InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ It's Not Over Yet... ❯ What?! ( Chapter 16 )

I do not own the characters from Inuyasha.

Well, here we are with another chappy! I know I have written one already this week, but if I don't update this weekend, then I will be a chapter behind `cuz the last chapter I released earlier this week was late already. So, like I said in the last one, this chappy is not meant to be a happy one… But it is definitely important to the plot. I'm just gonna get on my flame retardant, and spoiled veggie proof parka on, k? Thanks again for your support, and I certainly hope you won't get too mad at me…*cowers in the corner shivering*

Chapter 16: WHAT?!

Katie had been up all night. She hadn't slept in almost 24 hours. Something bothered her and she didn't know what to do. She was thinking about how she made Brian feel when she went bike riding with her ex, Jason. She hadn't heard from Jason in over a week, but she figured she'd give him some time, due to him living an hour away. She had to admit to herself how she felt when she saw him, and how they had a great time together when they went biking and they reminisced. She felt bad because she began to realize that night that no matter how much she felt for Brian, the feelings for Jason were still there.

Katie thought that after she had started going out with Brian she no longer felt the same for Jason. Well, that last meeting with him proved her wrong. She still loved him. What got her to rekindle those feelings was the fact that he obviously still had feelings for her. What really bothered her most was how she felt for Brian, and how sweet he was with her. Jason showed more of an adult love for her, whereas Brian was more tender, and kind. She was very confused, and she felt she couldn't decide on who she wanted to be with more.

They were both nice and wonderful young men, but her heart tried to give itself to both. It felt split in half. They were not the only young men in her life. There was also Scott and Brandon. They were close to Katie like brothers and sister; a threesome. Though she felt closer to Scott than anything else. Scott's house was the one she had pointed out that was close to Brian's house. She had been friends with Scott ever since her freshman year. At first, everyone thought she and Scott would get together. Scott had expressed his love for her in many different ways. He stood up for her, did almost everything with her during those years before she met and started dating both Jason and Brian. The only thing about Scott was due to his past he didn't have the guts to go further in their friendship.

Katie and Scott got along very well. Katie was the only girl Scott would ever have allowed to get close to him. He shared even his darkest secrets and desires with Katie. He couldn't say how he felt in words, but his actions proved evidence of his affections for her. She was also the only girl he would allow to touch him in any way. Even a simple hug from someone he didn't trust could be devastating to him. He had some bad experiences from his childhood that caused him to loose his trust in women and girls. Katie found him to be sweet and he showed her the utmost kindness.

When it came to Katie dating Brian, Scott didn't let it faze him. He decided to keep the relationship they already had strong. Whether or not Katie was with him or anybody else, the last thing he wanted to do was loose her. One thing that mattered the most to him was that she was safe, and she didn't get involved with anyone who was capable of hurting her. He had met Jason, and he certainly felt Jason was not worthy of Katie's heart. He just couldn't understand what it was Katie saw in the jerk. When he met Brian, he was a little leery of her dating a guy younger than her. The first thing that bothered him was that if they decided to be together, how would a `kid' take care of a beautiful woman like her? Humph…That's how every guy Katie knew felt. They all wanted to protect her; they all wanted to take care of her. She was beginning to feel like a prize.

No matter how all of them saw her, she didn't want to hurt any of them. She treasured all of them for their wonderful qualities. She knew they were all worth something in the end. She just didn't feel like she was anything to fight over. Why none of them could get along was beyond her. Even so, it ate at her how many guys were circled around her and part of her life. Only a couple of girls she knew remained close with her. All the other girls stayed at a distance, or remained as acquaintances. The guys were the closest to her. She began to think she was a guy magnet. She wasn't the prettiest girl her age, and certainly not the smartest in book smarts, but she did have plenty of common sense.

She didn't fight not being able to sleep, for it was a Saturday morning. She decided she would turn on her light, get her notebook and a pen, and write some poetry on the matter. She found writing to be a comfort when she was confused, upset, depressed or sad. It helped, especially at night when she couldn't sleep, and everyone else around her was asleep. It helped her to get strange thoughts and emotions out of her mind and off her chest. That was how she dealt with things. Writing the problems down on paper even helped her to figure out how to handle situations such as these.

