InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In Death, Trust Me, as You Didn't in Life ❯ A Light Lost ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 1: A Light Lost

So... this is what he meant, then. I knew it, and yet... I... no, I don't regret this. I can't. To rid the world of Naraku, and make sure that everyone I love is safe, it is worth this - and more.

What would be, would be.

The battle had begun that morning, and it was already passing noon. Every one of those standing on the field were exhausted, and it was nowhere near finished.

When they'd arrived, they'd found Naraku, surrounded by thirteen rings of barriers, then demon hordes, then barrier, then demon hordes... and even though they were really rather small fry demons, there were thousands, and once they were finished off, Inuyasha would have to break a new barrier, followed by more hordes.

They were in a lull right now, as Inuyasha had yet to fell the second to last barrier, trying to give them all a rest... and a chance for Kagome to move through the field retrieving as many arrows as she could - which really wasn't many. It was a good thing she'd brought three quivers full - even with all that, she was having to be extremely careful in how she used them, and just barely had enough to get herself through this last horde of demons.

After all, she wouldn't need them when they broke the last barrier - the only weapon she'd need then would be she, herself.

Kagome made it to Inuyasha's side, and with a sigh, caught his gaze. "I know what needs to be done, Inuyasha. You and the others - get me to Naraku himself, then leave the rest to me. Once the last barrier falls, grab Kikyou and get as far back as you can, okay?"

"What?! No way! I ain't leaving you on the field while I run away, wench... how could you even suggest such a thing?" The half-demon was enraged by her words, but before he could continue his rant, Kagome touched his arm, and said, "Your duty is to Kikyou, Inuyasha, not me. My fate is my own, now, and I don't fear to meet it. If you don't do as I say, you'll lose Kikyou - are you really willing to do that?"

At his frozen look, she nodded.

"I didn't think so. While we're resting here, I'll go give the others the same instructions." She smiled at him, sadly, and reached up to tweak an ear, noting his suspicious and fearful gaze. "It will all turn out right, Inu, it's almost over."

With that, she turned and walked towards the monk and slayer, leaving Inuyasha with the horrible feeling that she'd just said goodbye to him.

Kikyou or not, Kagome, I won't leave you alone to die. That's not your fate!

For just a moment, he heard Jaken' voice, then, repeating his brother's words. 'Tell her I will be waiting for her.'

"Keh! Well, you'll just have to keep waiting, bastard! I won't let her die here. I won't."

He glared across the field at the girl, then turned towards Naraku's final shields.

"I refuse to let her die here."

A whisper in the wind came then, and Inuyasha's heart skipped a beat in agony...

'It is not your choice, little brother.'

---wWw---

Sango glanced across the field towards their red-clad leader, and with a frown, watched the talk between Inuyasha and Kagome, noting the shocked and upset look he shot her as she turned and began walking towards her and Miroku. She flicked a quick look into the shadow of the trees behind them, and a disdainful look crossed her face at sight of the undead priestess.

She shook her head, then looked back at Kagome. "Somethings up with Kagome, Miroku, and I don't trust that walking dead woman back there, either."

Miroku put a comforting hand on her shoulder, also captivated by the haunted look Inuyasha had shot Kagome. "I think you are right, Sango. But I do not think it has anything to do with Kikyou. Whatever has changed with Kagome, it began with Sesshoumaru-sama's death, and you and I both know it. That's when she began to pull away."

"....yeah, you're right. I just wish I knew why."

Kagome smiled at them both as she finally reached them. "Boy, it sure is a pain trying to wade through all the blood and guts to get anywhere." As her friends reluctantly smiled, she continued, a serious look settling on her face. "I told Inuyasha that I know how to take Naraku down. I'm counting on you guys," she nodded in Naraku's direction at their interested looks, "to take down the last hordes, and Inuyasha the barriers. Once the last one falls, get off the field, got that?"

"What? But what about you, Kagome?" Sango's face was horrified as she realized what her best friend was saying.

"I'll be fine, Sango, but I don't want you guys caught in the backlash - it will wash across the battlefield from immediately behind me, and if anyone's caught in its path..." she fell silent for a moment, not really needing to finish that statement.

"And what about the jewel, Kagome? Will you be able to purify it?" Miroku was no fool, he had a very good idea of what Kagome wasn't saying.

