InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kagome's Realization ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 4 )

Inuyasha watched silently from his perch in the tree as Kagome was the first to wake. With closed eyes he watched her stretch and then sigh a few times before finally getting out of her backpack, stood and observe her sleeping friends.

Kagome eyed each of her friends as they lay sleeping peaceful. After her nightmare last night she thought it best to leave them be for just a bit longer to make up for it. When she looked up to where Inuyasha was, she ignored his pretense at sleep and smiled brightly and quietly, so only he could hear, said. "Good morning. I am going to go to the creek and wash up before I start breakfast. Okay?" Kagome patiently waited for Inuyasha to relent and show some sign of hearing her, which he did, eventually, with a "feh".

Good enough, she smiled as she turned and headed in the direction of the cold creek water to wash her face and hands before starting the morning meal for everyone. The water was chilling as Kagome stuck her hands in it and bravely splashed some on her face. She let it remind her that Inuyasha's show of affection may not carry over to daylight hours and she might keep her feelings from being hurt if she just act normal and leave it to Inuyasha to make the next move. He might lash out in the wrong way if I try to push it and end up making him feel embarrassed, Kagome reasoned as she splashed herself again with the cold water.

Feeling wide awake and slightly chilled Kagome hurriedly made her way back to camp and set about making Ramen for herself and her comrades. One by one they all awake to the sounds and smell of breakfast and like Kagome excused themselves to brave the cold creek. Inuyasha took this as a chance to ask Kagome, without an audience this time, if she was feeling okay.

"Yo?" He said softly after the quietly jumped down to the ground, his `yo' making Kagome jump slightly and turn around. "Are you feeling better? You seemed really upset by that dream."

Kagome pinked at the reminder of her reaction to being woke up by Inuyasha. She couldn't help it though, her dream was so real to her and Inuyasha's attempts to wake her up by shaking her shoulder made it's way into her dream, but it wasn't Inuyasha in her dream, and brought her out of her dream screaming just like she was in her mind. She really had to get a grip, she never would have thought that coming to terms with what life was like for him would cause her to have nightmares of something like that happening to her. For that was what she dreamed, that she was alone and unwanted and being harassed and chased by the townspeople, telling to her go away and disappear while she tried to deal with pain of losing her loved ones and the fact that she now had only herself depend on, and it made her feel angry. She could completely see how such a life would live her bitter and untrusting of others. Kagome was snapped out of her thoughts when Inuyasha clapped his hands together in front of her.

"That is what I am talking about, Kagome. You need to just let it go." Inuyasha said in a pleading voice. He saw her look and he didn't like it. It felt familiar and he didn't like Kagome feeling any of the things that he felt growing up. "Your putting yourself in my place and you shouldn't do that. As it is, it doesn't seem like your handling it well. I don't need you feeling sorry to me to the point that it's disturbing you even in your sleep."

Kagome let out a short laugh, "I know. I have not been acting like myself and if it weren't for the fact that I now have to write a paper on the feelings that the song gave me maybe it wouldn't bother me so much. And I don't mean to give you the impression that I am feeling sorry for you or pity for you. Well, I mean I do feel sorry that you had to endure such treatment or so long but I don't pity you for it. I admire the fact that you've able to survive so long by yourself, I don't think that I could or would."

"That's what I am talking about. It feels wrong to me, that you are putting yourself in my place." Inuyasha said, hating to hear that he was right in thinking that it was really troubling her what happened to him.

"It's called empathy, Inuyasha. And there isn't anything wrong with it, new understandings come from empathy, or at least that's what I remember my dad saying, but then I was only 4 so who knows if I am even remembering it right but that's how I feel." Kagome said.

"Well, stop it. Your drawing worried attention to yourself and waking up screaming in the middle of the night. No one, especially me, wants to see such things happening to you. So write your paper and just forget about it." Inuyasha said with one of the few truly serious expressions that Kagome ever saw.

"I am afraid that isn't possible, Inuyasha." Kagome said with a small smile.

"Why?" Inuyasha asked exasperated, throwing his hands up in the air.

But before Kagome could answer, Sango, Shippo, Miroku, and Kirara returned from the creek.

"Sorry, if we took so long, it took us a while to be able to actually put our hands in such cold water and then splash our faces in it." Sango said, laughing softly remembering Shippo deciding that he would be the bravest by going first and how he squealed with the initial shock of it.

Kagome gave one last meaningful look to Inuyasha then turned her smiling attention to her other friends. "Yes, I could imagine, I had a hard time of it myself but I just did it and got it over with so I could get breakfast ready for you all. Please, everybody, take a seat and breakfast will be ready soon." And Kagome focused all her thoughts and energy on making breakfast. Soon everyone was enjoying their own bowl of Ramen.

"How are you feeling this morning, Kagome-sama?" Miroku said in between bites.

"Fine. And since your brought it up Miroku, I wish to apologize to you and Sango for waking you up the way I did last night. My sleep hasn't been too peaceful the last few nights but I am hoping to put that behind me and not scare any of you awake again." Kagome said, setting her now empty bowl down and clasping her hands together on her lap.

"It's okay. We were just worried about you, that's all." Sango said, hoping that the others would take the hint and leave her alone.

"Don't worry. Forget it. It's nothing, I promise." Kagome said, taking a peek at Inuyasha, who if she didn't know better, was ignoring them and wolfing down his favorite kind of Ramen, which Kagome bought just for him. When he was finished he too put down his empty bowl.

"Eat up you guys, we got a lot of walking to do today if we are going to get anywhere close to catching up to Naraku." Inuyasha reminded them.

Yes Naraku, Kagome thought. My homework has me forgetting almost everything that I really need to be focusing on. Maybe Inuyasha was right. Maybe she was letting her feelings and realizations get the best of her. Maybe she was showing more pity than compassion and understanding. Maybe. With that last thought Kagome got to her feet and set about gathering her sleeping bag and her backpack, unknown to Kagome was the fact that she was being considered thoughtfully by our favorite hanyou.

Maybe I was too harsh on her, thought Inuyasha. Who was he to tell Kagome what she could and could not feel? It's not like it ever stopped her in the past. Maybe he was wrong to deny her and himself the compassion and understanding and more over the acceptance that such a realization could give to not only his life but hers as well. Granted at the moment it only gave her nightmares but beyond the frightful thoughts and over dramatized images was a connection that just might make the bond between them stronger. Maybe.