InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ I Can't Love You Like This ❯ Chapter 9

Author Note: I've almost recovered, just a few more days and I'll be as good as new again. For this chapter I was struck by inspiration late one night, it's always when I have to go to bed or really late at night when I'm working on something else that I get good ideas lately. Since I haven't written any steamy scenes in a while I really wanted to go back and do something I hadn't done before. This is it. If you like it, please tell me.

 

Summary: In order to escape his sinful love he tried to destroy them. Now he tries to create a future where they can be together, and amend what he have done.

 

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha. I don't get anything for my work.

 

Pairing/Rating: Sesshoumaru/InuYasha. Mature readers only since it contains serious subjects.

 

Warning: Incest, non-con/rape, m/m, anal, oral, solo, voyeurism, foul languish, death wish. Etc.

 

Read, Enjoy & Review.

 

I Can't Love You Like This

By Monkan

 

Chapter 9

 

“What?” whispered Kagome in chock.

 

InuYasha looked up from the floor and into her eyes. “I want to break up.”

 

It took her a while before she regained her voice. “Why?” she couldn't believe what was happening. InuYasha had called her out at her home and she had been over joyed that he was there but this wasn't what she had expected. Her heart shattered in her chest.

 

“It would be cruel to you if this relationship continued.”

 

“But why?” she cried. “We were so happy until yesterday.”

 

He shook his head. “Only you thought that. I tried but I can't keep this up anymore. I'm sorry.” he turned to leave when her voice stopped him.

 

“Is there someone else? Is that it? You found someone else?” she didn't really want the answer but needed to hear it.

 

He hesitated, opened his mouth before closing it again. “No. I didn't find someone else.” she felt a tingle of relief in her sadness. “Someone was there all the time, I just didn't realize it until now.”

 

InuYasha left Kagome in her heartbreak. Not looking back nor regretting his actions. He felt sorry for her, for being used by him up until now but it didn't change that he once HAD loved her. Although his feelings were stronger for someone else, a storm of feelings he couldn't suppress anymore, his feelings for her had been true when he was ignorant.

 

-o-o-o-o-

 

The hot water ran down his skin and embraced him in a cloud of warm mist. His white hair were soaked to their roots and lay back against his skull and neck. He ran his hands over it and pressed the water out of it only to let it soak up the same amount as soon as his hands passed. The remains of foam lingered in the shower drain.

 

He bend on leg slightly while resting his hands against his neck, arching his back he faced the warm water with his eyes closed. It caressed his face and he just stood like that. His body relaxing in the warmth and nothing could bother him. Well... almost nothing.

 

He lowered his arms and stood back so the water only hit his chest and washed the rest of his body.

 

Lately he had thought about things and something had re-occurred in his mind, a tiny thought but it had grown stronger. He shut off the water and stood still, letting the water drip from his body, trying to decide how to approach it with InuYasha.

 

-o-o-o-o-

 

“I've finished my homework.” said InuYasha. With a major test coming up, studying after school was something needed even for someone that had good scores. Sometimes he got so frustrated with school and all the work they seemed to want them to learn. But then again, he was living under the roof with a rumored genius. Even kids his age and lower knew of his brother and since he had come to pick him up at school they had even pestered him more, mostly girls.... but even some guys. Making his jealousy rise to the surface.

 

Sesshoumaru raised his head and smiled, a smile that only InuYasha were granted, he raised his hand and motioned for InuYasha to come closer. When he could take the others hand he was pulled down into the others lap. Snuggling together, the brothers ignored the buzzing TV and simply enjoyed each others presence.

 

InuYasha shifted to get a little more comfortable and he accidentally came chest to back and felt Sesshoumaru's private parts against his buttocks. He wriggled to get away he didn't mean to stimulate them both but the consequences were hard to avoid.

 

Sesshoumaru's hand came up to rest on his hip and held him still so he could enjoy the moment. He pressed his lips against InuYasha's shoulder, his heart racing and his desire flared inside.