She smiled ruefully at him, not surprised he'd guessed where this was going, and grateful that he seemed willing to keep it to himself. "Yeah. I'll purify it - then make sure Inuyasha gets it."

Miroku looked steadily at her, holding her gaze for a long moment. "Are you sure that's what you want to do, Kagome?"

"Yes. It's the way it should be. Don't worry about it, my friend." She turned her gaze on the both of them. "Just get me to Naraku - and I'll take care of the rest."

When they both nodded agreeably, she gave an internal sigh of relief, and pulled them towards Inuyasha's position, knowing he was about to break the next barrier.

It was time to continue - time to see it through.

---wWw---

Everyone braced as the barrier came down, and the final demon horde held by Naraku moved to attack. Kagome watched for openings, slightly behind the others, and when seeing a good shot, flamed an arrow and sent it into the furious mass of demons.

The shockwave of the windscar rang out repeatedly, and shouts from Sango and Miroku showed where they were fighting their own battles. Even Kikyou was helping, while still hiding in the trees behind the battlefield, arrows with holy energy would come thundering across the field, and Kagome was thankful for that extra help - even though she knew Sango wasn't too happy with the priestess' presence, she knew it was really more for her sake than anything. Sango knew the pain that her revival had caused, and resented Kikyou for it.

Even though it wasn't her fault, really. At that time, Kikyou begged Inuyasha not to say her name. But I can't be angry at him - even back then, I wasn't. He loved her - and he still does.

Pulling her mind back to the battle, she nocked another arrow and fired, decimating the last few demons, and then yelled up to Inuyasha, "Hold on!" She hurried her way to his side, nodding at Kikyou, who had finally joined them on the field. "When you see the purified shikon flying towards you, Inuyasha, grab it - and make your wish immediately. Don't wait, okay? You have to do it right away."

He stared at her, eyes narrowed suspiciously. Something wasn't right. Why was she so insistent on him wishing right away? He grabbed her arm, and pulled her away from Kikyou, not wanting her to overhear.

"Oi, wench," he rasped out, trying to catch his breath. "What the hell are you up to?"

She shook her head at him. "There's no time for lengthy discussions, Inuyasha. You plan to use the jewel to bring Kikyou back, right?"

How did she know?

"Uhhh..." he looked away, afraid to see anger in her gaze, and so he missed the sad, but determined look in her eyes. "Yeah, but so what? Why do I have to do it right away, K'gome? What are you trying to hide from me?" He sighed, and looked back at her questioningly. "I'm not gonna let her being brought back to life kill you, wench, did you really think I would do that? I'm not takin' your soul from you."

With a small smile, she brought her hand up and patted his cheek. "I know, Inu. You'd not do something so dishonorable, and I know that. Don't worry about it." Pulling her hand away, she grinned at him encouragingly. "Cheer up! Just a little longer, and then you'll have your greatest wish - you'll have Kikyou back. No more sadness, Inu, k? Promise me?"

"Only as long as you don't do somethin' stupid, K'gome. Promise me?"

At that, she laughed. "I promise, Inuyasha. Nothing stupid." With one last smile, she turned and moved back to her spot. "Get that barrier down, and then all of you run for cover, got it?" she yelled, loud enough for everyone to hear, pleased when her friends all nodded.

Well, I won't be breaking that promise. What I'm about to do isn't stupid... it's the only way to finish Naraku - and sacrificing yourself to save the those you love isn't stupid.

After all, the needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the one.

---wWw---

Kagome stared straight at Naraku as the final barrier dropped, flaring her aura so that he would be concentrated on her while the others escaped. When she saw that she had his attention, and that her loved ones were out of range, she smiled, and said, "Are you ready to join me in hell, Naraku? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I'm afraid it won't be Kikyou you'll be keeping company with."

Naraku sneered at her, trying not to show his uncertainty in the face of the rest of his foes running from the field. "Well, well, well. Did you notice your so-called friends abandoning you? They've all run off, little girl, and left you alone. And you never thought they'd betray you like that... I guess you were wrong, weren't you?"

She laughed at that. "Still a fool, Naraku. They did what I told them to do. This fight is no longer theirs... it's mine." Drawing herself to her full height, she started forward. "Come on, you coward. It's time to leave this world."

With a sneer, he sent a wave of tentacles at her, but hissed when they got close, as they encountered a barrier and purified instantly. Eyes narrowing, he suddenly realized that he needed to stop her before she reached him - and he sent another wave of tentacles, followed by a cloud of miasma, hoping it would poison her before she could get any further.

