InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Impurity of Selfishness ❯ To Live... ( Chapter 17 )

Ok, patient peeps- I combined two into one for y'all- ok at one time it was going to be three chapters but I decided shorter was better. This is the last chapter before the epilogue. Please forgive me for taking so long. I may have pneumonia and I've had some writer's block… but here it is and it's almost done! One epilogue and this will be finished! I can feel the excitement!

 

IMPORTANT- please read!!!! I would like to comment on Kagome's actions in that last chapter that I wrote- yes, I think that she is stronger than that, too. So therefore the question becomes- why on Earth did I write it that way? Here is the partial answer that I will give you now- I will give a more complete one after this chapter and another after the epilogue- hopefully these explanations can make my intentions clearer to everyone....

 

When I have seen Kagome react to these difficult situations, she usually fights, but it is not an immediate reaction. This was her immediate reaction- not her complete reaction, so don't just assume that was it- of course I would not leave it there- Kagome *is* much stronger than that. Think about it this way- you think that you've been trying to kill the guy you love! It's a rather deafening psychological blow- and it's not like she has had time to think about it at all. Too much information and no time to think- she only has time to react. She's in pain; she's in turmoil and is not thinking straight- she just reacts.

 

Pt 18- To Live

“Schmendrick- All the unicorns of the world will remain prisoners forever - except one, and she will grow old and die. Lady Amalthea (says to Prince Lir) - Everything dies. I want to die when you die. I am no unicorn, no magical creature. I am human, and I love you. Do not let him. Schmendrick-Very well - let it end here, then, let the quest end! I doubt I could turn you back if you wished it. Marry the prince and live happily ever after. Lady Amalthea-Yes. That is my wish. Prince Lir- No...My lady, I am a hero, and heroes know - heroes know the order of things. They know that things must happen when it is time for them to happen...Quests may not simply be abandoned - prophecies may not be left to rot like unpicked fruit. Unicorns may go unrescued for a long time, but not forever...The happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story. Molly-But what if there isn't a happy ending at all? Schmendrick-There are no happy endings. Nothing ends.”

- The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle (coming out in a new live-action motion picture in the fall of 2004! Check out website @ http://www.the-last-unicorn.net!)

 

As Kagome's depressed spirit submits to the huge psychological shock imposed upon her by Kikyo, the others stare silently at the scene before them as if they don't believe their eyes. Kikyo looks triumphantly at Inuyasha, who simply examines the still body as if he expects it to suddenly stand up and look at him with beautiful, wide-open eyes. Like all the rest, he currently exists in a state of shock. More than that, he also doesn't remember exactly what happened between the two women that he has ever loved.

 

His little shoulders slumping, Shippo begins to cry hot tears as he runs towards the body. As he gets close to Kagome, he throws somewhat unthreatening death glances at Kikyo. Meanwhile, Sango, with her mouth open in surprise, shakes her head and manages to pull Shippo away from Kagome's body and then takes the little, sad kitsune in her arms and comforts him with a hug. Miroku walks over to Inuyasha and helps him stand up and walk over to where Sango and Shippo patiently wait.

 

As the hanyou looks at his supportive friends, his eyes finally clear and so he turns to face his first love whose spirit still hovers over the silent body. His face hardening into rage, he glares at Kikyo. “Kikyo,” he spits out, “What the fuck have you done to Kagome?”

 

She blinks. “Isn't it obvious? I punished her for leading you on. She distracted and confused you, Inuyasha, and it was not fair. She simply got what she deserved.”

 

“She distracted me from what, exactly, Kikyo? How could she have gotten what she deserved? What the hell did she ever do to you, Kikyo? How could you do this to my sweet Kagome?” His eyes flash partially red and he clenches his fists almost to the point of drawing blood.

 

“She distracted you from your promise and your love for me, Inuyasha. She can never be with you and so she would only have hurt you. Listen to yourself- your sweet Kagome? It has gotten worse than I had thought. Darling, don't be so sad and defensive- you know that she didn't belong here, not like you do. It is as I told you before- you belong to me.” Elegantly, she shakes her head. “Sadly, she just couldn't bring herself to let you go and so I had to make it occur. I know that you are slightly angry at me, but believe me- this is for the best.”

 

He growls and throws acidic glares at her. “Angry? If you were anyone else, I would not hesitate to rip you to shreds for being such a heinous bitch! My relationship with Kagome is none of your damned business! More than that, I can make my own choices- it is not your job to run my life for me. At least I am still alive, unlike you, you fucking zombie! You have no right to make those decisions for me! You aren't even half the woman that Kagome is- literally!”