 

His arms wrapped around the younger man's waist and his breath brushed against the plain shirt that covered the shoulder.

 

The teen bit the inside of his mouth to keep the boiling feelings inside. He couldn't understand it. His body were wracked with want and need. His blood were burning, his body aching for more. He could feel how his body craved for a far more intimate contact, something they hadn't done since that night. He had never felt anything like that before, so blinding and complete want.

 

“InuYasha.” whispered Sesshoumaru heatedly. His voice sending shivers down the others spine. “InuYasha.”

 

“Ah.” he whimpered frailly, head falling back to rest against the one behind him.

 

“InuYasha. I have a wish.” he said breaking through the daze of lust.

 

The younger one tried to look at the other but all he saw was a blur of colors from where he was. “What?”

 

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. “I want you to take me.”

 

“Wha-?” he blinked. “Why?”

 

As if finding new courage he explained, “I want you to make me yours. I want you to have me like I had you. I want us to be equal and that won't happen until I submit to you.” his eyes closed as he remembered that night. “I want us to be lovers. I want to make love to you. I want to love you freely and I want everything about you but as long as my crimes goes unpunished that can never happen. Even if... even though you say you forgive me I can't feel that I've forgiven myself. So please.” feeling the growing wetness in his eyes he refused to open them. “Please make me yours tonight.”

 

InuYasha sat still and for a while Sesshoumaru wasn't sure what was going to happen. Each second felt agonizing long but he didn't dare break the silence or InuYasha's thoughts.

 

“Ok.”

 

He felt something lift from his soul, a burden he hadn't been completely aware of and with careful movement he raised them up from the couch and moved them away from the living room. Out in the hall he lead them past InuYasha's door and continued down the path. Turning a corner they came to stand outside Sesshoumaru's room.

 

He turned to his younger brother and raised their hands to his mouth, kissing them. “Are you sure?”

 

“Yes.” nodded InuYasha calmly but inside he was nervous.

 

The door opened soundlessly and presented it's grace to him. Just standing in the doorway made it clear to the younger sibling that he hadn't been inside this room, or even looked inside, for a very long time. He had thought that it would reflect his earlier assumptions about his brother before all this 'love' unfolded. A plain or cold room with just books and a few other things, no color or flavor. A very cold and neat room.

 

But he was greatly mistaken. Of course there were books in the room, a great more than he could had guessed. A whole bookshelf that took up a whole wall, overfilled with all kinds of books. Some just plain and boring, other even catching his eye from far away. Lines of titles and there were even piles on the top of the shelf. Warm. That was a word that described the room. The color were of the late autumn but still a heart warming color, the desk were a plain dark oak wood which protected a number of papers, the lap top, pencils collected in a cup. A chair in the same wood but with cushions covering the seat and back stood neatly in front of it. At the corner stood a photo frame which looked old and worn. There were some cloths that lay in a heap at the corner of the room, which was something he hadn't expected. At the opposite wall from the only large window in the room, which had a shifting color of yellow, orange and even some brown flowing across them covered the glass panels that separated them from the outside world. At the other side stood a bed, not an average bed for one person but a king-size bed with linen of pale white. The top was covered by two pillows that looked washed out. A very warm room that welcomed them in.

 

Sesshoumaru walked inside first and with their hands still holding on to each other, InuYasha followed right after. Even the air in the room that assaulted his nose were his brothers sent.

 

It all made him dizzy but not unaware of his actions even if it acted like a drug on him.

 

When they were close to the bed he let go of the hand and while standing behind his elder brother he took a hold of the others shirt, pulled it up over his waist and continued to pull it of him until he stood with his upper body naked. He let the shirt fall to the ground next to them as he with tender touches reached up to Sesshoumaru's back. The skin under his fingertips were soft and even just by looking at the back of him you could tell he had an impressive body. Not overly muscled with power but lean and strong, a body you could rely on. It could even be called beautiful but to this beauty were a flaw. Thin and almost transparent scars ran across his skin. The remaining story of an abuse child.

