InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Incomplete ❯ Chapter 10 ( Chapter 10 )

Sesshomaru’s room was dark but for the faint glow cast off by the fire in the hearth. It was quiet, too, and Kagome was acutely aware of the rustle of her clothes as she knelt beside the futon they'd lain him on. Pressing her lips together, she methodically studied each of the slashes across his chest and noted that his demon blood had already begun to heal the worst of the injuries. When it came to healing, there wasn't much she could do that his body couldn't, but she couldn't sit idly by feeling helpless either.

Taking up the fresh cloths that'd been laid out, she soaked them in a bowl of lavender water and twisted out the excess. She had a very limited knowledge of medicines, just scraps and tidbits she’d gained here and there from Kaede, but she seemed to remember hearing something about lavender having the ability to ease pain and speed healing.

Every little bit helps, she thought with a tiny shrug before laying the first damp cloth across his wounds. As soon as it touched his skin, claws wrapped dangerously around her throat. It was a purely instinctual reaction, self-preservation at its very best, but she didn't have time to appreciate the awesomeness of his senses. While his conscious mind remained unresponsive, he was slowly squeezing the life from her and she had no way of stopping him.

A sudden violent snarl cut through the silence in the room and his eyes snapped open. Still shining deep crimson, they fixed on her with no signs of awareness or recognition. Frantically, she clawed at his wrists, desperate for air. Her peripheral vision was slowly fading and everything in front of her had begun to narrow into a single, far away point. If she didn't get air soon, he wouldn't be the only one lying on the floor half dead.

After a long, drawn out moment, he blinked and his eyes reverted back to their normal, cold amber. His hand released her throat as an afterthought and he looked away, offering no word of apology.

Kagome gasped for air and collapsed onto the floor in a coughing fit. That'd been far, far too close for comfort. Eyeing him warily, she pushed herself upright and gently rubbed her throat.

“I was only trying to help," she croaked, her voice hoarse. "You didn’t have to try and kill me.”

“What gives you the impression I want or need your help, Miko?” he sneered.

Face wrought with indignation she put her hands on her hips and stared him down.

“I'm not going anywhere, so unless you actually plan on killing me you better get used to me being around. At least until you're healed, anyway.”

"Don't tempt me," he warned, his expression serious.

She pulled away just to be on the safe side and grabbed another damp bandage from her pile. Hazarding a cautious glance at his claws, she gingerly laid it across his chest. No claws wrapped around her neck or attempted to flay her in two, so she continued with the rest, methodically placing them across his wounds until they were completely covered. She could feel the tension in his body every time she touched him, no doubt revulsion at being touched by a mere human, but he made no move to stop her ministrations.

Sesshomaru brooded in silence while the priestess went about her 'healing'. A burning wave of pain spread out from one of the deeper wounds on his chest and faded into an uncomfortable, constant pulse. His body may heal quickly, but that didn't mean there was no pain associated with the process. Tightening his hand into a fist, he silently cursed his father for ever having begot a half-demon bastard son, and his own weakness, too, for allowing himself to be so easily distracted in battle. Foolish.

He waited impatiently for the Miko to finish applying bandages to the various slashes and stabs wounds that covered his torso and arm. The sooner she finished, the sooner he could be rid of her presence. She was in the middle of bandaging a particularly nasty gash on his arm when her hands slowed and she looked up at him with a curious expression.

“Who is Minako?” she wondered aloud.

He remained silent for a long while. The Miko's question had caught him off guard, bringing with it far too many buried memories he had no desire to be reacquainted with. He had no reason to tell her anything, so perhaps it was merely out of boredom then that he deigned to answer.

“Minako was...my mate.”

The sound of his own voice speaking those words came as a surprise. It'd been centuries since he'd uttered her name, much less spoken of her at all. A sudden heaviness filled his chest and he instantly regretting opening the door to the past, even if it was only a crack.

