InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Impurity of Selfishness ❯ Dreams Are Missing Each Other ( Chapter 13 )

Hey- I'm back! ^_^ Sorry guys. I know that I shouldn't start other fics, but I really needed to write something else out of my system before I could get back to writing this one. Something bad happened and I was hurt- I didn't want it to affect this story. As for the other one, it helped with writer's block on this one- but don't worry- this fic is my primary focus! Anyway, here's this chapter. It's shorter than I was initially going to put up, but I figured that I could be kind and go ahead and put this up.

 

Kiro-chan- I am so glad that you reviewed! Just knowing that you are looking forward to the rest, makes me happier than you can imagine- and it tends to motivate me to find more time so I can get the next chapters up faster. ^_^

Angelstars- I'm so happy that you liked it! I know what you mean about how nice it is to see Kagome being stronger than she is sometimes portrayed. As for the power of the mind- oh yeah I hear ya. Besides, the more complicated something is, the easier it tends to be to make the system crash- I figured that if it worked for computers, Windows, etc, than it could work for minds as well! ^_^

Classic Cowboy- No worries about not reviewing! BTW, yes it was very lovely! I am quite pleased! ;)

DiLLiRgA- I'm not getting tired of writing the thank you's- unless you would just rather I abstain from thanking you? I also figure that if you guys could take a few moments and say something to me, the least that I can do is return the favor, neh?

 

Pt 14- Dreams are missing each other

 

“Tomorrow is far away and lonely, but I think that I'll get over it as long as it's still the dawn. Feelings will trip if they bump into each other. Tonight, we miss each other once again. Tightrope walking with results so bad that trails of effort fade off with the results. Every day, the more you do, the more you lose. It's easier to hold yourself at an angle. Hiding the passionate self, hiding the hurt self, I live on in this short era…. Feelings will run wild if left alone. Dreams are again missing each other.”

- part of Heart of Sword translation from Rurouni Kenshin

 

After eating a nice celebration meal with Kaede, Inuyasha pouts in his tree. The others notice that he wants to be left alone and that he has been quiet ever since the battle. They shrug it off and assume that maybe the poison is still having some effect on him. That may be true, however Inuyasha's mind does not dwell upon his own performance. Instead, he finds himself lost within thought of Kagome… and Kikyo.

 

He heavily sighs with almost reverence. “Kagome… oh that was amazing. I did not know that you possessed such amazing powers. I have not seen anything as incredible as your display since Kikyo, whose powers were mind-boggling and almost legendary. I remember- demons could ever get very close to her. All who tried to take the Shikon no Tama completely failed in their attempts. Now, Kagome was incredible too- how could she keep it from us like that? If she is as powerful as she proved herself to be, why didn't she use the powers sooner- we could use the help of course.” Inuyasha, don't be so dense- Kagome has never had any training in her miko powers unlike Kikyo. What do you expect? Is she just supposed to use powers without knowing how? “Hey! She used them today, didn't she?” And she said that she didn't know what happened, moron.

 

He shrugs off his inner comment. “Keh, I suppose that it is just another of those reincarnation things… yet another thing that they have in common. I used to think that they both had another thing in common- that they both liked me. Kagome does like me, as a friend. Shouldn't that be enough for me?” It should be more than enough...

 

He continues to think aloud. “When she brushed me off this afternoon, she sounded so cool, matter of fact and filled with hidden mirth.” He flinches, bristles and then curses himself for letting Kagome get under his skin in the first place. “Damn, I should not care about her at all. I should be free. Free, to love Kikyo with a full heart. Free not to have such ridiculous things bother me.” He frowns and remembers the grace of her fighting and the attractiveness of her attacks. “Attractive? Kagome- well yes… and…” His thoughts continue to drift to every movement of hers that he could remember. He replays them over and over in his mind and holds onto them with a tenacity that surprises him.

 

Against his will, he makes a discovery that he should have allowed to surface before. “Oh no, I do, I actually love Kagome.” Do you love her because you cannot have her? She was there and it seemed as if you could have had her if you had wanted her… what does that make you, an opportunist? “Oh shut up!” How do you know that it is true when you say that you love her even more from afar? How fair is that?! You love her when you cannot have her and when you remember what you thought that you had and what you could have had. The hanyou narrows his eyes and shrugs once again.