 

InuYasha leaned forward and softly kissed one of the many scars running down his back. Even when he looked at them he couldn't feel anger or hatred but he loved even this imperfection on his brother. These were the scars that could and would had marred his own body had not his brother protected and taken his place. It didn't mean he himself didn't have any scars from that time but Sesshoumaru had probably saved his life countless times.

 

His hands caressed his back up and down and out to his sides as he placed kisses all over his back before going higher to his neck and shoulders. His lips trailed over the smooth skin and randomly placed a seal of his affection. His fingers traveled down to his sides before crossing the border and went forward to his chest.

 

Sesshoumaru just stood there, relaxing into the ministration of InuYasha. His body felt flush where InuYasha had touched him but he didn't touch him in return. The hands came up to his chest and ran over his nipples before one came back while the other reached for his collarbone. Two fingers trailed around the hardening nub before touching it gently once more, making Sesshoumaru hiss in desire. InuYasha's lips finally revealed his teeth and he nibbled across the shoulder up to his neck.

 

When his touch finally drew the first groan from Sesshoumaru his hand stopped what they were doing and worked their way lower, massaging the flesh of well toned abs and a flat stomach. His hands came to the rim of his pants and stopped, hesitated for a moment before beginning to work on the button and zipper. His fingers very often brushed against his flushed flesh that lay hidden under the material, leaving Sesshoumaru to bit on his lower lip to keep his gasps in and couldn't suppress the shivers running across his body.

 

He hadn't known it could be like this. That foreplay could be so sensual, so erotic. His breath came in deep gasps now and he tried to hang into his self-control. Not to let himself throw InuYasha on the bed and have his way with him. This was InuYasha's night and he were going to feel everything he received. Even the pain.

 

He was startled out of his thoughts as his pants were pushed down his hip to pool around his ankles. The hands worked over his boxers and when they found his erection, began to tease him again. Making him throw his head back in a throaty groan.

 

When suddenly the hands found their way inside his boxers he lost all coherent thoughts and speech. His hand took a hold on one of InuYasha's as he let out a breath and soft whimper with it but his grip were so lose it didn't matter as his flesh was stroked in a steady rhythm. He vaguely felt InuYasha's crotch pressed against his backside and the evidence of his arousal.

 

Without really thinking he began to press back, almost as if he was dancing, swaying and grinding his hips against him. He didn't know how but his head cleared a little and with much will and strength he broke free and turned around.

 

Although it didn't stop InuYasha's hand from finding the front of his boxers again when they stood face to face. Their lust-filled eyes locked together and both were captured by each other. Sesshoumaru was the first to lean forward and press his lips against InuYasha's. It was a quick lip lock that lead to a second one.

 

They began a fierce battle and InuYasha was barely aware that he was being stripped of his own cloths. Not that it meant he felt ashamed or inferior at the moment. When Sesshoumaru pulled back he fell to his knees and at the same time pulled down his briefs.

 

The proud flesh that were presented to him made his eyes linger and even if it wasn't something he was used to seeing since he too was a man, he found himself admiring it. Sesshoumaru lifted one hand and cradled it in his hand before he brought his face closer so he could touch it, smell it, sense it.

 

His tongue opened and a wet tongue traveled up the hard flesh and his action was rewarded by a harsh gasp and a thrust of the hips of the owner. He didn't really like the taste but it mattered little if it meant giving InuYasha pleasure.

 

Taking a step back was all InuYasha could do to create distance between them. His breath fast as his mind swirled with his arousal. He helped Sesshoumaru up and together they walked the short distance to the bed. For once he was the one pushing the other down and the short rush of power coursed through him like wild fire, dying just as fast.

 

He straddled only one leg as he helped pulling the only article of cloth from his brothers body. What presented itself to him made his eyes go wide. If he had thought his brother was magnificent before then it was nothing short of what he was now.

