begin with.

Hitting the unlock button, she quickly opened her car door and climbed in, determined to get as far away from this place and him as she could and with as much speed as she was capable of.

Jamming her key in the ignition, she cranked her car and spared just a moment to throw her purse on the passenger seat.

It's better this way. It has to be better this way. And eventually he'll understand that. He'll…he'll see that this was never going to work.

Sighing heavily, she gripped the steering wheel with one hand and shifted the car into reverse as she lifted her head and came eye to eye with a demon that was casually strolling by, his attention focused intently on her.

She blinked, shook her head, and started to press on the gas as she tore her attention away from the youkai and towards her rearview mirror only to gasp in shock.

Inu…yasha?

There he was, both his hand pressing on her trunk as if he could hold her in place. His golden eyes pleaded with her to just listen, to just let him talk to her for a minute.

Simonkal of Inuy

Inuyasha glanced away from her and up at a youkai that he realized he'd seen before, but in the frame of mind that he was in, he couldn't focus his mind strongly enough to remember where he knew him from.

Turning his attention back to the woman…his primary goal, he silently pleaded with her to listen to him…to please give him a few minutes of her time to just explain.

He had taken the steps 7 at time, raced through half of the massive parking lot looking for her car, and almost got ran over by more than a few trucks. But none of that mattered, none of it. Because in the end, he'd found her.

He watched her look at him, sadness and uncertainty filling her eyes, and he couldn't stop himself, he couldn't make himself stop the whine that escaped him as he prayed dejectedly, Please…please just…just make her…. Just make her listen to me. Please.

As if his prayer was being answered, he felt her car shift as she put it back into park, and he sighed as he pushed back off of the car and stepped over to the driver's side door. At first, he didn't think she was going to unlock it, but as soon as he heard the soft click of the locks, hope soared inside of him.

Opening the door, he held out a hand for her to take.

Kagome stared at his open hand. She didn't know why she put the car back into park; she didn't understand why she unlocked the car door, or even why she was putting herself through this misery.

Nothing was going to change; nothing would be any different from the night before. She…she still wasn't good enough, she knew this, and still as he held out his hand to her and she took it, she found it almost impossible to stop herself.

Inuyasha pulled her out the car and stepped back, shutting the door. She looked down, to the side, and at everything but him, and he couldn't blame her even if he wanted too.

Now that it seemed like she was at least willing to listen, he just didn't know exactly where to start or what to say.

Just tell her, idiot! Just tell her how you feel, he berated himself as he took another half step back from her and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Why…why won't you let me go, Inuyasha,” she asked quietly. “Why do you keep doing this?”

It hurt to hear her softly uttered question, but he wasn't about to let it go so easily. “God knows I want to let you go, Kagome, but I…I don't…I don't think I know how to,” he began, still not looking at her. “Just the thought of you… Just the thought…” He scuffed his shoe against the cement in a childish manner, and finished, “It scares the shit out of me, Kagome. It's…it's the only thing that has ever really scared me.”

She looked up at him, a part of her overjoyed while the more sensible part of her shouted at her to not fall for his measured words. How many times had she and Kouga talked like this? How many times had he told her what she wanted to hear only to disappoint her?

As she continued to look at him, she realized that unlike Kouga, there was no smile, no grin on his lips, or in his eyes-there was no deceit. The only thing she saw was pain. She saw an ache that swam so deep that she had to wonder if she was really the cause of it.

“I'm sorry, I left you like that this morning, but after last night, I didn't-“

Inuyasha cut her off, “You had every right to do that! I… What I said last night… What I did afterwards… I was a bastard, Kagome. I was a prick, and you deserve so much better than that. I'm…I'm sorry.”

She looked at him, her eyes wide. “So you're not upset about-“

“Gods no! To be honest, after last night, I don't even deserve to be standing here talking to you now, but…I'm glad that you stopped. I'm glad that you decided to give me a chance to explain.”

Kagome leaned back against her car, her hands folded behind her back. Sure, this was nice and all, but it still didn't change anything. The truth was irrefutable, wasn't it? No matter how much talking they did, she still wasn't going to be good enough. This, what they had, what they shared, just wasn't going to work.

