InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ In the Arms of My Sanity ❯ Interlude: Cut ( Chapter 7 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: CherryBlossomMiko 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.29.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 486 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Drama | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.29.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.3K | Visits: 486 | Status: Completed
In the Arms of My Sanity
- By CherryBlossomMiko
--
Disclaimer: Right now, I officially have tied finances with Jess. Between the two of us and our current money commitments, a.k.a. debts, we have negative $2.75 I think
Summary: Kagomes feudal, lust based relationship with Sesshoumaru is pushing her emotions every which way, confusing her and driving her insane. Theres only one person in the world who can make everything crystal clear; her sanity. But now her feelings for him are whats causing her controversy, can she figure it out before she losses them both?
Pairings: Sesshoumaru/Kagome (beginning), really an InuYasha/Kagome
Rating: R; for language, violence, adult situations
Authors Note: Im sorry if some of the language in this chapter offends people! I personally would never use some of these, but certain characters in this story would. I would be thankful if people did not flame about the language; you may mention that it offended you or that you found it excessive (as it will be taken into consideration during the edit), but please try and separate me and my characters; I write them, but Im not them.
Warning: Extreme language
** And you, you with the husband and the mouse that thinks the review button is cheese, I send you so much pocky it will stuff your basement while youre away **
--
:: Interlude: Cut ::
- Lyrics: Cute Without the E (Cut from the Team), Taking Back Sunday
--
your lipstick, his collar
dont bother, angel
i know exactly what goes on
-
InuYasha wanted to rip everything in his apartment to shreds; every couch, every door, every pillow. He wanted to break all the windows and punch holes in every wall. He wanted to break things because that was all he could hear inside his head.
Broken
He didnt know how, but somewhere along the way hed known that Kagome was broken in more ways than he could fix. Some time between dinner hours ago and now, he had figured out that he was useless to her, because everything that happened was something he couldnt fix and something he couldnt stop.
He grabbed a lamp from an end table as he passed, flinging it and watching with savage pleasure as it smashed against the wall, the light bulb shattering and the metal twisting slightly as it dented the wall and left a gray mark. He growled, the intensity of the moment passing and he knew that this was only the beginning of his destructive rampage, that lamp the smallest of the things he was going to break before dawn.
A ringing rose over his continued sounds of discontentment, and it took him a moment to realize that it was his phone. He picked up the clock that had sat next to the now twisted and broken lamp, glancing at it before chucking it behind him, the satisfying crash making him only angrier as it died and the room was again reigned by the ring of his phone. Who the hell would be calling at three in the fucking morning?
What the hell do you want? He growled, trying to contain his anger enough not to break the receiver held tightly in his clawed hand.
I warned you, I said that if you got involved again I would simply deal with you; I didnt anticipate your uncontrollable stupidity.
InuYasha growled, Involved in what? I havent done anything you bastard.
Then who did? Who the hell did you pay?
What the fuck are you talking about, Sesshoumaru!
Kagome.
He paused, his angry rant upended for a moment in shock; "N- nani?"
"She's gone, hanyou."
"G- gone?"
It took nearly ten seconds for him to process the words, his eyes sliding out of focus as the power of those words hit him, the undeniable truth slipping under his skin to settle within him. For a moment, the one thought that came to the surface seemed to be the only words that existed to him.
I wasn't involved...
And as the seconds passed, and Sesshoumaru growled irritably on the other end of the phone line, miles away, he knew that no one else was involved either, that no one else had taken her or planned this, he just knew, just like he had known she was broken.
"She's running," he mumbled, the true meaning of those words not yet having grasped him.
"What?"
"She's running," he repeated louder, "And she knows how."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"She's been with us since we were kids, Sesshoumaru, she knows how your senses work, how my senses work. That breaking was too much Sesshoumaru, you pushed her too far this time; she's gone, Sesshoumaru, she's gone."
He dropped the receiver back into place, numb disbelief settling into him as he collapsed back onto the couch, his mind reeling.
Kagome had done it; finally, somehow, she'd escaped. And this was big, this was more than he had ever imagined; because Sesshoumaru wasn't the only thing holding her back, nor was it the biggest, not by far. What had really been holding her back from leaving was her. All this time, he had known that Sesshoumaru was wrong for Kagome; he'd never said it, but he'd known it, everyone did. The only person who had ever actually said anything to her was Sota, and he'd received no real response from Kagome, who brushed it off.
