InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Heart's Landfill ❯ Silly of Me... ( Chapter 41 )

A/N: As always all characters will be walking that fine line called OOCness!! I just finished writing one of my final papers for my Psych class, so I figured since you guys have really been outstanding with the reviews for the last chapter, I better reward you all!! See, good things really do happen when you guys review! Can you believe it, it has actually been less than a week since I last updated!! Anyway, thanks for all of your wonderful reviews and a special thanks to my beautiful beta, Neko!! Wench, I think we're catching up to ourselves now, I better slow the updates down or either write more, eh? (lol)

Thank you to all of you that voted for the fic with the IYFG, Heart's Landfill has just won 1st Place Best Drama for the 2008 3rd Quarter! Thank you! Thank You! Thank you!

Disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of anyone with the exception of Nya, Nola, Dr. Aikio, Gage, Takira and Dinshu. Deniece Williams and her recording company owns all rights to the song titled, `Silly of Me'.

Chapter 41:

Silly of Me

Sitting her bag down on the couch, Kagome knelt down and unfastened Ashton's leash.

She didn't want to leave Inuyasha the way she did, but she couldn't make herself wake him up. She just couldn't face him…didn't want to face him after last night.

The way that she'd acted towards him when he'd forced her to admit that she only wanted him… She couldn't deny it; at that moment, she wanted to be with him; she wanted to be his girlfriend, his one and only, she did.

And momentarily, she'd believed that that was what he meant by asking her…by making her promise that he'd be the only one. She'd thought, hoped, and wanted to believe that he wanted the same thing too and fleetingly…for the briefest of seconds, she'd believed it.

But then she'd opened her mouth and said the stupidest thing she'd ever said in her life, “Do we really need that, Takahashi? It's okay; you know. I'm on birth control. I just made you a promise and I won't break it.”

She felt like an idiot the moment those words fell from her lips because she knew that unprotected sex was just not something that youkai's and hanyou's took lightly, she felt like an idiot, a complete and utter buffoon.

However, it wasn't until he spoke up with his reason as to why he couldn't go bare-back that she realized that her perception of his question was all wrong, and it wasn't until then that she understood that even though he wasn't married, she was allowing the same thing that happened between her and Kouga to take place again.

“Kagome… It's not that. I just can't… Not until, I'm married, or at least until I've chosen my-”

He was definitely different from Kouga in the way that he treated her, but relationship wise, which was something that she thought she didn't want, it was exactly the same, wasn't it?

She was good enough for him to fuck or make love to, of course, but she wasn't good enough to be his mate. And worse than that, to him, she wasn't good enough to even be his girlfriend.

Sure, she'd told herself repeatedly that she didn't want a relationship with anyone, and she couldn't really pinpoint exactly when she started wanting a relationship with him. But regardless of that, it still hurt like hell hearing him say that basically she wasn't the one…she wasn't good enough.

I'm…I'm never good enough.

She knew he hadn't meant it or said it to hurt her, no, but the truth in those words…the deeper meaning behind them was enough to jar her out of her self-made fantasy and back into the real world.

With Kouga, it had taken hours of tears, one tumultuous heartbreak, and two years of her life to realize that she would never be his wife or his chosen mate. But this time…this time she would be smarter than that. She wouldn't allow herself to be taken for another ride, for lack of a better word.

Inuyasha wouldn't do that. He didn't do that, at least…at least he told me instead of just leading me on, she thought, subconsciously defending his actions.

She knew she didn't have any right to be angry with him and she wasn't, not really. But she was hurt, her feelings…her heart felt bruised and battered.

I did this to myself. I developed feelings for him; I let myself develop feelings for him when I knew…I knew I shouldn't have, she admitted as she lightly scratched Ashton behind the ear, stood to her feet, and started towards the kitchen to fix him something to eat.

Her cell phone sang to life and she stopped and turned towards her purse where it was buried beneath her wallet.

She knew without wanting to know who it was, and for that reason alone she proceeded towards the device. Digging it out of her purse, she stared down at that the screen that read `Dog-boy' as it continued to ring.