 

Her smile wavers for a moment at his harsh words and she closes her eyes to calm herself. “That was harsh, love. She got deeper into you than I had thought. Don't be silly- of course I have the right. You gave your life to me and I will do with it as I please. I know what's best for you. You are mentally incapable of making a logical decision in your condition.”

 

He spits at the place where her feet would be. “You can take your ideas and shove them up your murderous ass! You are out of line, Kikyo!”

 

She puts her hand to her sternum in surprise. “Oh my, my, my- aren't we feisty? Calm down, Inuyasha. Don't you trust me?” He glares at her without response. “I see. Well, come and look- I've brought you a little present, don't you remember?”

 

“What present? All you've done is hurt Kagome and make her go away… or something- whatever the fuck you did to her! How do you expect me to forgive you for something as low as this, you calculating bitch!”

 

With a smug smile, she responds, “Just as long as I can be your bitch, love.” Kikyo remains silent to watch his face contort as he tries not to lose control and attack her. He manages to calm himself a bit and so after a minute, she sighs sadly. “You really do not remember what happened, do you? Well since you were too busy pouting over that little baby girl, you didn't pay attention. I had not realized that you had become quite so oblivious to what happens around you.”

 

“I am not fucking oblivious, dammit! She is not a baby girl- she is her own person, a wonderful woman who I happen to love! Damn you to hell, Kikyo!”

 

“Only if you come with me, sweetheart.” She smiles disturbingly before continuing. “Oh well, enough tossing playful insults back and forth…”

 

He interrupts, “Who says I'm just being playful!”

 

She ignores him. “Listen carefully to what I say. I came here to offer you your deepest dream- to become a true youkai. You tried to get the Shikon no Tama all those years ago and since it was my duty to protect the jewel, I couldn't comply- certainly not to allow you to become a youkai. Now, that is not the case. This girl,” she gestures to Kagome, “is now responsible for what happens to the jewel- this is her fault. She recklessly shattered it and now she must pay the price. As for you, you must do only one thing and in return, I will give you everything your heart desires.” She pauses for emphasis. “All you must do is forget that girl, Kagome.” He glares at her. “Oh be still- she is alive for now… unless you do as I say. Yes, I now have complete control of that body since she has decided to hide in the recesses of her consciousness.”

 

Inuyasha's eyebrows plunge downward and he looks at Kagome's body. “She's hiding? I'm not sure that I understand. Explain now!” He holds out his claws threateningly.

 

“Oh, don't be so naïve. She couldn't withstand the psychological shock applied to her system.” He still looks puzzled. “Fine, I will explain further. She, Kagome, has an amazing capacity to feel- when she feels, she feels very strongly. This is a great strength, but also a frightening weakness. Knowing this, I couldn't allow her the time necessary to confront the heart-wrenching pain- it is a natural reaction. The mind is works in amazing ways, but you even so should be proud of her for her efforts. She managed to keep me at bay much longer than I would have imagined- considering that she didn't know what, or rather whom, she was fighting. Now, she has shut down, just as I had predicted- it is not a matter of strength really. Her spirit is quite strong to tell you the truth- you should not doubt that. But with explanations behind us, we must return to the task at hand. Inuyasha, you cannot have both of us; you must choose now, Inuyasha- her or me?” His mouth drops open. “Yes, you heard me. She isn't dead- she has put herself into a deep sleep, but eventually she will try to reawaken. Only one of us can survive in that body and so you must condemn one of us to save the other, so decide or have neither of us. Do not be hasty, because remember what I offer you- your precious dream is only a few feet away.” She tauntingly holds up the Shikon no Kakera that is almost complete. His golden eyes focus on the jewel and he can't hide his longing. “Yes, Inuyasha, let me give you this gift. This possesses enough power to fulfill your dreams. I ask for so little really; all I ask is that you forget her.”

 

As Inuyasha wrestles with his feelings, Kaede appears silently and mysteriously. With a few quick movements for someone her age, she comes up behind Kikyo and swipes the jewel from her older sister's grasp before Inuyasha can make a decision. She nods to Miroku to come next to her and they nods to each other. With a simple spell, they seal Kagome/Kikyo and freeze the two of them in time just until they decide which course of action to take. Kaede gestures and they move Kagome's body with Kikyo's soul still attached back to Kaede's home.

