InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kagome's Realization ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Chelsfanfiction 
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Mystery / Romance / Suspense / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.19.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 569 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Mystery / Romance / Suspense / Angst | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.19.2007 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 569 | Status: Completed
Kagome sat quietly with tears in her eyes as she struggled with the unexpected emotions that had now arisen from her class assignment. Music Appreciation was turning out to be more than she had first expected. Easy class, she had thought, it'll be something simple that I can do while I am in the other world. She had been surprised when her first assignment was to listen to and consider a song. The only time she could really do that would be on the other side of the well and she didn't think it a good idea to take a portable CD player, because most likely it would get demolished easily if anything else happened to her backpack. Nonetheless one night Kagome found an opportune time to listen to the assigned song, which was Michael Jackson's "Beat It", and so she did with paper and pencil in hand. Kagome had heard the song once before but never really considered it; she was younger when the song first came out so she was never really exposed to it. Words from the song flooded Kagome's mind and she flinched as she felt fresh tears rise.
They told him "Don't you ever come around here Don't want to see your face you better disappear The fires in their eyes, their words are really clear So beat it, just beat it
You better run, you better do what you can Don't want to see no blood, don't be a macho man You wanna be tough, better do what you can so beat it but you want to be bad Beat it; no one wants to be defeated It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right
Their out to get you better leave while you can Don't want to be a boy want to be a man You want to stay alive better do what you can so beat it You have to show them that you're really not scared Your playing with your life this ain't no truth or dare Their kick you, then their beat you, then their tell you it's fair So beat, just beat it but you want to be bad
When she first heard the song she couldn't believe how heart broken she felt for the poor boy in the song and when she looked around to see if anybody was seeing her on the point of tears her eyes landed on Inuyasha. Then she really felt like crying, this must be how he felt, after his mother died she thought as she looked at him, her eyes blurring from the tears. She had to get out of there and fast. Kagome quickly put her pencil and paper and her walkman back into her backpack and trying not to draw attention to herself left Keada's cottage to clear her thoughts and her now red eyes.
She walked quickly and quietly as she wiped her eyes and willed herself not to cry as she had thoughts about what life was truly like for her best friend and her love, Inuyasha. To be so hated because he was different, to have to deal with such hostility at a young age was what made her heart tighten, she knew that Inuyasha was just a child when his mother passed away. His father was already dead and his brother wished to have nothing to do with the mutt so he left Inuyasha to fend for himself and so he did. Finding his own food and shelter, being his own company and dealing with the fact that he was hated by all and was a complete individual due to his birthrights. Which was really a shame considering that he was the youngest son to the passed Lord of the Western Lands and the younger brother to the current Lord of the Western Lands. Hatred towards Sesshomaru swept through Kagome's veins, had Sesshomaru done right by his brother and protected him from the cruelties of the world and thought him how to fend for himself as coolly and as calmly as he did than maybe Inuyasha would have a more stable place in his life. Less hatred, some form of acceptance. Kagome thought of Rin, surely the fact that he had a human with him wasn't unknown to people that he knew but he took care of her anyway, and Kagome suspected had a soft heart for the young human child. The thought calmed her blood a little, maybe there was hope for him yet but the way he treated his brother was just beyond terrible. When Kagome found she standing in front of the Bone Eater's Well she sat down next to it and had a good cry for Inuyasha using the well as a shoulder to cry on.
Some minutes passed before Kagome stopped crying and sat down on the mouth of the well. Throughout her thought process she found comfort in the fact that Inuyasha now had friends that he could rely on; Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Keade, Kirara, and herself, but when she got to herself she stopped cold as a realization hit her. Does he truly always have me to rely on, while the hunt for the jewel shards was still going on she was sure of it but she hadn't stopped to really think about, what then. If she purified the jewel and made it disappear, then her link to both worlds would be broken because she had to be in possession of at least a jewel shard to go back and forth. As Inuyasha taking her shards and sending her home after his fight with his brother showed her. How could she purify the jewel was her next question. What wish could possibly make it disappear without it requiring a half demon to turn human on it? Would Inuyasha's wish to become full demon make it disappear?
