InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ If You Are Not The One ❯ Are you leaving or you gonna stay? ( Chapter 28 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

IF YOU ARE NOT THE ONE

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Are you leaving or you gonna stay?

You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see?

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay

-Let love In By Goo Goo Dolls-

“Sakura speak to me!” He grabbed her wrist harshly without really indenting to force her to listen. “Why do you continue to ignore me?” He frantically looked for something buried in her eyes, desperate for an emotion that would explain her sudden senseless actions.

Kagome closed her eyes shut to hold back a few tears and yanked her hand from his grasp, hiding her swollen eyes. “I already told you its useless, I've made up my mind and nothing you say will convince me to stay.” She responded and got back to packing her suitcase as he remained glued there motionless to the floor. Inuyasha stood there for about five minutes, somewhere on the edge of losing his mind over the reality he'd thought he would never have to face again. He understood exactly what was going on; she was leaving him and never coming back.

It was déjà vu; like Kikyou allover again.

“Why are you acting this way? What did I do wrong?” He whispered and watched helplessly as she took some clothes from hangers in her closet and folded them before placing them neatly in her suitcase.

Kagome frowned immediately; she had avoided those very questions all day. “Look I can't be seeing you anymore; we can't both pretend this is going to work out.” She lied, attempting to provide a reason that would suffice.

“But you can't quit without an explanation, not now when I need you!” She knew the only reason why Inuyasha had driven her home from work, was to obtain a real enlightenment for her unanticipated resigning. Nonetheless she refused to answer him directly. Inuyasha couldn't understand what had caused her to decide upon her departure. Though it had taken sometime to admit it, Kagome had grown on him to the extend where it pained him to see her pack her suitcases that lay on her bed wide open, vulnerably watching as she tucked away his future; his heart.

“I'm leaving in a week, I'm not cut out for this city, and so I've decided to move on.” She blurted out stupidly without looking at his face, afraid that by just a glimpse she would change her mind.

He asked a little upset. “What's the hurry? Isn't it a bit too early to start packing your suitcases?” He was being sarcastic, or at least it was a sad attempt at being sarcastic. And thought he'd said it purely out of anger or sorrow, she felt his words sink into the pit of her stomach as she bit her bottom lip to hold back a sob. In her book, Inuyasha was never anything like Kouga; he was different, liberating, and the most handsome man she had ever laid eyes on. But though as amazing as it might sound in her head and as unbelievable as it may seem; she was not selfish enough to put her brother's life in danger just because she had fallen for her boss.

“I have a lot of stuff to put away.” Kagome finally said and continued empting her closet.

“Where will you be going?” His chest tightened at her hushed reply.

“Back home to Kyoto.” She mumbled heartbroken, deciding he could at least be trusted with the name of her destination.

Inuyasha placed a hand on her shoulder. “Sakura please don't go; don't leave me like this, whatever it is we can make this work. Think about what you're doing.” He rationalized; begging for her to stay, to change her mind though it was useless.

Kagome ignored him, walking back and forth while putting some random things into the suitcase, and then going back over her mental list. “I already talked to your brother; I will take my leave on Thursday morning.” Her shoulders slumped and he heard the high pitch to her voice, as if she was trying not to cry.

“What about the ball? I though you and I—”

She bravely turned around to face him so that he could see her now. “I can't go with you; but don't worry, I'll show up tomorrow night regardless."

“Give me a good reason why I shouldn't think that bastard of Sesshomaru has something do to with this.” He quickly added, anxious to know the truth she hid so poorly. “Tell me, did he say something to upset you?”

She objected thought she knew Sesshomaru had said a few things that had contributed to her hasty departure. “He has nothing to do with my decision okay. I've just realize that I don't want to attach myself to anyone; I'm not ready for commitment.” Kagome grabbed her favorite pair of jeans from a drawer and folded them carefully.

“So you're saying that night two days ago meant nothing to you?” Inuyasha asked angrily, not believing that she had led him on for no real reason.

Kagome dropped the pair of pants she was currently folding. “Please don't make me answer that. Maybe we should leave things the way they are Inuyasha, for the better.” She choked back a sob and bent down on the floor to pick up the jeans.

“It's too late for that.” Sighing pointedly, he held a poker face she could not decipher.