 

 

(Kagome's spirit…)

Kagome curls up in fetal position with her eyes tightly closed in a space of total darkness. I feel cold, but the air that touches my skin does not feel frigid- in fact, it feels strange, almost as if was not air, but something without substance- nothingness. That sounds strange, but nothing else comes close to explaining the true feeling of this… place. That's right- where am I? Why am I here? Where is my family? Where are my friends? When I open my eyes, surely I will find them nearby, waiting for me with huge, warming grins on their faces.

 

She feels partially suffocated by a mysterious tightening in her chest. Without opening her eyes, she puts her right hand up and when it reaches her bosom, she can feel a strange necklace around her neck- jewelry composed of beads. Her eyes snap open in surprise, but as she looks around, she forgets what she is doing.

 

Light shines around her and she can see all of her family, all her friends and Kisho in one place. Before she can look into his eyes, he takes her gently in his arms and she hesitantly returns the embrace without complaint. Oh that must've been a dream. Everything is normal. How silly of me to take some strange notion like that seriously in the first place! What was that nightmare about anyway?

 

She pulls away from Kisho with a sweet smile and takes his hand in her own so that they can both greet their mutual friends properly. They are standing in the area out in front of the Goshinboku; everyone is there to celebrate her birthday. As Kagome looks up into the branches of the Goshinboku, she notices some movement behind the tree itself. A couple of young people are standing there talking. Why am I glancing at them? I don't know if I know them- they seem slightly familiar.

 

She looks closer and realizes that there is a young man, a young woman and a cute little boy who holds a little white and black kitten close to him. They appear normal and of no consequence, but for some reason, Kagome can't stop watching them although they aren't even looking in her direction. Suddenly, Kisho yanks on her sleeve and tries to pull her into a conversation and she finds herself forced into looking away to answer Kisho's random question. When she looks back to further examine the trio, they have disappeared.

 

Uneasiness runs through her veins and tendrils of thought try to untangle themselves, but to no avail. I feel as if I should remember something, something important- but for some reason, I can't unearth the lost ideas. She shakes her head and sighs to vent her frustration. At that moment, Souta runs up to her and attempts to get her attention.

 

“Onee-chan… what are you thinking about?” She looks down slightly at him and watches him give her a cute smile.

 

“Oh, don't you worry about me, Souta. I just have cobwebs in my head- I wasn't thinking about anything.” He leaps into her arms and she is unable to hold on to him. He accidentally grabs on to her necklace as he falls. The world goes into slow motion as he falls and the necklace breaks in a shower of dark red beads. Souta manages to land on his feet, but looks down at the necklace in shock for a moment.

 

In the resonating silence that ensued, Kagome's vision blurs and the tightness in her chest recedes, no longer to conceal the grief. The red beads bounce about on the concrete and she watches them as if in a trance. I didn't remember that I had a necklace like that… I wonder… The sun goes behind a cloud and the light of the scene diminishes considerably. The beads begin to glow a blood red color and reform the necklace, to Kagome's horror. As the enchanted object floats towards her threateningly, she responds totally by instinct and runs to the Goshinboku, for no reason at all. The beads follow her as she runs faster in hopes of escaping.

 

 

Back to reality now in Kaede's hut…

Miroku sighs in relief. “What are we going to do, Kaede-sama? Do you have a plan? That was extremely quick thinking, if I do say so myself.”

 

“Thank you for your assistance. As for a plan, I do have one at present. I went and found something that belongs to you, Kikyo-onee-sama- your body so to speak.” Kaede gestures to the shell that is slumped right behind her in one of the corners. “Oh stop trying to control yourself from this distance. I have put a blocking spell on the body, one that not even you can make or break- certainly not without a body. Now, I have the Shikon no Tama, excuse me, Shikon no Kakera. I have no comment as to your behavior, but this is ridiculous. I will use the power to put your spirit back into the shell. That is Kagome's body and you do not belong there. You do not belong here, Kikyo-onee-sama, but that is your choice. I cannot allow you to deny Kagome her body any longer. I had my suspicions but there was not any action that I could take until now, when you decided to show yourself.”

 

“Kaede, you cannot do that. You would presume to use the jewel?”