Once she had been writing for about 20 minutes, she read the poem she had written, and figured out what it was she had to do. She didn't like the answer, but it turned out to be the only way. With her confusion of being torn between the affections of two wonderful men, she had to leave them both and clear her heart. How she learned this, was she was told about her great grandmother, Paulva's situation. Paulva was alive during the earthquake in San Francisco that killed a huge amount of people. She felt torn by two men. The one who ended up becoming Katie's great grandfather, and one who became a distant family member of Katie's. Paulva loved them both, but she knew she couldn't hurt them both by trying to keep them. So, she left for a while. She went to San Francisco to clear her mind, and decide who it was she was meant to give her heart to. While she was there, the earthquake happened. What helped her decide who to choose was the first name that came to her mind during those scary moments. It was Katie's great grandfather, they called him Dedda.

Katie decided she would do the same. Only difference, she didn't decide to go to California. She just decided to free her heart of both of them. She knew it was gonna hurt Brian more than anything else, but she felt as if she was cheating on him. She didn't have her heart back from Jason to give to him. She felt she was only offering part of herself. That was not fair to Brian since he was giving her all of himself. She decided that later that day, when they'd get together, she would tell him.

~*~

Well, Katie did finally fall asleep and she awoke in the early afternoon. When she awoke, she received a phone call from Brian. When she took hold of the receiver, she asked him to come by. She told him she had something very important to tell him. He accepted and came by within an hour. When he arrived, Katie's parents had already left to go to show. Katie let him in, and directed him to the living room couch. Brian noticed the solemn look on her face and new that what she was going to talk to him about was not good news.

"Brian, I have something I need to tell you. It's not easy for me to say this, but I have to, for you." Katie drawled out with a frown.

"Okay, what's wrong? Did I do something I shouldn't have? Does it have to with a couple of Saturdays ago?" Brian asked nervously, thinking he was in deep shit for touching her.

"Oh, no. Not about that. I'm glad that happened. Don't worry, you're not in trouble." Katie pointed out quickly.

"Well, then what is it? What's wrong?" Brian asked again as Katie looked down on her hands and began to peel her fingernails and bite her bottom lip.

"Well, it has everything to do with me. There's something you need to know." Katie replied as she raised her eyes to his. She saw how worried over the situation he was. To see his eyes like that saddened her, for she knew it was her fault for hurting him. "This is gonna sound really stupid to you, and you're probably gonna get really mad at me, but it's the truth and I have to tell you."

"Okay. I understand. Continue, I'm listening"

Katie didn't realize how hard it was going to be. She began to shake and cry. She took a deep breathe, closed her eyes and focused her mind for a moment. When she opened her eyes, making contact with his, she then felt ready to tell him. "Brian, I have had a lot of fun with you, and I'm very grateful for having you in my life. But…there's something about my heart that you don't know…"

"It's about Jason, isn't it?" Brian threw out, a look of anger in his eyes.

Katie looked into those pools of contempt dark brown and nodded. "I noticed something when he came by a couple weeks back. I noticed how I felt while I was with him. I know he has hurt me before, but honestly…my heart is not free to give to you. He still holds it, Brian. He still has feelings for me. I feel like an idiot for leading you on, but this is truly how I feel."

Brian stared into her eyes strongly for a second, closed them, and took a deep breathe to calm his nerves. He reached for her hands and then held them. The last thing he wanted was to blow up at her when she was being honest, even though that's how he truly felt. Betrayed. His eyes then rose to hers showing he was struggling with the news.