She wanted to answer it, God knows she did, but was there really anything left to say to him? Was there any explanation that she could give him for leaving the way she did? Did she even need or rather owe him an explanation at all? Was there anything else that he could say to make his point any clearer than he already had?

Inuyasha, she whispered as her heart palpitated within her chest. “I want to talk to him. I want to hear his voice, but I can't…I can't,” she whispered as she hit the button on the side of her phone and sent the call to her voicemail.

Setting the device down on the table, she stepped back and started towards the kitchen again. She knew she couldn't avoid him forever, but maybe if she avoided him long enough, she'd be strong enough to tell him the things that she knew she wouldn't under normal circumstances be able to say.

Pulling the bag of dog food out from under her kitchen counter, she paused as her phone sang to life again. Staring at it, she whispered heartbrokenly, “Inuyasha, please stop.” She knew it was him, she just knew it.

Turning her attention away from the insistent device, Kagome poured two cups of food into Ashton's bowl, and then quickly refreshed his water as the device finally stopped ringing.

Her mind was telling her to ignore it, that it would be better this way, and that eventually she would get over him, but her heart was pounding as if screaming…begging to see him…to touch him…to have him touch her.

It was almost as if her heart and her soul were telling her that it was okay to just be his play thing, and that it really didn't matter if she wasn't good enough to be his girlfriend. As long as she was still in his world, his inner circle, it would be okay.

Biting down on her lower lip, she shook her head and mumbled despairingly, “No, it's not okay. It's not.”

Her eyes stung with unshed tears as she stepped out of the kitchen and made her way down the hall towards her room.

“Kagome… It's not that. I just can't… Not until, I'm married, or at least until I've chosen my-” she heard his words…his truth whisper through her mind, and she staggered slightly as a sob unlike anything she felt before escaped her.

Grasping onto the wall to steady herself, Kagome wiped at her eyes and tried to tell herself that she wasn't going to cry, but her attempt was fruitless because the more she tried, the more the tears flowed from her eyes ravaging her soul.

Collapsing to her knees, she wrapped her arms around herself, and began to rock back and forth slowly as a torrential downpour of tears coursed down her cheeks.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard her cell phone begin to ring again, and she raised her hands to cover her ears as her head started to slowly shake from right to left as if trying to deny the fact that it was more than likely him again.

Inuyasha, please stop. Please try to understand. I've done this before. I…I can't do it again. I…gods…I can't do this again! Not again! Not for you… Not for anyone!

“Kagome,” she heard it, his voice whisper in her head calling out to her with such urgency that she almost stood to her feet. She looked around desperately, hoping to see him…hoping that he was there, but she knew better; it was simply wishful thinking and nothing more.

Pulling her knees up to her chest, she hugged them as the ringing finally ceased. Laying her head on her raised knees, she sighed and wiped at her eyes again as another consortium of tears started.

As she sat there holding herself and trying to maintain what was left of her sanity, she realized…she understood that she was…that she was not just crying for herself. She was also crying for him, because even though this hurt her more than she cared to admit, it would also hurt him and she hadn't wanted to hurt him, she'd never wanted to do that.

This realization also made her aware of something else. Something that she'd tried to refute for some time now, since before they started having sex. She realized that…that she cared for him…that she…that she…

“I…I…love him,” she whispered sadly as the radio that she'd set to turn on every few hours for Ashton when she was at work, clicked on.

Her head lifted as the words to the song playing softly flowed through her head as if it were some kind of cruel joke. She'd never heard the song before, but the words, the lyrics only caused her to cry harder.

“Silly of me to think that I could ever have you for my guy, how I love you. How I want you. Silly of me to think that you could ever really want me too, how I love you. You're just a lover out to score; I know that I should be looking for more. What could it be in you I see? What could it be? Oh love-stop making a fool of me…”

Kagome stood to her feet as the words continued to play, driving her heartbreak deeper into the very core of her being. Shuffling quickly over to the stereo, she stared at it as if it had offended her somehow.

