InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In Present Company ❯ Chapter 9

Long after the sun had set, Sesshomaru stopped in a tiny clearing. They had not spoken for the remainder of the day, and so his voice startled her. “We will rest here tonight.”

 

Kagome snapped out of the trance that she had been in, looking around herself. She had gotten used to walking until she literally fell asleep on her feet, and waking up somewhere completely different. She wondered if the attack earlier in the day had drained Sesshomaru, and that was why they were resting. “Okay.”

 

Kagome set up a campfire, but then realized she had no way to light it. Her matches were in her backpack, far to the south in Edo. Sesshomaru saw her looking around, and sighed. With a flick of his wrist he ignited the dry tender with his whip of light, instantly setting the fire to blaze. Kagome stared at it wide eyed, but decided not to say anything as Sesshomaru sat across from her. She took out the rations the village elder had given them before they left, and tried to guess how long they would go before they would reach another village. She divided the dried fish into six portions, hoping that she wouldn't need any more than that. She began to eat, and thought about the day's events as she did so.

 

Suddenly something struck her. “How did you know that thing was a bat, and that it was going to attack me?” she asked, her own words surprising her.

 

Sesshomaru stared at her for a moment, the firelight making his golden eyes look liquid and eerie to Kagome. “I had… a similar experience.”

 

“Oh,” she blushed, realizing the implications. “How did you know that it wasn't me?” Kagome looked away, unable to withstand his intense gaze.

 

“She had no scent.” He paused a moment. “And her lips were cold.”

 

Kagome blushed even deeper, and dropped the subject. They became silent again, the crackling fire the only sound as Kagome quietly finished her meal and packed away the rest. All the while, Sesshomaru stared at her in a way that made her very uncomfortable. He was so difficult to read, and she couldn't even guess what he was thinking.

 

“In the mists,” he began, revealing that he had not yet left the subject, “You had said…that despite what I felt you still wished to remain with me. You were about to explain why when I attacked.”

 

Kagome's eyes went wide. “How long were you standing there, just watching?!” she demanded.

 

He didn't look away. “Long enough.”

 

Kagome blushed deeply. Now that was embarrassing. Nothing like having your perfect fantasy spied on by the subject of said fantasy. She wondered if she could ever live that down.

 

“You have not answered my question,” Sesshomaru reminded her.

 

Kagome looked at him. He seemed genuinely interested, but for what reason was a mystery to her. Perhaps she was just another silly human he didn't get. Inwardly, something inside her felt very tight, as if her heart was slowly being crushed by reality. He had saved her life, she reminded herself, and she supposed he deserved an answer.

 

“Because… because being in your company is very… satisfying to me. You never irritate me, I guess. You're never immature, or thick, and you're very patient with me. I get frustrated a little sometimes, but it's only because I can't figure you out. I guess I thought that if I stayed with you I'd understand you eventually. I would like to.” Kagome was beyond blushing, and was flat-out embarrassed. She probably sounded like a sentimental sap to him. She hoped that now that he had his answer he would drop it.

 

“Yokai do not love,” Sesshomaru said suddenly, and Kagome looked up sharply to see his expression was almost apologetic as he stared into the fire. “We are not capable of it, I think. Not in the way humans do, at least. Our hearts do not “melt” when we see the object of our attentions. We do not become sentimental. However… once in a very long while we may come across a companion whose company we enjoy, and whose life we value as if it were our own. I suppose that we greatly appreciate them more than love.”

 

Well, that explains a lot about InuYasha, Kagome thought sarcastically. She began to argue that that counted as love, but Sesshomaru continued.

 

“We are not incapable of compassion, empathy, and even at times affection. Especially,” he looked up to Kagome, “in the right situation.”

 

Kagome swallowed, the idea that he may be speaking about her vaguely dawning in her mind. Her hopes had been dashed twice, though, and she dare not hope again. “Situation? Such as…?” she asked.