Kagome found she didn't like the new thoughts that she was now considering. The uncertainty of her future with Inuyasha, then there was also the fact that he promised to go to hell with Kikyo, did she even have a future to consider? After Naraku was defeated was that the end of things? Would Inuyasha realize that since he is going to hell with Kikyo he might as well purify the jewel for the sack of the rest of the world by becoming human before he goes? And this was how Inuyasha found Kagome, looking off into space with a heartbreaking look in her eyes he couldn't read.
When Kagome had pulled her "walkman" as she called it, out of her bag Inuyasha was immediately interested though he tried his best to not let it show, but "feh" it once he learned that Kagome was using it to do her homework and took to taking himself to a corner and observing his comrades from a distance, while he pretended to look out the window. He could hear music and words Kagome from the contraption sitting on top of Kagome's head but couldn't make out exactly what was being said. He thought, at first, that maybe she just didn't have it loud enough for him to understand but soon realized it was because the words were not Japanese. He pondered on what kind of place would give people things to do in a language they didn't speak but upon observing Kagome she didn't seem to have that problem so he figured it was the type of place that knew she would understand it.
Inuyasha didn't give Kagome's homework more thought when a slap rang clear the hut, signifying that Miroku's hand got to close to Sango's butt so she hit him and watched as the perverted monk tried to proclaim his innocence.
"Honestly, Sango, I wasn't trying to touch you, I was simply trying to adjust my sitting position." Miroku said as he palmed his red hand imprinted cheek.
"You shouldn't be sitting so close anyway. Move over, there is plenty of room.." but the rest of Sango's words were lost to Inuyasha as he smelled the faint hint of tears in the air. He sniffed again to make sure he was smelling things and caught a whiff of Kagome intermingled with the tears. Looking over at her, he saw her putting her things away and sneaking out the door. What on earth could she be crying about? Inuyasha pondered and decided that maybe it was just a woman thing and would leave her be assuming that she would be back in a few moments, after she had collected herself. When moments started turning into minutes Inuyasha started to get slightly worried. Could it be her homework made her cry? Surely that was it, no one had done anything to her before she started to listen to her music and no one even spoke to her or looked at her once she started it.
Inuyasha walked outside and smelled the air for the direction that Kagome had taken. He almost became panicked when he realized that she went in the direction of the well. She just got back after being gone for three days already, what could have made her run home? So Inuyasha took off after her intending on bringing her back, he was finally relaxing now that she was with him again and the fact that she took off in tears didn't sit well with him. He stopped when he saw her sitting on the mouth of the well and slowly walked to rest of the distance, so if she saw him she wouldn't think he was running after her, how would that look? But he worried for her safety when he approached her and didn't seem to be aware of it but the look on her face was what really caught his attention. It was almost unreadable but it was incredibly sad and heartbreaking that he had to fight the urge to close the distance between them and embrace her.
"Yo" Was all he could think to say as he watched her snap out of her thoughts.
"Inuyasha." Kagome breathed. "What are you doing out her?" She asked with a stronger voice.
"I came see what you are doing out here, are you okay?" Inuyasha sat down by her on the well. "You left without telling anyone. Even if it is the village we are at it isn't safe to go off on your own without anyone knowing." He scolded, but not to harshly, she didn't look like she could take much of that. "I know and I am sorry, I didn't mean to do that it just sort of happened." Kagome said as she wiped her face with her hands and tried to give Inuyasha a brave and bright smile.
"What happened?" He probed, he was really worried about her, and it smelled as if the tears he smelt earlier was nothing compared to the cry he missed.
"The song I was listening to wasn't what I expected is all. I was just out here thinking about it. Seeing as I didn't tell anyone that I left why don't we go back so no one worries, neh?" She said hoping that he would drop it and leave her be but something in his eyes told her that wouldn't happen. Could she really tell him what she was felling and thinking and what caused it? She could tell him but would he react in a mature way and not call her stupid?