“What do you mean?” She asked somewhat confused at his tone of voice.

None of them spoke, both staring blankly away at what they most wanted, what they both needed so ardently yet could never have. For a second Kagome though she would blurb it all out, that she should tell him the truth. Knowing he deserved to know who she really was and how much she really cared. “I-I.” She tried to sum up the courage to say but finally decided against it before she committed another mistake, realizing that perhaps it was best if they left things between them the way they were without adding anymore complication.

He was restless, thinking of the smallest to largest details why he thought of her like no other. “…I think I've fallen in love with you.” Inuyasha acknowledged out loud for the first time in weeks. It only took him to know that she was leaving and possibly never coming back when he finally realized how much he truly cared for this woman, how much she meant to him.

She looked at him for what Inuyasha though was the longest moment of his life. “W-What?” The tears erupted from her eyes as his confession twisting her insides. She stared at him in pure disbelief.

“I said I love you,” He admitted a second time so confidently that it tore her heart in two.

Kagome shook her head violently and swallowed thickly. “No, stop making this harder—you don't love me; you can't mean that!” She cried unable to accept reality. It pained her to know what she would be leaving behind to only be killed afterwards without impeding it first, without fighting for its survival.

“And why the hell not?” He asked quickly, obviously hints of disappointment in his husky tone. He couldn't understand why she held back though it was visibly clear in her eyes how she strongly felt.

“I don't feel the same way about you.” She finally whispered in responce. Inuyasha continued to look at her, his gaze unwavering, before finally looking away and grunting.

“Don't say that, don't lie to me—” He felt an arrow piercing his heart at her words. He had practically poured his heart out to only be refused at first hand.

“Inuyasha why are you insisting on something we both know isn't true?” She tried to twist and turn things around.

He blinked. “What are you saying?” His voice was monotone, gloomy, like a poorly construed mask of sorrow.

“You love Kikyou not me and I can never compete with a ghost.” Kagome said as her vision blurred from the tears. He walked toward her, closing the distance between them quickly.

He took both her hands and gazed into her eyes. “Yes I do love Kikyou, I will never stop loving her, but my wife is dead. And it's you who has captivated me. How many times do you want me to explain it to you?” He went on. “You've taught me how to love again and I can't lose you like I lost her.” The fact that he had just gone from sounding so broken to so concerned finally shattered that last string of restraint in Kagome.

And reality once again consumed the girl. “I don't feel the same and its best if I did not, if we leave things the way they are then eventually you'll forget—”

He quickly interrupted her. “—then tell me what I have to do to make you love me?!” He pleaded like a little boy and pulled her into a strong embrace. What could he possibly do to make her stay? To make her see how much she had changed him, how much he yarned for her, how he loved every part of her soul and every line at the palm of her hand? How could he live without seeing her face again? How could he continue existing without missing the scent of her skin or the scarlett color of her pales cheaks? No! He could not bear to go through hell again, not if he could impede it first.

He squeezed his eyes intensely, unable to put up with the thought of losing her. For the first time in his life, Inuyasha was truly scared. Afraid of how he would not do so well on his own, not this time. If she left, she would take it all away; the peace, love, happiness and sunshine she had brought with her. But what he would yarn for above all else would be the fact that she brought out the best in him. The man who had died the day his wife had passed away and Kagome had awaken at her arrival.

She whimpered against his chest as his hold tightened all of a sudden. “I can't love you Inuyasha.” His heart stopped beating in his ribcage; it seemed like the whole world around them held its breath. Inuyasha felt like every muscle in his back tensed at once. He felt like time had stopped and everything around them had collapsed.

“Why do you continue to fight this when we both know it feels so right?” He urged on.

“Because I can't fall in love…especially with you.” She stifled a sob.

“I don't understand; what's wrong with me?” The way he said it so innocently and naively, it brought back the boy in him that he kept bottled inside and only Kagome had seen once or twice.

She smiled tenderly as more tears broke free. “Nothing's wrong with you silly; it's because I'm not worthy of you and you don't deserve someone like me.” Inuyasha watched as all the emotions came to head in Kagome's eyes. Could she not tell how much he loved her? That he could give the world to have her stay by his side? Hadn't the gods already taken enough from him?

