InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Interludes ❯ We Are Three ( Chapter 3 )

Chapter 3 - WE ARE THREE

(Vol. 5, Scroll 7: Earth and Bones to Scroll 11: Betrayal AND Vol. 6, Scroll 1: Hatred Unspent, Scroll 2: A Soul Asunder)

 

Kagome

 

The putrid stench of the grassy stew Urasue poured over my bound hands splashed up my nose and roiled my stomach. The rocky walls around this mountain ledge were beginning to blur when I saw Kikyo's form waver into view. Urasue called her “Lady Kikyo,” and even though I'd never seen her before, somehow I knew it really was Kikyo's body that leaned unsteadily over the basin where I floated. I felt myself slipping into a dream, and I fought to stay aware of this bizarre scene.

 

Before I heard InuYasha call out, I felt his presence. No, his presence “was felt” within me. I felt another so close to me we floated in the same body. It was the other that knew InuYasha was coming. And it was the other that erected the barrier to keep Urasue away from “us.” The disgusting smell, the ghostly shapes above me, the unfocused landscape and the growing numbness in my skin all converged upon me, threatening to overcome my every attempt to stay awake. I heard people running towards me. I felt a stab of fear that was not mine strike my heart and a small scared voice screech into my mind, “don't say my name!” Somehow I knew the feared name was not “Kagome.”

 

“Kikyo!” I heard InuYasha say in a shocked voice. We were both sad to hear that name burst from his lips with such desperation. We both cried as my body rose and consciousness left me.

 

Soul burst forth and leave me

Empty in the dark.

I am no place.

 

I will not die today.

I will save him now.

She is not me.

 

 

InuYasha

 

Kikyo's gravesoil body fell away from me into mist. Her robes fluttered violently against her face, and even as her eyes screamed shock that she had not dragged me into freefall, her voice was silent. I hung there on the edge of the cliff watching her diminish until she was gone. Again.

 

My mind turned slowly to the mechanics of getting off that rock, while my hand independently considered the possibility of loosening its grip so my body could follow Kikyo down into nothingness. My heart did not care whether my mind or my hand won the battle. It was a dead weight in my chest.

 

I don't know how long I hung there, waiting for some sound below that resolved Kikyo's short rebirth. Eventually, it occurred to me there would be no resolution. I had briefly held Kikyo again, but the mystery had only deepened as to why she had betrayed me. For I now knew that she believed she was the one betrayed. Perhaps it was merely stubborn curiosity that gave my mind the strength to overrule my hand's death wish.

 

As I rolled over the stony edge onto my back, staring at the darkening storm's underbelly above, some small objective part of me marveled at the great wound that those few moments with Kikyo had reopened. Some part of my heart feared for Kagome's soul, perhaps lost in the mist below, but the great surge of lovesick grief washing over me drowned out any urge to rush to Kagome's side.

 

Kikyo. I thought I'd come back to life again. I'd become content with seeing your shadow in Kagome's face. But you stood before me today and fifty years of suffering reopened under our feet. You died again, and you're taking me with you again. A tear brimmed on my eyelid, making me angry. To touch you again, and lose you again. If only … how could our dream have come to such tragedy? She must be dead. Again. Another tear pushed itself upon the first. I blinked and caught it with a shaking hand before it could spill into view. But what of your soul this time? Would you return to Kagome? Might I see her there again?

 

Kagome. To my surprise, the pain eased slightly at the image of Kagome's body arching up - as though calling out to her lost soul in Kikyo's earthsoil body. Intentionally or not, Kagome had saved me from Kikyo's death grip, and from the impossible choice I faced of whether to save myself or kill Kikyo's sham form. Kagome. Again and again she saved me. Even though I had not asked it of her once. Again and again she risked her life for my life. What at first seemed to me pure stupidity had begun to seem like a gift she gave to me over and over. I still didn't understand why she did it, but it made me protective of her, and imagining her soul lost forever in the mists did send a small stab of fear into my heart. Her constant gifts -- the risks, the tears, the smiles -- somehow made me feel worthy of them. Thinking of this, and how she had once again reached into a depth of strength I could not fathom -- apparently to save me -- was a weak pull, but it was enough to get me on my feet and stumbling towards her, lying in Kaede's arms on the ledge above.

 

Kikyo's absence dragged at me, threatening to tumble me backwards off the precipice again, but the hope that I might see a glimmer of her in Kagome's eyes pulled me forward.

 

 

Kikyo

 

I was not whole. I had a body, its arms wrapped around you. But I could not feel you as I once longed to do. My limbs were numb and my soul struggled to hold its center in the gravesoil body shell. You spoke and I heard your words as through a wall.

 

“What was hard for me,” you said into my earthsoil hair, “was twice as hard for you.”

 

The fragments of my soul quivered, not really at home in this new shell, and I knew I should let go and leave you to live untormented. This thought weakened my grip on the new body. I felt your hand on my shoulder, and the memory of your claws digging into the memory of that flesh welled up, bringing with it a red wave of fear and pain. All thought of forgiveness, of setting my pride aside - like some kind of selfless gift to you in exchange for a few sweet words - snuffed out of my heart like a smoky wisp. Summoning all my power into the well of my hatred, I became blind to the other in me, and thus unprepared for her call. When it came, I felt the soul so tentatively mine melting, dividing, loosening its grip on this form, slipping away back to her still form. But my hatred stayed strong, holding me up and giving me the strength to follow gravity's pull down the sloped rocky face of the mountain.

 

Your hand sent a dull pressure into my arm as you caught me at the edge. Perhaps I might still take you with me into darkness.

 

God damn you!

Why will you not join me in hell?

We belong together you and I.

 

Together.

Alive or dead. We are together.

Or we wander alone forever.