InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In the Arms of My Sanity ❯ Run pt. 2 ( Chapter 8 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: CherryBlossomMiko 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.29.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.7K | Visits: 710 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.29.2004 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.7K | Visits: 710 | Status: Completed
In the Arms of My Sanity...
- By CherryBlossomMiko
--
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, hrmph.
Summary: Kagome's feudal, lust-based relationship with Sesshoumaru is pushing her emotions every which way, confusing her and driving her insane. There's only one person in the world who can make everything crystal clear; her sanity. But now Kagome's feelings for him are what are causing her controversy; can she figure it out before she looses them both?
Pairings: Sesshoumaru/Kagome (beginning), really an InuYasha/Kagome
Rating: R; for language, adult themes, and adult situations.
Author's Note: Dictionary at the bottom of chapters where needed.
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Chapter Five: Run
--
Demonic studio building shimmered in the predawn glow of that hour after the stars begin to fade, when the light peeks over the horizon and makes the world glow without the harsh glare of its source. The windows gleamed a soft orange and a gentle gold, not allotting a view of the inside, though the rush of people that filled the halls day after day had yet to arrive.
Masaharu InuYasha walked quickly down the street, his hands shoved in his pockets and his shoulders hunched against the cold inside his leather jacket. A breeze whipped down the trees, tossing red, gold, and orange leaves into the air all around him. He ignored the leaves twirling around his legs, his nose twitching in irritation at the cold, deadened smell of fall that rose from the leaves.
He reached the glass front on the studio building, wasting little time as he slipped his ID card from his pocket, shoving it roughly into the slot in his haste. The silver console buzzed, the light turning green as the locks on the door clicked. He pulled the glass door open, hurrying away from the scent of mold that always came that time of year.
guard was slumped back in his seat, eyes closed and snoring lightly.
On duty, I see.
The man jumped, indigo eyes wide as he rose quickly from his chair, saluting InuYasha before standing stiffly behind the security desk, his hair seeming out of place as it bounced around his stiff form, still swaying from the sudden motion.
Masaharu-sama, I-
Save it, He said, the excitement of Kagomes escape overtaking him again as he headed for the elevator.
He pressed one clawed finger against the call button, the silver and black doors instantly sliding open. He stepped inside, closing the doors and pressed the last button on the silver console, the number 38 glowing unnoticeably as a pleasant female voice filled the elevator.
Security check, please place your hand against the screen.
He pressed his palm against the shimmering blue-black screen for only a moment before the voice again filled the tiny space; Floor 38 authorization, have a good day, Masaharu-sama.
He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall as the elevator rose, beeping quietly as it passed each floor. After a minute, the doors opened to InuYashas private floor; his studio apartment.
He stepped from the elevator and a smile instantly lit his face; somewhere he could smell Kagome, a fresh scent underneath all the old ones.
Kag?
He passed through the living room, tapping the blank screen of his answering machine as he glanced briefly over the counter into the kitchen before swinging around the corner into his bedroom.
Kagome?
He followed his nose across the room and back to the metallic bookcase, giving it a light shove and slipping along its circle course into the room beyond.
His eyes narrowed in confusion. Kagomes scent was all over the small, crowded room, old and new, but she wasnt there. He stepped around the piles of notebooks and guitars, setting his feet carefully among the wires. Finally, he reached the buried desk in the back of the room, shoving a stack of papers from the chair before falling down into it.
Among the scattered lyrics and notes, he could smell Kagome. He searched for a moment before pulling out a torn sheet of paper, the frayed edges catching on other sheets.
Inu-chan:
I bet you now by now that Im gone; Sesshoumaru always seems to know when Im not there. I know youre not going to like this, but Im not running to you anymore. Youve got Kikyo now, and it must be an annoyance to have to listen to me cry all the time. Im finding home, Inu, let me do it alone.
He stared at the page for a moment, shock fading away fast.
Kag...
He jumped from the chair, flipping the desk with a roar of inexplicable pain. He kicked amps and guitars from his path, smashing his fist through a table before sending it flying into the wall. He roared again, ripping the bookshelf from his path and chucking it, his roars even louder and more painful than the sound of twisting metal.
He unleashed the same treatment on his bedroom, ripping things from the walls and crushing things under foot. He moved from room to room, roaring and howling in anguished bouts until he again reached the living room.
He picked up one of his guitars, throwing it through the window. He moved for another when Kagomes scent drifted to him, filling his senses. He roared once more, collapsing into the corner.
The phone rang, but InuYasha couldnt bring himself to pick it up, couldnt bring himself to move.
Hello? Yash pick up the fucking phone, I can hear you from down here. If you dont Im coming up there. Yash?
Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes and he shoved them away roughly, a red line rising across his nose where his claw had dragged against it.
Kagome...
He let himself go.
Miroku pressed his hand frantically against the console, muttering under his breath.
Floor 38 authorization, have a good day, Kazaana-sama.
Hurry up ! He practically screamed, jamming his finger against the button.
It seemed to take hours to reach his floor, and when the elevator dinged for the thirty-eighth time he shoved the doors open and ran through into InuYashas apartment.
Yash?
Painful sobs filled the room, and it took Miroku only a moment to find InuYasha collapsed in the back corner.
Holy... He mumbled, jogging over.
Yash, are you-He reached a hand out, only to receive four light gashes across the back of his palm.
Sota struggled from his twisted sheets, peering into the bright sunlight that had begun to engulf his bedroom.
What? He mumbled, brushing his tousled obsidian locks from his face as he squinted, making out the room around him.
The doorbell rang again somewhere below him.
He moaned in discontentment, pulling on a gray t-shirt as he moved toward his door, pulling it open and heading down the stairs.
Coming, he mumbled, his half-awakened mind ignoring the fact that whoever was outside the door at this ungodly hour clearly couldnt hear him.
He grabbed the doorknob, twisting it feudally for a moment before snapping the deadbolt lock to the left. He tried again, successfully pulling the door away.
Sota! Arms squeezed around his neck, soft, silken strands brushing against his face as a feminine form pressed tight against him.
He wrinkled his brow for a moment, recognition drifting slowly across his foggy mind...
Kag?
His brown eyes opened wide, his arms automatically clutching tight against her back.
Sota...
Nee-chan?
Kagome fisted her hands against his back; he could feel the fabric of his t-shirt tightening against his skin as she held tightly to him. Soft sobs met his ears, her form trembling.
Shh, nee-chan, its okay...
He rubbed one hand up and down her lower back, trying to control his growing concern.
Kag, nee-chan, whats wrong?
Kagome was silent for a moment, and then she pulled away to look up at him, her blue eyes shimmering with tears that made shining trails down her cheeks in the sunshine that was creeping slowly in around them.
Slowly, staring down at her, he grasped the sudden, undeniable irrationality of the situation. It couldnt be much later than six; Kagome would never be allowed out this early, so...
Kagome, did you... is? He didnt even know what he was really asking; let alone how to ask it.
She sighed, her eyes drifting to the window before returning to his; I ran...
He stood there, letting the possibilities of that statement process in his mind.
Ran?
As in, running away, as in... not coming back...
Shock held him still for a moment, then a smile exploded onto his face, pulling Kagome tight to him. Shed done it; shed found the strength to finally leave Sesshoumaru. And shed said it herself, she wasnt going back.
Kagome let Sota hold her for a moment, let him enjoy the moment she knew she had to shatter.
Sota.
Even pressed against his t-shirt, she could hear the smile in his voice; Yeah, Nee-chan?
Im not staying here either...
She squeezed her eyes closed, again clenching his t-shirt in her fists, holding on tightly while she could.
N- nani?
Sessho will look here, Inu-chan will look here; they cant find me, I have to... I have to disappear.
No.
Sota, arigatou, dont make this harder than it has to be.
I wont let you.
I have to go, you have to try and understand, I know its hard.
Im not letting you leave me.
could hear the too that held ominously unsaid onto the end of that statement, and guilt crept into the very corners of her being. She knew this would hurt him, she knew that she was the only family he had left and now she was leaving too, but there wasnt any other way. For a while, at least, she had to stay away from Sesshoumaru and InuYasha. And that meant she couldnt stay here.
Im sorry... She whispered, fighting the sob that tried to escape.
Kag, arigatou, stay. Nee-chan...
I...
She tried, she tried to do what she knew she had to and say goodbye, but she couldnt. He grabbed her shoulders gently and pushed her back enough to look down at her, his brown eyes shimmering with pain and confusion as he searched her.
Ill still see you, as much as I can, She meant it; this was harder than shed expected.
Nee-chan...
She turned her gaze for a moment, letting her eyes drift to his carpet as the world slid in and out of focus. It took her almost a minute to regain control of herself, of her emotions and her limbs.
She looked back up at him, blinking slowly as the emotions bleeding through his eyes made her wince.
She tried to speak, tried to say something, tried to reassure him. She opened her mouth, but the words kept getting lost somewhere along the way.
Sota closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again they had glazed over, a numbness growing about him.
What do you need, Nee-chan?
Sota?