“I…I want you to understand something,” he stated softly, looking away from her. “I… Last night when I said what I said, I wasn't…I wasn't trying to say or even insinuate that you weren't good enough to be with me, Kagome. If anything, I'm not good enough for you, not by a long shot.”

“It's okay, Inuyasha. You don't have to explain yourself. I was being stupid, really,” she responded with a nervous dry giggle. “I just forgot for a moment that we were just sex buddies is all. I…I shouldn't have put you in that situation.” She glanced up at him as he ran his hand down his face exasperatedly. “Last night you just made me realize that I…” She stammered, and then tried again, “You made me realize that even though I like being with you like that; it's not healthy for me.”

“Kagome, don't-” he tried to say, but she cut him off.

“No, Takahashi. I've thought about this a lot last night and again this morning, and I can't…we can't continue whatever this is. Regardless of what was said or meant last night. We…we just can't,” she finished, pushing up off her car.

She looked away from him, unable to believe that she was actually saying the things that needed to be said. Of course, it was doing nothing to aid in his heartbreak, but she knew that eventually he'd get over it. They always did, didn't they?

It's better this way, she thought, turning and reaching for her door handle, but his quick movements stopped her.

“Why, Kagome?” he questioned urgently as his hand pressed against the hood and door of her car, keeping her from opening it. “I…I said I was sorry. I said I didn't mean it. Why, Kagome? What else do you need me to say? What else do you want me to do?”

She sighed heavily as she tried to stave back the moisture that wanted to fall. “Does it really matter? When you really sit down and think about it, Inuyasha, does it matter?”

“Yes!” he bellowed, causing her to jump and spin around to face him. “It fucking matters to me!”

She glared at him, but not because she was angry with him, but because he'd scared the living shit out of her. “We can't, because I've done this before!” she shouted back, but clamped down when she saw him cringe and step back away from her.

“You've…what?”

She shook her head, not wanting to say anymore, but deciding quickly that maybe if she did, maybe he'd be able to see where she was coming from.

“I've never told you about this, but…but my past relationship was with a youkai. I wasted two years of my life with him before I finally found out that I wasn't the one for him. I'd always thought that he and I would be together; at least that's what he'd said. But then…but then one night, I found out that while he and I were together, he married another youkai, because I wasn't…I wasn't good enough, because I was just…a human. I can't do that again, Inuyasha, and I'm just glad that you told me the truth last night.”

Inuyasha growled low. “Did he tell you, you weren't good enough?” he questioned simply wanting to know so that if he ever ran into that freak, he'd have one more plausible reason to bash his fucking head in.

“Well no, but he did comment about my being just a human.”

He heard her, and he understood clearly why she was saying what she was, but he still couldn't see passed what he wanted. He couldn't accept that she was still trying to end it. Didn't she understand that he hadn't meant it? Didn't she understand that… Shit, didn't she understand that he wanted to be with her, and that he was not that prick?

“So, then because you say we're done, we're done? It doesn't matter what I want, right? I don't have any say in this, is that what you're telling me, Kagome?”

“Inuyasha, I just told you why I can't do this. I told you-“

He cut her off and snapped, “I heard what you fucking said, but I'm not him, damn it!”

Kagome growled at him, upset at the idea that he didn't seem to be listening to her. “No, you're not him, but at least he had the decency to make me his girlfriend! But you…you just want a commitment free fuck!”

The moment those words left her mouth she regretted them instantaneously. She hadn't meant to say that! She honestly, hadn't, but there wasn't a damn thing that she could do now.

How juvenile am I? To throw up in his face that he didn't make me his girlfriend… Gah, what the fuck is wrong with me?

“Wow,” the hanyou mumbled as he stared down at her. Everything in him told him that this was the point at which he walked away. His mind screamed at him that some things just weren't meant to be; it shouted at him to just let sleeping dogs lie-this relationship was over before it even began. But his feet… wouldn't move, and his heart still wasn't willing to give up so easily.

