One day, a teary farewell, and a ride in moving truck with an American named "Gus" later, Kagome found herself in her new home. Due to campus housing limitations she had to get her own apartment. It was only a block away from school (which was good because she had spent all her money on tuition and couldn't afford a car) and was on the 13th floor of a massive apartment building. The building's owner was superstitious so instead of calling the 13th floor the 13th floor he called it the 14th floor. He believed the number 13 to be unlucky so he just skipped that number when he placed the labels on the elevator building.
It had taken Kagome half an hour and a trip to the manager to figure out that she technically lived on the 14th floor.
The apartment was unfurnished. But thanks to her arrival it was now decorated with random bits of furniture and scattered piles of cardboard boxes. Her mother had let her take a little bit of everything so she would be prepared in her new home.
The apartment had been the cheapest she could find. It was a one bedroom, one bath and smelled of old people. Walls and floors met in beige rainbows and the only thing that broke the pattern of colored blandness was the amazingly numerous amounts of burns and stains. They seemed to start at one corner and make their way to another, never taking a break. They lead into the bedroom, back into the living room, then to the bathroom, and eventually went into the kitchen.
The apartment was large by Tokyo standards. There seemed to be massive amounts of room in the living room and kitchen, and there was even a large tub in the bathroom. The only room that seemed to lack in size was what was to be her bedroom. The room looked barely enough to fit her bed, maybe a dresser, and a lamp. Not only was the beige bedroom tiny but it was also drafty. There were two windows in the room. Correction, there was one window and a space for another window. The window just opposite from the door to the room was completely missing.
Sigh. 'This is what you get from apartment shopping on the Internet,' Kagome thought. "Razza-fraggin-no good internet apartments-lying-cheating jerks-take my money-the ninnies-dolts-"
Her tirade of not so obscene curses was cut short by an intense pounding.
She waited a moment but the pounding continued. It took her a moment before she figured out that it was someone at the door. 'Its been a loooong day...,' she thought to herself for her ability not to recognize the sound of knocking. She shook her head absentmindedly and walked towards the door.
The sight to meet her was something less than pleasant. Tony Moto, an Italian-Japanese man who had the superpower of being able to show body hair no matter what shirt he wore, was waiting for her with a broad grin spread across his chubby face. She had met Mr. Moto on her quest for the 13th floor.
He was a heavy, middle aged man who seemed to think that he had some sort of sexual appeal while while wearing thin white t-shirts that clung to every roll of body and allowed one to see the outlines of each hair that decorated his body. If that wasn't attractive enough one could gaze upon the tight gray sweatpants that enfolded his lower half. In the short time that they had met and she had gathered building floor information he had rearranged himself about five times. And each time he fixed himself he had given a sort of grunt.
And now here he was grinning widely at her in her own doorway.
He had something green in his teeth.
"Hello Mr. Moto," Kagome said and bowed her head in respect towards her landlord.
"Aww lets not start out on the Mister and Misses shit, Kagome! Its Tony!" Tony let himself in, bumping into Kagome, and beamed to himself at what parts he had 'accidentally' bumped into. "Welcome to your new home!"
He stood in the center of her living room and looked around the beige and brown room and laughed. "You brought a little bit of everything didn't you? Harharharhar. The Matsushinas, the tenants before for you were real swingers if you know what it mean!" With this he graced Kagome with a wink and proceeded to adjusted himself.
Adjustment number one.
"Yep, those Matsushinas were really crazy people. Couldn't pay their rent on time, but they threw some CRAZY parties! I remember one time...," at this point Kagome began to fade out. Images of Carl from that Adult Swim show she used to watch at home began to intrude upon her mind and she noted how many similarities they had. Both were balding, chubby men with obnoxious body hair, a gold chain, and a sliver of gut that hung just below his shirt. As she was looking at him through Carlvision he brought his hands up to his chest like he was pretending to be carrying something large, " and that Mrs. Matsushinas has some great..."
"CARL!" Kagome yelled out angrily. Tony's expression instantly went from elation to extreme confusion. "Err... Sorry. I mean Mr. M.. Tony. Was there any reason you came up to see me? I know you must be busy and I have a lot of unpacking to do." She added an uncomfortable chuckle and gestured towards the nearby boxes.
Adjustment number two.
"Carl huh? Must be a boyfriend." He scowled at this, "I don't want you doing nothing nasty in here you got me? This is a respectable joint! A real classy place." He waved his index finger at Kagome for emphasis. "I just came up here to lay down some of our fine establishment rules and collect your first month's rent." Kagome nodded went to find her purse.
"There's not a lot of rules here," he continued as she searched for the money. "Rent is due on the first of the month. No exceptions. Unless you come directly to me, then we might be able to work something out." Oddly long pause, "no strange or obnoxious visitors. Remember: We're a class establishment." At this point Kagome noticed that when he talked the chest hairs that stuck out from the collar of his T-shirt bounced. It was like, with each breath, they were given the gift of life and danced a merry dance of joy! "If I find out that there was a party given here that I didn't know about there will be hell to pay! And if you find anyone in this building doing any types of illegal drugs you come directly to me and you let me know!" Deep breath in and out, happy hairs. "By the way you don't do drugs.... do you?"
Happy, dancing hairs. Mesmerizing hairs. Big black chest hair doing their triumphal dance of life. Up and down. Left and right..
"Kagome?"
"NO! I mean yes! I mean.. What?"
Tony laughed. He nodded an understanding nod. "I got you babe." He made the dueling guns sign to her with his hands. "I'll get outta here now if you got your money. You wouldn't believe how many people need their manager in this damn hellhole."
Adjustment number three.
"He. He. He. Um...Here's your money." She handed the money to Tony carefully. She made sure not to let their hands touch.
"Thank you Kagome! Remember you can come see me anytime you need me. I'm either in the main office or in my apartment 1D. Feel free to come see me anytime," his eyes lingered over Kagome, "for any reason. I got ya covered babe."
"Th...anks Tony."
"Anytime kid!" and with a parting wave and a wink he turned and walked towards the door. Back hairs that were twins to the front waved their own farewell and left.
"SHEW," Kagome breathed as he left. Her knees gave out from under her and she collapsed onto the floor. A feeling of bliss overcame her that the obnoxious man was gone. The feeling came and shattered as she remembered she forgot to ask about her bedroom window.
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If anyone likes my story well enough to offer to be my checker I would appreciate it. I go over it as best I can, but I still leave some stuff I know. Anyways thanks for reading! please review!
