InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ It's Not Over Yet... ❯ How does it feel? ( Chapter 13 )

I do not own the characters from Inuyasha.

Hey, everybody! Yeah, a sad one chapter 12 was, but this one reveals more on how both of our main characters feel about what was revealed about Katie's past. It will be in two parts, both mainly in first person perspective, until mentioned otherwise. Don't worry; I'm not planning on making every chapter that dismal. But once again, I will thank those close few friends who have inspired me to do what I enjoy doing now, and a very special thanks to those who review. Enjoy!

Chapter 13: How doesit feel?

As I make my way home, I'm feeling a mixture of emotions. Guilt, fear for Katie, and sheer bliss at the touch of her lips. All I can hope for was that I made her feel good after she revealed so much to me. To see her face that melancholy, makes me angry. She tried so hard not to allow that guy to break her, but it seems like he did in the end. If she was staring off into space and was afraid of being where she was because of those two bastards, then they both succeeded in the end. I know nothing but love for her. A love I could never explain. The way she makes me feel, it feels like I've been around her for forever. Why?

That day when I first saw her, something inside me awakened, it seemed. I can't explain it. She's so beautiful, so pure, and so kind towards others, even her enemies. She's even been strong through the toughest of situations. She stands tall and proud, but yet; she's not hard to approach. No matter what flaws she reveals, she's still the most beautiful girl to me. I've never met any other girl like her. How did I attract her? Do I truly deserve her? I don't know, not after what I've done. Of course, she doesn't know about my past.

When she told me about what those bastards did to her, I just wanted to seek them out and give them what for, but what would that do for an idiot who doesn't know his butt from a hole in the ground? Maybe what attracted them to do what they did is what has attracted me to her. Maybe it's her innocence. Nah, not that. She says how she feels straight out. She'll do what she must to get out of a sticky situation. Her purity? Hmmm…Maybe. I don't know. Whatever it is, it's not right to take advantage of it.

I will make sure that she knows my love for her is not needy, not boastful, and not greedy. She deserves so much more than I can give her. Why am I even trying to win her heart? She deserves better than even me. But one thing's for certain, I will not allow another man to touch her in any way that is offensive ever again. I will protect her from the jerks, the deviants, the molesters, and the cons. She deserves to be loved and loved well. I will treat her as well as I can. I will give my all to her, in the hopes she accepts me.

She has no idea how much I really love her, or even how long I've been in love with her. I have to tell her, but how? What if she says no? What if her heart is not open for me alone? Is she still hung up on Jason? Is she over him? She invited him to her sister's wedding. It's just too bad that we didn't keep in touch over the summer. I can't believe all that time wasted when we could have been together that whole time, and we could be further along than we are now. Why didn't we make the effort to keep in touch? Not knowing where she was the whole summer drove me and my buddy nuts the whole summer! Man, what I wouldn't give to be hers, and be loved by her for all eternity.

Wait! I can't believe I'm thinking that way already! How long have we known each other? Six months? And I'm already gone! Oh boy…I think she has stolen my heart because I can't lie to myself. What I can't figure out is why I feel so comfortable with her. From the first day we met `til now, I've felt this way about us. Why is that? It doesn't make sense. I am still afraid to show her where I live. I hope she doesn't ask anymore. She would surely run away if she saw where I live. In the most run down part of the West Side of Aurora. I'm so embarrassed by my home, my family, and my life outside of high school. Outside of hers. She's so innocent, so clean. And her family is the most wonderful family I've ever met. I love her dad, he's awesome. I don't get along with my dad. I love my mom, as well as hers. My sisters don't care about me, my brothers could care less. I only have one real friend, Ted.

Well, I can talk to Ted later, and ask him what he thinks about all this. I'm confused, and a bit angry about what's going on. I can't believe that I love her that much, so easily and so quickly. What do I do? How do I tell her? I don't want to scare her away. That's the last thing I wanna do. I want to know everything about her. I want more chances to kiss her soft lips. I want to hold her close and tell her that in my presence, she's safe. After that kiss we shared, and putting my all into that kiss, I don't think I could ever kiss another girl but her. Somehow, for some reason, I feel I could go through Hell for her happiness. I guess my heart is no longer mine.

{End of first person perspective}

Brian finally reached home and jumped off his bike. He walked it up to the garage, and opened the door and walked his bike inside to lean it up against the wall. Once he got outside and locked the door to the garage, he used his key to open the door to the house, and walked in. His father was no where in sight, but he saw his mother sitting in the recliner watching PAX TV. He decided to join her in the living room and sat on the couch by the window.

