InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In a Different Light ❯ Fantasy ( Chapter 20 )
Author's Notes: Same warning for Chapter 16 applies to this chapter. This fic is rated NC-17 for a reason, and this chapter is one of them ^ ^. If you have a problem with, or you're not old enough to read about physical acts of a sexual nature, please, don't read any further. You have been warned.
Thanks for reading, and please be kind enough to leave a review on your way out-theMaven :)
In a Different Light
Chapter 19: Fantasy
"Fun and games is fun and games. Is that not what you said?"
Indeed, Rin thought to herself. And she would have her fun and her revenge . . . just not today.
She concentrated on the feel of Sesshomaru's warm, strong palm between her shoulder blades, gently guiding her along in the darkness. How long had she wished to walk with him in such a way? How long had she wished to feel his hand upon her body? How long had she wished to be his, and only his, not just as his faithful follower, but as . . .
She heard him draw in a deep breath as his hand slipped from her upper back to her right shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.
"What are you thinking, my Rin?"
She smiled slyly to herself. "Something entirely pleasant," she assured him.
"That much I can tell."
She chuckled softly. How much trouble had his nose gotten her into over the years? And . . . gotten her out of? Equal amounts of both, she assumed. And, perhaps, she could use that to her advantage . . . Later, she promised herself. Later, she'd have some fun with her lord. Perhaps after they returned to the castle . . . when he was least expecting it.
It wouldn't be any fun, after all, if he was expecting it. And after everything he'd done to her today, he was definitely expecting some form of retaliation.
"Oh, my Rin, I'm counting on it."
And, as a general rule, she hated to disappoint him, but she wasn't about to play into his hands again today. Predator and prey, indeed.
"Rin."
"Oh, yes, you asked me what I was thinking." How much longer before they got to this "spring" of his? As much as she liked his company, the darkness was really beginning to wear on her. "Do you dream, Sesshomaru?"
"On occasion. When I deign to sleep."
"What do you dream?"
He was slow to answer. "It varies," he said simply.
"As do mine," she replied. "At first they were mainly nightmares. The murder of my family, the beatings I took from the villagers, my death by the wolves." A lump formed in her throat which she promptly swallowed down. His grip on her shoulder seemed to tighten. "But, gradually, as time went on, and I got accustomed to my 'new' life," she smiled, "those dreams faded and new ones emerged."
He gave her no prompt to continue, nor did he attempt to hush her in any way.
She assumed he was listening with his usual quiet thoughtfulness, so she took his silence as a sign to continue. "They started off simply-just me running and smiling and laughing, doing normal kid things. Picking flowers, climbing trees, swimming in the river. Fishing, picking berries . . . stealing melons," she giggled quietly. "Then they stopped being about things, and started starring more people. Jakken would chase me around the forest. Ah-Un would take me flying over the treetops. You would . . . simply be there."
She remembered the sudden . . . comfort she'd felt the first time he'd appeared in her dreams. He didn't say anything or do anything, but just knowing he was there made her feel safe and protected. Like nothing could ever hurt her again.
"A few times the nightmares and the new dreams would . . . overlap each other, I guess. The bandits would come for my family, and Ah-Un would swoop down and fly us all to safety. Or the villagers would be kicking me and hitting me, and then Jakken would come and knock them all out with the Staff of Heads. And when the wolves would come, you'd simply glare at them, and they'd run away, or you'd slash them to bits with your claws. You'd think I'd be bothered by all the blood and gore when you did that, but . . . Better theirs than mine, right?"
He squeezed her shoulder, as if in affirmation.
"Then I got older, and my dreams changed again. They . . . You . . ." She felt the heat rise in her cheeks. "You . . . took on a more . . . active roll, let's say."
She heard a slight chuckle from her immediate left. Doubtless, he was smirking at her again. She could just imagine-little Rin having dirty dreams about her lord and master. Though, she hadn't been that "little" at the time. Certainly, she was younger, and a little shorter, weaker, but thirteen was of childbearing age.
"It's not what you think," she half-laughed, half-pleaded. They didn't start out being so explicit. They were simple in the beginning, innocent. "You were simply more . . . open in my dreams. You smiled more, and you talked more. You told me that you liked having me around, and that I . . . You said I was the best thing in your life, and then we'd walk through the forest holding hands."
She smiled to herself remembering how . . . pleasant that particular dream had felt. The sun on their faces, a spring in her step, a song in her heart . . . His large, clawed hand wrapped around her smaller, daintier one . . . Not that she was very dainty, now. As Master Sumida had promised her, after years of training, she'd managed to build up quite a bit of lean, strong muscle. And for a woman, she was undeniably tall. Taller than some men, as a matter of fact. She came right up to her lord's shoulder. She only had to glance slightly upwards to meet him straight in the eye.
"We're nearly there."
Rin snapped out of her reverie and glanced ahead, noticing a wide stream of light illuminating part of the passageway. There must be a hole in the ceiling somewhere, she surmised. She also noticed the sound of falling water coupled with their footsteps as they neared the end of the dank darkness, finally stepping into the relative warmth of the filtered sunlight.