 

“When this person is a blood relative, or a seasoned ally. Or…” he looked away from her momentarily, “when other kinds of liaisons may be formed.”

 

Liaisons, the part of Kagome that was still hopeful thought, is a euphemism for…. She brought herself back to reality. It was a euphemism for something she would never have with him, she thought bleakly. The very thought of it probably made him cringe.

 

Sesshomaru watched the battle taking place within Kagome manifest itself on her expressions. She was quite distracted by it, as she hardly noticed when he rose and walked towards her, until he crouched down beside her, gently taking her chin in hand. She looked at him with such a pained expression, as if she wanted something very badly but could not ever hope to have it.

 

“I think,” Sesshomaru said slowly, studying her features, “that I must become accustomed to the idea that my father was right on several things which I disagreed with him on.”

 

Kagome was trying to figure out what that had to do with what he had been saying just before when he kissed her. It was not rough, as it had been the first time, and it was not devious, as his imitation had seemed, but soft, honest, and giving.

 

It was perfect.

 

The pain around her heart tightened as Sesshomaru slid his hand across her cheek to cup the base of her skull. Slow, heavy tears slid from her closed eyes, and when they touched his hand he pulled away suddenly, a frown on his face.

 

“Have I hurt you in some way?” he asked.

 

She shook her head, wiping the tears away forcefully, ashamed that she had cried. “No. No, it's my own doing.”

 

He furrowed his brow a little.

 

“This isn't happening,” Kagome said quietly. “I've fallen asleep without knowing it, and I'll wake up to find you cold and remote and completely unreachable. Again. And I'll have to face that reality again and again, every morning. I don't know how much more of this I can take.”

 

Sesshomaru's eyes widened slightly. “You have been dreaming of this?”

 

Kagome nodded, the tears spilling onto her cheeks once again. She was making such a fool of herself, but then this wasn't real, so what did it matter? “Every night. Pathetic, isn't it?”

 

“You would not call me pathetic, would you?”

 

“Of course not!” Kagome said automatically. “Wait, you mean… but you don't sleep!”

 

Sesshomaru sat on the ground next to her. “My mind does not require a state of unconsciousness to provide me with the idea. Carrying you sleeping in my arms is more than enough.”

 

Kagome stared at him a moment. She had wondered what it was like, when she was asleep. She had always imagined him slightly annoyed. She had never thought….

 

“I'm not sleeping, am I?” Kagome said absently.

 

“If you are then I am as well,” Sesshomaru said simply.

 

“It's never like this… when I dream.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Kagome blushed a little. “Well, usually by this point you have tried to convince me that you love me dearly and say all kinds of things that you would never say and… well…” Kagome blushed deeper. “other things have happened.

 

A single eyebrow slowly rose up Sesshomaru's forehead. “Such as…?”

 

Kagome flustered, wide-eyed. “I'm not telling you!”

 

Sesshomaru smiled a little, and for once it did not send fear through her heart. “Then I shall just have to guess…” he leaned forward and kissed her again, a little more insistent this time. When she did not respond, he pulled back to see the same pained expression on her face. He leaned his forehead against hers, the only sign of affection he remembered his father showing his mother.

 

“Kagome,” he said quietly, “Give in. Stop fighting it, this is reality. Don't try to outdo me in strength of will; I assure you it would be a fruitless endeavor.”

 

Kagome laughed a little, finally smiling. “Only you could make arrogance sound comforting.”

 

Sesshomaru frowned disdainfully. “I am not arrogant,” he said, mock offended, “I am correct.”

 

Kagome's smile widened, and she rolled her eyes. Sesshomaru kissed her once more, and this time she let go. It was as if a dam had been broken within her, and she wrapped her arms about him tightly as she lost herself to the kiss. Tears spilled down her cheeks, but it was from relief. As she shifted to be more comfortable, though, a problem arose. One of the spikes on the front of Sesshomaru's armor caught on her sleeve. She tore herself away from the kiss, carefully detangling the fabric without ripping it. Once she did that, though, Sesshomaru stood up.