Unable to hold back, he pressed his lips to hers demandingly; pushing her to the nearest wall unconsciously as their kiss deepened. For once, Kagome was glad for the support of the wall. She kissed him back just as fervently; with all the love in her heart as their lips crashed onto each other as if they had only moments to live. They both struggled to keep from being overwhelmed. He kissed her passionately, pouring into it every ounce of love in him, begging for her to stay. Their lips parted eventually and they both panted breathlessly, Kagome touched her bruised lips as he could only stare back.

He gently cradled her face in his hands as he whispered persistently. “Look at me straight in the eye and tell me you don't love me; I promise I'll stay away for good and I won't stop you from leaving.”

A tear rolled from her eyes to the peak of her chin as he forced her to look at him. “Leave Inuyasha.”

“Why should I?” If she left, if he allowed her to go; she would take a part of him with her and he would never again be the same.

“BecauseI don't love you and I never will.” There it was, the sentence he had been dreading since the minute he had realized how much she meant to him, and though she had not come out and said it directly, the hints were there all along and this time he could not dodge her denial. Automatically, he loosened his hold on her and gazed hard into her eyes to see if it was true; if she did not love him like he did so much it hurt. But the more he searched for the smallest significant glint of hope, the more he got lost in her oceanic depths. It was like Kagome had put up a barrier so she could no longer show her emotions through the mirror of her eyes, and so he rapidly understood she was trying her hardest at keeping him away.

Inuyasha slowly backed away and turned around.

Kagome counted every step he took towards the door of her bedroom, every footstep he distanced away from her denial and out of her reach. “Sakura, if I mean anything to you at all…please don't do this, don't go.” Kagome felt her heart shatter to a million of pieces as she saw him stand there by the door looking back his shoulders at her. She had not told him how much she loved him, she had left it out with many other things including the fact that he would die at Bankotsu's hands in a short matter of time unless it could be helped. But she couldn't warn him, not without evidence and currently she had no alibi to go by.

In spite of it all, she opened her mouth to say something and her hand reached for him to come back, but the words silently escaped her mouth and she could not say anything more except to apologize for her weakness.

“I'm sorry Inuyasha, but I don't have a choice.” She sobbed, covering her face when she heard him leave and shut the apartment door, and then Kagome crumbled to the floor weeping inconsolably.

**********

Souta crouched down on the floor with his back to Kagome's bedroom door. “Kagome please let me in.” He pleaded yet for the hundredth time. The minute he had entered the apartment after Inuyasha's departure, he had heard her suffering like he had never heard his sister cry in his life. It wounded him to hear her undergo such torment and misery, but before he could impede anymore tears from shedding she had quickly locked the door from letting him enter to her rescue.

What was up with his sister anyway? Ever since yesterday afternoon when she arrived home from work earlier than usual, Kagome had pulled out the suitcase under her bed and had started packing everything she could get a hold on. Hysterically crying and saying that they should pack their things and head home as soon as possible. If his calculations were right, something big had scared Kagome and now it was coming after her. And since he wasn't normally one to disappoint, he had started to get his duffle bag ready and then spent the whole night comforting her to fall asleep without weeping a water parade.

He had two theories: either she was in some kind of serious trouble or she had once again done the unavoidable, she had fallen in love.

“You've been in there for hours, Sango and Miroku will be back soon and you know just as well as I do that they can not see you like this.” He tried to convince her to come out, realizing this was just like the time when Kouga had sought out her forgiveness and the way she behaved when she had turned him down.

Souta knew his attempts were fruitless and all he could do was to continue hearing the uncontrollable way his sister sobbed on the other side of the door. “Sis, please don't do this to yourself. I can't bear to hear you like this.”

Next to the teenage boy, sat a beautiful kitten that meowed and stared back at him unable to understand what was going on. Sighing, he stroked the feline's fur on her back. “I made dinner; I know how much you like my sandwiches so I made us some. Kag you have to eat something, you haven't eaten all day.” It was nightfall; Kagome had yet to touch her cold sandwich and by the looks of it, her lunch was also still in the fridge wrapped in plastic.

“I'm not hungry.” Came Kagome's weakened reply as she sniffled back a sob.