So…so she's saying that I'm worse than him, he thought sullenly as he stared at her, trying to figure out exactly how this conversation had gone so awry. I don't want to argue with her. I just…I just want us to get back to the way we were. The rest of this drivel can be dealt with at a later time; its…its not what's fucking important!

“Inuyasha, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said-”

Cutting her off, the hanyou affirmed with a deep scowl, “Everything you just said is the truth.” He licked his lips and stepped back away from her as he continued, “It's ugly, and it hurts to hear you say that, but it's the truth.”

“Inuyasha, I didn't… It's not-” she tried again apologetically.

Shaking his head, the hanyou frowned and decided that he would be as honest as possible with her. He decided that he'd let his mouth move and hopefully something that came out would be enough to make her understand why he was the way he was. And maybe if the gods were watching them, they'd make her give him another chance.

Glancing at her quickly, he declared sternly, his voice leaving no room for objections, “I want you to listen to me, and once I'm done if you decide that this is it; that I'm not or we're not worth it, then all I can do is accept that. But I want you to listen to me clearly, Kagome, because I think there is something you're not totally understanding about me.” Stepping just a little closer to her, he questioned, his head down and his golden irises focused keenly on her, “Can you just listen for one second?”

Inuyasha, it's not…it's not going to make a difference one way or the other, she wanted to say, but instead she sighed and nodded her head in agreement.

“When Kikyo, my ex, left me the night of our wedding, I was so numb, Kagome, that I thought I was dying from the inside out,” he started softly, his hands shoved in his pockets. Staring down at the ground, he kicked at an invisible rock and continued, “I was furious, humiliated, and depressed. I felt used and I felt worthless. I felt like…I had no reason to go on. I felt like I had no reason to believe in anything or anyone, and to be honest, I didn't want to.”

“Inuyasha, you don't have to-”

He shook his head and ignored her. “Weeks went by before I was able to the actually pull myself together enough to leave my house. It took months for me to truly get my life halfway back in order, Kagome. And when I finally was able to get some semblance of normalcy back, I promised myself… I swore on my parent's graves that I'd never ever be that stupid, or that trusting, or that naive again.”

Inuyasha, she silently whispered, but did not interrupt.

He lifted his head and looked at her as if internalizing something. “And then I met you.” He smiled ruefully at her before continuing, “At first, I tried to avoid you like you were the black plague. I tried to pretend that you were no different from any other woman that I ran into on the street.”

He shook his head and snorted out a half laugh. “Then I tried to make myself believe that it was okay for us to just be friends, because, well, I just wanted to be around you. Then you kissed me, and miraculously, I talked myself into believing that I could have sex with you without any feelings getting involved.” He stared up at the sky, a content smile on his face as if he was playing through his memories of her. “That was a battle I lost long before it even started,” he whispered softly.

“Inuyasha, what...what are you saying?” Kagome questioned softly.

He turned his attention back to her, gnawed thoughtfully on his bottom lip, and looked away as if he needed to gather the courage to say what was coming. “I tried, God knows I tried and even as I stand here before you now, I'm still trying to tell myself that if I tried hard enough, I could forget you ever existed. I…I could go back to my life before I even knew you existed.” He glanced down, shook his head and sighed as he looked back up at her. “I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to have to try to forget you. I don't want to…to know what it's like to have never known you.”

Kagome shook her head and stepped back until she bumped into her car, she couldn't believe what she was hearing. He couldn't be for real. This… No, he couldn't be saying what she thought he was.

“Inuyasha, you're not… Oh, God,” she hissed as she lifted her hand to cover her mouth. “I'm not… We can't… You can't be saying what I think you're saying.”

Inuyasha stepped towards her, his chest heavy as his heart hammered against his rib cage. Honestly, he wasn't sure if he was ready for a relationship…a real relationship with anyone, but what he was sure of was that if he was going to try it with anyone; she would be the only one.