Kagome kept a tight hold on her powers, pouring only what was absolutely necessary into the barrier around herself. She was already tired from the long battle, and had to conserve all the energy she could for when she actually reached the vile being before her.

Focusing every last bit of strength she still had, she pushed forward against all his attacks, letting her barrier drop as she reached him, and stumbled forward, not letting the pain of the dozen tentacles that he sent to pierce her stop her forward motion.

Finally reaching Naraku himself, she let herself fall against him, and ignoring his panicked scream, she let every last drop of power she had flare up, lighting the sky for miles around, and with one last, desperate push, she forced her hand into his chest, and grabbed the jewel, allowing her touch to purify it. The moment that was done, just as the last bits of Naraku faded away into dust, she used one last flare of power to fling the jewel towards Inuyasha's aura - and then let herself fall, no longer needing any strength.

Her job was done, and peace filled her as she felt the shikon pass from existence - he'd done as she asked, and now the jewel was no more. She could let go, now.

Eyes open, she stared at the sky, unable to even close them, she was so weak. Heh... so this is what it looks like to die. Funny... I bet I'm seeing the same view that Sesshoumaru did in his last moments. She could feel everything, but respond to nothing - the blood flowing from her wounds, the cold of the breeze as it flowed over the deep red liquid that stained her and the ground under her - and she could even hear the horrified cries of a demon slayer and a monk as they flew with desperation across the field.

She managed to summon up a smile when they reached her, although the effect was marred by the line of blood coming from the corner of her mouth, and she sighed, a weak, bubbly sound coming from her ruined lungs as they struggled to draw air.

"Don't... don't cry, Sango, Miroku." She held back the growing darkness desperately. "Please, listen." Her voice was merely a whisper of sound, and Miroku nodded sharply, eyes filled with tears, and grabbed Sango, hushing her.

"Tell Shippo, and Rin, that I love them... and bury me beside Sesshoumaru beneath the Goshinboku."

Sango interrupted her. "No! Miroku, go get Inuyasha! Make him bring Tensaiga - we can save you, Kagome, please, don't go!"

"Sango... no. I don't want him to use Tensaiga. I'm ready to go..." she lost her voice for a moment, then inhaled again, and finished, "it's my time, Sango. I've lost too many parts of my soul to be able to really live anymore. If you love me... let me go."

Sango broke out into sobs, and Miroku held her, his own tears drowning his eyes... but he nodded. "As you wish, Kagome. You will be missed."

As he acquiesed to her wishes, she relaxed, looking one last time at her loved ones. She looked up at the sky again - and a smile of wonder settled on her bloodstained features.

"Sesshoumaru-sama... you came," they heard her whisper.

As Sango collapsed to the ground, Kagome's eyes closed, and a look of peace washed the pain from her face as her body slumped, her soul finally releasing its hold on life.

---wWw---

Inuyasha felt the jewel come flying at him, leaping up, he grabbed it, and landing next to Kikyou, he took her hand.

Closing his eyes, he made his wish.

'I wish Kikyou would be given life back, with a new soul, and that the piece of Kagome's soul she carries now, goes back to Kagome to make her whole.'

He stared in wonder as the shikon pulsed, and then flared with a pure pink light... before crumbling to dust in his hands and blowing away in the breeze. He looked up, joy lighting his expression as he felt Kikyou's hand grow warm in his, and he pulled her into his arms as the piece of Kagome's soul that she'd held for so long flew away.

"She did it, Kikyou! It's over... and your back!" He laughed giddily, and pulled back, watching with delight the joyous smile that crossed her precious face. Turning, he tugged her hand. "Come on! Let's go find the others. We have to go thank Kagome!"

Before they'd taken two steps, however, a piercing, anguished cry reverberated across the landscape, and Inuyasha's blood froze in his veins, happiness draining from him in a rush, and he yanked Kikyou onto his back, then darted towards the battlefield.

As he neared his friends, he slowed, suddenly knowing what he was going to find, and sliding Kikyou off his back, he rushed forward, pushing past Sango and Miroku.

The moment he laid eyes on her would live in his mind forever, remembered into eternity as the day his heart died. With an anguished whimper, he ignored the other two and sank to his knees, staring at her broken and desecrated body.