But now, it was obvious, he had been right, the breaking had been too much. But the consequences had surpassed even his own expectations; maybe Kagome wasn't as broken as he thought; in some ways, yeah, she was definitely broken, beyond repair even. But this had shown him, this had proven it; in a lot of ways, Kagome was the strongest person he knew. The strongest because she had overcome the strongest thing in the world; love. Yes, he was willing and able to admit it; Kagome did love Sesshoumaru. But Sesshoumaru didn't love her back, and that was unforgivable; unforgivable because, though Sesshoumaru had never truly lied and said those three words, he had led Kagome to believe they did; through their marriage, through their mating, even for these two years up until months ago Sesshoumaru had led Kagome to believe that he did love her, but that he was just unable to express his emotions. InuYasha growled at the thought.
But then the growl faded, and excitement began to overtake him. Kagome was running. And whenever Kagome ran, she ran to him.
He heard footsteps beyond the door, a key scraping against the lock before it clicked, the door opening slowly. A delicate hand appeared, followed by an equally eloquent arm.
"Kagome!"
"Not quite, Inu-baby, not quite."
"K- Kikyo?"
The door was pushed fully open and Kikyo stood there, still dressed in her dinner clothes, removing her hand from his doorknob to hold steady the gun pointed at his head.
-
when everything you'll get is
everything that you wanted
well, which would you prefer
my finger on the trigger or
me face down, down across your floor (x3)
well just so long as this thing's loaded
and will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
this all was only wishful thinkin'
this all was only wishful thinkin'
(x2) let's go
-
"Kikyo what the hell are you doing?"
She cocked her head, pouting at him in an almost seductive way, though the fire in her eyes was creeping along his skin.
"Well, see, I'm a very pretty girl, Inu-baby, and I'm used to getting what I want. I guess you could say I don't deal well when I don't..."
"Kikyo, put the gun down," he held her gaze, trying to keep her talking.
"Inu-baby, I don't think you understand. I am first priority when I want to be, with any man, with anything, especially you. And then you started putting that bitch over me; that's never happened before. And this is my way of dealing with it."
He dug his claws into the sofa, shredding the leather beneath his fingers. Anger roared hot under his skin, crimson trying to control his gaze as he fought against himself; he was fast, but he wasn't fast than a gun and he didn't know how great a shot she was.
"Oh, what's wrong Inu-baby? Would you do that if someone called me a bitch, hmm? I bet you wouldn't."
He gritted his teeth, refusing to answer her, though the narrowing of her eyes showed clear to the fact that she could interpret his silence as an answer.
She cant give you what I can, Inu-baby, not even close.
He watched her for a moment, weighing the possible effects of opening his mouth. In the end, the risk was too great; his youkai was rising and angry beneath his skin, still tearing at his self control, trying to get him to lose himself in the anger.
That little bitch cant give you shit, and you know it; shes a useless whore Inu, your brothers useless wh-
Before he even consciously gave in, his youkai had taken over; burning painful in his blood in absolute and pure rage. In the moment it took for his movements to even begin to register in the back of Kikyos mind, he had already overtaken her. In an impulse reaction, she had fired a shot into the ceiling.
-
wait...
how about i'm outside of your window
watching him keep all the details covered
you're such a sucker for a sweet talker
...
and the only thing i regret
is that i never let you hold me
back
-
She cant give me shit, huh? Well thats all youve ever fucking given me; you think I dont know about them Kikyo? You think I dont know about any of those other guys?
His nose was practically touching hers, his yells ringing in his own ears. Hate seethed through him in a way he hadnt imagined he was capable of, his skin burning painfully where he held her throat and her wrist.
Youll never get anything from that bitch, sh-
He began to close his hand, part of him fascinated by the ease at which hed overcome her, at the feel of her bones ready to shatter beneath his fingertips.
Youre fragile Kikyo; you think youre strong, but underneath my all those cold glares, your body if just as breakable as every other humans.
-
she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else
-
Kikyo pulled her mouth into a cruel smile, her eyes still flashing. It was almost amusing, how convinced she was that she held all the cards, how convinced she was that she had all this power, that he wouldnt do it. The corners of his mouth twitched at the thought, at her obliviousness to the energy it was costing him to control his youkai enough to keep her alive.
Just like that little cunt.
He let go, he let his youkai infect every corner of his mind. The world whirled to a crimson tint, his anger seeming the only rational thing to him, killing Kikyo the only thing he could think about.
He smirked, and Kikyos steady smile wavered.
You think youre going to walk away, dont you, you stupid bitch.
Kikyos hardened glare faded, panic edging in around the corners as she began to twist her wrist in a wild attempt to regain control. She fired two more shots into the ceiling before he slowly steered her arm down, stepping back to allow the continued twist. When he finally held her wrist steady, it was level with her stomach.
He leaned into her ear, his eyes flashing with anticipation; Youre wrong.
And without hesitation, he pulled the trigger.