They rounded a bend and entered a new section of the cave. It was so nice to see again. And what a sight it was . . .
"I believe you owe me an apology," Sesshomaru said smoothly.
Not only was there a hot spring nestled in the back corner of the sunlit cavern, but there was a natural geyser, spewing forth clouds of warm, penetrating steam and an underground waterfall which cascaded its way down the far right cave wall into a calm, clear river, winding its way down the outskirts of the cavern and into an adjoining cave. The moisture in the air met with the rays of light to produce colorful displays across the cave's craggy surface, making the stalagmites and stalactites appear less like rocky spears of death and more like conical configurations of color and stone. And there was a full-blown rainbow that spanned from the top of the waterfall to the bottom.
"I'm sorry," Rin said, still in awe of the setting. If there was a paradise on earth. . . .
Sesshomaru smirked, stepping away from her, heading towards the spring.
"Really beautiful," Rin marveled, sword and bath supplies still in hand. Had he known all this would be in the cave, or had he simply followed his nose to the spring, and everything else was a surprise?
He could've heard the falling water, of course. But did he know it would be like this?
She glanced up at the skylight in the ceiling and was delighted that she could not only see the sky and the rolling clouds above, but she could make out some of the trees and shrubs that must be resting on the roof of the cave, as well. Proof that the world was continuing on outside while Sesshomaru and she were stealing these few moments to be alone together.
Her thoughts were disrupted when she heard a low, obviously contented, growl echo throughout the cavern. She turned her attention to the spring to see that Sesshomaru had already disrobed and was currently soaking himself up to his chest in the center of the spring. His armor, swords and clothing were arranged in a neat pile on the outer edge of the basin.
She smiled to herself and made her way to the right corner of the cave, just behind the falls. "Starting without me, are you?" She placed her sword and supplies down, laying her fresh kimonos in a neat pile beside his. She then began undressing herself, slightly aware of his eyes upon her.
"You seemed content to see the sites; I came to bathe."
"As did I." She watched him watching her as she unfastened the last of her tunic's woven clasps and prepared to slip the top from her shoulders. Their eyes locked for a moment as she held the garment closed at her chest. "Can't you turn around?" she asked.
"Why?"
"Did I watch you undress?"
"You had the opportunity," he replied. "Your attention was simply focused elsewhere."
"Well, can't you focus your attention elsewhere?"
"What else is there to capture my attention?"
Her cheeks tinged red, half out of embarrassment, half out of anger. He won't give me one little break, will he? He's enjoying this!
"Why do you hesitate?" he asked. "I've seen you unclothed before."
"Yeah, well, having someone undress you is a hell of a lot different than undressing yourself while someone else watches!"
He stood up from the spring. "If you desired my assistance, you simply should have asked."
Rin stood stock still as Sesshomaru's nude form advanced to the edge of the spring, steam rising off his lithe form, his wet hair shining like liquid silver as it framed his face and molded itself to the back of his body. Warm water ran down the smooth planes of his pale chest, over and between the tightly toned ripples of his mid-section, saturating the silver curls at the apex of powerful thighs, trickling down the long length of his exposed manhood., following the flow of his trim hips to his outer thighs to his well-defined calves.
Rin reminded herself to breathe as she noticed that the stripes on his cheeks repeated themselves on his wrist, hips and ankles. This morning she felt a little too . . . self-conscious to allow her eyes to wander too far down his physique, but how could she ignore something he so obviously wanted her to see?
As he came closer, her gaze dropped lower.
"Site seeing again?"
Her head snapped back at the sound of his voice. She didn't know why she was so surprised to see him standing so close. She'd stood there and watched him walk over to her, after all.
"Here." He reached out and grasped the opening she'd created in her top.
She let her hands drop to her sides as he slid the left side of her tunic down her shoulder, exposing her left breast. Her attention was admittedly focused elsewhere, though. His manhood hung down mere inches away from her left hand, and it took everything she had to resist the intense impulse to just reach out and grab him.
He removed the right half of her top from her shoulder and, reaching around her, removed her upper garment completely. He then reached for her waistband and began to tug downwards. "You do realize you'll have to learn to undress yourself eventually."
Rin nodded, her eyes still fixated on the tubular organ between his thighs. "You seem quite . . . calm about all this."
He seemed to pay her comment little mind. "As I said, I came to bathe. I do believe you can handle the chore of stepping out of your pants."
"Hmm?" She glanced down at her own body, now noticing that she was completely bare, her training pants bunched down around her ankles. "By the gods!" She quickly crossed one arm over her chest, sending her other hand down to cover her exposed charms.
"Why do you cover yourself?" he asked, sounding slightly puzzled. "You wished me to undress you, did you not?"
She found it easier look at his waist than up at his face. "I'm sorry, but I'm still not used to this."
"I see."
She felt his gaze travel the length of her body and watched, fascinated as his male member seemed to swell and . . . extend somewhat. She chanced a glance up at him, catching a hint of mischief in his amber eyes. "You're teasing me again, aren't you?"
"If you think I am . . . too calm, perhaps you should try to excite me."