Money? A place to stay?
didnt sound angry, or sad, or resigned; in fact, he didnt sound anything. She battled with herself for a moment, finally deciding that she had to let him deal in his way, reminding herself that he wasnt a little boy anymore.
I need cash; I dont want to leave a trail.
He let her go, and her fingers uncurled from the soft fabric of his shirt as he walked quickly back upstairs, returning with his wallet.
Theres about a thousand in there, I keep it for emergencies and stuff.
Sota held himself together carefully, containing the urge to hug her tight and never let go. He knew she hadnt been lying when she said shed see him when she could, but when she could didnt mean often, didnt mean soon.
If you need anything, call me, okay Nee-chan?
Okay, Sota.
She stepped quickly to him, burying her face against his neck as she hugged him.
Im gonna miss you, Squirt.
He chuckled painfully; she hadnt called him that for a long time, not since shed married Sesshoumaru.
You too, Nee-chan.
He didnt want to let her go, didnt want to unwrap his arms and let her disappear out his front door. Because once she did that, she was gone. And that thought hurt.
Ill be back as soon as I can, Sota, I promise.
He hugged her tighter; she was really going to leave, really going to run away from him, from everyone.
I love you, Sota.
I love you too, Kag, he managed, his voice sounding gruff even to him.
Her arms loosened, and somehow he over-road himself and let her slip from him.
She turned to leave, her hand on the doorframe when she looked back. Her ocean gaze was shimmering with unshed tears, the pain he felt showing clearly through her eyes instead of his, as if she was mirroring his inside.
Ill come back, I promise, she whispered.
And she slipped off into the sunlight and out of his reach.
Kagome slid back into her car, driving a few blocks down before stopping to pull herself together. She took a deep breath, trying to hold off her overwhelming emotions for just a little longer.
Once she was in control again, she drove quickly toward the city, parking along a random street amongst the early morning traffic and city noise.
She waved down a taxi and slipped inside, settling her duffle next to her.
The Windgate, please.
The driver nodded, slipping back into traffic and making his way across town.
Here you are, Maam.
She paid, grabbing her bag and stepping out onto the flagstone of the entranceway.
Somehow, she managed to get a room in calm voice, even smiling at the receptionist before making her way towards the elevator.
She got off on the 18th floor, walking a short way down the hall before slipping her key in and unlocking the door to room 1824.
She closed the door, dropping her duffle and looking around for a moment.
Without warning, she collapsed into a broken heap against the door, sobs racking her form as she tried to convince herself that she could stay.
--
- By CherryBlossomMiko
--
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, hrmph.
Summary: Kagome's feudal, lust-based relationship with Sesshoumaru is pushing her emotions every which way, confusing her and driving her insane. There's only one person in the world who can make everything crystal clear; her sanity. But now Kagome's feelings for him are what are causing her controversy; can she figure it out before she looses them both?
Pairings: Sesshoumaru/Kagome (beginning), really an InuYasha/Kagome
Rating: R; for language, adult themes, and adult situations.
Author's Note: Dictionary at the bottom of chapters where needed.
--
Chapter Five: Run
--
Demonic studio building shimmered in the predawn glow of that hour after the stars begin to fade, when the light peeks over the horizon and makes the world glow without the harsh glare of its source. The windows gleamed a soft orange and a gentle gold, not allotting a view of the inside, though the rush of people that filled the halls day after day had yet to arrive.
Masaharu InuYasha walked quickly down the street, his hands shoved in his pockets and his shoulders hunched against the cold inside his leather jacket. A breeze whipped down the trees, tossing red, gold, and orange leaves into the air all around him. He ignored the leaves twirling around his legs, his nose twitching in irritation at the cold, deadened smell of fall that rose from the leaves.
He reached the glass front on the studio building, wasting little time as he slipped his ID card from his pocket, shoving it roughly into the slot in his haste. The silver console buzzed, the light turning green as the locks on the door clicked. He pulled the glass door open, hurrying away from the scent of mold that always came that time of year.
guard was slumped back in his seat, eyes closed and snoring lightly.
On duty, I see.
The man jumped, indigo eyes wide as he rose quickly from his chair, saluting InuYasha before standing stiffly behind the security desk, his hair seeming out of place as it bounced around his stiff form, still swaying from the sudden motion.
Masaharu-sama, I-
Save it, He said, the excitement of Kagomes escape overtaking him again as he headed for the elevator.
He pressed one clawed finger against the call button, the silver and black doors instantly sliding open. He stepped inside, closing the doors and pressed the last button on the silver console, the number 38 glowing unnoticeably as a pleasant female voice filled the elevator.
Security check, please place your hand against the screen.