"Hey, Bri. How was your day at Katie's?" His mother asked as he let out a sigh.

"Oh, great. We had a good time. Her family's really nice. Her mom's a lot like you actually. You should meet them sometime. I think you guys would get along well. I'll tell ya what, though, I love her dad. He's a great man."

"Oh yeah? That's great! So, when am I gonna get the chance to meet this young lady of yours?" She asked with a wink and a smirk.

"I don't know. I don't want her to see where we live." Brian said as he turned his gaze to the TV.

"Why not? What's wrong with where we live? Is she rich or something?"

"No, I don't think she's rich. I think she's more middle class."

"Then what's the problem? If she's a good girl with a great heart and personality, why would you have a reason to be afraid to show her who you are?" His mother asked inquisitively.

"I just don't want to lose her, that's all. I'm just being careful." Brian said as he looked at his hands and started to fidget with his nails.

"Why don't you sleep on it, and see how you feel the next time you see her. I have a feeling things will be all right with her. You are a special young man, sweetheart. I don't think that any girl who has stolen your wonderful heart could ever treat you as someone less than I have ever treated you. I know that because she is the first girl you've ever shown interest in, and from what you've said, she's special in her own way." His mother said as she looked him in the eyes and smiled genuinely.

"Okay, thanks Mom. I really appreciate that. I love you. Goodnight, Mom" Brian said as he stood up and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Sweetie. I love you too." She said as she hugged and kissed him back.

He then walked into his small room off to the side of the kitchen, and saw that his younger brother still hadn't come back yet. He got himself undressed, and crawled into bed, turning out the light and drifted into sleep, dreaming of his girl across town.

Meanwhile across town…That very girl walked into her house and then to her room to get ready for bed. As she sat on her bed, in her pajamas, Katie started to think to herself about that past evening with Brian, and other things.

{First Person Perspective}

Wow, what a kiss! I mean, I've kissed guys before, but none of those kisses ever felt like that. It seemed like he put his soul into that kiss. My body tingled all over! I felt like I was gonna go limp! But, for some reason, it seemed like I knew that feeling. That kiss was everything I had ever hoped a first kiss would be. I thought he said he'd never kissed another girl before! That kiss suggests otherwise. Hmmm…Either way, I feel better than I did when I was telling him about my past. What compelled me to do that? The look on his face was familiar somehow. Why is it that everything I notice about him is familiar? What on earth is going on here? This is just too fishy, but I love him. He's just too good to me, and I've only known him for a short time. Strange.

I couldn't tell him the second part of that incident; it would anger him more than he already was. I could see it in his eyes. His eyes are so easy to read. I've never seen a pair of eyes that hid nothing. There was something there, something he was afraid of, what could it have been? He hasn't shown me or told me much about himself. He's mainly interested in me. It's been all about me, not him. Why is that? I wonder what he's trying to hide. It can't be that bad, whatever it is. He seems too nice. I don't know, but it looks like I need to get him to open up to me. Get him to get rid of the shyness. I honestly don't know how to judge others, least of all someone like Brian.

I had been so afraid of seeing that incident over again in my mind. I didn't want to see him again in my mind. What he said to me! I can't believe Lloyd or anyone would ever really say that to me! Oh God, just thinking about it is giving me the chills. Yes, I still shiver over it to this day, even though it was a few years ago. It was 6 years ago, and not sight of him since then, I don't know what that means, but someone like him could turn up anywhere, anytime. That's why I sleep with a wooden Softball bat called Big Ox next to my bed, and my dad's sword. He knows where I live, so I have to be careful. Someone like him would probably try anything. Once again, I wonder to myself, "Why me? What did I do?" *sigh* I don't know. All I know is that what he did was not right, and he has no right to break me, I must stay strong! But those memories will live with me forever.

{Flashback}

I had been staying at my buddy Charlotte's house, just down the street one weekend during the summer, a year later after the incident with Lloyd. She was not able to stay by me because her mother was afraid of her being away for long periods of time. So, I decided to stay overnight, and I had brought quite a few things with me. I decided to walk home on my own with my arms filled to the hilt with my Barbie case, my games and my bag I had brought with me filled to the brim with stuff, and my own pillow. I thought it was gonna be an easy walk home, like it usually was. Well, as I came around the corner off of Mulberry Ct, I had been walking a few steps when I noticed someone walking towards me on the other side of the street. I ignored it, thinking the guy and the kid were far enough away in distance to not worry.