"Was it a sad song? You were crying. Don't shake your head no I can smell it on you, Kagome." Inuyasha stated, had she forgotten his keen nose.
Damn that nose of his, Kagome thought. Well he wants the truth let him have it, Kagome's conscious goaded her. "Alright, Inuyasha, since you want to know. Yes, the song I was listening to was sad. Without knowing it would, the song made me think of you. It was about a boy who wasn't wanted so he had to be strong so that he could survive on his own. I thought of you after a few minutes, I saw you sitting by the window and it made me think how you to be strong willed to live and survive on your own the way that you have since your mother passed and you were alone. I ..." Kagome couldn't finish her sentence as she watched Inuyasha absorb what she was telling him.
"You were crying because of me? Because the song that you were listening too reminded you of me?" He couldn't believe it; Kagome was really unlike anyone he ever meet. Besides his mother, no one ever cried because of or for him and this was not the first time that she had cried for him. The thought that Kagome cared enough to bother crying for him made his heart soften more towards her.
"Yes." Kagome said quietly.
"I did have to be strong to survive. I didn't have a choice, it was either do what I had to do or do nothing but wallow in self-pity and starve to death. The first time I slept in a tree was the night after my mother died and I have been doing it ever since. You don't have to cry for the life that I have had to leave, Kagome." Inuyasha was surprised at himself for not calling her stupid and shrugging off what she said but he felt that he could confide in her and find acceptance and understanding from her.
Kagome on the other hand was beyond words at the revelation that Inuyasha made. She couldn't believe that he was confiding in her about his past and telling her not to feel sorry for him. "I know that I don't have to cry over the life that you have had but it makes me sad to think that I had love and acceptance where you didn't. I would be saddened if that were the case for anyone that I truly care about. And I care that you were not happy growing up and that you were alone. I care about that Inuyasha because I want you to be happy and to be able to move past the anger that also came with you having to be strong to survive the hatred of the world that wouldn't accept you. But you have acceptance now you know, we accept you as you are and care about what happens to you." Kagome had to force herself to stop, the rate she was going she was going to tell him that she loved him and now was really not the time.
"I know, Kagome. I know." And with that he stood and offered his hand out to her. "Let's go back, I am sure that the others are wondering what happened to us."
Kagome looked at Inuyasha's outstretched hand and up at Inuyasha and saw contentment in his features and it brought a genuine smile to her face as she took his offered hand. "Yes, lets." And they walked back to Keade's hut hand in hand.
They told him "Don't you ever come around here Don't want to see your face you better disappear The fires in their eyes, their words are really clear So beat it, just beat it
You better run, you better do what you can Don't want to see no blood, don't be a macho man You wanna be tough, better do what you can so beat it but you want to be bad Beat it; no one wants to be defeated It doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right
Their out to get you better leave while you can Don't want to be a boy want to be a man You want to stay alive better do what you can so beat it You have to show them that you're really not scared Your playing with your life this ain't no truth or dare Their kick you, then their beat you, then their tell you it's fair So beat, just beat it but you want to be bad
When she first heard the song she couldn't believe how heart broken she felt for the poor boy in the song and when she looked around to see if anybody was seeing her on the point of tears her eyes landed on Inuyasha. Then she really felt like crying, this must be how he felt, after his mother died she thought as she looked at him, her eyes blurring from the tears. She had to get out of there and fast. Kagome quickly put her pencil and paper and her walkman back into her backpack and trying not to draw attention to herself left Keada's cottage to clear her thoughts and her now red eyes.