 

“I can and I shall- I do not need the entire power of the jewel- using it will only expedite the process. I may not have your powers or those of Kagome, but I know enough to do this- it is related to saving someone from the possession of a demon. You underestimate me, Onee-sama.” Without another word, Kaede closes her eyes and holds out the jewel over the body. Everyone holds their breath as she begins to mutter unintelligible words. After a few moments of concentration, the jewel glows and Kikyo's spirit is reluctantly flung back into her shell.

 

Kikyo's shell still has enough souls to move and so she sits up and glares at Kaede. “I cannot believe that you did that.” The old woman shrugs. “Oh well, she is still under my spell and under the influence of her own shock.” Inuyasha walks over the Kagome's body and puts a hand to her cheek, but Kagome doesn't stir at his touch. He doesn't move, but patiently waits. Kikyo walks up behind him and puts her hand on his shoulder. “I told you- this was for the best. You are mine, as you promised. I tried to give you your dreams, but you denied me. Instead, come with me, now, just as you promised. You owe me that much.”

 

Feeling only anger from Kikyo's attempts to entice him, Inuyasha sneers and shoved her away from him so that she can't touch him any more. He looks at her with pure contempt. “ Do not touch me, bitch!” She tries to respond but he will not let her. “No, shut up, you freak of nature! You have spoken more than your fair five minutes and so now it is my turn to speak. So, corpse, listen to me now, will you? You owe me that much. No, actually, you owe me much, much more than that!” He begins shaking in his anger. “So it's understood. Kikyo, you had no right to do what you have done. Kagome is our precious friend… and my precious love. You have no right to interfere at all, and even less to tell her that all of our pain is her fault. If you respected me, you would've respected my right to decide how to live or die. You are such a presumptuous bitch!”

 

He stops for a moment, but no one has any words. They are all shocked that he would speak to Kikyo as he is doing now. Normally, he falls under her spell, but no longer… and no one in the vicinity blames him for his righteous anger. Kikyo looks down at the ground; she can't look into his eyes. “Kikyo, who the fuck are you anyway? What the hell happened to you to make you be so unlike yourself? You expect me to love you when you are not you? Don't you hate yourself like this? How can you stand it? Why can't you just return to the cold rungs of hell to where you belong, traitorous asshole! So, why don't you just stop existing in the past and get a life, as much as you can for someone who is dead? Can't you get it through that undead head of yours- you are only a part of my past, of my heart to be certain, but not a part of my present or my future! My heart belongs to Kagome now. Kagome and I will decide what to do, because our relationship does not, nor will it ever, concern you. You do not have that control over me. If you ever loved me, accept this.”

 

Kikyo fumes at his ultimatum and turns away in frustration.

 

(Kagome's spirit…)

I can't seem to escape this evil menace. How strange that something like this would happen to me?! Maybe someone's playing a sick joke on me for my birthday. They could've found a necklace of prayer beads around the shrine quite easily, if they had searched. Still, I don't remember having a red one, though. Still running around the platform, she escapes the persistent beads. Her vision blurs the farther that she gets from the necklace. As she runs behind the Goshinboku a second time, the trio of people that she had noticed earlier wait for her. This time, they pay attention to her every move… and their clothes are odd- old fashioned, so it seems from her hurried glance. At that moment, memories begin rushing back to her. Oh my gosh- Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kirara! What are they doing here? She runs towards them, but as she gets nearer, they vanish with sad smiles on their faces. She slows down in surprise and the necklace fastens itself around her neck with a sickening click. The world appears stable again.

 

What was I just remembering? Her heart recalls the impressions that her friends have unknowingly placed there, within her soul. Pictures of her life in the other time, in the Sengoku Jidai appear and her head begins to ache. In response, the jewels around her neck grow warm, almost burning, and she realizes that she can't move. Shutting her eyes to block the pain, she falls to knees. As she opens her eyes to examine the burns on her neck, she can see that everything around her has faded except a light in front of her, almost as if a projector is running behind her. She reaches up a hand to pull the prayer beads off and her hand receives a shock. No, I need to remember! What- what is this warm, pain in my chest? Love… no you don't… what about Kisho- no, I love… Sengoku Jidai, Goshinboku- I love Inuyasha! Pictures of the hanyou flow through her head and also on the screen.

