InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Ikemasen no ai ❯ Hidden Feelings ( Chapter 5 )

Chapter 5, revision 1.0.2

It was early spring in the courtyard of the late Inu-no-taishou's castle, two brothers, now three summers older, sparred.

Sesshoumaru eyed his brother, as they circled each other, wary of whatever `stupid shit he might pull.'

Inuyasha cracked his knuckles and lunged for his brother, pounding his fists left and right, all of which Sesshoumaru easily dodged. Hanyou claws met youkai claws. Growling, Inuyasha went to kick him, but found himself face first in the dirt.

"You honestly think you can beat me, you little halfbreed whelp?" Sesshoumaru pushed him back to the ground, tackling him, holding Inuyasha's arms over his head. Sesshoumaru's lips inches away from that hanyou's face, Inuyasha seething, "You're so weak, Inuyasha…" He whispered, not showing a hint of tiredness.

Inuyasha glared at him, "Keh. I'm just getting started," he said and then kicked him hard in the stomach with both feet, his brother jumping away from him, Inuyasha now on his feet again coming at him again.

Pieces of clothing went flying, blood splattered over the ground, as they fought, a heated battle that was between equals. It wasn't always like this, Inuyasha used to be quite weak. His brother wouldn't stand for that, however, and tought him how to be strong in many ways.

After a hard day's training, the two resigned themselves to a nearby stream to wash off the sticky sweat that clung uncomfortably to their clothes.

They stripped without blushing, without examining each other's bodies… At least, that's what Inuyasha thought. Sesshoumaru watched as his younger brother's toned body slid into the cold water without so much as flinching.

"I thought you said you couldn't stand the sight of dirty hanyous," Inuyasha teased.

Sesshoumaru unnoticeably twitched. He hated the word.

The hanyou simply closed his eyes and relaxed in the stream, letting the current take his silver hair.

His brother crept into the water silently, and eyed every feature of Inuyasha as he sat cross-legged in the shallow water across from him. He'd been practicing on his blush response ever since he was little, and now he had complete control over this very embarrassing feature…

Eyes still closed and head back, Inuyasha spoke to the sky. "Do you miss haha-ue and chichi-ue?"

"Why would I miss my lord's breeding bitch? She wasn't my mother. She was ningen. So again, I implore you, dear brother, why would I miss the woman?" Inuyasha, I'll miss her love more than you'll ever know. I grew up without a mother. You didn't. You had all the love in the world, while I was simply "that bitch's boy."

The younger brother was quiet for a long time.

"What about oyaji? Do you miss him?"

"Inuyasha, answer me this: who would I rather train with? The lord of the Western lands or a filthy, talentless, clumsy hanyou?" But who would I rather be with? I would rather be with you, any day. Why can't I tell you? Why can't I tell my own brother that I love him? It is the curse of the hanyou; to be rejected. I'm doing him a favor. In a world like this, emotions only bring pain.

It was a good thing Inuyasha was staring at the sky, because even at his age he still had to cry at those biting words.

Sesshoumaru took in the lines of his brother's chest, then his stomach. They had trained for years together, and never had he said anything to him. Why was he talking now? The answer came just as he thought it.

"You probably won't care, but today was the day my mother died five years ago." Salt-smell filled the air over the freshwater riverbank."

This time, Sesshoumaru was silent. He looked on with longing at the hanyou, the want to comfort him.

"Inuyasha, do you remember that night so many years ago when you crawled into my bed because of the storm?"

He did, because after he wiped the tears from his eyes he looked up and smirked. "That thunder really got us bad, being inu pups. You nearly transformed when the thunder got close."

Sesshoumaru made his way towards his brother. "And remember how you crept into my bed?"

Inuyasha frowned. He was now feeling a bit uncomfortable. He studied his brother's face, but no indication of emotion showed. He hated that about his brother. But staring deep into his brother's golden eyes, he found what he was looking for… a sign. But this sign confused him. He didn't know what emotion it was in those eyes, but it certainly wasn't hatred.

"Yes, I do." Inuyasha's response was stiff. He didn't like what his brother was getting at.

Sesshoumaru moved closer still, his nose a mere hair's-breadth away from his brother's. His scent rushed into his nostrils, hightening his senses. He cocked his head a little, now letting the smallest of grins settle upon his otherwise unreadable face.

He whispered. "And do you remember how close we were that night?"

Inuyasha, now panicked, now realized they were both naked. He looked down, and was surprised to see his older brother now sported a rather uncomfortably large erection.

"Sesshoumaru, I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but-" His words were cut off as wet lips found dry ones. A live tongue met with a limp one and toyed with it. The savage kiss was abruptly cut off when Inuyasha punched his brother in the gut. He flinched from the powerful impact and glared at the other with hungry gold eyes.

"You're not going to stop this, Inuyasha. Only now you'll be sorry." Sesshoumaru pooled venomous shouki into his fingertips. Inuyasha recoiled in horror. This isn't happening! The acid green claws gripped deep into his the flesh of his back, making the younger cry out in agony. Sesshoumaru took the chance to drag his prone body onto the river bank and pressed his soft flesh between those built buttocks. In one quick thrust he found himself deep inside the whimpering Inuyasha, tears streaming down those beautiful cheeks and into the dirt, eyes closed. He hated doing this to his brother, it made a pang of guilt strike him with each thrust, but the pleasure of making his brother submit to his power was more than enough to make up for it. He was defiling this beautiful hanyou who he had loved since his birth, but it made him feel exhilarated, so alive. He not only loved the hanyou, he loved the way he made him feel. Finally he struck a sensitive spot and his beloved moaned beneath him, his claws digging into Sesshoumaru's flesh. The elder brother grunted as he spilled his seed inside his chosen. They both relaxed.

Inuyasha turned around after his brother withdrew and looked him in the eyes.

"Oniisan, is that how you love me? As a lover, but not a brother?"

Sesshoumaru pondered the question. "Yes, and that is the way it will always be." No, my love. You are so much more to me than that.

They both sighed, one dearly wanting to truly speak his feelings to his only brother, the other now descending the steps of despair towards a dark and unwholesome place… if it weren't for the next few words:

"Brother… I can't do this to you anymore… I do truly love you, but I cannot. I…" he trailed off, content to simply move to his lover's body and rest his head against that chest.

Inuyasha stared at the clouds, relishing his brother's scent. It flooded the area. It flooded him. He will always associate this scent to feeling content and relaxed, however cruel his brother could be, from this day on. He was able to cope with his brother's abuse simply by smelling the air, closing his eyes, and recalling this moment of sheer contentedness.

"Why do you love me, oniisan?"

"Ever since you were born, you were beautiful to me. I don't care what other youkai think… You are beautiful."