The words that the woman was singing were a stinging thing against her soul. The truth in those words, the power behind them, and the ache that they caused to build within her chest was something that she honestly wasn't strong enough to handle, or tolerate.

Wiping at her eyes yet again, she whispered as she slowly punched the power button, “Stop…stop making a fool of…me.”

Simonkal of Inuy

It was a bitter thing, biting and tearing at his heart, his nerves, causing him to walk that thin line between insanity and sanity. It drove him to the ends of madness and the brink of darkness. It was tearing, whipping and molding him into a person he didn't recognize and didn't understand.

It started, with a vicious bite, an angry snap of something buried so deep within him that he couldn't control it…didn't want to control it.

Inuyasha knew without having to be told that the moment the sun crested in the East, she would be leaving him, and as he laid there pretending to be asleep… As she kissed his cheek and slid from his side to get dressed with quiet preciseness, something told him to get up and talk to her, to stop her, but his ego and his wounded pride wouldn't let him move.

And the pain in his chest grew and stretched ferociously.

He heard her call quietly to Ashton and the dog seemed to not want to budge, but eventually complied moving from his side as well, though reluctantly.

At that moment as the both of them left him, he couldn't quite explain the feeling of loneliness that encased him.

When he'd heard the front door close softly behind her, he'd sat up abruptly. His body, his blood pulsating as if trying desperately to reach out to her to pull her back, but still he couldn't make his feet move. He couldn't force himself to go after her-not after what he'd done…what he'd said to her.

Since then, he'd managed to miraculously drag himself out his bed, which was one of the hardest things to accomplish since her scent covered his sheets, his pillows and seemed to flow off of the walls in waves, clogging his nostrils and twisting his senses.

He'd even opened the front door, knowing she wouldn't be there waiting for him, but secretly hoping and praying that by some miracle she was.

His cell phone had rung a few times during the early morning hours and each time it caused his heart to nearly jump out of his chest in hopes that it was her, but each time it wasn't.

The first call was from his brother, then Rin, and then Nya, but none of them were from her, so he didn't answer any of those calls.

He knew why his brother and Rin were calling him, she'd probably had the pups, but he just couldn't make himself pretend with them that everything was okay, when his life…his happiness had just been tossed out of a 50th story window and shattered into a billion pieces at his feet.

He knew it wasn't right for him to be so selfish, but how could he go around them and pretend that he was happy for them, when in some way he was, but then again he wasn't. They had everything and he…he had nothing?

He knew that the closest he'd come to that type of happiness was with Kagome, and last night he'd fucked that up royally.

Of course, when he'd married Kikyo he'd thought that perhaps he was close, but what he felt with Kagome-even though they weren't in a serious relationship-what he felt in the few days…the weeks, and the scant months that he shared with her-eclipsed anything that he felt for or with Kikyo, and he had ruined it! He'd completely and without a shadow of a doubt fucked it up!

I need to talk to Kagome. I need to at least try to make this right, he decided. Even if I can't salvage what we had, maybe I can at least get my friend back.

For a transitory moment he felt hope, but just as quickly as it came it was gone.

He had no right to ask for her friendship, did he? He had no right any longer to ask anything of her, nothing, because he'd told her…he said to her that she wasn't good enough.

He'd actually opened his mouth and said it out loud directly to her.

He knew he didn't mean it like that, but did it really matter how he meant it? Did it even matter what words he used? Did it really matter?

No! Of course not, because regardless of what he'd said, he'd still told her that she wasn't good enough.

Sure, he didn't believe or even think for a minute she wasn't good enough. If anything, he probably wasn't worthy of her, but that was still neither here nor there, it was done…he'd still said it.

After all, what kind of man would willing break a woman's heart and then fuck her one last time? What kind of man would know the way a woman really felt about him and pretend…act as if he didn't know or that it didn't matter, because all he was concerned with was protecting himself from falling for her, from allowing her the chance-if it came to that-to truly make him happy?