Mischief. Definitely mischief. "Is that a challenge?" she asked.
"Take it as you will."
She again felt his gaze on her body, wandering down her neck to her collarbone and breastbone, running along the length of the arm that shielded her breasts from sight. That look alone made the hand covering her sex twitch, her pinky slipping slightly down, seeking entrance into her own body.
After holding his stare a moment longer, the demon lord turned with a smirk, sinking back down into the warm water of the hot spring.
Rin stared after his retreating form, her pinky still acting with a mind of its own.
"Bring me the soap, Rin. Even if you do not wish to bathe, I do."
She quickly withdrew her hand and crouched down to retrieve the bath salts and soaps. She then stood and stepped into the basin, hissing slightly as the hot water covered the tips of her toes. She gave her body a moment to adjust to the water's temperature, then stepped the rest of the way into the spring. "Come closer to the edge," she called out. "I'll wash your hair for you."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "And you cannot wash it over here because?"
She held up the silver container of liquid soap. "Nowhere to rest this in the center of the spring. Come closer."
They regarded one another through the steam of the spring.
"Please," she added sweetly.
He again stood and made his way over to her.
She journeyed down the underwater ledge of the spring, careful not to trip on its uneven surface, letting the warm water lick at the bottom of her thighs. She then opened the soap, set it down on the edge and lathered up her palms.
Sesshomaru sat down in front of her, his back towards her, his hair floating out behind him.
Rin gave an impish grin as she gathered up the ends of his hair, soaping it up as she made her way to his scalp. Feeling his wet hair in her hands was a decidedly different sensation than combing her fingers through the silvery strands. It felt like . . . lotion. Soft, slippery and smooth. Coupled with the rose scent of the soap, she could easily imagine running his hair up and down the length of her body, over her arms and legs, across her chest and shoulders, down her back and buttocks . . .
She dipped her hand back into the soap, working the lather deeper into his scalp, enjoying the feel of the soapy strands as they slipped through her fingers.
"You did not finish."
"Hmm?"
"Your dream," he said simply.
"Oh! No, I guess I didn't. Wh-what was I talking about?"
"Holding hands."
She couldn't help but notice the hint of amusement in his voice. "That's all there was to that dream."
"But you've had others."
"I have," she nodded, scraping her nails against his scalp. A smug smile sprang to her lips as she noticed the shudder that seemed to shoot down his spine. No, today wasn't the day to get even when he was so obviously expecting it . . . but there was no reason she couldn't amuse herself a little in the meantime.
"Tell me," his voice taking on a slightly husky tone.
"Well, as I was saying, that dream was completely innocent . . . The other ones, the later ones were . . . a bit more explicit."
"Continue."
The raw edge she heard beneath the smooth facade of his voice brought an immediate itch to the intimate area between her thighs. "Well . . ." she took a deep breath and swallowed, "after you explained to me about . . . mating . . . and scents and everything. It just . . . seemed to work its way into my dreams."
He inclined his head slightly, though she wasn't sure if it was to signify understanding or to dig her nails deeper into his scalp.
"Instead of walking in the woods holding hands, you'd . . . You'd say everything I said before, but you'd add a bit about noticing the change in my scent."
"Oh?"
As she continued to work the lather through his hair, she couldn't help but notice the strong, sensuous column of his neck and the way his ears stuck out slightly from the sides of his head. If she didn't know any better, she would've sworn they were . . . twitching.
"Rin."
"Oh, yeah, um," she developed a slight case of the giggles, embarrassed by what she knew she was going to say. "You'd tell me that . . . you tried ignoring it, but you couldn't . . . and, uh," the giggles became a little stronger, interfering with her telling of the tale. "You, uh, as strong a d-demon as you were . . . you said you, uh . . . you couldn't deny yourself any longer, and . . ." She was overtaken by a violent fit of the giggles, her face burning bright red, her fingers still flexing against his scalp.
"Is that thought that amusing to you?"
She continued to laugh, unable to speak.
"Rin. Settle yourself."
She drew in a few deep gulps of air, trying to force down her chuckles. "I'm sorry," she choked out. "I don't know why I'm telling you this, any way. You're just going to use it against me."
He seemed to consider her words. "Would you not enjoy a fantasy come to life?"
She bit her lower lip to stifle her laugh. Talk, Rin. Talking isn't hard. Just take a deep breath, square your shoulders, open your mouth and . . . "I'm sorry. I'm better, now."
He, again, inclined his head forward. "Continue, then."
She swallowed hard, drew in a calming breath, then pushed it out. "You said . . . as great a demon as you are, you couldn't resist me any longer, and you must have me as yours."
"And then?"
She smiled shyly to herself. "I ran away scared and locked myself in my room."
An uneasy quiet settled over the cavern.
The splash of the falls, the squish of the soap, Rin's heart pounding loudly in her ears.
"I thought we were in the forest," Sesshomaru said.
"It was a dream. Anything can happen in dreams." She took a moment to compose herself, then continued. "Anyway, I eventually fell asleep, and then I woke up in the middle of the night because someone had come into my room."