 

He stubbornly crosses his arms and sadly examines the moon. “Oh, she is far away while being right next to me. It feels as if there is a huge chasm between the two of us- a great distance that I long to cross.” Yes, yes your youthful yearning stirs your mind and heart to overcome even Kikyo's presence. “Yeah, that's right. I ignored Kikyo that night. It's just… Kagome. I wanted so badly to hold her in my arms and crush her soft, warm, living body to my chest… my Kagome.” The mixed simplicity and complexity of his feelings surprise him.

 

He is lost in his thoughts and therefore does not notice when someone decides to join him. Usually, he would smell anyone coming near, but he is distracted and does not realize that he has a visitor until he hears a slight knock on the dark brown bark of his tree. As the mist fades from his eyes, he looks down and sees the object of his thoughts.

 

 

(Kagome)

“Inuyasha- may I come up there and keep you company?” I ask him. He just nods and so I begin to climb up, which does not work very well. He shakes his head at me and sighs.

 

“Sheesh, woman.” He leaps down and leaps up into the tree with me in his arms. That was very sweet of him. I did not realize that it would be so hard to climb the tree. Oh well.

 

“Thank you, Inuyasha. I brought you some chocolate? Would you like to have a little bit with me?” I hold out one of the leftover chocolate bars from the s'mores and raise my eyebrow to accentuate my invitation.

 

He pokes it a little bit and gives the foil a questioning glance. “What is that again?”

 

“Silly- it's the dark brown candy that you ate with the blackened marshmallows.”

 

His eyes open wide and begins grabbing at it and wolfing it down. “Yeah this stuff is good- chocolate you called it?” He remembered it for that long? He listened to me?

 

I watch him with a smile. I wonder if he would like some chocolate. Maybe he could give some to Kikyo… yes, his Kikyo. “Inuyasha…”

 

“Spit it out, wench.” He crudely says through his mouthful of chocolate.

 

I ignore the wench comment. “Well, it is customary in my time that boyfriends give their girlfriend chocolate sometimes. It is not required but it does happen. As I say that, you must be thinking that I am weird offering you some chocolate, but we are just friends with commitments, so it does not apply. I want to know if you want to give one of my extra bars to Kikyo.”

 

“Uh, sure- why not?” He is silent for a moment before he stops eating, looks away and begins talking again. “Did your Kisho give you any chocolate?”

 

“What- Kisho? Oh yeah, of course he does.” I ponder for a moment. “He knows that I get major chocolate cravings sometimes. Oh I love chocolate so much. Let's see- I remember last year for Valentine's Day, he left a bar of chocolate for me in each class and then at the end of the day, he gave me a dozen long stemmed red roses. I was so happy, but I was just happier that they were from him. The gift makes little difference; it's the thought that counts. Of course, his presents would make me happy anyway. Ah, no matter. You must be wondering why I randomly came up here to talk to you tonight. Well, I wanted to know what you thought about the battle today?” I sigh.

 

He does not respond, but allows me to talk. “I don't know what happened. Kaede-baa-chan told me to follow my instincts and that is what they told me to do. As I was acting, I did not know what I was doing, you know?” I look towards him and shrug, but he does not look at me. Oh well, I guess that he's thinking about something. “That kinda scares me. I could not control myself- well no, I could control myself but I did not understand what I was doing even as I did it. I gave in to a completely uncharted part of myself that, at that time, began to take over my mind.” I begin yanking on my hair. “I only remember bits and pieces of what happened- I was in a trance-like state and so everything about it still seems just a little bit blurry. But seriously, Inuyasha, what do you think about what happened? I would really like to know.”

 

He scratches his head and looks away from me for a moment. After sighing, he turns to look me in the eye. “Well, Kagome, I had no idea that you could do that. I was very surprised. But… even more than that…why couldn't you tell me before now? You never tell me anything.” He pouts like a child and glares at me.

 

“What do you mean? I didn't know about these powers!” I glare right back at him.

 

He scoffs. “Keh- yeah sure you didn't- just like Kisho!”

 

Huh? “Just like Kisho what?”

 

“You couldn't tell me about him either!”

 

I roll my eyes. “Of course I told you about it, baka! You are the one who forgot that I told you something as important as that. I do not know why you are accusing me of being the only one with selective amnesia,” I spit out with disgust.

