InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Hidden Beneath a Smile ❯ Waiting ( Chapter 12 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this next installment, and don't forget to review!!!!

Thanks to everyone whom has review so far, I wouldn't have likely come back to finish this story if it were for you guys!!! I just didn't have the heart to leave you hanging after all of the wonderful support and help you've all given me! ^_~

So this chapter is dedicated to you, my wonderful Reviewers, for without you this story might have died!

Don't worry though, I really do like this story and I wouldn't dream of leaving you all to wonder how it may have ended.






Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha





Hidden Beneath a Smile

Chapter Twelve: Waiting




His gaze took in the physical appearance of his secretary, carefully weighing the differences he had been seeing slowly surface within her over the last week. She was a bit more bubbly then usual, and secretive. That was what bothered him the most, the idea that she might be keeping something from him willingly, purposefully. "Rin," Sesshoumaru spoke softly, "is there something that you wish to tell me?" Though his words sounded as if he were asking a question, he was merely demanding an answer for her strange behavior as of late; and she knew it as well. He could see it in the way she flinched at his words, the air around her altering into something mysterious, cunning.

Shifting through the files in her arms, she handed him the deal he had specifically sent her to fetch not to long ago. While he followed the more notorious side of society, to the rest -to the authority mostly-, he was the typhoon of the technological world. This company, he had owned before this entire ordeal occurred, he used to filter through dirty money made by less then legal means. Sometimes he would launder money for others, as a favor, to gain ties and to make the twenty- percent he would receive from it. Having a high-ranking alley came in handy when he, or one under him or in his family, found themselves in a tight spot. The file Rin had for him was the shipment time for the newly made tracking devices meant to go to the men that 'maintained' order in Japan; the police. Manufacturing such equipment had it benefits in helping the cops turn their eyes to his crimes, as well as came in handy to the fact that he knew how to bypass all of their security measures. Underlying that information were those of the suitcases containing the money, he had hidden away on that cruse, for filtering at the company. One such client that would be reaping the benefits of this shipment, happened to be one Bonkotsu of the Seven Brothers in the agency working for 'him.' The arrogantly stubborn man was not easy to get in his pocket, but every man had his price.

Rin waited a moment for her boss and near brother to read over the contents of the file before speaking. "Where would you get an idea like that?" She questioned, her eyes straying towards any surface and object, anywhere but the inu youkai's face. "I'm hiding nothing at all." A statement they both knew to be what it was, a lie, and an aversion to the truth.

Raising a dubious brow, Sesshoumaru grunted. He knew that look in the young girl's eyes well, and how could he not? Having known the impetuous human since her birth he knew that nothing he said would move the girl, the unyielding set to her face and fierce look to her eyes speaking volumes if he even tried to pry the information from her. "I see that you're set against telling me anything." He commented, an edge seeping into his tone that caused her to step back. She was acting, as Kagura had been the entire week, despite their broken friendship, where they working together in this? Sesshoumaru did not like this defilement of his laws by the two of the closet beings to his heart. "Might you be willing to tell me if you and Kagura are working in this together?" Her genuine look of bafflement was enough of an answer. "Is what you're in detrimental to your health?" He queried, wanting to know if he would need to steep in despite her strong will for him to let it alone.

"I haven't any idea what Kagura is up to, we've not been on speaking terms for a while." She snappishly answered his unasked question, a tad bit of sadness entering her tone as she thought of her and Kagura's failed friendship. She hoped to one day have it mended, if it could be. "And I don't see what business it is of yours, if I was hiding anything; that's if I where hiding anything, which I'm not." Taking a breath Rin turned on her heals and called over her shoulder as she egressed from the office. "I can take care of myself." She declared, taking the final words before he could shout anything at her disappearing form through the double doors of his office.

Sesshoumaru groaned silently once she was out of the room, slumping down in his chair. Why was it now that the only two women in his life decided they did not need him to fix their problems any longer, that they needed independence in their lives? He could remember like it was only yesterday when they were coming to him with dilemma's that needed solving instead of just going about it solo. It was just little over a week that this all began... how he hated this. The man he had following Kagura's every move proved to be worthless, as he could not find him any suitable knowledge as to what could possibly be going on with that insufferable woman.