 

He himself wasn't badly gifted in his more private parts but when he compared it to Sesshoumaru it was clear someone was blessed. The thought that coursed through his mind was that THAT shaft had been inside him and just by seeing it in all its glory he burned inside to have it once more. It should make him scared or hesitate since the first and last time it had entered him he had been raped but frankly it only made him more aroused.

 

He took it in his hand and pumped it once before doing it twice. Sesshoumaru groaned under him and his hand reached out for InuYasha. His back arched of the bed and into the hand that guided him slowly toward his end but he didn't want it to end like that, no. He needed more.

 

“InuYasha, please.” he begged while spreading his legs as wide as he could, one leg trapped under InuYasha. His face flushed and his eyes clear as he looked pleadingly at the other. “I want you.” his breathy plea came out.

 

InuYasha began to shake his head when suddenly something came to mind. His own past experience wasn't something he wanted to pass on, even if Sesshoumaru would had taken it without fighting back.

 

No. The nightmare would end here. He crawled of the bed and walked out the room, leaving a confused Sesshoumaru behind. It only took him a moment to figure out what InuYasha was up to and scolded himself for being stupid and forgetting.

 

When he returned with something in his hand he found that his older brother had turned around on his stomach and was gently rocking as if to give him stimulation he forbid himself.

 

When InuYasha's hand touched his leg he was startled but calmed down the next moment.

 

“Relax.” said InuYasha as he flipped open the tube and poured a little of the transparent oil in his hand. He put the tube down on the bed next to him and crawled between Sesshoumaru's legs which he spread willingly.

 

InuYasha's empty hand came up and touched the skin and just that simple touch made the elder male jump a little. His touch was gentle and reassuring. He parted his cheeks until he could see the small hole hidden there. It was only then that he removed his hand, brought them together and smeared the oil over his fingers.

 

Sesshoumaru's buttocks were parted once more but this time a cold wet finger pressed against his entrance. The unfamiliar feeling made him tense up but he forced his muscles to relax. It was a strange feeling to have someone else touching him in that place but at the same time he couldn't deny that it made him excited.

 

The first intrusion made him uncomfortable. It started with just one oiled fingertip before the whole finger were pushed inside him. His muscles clamped down on it and he couldn't help his reaction to trying to push it out again. It was tight, so very tight that he began to dread the whole thing. How the hell were he to get all of InuYasha's length inside when he barely could stand one finger. This only made him realize his own horrible actions toward his younger sibling. It all came into a new perspective and the sadness over his own brutality were tearing at his soul.

 

The sudden thrust of the finger made his grip on the sheets tighter as he took steady breaths and tried to seek what pleasure others obviously had found in this act. The oil coated his insides but it took a couple of minutes until the finger smoothly went in and out.

 

InuYasha pulled out his finger so the tip only touched the ring of muscles. Sesshoumaru thought for a while that maybe he could do this when suddenly he felt two fingers pushing inside him and the intrusion almost overwhelmed him, the pain of being stretched was horrible and his muscles tried to object despite his attempts to keep them calm. His nail almost broke the sheets as he arched his back. When the shock finally laid itself he were breathing heavily and sweating. His brow tightly knotted into a frown his shoulders rose and fell with every breath.

 

“You alright?” InuYasha asked.

 

Sesshoumaru could only nod, not trusting his voice to betray him and the pain he felt. When the fingers pulled out a little and the in again he couldn't hide his discomfort but did his best to hide it as pleasure. He racked with a burning pain with each thrust inside him. If it hadn't been for the oil he no doubt would had been a sobbing child again. The liquid substance eased the path and soothed him as it had been warmed from his body heat.

 

He didn't know how long it went on but it felt like an eternity before InuYasha's fingers stilled and he leaned over him. “I'm sorry.” were whispered into his ear. “Bear with it for now.” and the fingers scissored inside him, stretching him in a way he wasn't prepared.