She felt sort of . . . shaky recalling the next part of the dream. Her fingers, formerly steady and sure, began to shake and falter slightly. "You came into my room," she said softly. "And you sit down on my bed and ask me why I ran off. And I don't answer. You tell me that you really need me, then you try to kiss me, but I pull away. You ask me if I'm scared of you, now, and I . . . I say 'I don't know.' And then . . . you looked kind of sad, and you got up and left, saying you wouldn't bother me, anymore."
The cavern again fell quiet.
What was wrong with her? That wasn't the version of the dream she wanted to tell him. Yes, she had that particular dream one night, but she'd had other ones, pleasant ones that started off the same way, but ended with him sweeping her into his arm, while he kissed her and caressed her and . . . made her feel all kinds of wonderful.
Why couldn't she have told him one of those dreams instead of the one that always made her cry?
"I should rinse my hair, now."
Rin nodded, blinking back tears, pulling her soap-covered hands back to her sides.
He ducked himself beneath the water, then re-emerged., water streaming down his head and back.
"I should get a towel." She trudged out of the spring, retrieved a cotton towel, then slipped back into the water behind him. She tossed the towel over her shoulder, then pulled his hair up, squeezing out the excess water.
"You seem to have many unpleasant dreams," he said softly.
"Sometimes," she replied honestly.
"What made that dream most unpleasant?"
She wrapped the towel around his head and began blotting it dry. "Being so damned ineffectual," she muttered.
"How old were you when you first had that dream?"
"Thirteen, I think. Almost fourteen."
"Years ago," he said.
Rin nodded. "I suppose it was a while ago."
"You've changed much since then."
"Yes, I have." She laughed softly to herself in recognition of her self-important tone. "Was it just me, or did that sound an awful lot like Jakken?"
"Yes."
She picked up a bit of irritation in his tone, a tenseness in his posture. "Sorry about that. If I ever do it again, just hit me."
He stopped the motions of the towel on his head, grasping her right wrist. "Never."
"Hmm?" She stared down at his hand, slightly confused by his actions.
"This Sesshomaru would never strike his mate or intentionally harm her in any way."
She tried to pull her wrist away. "I know that."
"Do you?" He glanced over his shoulder at her, refusing to relinquish the hold on her hand.
"Yes!" Her voice carried across the cavern, startling even her with its volume. "I mean, yes," she replied more softly. "It was an old dream from a long time ago, and you didn't hurt me, I hurt you."
"You weren't hurt that I left?"
"It was a dream."
"Even dreams are subject to interpretation."
She tried to pull away again, more forcefully. "It was a lousy dream, Sesshomaru. It doesn't mean anything."
"Then why bring it up? Why now?"
"You told me to," she argued. "Will you just. Let. Go!"
"No," he said simply. "I will not let go. I will not leave. You wish to be mine, and I am determined to have you."
"No!" Hot tears poured down her face as she tried to yank her hand free with all her might. "Gods! Just let me go!"
"Why do you struggle, Rin? Why do you fight against yourself?"
She tried to back herself out of the spring, hoping to take her right arm with her.
"You cannot go free unless I release you."
"This isn't a game," she cried.
"No, it is not."
"This isn't funny!"
"No, it is not."
She continued to try and tug herself free.
"Rin, if you continue to try to wrench your arm free, you will break it."
"Then let me go!"
"I cannot."
Rin wailed. "Please! Just let me go . . . I'm sorry. I don't want to. Just pick somebody else . . . Please!"
He remained calm, cool, comfortably sitting in the warm water as she kicked it up around him. "I do not want someone else, and you know this."
"I'm not worthy!" she screamed. "You don't love me; you feel sorry for me. I'm not a mate! I'm a pet. I'm a toy. A servant, a follower, an amusement, a distraction . . . I . . ."
He continued to glance over his shoulder at her.
She soon stopped struggling, giving a sigh of defeat, her head hung low. "I . . . This just doesn't feel real, Sesshomaru. I . . ." She drew in a deep breath and pushed it out, sniffing back tears. What the hell was wrong with her? Of course, this was real. Of course, he was real, and she was real. And . . .
She let her head drop back, staring up at the ceiling and around the cavern, watching the clouds roll by, the colors dancing in the air, Sesshomaru sitting at her feet; listening to the crash of the waterfalls, the hiss of the geyser; feeling the mist in the air, the warm water lapping at her skin, her wrist wrapped in his clawed hand . . . This was all definitely real.
"I . . . I think I love you too much," she said barely above a whisper. "Today just proves it. I . . . I want you so badly . . . and . . . I want you to want me just as badly, which means that someone's bound for some disappointment somewhere along the line . . . So maybe . . . maybe things would just be best if-if we went back to the way things were. You know, before this whole courtship thing." She sighed heavily and watched as she wiggled her toes beneath the water. "I'm sure you don't really want a human, anyway. We cause so much trouble, and what do you really get out of it?"
A small smile graced his perfect face. "I get you."
Rin scoffed. "And why would you want that?"