"Okay…So, what does that make us? Don't you realize we have something here? He left you! HE LEFT YOU! If anyone's the idiot here, it's HIM! I personally don't think he deserves you! I still remember everything you said he put you through! Why can't you understand that I've opened myself to you, shown you who I am with trust that you would not exploit it, or leave me? You said you wouldn't leave me after I told you. Little rich boy says he still likes you, and you turn away from the one who really loves you and was willing to lay everything he had down on the table for you! ALL FOR YOU! Not to be mean, Katie, but how do you know he's been faithful to you. How do you know he will remain faithful to you when he knows he could have any girl he wishes! I've seen his pictures, and I'll give you my opinion. You are worth more than him. He knows what he has. He flaunts it. He doesn't truly love you. I do." Brian let out as tears began to fall from his eyes at those last two words, `I do'. He showed her his true heart. He'd be darned if she turned his heart down for an idiot like Jason.

Katie began to cry. She knew she was wrong, but she couldn't help how her heart felt. She could never lie to herself just to sugar coat it for him. "You didn't let me finish. I can't lie to you, Brian. That's the last thing I could ever do. What I really meant to say was that I needed some time. Time to figure out where my heart belongs. I haven't chosen between you two. I realized that I couldn't at this point. I'm not leaving you in the dirt, Brian. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm asking of us is for us to just cool it a bit, and be friends, at least `til I figure out who I truly love. Okay? I do love you, but I've loved Jason for years, Brian. I've had a crush on him since junior high because he was soo sweet, and he was then only guy who was not a jerk to me! He stood up for me back then! He cared about me! He still does! Yeah we live far apart, but he makes the effort to come out. Please understand. There's a reason why he keeps coming back. He must be comparing the girls out by him to me, and he realizes every time he can't! Doesn't he deserve another chance?" Katie said pleadingly.

"So, you want me to give up my time with you just so you can pine over him being gone? So you can wait by the phone and try to play phone tag with someone whom you can't see everyday? That's not a relationship, its slavery. You deserve better than that. Believe me, Katie. I can give you better than he ever could. I Love You!" Brian said with more intent.

"I know you do. That's why I'm being forward with you. I don't want to lead you on any further. I'm confused, okay. Please, forgive me. I knew this would hurt you, but I don't want to loose you. I still need you, Brian." Katie said between sobs.

"I need you too. But you obviously don't understand my needs. You don't know me. You don't know what you've done for me, or what you mean to me! To set me aside for an idiot who doesn't truly understand what you're worth as a woman! All he sees you for is how gorgeous you'd look under him." Brian said accenting the word `under'.

Katie gasped at those words. She had wondered about Jason's intent. She didn't want to assume she knew anything. No matter whose turn it was with her, she wanted to be true to the one she was with at the time. That's what she had been taught and raised to believe in. Faithfulness was major to her. The last thing she wanted was to cheat or to commit adultery because she couldn't give her heart completely to one man. Wasn't it enough that she was being open about her feelings and not sneaking behind his back?

Brian took a deep breathe once again and collected himself and set his anger aside. He looked her in the eye and gave her his full attention. She was right in that last comment. She was afraid of how he'd react, but she was strong enough to tell him to his face how she felt and what was going on. That and she weren't putting any blame on him. The fact she came out strongly about her confusion gave him a bit of comfort. She wasn't a sneak who would try to solve the problem herself behind his back and try to make it sound innocent. She DIDN'T want to cheat on him. Just thinking about that gave him the strength to make the next decision.

"Okay. What's gonna happen here is I will remain by your side. You're confused, so I'll be here for support for you. You have been honest with me and you don't want to hurt me. In understand where you're coming from. You weren't foolish in telling me how you feel, so I will not be a fool either. I love you. That's all that matters to me. I can't loose you, so I won't. Just don't forget through all this that I'm not giving up, and he's infringing on MY time with you. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I'll cool it as far as the making out and everything, no matter how hard that'll be for me. I'd do anything for you, Katie. I've loved you ever since the first day we met, and I'm not gonna be stupid about this." Brian answered her plea without a flinch in his eyes. He made sure she saw how he truly felt and that he would go through fire for her.

Katie's tears fell to their hands as she realized she still had his heart to comfort her through the storm. At that moment, she didn't care who she ended up with in the end. She had a wonderful man at her side to see her through any trial. No matter how stupid, how hard the trial may be, but he will stand by her even if he's hurt. All she wanted right then was a hug. She smiled and reached her arms forward, wrapping them around his neck, holding him tightly to her. She wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, his heart beating close to hers. He truly was a wonderful soul. How she caught his eye will forever be a mystery to her, but she was grateful for his love and devotion.