-
hoping for the best
just hoping nothing happens
a thousand clever lines
unread on clever napkins
i won't ever ask if you don't ever tell me
i know you well enough to know
you'll never love me
...
all of this was all your fault
i stay wrecked and jealous for this simple reason
(you x8)
that i just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
why can't i feel anything
from anyone other than you
--
- By CherryBlossomMiko
--
Disclaimer: Right now, I officially have tied finances with Jess. Between the two of us and our current money commitments, a.k.a. debts, we have negative $2.75 I think
Summary: Kagomes feudal, lust based relationship with Sesshoumaru is pushing her emotions every which way, confusing her and driving her insane. Theres only one person in the world who can make everything crystal clear; her sanity. But now her feelings for him are whats causing her controversy, can she figure it out before she losses them both?
Pairings: Sesshoumaru/Kagome (beginning), really an InuYasha/Kagome
Rating: R; for language, violence, adult situations
Authors Note: Im sorry if some of the language in this chapter offends people! I personally would never use some of these, but certain characters in this story would. I would be thankful if people did not flame about the language; you may mention that it offended you or that you found it excessive (as it will be taken into consideration during the edit), but please try and separate me and my characters; I write them, but Im not them.
Warning: Extreme language
** And you, you with the husband and the mouse that thinks the review button is cheese, I send you so much pocky it will stuff your basement while youre away **
--
:: Interlude: Cut ::
- Lyrics: Cute Without the E (Cut from the Team), Taking Back Sunday
--
your lipstick, his collar
dont bother, angel
i know exactly what goes on
-
InuYasha wanted to rip everything in his apartment to shreds; every couch, every door, every pillow. He wanted to break all the windows and punch holes in every wall. He wanted to break things because that was all he could hear inside his head.
Broken
He didnt know how, but somewhere along the way hed known that Kagome was broken in more ways than he could fix. Some time between dinner hours ago and now, he had figured out that he was useless to her, because everything that happened was something he couldnt fix and something he couldnt stop.
He grabbed a lamp from an end table as he passed, flinging it and watching with savage pleasure as it smashed against the wall, the light bulb shattering and the metal twisting slightly as it dented the wall and left a gray mark. He growled, the intensity of the moment passing and he knew that this was only the beginning of his destructive rampage, that lamp the smallest of the things he was going to break before dawn.
A ringing rose over his continued sounds of discontentment, and it took him a moment to realize that it was his phone. He picked up the clock that had sat next to the now twisted and broken lamp, glancing at it before chucking it behind him, the satisfying crash making him only angrier as it died and the room was again reigned by the ring of his phone. Who the hell would be calling at three in the fucking morning?
What the hell do you want? He growled, trying to contain his anger enough not to break the receiver held tightly in his clawed hand.
I warned you, I said that if you got involved again I would simply deal with you; I didnt anticipate your uncontrollable stupidity.
InuYasha growled, Involved in what? I havent done anything you bastard.
Then who did? Who the hell did you pay?
What the fuck are you talking about, Sesshoumaru!
Kagome.
He paused, his angry rant upended for a moment in shock; "N- nani?"
"She's gone, hanyou."
"G- gone?"
It took nearly ten seconds for him to process the words, his eyes sliding out of focus as the power of those words hit him, the undeniable truth slipping under his skin to settle within him. For a moment, the one thought that came to the surface seemed to be the only words that existed to him.
I wasn't involved...
And as the seconds passed, and Sesshoumaru growled irritably on the other end of the phone line, miles away, he knew that no one else was involved either, that no one else had taken her or planned this, he just knew, just like he had known she was broken.
"She's running," he mumbled, the true meaning of those words not yet having grasped him.
"What?"
"She's running," he repeated louder, "And she knows how."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"She's been with us since we were kids, Sesshoumaru, she knows how your senses work, how my senses work. That breaking was too much Sesshoumaru, you pushed her too far this time; she's gone, Sesshoumaru, she's gone."
He dropped the receiver back into place, numb disbelief settling into him as he collapsed back onto the couch, his mind reeling.
Kagome had done it; finally, somehow, she'd escaped. And this was big, this was more than he had ever imagined; because Sesshoumaru wasn't the only thing holding her back, nor was it the biggest, not by far. What had really been holding her back from leaving was her. All this time, he had known that Sesshoumaru was wrong for Kagome; he'd never said it, but he'd known it, everyone did. The only person who had ever actually said anything to her was Sota, and he'd received no real response from Kagome, who brushed it off.
But now, it was obvious, he had been right, the breaking had been too much. But the consequences had surpassed even his own expectations; maybe Kagome wasn't as broken as he thought; in some ways, yeah, she was definitely broken, beyond repair even. But this had shown him, this had proven it; in a lot of ways, Kagome was the strongest person he knew. The strongest because she had overcome the strongest thing in the world; love. Yes, he was willing and able to admit it; Kagome did love Sesshoumaru. But Sesshoumaru didn't love her back, and that was unforgivable; unforgivable because, though Sesshoumaru had never truly lied and said those three words, he had led Kagome to believe they did; through their marriage, through their mating, even for these two years up until months ago Sesshoumaru had led Kagome to believe that he did love her, but that he was just unable to express his emotions. InuYasha growled at the thought.