 

After flexing his fingers to edge the opening more wide he pulled out. InuYasha took the tube once more and pushed more oil onto his hand, it dripped onto the sheets and smeared when it came into contact with them. InuYasha rubbed his hands together to add the oil equally over his fingers and hands.

 

He returned his attention back to the sweating body before him. He knew it hurt, he could see it past Sesshoumaru's proud defense and it made him sad.

 

The older of them tried to gather his wits as he lay waiting for what was next. They had only made it past two fingers and he were ready to break. The idea of asking InuYasha to just take him was tempting but he also knew that if he did then the pain would be far worse unless he was prepared properly. He felt himself spread once more and this time knew what was coming when he felt three fingers tease at his opening, all of them slick with oil that ran down his skin. But even though he knew they were coming he couldn't prepare himself for what it brought.

 

He let out a cry as tears sprung to his eyes and his mind went blank with a hot white shot of pain. He couldn't get used. No matter how he braced himself he couldn't get past the pain it brought. He did his best to resist the impulse to get away from it and hold still, to let it past but it was damn near impossible. His body trembled and more sweat appeared on his body.

 

When the thrusts began again he could no longer hide the pain he felt and each groan was soaked in his agony.

 

He crawled on top of his knees and didn't know if he was trying to get away or push back against the fingers. Nothing made sense anymore, how could anyone find any pleasure in this. It was the most horrible thing he had ever experienced.

 

InuYasha was desperate. No matter what he did his touch only brought pain to the other and it hurt him as well. He scissored his fingers once more but only got a hiss in return. This was being more and more like a punishment than he wanted. Wasn't he able to bring any pleasure at all.

 

It was then when he twisted his fingers that he struck something inside Sesshoumaru. With a surprised gasp and a shuddering of pure pleasure he thrust his hips back almost violently. His head that had almost fallen back to the bed while his hips were high up in the air shot back up with the sudden rush.

 

InuYasha curled his fingers, trying to find the spot once more and he wasn't disappointed when he received an almost identical response the second time. The sounds Sesshoumaru let out were of pure bliss, asking him to give him more of this addicting feeling and who were he to refuse.

 

With each thrust, each pumping of his fingers he brushed against the spot inside his brother and was given an almost purring response. He teased the other, tortured him with pleasure and stretched him far more than he thought could when he used only one finger.

 

After an eternity and Sesshoumaru was nearly coming he pulled out and sat back to watch his handiwork.

 

Sesshoumaru complained in a cry at the sudden loss of contact. His ass wriggled and moved seductively in the air, trying to tempt him. His whole body was covered in a heavy sheet of sweat and his whole body trembled in obvious want and need. Desire and lust. Love and passion. He let out a keening sound as if he was begging.

 

InuYasha was now also rock hard and his length was weeping for release. He never would had thought it possible to get him this far just by touching and looking at another.

 

The tube which had fallen a bit away by their actions was playing hard to get but InuYasha grabbed it so hard he almost squeezed out the content. His hands trembled as he poured a far more generous amount in his hand. The cold touched his skin and it contrasted with the rest of him but his need far surpassed the difference in temperature and he coated himself with the oil. He shivered at the cold but good feeling. He spread his pre-cum over the tip along with the oil. His hips thrust into his hand and he found it difficult to hold back.

 

When he thought he had done enough he crawled up behind Sesshoumaru, his shaft twitching in anticipation and as he aligned himself against the opening he accidentally pushed a little inside, just the tip before he regained himself but it was enough to draw Sesshoumaru's attention to him and felt the other push back against him, trying to take him deeper.

 

The sight of his brother on all four before him was a very amazing sight indeed. How his head threw back and his back ached with desire for what was to come. He would never had dreamed something like this would ever happen.

 

He took a hold of Sesshoumaru's hips and carefully started to push inside. His breath became painful in his throat at the feeling of the tight channel closing around him, holding him, embracing him, trying to draw him deeply inside and make him spill himself. His eyes slowly closed the deeper he pushed and when he was finally all the way inside he let out a breath and opened his eyes.