His golden gaze roved over the documents that were handed to him before Rin stormed from the room in upset at him seeing through her small deception. He was, despite his will to tamp it down, greatly ill at ease with the thought that the two most important women in his life were in some type of trouble yet refused to speak with him about it. Intransigent in their want to stay their hand at asking for his help. It was unacceptable, an offense he would not allow to pass by idly without his influence. Sesshoumaru barely registered the perfectly typed words he read as his thoughts continued to tread upon a different, infinitely rockier, terrain, at least in this moment. He mentally noted to re-read the document within his grasp, that he had neglected for a more personal and overwhelming problem. Perhaps he could have Jaken -his accountant- read them over and then brief him of the contents later, that, or force Inuyasha for his trespasses. Sesshoumaru sorely believed that neither of this would have happened if his brother had not encouraged Rin to find her own Independence from him, thus spurring Kagura's want of working 'out in the field,' as she called it. Yes, Inuyasha would be buried in paper work instead of this constant slacking off he'd allowed in order for his brother to handle some of the more shady aspects of the business per the hanyou's will.

Letting a satisfied smirk cross his visage, a smile that would have had had many falling to the floor pitifully pleading for their lives, until a revelation hit. He could have Rin followed and maybe, unlike the man he had on Kagura, this spy might actually find out something useful. Straightening his back, Sesshoumaru reached over to grasp his telephone when it rang before his clawed hands could fully close around its neck, or handle. Putting the telephone to his ear, he demanded to the mouthpiece for whoever was on the line to name their want. "What is it?" Of course, this person had to call now when he had been about to handle some other rather important matter, it always happened that way for him recently. Nothing had been going his way this week.

"Sorry if it's a bad time." Came the hushed voice through the earpiece. His Irritation was quickly forgotten; Sesshoumaru listened intently to the speaker, knowing by the sound of the voice who spoke to him. "I've gotten through word of mouth some information that'd be worth while to you, for a price..." He let the sounds slide of his tongue like silk, holding it a few syllables to unnecessarily enunciate the last few words.

"Give me the information, and if it's 'worth while' I won't take your life for interrupting my work." Sesshoumaru growled a dangerous, utterly murderous, note underlying his angrily spoken words. That he dare demand a price for information that by right should be given to him for free, by the circumstances in which he and this man began working together under. The faint chuckling over the line brought a growl vibrating his chest into higher clarity. It was by sheer will that the telephone did not crush under the quivering grip of his left hand; how dare he think a warning from the might Sesshoumaru to be funny.

"Calm down, I was only joking." The voice commented offhandedly, only furthering in fueling Sesshoumaru's anger, and furthering in lengthening his own greatly torturous demise. This time the tone flowing through his ear canal held a more solemn note to its words. "I think it may be a trap, there's no possible way he'd find himself in this type of situation. It sounded fishy to me and I think they wanted their mole to get this to you, I don't believe he'd allow anyone to..."

Anger fading, Sesshoumaru spat in distaste. "Just tell me your information so that I can continue what I had been doing prior to your... untimely interruption."

After hearing what he had to say, Sesshoumaru slammed the telephone back into its cradle. Cursing Inuyasha for his stupidity, he stood from his seat nearly running from his office and down the halls ignoring inquiries, of the brave souls, on to what his hurry might be.

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Kagura stared unseeingly at the paper work that littered her desk. This entire week she had been ignoring Sesshoumaru, and it would not have bothered her at all, if her doing so had not given him the idea that she had found her way into a dire situation. One such situation that needed his immediate attention, no matter the amount of denials that met his ears. That she was reluctant to have him absolve her problems for her, sighing, she leaned back, ignoring everything else going on around her, suspiring even more when she felt the bun tied atop her head loosen with the action. Her only problem was something he refused to fix. Kagura did not want this boring old desk job tailing a man only when he was in the office, or some other place located in the building. She wanted to be out there following her partner on the front lines, not doing exactly as she had before when she'd been Sesshoumaru's secretary. How was she to prove herself to the overbearing chauvinistic pig -a tittle which he really didn't deserve as his views that seemed to follow along those line really only applied to her and Rin- that she could handle herself if she never left her chair?

Looking to her left at the tap upon her shoulder, Kagura found a stout, balding little man trying to stare down at her as he awaited her acknowledgment. "Yes?" She queried. "What do you want?" Her tone was bored; dismissive as she lazily scooted from her laid back position. She really was not in the greatest of moods to be dealing with her 'colleagues.' A people that she loathed for their underhanded dealings, though it wasn't fair to damn them all for it as not every agent was working with 'him'. She had met quite a few whom were absolutely kind to her when she first arrived, and still showered her with kindness whenever they glimpsed hr in passing.

