InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In Death, Trust Me, as You Didn't in Life ❯ Reciprocity ( Chapter 11 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 11: Reciprocity

"Inuyasha, how long will the trip to Bokuseno take?" Miroku was curious - he was very interested in meeting this demon tree.

The half demon youth squinted up into the sky, then said thoughtfully, "We should get there tomorrow afternoon, why?"

"I was merely curious, Inuyasha, nothing more. But," he also looked at the sky, judging the hour by the light, "when are you planning to stop for the night?"

"We'll keep going 'til an hour before sunset. That'll give us time to make camp before dark."

Sango nodded, glad that they would be stopping soon. She was tired of sitting, and ready to get off Kirara and move around - plus she knew Kirara would be glad to rest, herself.

She was still very apprehensive about what they were doing, and it showed. She loved the woman she thought of as her sister, and would love nothing more than to see her again, but... Kagome had asked her to let her rest. To let her be happy - with Sesshoumaru as a companion, and eternity before her.

This whole thing was making her more and more nervous the closer they came to their destination - she had a very bad feeling about it. She was positive that if Inuyasha succeeded in bringing Kagome back - she'd be devastated and angered beyond bearing.

Miroku agreed with her, as did Shippo. They were all concerned that once she was back, Inuyasha would head straight back to Kikyou, once again leaving Kagome out in the cold.

Miroku glanced at Inuyasha, still running easily by their sides, and frowned.

Just exactly what is he after, here? Does he even know what he wants?

Somehow, I doubt it.

They continued on, worry growing in the hearts of three of the travelers - and determination in the heart of the fourth.

He would bring her back... no matter what.

---wWw---

Inuyasha glanced down at his companions as they lay around the campfire that night after dinner, watching as they stared into the flames, and one by one, began to doze off. It was all so comfortable and familiar - but there was a hole there... and one no one else would ever be able to fill.

No one. Not even Kikyou.

Because there was no one like Kagome. He was fully aware that they all thought that he should just be happy that Kikyou was alive again, and settle down and make a life with her. And maybe, that was indeed what fate had in store for him... but what they didn't understand was that without Kagome, he had no fate at all.

If he couldn't find a way to bring her back - then he'd follow her into the afterlife. It was as simple as that.

He had feelings for Kikyou, and he knew it. He thought he loved her - but he knew that he loved Kagome. He knew it, with every beat of his heart. And that was why he couldn't give up - he could not let loose his hold upon her.

She carried his soul. She was everything to him and then some.

Tilting his head back and leaning it against the trunk of his current perch, he stared through the canopy to the clear patches of night sky, remembering all the times he'd watched the stars with Kagome. She had taught him that if he was always looking down at the ground, he'd only ever see the bad things in life - but if he looked up, he'd see the beauty it held, instead.

With a small smile, he thought of her habit of always wishing on falling stars. Sometimes he wondered exactly what it was she was wishing so hard for...

Sighing, he let some of the tension of the day wash out of him, drawing a core of peace around himself, and allowed his eyes to drift shut. He'd flared his aura throughout the area, and there was nothing threatening anywhere close... it would be okay for him to sleep - for a few hours, at least.

He hadn't, after all, slept more than a few hours since Kagome had left him.

That was another thing he didn't do well when she was gone.

Sleep.

---wWw---

Inuyasha stared around himself, unsure of what this dream was. He was near the well, and he could feel something pulling him towards the God Tree - it was a near desperate need - a pull on his soul... so he gave in and followed it, wondering what was callling him.

He would never forget the sight that met his eyes when he stepped into the clearing before the tree - instead of two graves resting between its wide spread and gnarled roots, there was only one.

The second person that had been buried there, was instead now pinned to the tree - just as he had been for fifty years. Horrified, he leapt towards the young woman, trying to pull the arrow that held her there... but was unable to.

As soon as he touched it, though, her eyes opened... and she smiled at him.

That's when he realized - this wasn't just a dream. Like Sango before him, Kagome was reaching out to him in his dreams, and absolutely desperate from days of being separated from her, he clutched at her, not even letting her speak as he began yelling at her.

"Stupid wench! What were you thinking going up against Naraku like that?! You swore you wouldn't do anything stupid... but you lied to me! And you died, and I... I had to bury you!" he howled, pain and anger swirling inside him. "What are you doing up here like this anyway, huh? This isn't funny, Kagome. Get down off this tree right now!"

Kagome rather awkardly patted his back and sighed. This wasn't quite going as planned. Her half demon friend was almost hysterical.

"Inuyasha, calm down. I came because I need to talk to you - and as for why I'm up here, it's symbolic. You're keeping me pinned here, you know." She looked at him sadly as he leaned back and stared at her in shock.

"I'm gone, Inuyasha, and you need to realize that and let me move on. As long as you're still hanging on to me, though, I will never find my freedom... from this arrow through my heart. That's what I came back to tell you - let me go. Don't try to bring me back - I'm happy where I am."