I'm a bastard! A sick fucking bastard that's no more worthy of her than that prick of an ex-boyfriend was!

Why was it only now, he seemed to be seeing things clearly? Why was it that now, in this instant…in the moments after she'd left him did he finally understand that he had absolutely nothing to gain by pushing her away, but everything to lose?

Walking back into his bedroom, Inuyasha's fingers moved of their own accord as he picked his cell up off of the bed where he'd set it earlier.

He knew he shouldn't call her, but he needed to hear her voice and just in case she actually answered, he needed to apologize, and beg her to please give him another chance, a real chance this time.

The phone rang more than a few times before her voicemail clicked on, causing him to growl violently while ending the call.

A part of him knew that she'd seen him calling and was ignoring him, but as much as he wanted to be mad or angry with her for that slight, he couldn't because he deserved so much more than that.

Please, Kagome, pick up, he pleaded silently as he dialed her number again.

The phone rang for what seemed like hours before her voice mail picked up again, “Hi, you know who you've called, so go ahead and leave me a message and I might call you back.”

He grimaced despondently as his soul, his heart warred again his mind. He wanted to leave her a message telling her…begging her to forgive his stupidity, but the words he needed to say would not come out, so instead he hung up and sighed heavily as his head hung low.

His pride whispered to him that she was making him chase her. It shouted at him that he was Takahashi Inuyasha, and that he didn't need to chase behind one skirt when women all over the world wanted to be with him. It told him, screamed at him that each time he dialed her number and got her voicemail it was like she was slapping him in the face!

He didn't really understand why the thought of her hitting him, made him smile sadly, but it did.

Maybe it was because if she was there really slapping him, at least she was there with him…at least it meant that she was there. Maybe just the thought of her slapping him, somewhere in the back of his mind made him feel closer to her, so much closer to her than he really was. Or maybe…just maybe the thought of her slapping him felt like just punishment for what he'd done and said to her.

Gods if she was here now… If she was here, I'd let her maim me if it meant she'd forgive me. If it meant that it wasn't over. I'd let her… I'd give her… He stood up, stared down at the phone in his hands as realization slowly dawned on him as if it were the tides slowly coming in.

His chest heaved, whispering the words he couldn't say…the words he had been trying so hard to deny. I'd…I'd give her…I'd try to give her my heart if she forgave me.

That knowledge, that fact, that tidbit of information was enough to quiet his heart and make it ache all at once; it was enough to make him want to cry out in agony.

How could he have been so stupid? How could he have been so selfish, so self centered?

If only he had seen this before. If only he had not tried to stop what was happening between them. If only…if only he hadn't…if only he hadn't put his foot in his fucking mouth and run her off!

If I hadn't… If I hadn't, I would still be in denial.

Flipping the phone open, he stared down at the numbers not seeing them, but dialing just the same. It rang and rang and rang in his ear, but she didn't answer.

As the voice mail picked up, he began pacing back and forth until the beep echoed like that of flat-lining heart monitor.

“I…I fucked up, I know I did Kagome, but…but I need to see you. I…I need to talk to you, please,” he pleaded softly. “Please just call me back. Just give me a few seconds of your time. I'm…I'm sorry about last night, I really am, but…” He swallowed, cleared his throat, and tried to stop the way his voice was cracking before he continued, “Kagome, if you care anything for me, please call me back.”

He knew that by pitting her broken heart against the way she possibly felt for him, he was placing her between a rock and a hard place, but that was okay. He was more than willing to play dirty, if it got her to call him, and if it meant that they could talk about this. After all, all's fair in love and war, isn't it?

His cell phone rang and he jumped, picking it up without even looking at the caller id. “Kagome?” he questioned frantically.

The person was quiet before they spoke, “You're not that lucky, Half-breed.”

Inuyasha sighed, unable to find the anger he sought to give his brother the tongue lashing he deserved. “What's up?” he questioned his voice monotone…hopeless.

“Rin is questioning as to why you haven't arrived at the hospital to meet your nephews.”

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, he leaned forward and ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to come up with an excuse that was believable, but found none.