A slight look of distaste crossing the older man's visage being the only sign of his offense to her tone, the man continued on as though he weren't effected in how she addressed his presence. "Akahito-sama wants you in his office." He spoke monotone, turning to lead her to the said destination, never once looking over his shoulder to see if she did in fact follow.

A reluctant look to the eyes that watched her curiously was all the stalling that she had done before giving in, taking long strides to catch up to her guide to the bosses office. Kagura had only once before stepped foot into the old man's office, and that was nearing little over a week ago. She doubted if she would be able to find the room again as she had paid little attention to the directions, she and her last chaperone, had taken her the first time. She memorized details this time, floors, hallways, as they walked in heavy stifling silence. Why are the quiet times such as these always carrying such an awkward air? Why did one always hold such a strong need to speak any amount of words just to break it, as she felt now? An often-pondered question that left most whom sought an answer baffled, as it left her while she thought about it only to take away her discomfort in the silence.

A tap from her shoulder again brought her from inward remising. Blinking a few times, Kagura's gaze fell upon the short and stout old man glowering upon her. Grumbling beneath his breath of 'air headed women that had no business being an agent, and rude to their elders to boot.' Kagura rolled her eyes at what her ears were picking up. "Well, go on through them doors." He grouched. "I ain't got all day." Not even waiting for a reply or to see if she actually entered the imposing double doors of the office their boss resided, he went on to the business he had been interrupted from for this heinous task of a secretary.

Kagura glowered at his moving form, grumbling beneath her breath. "Grumpy old geezer." Pushing past the two doors with little thought due the annoyance clouding her vision and fueling her movements, she marched straight into her boss's office with little regard to the secretary waiving her down. Kagura froze once her sight came to rest upon the old man sitting behind his leather seat poring over documents. He set them aside and looked upon her with lazy, question. "Um..." she began trying to think of the man's name, "some one said that you wish to see me, sir."

A tenebrific light transformed his eyes, causing her to horripilate. She could feel the tiny hairs of her neck rising even further at his toothy grin, portraying something not wholly right. What was wrong with her boss this day, so different then the man he was the other two times she had to face him. "Ah, Kagura." He spoke as though he just remembered an action that normally would have irritated her only severed to further her unease. She knew that he did not forget he was only acting as though he had. Why? "Sit." Hesitant to move so close to him, she obeyed and took the seat in which his hand indicated. "You have been under my employment for little over a week, and yet the shrewdness of your mind shows greatly in the work you perform. It is something in which I need in my more secretive missions."

"Sir?" She questioned.

"To the point I see." He grinned, and Kagura -oddly enough- found herself, wanting to shrink away from him. "I want you, Kagura, to join my specialized team against the Shikaku brother's. What do you say to that?" He queried, and she leaned forward suddenly interested. It was a man in the government in which Sesshoumaru was trying to find his reasons for going into the less refined part of society. Perhaps she could find her way of proving herself in gathering information that can be of use to Sesshoumaru and then he would see her as more then his secretary. Then she could do real work preferably a job such as Miroku's. Though she was not a cool headed as the monk, she would be able to handle the other heads of their society just as well if not better. "I take it by the interested glow to your eyes that you will take it."

"Yes, I will have it, sir." Kagura replied. Finally, she was getting some recognition for her skills. Now all that she needed was information that could help, and for Sesshoumaru to never find out. He would never allow her to go through with this. He would force her to take back her acceptance and decline the offer. Fire lit behind her will, shown through her ruby eyes, Kagura would not let that happen. If the taiyoukai ever found out he would have to physically fight her tooth and nail to drag her from the task of proving herself.

"Good." He grinned with a twisted and knowing light that made her rethink her plot. Perhaps having to work much closer with her boss was not a desired side effect. "Your first order of business would be to make way over to Kyoto, on second to the apartment complex there. I have it on good authority that the youngest brother of the two is in that building along with some people they are harboring, an informant informed me that someone blew it up with him side." Her eyes widened against her will as she held her breath in horror. "Your assignment is to go down there and question witnesses about what happened and whom might have committed the act. You're dismissed."

Kagura stood on shaking legs, but managed to exit the office and out of her boss's sight before bolting through the building, moving between coworkers to find the exit and see for herself if what he said to be fact was truth. She prayed it were only a prank, that Inuyasha was intact. Sesshoumaru, she knew despite his hardness towards his brother, would break if it were not a fabrication of a prankster.