He pressed his palm against the shimmering blue-black screen for only a moment before the voice again filled the tiny space; Floor 38 authorization, have a good day, Masaharu-sama.
He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall as the elevator rose, beeping quietly as it passed each floor. After a minute, the doors opened to InuYashas private floor; his studio apartment.
He stepped from the elevator and a smile instantly lit his face; somewhere he could smell Kagome, a fresh scent underneath all the old ones.
Kag?
He passed through the living room, tapping the blank screen of his answering machine as he glanced briefly over the counter into the kitchen before swinging around the corner into his bedroom.
Kagome?
He followed his nose across the room and back to the metallic bookcase, giving it a light shove and slipping along its circle course into the room beyond.
His eyes narrowed in confusion. Kagomes scent was all over the small, crowded room, old and new, but she wasnt there. He stepped around the piles of notebooks and guitars, setting his feet carefully among the wires. Finally, he reached the buried desk in the back of the room, shoving a stack of papers from the chair before falling down into it.
Among the scattered lyrics and notes, he could smell Kagome. He searched for a moment before pulling out a torn sheet of paper, the frayed edges catching on other sheets.
Inu-chan:
I bet you now by now that Im gone; Sesshoumaru always seems to know when Im not there. I know youre not going to like this, but Im not running to you anymore. Youve got Kikyo now, and it must be an annoyance to have to listen to me cry all the time. Im finding home, Inu, let me do it alone.
He stared at the page for a moment, shock fading away fast.
Kag...
He jumped from the chair, flipping the desk with a roar of inexplicable pain. He kicked amps and guitars from his path, smashing his fist through a table before sending it flying into the wall. He roared again, ripping the bookshelf from his path and chucking it, his roars even louder and more painful than the sound of twisting metal.
He unleashed the same treatment on his bedroom, ripping things from the walls and crushing things under foot. He moved from room to room, roaring and howling in anguished bouts until he again reached the living room.
He picked up one of his guitars, throwing it through the window. He moved for another when Kagomes scent drifted to him, filling his senses. He roared once more, collapsing into the corner.
The phone rang, but InuYasha couldnt bring himself to pick it up, couldnt bring himself to move.
Hello? Yash pick up the fucking phone, I can hear you from down here. If you dont Im coming up there. Yash?
Tears prickled in the corners of his eyes and he shoved them away roughly, a red line rising across his nose where his claw had dragged against it.
Kagome...
He let himself go.
Miroku pressed his hand frantically against the console, muttering under his breath.
Floor 38 authorization, have a good day, Kazaana-sama.
Hurry up ! He practically screamed, jamming his finger against the button.
It seemed to take hours to reach his floor, and when the elevator dinged for the thirty-eighth time he shoved the doors open and ran through into InuYashas apartment.
Yash?
Painful sobs filled the room, and it took Miroku only a moment to find InuYasha collapsed in the back corner.
Holy... He mumbled, jogging over.
Yash, are you-He reached a hand out, only to receive four light gashes across the back of his palm.
Sota struggled from his twisted sheets, peering into the bright sunlight that had begun to engulf his bedroom.
What? He mumbled, brushing his tousled obsidian locks from his face as he squinted, making out the room around him.
The doorbell rang again somewhere below him.
He moaned in discontentment, pulling on a gray t-shirt as he moved toward his door, pulling it open and heading down the stairs.
Coming, he mumbled, his half-awakened mind ignoring the fact that whoever was outside the door at this ungodly hour clearly couldnt hear him.
He grabbed the doorknob, twisting it feudally for a moment before snapping the deadbolt lock to the left. He tried again, successfully pulling the door away.
Sota! Arms squeezed around his neck, soft, silken strands brushing against his face as a feminine form pressed tight against him.
He wrinkled his brow for a moment, recognition drifting slowly across his foggy mind...
Kag?
His brown eyes opened wide, his arms automatically clutching tight against her back.
Sota...
Nee-chan?
Kagome fisted her hands against his back; he could feel the fabric of his t-shirt tightening against his skin as she held tightly to him. Soft sobs met his ears, her form trembling.
Shh, nee-chan, its okay...
He rubbed one hand up and down her lower back, trying to control his growing concern.
Kag, nee-chan, whats wrong?
Kagome was silent for a moment, and then she pulled away to look up at him, her blue eyes shimmering with tears that made shining trails down her cheeks in the sunshine that was creeping slowly in around them.
Slowly, staring down at her, he grasped the sudden, undeniable irrationality of the situation. It couldnt be much later than six; Kagome would never be allowed out this early, so...
Kagome, did you... is? He didnt even know what he was really asking; let alone how to ask it.
She sighed, her eyes drifting to the window before returning to his; I ran...
