InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ It's easier to go ❯ bodings ( Chapter 21 )
It's easier to go
Chapter 21Bondings
Hi guys and thanks for the reviews. I know you must be a little bit confused about Kag's actions like running from Sess or her past, but I'll try to explain
it all this chapter. And by the way I'm thinking of starting a new story, I have some idea of it, but I need to know if you would want an AU or just Sengoku Jidai.Please tell me!
Sesshoumaru slowly approached her until he was standing right in front her. He gently took her hands while kneeling on the bed. Then he pulled her towards him until she straddled his hips and placed her hands around his neck.
Kagome instantly collapsed against him .
Her head was burried at the junction between his neck and shoulder.Silent tears ran down her cheeks and onto his shirt.
The only thing she felt now, was emptyness. She felt darkness everywhere in her body, everywhere in her mind and everywhere in her soul. It was having the abiss in you, consuming you from the inside.
She wanted to close her eyes, wanted to escpape from all, but she knew that even then she would not be as safe as she was now .
Suddenly it hit her. She was safe. No void of blackness would take her, no darkness would surround her, no helplessness burn her .No, none of these would mark her.
But why, why now after so long, after so much time of desireing peace, why did she have it?
That's the first time she heard it - a heartbeat. Steady, calm,
secure.Slowly she noticed that arms were around her, keeping her warm, granding her shelter.
Slowly she looked up at the one who held her.
She saw amber eyes stare back at her.
Sesshoumaru stared back into her eyes, looking deep into her soul.
He had learned martial arts a long time ago, and his teachers had tought him to look for weeknesses everywhere
even in the soules of his enemies.Now he studied her soul.
Now he felt her. Calm, accepting, whole. She no longer was the tormented girl he had met, she was the girl which lay beneath it all, the girl who could make his heart shatter by only one tear, by only one word, by only one look .
Kagome searched his eyes, searched them for disgust, hate, or pitty. She knew that now she could take all that, defeat it, but not from him, not from the one man which had brought her peace and quiet, tranquility.
Deep down though she knew she would never find such emotions in him, not towards her.
Blue locked with gold.
Each of the colors shining in the pale moon light.
Kagome spoke first.
"You stayed."Only two little words and yet to her they seemed essential.
His reply came in a soft and soothing tone.
"I did."
"You don't hate me for what I have done." It was no question it was a fact.
"You have done nothing and so I have no reason to hate you."
Kagome looked at him in fear, and he saw it and spoke again.
"Tell me, tell me your fears. I promise I will stay and help you defeat them , just like you defeated the fear of remembering the past."
Kagome was not about to let her newfound peace be tormented again so she started, started to tell him her deepest fears. If he would use them against her, she would lose, lose herself. But even so she would have had one moment of peace with him.
"I'm afraid of hoping, of hoping I have truly done nothing.
I'm afraid that if I hope and my hopes are nothing but lies I will lose myself again.
When I saw him there I let another live instead of me.
A person which only showed glimpses of my true self.
But now I'm back and I want to stay."
Sesshoumaru nodded but then decided to ask her.
"Why did you run?"
Kagome smiled a little , knowing he wouldn't let this go.
"When you kissed me you wanted to show me that I am yours and only yours."
Sesshoumaru nodded.
"Well in that moment I understood.
If I was yours , it ment that I had something to give you, something you had already taken. My soul.
Don't you understand? After my brother died and I had thought I did that to him , I promised that I would give him the most precious thing I had , to go with him, to keep him company , to never let him be alone.
And so I gave him my soul, and died.
But if you wanted my soul then I was alive, and if I was alive I was not going to let anyone else make me feel ...."
Kagome hated to say the word so she turned away, only to feel Sesshoumaru's fingers close around her chin and make her look back.
"You are alive and you are right I want you.
But I don't want only your soul, heart, mind or body.
I'm not someone who settels for less than all.
And I want all, all of you, and I want you as you are."
Kagome looked at him startled at first but then calmed down when she realised something.
"If you get to take my soul then what do I get?" she asked a little angry.
Great, the perfect time for the `don't fuck with me or I kill you`- Kagome to return.Well let's just see what she's going to be like after I answer.
"You get the total of the most perfect being in the whole world -me." He said in a mock-tone.
Kagome instantly got mad at him and wanted to hit me when she realised in what position they were in already.
Sesshoumaru saw her rage and blocked her blow and easily threw her on the bed with her back now to his chest.
"You ass-" Kagome was unable to continue because she felt how light open-mouthed kisses were planted on her neck.At first she stiffened but that only brought her a little bite on her skin. She instantly relaxed, knowing he would probably bite her worse if she didn't.
Sesshoumaru kissed her neck one last time, before gently blowing in her ear, making her shiwer in the process.
"Get accustomed to it you are mine.Now sleep."
Kagome wanted to turn but found that one of his hands had a death grip on her waist.
She sighed and let herself melt against him.
"You now you are mine as well."
Sesshouamru smirked and kissed her hair, thus letting her know neither statement was up to discussion.