 

That's right- how could I have forgotten? Oh Inuyasha… Then she begins to recall what Kikyo said to her. Oh my gosh, I hurt Inuyasha. I hurt my friends. Tears travel down her face and she shuts her eyes in despair. I can't believe that I left like that. I didn't know what to say- I just gave in without a fight and took her words to heart without thinking. Still, I sometimes doubt myself and wonder how useful I really am. During those moments of internal self-deprecation, I could feel such things as true, but I know that my friends don't see that. They believe the best of me and I love them for it. She managed to hit a sore spot and so I simply shut down. That was the past, so surely I can do better if my friends are willing to forgive me. I should've asked them, but did I? But wait, if I go back, will I see Inuyasha submitting to her and holding her in his arms? I don't like that at all. I love him. How have I survived this long? A dry ache begins in her chest. Maybe he can forgive me… and if I love him, I must accept that which he chooses. I'm not forced to like it, but being his friend is better than never seeing him again. Yes, that's right. I don't care- I will be the best friend that I can to him, because I want to stand beside him… Oh Inuyasha, I want to see you again! The beads shatter from around her neck and everything fades.

 

 

(Back to reality…)

Inuyasha returns to Kagome's side and continues calling to her. “Kagome, my love. Please come back to me. Please come back to us. We are all waiting for you. She won't hurt you anymore, not ever again.” Kikyo walks a few feet away with a huge scowl on her face, but no one seems to care much. Instead, they all watch the hanyou's ministrations to the silent girl on the ground.

 

Suddenly responding to Inuyasha, she wakes up breathing heavily, but can't look anyone in the eye. She hasn't heard Inuyasha's rejection of Kikyo. However, she can feel the warm feelings that he is projecting at her. Still feeling that he must be angry with her for what she did, she continues to examine the floor. Her head spinning from her experience inside herself, she feels confused. An understanding Inuyasha kneels down beside her and gently raises her face to look at him. His eyes are warm and bright with realization and relief. Still swimming in the doubt of her own mind, she can only partly understand. She gives him a questioning and uncertain look but he shakes his head and leans forward, gently pressing his lips against hers. The kiss is sweet and filled with openness.

 

“Kagome, forgive me for not telling you sooner and for being a fool, but know the truth- I love you.” He kisses her again almost as if he means to seal the truth of his statement with his actions.

 

Kagome, in joyous shock of the rushing feelings going through her, is at a loss for words for a few moments. She sits up and looks at him with a sad smile. “Inuyasha, you shouldn't love me, because I did such horrible things to you. I really am a selfish person- and what I did was wrong. All I dare ask is that you forgive me.”

 

He looks at her and shakes his head. “Oh listen here, silly girl. I know that I'm a pain in the ass- much more than you could ever be. You aren't selfish, Kagome and this wasn't your fault. Kikyo controlled you; it wasn't of your free will. If it makes you feel better, I forgive you.”

 

“Yes, granted it wasn't of my free will, but the impulses were still a part of me- she was correct about that. I destroyed everything and I dared to hurt my friends. Is this truly what impurity is? The anger that I felt… could I even purify the Shikon no Tama now or would I only tarnish it with those feelings?” Unbidden, she begins to partially weep.

 

Tenderly, he wipes away her stray tears. “Kagome, people are neither one thing nor the other- no one is completely good or evil; it is not within our nature to be absolute in anything. Don't force yourself to be perfect. I love you just as you are. We all love you for who you are. You can't see how wonderful you are.”

 

Kaede puts in her two cents as a voice of authority. “Kagome-chan, you aren't tarnished… and besides, the power of good and evil still rages within the Shikon no Tama. You choose to come back and face the truth and you desire to live better. Bad things happen and we make mistakes but real strength comes from how we react to our mistakes.”

 

Kagome throws her hands up in the air. “But I hurt everyone!”

 

Kaede's face softens even further. “Kagome-chan, pain is part of love and friendship. Nothing is that simple. When people are close, they will naturally step on each others' toes every now and then.”

 

Inuyasha takes Kagome's hands in his own and looks straight into her eyes. “That's right. Also, I do love you- so much more than you can believe. I tried to run from my love for you. I doubted it, especially when I thought that there was someone else, when I thought that Kisho was your boyfriend. Now, I must beg your forgiveness. Please forgive me for doubting my love and try not to doubt me now.” She nods in response and he continues. “As Kaede-babaa says, there will be pain; I can't promise that there will not be misunderstandings and hard times. I know now that the closer you get to someone that you love, the more trust is needed to overcome the sharp pain and anxiety caused by doubt. Bearing together in love, we can handle it. I'm willing and I hope that you are as well. I love you, Kagome.”