He loosened his grip on her wrist and gently urged her around his side to stand in front of him. He stared at her as she stared down at her feet, her bangs blocking her eyes from view. He waited patiently for her look at him, her wrist clasped in his hand, her toe digging into the rocky bottom of the spring, her eyes looking everywhere but at him.
But, at last, she looked up, and he locked her gaze into place with his own.
Under normal circumstances, Sesshomaru would never let anyone stand taller than him. He was the Lord of the Western Lands, one of the most feared and well-respected demons in all Japan. He did not look up to anyone . . . until now.
He calmly remained seated, his head slightly back, while his lady stood before him, her head slightly down, anguish and despair rolling off her in waves. "What must I do to prove myself to you?"
She choked on a laugh. "Don't be silly."
He continued to stare up at her, into her, through her.
"You're serious?"
He inclined his head slightly forward, still holding her gaze.
"I don't want you to do anything. Everything's fine."
"You've implied that I'm not worthy of your affection. You claim that you love me too much."
"I . . ."
"Perhaps I do not play fair."
Rin sighed. "I . . . I just don't like to feel stupid. I don't . . . It's just . . . I feel as if you're . . . manipulating me to your own ends, and I'm not clever enough to catch on till you've already had your fun. Maybe . . . maybe the villagers were right, and I am just some sort of," she choked on her last words, "sex toy."
He felt a cold stab of pain pierce his chest and run through the length of his left side. All the joy, all the merriment and mirth, that spark of mischief, that soft glow of admiration . . . that flare of anger, that twinkle of desire, that roaring flame that he'd come to associate with her life-everything that he'd come to . . . love about her big, brilliant, bright brown eyes were gone, extinguished, stamped out beneath his very feet. All that remained was hurt, uncertainty and shame.
"I . . . I just can't say no to you," she said. "Which, in a dream, is always amusing and fun and . . . exciting. But in real life, the only women who allow themselves to be continuously seduced are . . . whores." She swallowed hard and drew in a deep breath, pushing it out in one steady stream.
Sesshomaru sat silently digesting all her words, a dull ache throbbing in the center of his chest. He had caused this. He'd caused this turmoil, this anguish, this . . . disgust reflected in his mate's eyes. Perhaps . . . No, not perhaps, he had been too forward with her, too physical, too fast. It was his own fault. She was too young, too inexperienced.
He cursed himself inwardly for putting this undue stress on her. Simply because he scented her desire didn't give him the right to impose his own desires upon her. It was merely her body reacting to his. She gave no other signal that she wanted him to touch her. She never initiated the contact. In his arrogance he simply assumed that it was her inexperience, her uncertainty that kept her from taking what he so freely offered. It never occurred to him that she might have other reasons for denying herself the pleasures he offered. And this morning after he'd put her through four hours of grueling practice, and she so obviously wanted to be with him on her own terms, he turned it into a game where he had the upper hand, and she was little more than a pawn to be manipulated and maneuvered through the dark cavern of his desires.
He had gone too far. He wasn't playing fair. If it had been a demoness in a similar situation with similar vulnerabilities, she would have ripped his head off . . . Or at least tried to. Then he would have killed her for raising her hand to him.
He cursed himself again. But Rin wasn't a demoness. She was . . . completely unlike anything he'd come across in his nearly five centuries of life. She was not a toy, not a distraction (as he'd previously claimed) and she was so much more than a simple servant or a faithful follower. She was his perfect complement. She was light and sunshine, warmth and compassion, smiles and laughter. She was loyal, lively and courageous. She was a fast learner, a dedicated student, the prize pupil to all her instructors. She was . . . smiling at him?
He narrowed his gaze slightly, focusing in on the small smile now gracing her face, a little of that old light returning to her eyes.
She cleared her throat. "But since we've already been through that whole whore scenario, I guess I just need to get over myself and be thankful for the things I have. This," she gestured to the cavern, the waterfalls, the spring . . . him, "is better than anything I could've dreamed up in my simple little mind . . . I suppose it's just little overwhelming. You know, when dreams come true. It's a little difficult distinguishing between fantasy and reality."
Comfort, he realized. She wants to be comforted. Not just for right now, but for all the times passed and all times to come. She doesn't want you to nuzzle her or kiss her or put your hand all over her body. She wants words, your words. Not innuendo, not seduction . . . comfort. But . . . "When . . ." the Lord of the Western Lands does not hesitate, does not 'mince' words. "You are human, Rin."
She looked puzzled for a moment, then nodded. "Yes."
"In my limited experience, I've observed that when humans are hurt they wish to be comforted. They wish to hear words of consolation and care. They wish to be told everything will be all right, there's nothing to fear and other such sentiments."
She nodded again. "I guess that's right."
"This Sesshomaru is not human, Rin. I am an inu taiyoukai."
She nodded again. "I know."
"We run on instinct as opposed to emotion. We do have emotions, but from a young age we are taught to ignore them. They cause too much disruption-fear, anger, love and what have you. They can only confuse you and impede the natural progression of things."
Rin shrugged. "Oh-kay."
"If you must face a situation, face it logically or instinctively; all else is foolishness."