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He listened carefully behind the secret door to everything that his grandfather spoke to that woman, to Kagura, and he stiffened. His grandfather could not possibly be as heartless as that to have done such a disciple deed as having children to suffer through such a horrific end. He did not want to believe that with his whole heart despite its whispering to him that his grandfather would. The man lived in a world with it's own set of rules, such moves in this game were only minor offenses into creating a bigger picture. The endeavor in which he takes his father's place and brings together the world so that he could be the one supreme ruler over all. It felt wrong to him, yet he would do it, if only to honor his father's memory and make his dream a reality. A dream, in which he was killed for, killed by the Shikaku brother's. Still he did not believe that innocents should die, as his grandfather seemed to, for the goals to reach an end.

As soon as the woman left the room in a daze, He pressed his hand onto the screen scanning his prints to allow access. Entering, he ambled over to stand positioned before his grandfather, practiced stoic expression well in place. "Tell me, grandfather, that you had nothing to do with this. You and I both know the apartment complex in which you claim is the 'target of a rival making to send warning,' was home to a little girl and boy." Clenching his fits in to tight balls, he demanded in a very controlled tone, baring anger, and frustration in its undertone. "Say it grandfather, say you had nothing to do with his!"

Chucking darkly, His grandfather bit out his reply. "This should teach you, grandson, not to defy me!" Akahito, Houjo -his grandfather- stood from his oiled leather seat, but did not come anywhere near to towering him. "Especially not in front the men, you do well to respect me and my say. You should have had them killed for their failure, or at the very least showed them harsher punishment so they would not allow such again. They would have done well to remember the pain, it might have kept them steady in their missions."

Moving a step forward, he questioned appalled. "You'd do such a despicable act for such a foolish reason."

Houjo smiled, dry lips pulling over teeth that shown with saliva into a smug look, as he reclaimed his seat, folding wizened old hands over his lacquered desk. "I did nothing grandson, it is your disrespectful actions that have seen to it these children died young instead of old and gray within their beds. They died a death meant for wretched men in stead of the peaceful sleep most dream of, most hope for." His dark eyes sparkled with a cruel light as he stared down his grandson. "Had you not done what you did those... children... would be enjoying their young lives about now." The old man mocked, seeming to enjoy the inner turmoil rolling around his grandson's chest.

His clenched hand fell slack against his sides as his eyes widened in horror. "No, I... you are the one who-."

"Who gave word for it, yes, but you are the one whom inspired it. You are the reason for this happening. Grandson, you might as well have slipped the knife through the rib cage, or detonated the bomb in this case." His grandfather spoke out cruelly. "This incident rides upon your shoulders, you are responsible, I just hope that it teaches you to be more courteous in the future and listen to your old grandfather when he speaks."

Horror stole across his face as the heart within his chest nearly beat itself from its confinement. Those two small innocent lives destroyed in the most grotesque way all because of him... no! He denied fiercely, I... it's not, its... my... fault. He wanted for more than anything to curl up into a ball and hide from the world forever. He was a monster; he killed the lives of children, he allowed for them to die when he promised himself that no more innocents would wed death for his venture. Not after... not after, breath stalled in his lungs, he needed to get out of this office. He needed to be away from the sadistically grinning face of his grandfather; most importantly, he needed air: the fresh air of the outside world.

Backing up one, two, three steps, he turned sharply and egressed the way he had come. Running down the narrowed halls as though something far worse then the hounds of hell were chasing him. He was running from haunting memories of the past, familiar faces, and those made up by his trickster of mind to taunt him for his latest fault. He ran, and he shut his eyes against it. Yet, the whispers were still screaming at his ears, reminding him of what he had done years ago. The foolish mistakes of boy that severely wanted the love of his grandfather: the recognition. To see pride, love and joy starring back at him. He had no idea that being entirely the man his grandfather wished of him would weigh so heavily upon the soul. A sin so great, it sheared his heart, beyond repair and left him with an inseparable stain of blood visible only to his eyes, upon his hands.

Those hands shook now, and he refused to look at them as his mind whispered. No! As voices of the dead whispered to his ears, goading him, they wanted him to remember they wanted him to relive the horror he had amassed and to see the blood upon his hands to which he made flow freely. When he awoke from his coma, he had been innocent; stainless... he had the mentality of an eight-year-old. He had no idea the meaning of death, had not the slightest clue the anguish it would cause his soul were he to do as his grandfather wanted. Before he would always refuse, his heart telling him not to tread upon this wrongful sounding ground. Yet, he wanted to be loved. He wanted the love of his only remaining family. He had heard it said somewhere, 'a desperate man would do anything for the love of his family.' Even the ultimate sin... this pushed him and eventually forced him into agreement. Words he heard whispered in the back of his mind with no face, no memory to place them with.