Inuyasha stared at her, aghast. "What?! Happy dead? And what's this I hear about you hanging out with my icicle of a brother, huh? That bastard's so cold, death would actually warm him up. You need to stay away from him, Kagome - he's deadly, and you of all people should know that!"

Kagome shot him a look of disbelief. "Inuyasha, I'm already dead! What's he going to do to me now?"

"I don't know! Fuck, K'gome, it's Sesshoumaru! If there's a way for him to kill something that's already dead, he'd be the bastard to find it." He glared at her. "How can you even stand to hang around him... is the afterlife so boring that even that idiot would be considered exciting?!"

"Inuyasha, don't make me say 'it'! Just because he's not a hyper puppy always bouncing around like he's on speed like you, doesn't mean he's boring! I haven't been bored once since I died, so there." She rolled her eyes and shook her head at him as he made to speak again. "Quiet, dog boy, and listen to me."

Folding her arms across her chest, she settled a glare on him. "You have a life to go live - a life with Kikyou. I, on the other hand, have finally found peace... in the afterlife - with Sesshoumaru. I want you to leave me alone, and stop looking for ways to make me come back. Go back to Kikyou and be happy that you got what you wanted for so long. And let me be happy."

His ears snapped tight to his head as he listened to her talk, and when she finished, he growled, long and low at her.

"Fine... you talked, now shut up - it's my turn. First off, you promised me that you would stay with me as long as I wanted you to, and I didn't release you from that. I never will, either, so don't even think about asking. Second, I can't even fucking sleep now, Kagome. This is really the first time I've slept since you let yourself get killed - after promising me you wouldn't do anything stupid!"

He turned his gaze away from her and glared off into the forest, obviously pissed. "Kinda breakin' a lot of promises lately, Ka-go-me," he said sarcastically.

At that, the girl still symbolically pinned to the tree forgot that she was technically human, and gave out an impressive sounding growl, startling the half inu still trying to stare her down.

"Now you listen here, jerk! I promised I wouldn't do anything stupid - and I don't think saving all of your lives was stupid!" she yelled, so pissed by now that she'd forgotten about his sensitive ears. "So, obviously, you're wrong about that one, and as for the other - what more do you want from me? Huh? Don't I deserve to be happy? Why do I have to sit around alone and watch you and Kikyou get everything you've ever wanted, and Sango and Miroku, too - am I not good enough or something?!"

He sputtered at that, taking a step back at the pure fury in her eyes. "No! That's not it, Kagome, but why the fuck do you gotta be dead to be happy?! That's just fucking twisted, wench!" He suddenly hopped down from the root that he was standing on to reach her, and turned his back on her, preparing to walk away.

"I don't care, K'gome. You know what? I almost don't even think this is really you talking - my Kagome would never just want to die... she had too much life in her for shit like that. So you can sit there and mope all you want - I'm still going to find a way to bring you back. End of the fucking story."

And he walked away, leaving a fuming young woman behind to fade away from the tree, and reappear on the ground.

Kagome pulled her hair in frustration, and then let out a piercing scream, trying to release some of that tension before waking up.

If he forces me back, I'm going to kick his ass straight to hell, and then I'll be alive - and he'll be dead! What's he gonna do then, try to find ways to kill me?

Sesshoumaru stepped out from the trees, expression placid, but his eyes held laughter as he watched her get herself off the tree.

"How amusing you two are. Even with one of you dead, you cannot refrain from fighting."

She cast him a dirty look at that comment. "Like you're any better! You'd enjoy nothing more than to get into another stupid fight with the jerk, and you know it."

He cocked a brow at her. "Perhaps. But the difference between you and I is that I would win my fight."

She narrowed her eyes at him, flames dancing in her gaze, and he shivered slightly as she faded from sight. She was rather impressive with her death glare, he had to admit.

Good thing I am already in my grave - if I were not, that look would soon have me there.

---wWw---

Kagome shot another glare at the demon Lord as she sat up, then stood, and he shook his head at her, still amused.

"Tell me, miko, is there something you would like to say to me?"

"Now why would I want to bother with that? I'm not that much into wasted efforts," she snapped back at him, not really angry, just slightly... annoyed.

"It is well that you have understood that you cannot win against me, Kagome. I would not like to see you stress yourself over such a thing."

She threw up her hands and stomped a foot at him. "Argh! Arrogant males! You and your brother are so much alike, despite the fact that you both deny it."

At that, he sent her a disgruntled look. "Half-brother, miko, it would be best for you to remember that."

"Or what? Planning to figure out how to kill something that's already dead, as Inuyasha said?" She chuckled at his annoyed look, feeling better now that she'd gotten one up on him. She shook her head, then smiled wryly. "Come on, Sesshoumaru. What's up next?"

"Hn." He stared into the night sky for a moment, weighing options. "I'm afraid my father was right - we do not have much time. Inuyasha will not allow it."

She lost the smile quickly at that reminder, and she scowled, staring down at the ground for a minute, then her expression smoothed into a thoughtful frown. "Sesshoumaru?" she asked, flicking a glance at the stoic demon. "Is there a way that we can make sure... that if he does call me back, well... that guarantees that you'll be able to follow me?"