He groaned inwardly when the Miko set down her bowl of herbal water and gave him her full attention.

“Is she...?” she asked hesitantly, sounding just as surprised by his admission as he was.

He focused his attention on the far wall in the hopes that if he ignored her long enough she'd make herself scarce. Apparently she took his silence as an answer. She uttered a soft 'Oh...' and dropped her gaze to the floor.

“How did she die?”

His mouth twisted into a bitter frown. This was the part he didn't want to remember. The memory of that night was one he would gladly banish into oblivion if he had the chance, but it stubbornly lingered in his thoughts like an unwanted leech. The guilt had never subsided and neither had the hollowness her death left inside of him. That day had forever changed him. Her death had made him into who and what he was, but he couldn't thank her for it. He hated the bitch for dying and taking his child with her.

“Childbirth," he answered, his voice hard.

The Miko looked upon him with eyes that were filled with pity. The sight of it made his insides recoil. He didn't want her pity. He wanted...

A thoughtful look crossed the Miko's face before she asked, “Does Inuyasha know?”

He aimed a scornful look at her and sneered. “Inuyasha is an ignorant half breed.”

Her mouth pursed at his words, but she wisely chose not to contradict him.

“If Minako was a demon, how did something like childbirth kill her? I thought you demons were almost invincible?”

He said nothing for a long while, his face frozen into a pensive frown. The Miko showed no signs of leaving and eventually he relented. Pulling in a deep breath, he let it out slowly and closed his eyes.

“She was...human.”

For the first time the word ‘human’ didn't leave his lips with a tone of disgust trailing off of it, only disappointment.

“Tell me what she was like,” she pleaded. Her curiosity and incessant prodding knew no bounds. Pity for her, he was no longer in an indulgent mood.

Annoyed and eager to be alone, he fixed the Miko with a look that promised pain and death. Her throat swallowed convulsively and she nodded with understanding. She made quick work of grabbing her things and disappeared silently out the door.

He wasn't the least bit sorry to see her go.

oOo

Miroku peered through the thick foliage, his face betraying the worries that were in his heart. Sango stood next to him, her hand on his arm, and voiced her thoughts aloud.

“He’s been there all day like that. Do you think we should stop him?”

The monk had been pondering the same course of action. Truthfully though, he didn’t know what to do. He’d never handled a situation quite like this one. How do you console someone after they’ve done something so horrific?

Placing his arm casually around her shoulders, he pulled the demon slayer into him and rested his chin thoughtfully on her head. He tried to imagine what he would do if it were him. In the end he gave up thinking about it; to think that he could ever intentionally harm the woman he loved was unfathomable. Sango rested her head against his chest and clung gently to his robes.

The news of what’d happened between Inuyasha and Kagome rocked their group to its very foundations. The campsite had been quiet and sullen ever since he’d returned with the light of dawn, his claws still covered in her blood. Though she was angry with him for using a jewel shard to become a demon (as they all were), Sango pitied him. She knew the only reason he’d done it was to save Kagome. Her heart ached for him when she thought of the pain and self loathing he must be feeling. It was the same feeling she had every time she tried to save Kohaku from Naraku, only to have him be just beyond her reach.

“Come, let’s go back to the camp. We’ll check up on him later.”

Sango listened to Miroku’s voice as it rumbled through his chest. She nodded silently in agreement and took his arm as he led her back to the campfire.

Beyond the trees, the clearing held no life except for Inuyasha. The forest animals could smell the scent of blood on him and wisely kept their distance, watching him from afar. He stood waist deep in a shallow pond, one that Kagome frequently bathed in when she stayed in the village. Upon returning from Sesshomaru’s palace he’d immediately gone to the pond to scrub the smell of Kagome and Sesshomaru’s blood from his claws. Every time the scent reached his nostrils it made him feel sick to his stomach. No matter how much he scrubbed the scent of her blood simply refused to go away. It lingered in the air, tormenting him with what he’d done.