But then the growl faded, and excitement began to overtake him. Kagome was running. And whenever Kagome ran, she ran to him.
He heard footsteps beyond the door, a key scraping against the lock before it clicked, the door opening slowly. A delicate hand appeared, followed by an equally eloquent arm.
"Kagome!"
"Not quite, Inu-baby, not quite."
"K- Kikyo?"
The door was pushed fully open and Kikyo stood there, still dressed in her dinner clothes, removing her hand from his doorknob to hold steady the gun pointed at his head.
-
when everything you'll get is
everything that you wanted
well, which would you prefer
my finger on the trigger or
me face down, down across your floor (x3)
well just so long as this thing's loaded
and will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
this all was only wishful thinkin'
this all was only wishful thinkin'
(x2) let's go
-
"Kikyo what the hell are you doing?"
She cocked her head, pouting at him in an almost seductive way, though the fire in her eyes was creeping along his skin.
"Well, see, I'm a very pretty girl, Inu-baby, and I'm used to getting what I want. I guess you could say I don't deal well when I don't..."
"Kikyo, put the gun down," he held her gaze, trying to keep her talking.
"Inu-baby, I don't think you understand. I am first priority when I want to be, with any man, with anything, especially you. And then you started putting that bitch over me; that's never happened before. And this is my way of dealing with it."
He dug his claws into the sofa, shredding the leather beneath his fingers. Anger roared hot under his skin, crimson trying to control his gaze as he fought against himself; he was fast, but he wasn't fast than a gun and he didn't know how great a shot she was.
"Oh, what's wrong Inu-baby? Would you do that if someone called me a bitch, hmm? I bet you wouldn't."
He gritted his teeth, refusing to answer her, though the narrowing of her eyes showed clear to the fact that she could interpret his silence as an answer.
She cant give you what I can, Inu-baby, not even close.
He watched her for a moment, weighing the possible effects of opening his mouth. In the end, the risk was too great; his youkai was rising and angry beneath his skin, still tearing at his self control, trying to get him to lose himself in the anger.
That little bitch cant give you shit, and you know it; shes a useless whore Inu, your brothers useless wh-
Before he even consciously gave in, his youkai had taken over; burning painful in his blood in absolute and pure rage. In the moment it took for his movements to even begin to register in the back of Kikyos mind, he had already overtaken her. In an impulse reaction, she had fired a shot into the ceiling.
-
wait...
how about i'm outside of your window
watching him keep all the details covered
you're such a sucker for a sweet talker
...
and the only thing i regret
is that i never let you hold me
back
-
She cant give me shit, huh? Well thats all youve ever fucking given me; you think I dont know about them Kikyo? You think I dont know about any of those other guys?
His nose was practically touching hers, his yells ringing in his own ears. Hate seethed through him in a way he hadnt imagined he was capable of, his skin burning painfully where he held her throat and her wrist.
Youll never get anything from that bitch, sh-
He began to close his hand, part of him fascinated by the ease at which hed overcome her, at the feel of her bones ready to shatter beneath his fingertips.
Youre fragile Kikyo; you think youre strong, but underneath my all those cold glares, your body if just as breakable as every other humans.
-
she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else
-
Kikyo pulled her mouth into a cruel smile, her eyes still flashing. It was almost amusing, how convinced she was that she held all the cards, how convinced she was that she had all this power, that he wouldnt do it. The corners of his mouth twitched at the thought, at her obliviousness to the energy it was costing him to control his youkai enough to keep her alive.
Just like that little cunt.
He let go, he let his youkai infect every corner of his mind. The world whirled to a crimson tint, his anger seeming the only rational thing to him, killing Kikyo the only thing he could think about.
He smirked, and Kikyos steady smile wavered.
You think youre going to walk away, dont you, you stupid bitch.
Kikyos hardened glare faded, panic edging in around the corners as she began to twist her wrist in a wild attempt to regain control. She fired two more shots into the ceiling before he slowly steered her arm down, stepping back to allow the continued twist. When he finally held her wrist steady, it was level with her stomach.
He leaned into her ear, his eyes flashing with anticipation; Youre wrong.
And without hesitation, he pulled the trigger.
-
hoping for the best
just hoping nothing happens
a thousand clever lines
unread on clever napkins
i won't ever ask if you don't ever tell me
i know you well enough to know
you'll never love me
...
all of this was all your fault
i stay wrecked and jealous for this simple reason
(you x8)
that i just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
why can't i feel anything
from anyone other than you
--