She shrugged again. "Okay."
"In my true form, speech capabilities are quite limited, and as words fail, instinct takes over. Even in this form when words fail, instinct takes over."
"So . . . instead of saying, 'You're really pissing me off,' you just growl and try to rip their heads off."
A slight smile crossed his lips. "Yes." The pain in his chest seemed to lessen, the heavy cold dissipating, overwhelmed by a sudden warmth, a light airiness.
By the gods, you're actually going to tell her, aren't you? You're going to face up to that moment you've been dreading since you began this whole . . . courtship thing. That's what you're going to do, isn't it?
Yes, he told himself. I must.
"That's right, Rin. And . . ." Was this nervousness he was feeling? Apprehension? When was the last time he'd been troubled by such . . . emotions?
Ah, yes. Just before his hundredth year. With Mitsuko.
"Well, of course, I love you, Sesshomaru. It's my job. What kind of courtesan would I be if I didn't?"
Such foolishness, he cursed himself.
Some of the tightness returned to his chest, his posture stiffened, he tightened the grip he held on Rin's wrist.
"Sesshomaru?"
"I will only say this once, Rin. I dislike repeating myself, and as this sentiment is true now, it will remain true as long as we know each other."
She seemed slightly troubled, but made no motion to dissuade him.
"I love you, Rin," he said in his most straightforward manner. "It is not my way to say so on a continual basis, but my instincts dictate that I demonstrate my need for you and remind you of your relevance in my life through physical acts." He locked her gaze with his. "It is not meant to intimidate, nor manipulate or coerce. It is simply the male's way of showing approval, gaining approval, offering comfort and getting the female's attention."
She stared at him a moment, then dropped her gaze, giggling slightly, a red tinge working its way into her cheeks.
He watched her with open fascination.
"And the female just . . . accepts all this?"
He inclined his head. "If she truly accepts the male."
"And do they exhibit the same behavior? The females?"
"When appropriate."
Rin nodded. "I have to finish giving you your bath."
He held onto her wrist as she tried to pull it free. "You do not have to."
She bit her lower lip. "Well then . . . I want to."
They regarded one another. One sitting, one standing. One demon, one human. One male, one female. Gold eyes and brown eyes, clouded over by the rising rainbow mists in the cave and the growing heat between their two bodies.
Not knowing what else to say, how else to get his attention, how else to clear the air between them, Rin placed her free hand on his left shoulder, leaned down and licked his left ear.
Sesshomaru growled.
Feeling encouraged, she gave her right hand a tug, turning her wrist in his grasp, so that she could sit down on his right side. As she sank down in the waist-high, warm water, she pulled the damp towel from his head and tossed it on the pile with her training uniform, giving him an impish grin.
He turned towards her to eliminate the awkward angle of her arm, his knee now pressed against her thigh, his eyes focused in on her, clearly curious about her intentions.
She brushed back his still damp locks, then pressed a chaste kiss to the right side of his neck. "I'm still not exactly sure what I'm doing," she said softly, "but I'm willing to give it a try." She kissed him again, closer to his ear, her fingers nestled among the fine hairs at the nape of his neck sensually stroking his sensitive scalp.
"Why?" His eyelids drooped, his lips slightly parted as the breathy one-word sigh escaped.
She trailed the tip of her tongue along the pointed tip of his ear. "Because," she said, "if you can comfort me in my way, then I should be able to comfort you in yours." She giggled light-heartedly, "No matter how strange it may seem . . . It's not really that bad, I guess. The rest of your skin tastes just as sweet as your mouth." She sucked the tip of his ear into her mouth as he raised her hand to his mouth, gently turned it over and kissed the underside of her wrist.
"I am yours, my Rin. Use me as you see fit." He released her right hand and let it trail across his chest.
"Oh?" she asked. "As I see fit?" She ran her hand lower, over his mid-section, feeling the taut muscles twitch beneath her touch.
He inclined his head slightly forward.
"And, without words in your way, how would I show you how . . . relevant you are to my life?"
A low growl worked its way up from the back of his throat. "There are many ways."
"Oh?" she asked. "Like this?" She rubbed her nose in the crook of his neck, earning a deep rumble from the center of his chest. "Or this?" She scratched his scalp with the tips of her nails.
"Yesssss . . ."
"Or what about this?" She pushed her hand past the surface the water and ran her fingertips through the fine, wet curls at the base of his shaft.
He squeezed his eyes shut and drew in one short, sharp breath.
Rin grinned. "I do believe I caught you by surprise. I guess your nose doesn't work as well when you're dealing with water."
"Rin . . ."
She continued to comb through the hair in both locations, using her fingertips to run slow circles against his sensitive flesh.
The low rumbling in his chest increased and he thrust his hips slightly forward.
Her grin grew. If there was one thing she learned from his little "lesson" this morning, it was rhythm and repetition. Pick a spot somewhere on their body; establish a rhythm, be it with kisses or caresses; pick a coordinating spot somewhere else on their body and repeat the same rhythm there. It was relatively simple but, judging by the blissful expression on Sesshomaru's face, highly effective.
