InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kagome's things that all girls need to know ❯ chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Kagome's Twelve things that all girls need to know

By: Neo Staff

 

Kagome: “Hello again everyone! It's me again! I've made another book…more things that all girls need to know!”

 

Inuyasha: “Oh great…not again…”

 

Kagome: “Whats that suppose to mean, Inuyasha?”

 

Inuyasha: “Exactly as it sounds…not…again…you suck at these.”

 

Kagome: “Sit boy!”

 

Inuyasha, muffled by the ground his face has just slammed into: “B----.”

 

Kagome: “Hmmm? What was that?”

 

Inuyasha: “…”

 

Kagome: “That's what I thought.”

 

Shippou: “Kagome! Can I read the new book? You said I could read the last one…but I never got to!”

 

Kagome: “Shippou, I read you the last book…remember?”

 

Shippou: “Yeah…but there were still pages that I didn't get to read.”

Kagome: “Oh…those…those were…uh…um…a preview into this book!”

 

Shippou: “Oh…can I read this one then?”

 

Kagome: “Um…I would let you, Shippou…but I'm going to read it, ok?”

 

Shippou: “Fine…be that way.”

 

Sango, whispering to Kagome: “So what is in the other book that you do not want Shippou to look at?”

 

Kagome: “Oh, nothing really…just…pictures.”

 

Sango: “Ah…the ones that Houshi-sama gave to you?”

 

Kagome: “Yes…I didn't even look at them…I shoved them into the package that was to be published and they were put in to the back of the book”

 

Sango: “Oh, well, then that is a good reason to not let him read it.”

 

Kagome: “Yes…now…have you seen Miroku?”

 

Miroku: “Did someone call?”

 

Kagome: “As a matter of fact yes Miroku…did you look at those pictures that you gave me?”

 

Miroku: “Yes, Kagome-sama, I did.”

 

Kagome: “Oh…good…that gives me a reason to kill you.”

 

Miroku: “Oh dear…” *Runs*

 

Inuyasha: “Kagome…can I please kill him?”

 

Kagome: “Awww…you said please…sure you can.”

 

Inuyasha: *Runs after Miroku*

 

Sango: “Kagome-sama? Will you tell us the things in the book now?”

 

Kagome: “Of course! Here are the thing that are in my new book:

 

#13: Never wear a skirt around drunk boys.

 

#14: Forget Barbie! Get a boy drunk and play dress up!

 

#15: The perfect boy: money, plus cuteness, plus money, plus young, plus money, plus a car, plus money, plus generosity, plus money, plus a house, plus money!”

 

Miroku: “Is that it?”

 

Kagome: “What do you mean? Is that the end of the book? No, there's more.”

 

Miroku: “No, I mean is that all that it takes to be the perfect boy?”

 

Kagome: “Um…sure Miroku!”

 

Miroku: “I have a new goal in life.”

 

Kagome: “Oh no…anyways…here are the next ones:

 

#16: The way to a mans heart? Easy! Take a knife and cut it out, it's that easy!”

 

Sango: “Um, Kagome-sama? I don't believe that is very true.”

 

Kagome: “What do you mean?”

 

Sango: “Well, I thought that the way to a mans heart was through his stomach.”

 

Kagome: “Well…this is the cheap way!”

 

Sango: “Oh…ok.”

 

Kagome: “Ok…let's see if I can get through any more. Here are a couple more from the book:

 

#17: You like two boys? So date them both and don't tell the other! Twice the gifts!

 

#18: Understanding boys is like understanding their thoughts…it's impossible!

 

#19: Boys thought: Eat, sleep, work, look at girls, eat, sleep, work, look at girls…wait…what was I thinking? Something about girl…oh…girls…pretty girls…on beaches…”

 

Miroku: “Girls…on a beach…I love that image!”

 

Sango: “Houshi-sama…how many lumps on the head do you want?”

 

Miroku: “None, my dear Sango, none!”

 

Sango: “Then be quiet so Kagome-sama can finish!”

 

Miroku: “…”

 

Kagome: “Thank you Sango. Let's see how many I can get through this time:

 

#20: Girls thoughts: Wake up kids, cook breakfast, smell perfume…wait…perfume? He is soooooooo dead. Kill husband, kill husband, kill husband…

 

#21: Never tell your friends who you like before Christmas…they'll strip him and put him in your stocking…”

 

Shippou: “Has that ever happened to you Kagome?”

 

Kagome: “As a matter of fact, yes, it has.”

 

Inuyasha: “What?”

 

Kagome: “Well, one year I told my friends that I like this boy at school and they kinda…stripped him and put him in this huge stocking…I woke up and found him there still.”

 

Inuyasha: “Who did they put in there?”