“Sorry, I guess I overslept. Are the pups okay?” he asked, because he knew it was the right thing to do, and not because he was in the frame of mind to actually care.

“They're perfect; did you really expect anything less from this Sesshomaru's loins?”

Normally Inuyasha would have attacked that question with vicious fervor, but he just really couldn't find it in him to care. “I suppose not, huh? What did you name them?”

His brother was quiet as if assessing something before he spoke again, “Gage and Takira.”

“Gage and Takira, nice, congratulations.”

“What time should I tell my mate to expect you?”

Inuyasha sighed lightly and stared at the clock on his wall. He really didn't feel like going anywhere or doing anything, but he knew he couldn't avoid this.

“Umm, tell her I'll be there around lunchtime or so.”

“I'll let her know,” Sesshomaru advised, and then questioned, “Inuyasha, exactly when did Higurashi Kagome start calling you?”

Inuyasha removed the phone from his head and stared at it as if that was the stupidest question he'd ever heard, seconds before he flipped it close, hanging up on his brother.

Tossing the cell phone onto his bed, he laid back and stared up at the ceiling, silently praying that the gods up above would make her call him, if only for her to yell at him and tell him how much of a selfish son of a bitch he was.

Simonkal of Inuy

“I'm sorry, but we need to take her in for a few more tests,” a dark haired nurse stated, stepping into the hospital room.

Glancing from Sango, who had been uncharacteristically quiet during most of her visit, Kagome stood up. Stepping over to the bed, she placed a gentle kiss to her friend's forehead and squeezed her hand, but she couldn't find it in her to say anything reassuring.

She figured if she did, it would seem rehearsed or worse, somehow cheesy.

As the nurse began wheeling Sango out of the room, Kagome sighed and looked over at where Miroku had been standing for the past hour and a half gazing out the window.

She was sure that whatever was out there was nowhere near as interesting as what was in his head, but figured that that was okay too, because after what he and Sango had gone through, to expect anything less would have been more than a little naïve.

Once she was able to pull herself together, Kagome knew she had to visit Sango, because she was more than just her employee, she was her friend…her confidant.

Of course, she hadn't expected to come by herself, but since her and Inuyasha's friendship was now over, she really didn't have anyone to depend on but herself. So, once she had gathered enough strength to drag herself out of the bed she'd crawled into after shutting the radio off, she showered, dressed, and pasted on the prettiest smile she could, because her friend needed her, and even though she wouldn't bring it up, she needed her too.

Clearing her throat as she stepped over to one of the three bouquets of tulips scattered about the room, Kagome questioned softly, “Such beautiful flowers, who sent them?”

At first she didn't think he was going to answer her, until his hoarse voice replied, “You did.”

Fingering one of the striking yellow buds, she questioned more to herself than to him, “Did I?” She couldn't for the life of her remember doing that, so she reached for the card that was still placed among the buds.

Pulling out the small card, she read it quickly. It certainly looked like she'd sent it, but she just couldn't remember doing any such thing, and if she had, she definitely wouldn't have sent three of them, not that Sango didn't deserve it, but she just wouldn't have.

“When were they delivered?” she questioned mildly, wanting to know how she could have sent something she didn't remember sending, and in an attempt to create small talk.

Miroku cleared his throat, but didn't turn to face her as he answered dryly, “Yesterday afternoon.”

“I see,” was her only response. I was so out of it yesterday, could I have? But if I did, why- She dropped the card on the table and stepped back away from the flowers.

No, she hadn't sent them. She was sure of that, but then the only person that could've or possibly would do something like that and say it was from her was Inuyasha.

“Sango won't be coming back to work,” Miroku declared, his tone leaving no room for discussion.

Kagome forced her thoughts away from the flowers and turned towards him even though he wasn't facing her. “Excuse me?”

“I said, she won't be coming back to that…that place,” he snapped angrily.

She could understand his anger and his reason for not wanting her there any longer, and even if she didn't, who was she to say otherwise. “Of course, I…I totally understand,” she replied with a slight bow.