~*~

After that November Saturday, Katie and Brian remained close and they still did things together as close friends. They did not kiss, but they did hug and hold each other. Katie began to realize that she did need his comfort to the point where she felt she needed to be nowhere but in his arms. The next few weeks were long, but they got through them together.

As Christmas came along, Katie's family had planned their Christmas get together with her father's side on Friday, December 22. Since it was the Linden's turn to host the family get together, Katie invited Brian by to meet her family. She figured that she would be bored later on in the party anyways. Also, since they planned to celebrate Katie's 18th birthday, she figured he could celebrate it with her while the family was schmoozing. Katie visited with the family a bit, but spent most of her time with Brian. That night they talked more about how her heart felt. They decided to find refuge out in the garage, Katie in Brian's arms, her arms wrapped around his waist under his coat to keep warm.

"So, how is it going with your decision about us?" Brian inquired as they swayed together.

"Well, I haven't heard from Jason in a little while. The last time I saw him was before we talked. I'm beginning to call him a fair weather friend. I don't know when he's gonna be out, or when I'll be able to catch him at home with phone tag. He's been `it' for a while now." Katie replied as she listened to his steady heartbeat.

"Oh. I don't think he realizes what he has, or used to have for that matter. I'm sorry about that. I'd still love to kick his ass for treating you like garbage." Brian replied as he held her tighter and closer to him. Katie tightened her grip on him as well.

"I know. I don't know what to think right now. I don't know why I was soo confused before. I feel like an idiot." Katie replied as her eyes began to tear.

"No, you're not. He's played you one time too many. I can understand now what that could be like to have your heart played like a card in a game of poker. You're more than that to me, and you always will be." Brian said as he grabbed her chin and lifted her head to face his. "I may feel that way about Jason, but I am behind you and I will always be here for you. I don't want to be anywhere else. I don't even want to leave you at night. I love it here where you are."

As he said those last words, he got lost in her eyes. So lost he didn't realize his lips inching closer to hers until they touched. He didn't end the kiss either. He had missed her kiss for soo long. The kiss was deep and full of passion. It felt like they had become one in that kiss with his coat wrapped around the two of them. It was as if the coat was their barrier to the world. Nothing could separate them, not even Katie's father coming out into the garage to get a screwdriver for the extra table. They were oblivious to everything until Katie's dad slammed the door shut as he went inside, just to scare them.

"Ah!" Katie screamed and jumped as her head accidentally hit Brian's nose. Brian let go of her and held his nose for just a second. "Oh no! Are you okay? I'm soo sorry!"

"Yeah, I'm alright. Who was that?" Brian asked.

"Uh…I think that may have been my dad. Shoot! I think he saw us kissing!" Katie exclaimed as her face got really red.

"Oh…Crap…Uh…Does he know we separated?" Brian asked sheepishly.

"Yeah. I wonder if he thinks we're back together again." Katie answered looking down at the floor.

"Well, are we?" Brian asked.

Katie looked up at him suddenly in surprise. She hadn't expected that kiss. "Well, um…I…*sigh*" Her gaze fell to the floor again.

Brian walked up to her as she leaned her back up to the hood of the suburban. He lifted her chin to gain eye contact to see what she was thinking. What he saw was confusion and a bit of fear. The fear astounded him. He couldn't understand why she would be afraid. He then grabbed his coat again and wrapped it around her along with his arms, and she wrapped her arms around his waist as they were before. Brian decided not to question their relationship again, at least not for a while. He was just content to have her in his arms, where she belonged.

*Ducks from thrown veggies* Dude! I swear! I was stupid, okay? *Ducks from full bottled water* Oi! It's okay! The next one will be a happy one! *Smack*…*Keels over on stage*….*Still out cold*…(whispers from audience) *Dude…I think you killed her…*…*Oops…Didn't mean to…*…*So…What now?*…*Uh…runaway*…*Okay…*