Watching through the window of 'limousine,' the man whom claimed to be his grandfather called the car, he watched the people amble about this city minding their own personal lives; watch the buildings fly by in unabashed awe. He felt foolish doing so, but could not help it, he had never seen such sights before. At lest he did not believe so. He remembered nothing before waking up and seeing the face of the elder man he now rode the limousine beside. He had been told of a fire caused by his sworn enemy, the same men that had killed his father, now tried to murder him. He was suppose to be trying to live out the dream of his father, yet something nagged at the back of his head, something wholly wrong and unsettling. It had been for awhile, ever since waking and hearing the story of his father several weeks ago.

"Grandfather," he spoke suddenly, "what is death?" His father had died, but he did not know what it meant. His grandfather wanted him to kill, and yet, he had no idea as to what the elder man wanted of him. Inside whispered of horrors he could not yet comprehend, while a part of him only wished to see his grandfather look at him with love than how a man looked at his tool in a work belt.

"Your sixteen years old boy and you don't know." The grandfather scoffed impatiently. They were late, or so his grandfather claimed, to where ever they were heading. The old man had been yelling threats at the diver the last few minutes to speed up and get them there faster. He mostly ignored all of the words, though, he hopped his grandfather would not be this crabby all the time. He did not like it, and it scared him slightly.

Shamefully, he admitted, "I don't remember," so that he could hear the answer.

"It's like falling into a deep and never ending sleep." The grandfather sighed finally.

"Is it painful?" That was one out of two of his biggest fears.

"Of course its..." Grandfather began roughly, and then stopped softening the word, "not. It's just like going to sleep, it doesn't hurt does it?"

"No." He replied, and then asked the second of his fears. "Is it bad?"

"Only if the man you kill did you no wrong, the men we kill are all evil. They deserve to die."

Somehow, with the answers provided, he did not feel at all comforted. Still, he thought about the words and used them to block out the voice that whispers of wrongness in actions, his conscience. He was a sixteen-year-old boy, with the mentality of an eight-year-old then. It had only lasted a month, that type of innocence. He had it ripped away from him like the teeth of a starved lion sheering its prey, meat, guts, bones and all. He paused in his running and finally gave in after having made it part way down a mostly deserted street -a strange phenomenon during this time of day- and allowed his eyes to traverse down to his hands. He had to hold back against the vomit that wanted to spew fourth from his stomach. His hands... they were covered and dripping with dark crimson essence. He swallowed hard and forced those very hands into his suede jacket to be blocked from his view, and the view of others. What if they could see it as well?

Was it so wrong to want the love of one's own grandfather?

Apparently, it is a heavier sin then any he had ever read about, at least it was for him. The wickedness he had performed with his own two hands. They wanted him to remember, and they would not leave him in piece until he did.

He wanted them to leave him be and let him wallow in his own self made pity. Clear where the memories in his head, despite the many years between now and then.

The smooth and soft metal against his palm shook as he held it eye level to aim at the woman his grandfather wanted him to end the existence of. She would not hurt, so he would do it because her and her husband had wronged his grandfather and like the old man said... 'She and he deserves the sweet oblivion death can only give.' Still, he was nervous, and because of that, his arm shook throwing of his aim to a slight degree. Her eyes pleaded with his own; he ignored it as his grandfather said. The soft tilt of her voice pleading for life was dealt the same courtesy. "Please, please... don't do it, don't... don't kill me."

A hesitation no more then the amount of time it would take to blink ones eye, and pulled the trigger with a resound bang. The shrieking, horrific and anguished sound of her pain permeated the air and cut through his heart surer then any arrow evey could; even with the best marksman behind it. Blood spilled in gushing rivulets from the area of entry and he felt sick as his eyes watched her fall to her knees eyes wide and boring into his own with silent accusation. His grandfather had lied to him, he had said that it would not hurt. He said, he said she would just fall asleep, his mind screamed in denial of the grotesque scene he had created with own two hands.

Another shot was fired, but it was not from his own gun, and felt it move pass his ear and collided with the wall behind him. That bullet was a breadth inch from making its mark, only put off by the rage and grief shaking hands of a now widower husband. Fear filled him as he stared into the black empty eyes of grief and ire so fierce. This combined with the knowledge of true death had him scared to such a degree that his heart ceased to beat and his limbs prickled as they froze up. Instinct to survive took over and he shot the man before he, himself, could be killed. He did not want to experience what he had forced that woman to undergo.