Angry at her stubbornness, he stood up at once after hearing her speak to him for the first time in four hours and banged on her door. “Kag either you open up or I knock down the door this instant!” He cried irritably but no one replied.

Souta breathed and tried to calm himself down before knocking down the door. “Sis, don't make me count to three.” Kirara meowed as her head tilted sideways, concerned and nonetheless confused.

“One.” He began to count.

He had a bad feeling at the pit of his stomach and he was positive it wasn't the tuna melt from earlier.

“Two.”

Frightened, he placed his ear to the door and the apartment lapsed into silence once more. It was like no one was there at the other side.

“Three...”

Using his combat boots, he managed to kick open the door as it swung back with a loud boom. If he was lucky, Sango would forgive him for ruining the lock and hopefully not beat the heck out of him with her handy dandy baseball bat.

Souta's eyes widen.

There she laid, on the carpet floor unconscious with the torn up photo of their parents in one hand. “Kagome! Are you okay?” He quickly ran by her side as he kneeled before scooping her up in his arms. Not sure what to do, he rocked her back and forth as his hands trembled and his hold tightened.

“Souta, I don't feel good…” Kagome mumbled and her eyes suddenly fluttered open. Kirara, who was now resting on Kagome's stomach, purred at she licked Kagome's face.

“How do you feel?" He asked his big sister with the love and tenderness of a father.

She whispered and stared back. “Dizzy.”

Frowning, he lifted himself up from the floor along with his sister in his arms and Kirara rapidly jumped onto the bed at his sudden movement. “Shit, come on Kagome I'm taking you do the nearest hospital.”

“Quick, take me to the bathroom unless you want me to barf all over you kid.” Kagome managed to smile dimly and point a finger to the direction towards her bathroom.

“Good thinking.” He nodded and placed her down carefully on the bathroom floor, Kagome kneeled and clutched her stomach with a bitter expression as she hurled into the toilet.

Souta placed a hand on her forehead and she gave a soft moan while placed her head in her hands. “Kagome, you don't seem to have a fever so what's going on? Have you been skipping meals again?” He questioned at once, demanding she explained why her lunch was left untouched.

“Who told you that?” She glared up at him for treating her like a child, knowing perfectly well the answer to her question.

“Sango of course.” He replied, clarifying her suspicions and so she rolled her eyes.

“I think I'm starting to feel better now.” Kagome said and he narrowed his eyes knowing that by the sallow look on her face, she was lying through her teeth again.

“Maybe we should take you to the emergency room before you do end up getting worse; just to make sure.” He assured.

Kagome shook her head and stood up from the floor heading for the sink to rinse her hands and wash her face from puking her guts out while shoving her wavy hair out of the way. “Stop overreacting, it's just the stomach flu or some kind of virus.” She said to calm down her overreacting kid brother who leaned on the door frame of her bathroom with the most worried expression as he tucked his hands in his pockets.

“So how long have you been feeling like this?” Souta asked, never before having witnessed his sister look so sick before; it scared him to say the least.

“About two weeks.”

He panicked as his eyes grew disbelievingly. “What? And you haven't mentioned this to anyone?”

Kagome objected. “I didn't think it was serious, I still don't.” It wasn't that she liked to play with her own health but she just wasn't feeling like stressing over something that perhaps might end up being insignificant.

“Vomiting, upset stomach and dizziness huh? Well it sure as hell sounds serious to me!”

“Don't forget I can't stand the smell of food.” She swallowed the lump in her throat and gagged at the bitterness in her mouth.

Souta laughed drily. “You sound like Hitomi's mom when she got pregnant during the last semester of school.”

Both of them stopped conversing, staring at each other in a heavy silence. “Wait a minute; you're not pregnant are you?” Souta whispered low enough that Kagome barely caught what he had said, the word pregnant resounding repeated in her head. Well that would explain the mood swings, Souta thought to himself.

She immediately shook her head and laughed nervously. “Don't say stuff like that, you're scaring me.”

“Well are you?” He insisted.

“Of course not! I-I can't be pregnant.” Kagome felt her heartbeat thump loudly in her eardrums. “I couldn't be.” Words tumbled out of her mouth faster then she could think.