Well, sadly to say, he suddenly crossed the street, and started walking towards me. I couldn't tell who it was by sight, since my eyes were not good at reading features from too far away at that point, so I kept on walking, but watched him intently. As I neared him, I heard him talking softly. When I got close enough, I saw who it was. It was Lloyd, but who the little boy was, I don't know to this day. Lloyd was walking on the curb for a few seconds, and then crossed onto the sidewalk. I stopped right then, hearing what he was saying clearly.

"Hey Katie, you know…you stood me up and I so badly wanted to show you a good time. I want to take you so badly. I wanna break you and make you mine, and feel you quiver under me. I wanna hear you scream my name in fear. I wanna feel you from the inside. You'll enjoy it when I get through with you. I wanna make you a woman. Will you make me a man, Katie? Please baby? C'mon, Baby. Come here, I need you so badly" Lloyd said as his eyes never left mine.

"No, Lloyd. Stop it! Leave me alone! Go away! I don't like you like that! Why do you think I avoid you? Leave me alone!!!!!"

I kept walking backwards as he kept walking towards me, his lips still saying those terrible things. I didn't know what to do. My hands were full and I have no where to run! I noticed movement off to my right, and I see the other sex offender looking and watching what's going on as I passed that same yard where the first incident took place when I was little. He gave me a look of fear, but didn't take his eyes off of me. As I got myself far enough away from Lloyd, I turned my back and started to run as fast as I could back to Charlotte's house.

A few seconds later, I heard the first offender yell, "Katie, he's running after you!"

I looked over my shoulder, and sure enough he was running towards me, and I screamed and ran even faster. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me! Once I reached the corner, I turned down Mulberry and ran a few more feet, then stopped to catch my breathe. I then ran up to the side of the house on the corner, and looked around to see if he was still coming. What I saw made me feel safe…He had stopped running, and turned the opposite direction. The first offender watched as he kept walking away, and I watched to see if my savior noticed I had stopped and come back. He turned and winked at me, then went back into his house. I decided I would thank him later, no matter what he did to me all those years ago.

I decided it was not safe for me to walk home alone. So I then walked back to Charlotte's house, and told her and her parents the situation and why I came back. They allowed me to call home to see if I could get picked up. I talked to my sister and she said she'd be on her way over. Once Tabitha got to the house, Charlotte and I walked with Tabitha back to my house. We didn't see anyone outside afterwards. I was so thankful that I was not alone that time, but I certainly became much more cautious about the situation of walking through the neighborhood alone, or even playing in the neighborhood alone.

Once I got back home, I told dad as to what had happened, and described what he looked like, and what he wore. Dad then took me with him in the Suburban and we perused the neighborhood looking for Lloyd. We never found him. Part of me was happy, and part of me was disappointed. I wanted to see what my dad would do if he saw him. I was so scared and angry that I wanted him to be punished for thinking about those things when it came to me, and threatening me with those thoughts. Why he would even think of coming back for more when I never gave him any intentions of saying I wanted him. I would have figured that just standing him up a year ago and then saying I would call the cops on him if he wouldn't leave the property would have given him a clue. Idiot.

{End of flashback}

I figured that if I had told Brian about the second part of that incident now, he would never allow me to walk home alone again, even though I'm more than capable to defend myself now. Well, maybe not with my asthma. I can't run for it without winding up falling flat on my face and passed out struggling to breathe. Not a good situation. Well, I'll tell him about it later. Right now, I think I've worried him enough. I'm just so lucky to have him in my life. I honestly don't know what I'd do if that guy hadn't saved me. To think, when I thanked him on my way back, he said the situation looked bad, and he didn't want to see me go through that. I definitely didn't expect that from him. Wonders never cease.

{End of first person perspective}

Katie then turned to her end table and set her alarm clock for the morning, and then walked up to the wall to switch on her noisy ceiling fan for comfort. As she did that, she flipped the switch to turn out the light, and then crawled into bed for a good night sleep, hopefully after all she had been thinking about. After those incidents she could never sleep in complete silence. She had to have noise otherwise she would wake up at every sound, thinking it was either an intruder, or Lloyd. She decided to run that noisy ceiling fan all year round after that year. Yes, she tried her best to remain strong after that, but she will have fears for the rest of her life.

As Katie finally fell into a deep sleep after about a half an hour of staring up at her ceiling decorated with glow-in-the-dark stars and planets, Duke then opened her cracked door and waltzed in quietly. He sniffed her face, and then walked to the vacant side of the bed and jumped in, cradling her back with his warm and furry back, giving her comfort so she'll sleep through the night.