 

She pulls him towards her into a tight hug and whispers, “I love you too, Inuyasha. I thought that you couldn't love me. You don't deserve…”

 

He pulls away and looks at her. Cutting her off, he shakes his head. “No, I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. Oh Kagome, part of your goodness is that you can't and somewhat refuse to see how good you really are. Still, regardless of how I treated you, you had faith in me and also in yourself. Don't you know- you are you, Kagome- and that is more than just being anyone's reincarnation. As for making excuses about how I used to act, I was just too stupid to realize everything. Now, I do still love Kikyo, but not really as she is now. She's so different… but you should never feel as if you need to compete with her for me, because you don't. She's part of me, part of my past, but not my future. I must admit that letting go of the past isn't easy, but it's necessary to truly live. Please believe me when I say that I want to live, Kagome… I want to live with you. No matter what happens to us, part of me will always live with you and I hope you'll see it as I see you in myself.” Tears flow down her cheeks and he lifts a hand to her cheek again. She giggles and he smiles at her. Then, she moves closer until their lips meet again, but this time with equal amounts of passion coming from each of them.

 

Meanwhile, Kikyo doesn't move and stands watching impassively, but the rest of the group don't know exactly how to respond either. Still, Sango's eyes are warm and teary, although she's trying to pretend that's not true. Her smile shines bright. Miroku puts an arm around her shoulders and holds her protectively and comfortingly. They look at each other and smile at the happiness of their friends. Shippo raptly surveys and rejoices in the joyous atmosphere. He perches on Kaede's shoulder and innocently remains quiet, although he fidgets and obviously is ready to jump out of his skin. Kaede looks at her older sister with slight pity but approves of Inuyasha and Kagome. She remains silent but quietly smiles.

 

An indefinite amount of time passes before Inuyasha picks Kagome up and plants her on her feet with a huge hug. Pulling back slightly, he takes both of her hands in his and looks at her seriously. “Kagome, let's go for a walk for a moment.” She nods and so they head outside and sit down on a couple of tree stumps.

 

He clears his throat. “Kagome, I love you but I hope you know that I don't know what this love will entail. I can't predict the future, nor can you, even with your powers.” He smiles at his joke and she grins back at him. “Please don't hate me and try to understand when I say this, but I can't promise you anything more than the fact that I'll always love you and be there for you when you need me. As for anything more than that, we have no idea how everything'll turn out. I hope you can love me now, in the present, and leave the future to work itself out. There are too many complicating factors, dear, and I want you to be happy. Whatever will come will come and I'll still love you. I hope that you can still accept my love in spite of this. I say this and mean it because I want you to be happy- and I hope you understand.”

 

His eyes plead with her and she takes in this information for a moment before smiling brightly. She kisses him. “Yes, I think that I understand, Inuyasha. You're right- we do not know what will happen with the well and the Shikon no Tama and everything. I want you to be happy, especially if something happens. I agree to your terms, although I must admit that is one of the strangest speeches- in a way it's not romantic at all.”

 

“Romantic, huh? Well, love is more than romance, isn't it, Kagome?” He squeezes her hand.

 

She blushes and nods. “Oh yes of course. I couldn't have thought about that… why did you think about that?”

 

His cheeks turn slightly red to match his haori. “Because of Kikyo- it didn't work out- in fact it worked out so badly. Your happiness means more to me than some silly romance and that's because I love you.”

 

“I love you too and I also wish the best for you.” She leans over to steal another kiss. After a few moments of starry-eyed wonder, they both pull away. With a silly grin, he nods and gestures to the hut. She stands up and offers him her hand; they return to Kaede's hut- to their waiting friends.

 

As they enter, Kikyo stealthily appears behind them to sarcastically ask, “Then, you'll live happily ever after?”

 

Kagome cryptically smiles at IY before turning to look Kikyo in the eye. “No, we won't.” Kikyo, Kaede, Miroku, Sango, Shippo and Kirara gasp in surprise and stare.

 

Sango pulls away from Miroku and walks forward to touch Kagome's shoulder. “Surely that's a joke, Kagome-chan. This is going to be a happy ending, isn't it?”

 

Kagome shakes her head. “It's not that simple.” She looks at Inuyasha for a moment. “No, living happily ever after would mean that something would end. Stories may end, but life goes on. Nothing ever really ends. Yes, there are milestones on the journey to mark the path, but there is no set destination to launch toward. Time goes on. In fact, the important thing isn't to live happily ever after or not but to truly live, and to truly live every day with all of your heart, period. An ending implies finality so if everything ends here, we wouldn't be living.” Kikyo walks away without a word, but no one but Kaede notices. Silently in her heart, she tells her sister that she loves her, that she's sorry and that she hopes that someday she'll understand.