Fear ran through her veins cold as she started frantically rambling to herself. “No, I'm not.” She denied a third time and ran to the calendar that hung on a wall, flipping back and forth about its pages. Her hands nervously shaking as she hurried in search of answers.

Souta's eyebrow rose and he continued to stare skeptically at his sister as he bent down on the floor to pick up the photograph of his parents, which had been torn in half but had been taped back to one piece. “Kagome what are you doing?”

Kagome paused as she caught the worried tone in his strained voice. “What's today's date?”

“The fourteenth.” He clarified though she took no notice, carrying on her rant but in small whispers.

According to her calendar, she was four weeks late. Never had she been two weeks late and not notice such change. “Four weeks! I'm four weeks late and I don't even NOTICE!” She had said it before she could stop herself. Shooting a look at her brother and watching his eyes pop out of his head in shock, Kagome sighed heavily and waited for his reaction.

Souta, however, was at a loss for words.

“Damn it!” Kagome cursed while collapsing on her bed with her head in her hands.

“I need a pregnancy test.” She gravely mumbled. How could she have been so careless? All the symptoms were there but she had never thought being pregnant would be one of her options.

Give or take five minutes later. “You mean to tell me you're pregnant?!” He shouted, snapping her out of her trance.

Kagome glared. “Say it louder Souta! I don't think the apartment below us heard you clearly!!” She protested, flushing angrily despite her once sickly pallid complexion, jumping up and smacking his arm with all the force she could muster, receiving another loud cry.

Unconsciously, he lifted his hands to defend himself against the onslaught. “OUCH! Damn it Kagome!” He struggled to get his thoughts into words without managing to sound childish or making her more upset. “I can't believe it…” He muttered utterly taken by surprise, unable to hide the astonishment.

In a flash, Kagome was pushing him out the apartment door. “Hurry, go to the nearest pharmacy and get me as many pregnancy tests as you can get a hold of and a gallon of milk!” She kicked him out and slammed the door in his face.

Twenty minutes later Kagome stared at the pregnancy stick in her hand; absolutely stunned. Yep, that little smiley face was unmistakably there again; mocking her for being so slapdash and just so careless. Kirara snuggled in her lap and she sighed, blankly gazing away at the fifth pregnancy test.

“Well?” In the midst of thinking to herself, Kagome noticed her little brother walk into her bedroom.

“They all say the same thing.” She whispered without looking at his face, the acknowledgement draining the little color from her face.

“So youare pregnant.” He said it for her.

She shook her head as she sat there on her bed with her back facing Souta. “I couldn't be. I can't be…pregnant.” Instinctively her hands folded over her stomach and she rubbed the soft belly that had once rippled with muscle. An overwhelming feeling engulfed her. An overprotective love she had never experienced before, that made her want to care for whatever was inside her.

He encouraged her as he approached. “Perhaps we should schedule an appointment.” Souta sat next to his sister and placed his arms around her.

“It's not necessary.” She mumbled knowing that this would change things around if she really waspregnant. But then again, she felt like she wanted it with all the fiber in her being, more than anything she had ever wanted before.

“Well incase you are, who's the father?” Kagome heard him ask meanwhile she rested her head on his chest as he held her. Kirara stretched and looked up at the siblings with a brilliant glint as she meowed.

“...Inuyasha.” The name of the man she had come to love so fervently escaped her lips.

Souta's eyes widen in shock, disbelief and pure happiness. “You're not serious!?”

Kagome gulped and tears began to surface. “I think I am.” She said and looked up at Souta with a fear he did not understand.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN INUYASHA AND CO. I REPEAT...THEY DO NOT BELONG TO ME WHATSOEVER, ONLY TO THE VERY TALENTED MISS RUMIKO TAKAHASHI.

A/N: For those of you who have been wondering where the heck I've been for the last week and couple of days, well I've got news for you…I'm an aunt! Last weekend at exactly 2:35 AM—my brother who is currently serving proudly in Iraq—became a father of two very adorable twin baby girls. I am so proud to be an aunt, it's amazing! The babies were both born healthy; the oldest was 6 lbs and 12 oz, while the youngest is 6 lb and 6 oz. And yes, Kagome is pregnant with Inuyasha's child. Once again thanks to all of those who have reviewed and have waited patiently for this update. THANK YOU!!

—IYlover4ever