He sighed heavily and his body seemed to deflate just a little. “That bastard… That monster that touched her, he…” Miroku swallowed and shoved his hands deep in his pockets as he inhaled deeply. “We wanted kids, lots of them. Did she ever tell you that?”

Kagome realized that at this moment, he just needed someone to talk to because talking to Sango must have been a difficult thing to do in her current mental state. His aura…his appearance just seemed so angry, so tormented that she felt obligated to listen to whatever he had to say.

“Yeah, she told me,” Kagome confirmed, taking a short step forward.

He snorted harshly, his shoulder length hair whipping back away from his shoulders. “Because of what that bastard did… Because of his fucking claws…”

“Miroku,” she whispered as she stepped towards him, not really wanting him to finish because she had a good idea of exactly where he was going with this. Placing her hand on his shoulder, she continued, “Miroku, you don't-”

He cut her off as if he'd hadn't even been listening to her to begin with, “He ripped her…tore her insides like she was nothing…like she was a piece of trash on the side of the street!” As those last words fell from his lips, his head dropped and a sob escaped him the likes of which she had never heard from a man before.

He brought his hands up to his face as if he was trying to hide the fact that he was crying, but still his body shook and trembled. He was mourning the loss of his most treasured dreams, his wife, his one and only true love, she knew that, but she felt powerless to help him.

Stepping up to him, Kagome slipped her arms around his shoulders and pulled his head down to her shoulder. “Miroku, I'm… Dear God, Miroku, I'm so sorry,” she told him as he continued to weep in her arms, which only caused her to begin to tear up as well.

He slipped his arms around her waist, and pulled her closer as he began to cry harder-apparently releasing everything that he wasn't able to release in front of Sango. He was like a child clinging to her desperately as if she could make this right, as if she could and would chase away his nightmares.

Almost as quick as it began, it ended and he stepped back away from her in the manner befitting someone that had just been burned. He glanced at her, a rueful smile on his face and turned back to the window, his only solace in this storm it seemed.

Wiping at his face, he said, “They showed me the pictures…the x-rays and they told me… They told her that there was a chance that she could still carry a baby, but I'm a doctor, Kagome. Gynecology is my specialty and those pictures…” Another sob escaped him and he threw his head back and stared up at the ceiling as if it would stop the tears that still demanded release. “Those pictures… What that fucking bastard did to her…to the woman I love, Kagome… Oh, oh, God,” he hissed as he brought his hands up to his face again and whimpered.

“Miroku, I'm…”

His head snapped up, his sadness replaced by raw anger and rage. “I…I don't want your pity, and neither does Sango! You…you're just glad that it wasn't you, aren't you?!”

Kagome stepped back away from him, her head shaking from right to left as her mind tried to swallow what he just shouted at her. “Miroku, no. If I could…If I could…”

“You would what? Answer your phone one of the 15 fucking times that she called you? You…you would've shown up to fucking work, Kagome!” he growled, his anger a vicious, spiteful thing that she somehow knew wasn't totally directed at her. Still, his accusatory tone hurt like a knife piercing her chest repeatedly.

She stepped back as he continued, “If you could, Kagome, what would you do, huh? Reverse time? You would've been there to keep her from lying to that monster to protect you?” He laughed; it was a harsh sadistic thing that was so unlike him that it forced her to step back away from him and clutch her chest. “No, let me guess! You're so fucking sorry that you wish you could take her place, right? Well guess what, I wish you could too!” he bellowed, his eyes glaring at her, threatening her and demanding that she make amends for what she's done.

Kagome stared at him, unable to keep her tears from flowing, unable to stop the burning sensation that was building in her chest. Those hateful words…the belief that he was blaming her…that he…that he thought that she…that she was responsible for this atrocity was a painful pill to swallow.

“Take your fucking flowers; she doesn't need them! Take your fucking flowers, Kagome, and give her back what the fucking prick took from her! Give us back what that bastard took from us!” he roared furiously, swinging his arms out to his sides and knocking one of the vases filled with tulips to the floor.