 

The very sight before him, his brother impaled on his shaft almost made him cum. He felt how he jerked once and some of his seed spilled forth like a pre-teen with his first wet dream. His head lowered fast as he fought for control. Sesshoumaru moaned beneath him at the new feeling and loved every bit of it.

 

The previous experience of pain was long forgotten from his memory. All he could feel now was pleasure upon pleasure. The building up for his release were slowly but strongly coming inside him and it took his breath away.

 

When the first thrust came he cried out, unable to hold his voice in he cried out with each thrust and movement he were given. He pushed back and shifted his hips to give it more power. He felt that spot inside him being brushed ever so often and it sent sparks flying through him.

 

InuYasha reached forward and held Sesshoumaru around his waist while thrusting in and out. His pace unsteady and shifted in strength and speed but it didn't take long before he were slamming himself against his brother. His rational thoughts were gone and all he knew was the need to go faster and deeper.

 

The same were for Sesshoumaru. His legs had long since been spread apart to where his limit from falling were. All he wanted was to feel InuYasha deeper inside than the previous thrust. He was being taken hard and forcibly and he liked every bit of it. The feeling of being ridden by someone, and just not anyone; InuYasha at that, was beyond what he could had hoped for.

 

But as he hoped this would never end it all came rushing all to soon.

 

His release came crashing upon him in hard waves and as his muscles crushed around the hard flesh inside him he shot his own seed over the covers beneath him. Shivering, trembling as he spilled himself from an impossible height he had never known.

 

When his shaft were suddenly and forcefully squeezed there was nothing else that he needed for his cum to shot forward. He let out a howl as he pushed as deep as he could get and released hot waves of cum inside his brother. His essence spilled inside the bowls of the other and he knew of no greater moment than this.

 

Time seemed to have stopped for that moment. Nothing could come between them or surpass that moment. His length twitched and shuddered as it gave the last of what it could give. His body lost all of it strength to hold it up but he refused to fall.

 

They stayed like that, InuYasha holding onto the moment while Sesshoumaru marveled at the feeling that passed over him.

 

Their limbs couldn't carry them anymore and they fell to the bed, InuYasha on top of Sesshoumaru and still buried inside. Both were breathing hard and tried to regain the world around them and each other.

 

The way he lay on the other wasn't very comfortable so when he shifted slightly he slipped out from the other and he whimpered at the lost feeling, instantly regretting it. He sat back up to move aside when he saw once more something he would never forget.

 

Sesshoumaru lay on his stomach, body flushed and spent while covered in sweat. His legs spread with his seed starting to leak from his opening. His face were turned sideway and his eyes were staring glazed at the side of the bed next to him. His lips were slightly parted as he drew his breath as if it were his first.

 

It was absolutely the most sensual but also beautiful image he had ever seen his whole life. Nothing would ever make him forget this moment, this minute, this very second.

 

When he laid down beside Sesshoumaru he was given a satisfied smile that he returned. They just laid there next to each other, not speaking or moving. Only gazing at each other as if their secret were finally complete. That there were nothing that could come between them now.

 

“I can feel you inside.” whispered Sesshoumaru, his eyes starting to close. “You are so warm.”

 

InuYasha smiled as he wrapped them under the blanket to keep their cooling bodies from catching a cold. “If it means you belong to me then I will give you as much of the warmth as you want.” he said truthfully. “I never want us to be apart. Never.”

 

“We won't.” his eyes were close to being shut but he still held on if only for a moment more. “Now I belong to you as much as you belong to me. No one will ever be able to take your place in my heart.” he finally lost the battle and his eyes closed. “I love you.” he whispered.

 

“I love you too.” whispered InuYasha, “Now and forever.”

 

But if Sesshoumaru had heard his words he didn't know because he was already asleep and soon after InuYasha followed him into the realm of dreams where they dreamed of holding each other through the night, peacefully.

 

To Be Continued.