“I understand that you've been hurt in the past, Kagome, but so have I. I can't stand here and promise you forever, because I don't know what tomorrow holds. But what I can promise you is that every day that we are together, I'll do my damndest to make sure you never feel like you're not good enough. I can't even stand here and tell you that I'm in love with you without it sounding forced or cheesy.” He grunted out something caught between a laugh and a sigh as he continued, “Hell, I wouldn't even believe me if I said something like that at this point, but…”

Inuyasha inhaled and exhaled slowly as he continued, “I want a chance to find out, Kagome. I want to find out if this chemistry that we have could develop into love, I want to know if my meeting you was destiny or just a mistake, and I want…I want a chance to show you that I'm not as big of an ass as you probably think I am.”

Her heart palpitated within her chest.

Is he saying that he wants to be with me? Is he saying that he wants… Just the thought was enough to make her want to jump into his arms, but she'd done that before! She'd heard the promises and the sorrowful words before, hadn't she? And she'd fell for them all.

She looked away from him and at the ground as she tried to wipe away the moisture that was building behind her eyes.

“Inuyasha, we can't. You…you know we can't. I'm not ready. You're… After what you told me, you know you're not ready,” she whispered unable to meet his gaze.

A slight frown formed at the corners of his mouth as he stared at her. He knew he'd said everything he could…everything that he'd been trying to deny for so long. So then what was really left for him to say?

The hanyou smiled contritely and shrugged his shoulders as he stated evenly, “I know I'm not ready, but I also know that if I don't try, I'll never be ready. I'll keep living in the past, and I can honestly say that since I met you and started this friendship with you, I don't live in that past nearly as much as I use to.”

Kagome slowly lifted her eyes to his somber face. She knew the words that were flowing thoughtfully from his mouth were heartfelt and had to be difficult for him to say.

She'd been standing here partly wanting to believe that he was just saying what he thought she wanted to hear to get her back into his bed, but that wasn't it at all. He meant what he was saying; he meant every word of it.

So what, he wasn't promising her forever. Hell, she couldn't even promise him that. And even though she knew…had accepted the fact that she loved him, no, she couldn't stand there either and tell him that she was head over heels in love with him, but she realized that maybe she did want the chance-like he did-to find out.

He wasn't asking her to come back to his bed as special friends, he was asking her to be his… He was asking her to give him…them another chance…a real chance at a real relationship. But did she truly want that?

Intertwining her fingers in front of her, she questioned curiously, “And you discovered that you felt this way this morning?”

He snorted derisively. “No, I've felt this way for a while, but even though we weren't in a relationship, I still had you in my life so I didn't need to face it or deal with it. Well, I didn't have to deal with it until this morning. Not until I realized that you really had no desire to be with me any longer.”

She fidgeted with her door handle, and then crossed her arms beneath her bountiful breasts as she tried to come to some kind of decision.

“What makes me so different, Inuyasha? Why…why would you decide to try with me? I'm nobody. I'm…I'm short tempered, I'm jealous, I'm selfish at times, and I have trust issues. I have major trust issues, you know that,” she stated making sure to stress the last part.

He shook his head and stared at her as he cogitated over her words. “I know you're not perfect, and I don't expect you to be. Hell, if you were, I probably wouldn't be interested in you at all. You're just as flawed and bruised as I or the next person, but it doesn't change who you are to me.” He shrugged feeling as if he was rambling. “I don't know. I just know that it feels right. For once, it just feels right,” he whispered more to himself than to her.

It does feel right, doesn't it? It's felt right from the beginning, but I was so jaded, so skeptical, she pondered as she smiled to herself. “And because it feels right, you're willing to try…for me?” she queried skeptically.

“I've denied the possibilities for so long, Kagome, that it's honestly the only thing left to do,” he retorted softly as he turned his gaze towards the sky above. “But, you have to want to try too, or it won't work.”

He was disgustingly beautiful, she realized not for the first time. As she stared at him, the sun bathing his skin in a honey glow, causing his long silver mane to shimmer as if it were woven strands of the finest metals sent down from the heavens. Everything about the man bespoke power, he oozed confidence when it was necessary, and could be sillier than a jester if the situation called for it.

Why would he want to try with me? she questioned idly as she continued to stare at him. He slowly turned his golden orbs to hers. There was such sadness there, such a finite decision where she was concerned that she found it hard to look away.