The worst part was he couldn’t remember any of it. No matter how hard he tried it was all blank, except for the moment when he’d seen that look of betrayal in her eyes. He would never forget that look. Inuyasha shut his eyes tight against the memory and smashed his fist into a nearby rock. He beat it over and over again, refusing to stop even when blood seeped from his knuckles. He wanted to make it go away, all of it. He needed the sick feeling in his gut to subside so he could go on without wanting to tear himself to pieces for what he’d done to her.

Exhausted, he managed to drag himself to the water’s edge and collapsed into the wet reeds. As he lay stretched out on his back he stared up into the cloudless sky and contemplated what would happen next. If Kagome never returned what would he do? He didn’t even know what life was without her any more. So much of what he did revolved around her and their search for the jewel shards that anything else just didn’t feel normal.

He didn’t notice his eyes drifting closed until he awoke with a start some time later. The sunny, cloudless sky had long since disappeared and been replaced with a clear, starry night. Inuyasha stared up at the constellations overhead and for the first time in a long while he took a moment to appreciate them.

Kagome always told him how beautiful the stars in the feudal era were compared to those in the modern world. He’d never bothered to listen before, but now he clung to her words as if they were a life line.

His quiet moment was disturbed by a subtle change in the wind that brought with it a new and troubling scent. He turned toward the forest and felt his heart drop when Kikyo emerged from the tree line. She regarded him impassively before stepping forward into the clearing. Inuyasha was on his feet in a moment, anger contorting his features.

She was the cause of all of this. If it weren't for her, everything would be normal. Kagome would be at his side, they'd still be hunting Naraku together, and he wouldn't have the stench of her blood on his claws. He growled softly at the dead miko as she continued forward, steadily closing the space between them.

“What do you want?” he demanded harshly. His tone was razor sharp. He was in no mood to play her games tonight.

Kikyo closed her eyes thoughtfully and when she opened them again they shone with pity, not anger or hatred.

“Poor Inuyasha,” she soothed. “Are you doomed to repeat the same fate for all eternity?”

Inuyasha's scowled at her, but his claws slowly lowered to his sides.

“I thought it would be enough," he confessed so softly his voice could barely be heard above the wind. "How I felt about her... I thought it was stronger than my demon side but I was wrong. I tried to kill her today. How do you ask someone to forgive you after something like that?”

Inuyasha paused and took a shuddering breath. He refused to cry before Kikyo but the harder he fought against the tears the most they stung his eyes. It was as if his emotions had finally reached their limit. The walls he’d so carefully constructed around his heart were slowly breaking down.

Closing the space between them, Kikyo pulled him into her arms and held him tight. He remained stiff at first, not wanting to trust that this unusual show of emotion from her was genuine, but eventually need outweighed pride and he returned her tender embrace. She kissed him gently on the lips, and the touch of her skin was cool and soft against his own. The tenderness of her touch reached some hidden need buried deep inside his heart and he found himself kissing her back.

For Kikyo to be the one person who could console him was mind boggling. He’d expected Sango and Miroku, perhaps even Shippo or Kaede, but they'd abandoned him once they realized what he was capable of. Kikyo knew the monster that resided inside of him, she'd seen first hand what it could do, but she'd still come to him anyway. A dead priestess was all he had left.

Reaching his hands into her hair, he slowly undid the crimson sash that bound her raven locks together and freed them. He took his time running his fingers through the strands, enjoying the silkiness of their touch against his chaffed hands. He needed this - a distraction - anything to keep from thinking about what he'd done...

When their kiss finally broke, Kikyo stared solemnly into his amber eyes.

“Inuyasha-,” she began to object, but he didn't give her the chance. He pressed his lips to hers, fuelled by an urgent need to dispel the hollow sense of loneliness that'd slowly been creeping in. Meanwhile, inside of him a tiny voice quietly begged Kagome to forgive him for what he was about to do.