He dropped the gun. "Mama... papa...?" Tears pricked at his eyes when the full weight of his actions occurred to him, he had orphaned a child. Dropping to his knees as though dead weight, he placed his hands on the profusely bleeding wound and tried to stop its avid flow. He pushed on it, used her clothes to cease it from pouring out, it would not stop, and even if it had, it would not matter. She was already dead. His grandfather taught him how to shoot for the kill. They were both dead, and they were not coming back.

Their combined life essence seeped through his fingers, colored his face, and stained his clothes; still he moved to wrap his arms around the crying child. "I'm sorry." He whispered repeatedly like a broken mantra. Those words eased nothing of his own pain, and they did not comfort the child. He killed the boy's parents; they were not coming back, as he was sure the child had realized by now. "I'm sorry." He began to rock with the child, back and fourth, back and fourth...

That was how his grandfather found him much later, the man of whom he had sold his soul to gain the love of. Love that never came.

Slowing his walk, he moved to the pay phone and dug change from his pocket, closing his eyes against the blood shadowing his hand, he paid the machine. Dialing quickly the number, he hid his limb once more so he would not have to look at it. He waited for what seemed a lifetime before a voice questioned over the earpiece. "This is a 911 operator, what is your emergency?"

"I...I," he took in a breath to replenish the air that had been robbed of him through his run, "send an ambulance and fire truck to second Ave. on Kyoto, apartment complex Sanson. A bomb has been set and may have already gone off killing thousands..." this new thought brought him pause and he mechanically hung the telephone upon the cradle. He was responsible for more then two deaths now, more then two children. Walking down the street in a daze, his feet carried him down the sidewalk. A slow pace as his mind took in the incompressible knowledge he placed upon himself. His pace hastened and when his mind came back from the dark depths of despair, his eyes found a street sign that read Second Avenue.

Stiffening, he considered turning tail and running back home to wallow in the dark of his office and to stare out the window he so loved his sanctuary from the world. No, he would go the park, it had become a new type of safe-haven for him; one his grandfather had no knowledge of. He would go there, eagerness filling his body, fueling his movements he turned to walk down the street that would lead him to peace...

Bang!

His heart stopped it avid beats, his breath catching and his ears filling with that one hollow sound, while his sights sat upon smoke billowing up from the building a ways down the block he occupied. Frozen to that spot, unmoving, sound blocked from his ears, and sight unfocussed. Words and that ghastly noise were the only sounds he was aware of. The sight of billowing smoke and flashes of the past were all that filled his sights. He felt nothing but the blood of the slain slicking his hands and filling his senses.

"Grandfather, what is death?"

"Your sixteen years old boy and you don't know."

Pedestrians pushed past him to see what had caused the commotion, throwing careless questions toward him as they ran for his knowledge the matter. He did not hear them, did not feel them nearly knock his body to the earth as they moved by. Fire engines roared through streets at immeasurable speed, the wail of the vehicle sending warning of its coming followed by that of the ambulance and the police. It was as if he were moving through water, distantly he could hear, blurry was his vision, and softly he could feel almost water brushing his skin.

"I don't remember."

"It's like falling into a deep and never ending sleep."

"Is it painful?"

"Of course it's... not. It's just like going to sleep, it doesn't hurt does it?"

"No. Is it bad?"

"Only if the man you kill did you no wrong, the men we kill are all evil. They deserve to die."

Flames brushed his skin and ran to be rid of them, but they would not leave without satisfying themselves with singing his flesh. Crying out in pain, he bolted down the street running from the memories that hounded him, the visions that would not leave his mind. Unrelenting in the apparent task of driving in the fact: He was a murderer, he was helpless, and he was unable to save his father. The face of a woman flashed before his mind's eye, but he blocked his eyes against her before he could identify contours. He would see no more fabrications of the silhouettes to the one he killed this day. He would not allow them to haunt his mind, yet the pushed and ambled across his vision despite his will against it.

"Please, please... don't do it, don't... don't kill me."

"Mama... papa...?"

Suspiring so heavily he felt as though he were hyperventilating, he dove for the first bench in the park that his eyes caught sight of. He wanted to hide from the memories, hide from the faces, hide from the accusatory words. He wanted to hide from his evil and his grandfather's lies. Curling up so that his arms wrapped around his raised legs and his head upon his knees, he shut himself from the world around him, but it did nothing for the thoughts circulating within. He wanted them to stop anything for them to stop. For the images to cease their glares and pointing of fingers, to forgo damning him to the horrid fate he knew that he deserved, yet feared in taking. The voices would not stop. He rocked back and forth, whispering for end to it all.