Turning quickly, she picked up her purse and ran out of the room as thick tears cascaded down her cheeks, smearing her make-up and making it so that she could barely see.

She wiped at her eyes fitfully, but the more she wiped the more the damnable tears came.

Where had she gone wrong? When did her life start falling apart? Why…why was this happening to her?

Rounding a corner, she didn't care where she ended up or who was watching her, she just wanted…needed to get out of here. She needed to get away from his hateful words and this…this…

Inuyasha, she silently whispered not meaning to, but he…he was where she felt safe. He was the only place that she found comfort.

Unfortunately, that only served to make her cry even harder because it was over between them. What they had found in each other was not meant to be; it was done…finished…dead.

There was no place for her to go. She had no one she could lean on, no one that could…that could make this pain…this ache go away.

Her breathing was labored and heavy as she pushed through a set of double doors while trying to wipe at her eyes. She collided with someone, but she didn't know who it was, and honestly she didn't care anymore as another part of her broke and crumpled into dust at her feet.

Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that this by no means was appropriate, but she clung to that stranger, fisted her hands in his shirt and buried her face in his chest as her legs gave out from beneath her.

She held on to him as if he was the only thing letting her know that she was still a living, feeling, and breathing human being.

As her soul opened up and she felt the stranger's hands come up to hesitantly steady her, her only thought as her body quaked against his was, Takahashi, why…why? Gods, why is this happening to me?

Simonkal of Inuy

“Are you sure Sesshomaru's the father, because I swear they're just too handsome to be related to him,” Inuyasha gushed, trying to sound happy as he leaned over one of the bassinets his brother had brought in for this special occasion.

Rin smiled, her eyes locked on that of the precious little boy in her arms with golden eyes and barely there white strands of hair on his little head. Pulling the blue and white stripped cap back over his head to cover his little triangular ears that were identical to his uncles, she replied, “Yeah, I'm sure. And if you don't believe me, I think that Takira might take after him totally. Outside of when I had him, he hasn't cried at all.”

Reaching into the bassinet, Inuyasha ran his claw lightly over the pup's nose in an attempt to wake him. “So this is Takira, huh? And that one there is Gage?”

“Yes,” Rin gushed as she stared down at her firstborn who was at the moment trying desperately to suck the side of his little hand. “Are you hungry, sweetie?”

“Nah, I already ate,” Inuyasha replied, reaching into the bassinet to pickup Takira.

Rin rolled her eyes at him, but smiled. “You know, I do have other sweeties now, don't you?”

Situating the little bundle wrapped in a yellow and blue cashmere blanket in his arms, Inuyasha grinned down at the little boy as he rubbed the ball of his finger over the baby's soft hand. He had to admit that this was a beautiful sight.

Takira yawned wide and his little eyelids cracked open lazily revealing two golden orbs and the hanyou couldn't help but to smile down at his nephew.

“Hey you, I'm your uncle,” he declared proudly. “When you get older we're going to kick a lot ass, you hear?”

“Lover, are you teaching him bad words already?”

Inuyasha grinned down at the pup. “I'm just getting him ready for the big bad world is all.”

Gage whimpered in Rin's arms and Inuyasha turned his attention to him, “Ah, don't worry, twerp,” he quipped, reaching over to wiggle one of Gage's little feet that was sticking out of his blue and yellow cashmere blanket. “We'll let you tag along too.”

Rin shifted her son, rocking him gently in her arms. “I don't know who's going to be worse you or your brother. Did you know he had monogram car seats made for them?”

“Yeah, well now I have a reason to fix up that extra room. What color do you think they'll like? Red or blue, or should I paint it red and blue?” Inuyasha questioned while walking over to the window. “And I need to order some baby furniture; two of everything.

“You know you don't have to do that, right?”

“Please,” he scoffed. “Only the best for my nephews; heck, I can hardly wait until I can start teaching them how to drive. You think Sesshomaru would mind if I bought them their first motorcycles?”