 

Before Kikyo could leave completely, Kagome turns back to Kikyo with a slight smile on her face. “Oh, Kikyo- wait a second. I have a few things to say to you. I've been thinking. You know- we aren't exactly one in the same as you said. Naturally, I should be furious with you for invading my privacy and trying to ruin my relationships with my friends. Of course, I'm angry, but I will get over it and forgive you. Yes, I know that I'm weak and that I'm probably not a match for you, but I don't have to be. I have my friends and I have Inuyasha. If I have faith in myself and do my best, then I will never be able to hate myself for giving up. For a little while, you succeeded in frightening me into silent submission, but I could not give up. After all, I love them and as the shock wore off, I knew that I had to return to them- no matter what their reactions might be. I was lucky.” She looks around at her loving friends. “But I was thinking… you told me that I didn't accept Inuyasha as he is and that I didn't accept or respect his goals. Well, ironically, neither do you, not really. You desire to change him and you always have- from when you wanted him to use the Shikon no Tama to become human and when you wanted to take him to hell with you. This time you wanted to make him give up his friends just so that you could have him. I don't understand why you did this, but I can't help but think- maybe you don't respect him either. I don't understand you, Kikyo, nor will I ever.” Kikyo nods without emotion and turns on her heel to disappear.

 

Everyone stares at Kagome and glances at the dead woman who walks out, but after a few moments of dead silence, they begin to breathe again. Sango, puzzled at Kagome's words, returns to take Miroku's hand and shrug. Miroku raises his eyebrow but smiles down at Sango. Shippo stops fidgeting and continues to stare. Silently, Inuyasha and Kagome look into each others' eyes and feel each others' souls- to the exclusion of everything else.

 

 

 

Answer part 2- Ok, I was afraid when I thought up this ending idea that people might assume that Kagome was weak, but I hope that you will be able to understand why… but anyway are you ready- here's the rest of my explanation for writing Kagome as giving up so easily when Kikyo tells her what a bad person she is… Like I said before, Kikyo deals her a swift, psychological blow that overloads her mind. She doesn't have time to think- she feels, feels too much and wants to escape from it. It is not a lack of strength- because she had no idea what had been going on. It is the kind of reaction that I would expect- that is what I would do. Now you have seen that this was not the end- it was not Kagome's last response to what happened- it was only her first response. I think about it in terms of Ayashi no Ceres- that's kinda where I got the idea. You know- when she does not want to awaken to the terrors of the world and so allows Ceres to take over. Psychological pain can make people hide inside of themselves- that is what is happening here, but it is a place to regroup- to regain strength- and you saw Kagome's strength when she decided not to give up completely. So I hope that now you understand that better in context. Also, I realize that the dream thing is also similar to the Sailor Moon S movie, the Fushigi Yuugi episode with the mirror and Evangelion's last episode (There are probably more, but I am not sure, nor am I seriously motivated to go and find all the influences that created this idea.).

 

Other notes: Anyone think it's weird that for a week and a half now, it appears that I have two fewer reviews on this story, but when I count all are there. Strange, huh?

 

Shoutouts:

Asianbaby599- I'm finishing; I'm finishing…

Classic Cowboy- Hey I'm glad at least you liked it. Yeah it was sad and I hate Kikyo sometimes too. I hope at least you can put up with me for that weird chapter and making Kagome seem weak- I hope you understand.

Angelstars- Hmm I was afraid it was getting really obvious- glad to know that it wasn't completely obvious anyway. Yeah Kagome fell for it; I know. Perhaps it seemed too easy and that it seemed like Kagome was weak, but I know I would have been in shock. I hope that you understand- especially after seeing her come back and stand up to Kikyo- what I meant and why I did that.

Nankinmai- Hey sorry it was a weird chapter, but I hope that you can forgive me for that. I am glad that you told me what you thought so that I could explain. I'll probably go back at some point and make what happened there clearer… and I hope that you forgive me.

DiLLiRgA- No, you're right. She doesn't deserve it. The last should be up fast!!!

 

Stay tuned for Pt 19- Epilogue: Mirror Monologues Kisho and other slight mysteries still to be explained!!! Please review, everyone! Please, please, please!