He stood there, letting the possibilities of that statement process in his mind.
Ran?
As in, running away, as in... not coming back...
Shock held him still for a moment, then a smile exploded onto his face, pulling Kagome tight to him. Shed done it; shed found the strength to finally leave Sesshoumaru. And shed said it herself, she wasnt going back.
Kagome let Sota hold her for a moment, let him enjoy the moment she knew she had to shatter.
Sota.
Even pressed against his t-shirt, she could hear the smile in his voice; Yeah, Nee-chan?
Im not staying here either...
She squeezed her eyes closed, again clenching his t-shirt in her fists, holding on tightly while she could.
N- nani?
Sessho will look here, Inu-chan will look here; they cant find me, I have to... I have to disappear.
No.
Sota, arigatou, dont make this harder than it has to be.
I wont let you.
I have to go, you have to try and understand, I know its hard.
Im not letting you leave me.
could hear the too that held ominously unsaid onto the end of that statement, and guilt crept into the very corners of her being. She knew this would hurt him, she knew that she was the only family he had left and now she was leaving too, but there wasnt any other way. For a while, at least, she had to stay away from Sesshoumaru and InuYasha. And that meant she couldnt stay here.
Im sorry... She whispered, fighting the sob that tried to escape.
Kag, arigatou, stay. Nee-chan...
I...
She tried, she tried to do what she knew she had to and say goodbye, but she couldnt. He grabbed her shoulders gently and pushed her back enough to look down at her, his brown eyes shimmering with pain and confusion as he searched her.
Ill still see you, as much as I can, She meant it; this was harder than shed expected.
Nee-chan...
She turned her gaze for a moment, letting her eyes drift to his carpet as the world slid in and out of focus. It took her almost a minute to regain control of herself, of her emotions and her limbs.
She looked back up at him, blinking slowly as the emotions bleeding through his eyes made her wince.
She tried to speak, tried to say something, tried to reassure him. She opened her mouth, but the words kept getting lost somewhere along the way.
Sota closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again they had glazed over, a numbness growing about him.
What do you need, Nee-chan?
Sota?
Money? A place to stay?
didnt sound angry, or sad, or resigned; in fact, he didnt sound anything. She battled with herself for a moment, finally deciding that she had to let him deal in his way, reminding herself that he wasnt a little boy anymore.
I need cash; I dont want to leave a trail.
He let her go, and her fingers uncurled from the soft fabric of his shirt as he walked quickly back upstairs, returning with his wallet.
Theres about a thousand in there, I keep it for emergencies and stuff.
Sota held himself together carefully, containing the urge to hug her tight and never let go. He knew she hadnt been lying when she said shed see him when she could, but when she could didnt mean often, didnt mean soon.
If you need anything, call me, okay Nee-chan?
Okay, Sota.
She stepped quickly to him, burying her face against his neck as she hugged him.
Im gonna miss you, Squirt.
He chuckled painfully; she hadnt called him that for a long time, not since shed married Sesshoumaru.
You too, Nee-chan.
He didnt want to let her go, didnt want to unwrap his arms and let her disappear out his front door. Because once she did that, she was gone. And that thought hurt.
Ill be back as soon as I can, Sota, I promise.
He hugged her tighter; she was really going to leave, really going to run away from him, from everyone.
I love you, Sota.
I love you too, Kag, he managed, his voice sounding gruff even to him.
Her arms loosened, and somehow he over-road himself and let her slip from him.
She turned to leave, her hand on the doorframe when she looked back. Her ocean gaze was shimmering with unshed tears, the pain he felt showing clearly through her eyes instead of his, as if she was mirroring his inside.
Ill come back, I promise, she whispered.
And she slipped off into the sunlight and out of his reach.
Kagome slid back into her car, driving a few blocks down before stopping to pull herself together. She took a deep breath, trying to hold off her overwhelming emotions for just a little longer.
Once she was in control again, she drove quickly toward the city, parking along a random street amongst the early morning traffic and city noise.
She waved down a taxi and slipped inside, settling her duffle next to her.
The Windgate, please.
The driver nodded, slipping back into traffic and making his way across town.
Here you are, Maam.
She paid, grabbing her bag and stepping out onto the flagstone of the entranceway.
Somehow, she managed to get a room in calm voice, even smiling at the receptionist before making her way towards the elevator.
She got off on the 18th floor, walking a short way down the hall before slipping her key in and unlocking the door to room 1824.
She closed the door, dropping her duffle and looking around for a moment.
Without warning, she collapsed into a broken heap against the door, sobs racking her form as she tried to convince herself that she could stay.
--