 

Kagome: “Hojo…why?”

 

Inuyasha: “Nothing, wench…I just…I'll be back later.”

 

Kagome: “O…k…bye then…”

 

Inuyasha, jumps off in the direction of the well.

 

Miroku: “Will that work with boys as well?”

 

Kagome: “Sango…we know Whats coming…want to give him those promised lumps now?”

 

Miroku: “Never mind! I like my head the shape it is!”

 

Sango: “Damn.”

 

Kagome: “Lets try this again:

 

#22: What the words `yes' and `no' mean to a boy; `yes' means: `yes I will sleep with you'; `no means: `yes, I will sleep with you and another girl.

 

#23: How a boys mind works…I dunno! I ain't a boy!

 

#24: Somewhere in the world there is a group of girls that are studying a boys brain…and coming up with no results whatsoever.

 

#25: Drunk boys are fun!…when passed out.

 

#26: The only intelligent boys in the world are the ones that use to be girls.”

 

Shippou: “That use to be girls? How can they use to be girls?”

 

Kagome: “Um…Shippou that really isn't something that someone as young as you needs to know.”

 

Shippou: “oh…why?”

 

Kagome: “Because…um…it's not nice?”

 

Shippou: “Why?”

 

Kagome: “Well, for one thing it includes surgical tools.”

 

Shippou: “Surgimucul tools?”

 

Kagome: “Um…yeah…and they have to well…”

 

Sango: “Inuyasha! You're back…and you have blood on you.”

 

Inuyasha: “S---! Hold on.”

 

Kagome, Sango, Miroku, and Shippou: “…”

 

Inuyasha, runs off and washes the blood of *cough*Hojo*cough* off.

 

Inuyasha: “I had fun.”

 

Shippou: “Inuyasha had fun doing something other then killing! It's the apocalypse!”

 

Inuyasha: “Come close, runt…I'll teach you why I have claws!”

 

Shippou: “I'd rather not know…”

 

Kagome: “I'm going home unless you all shut up and let me finish!”

 

Everyone: “…”

 

Kagome: “Oops? Sorry…”

 

Everyone: “…”

 

Kagome: “…anyways! Here are the last of them:

 

#27: Girls, you must train your boys to do your work for you…it is the only way in life.

 

#28: Boys can be taught…it just takes a while.

 

#29: And God said, “May boys think girls weak…so that one day girls may rule the world and prove them wrong!!!

 

#30: Miss your boyfriend? Get a puppy, there just as good…and they are loyal to!…oh…and you can teach them not to chew the furniture to!

 

#31: Girls, if you ever see a boy with silver hair and dog ears…say sit boy! It's fun to watch him go face first in to the ground!”

 

Inuyasha: “Hey!”

 

Kagome: “Well it is!

 

#32: Oh, and if you see this boy…could you tell me? I'm missing mine.”

 

Inuyasha: “What? I'm right here!”

 

Kagome: “Well…isn't that special?

 

#33: Oh, one more thing about this boy…could you call him Poogly Woogly Bear for me? Thanks!”

 

Inuyasha: “Ok…scared now…”

 

Kagome: Oh, the big bad hanyou is scared!

 

#34: If you ever see a boy with silver hair, a fluffy tail, and is in a dress…run…I think he might be a cross dresser…AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

 

#35: Miss your boyfriend? Awww, how sad…wait a second…I don't care…never mind.”

 

Sango: “That was good Kagome!”

 

Miroku: “I hope I can do some of those one day.”

 

Shippou: “I don't understand.”

 

Kirara: “Meow?”

 

Inuyasha: “Um Kagome? You might not want to watch the news for a while…there are no mysterious death!”

 

Kagome: “O…k…who did you kill?”

 

Inuyasha: “Running away now!”

 

A/N: RandR!

 

Yeah, I gots more done! You would not believe how long it took to do these! I just love writing these though! There so fun! Sorry it took me so long…like I said…it took a little while.

 

Please go and read my other fanfictions…if you haven't already.

 

Please go and read Aoyama Kori Narasaki's fanfictions.

 

Please go and read Griffin Gal's fanfictions.

 

To those of you who have read The Princess Slave chapter 14 and complained about it: Thank you so much! You made me pissed of enough to take that chapter off! I'm very disappointed in you all…I made a huge note that said it was a parody chapter. I might now update for a while on that…I'm still really pissed off and every time that I get to writing it I don't feel inspired…I wonder why?

 

Sorry to all of you who did like it…and I do not mean to seem this mean…I just don't see why no one read the note that was 20 feet high!

 

Anyways, once again I apologize…

 

Me love you all!!

 

Neo Staff (called Nene…my nickname!)