She brought her mouth down to his ear. "Do you like that?" she asked gently. "Does it feel good to have my hands on your body?"
"V-very . . ."
She shook her head, rubbing her nose against the side of his neck. "You're still coherent. I'm disappointed."
He grasped her right hand and forced her fingers to wrap around the base of his shaft.
She gasped at the smooth firmness she found there, his long, hard length pressed snugly against the soft surface of her palm, even her longest finger unable to grasp the complete girth of him.
He tilted his head slightly back and brushed the tip of his nose against the side of her face. "If it is my incoherence you seek," he squeezed her hand, "you will find it here."
She drew in a shaky breath. "Not as calm as the last time I saw you."
"No." He guided her hand up and down the length of his male member, showing her exactly how much pressure to apply and how to rotate her wrist as she neared the tip of his shaft. He then directed her thumb to brush over his rounded tip before beginning the entire motion over again.
"So . . . this is what you like."
He continued to direct her motions, a sleepy smile spreading across his face.
"I'll take that as a 'yes.'"
His hand soon dropped to his side and inched its way around her waist.
"And what do you think you're doing?" she asked teasingly.
He dropped his nose to the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply as he nibbled his way along her neck, licking here, sucking there, his hand traveling along the smooth curves of her side.
"Mmmmm . . . Sesshomaru . . ."
He growled slightly when the rhythm he'd taught her faltered as his hand grazed the underside of her breast.
"Sorry."
He kissed down the front of her throat as he cupped her right breast from behind, repeatedly passing his thumb and forefinger over its dusky peak. He did with his fingers what she did with her whole hand, and soon they were both flushed and short of breath.
"More," Rin insisted.
He grasped her around the waist, pulling her to her feet, then sat her down on the edge of the spring. He stood slightly off to her side, running his hand up and down her thighs as his mouth trailed wet kisses up the column of her neck to her left ear. Rin half giggled, half moaned, enjoying the tender touches he bestowed upon her body as liquid heat began to build up in her belly, slowly slipping its way between her thighs and settling at her very core. He growled lowly in her ear, urging her to return to her previous activity.
Thus motivated, she reached out and passed her right hand down the slight slope of his slender hips to again grasp the root of his manhood, as her other hand found its way to the rim of his left ear. He shuddered at the touch and drew in a sharp, sudden breath as she tweaked the tip of his ear and resumed her rhythm along his hard, thick length. Then she kissed his chin and worked her way up to his mouth.
As her lips brushed against his, he urged her knees apart, sliding his hand up her inner thigh, stopping to cup her sex in his hand, passing the pads of his fingers over her slick folds. "Mine."
She sighed breathily, pressing her hips into the palm of his hand, maintaining her manual stimulation of his manhood. "Mine . . ."
A satisfied smirk curled his lips, as he slipped his longest finger between her folds, carefully caressing her inner walls, his thumb running slow circles over her already excited nub.
She shuddered at the sensation, her breath catching in her throat. "Gods . . . Sesshomaru."
He growled again at the interruption to her rhythm, giving her a warning nip on the side of her neck. "Do not stop."
"Sorry . . ." She let loose a loud moan as a particularly pleasant jolt shot down her spine to the tips of her toes. "By the gods . . ."
He thrust himself into her hand as he nuzzled his nose against her neck, sending his tongue out to tickle that one spot right behind her ear. "Match my pace," he urged her.
She nodded vigorously, sliding her hand to the base of his shaft as he thrust his long, lean finger deeper into her moist interior. "Mmmmm . . ."
He groaned low in his throat, finding great satisfaction in the feel of her fingers as they grasped and relaxed along the rigid length of his aching member. He thrust deeper, finally finding her feminine barrier as she made another pass of her hand, brushing her thumb over his throbbing tip.
It would be better to take it, now, he told himself. Simply slice through the thin membrane with his claw instead of breaking through it with blunt force. Less pain for her, a quicker healing time, and she can soak herself in the springs afterward. "Rin."
She turned her head to face him. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes heavily lidded, a fine sheen of sweat building upon her brow.
He couldn't resist the urge to lightly nip at her neck, causing her inner muscles to clench around the intruding digit.
"What is it?" she whispered.
For the moment, both of their hands were stilled.
"Will you accept me as your mate?"
"Now?" she asked.
He nodded. "I will not mark you, nor will I completely claim you, but I think it's best if I take your virginity, now."
She became acutely aware of the feel of his finger lodged in her passageway. "What will you do?"
"There is a thin barrier that prevents me from fully entering you. I wish to cut it with my claw and be done with it."
"Won't that hurt?"
He took notice of the alarm in her voice and sought to soothe her fear by nuzzling his nose in the crook of her neck. "It would be less painful than taking it in the traditional way. A smooth, quick cut, no torn edges, minimal bleeding. Plus, you may soak in the hot spring, afterward. The added minerals will help heal you, and you should feel like your old self in no time."
"But, if you're going through all the trouble of doing that, why not just mark me and mate me, now?"