"The oath I swore to you will do so, Kagome, I have already told you that. There is no need to fear that I will leave you alone. No matter the fool still trying to lay claim to you - it is perhaps telling that while you promised him, he did not swear anything to you in reverse. I find nothing but dishonor in him for this."

Kagome's brow furrowed at that. "What do you mean?"

"Simply put, he is trying to force you to return to him, but as what? A friend? A concubine? Family? He would tie you to him, and yet not tie himself to you. It carries no honor to do such - he would force you to be alone except for what he was willing to give you, no matter how little that would turn out to be."

"But," her expression suddenly changed to horror, "why would he do that? And how can I avoid it?"

He looked at her, then, holding her gaze steadily. "I have sworn an oath to you, Kagome, you know this. I have given you what I have to give - all that I have. I do not regret that. I will stay by your side - as you promised Inuyasha you would stay with him." He moved towards her, still holding her gaze. "If you decide," he hesitated for a moment, then reached a hand out and ran the back of his hand down her cheek, "to give me an oath in return, then it would supercede the promise to him in importance. A reciprocated oath holds more power."

She stared at him, eyes wide for a moment as he reached for her, then sliding shut as she felt his touch, she savored the feel of his skin against hers as a sudden clarity shafted through her mind, and straight through to her soul.

Am I ready to promise him... forever? Or have I already done so - I'm staring down eternity right now, and I'm doing it with him beside me. If I swore such a thing... what would really change?

Not a damn thing.
And even if I don't promise such, he's tied himself to me, anyway. So all that would happen if I swore the same is a tighter bond.

Reciprocity.

Kagome opened her eyes and stared into his again. "All I have to do is say the words?" she asked softly.

He nodded solemnly. "Yes. Nothing more." Letting his hand fall, he stepped back. "However, I do not want you to do this for the wrong reasons, Kagome. Not because you feel you should, since I did, not because it will be stronger than Inuyasha's bond with you - only do this if you want to do so. Not for any other reason."

Feeling like she was standing on the edge of a precipice, she looked at the ground, once more running her thoughts through her mind, making sure that her reasons were sound, and not based on faulty ground.

And then, she looked up at him, and smiled, a smile that held more light than a thousand suns, and loud and clear, said, "I promise to stay with you, Sesshoumaru, 'til you no longer wish me to be there, forever if you so will it."

In the demon Lords eyes, she could see eternity looking back at her.

---wWw---

Sugimi smiled as he heard the echo of her vow to his son. There was great power in her words - because she meant them from the bottom of her soul, and he couldn't be more pleased.

He had always worried more for his eldest than he had for his youngest, despite the hard life Inuyasha had led. Sesshoumaru had been warped by his mother - a more antagonistic, self-centered bitch had never existed, and she'd done a very good job of freezing their son.

Inuyasha, on the other hand, even though he'd lost her fairly young, had had a wonderful mother. He'd also been damaged when Kagome had come into his life, but the damage had not been as extensive - and the young miko had not just healed Inuyasha herself, but given his son other friends to also depend on, so that he wouldn't be alone - even without her.

Sesshoumaru hadn't had those benefits at all. And the only friend he had was the young ningen child, Rin. While she was an adorable little girl, and she had helped breathe life into his heart again, she could only do so much - unlike Kagome.

The bottom line was, despite what Inuyasha thought, it was Sesshoumaru who needed the tiny miko - far more than he himself did. After all, his younger son had a miko of his own, and one that had been returned to him - returned to life.

In spite of his desire to see Kagome with Sesshoumaru, however, he was cheering Inuyasha on to find the path to return the two to the world of the living - for several reasons, not the least of which was children. He really wanted to watch his grandchildren rule his lands.

Sure, Inuyasha would have kids of his own... but the truth of the matter was he really didn't approve of Kikyou, and wasn't thrilled with the idea of her blood mixing with his and ruling the West. She wasn't a bad person, per say, but... she certainly wasn't of Kagome's caliber, personality or power wise.

So, he was being a bit selfish.

Everyone was, at one time or another in their lives. Or, technically speaking in his case, their deaths.

Besides... Inuyasha really wasn't suited to ruling, himself. The lands still needed Sesshoumaru - no matter what other problems the boy had, he was an excellent ruler.

That had to count for something.

---wWw---

Inuyasha woke suddenly from his sleep, anger still roiling through him, and sat upright, determined that he'd slept enough for the night.

He still couldn't believe that Kagome would even have the nerve to ask him to let her stay dead. Death must have messed up her head or something - as if he'd let her go without a fight, even against death itself.

The creepiest part of the whole thing was that she was with Sesshoumaru. And wanted to stay with him. He couldn't imagine a worse fate - not even hell could be that bad... and at least it would be warm there - couldn't say the same hanging around the fluffy bastard, all you'd get from him is severe frostbite.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted, a thrum of power rolling through him, and he jerked upright from where he'd slumped against the trunk again.

It had Kagome written all over it, and he became very apprehensive at that feeling even as it faded away.

What have you done now, wench?