 

Kagome was about to ask him what was wrong when he began to untie his obi. Kagome blushed profusely, and Sesshomaru could not help but smirk at her reaction. He stopped a moment and knelt down next to her, taking her hand and kissing it.

 

“This time it was your clothes. Next time it could be your skin,” he said.

 

“Oh.” Kagome could not help but watch as Sesshomaru carefully removed his armor, setting it to the side. She felt so strange, like this was more a dream-like than her dreams were. When he was done, Sesshomaru picked up his sword and held out a hand to her.

 

“Come here,” he said, a promise of something in his voice.

 

Transfixed, Kagome stood, sliding her hand into his, watching as his long fingers wrapped around her wrist. He pulled her gently to the foot of a tree where he sat with his back against the trunk and set his sword on the ground. He tugged her wrist, and she made to sit down next to him. He took hold of her, though, and she suddenly found herself straddling his lap. She blushed again, looking away as if that would hide it.

 

Sesshomaru smirked again, but then closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. “When you blush,” he brushed a few fingertips across her reddened cheek, “Your scent becomes stronger, headier.”

 

Kagome bit her lip. “What do I smell like?”

 

Sesshomaru breathed in again. “Flowers, and warmth. Other things which I am not familiar with.” He leaned forward and barely brushed his lips against her neck, making her shiver. “And steel.” He whispered the last, as if it were magic.

 

Kagome opened her eyes, surprised. “Steel? Oh, that must be from my world. Most machines are made out of steel or iron. InuYasha's always complaining about how bad it smells. I thought it would have worn off by now. I'm sorry that—”

 

Sesshomaru put a finger to her lips, silencing her. “In all the time I have lived I have never met a woman, human or yokai, who smelled like a sword. It is…enticing.”

 

“Oh.” A sword, Kagome thought, that is interesting, I suppose. She stopped thinking about it, though, as Sesshomaru began to kiss the length of her neck, starting just below her ear and working his way down to her collarbone. She sighed deeply, weaving her fingers into his glossy hair. Like silk, she thought. Like his fur.

 

Sesshomaru slowly raised his hand from her hip, sliding it under the thin cotton of her shirt to splay his fingers across her stomach. She moaned softly, and something twinged inside of him. He would like very much to take his satisfaction from her as quickly as possible, but this was not the place for that. Besides, he thought, she is inexperienced. I shall take my sweet time in… educating her.

 

Kagome's mind was a blur. It was amazing how quickly Sesshomaru could have this effect on her, but she rather enjoyed it. She wondered, though, shouldn't she be doing something?

 

“Uh, Sesshomaru?” she asked quietly.

 

“Hm?” Sesshomaru replied, still busy kissing her neck, now working on the other side.

 

“Is there something… something you would like me… to do?” her voice seemed painfully shy, and she regretted how inexpert the question made her sound.

 

Sesshomaru removed himself from his task, and looked her over, thinking. “This,” he tugged at the hem of her shirt, “take it off.”

 

Kagome's eyes shot open. “w-what?” she asked, blushing once more.

 

Sesshomaru raised his eyebrows, amused at her reaction. “You wear something underneath it, ne? It is in my way. Take it off.”

 

Kagome blinked a few times, accustoming herself to the double-time pace her heart had chosen to accelerate to. With shaking hands, she reached for the hem of her shirt, swallowing.

 

Sesshomaru paused. Had he asked too much of her too soon? He carefully took her hands away, kissing one and then the other at the base of her wrist. He then took hold of her shirt himself, and raised it over her head. She complied, and he set the discarded article next to his sword. Before she could be awkward, he pulled her into a passionate kiss. He felt her slowly beginning to relax, and decided to push the limits once again.