She walked quickly and quietly as she wiped her eyes and willed herself not to cry as she had thoughts about what life was truly like for her best friend and her love, Inuyasha. To be so hated because he was different, to have to deal with such hostility at a young age was what made her heart tighten, she knew that Inuyasha was just a child when his mother passed away. His father was already dead and his brother wished to have nothing to do with the mutt so he left Inuyasha to fend for himself and so he did. Finding his own food and shelter, being his own company and dealing with the fact that he was hated by all and was a complete individual due to his birthrights. Which was really a shame considering that he was the youngest son to the passed Lord of the Western Lands and the younger brother to the current Lord of the Western Lands. Hatred towards Sesshomaru swept through Kagome's veins, had Sesshomaru done right by his brother and protected him from the cruelties of the world and thought him how to fend for himself as coolly and as calmly as he did than maybe Inuyasha would have a more stable place in his life. Less hatred, some form of acceptance. Kagome thought of Rin, surely the fact that he had a human with him wasn't unknown to people that he knew but he took care of her anyway, and Kagome suspected had a soft heart for the young human child. The thought calmed her blood a little, maybe there was hope for him yet but the way he treated his brother was just beyond terrible. When Kagome found she standing in front of the Bone Eater's Well she sat down next to it and had a good cry for Inuyasha using the well as a shoulder to cry on.
Some minutes passed before Kagome stopped crying and sat down on the mouth of the well. Throughout her thought process she found comfort in the fact that Inuyasha now had friends that he could rely on; Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Keade, Kirara, and herself, but when she got to herself she stopped cold as a realization hit her. Does he truly always have me to rely on, while the hunt for the jewel shards was still going on she was sure of it but she hadn't stopped to really think about, what then. If she purified the jewel and made it disappear, then her link to both worlds would be broken because she had to be in possession of at least a jewel shard to go back and forth. As Inuyasha taking her shards and sending her home after his fight with his brother showed her. How could she purify the jewel was her next question. What wish could possibly make it disappear without it requiring a half demon to turn human on it? Would Inuyasha's wish to become full demon make it disappear?
Kagome found she didn't like the new thoughts that she was now considering. The uncertainty of her future with Inuyasha, then there was also the fact that he promised to go to hell with Kikyo, did she even have a future to consider? After Naraku was defeated was that the end of things? Would Inuyasha realize that since he is going to hell with Kikyo he might as well purify the jewel for the sack of the rest of the world by becoming human before he goes? And this was how Inuyasha found Kagome, looking off into space with a heartbreaking look in her eyes he couldn't read.
When Kagome had pulled her "walkman" as she called it, out of her bag Inuyasha was immediately interested though he tried his best to not let it show, but "feh" it once he learned that Kagome was using it to do her homework and took to taking himself to a corner and observing his comrades from a distance, while he pretended to look out the window. He could hear music and words Kagome from the contraption sitting on top of Kagome's head but couldn't make out exactly what was being said. He thought, at first, that maybe she just didn't have it loud enough for him to understand but soon realized it was because the words were not Japanese. He pondered on what kind of place would give people things to do in a language they didn't speak but upon observing Kagome she didn't seem to have that problem so he figured it was the type of place that knew she would understand it.
Inuyasha didn't give Kagome's homework more thought when a slap rang clear the hut, signifying that Miroku's hand got to close to Sango's butt so she hit him and watched as the perverted monk tried to proclaim his innocence.
"Honestly, Sango, I wasn't trying to touch you, I was simply trying to adjust my sitting position." Miroku said as he palmed his red hand imprinted cheek.
"You shouldn't be sitting so close anyway. Move over, there is plenty of room.." but the rest of Sango's words were lost to Inuyasha as he smelled the faint hint of tears in the air. He sniffed again to make sure he was smelling things and caught a whiff of Kagome intermingled with the tears. Looking over at her, he saw her putting her things away and sneaking out the door. What on earth could she be crying about? Inuyasha pondered and decided that maybe it was just a woman thing and would leave her be assuming that she would be back in a few moments, after she had collected herself. When moments started turning into minutes Inuyasha started to get slightly worried. Could it be her homework made her cry? Surely that was it, no one had done anything to her before she started to listen to her music and no one even spoke to her or looked at her once she started it.