"Kill him!"

"He's only two years old!"

"Brother... brother!"

"You murderer, murderer!"

"They died a death meant for wretched men, instead of the sleep most hope for because of you."

"Murderer!"

"If you do not kill him then I will!"

"No! I will... I'll do it, but give me sometime alone."

"Monster!"

"Murderer!"

"Haku?" A hesitant sonorous voice cut through the darkness of his madness, forcing him to lean backward and open his eyes to the visitor. "Haku are you all right, is something... wrong?"

Swallowing hard -trying to fix his suddenly parched throat- as tears misted his vision, Haku replied almost inaudibly. "I've done something horrible, Rin." She would help him; she would take away this pain.

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Bursting through the large, dark, metal doors of Sesshoumaru's office, air puffing from her lungs and hair that long ago fell from her bun lay in a matted mess around her face from the sweat of her exertion.

Masking the start the entrance had caused his heart; Sesshoumaru looked up from his paper work only to find himself startling more. Never had he seen the, primp and proper Kagura look so disheveled in his entire life. No, he took that back, there was that time when he had been forced into the a mud fight by Miss proper -the nickname he had given to her when they were but children- to defend her honor. Apparently, Inuyasha had called her a nasty girl, being the gentleman, he claimed to be, Sesshoumaru gallantly stepped forward to teach his brother a lesson in manners. Really, he had only agreed just for the chance to shove some mud in his brother's face. In the end, more mud ended up on Kagura then the two brothers.

Standing slowly, from his leather seat, Sesshoumaru demanded steadily. "What happened to you?" If his enemies had lain a hand on her, then that enemy had just breathed his last. If it were an agent, then the same would be true, only the death would a take a bit more finesse and time to complete.

"No, of course not." Kagura snapped, agitated, and then clamed herself. Her nerves would not help in telling him this news. "I'm sorry." She said faintly, making way over toward him past his desk almost mechanically. "On the job, I found something out today." She threw out vaguely, trying to bide her time until the perfect way into telling came to mind.

Accreting her entire bearing, Sesshoumaru eyed her warily. Something happened; he could see it in the aversion of her gaze from his own. "What would that be?" If Kagura lied to him about this, he would grabbed her by the throat and force the truth from her! However harsh the action might seem, he would do it if only to keep her safe in the end. She was so stubborn at times that she was blinded to reason. It infuriated him, and at the same time challenged his own wit.

"I heard it said that Inuyasha's pent house had a bomb planted in it and-" the words were hardly out of her mouth before she was held tightly in Sesshoumaru's grasp.

"Which one, and how long ago?" He demanded his tone a harsh growl as his eyes bore molten lava into her own. It was a frightening sight, and it took all of her strength not to shrink back in fear. Seeing this, Sesshoumaru loosened his hold, but did not let her go, as he tried valiantly to soften his eyes. "Tell me please." He said, making his tone a whisper in hopes of hiding the force behind it. A worried brother's force and though he may act as though Inuyasha were naught more then a bother to look after, he still cared. The hanyou was all that he really had left of his family. Already he had lost two mothers and a father, did he really need a brother added to the list. Granted he was only a half-brother, but did that really matter? Bonkotsu had said that there was plot against Inuyasha, that a man had been following him, that they planned his execution however he had also found legitimate proof that the spy had failed and so cursed himself for not being so thorough. In this line of work, such an action of miss calculation could cost dearly, and it did.

Grabbing her wits about herself, Kagura replied just as faint. "The one in Kyoto, about three hours ago. A call came in, it's how we knew."

Slowly Sesshoumaru nodded, drawing his limbs away from her arms, and with his immeasurable speeds dashed from her and through the double doors of his office. The only tell-tell signs that he had walked out the door and not vanished in to thin air were the slight shift in the breeze and the still vibrating doors that had been slammed shut. Waking from the daze his abrupt departure left, Kagura made to follow him, knowing the comfort he would need later least a blood bath be formed from any who treaded dangerously on his thinly laid façade. It had been the same for his mother.