There was almost nothing left below her neck. She looked like she'd been shredded, there were so many holes in her - if they moved her body without being extremely careful, she'd literally fall apart.

He started to growl, staring at the remains of his best friend, the one he finally realized was more important to him than anyone, rage overwhelming him. "She said she wouldn't do anything stupid!" Raising his head, he howled, "You lied to me, Kagome! Why?!"

Miroku inhaled sharply, and reaching down, picked up his shakujou, and smacked the half demon on the back of the head. "You should know her better than that, Inuyasha! She didn't lie to you... but to Kagome, giving her life for those she loved would never have been stupid! How could you disrespect her like that?"

Inuyasha stared at Miroku for a moment, a blank look in his eyes, and then he reached into his obi, pulling Tensaiga. He yanked away from the monk when he put his hand over the half demon's, glaring at him, but Miroku shook his head gently, still holding onto a drained and blessedly unconscious Sango.

"No, Inuyasha. She didn't want you to use Tensaiga. That's also why she had you use the jewel immediately - so you couldn't use it to bring her back. She asked us to let her go." He emphasized the last words, wanting Inuyasha to fully understand what he was saying.

"Fuck you, monk! I'm not leaving her like that! How can you even ask me to do this!?"

"I'm not asking you, Inuyasha - Kagome is."

At that, Inuyasha stiffened, and he screamed. "I don't care! I'm not letting her die like this! Move out of my way." He stood, then and held out his father's sword, waiting for it to pulse... but it remained quiescent, and with a roar of pure rage, he flung the sword away from himself. "Why won't it work?!"

Miroku closed his eyes, then, exhaustion, grief, and his injuries finally beginning to catch up with him, and he let the tears run over his cheeks again, too tired to fight with anyone any longer.

"Tensaiga won't act because Kagome does not want to be brought back, Inuyasha. Look at her face, baka. Do you see the look of peace there? She is no longer in pain." Turning his face up to the sky, he opened his eyes and stared at the horizon.

"Do you know what her last words were? 'Sesshoumaru-sama... you came'. Remember what Jaken told her... that Sesshoumaru would be waiting for her? Well - I think he kept his promise, Inuyasha. She isn't alone. Let her go."

Inuyasha's gaze locked on her face, and despite the blood covering her beloved features, he found that Miroku was right. He hadn't seen a look that peaceful on her face since the beginning of their quest - before Shippo, before Miroku, and Sango... before Kikyou was resurrected. When it was just the two of them...

"How?" he whispered, pain pouring from his aura. "How can I let her go?"

Miroku glanced behind him, and a frown crossed his face. "By going to your priestess and being happy, Inuyasha. Remember what Kagome did for all of us - and cherish the gift she gave you - the gift of Kikyou's life."

Slowly, painfully, Miroku stood, lifting an unconscious Sango into his arms and settling her onto Kirara's back. Turning, he slid off the deep purple top of his monk's robes, and settled it onto the ground next to Kagome's body.

"Help me, Inuyasha. I'd like to keep her body in one piece - but the only way to do it is to wrap it."

Pushing the monk back, Inuyasha reached out and tenderly lifted her into his arms, and settled her ravaged remains onto the cloth, then wrapped it tightly around her and tied it off.

Eyes hollow, he glanced up at Kikyou. "I'm sorry, Kikyou, but you'll have to make your way back to the village on foot... I have to take Kagome home," he whispered.

Kikyou nodded, not saying anything.

Miroku spoke up once more as he climbed onto Kirara, sitting behind Sango and holding her in place. "You can't, Inuyasha. The well is sealed. She wanted to be buried next to Sesshoumaru, beneath the Goshinboku. It was her last request."

Tears finally releasing and washing down his cheeks, Inuyasha picked Kagome up, and settling her head against his shoulder tenderly, carried her back to the village...

For the very last time.

---wWw---

A/N: This is probably the last time I'll post on this story twice in one day... it's a very difficult story from here on out, because from now on, every part of it has to come from my imagination alone. And besides that, I do have other stories I'm working on. But I wanted to get the necessary deaths over with and done, so that I could move on to the romance... which is the best part of the story, ne? So, all that to say, I am going to aim for posting about once a week. Anyway, hope everyone enjoys this chapter, even if it's sad... just remember that it won't stay that way for long.

And a rousing shout to those who've already reviewed - you are all greatly appreciated!

Ja Ne!

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