The hanyou missed the way Rin smiled proudly at him before responding, “I don't think he'd mind at all, Inuyasha. And I think whatever color you choose to paint their room at your house, they'll be fine with it.”

“Yeah, they're cool like that, aren't they?” he questioned rhetorically, a proud grin on his face.

Inuyasha, he heard her voice as if she was standing beside him whispering in his ear.

Takahashi turned, looked around the room, and sniffed, but she wasn't there and hadn't been. Glancing down at his nephew again, the hanyou smiled as he tried to force her from his mind so that he could enjoy his new family members.

A stabbing sensation jarred him out of his forced state of happiness, forcing him towards the bassinet again. He couldn't explain it…didn't know how to explain it, but he felt like she needed him, like…like she was hurting.

He tried to smile through the steady pain that was growing in his chest, but it appeared that the more he fought it, the more vicious it became.

After kissing the pup on the forehead, he gently laid him back in the bassinet and stepped back, his fist balling up and releasing of its own accord. He felt like running, like every nerve in his body was on fire. If he had to explain it, he would have said that this feeling was akin to anxiety.

I…I have to go, he thought not knowing where he was going but just feeling that he had to get out of there, he had to…he had to find her, Kagome.

“Rin, I'll…I'll be back,” he stated quickly as he stepped back towards the door.

“Are you okay?” she questioned unsurely.

“Yeah…yeah, I'm fine, I just…I just need to get some air,” he answered turning and starting out the door.

Stepping into the hallway, he inhaled deeply and tried to tell himself that he was just being silly. There was no way that he could feel that she needed him, but the more he told himself that, the stronger the feeling grew.

His chest clenched and released, his blood rolling vigorously inside him as if it was trying to separate itself from his very being.

“Mine,” he heard that damnable voice-that had been more vocal as of late- whisper, but he tried to ignore it by shoving it to the back of his mind. He didn't have time to deal with that, he needed to get to her. Somehow, he had to get to her.

Inuyasha clutched his chest and stepped towards the door that led to the stairwell. Pushing it open, he stared from right to left, and then up and down as his feet, his body just started running up the stairs as if someone was chasing him.

Clearing the 8th floor, he came to an abrupt stop at the door that led to the 9th floor and his heart shook inside of him. It was pulling him towards and through the door with such swiftness that he didn't completely remember opening it at all, but he knew he must have.

Stepping into the hallway, Inuyasha inhaled deeply, his eyes flaring wide as her scent assaulted his nostrils, but it wasn't only that, it was the smell of her tears as well. They mingled, twisted, and swirled together creating something so…so indescribable that it left him speechless.

What the hell… What is she doing here, and why is she crying?

“Takahashi,” there she was again whispering to him in his head as if it was some kind of dream.

“Ka…gome, where are you?” he whispered softly.

He didn't understand half of what was going on, but as he followed her scent, it was almost like he was in some kind of trance. It carried him passed faces he didn't see, down and around more than a few corridors, through a set of heavy double doors and then brought him to a screeching halt!

At that moment time slowed to a drip as unwarranted anger surged violently inside him, while he watched with a heavy heart and anguished filled eyes as Kagome wept, and leaned heavily on a bastard that wasn't him.

Inuyasha growled low, his fist clenching and releasing repeatedly, promising the culprit a slow death for touching what was not his to touch.

“Mine,” that damnable voice whispered again, and the hanyou took a quiet step forward, his head down, his teeth clenched, and his eyes narrowed dangerously on the two of them.

Until Next Time…(Your .02 cents are greatly appreciated!!)

Next Chapter: A Heart's Desperate Plea

Acknowledgements:

Broken Dreams ~ InuGoddess715 ~ Lilsweetpea011 ~ Kawa-Misuterii ~ Ale1985 ~ Ai Kisugi ~ Xyanblue ~ Nicc85 ~ Mynera ~ Midoriko-sama ~ Silverwolfhalfbeast ~ Loulou4729 ~ 1love1 ~ Miss_Marilyn69 ~ Niiicko ~ Meru