Inuyasha walked outside and smelled the air for the direction that Kagome had taken. He almost became panicked when he realized that she went in the direction of the well. She just got back after being gone for three days already, what could have made her run home? So Inuyasha took off after her intending on bringing her back, he was finally relaxing now that she was with him again and the fact that she took off in tears didn't sit well with him. He stopped when he saw her sitting on the mouth of the well and slowly walked to rest of the distance, so if she saw him she wouldn't think he was running after her, how would that look? But he worried for her safety when he approached her and didn't seem to be aware of it but the look on her face was what really caught his attention. It was almost unreadable but it was incredibly sad and heartbreaking that he had to fight the urge to close the distance between them and embrace her.
"Yo" Was all he could think to say as he watched her snap out of her thoughts.
"Inuyasha." Kagome breathed. "What are you doing out her?" She asked with a stronger voice.
"I came see what you are doing out here, are you okay?" Inuyasha sat down by her on the well. "You left without telling anyone. Even if it is the village we are at it isn't safe to go off on your own without anyone knowing." He scolded, but not to harshly, she didn't look like she could take much of that. "I know and I am sorry, I didn't mean to do that it just sort of happened." Kagome said as she wiped her face with her hands and tried to give Inuyasha a brave and bright smile.
"What happened?" He probed, he was really worried about her, and it smelled as if the tears he smelt earlier was nothing compared to the cry he missed.
"The song I was listening to wasn't what I expected is all. I was just out here thinking about it. Seeing as I didn't tell anyone that I left why don't we go back so no one worries, neh?" She said hoping that he would drop it and leave her be but something in his eyes told her that wouldn't happen. Could she really tell him what she was felling and thinking and what caused it? She could tell him but would he react in a mature way and not call her stupid?
"Was it a sad song? You were crying. Don't shake your head no I can smell it on you, Kagome." Inuyasha stated, had she forgotten his keen nose.
Damn that nose of his, Kagome thought. Well he wants the truth let him have it, Kagome's conscious goaded her. "Alright, Inuyasha, since you want to know. Yes, the song I was listening to was sad. Without knowing it would, the song made me think of you. It was about a boy who wasn't wanted so he had to be strong so that he could survive on his own. I thought of you after a few minutes, I saw you sitting by the window and it made me think how you to be strong willed to live and survive on your own the way that you have since your mother passed and you were alone. I ..." Kagome couldn't finish her sentence as she watched Inuyasha absorb what she was telling him.
"You were crying because of me? Because the song that you were listening too reminded you of me?" He couldn't believe it; Kagome was really unlike anyone he ever meet. Besides his mother, no one ever cried because of or for him and this was not the first time that she had cried for him. The thought that Kagome cared enough to bother crying for him made his heart soften more towards her.
"Yes." Kagome said quietly.
"I did have to be strong to survive. I didn't have a choice, it was either do what I had to do or do nothing but wallow in self-pity and starve to death. The first time I slept in a tree was the night after my mother died and I have been doing it ever since. You don't have to cry for the life that I have had to leave, Kagome." Inuyasha was surprised at himself for not calling her stupid and shrugging off what she said but he felt that he could confide in her and find acceptance and understanding from her.
Kagome on the other hand was beyond words at the revelation that Inuyasha made. She couldn't believe that he was confiding in her about his past and telling her not to feel sorry for him. "I know that I don't have to cry over the life that you have had but it makes me sad to think that I had love and acceptance where you didn't. I would be saddened if that were the case for anyone that I truly care about. And I care that you were not happy growing up and that you were alone. I care about that Inuyasha because I want you to be happy and to be able to move past the anger that also came with you having to be strong to survive the hatred of the world that wouldn't accept you. But you have acceptance now you know, we accept you as you are and care about what happens to you." Kagome had to force herself to stop, the rate she was going she was going to tell him that she loved him and now was really not the time.
"I know, Kagome. I know." And with that he stood and offered his hand out to her. "Let's go back, I am sure that the others are wondering what happened to us."
Kagome looked at Inuyasha's outstretched hand and up at Inuyasha and saw contentment in his features and it brought a genuine smile to her face as she took his offered hand. "Yes, lets." And they walked back to Keade's hut hand in hand.