 

Kagome was mentally justifying the removal of her shirt in her mind, although she wasn't sure why. She was more comfortable this way, she argued, and it was more like Sesshomaru removing his armor than undressing. And besides, she still had—what was that?! Kagome's eyes shot open as Sesshomaru licked her lips once again. While she thoroughly enjoyed the sensation, she got the impression that there was something more…. He repeated the action, this time forcing her lips apart. She opened her mouth, more out of surprise than instruction, and gasped as he made his way in, tasting her mouth.

 

Oh, wow, thought Kagome as she tilted her head to lean into the kiss. I could get used to this. She hesitantly ventured forward, and was rewarded by Sesshomaru's quiet moan. It stirred something inside of her, and she felt her legs clench involuntarily. Sesshomaru responded immediately, his hand suddenly on the small of her back, pressing her to him. The intensity of the kiss increased until Kagome thought she would pass out. She tore herself away from the kiss to catch her breath, not moving far enough away to escape Sesshomaru's arms.

 

“Sesshomaru…” she breathed, nuzzling her face into his neck. He began to slowly move his hand up underneath the back of her shirt, the other one twining in her hair. Kagome, however, had an idea. Shyly at first, she began to kiss his neck, and felt the hand in her hair clench in response. Gaining in confidence, she made her way down his neck, and when she reached the collar of his haori she did something very brave. Her hands were resting on his chest, and she slid one of them under the fold, her fingertips finding the smooth plane of his hardened muscles. He moaned in response, and she used her other hand to carefully part the haori, exposing his chest. She immediately took advantage of this, continuing the path of her kisses. At the same time, she began to move her hips against his, remembering the effect it had had before.

 

Sesshomaru could take it no longer. The soft and shy texture of her kisses on his skin, the hesitant but effective movements, all of it. Kagome continued to slide his haori off his shoulders, kissing them as well. At last, he could not hold still for another moment.

 

Kagome gasped as Sesshomaru pulled her mouth to his, kissing her hungrily. It lasted only a moment, though, before he gently pulled her head back by her hair, making her expose her neck. He kissed the hallow at the base of her throat, and then began to lick the length of her neck slowly. Kagome whimpered, shivered, and arched into him almost as if flinching at the same time.

 

Sesshomaru's mind was a blur. He was slipping fast, and the urge to just take her was nearly irresistible. It wasn't until he found himself nibbling at the crook of her shoulder that he realized he had to stop now. He pulled back, taking a deep breath as if he had just surfaced from a long dive.

 

“Not here,” he breathed.

 

Kagome tried to kiss him, not really listening. He stopped her, holding her shoulders at arm's length. “No, Kagome. It's not dignified.”

 

She stopped, too, and looked hurt.

 

“I mean here.”

 

Her face relaxed a little, but then she looked frustrated again, biting her lip to try to hold everything back. He held her to him, daring the close contact.

 

“Soon, I promise. Now sleep,” he said in a half-compassionate half-commanding voice.

 

She nodded, but it was a long time before sleep claimed either of them.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

AN

 

MUAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAA! You thought it was going to be lemon!!! And what's worse, this is all I have so far!!!!!!!! I'll write more eventually, I suppose, especially if I get a lot of comments.

 

So the whole “I think I'm asleep when really I'm not” is kind of a big thing in my stories. Why? Because it happens to me a lot. Unfortunately, for me it's usually “Oh god I hope this is a nightmare…”

 

Doesn't this sound like a scary nightmare? I sit down to take a midterm, and as it's passed out I realize I don't know anything at all on the front page. Suddenly, a girl near me gasps in glee. “This is the same thing as the study guide!!” she says happily. The teacher agrees and other students cheer. Study guide? What study guide? I didn't get any study guide? And as I'm staring at these questions I don't know the answers to I realize that I am going to be the only student to fail this midterm. And this class is in my major. And it's a gateway class for the major.

 

Scary, ne? Too bad it actually happened…. Thanks to some tears and a really nice teacher I got to take it the next day. *sigh*