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It was unusual for the streets of Kyoto to be this calm, to have but a few beings traversing its sidewalks and ridding its rode ways. The sun was setting beyond the western horizon, causing the sky to appear as though it had an angry open wound. Never had Miroku seen such dark reds in a sunset before, it made it all the more beautiful to look at. He slowed his steps that much fewer, wanting to savior this moment knowing, as he knew the trouble he was in with Inuyasha. It was not really that knowledge that dreaded his heart so, but that the dog could find out the true relations between Kagome, Souta, and himself. If that were to ever happen, he would be a dead man, and who would help his siblings then? Who would protect them? He certainly could not place the whole burden upon Sango's shoulders, knowing that if he were to ask it she would bare the responsibility upon her back without complaint. It was not hers to bear.

Looking down at the dark haired cinnamon-eyed woman at his side, Miroku said airily, to hide his thoughts. "You did not have to come with me, you know, I would have made it fine on my own." Normally he would have used this point in their walk to make a less then noble comment, perhaps woe her, a bit with his beautifully constructed sentences, made to charm any woman guaranteed. His thought pattern did not allow him the will for it, the want, or the strength.

"Do you want me to leave?" She challenged dangerously, and it was in the hidden notes of her tone that he realized a mistake had been made.

He shook his head vigorously against it, quickly gabbing up her hand. "And have you deprive me the company of a lady; never!" Then, he brushed his lips against her knuckles. Perhaps he was not entirely too distracted for such commentary.

"Maybe I should leave," muttered Sango as she took her hand away.

Miroku only smiled, turning to face the apartment building. He would visit his brother and sister before hunting his partner down for their talk. A talk he really did not want to have. Bang! The harsh sound ricocheted around the nearly deserted street, freezing Miroku's heart to such a painful clarity as the scene slowly unfolded for his eyes. Flames billowed out from the top story window, bursting glass and causing it to rain down on unsuspecting side walkers. Miroku ignored all of this, rushing as fast as his feet could carry him into the building, glass bleeding his flesh as they streaked sharp edges across his exposed skin.

He had to get inside, it was not too late and he could still save them. Kagome and Souta were fine and all he had to do was rush in their and bring them out, just as he had when 'his' men broke into their shrine home. Hands grasped a hold of his shirt and pulled him back, and another enclosed around his forearm, but he would not be deterred. Miroku was the big brother, the protector and he would not fail them when he had promised to keep them safe. Pushing against whatever held him steadfast, he tried to move on. Nothing except his destination existed for him, that, and the pain that was ripping his chest to tiny shreds. More hands grabbed at him, keeping back. Miroku shoved more, he had to save them, and he would not allow anything to get in the way of that. He would not lose everything that mattered to him and he would not break the vow that he had made his siblings.

Why would they not let him move, could not they see he needed to go? He needed to be inside that penthouse to bring Kagome and Souta from the burning building, not down here fighting for freedom of movement. A sharp sting across the cheek brought him from the madness he had fallen under and with a blink and look around he saw a few cops on each of his arms and Sango holding his middle tight. He noticed the fire engine and ambulance, saw the rush of men going in and out of the building and hoses shooting water at the fire to douse the raging flames.

Miroku fell to his knees, Sango with him, still holding tight. The police gave him uneasy looks before leaving the two to grieve in peace. Miroku felt something building up with in his chest, pushing against his eyes, burning, and soon he found himself a rush with tears. He could not make them stop no matter the amount of force he placed into it. They were gone, his siblings, the only family he had left burned up in the flames.

Someone had just taken his bleeding heart from the protective care of his ribcage, and shredded the origin before his very eyes. Horrid scream wretched itself from his parted lips as he curled in on himself in pain, while Sango could only sit by helplessly while a piece of her savior withered away and died.



A/N:

I apologize deeply for the horrid cliff hanger, however it was important to the story to leave it this way so I hope you all can find it in your hearts to forgive me… if you can't then I hope to survive the death glares I'm sure your all directing at the screen hoping to fry me to a crisp.

Is it getting hot in here… or is that just me?

Anyway the next chapter might be a little bit in coming, like a week cause I haven't quite come up with anything I like, though I do have something great in mind. Of that, I can assure you! ^_^ I just want everything to be really good for you guys ^_^

Hope you all enjoy this chapter, and review! Oh and the peoples whom have asked me about Rin/Sesshy pairings in another fic, well all of my fics except this one are Sesshy and Rin so go check them out if you'd like! And if you see any mistakes let me now and I'll fix em.

Reviews:

Anglestars- Thank you, I'm really glad that I picked it back up as well. As for the plot (grins) I've got a very twisted plot in mind… I doubt that anyone will be able to guess were I'm going with it… well maybe some might.


~Zonza