 

“I can't believe you at all! How can you expect me to believe you?! Keh! I wonder what other surprises do you have in store for me!” I cannot believe that he just said that! Dang, does this boy have issues or what?

 

“Sheesh, Inuyasha- what is your problem? You are acting so strangely for crying out loud! What is wrong with all of you! You all are the ones who are forgetting everything- not me!” I throw my hands in the air. “I just don't understand you.”

 

“Keh, wench!”

 

“Don't call me that again or I'll say it!” As I prepare to punish him, I convulse and my body becomes heavier than lead.

 

 

(Inuyasha)

Inuyasha runs and catches her as she leads towards the ground. As he cushions the fall, he realizes that she is unconscious… again. (A/N- yes I am aware that this seems to be getting old, but I have really good reasons for this, so trust me.) He stares at her in surprise as his worry obliterates his feelings of frustration and anger. Shaking his head from unimportant thoughts, the hanyou brings her to Kaede. As he did before, he wraps her in her sleeping bag and returns to his corner as the older miko begins her examination.

 

Kaede is quick and gentle, but just keeps shaking her head and glancing worriedly at Kagome. After confirming pulse rate and searching with her spirit, Kaede finds only inconclusive evidence. Her searches are being blocked.

 

Inuyasha shifts as he raptly watches. With his brow furrowed, he expresses his impatience. “Keh, babaa, are you done yet? What is wrong with her?”

 

Kaede does not respond immediately but sighs in exasperation. “Inuyasha, keep it down. She can hear you, you know. I'm not sure what is happening to her, but I suspect that she will be fine in the morning. I assume that you will do me the favor of watching over her tonight for me, won't you?” He looks into the small fire and nods. Kaede looks sympathetically at him before walking out.

 

Inuyasha watches over Kagome with varying levels of attention, but something keeps bringing his mind back to the sleeping powerful woman a few feet away from him. Over the time, the proximity becomes more and more intoxicating and he feels as if he will jump out of his skin. As he mentally caresses her, he suddenly realizes what he is doing. The voice inside whispers…Admit the truth, Inuyasha- just admit that you love Kagome. As usual, he tries to push the thought away with excuses. No, shut up! She has someone else, someone else that will make her so much happier in a normal life. Yes, a normal, happy life that I don't know if I could ever give her. If I truly love her, I can endure this and must. I do love her… He marvels at the thought but then thinks about it. If I love her, her desires will be my primary concern, not my own.

 

 

(Kagome)

In my state of pseudo-consciousness, I dream…

 

 

I am falling, falling into darkness. Who am I? Why am I here? Why can't I see the bottom? Surely I will hit bottom soon- I did not know that I could possibly fall this far.

 

A warm, feminine voice wraps itself around me, although I cannot see anything. “Why is it so important for you to know where you are going and what you are doing? Are you not safe here- away from those who would hurt and away from those that you hurt?”

 

I answer her out loud. “How… did you hear my thoughts?” I pause but get no answer. “Hey- I do not hurt people!”

 

“Do you not? Do you believe that when you fall, someone will catch you?”

 

“Yes, I do believe that- I know it. There are people who love me and who are waiting for me to return!”

 

“So why do you hide? Why do you not fight?”

 

“Fight what? I am falling- I am out of control. There is nothing for me to do but wait.”

 

“Maybe, maybe not. Maybe that is what you wish to believe.”

 

“Whatever- that was nice and cryptic. Besides, who are you? Why can't I see you? I can hear you… but that is all.”

 

The voice quietly and demurely laughs. “Is physical manifestation that important, Kagome?” Kagome, that is my name. Yes, Higurashi Kagome.

 

In the distance, a light shines and I can see the Sengoku Jidai with all my friends. On my right, the other side, I can see a picture of my life with my family.

 

The woman continues speaking. “These are your frames of existence, Kagome. Are they worth the trouble or will you just watch life pass you by and continue to hurt people?”

 

As the light fades and fall down and down, I scream to refute her statement. “I told you- I don't hurt people!” Finally, as my voice echoes up into the seemingly, dimensionless chasm, I finally hit bottom and fall out of my reverie.

 

 

Ok that's it for pt. 14. Please review if you have a moment. I get extremely encouraged, yep! Let's see I always put up the likely name for the next chapter. Well let's see… Exasperation… yeah maybe that's right. Ok later, everyone. That'll be up soon.