"The marking process requires a great deal of energy. It is not simply a bite mark; it is the fusion of two minds and two bodies. When I mark you, my power will flare and send some of my energy into your body through my fangs. My energy will pass completely through your body, then I will lap up your blood, sealing the wound. Your blood, laced with my power, will pass through my body, thus completing the connection. I'll be able to feel what you feel and vice versa." He brushed his thumb over her nub.
"Wow . . ."
"So you see, it's quite a draining, and potentially time consuming, activity, and it will leave me weakened for approximately two hours afterward. If anyone should happen to find me during those two hours, I would be unable to defend myself."
"I don't want that," Rin said.
"Nor do I. And what's worse, the flare of power before the mark is given is quite noticeable to any youkai in the area. So if they feel the shift in power, they'll be automatically drawn to it."
"And they'll find you weakened, and they'll kill you."
He nodded.
She brushed her thumb over his tip. "And that's the last thing I want."
"Good."
She continued to caress his tip as he rubbed the sensitive nub between her thighs.
"So, no marking today, but . . . but why can't we mate? All the way?"
He repressed a low growl, concentrating on the answer to her question, as opposed to the pleasure of her hand. "It would cause you discomfort . . . You would be unable to travel . . . for at least three days."
A slight blush worked its way into her cheeks.
"You are quite small, my Rin. And I am not."
"I can feel that," she laughed.
He placed a wet kiss at the base of her neck. "But you needn't worry, my Rin. When the time comes, I will be quite gentle. Your pleasure will always come before my own."
She slapped his shoulder. "You're making me blush."
"Blushing is nice, but hearing you call my name in ecstasy is much better."
Her blush deepened, but her resolve remained strong. "We'll see who calls for whom."
"Then you'll accept me?"
She sent her free hand out to stroke the side of his face. "Of course."
He captured her mouth in a warm, wet embrace, teasing her lips apart with the tip of his tongue.
"So nice . . ."
As he thrust his tongue into her mouth, he began plying her with his middle finger, slowly plunging between her folds, working his way back to her barrier.
She matched his pace, stroking him gently and slowly, rotating her wrist, tightening her grasp as she neared the tip.
"Rin . . ."
She tossed her head back, thrusting her hips forward, urging him to go deeper and break through the barrier.
With one flick of his claw, her hymen was gone and his finger was free to proceed.
Rin felt a slight sting, which was quickly drowned out by a warm rush of fluid. "Is that blood?" she asked.
"A little," he replied. "Did it hurt?"
"Not really," she shook her head. "I've had scraped knees that hurt worse."
He nuzzled his nose in the crook of her neck. "Good."
She rubbed her cheek against his, wrapping her arm around his neck. "You feel good."
"As do you."
She ran her hand down his length, again initiating their love play.
He matched her pace, thrusting slowly and deeply into her warm, wet depths, teasing her nub with his thumb as he trailed his lips, teeth and tongue down her neck, across her collarbone and over her left shoulder. Rin kept a firm grip on the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling his head closer, silently willing his mouth to go lower and lower. The low rumble in his chest vibrated its way through her body, making her tremble and tingle all over.
"Faster," she sighed. "Please . . . faster."
He sucked her earlobe into his mouth, grazing his fang over the heated piece of flesh. "Say it with actions, not with words."
"Unhhhh . . ." She worked her hand faster up and down his shaft, earning a low growl of approval for her efforts.
Stroke for stroke, thrust for thrust they matched each other. Faster and faster. Harder and harder. He rolled her nub between his thumb and forefinger. She cupped her hand and caressed his testicles.
"Rin . . ."
"Is that . . . right?"
He growled low in his throat, having sacrificed his sanity to the feel of her soft, slick palm against the growing tightness of his testes.
Rin worked her hips till she felt the first wave wash over her. Warm and irresistible. Refreshing and draining. Her muscles relaxing, her womb contracting.
For Sesshomaru his release came hard and fast in a hot, white rush of sensation. The instant he felt her walls clamp down on his finger, he felt both incredibly heavy and amazingly light. His manhood became unbearably tight, throbbing painfully above the palm of her hand, then there were a few short, sharp spasms, followed by the bliss of nothingness. "Gods! Rin..."
She chuckled lightly as she dipped her right hand into the water, rinsing her hand of his seed. He wrapped his arm around her and buried his nose in the crook of her neck. She returned his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder.
The low rumbling returned to his chest, spreading throughout both their bodies as they slowly recovered from their romp in the water.
"This is the way my best dreams end."
"Oh?" he brushed his lips against the side of her neck.
Rin nodded. "They always end with a nice, big hug."
He kissed her neck again.
She moved one hand to comb her fingers through the back of his hair. "We should get cleaned up."
"Yes."
"It's getting late."
"Yes."
"And I am really hungry."
"Yes."
"You know, in my dreams . . . we always do it more than once."
He ran his hand down her back, lightly grazing his claws over her soft, smooth flesh. Rin shuddered.
"Is that so?" he asked.
"Yes . . ."
He kissed his way down her neck and chest. "I wish to taste this you time."
She lowered herself back against the rocky edge of the spring. "Me too."