Try? I can… I would… I'd like to try for him…with him; I'd like to try, just once more, but only with him.

She moved slowly towards him, her long slender fingers reaching desperately. Her hand brushed over his shoulder that was closest to her and her mouth moved…whispered, “I'd…I'd like to try once more.”

The hanyou gazed down at her, an astonished look on his face, but as her words floated to him in whispers of lives long past, he smiled, reached out, and pulled her to him, crushing her against his chest.

In that moment the peace that fell over him…the feeling of serenity that rose up from the pit of his stomach and wove its way through every organ and capillary of his body caused his soul to rumble soothingly.

He felt her lift her arms and wrap them around him and his smile grew as he buried his nose in her hair and inhaled strongly. She lifted her head and he lowered his, brushing his lips across hers timelessly, savoring the taste of her.

One last try. One real try, he thought appreciatively.

Kagome pulled away slightly only to close in again deepening their kiss as a sigh escaped her and she allowed her body to fall into his so that he was holding the both of them up.

He's worth it, isn't he? He's worth whatever the outcome will be.

Neither would ever know this, but at that very moment a tall, lithe, white haired demon was standing at the window of his mates' hospital room holding his two new-born pups while watching their interaction with a very uncharacteristic smile on his face. And he had been watching the entire time.

As the kiss broke, Kagome sighed again and smiled up at Inuyasha, who was staring down at her with a look in his eyes that whispered promises to her that he wasn't ready to vocalize. It told her that as long as she was with him…as long as she gave this relationship her all, he'd do the same, and it left her feeling more than a little breathless.

“When you stop looking at me like that, it's seriously over,” she declared softly.

Licking his lips, Inuyasha grinned cheekily. “I'll make sure I keep that in mind.”

He was relieved, elated, and so emotionally drained from their talk and from chasing her around this massive hospital that all he wanted to do now was disappear for a few days with her. He wanted to take her-he didn't care where-and just…just make-up with her the entire time, but he knew that that wasn't a possibility, because even though this issue was resolved, per se, there was still more than a few issues that he…that they would need to attend to.

Tonight, I'll tell her, he decided finitely. I have to tell her tonight.

Laying her head against his chest once more, Kagome closed her eyes and listened as his heart strummed quietly as if whispering his deepest darkest secrets to her.

“Inuyasha, so…what are we now?”

Stepping over to the hood of her car, he pulled her along so that she was standing between his legs as he leaned against the automobile. “I've never really liked those two words, you know? They just seem so juvenile and sort of childish, don't you think?”

Kagome stared up at him, a quizzical frown on her face. “What; boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Yeah, even hearing you say them now makes me feel like I'm in high school or something,” he responded, his hands resting comfortably on her hips.

Kagome tried to step back out of his grasp, but he held her in place. “So, you mean to tell me that you went through all of that, to say you wanted to be with me, but without labels?”

Grinning, Inuyasha leaned forward and kissed her on the tip of her nose. “I really don't like those two words, but for you…” He kissed her lips once, twice, three times. “I can learn to live with them…for a little while anyway.”

Until Next Time… (Are you guys happy now? Personally, it makes me want to hurl!! Yuck!! I absolutely abhor lovey-dovey!!)

Next Chapter: Unexpected Truths (It is currently in the hands of my wonderful beta!)

Acknowledgements:

1love1 ~ Aki_Iida ~ Scherezade (I hope that wasn't too mushy) ~ Haily ~ Ladykaa28 ~ bigfanofiykag ~ EarthSong ~ Tueske (Happy belated bday!!)~ Deipurple ~ ThisIsMeSmiling (Good guess!!) ~ Lilsweetpea ~ Madmistress64 ~ Miss_Marilyn69 ~ Lunabell ~ Nicc85 ~ SplendentGoddess ~ InuGoddess715 ~ Xyanblue ~ Loulou4729 ~ Silverfeather ~ Sexxiigurrl10204 ~ Mynera ~ Niiicko ~ KM ~ Lovininu27 ~ Silverwolfhalfbeast ~ Meru ~ Angel-up-above-heaven ~ Sutlesarcasm ~ Ai Kisugi ~