InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Killer Ass ❯ Those shmexy bishies...ARE GAY?! A fan girl's worst nightmare. ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

It's a fangirl's worst nightmare.
Yes, at first things are looking bright, Inuyasha decides to leave Kagome AND Kikyo, that means he's free for the taking. But then--he get's with...Oh it's too unbearable to say...And could even the fanboys have something to be mad about?

Anime/Manga: InuYasha Fan Fiction | Genre(s): / Hentai / Comedy | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 12.10.2005 | Pages: 9 | Words: 7.0K | Visits: 1.5K | Status: Work In Progress

Lalala!

Okay, so I guess I don't have anything against yaoi. really I don't. If you want to claim that I'm against something than say its Aqua Teen Hunger force or Sea lab because those two are things I really AM against. In fact, I once drew a yaoi picture in my boyfriend's art book (it was to torment him, but still). I have nothing against gays and this writing is simply to be funny.

I'm sorry but I find the idea of Inuyasha and Sesshomaru getting together entirely ridiculous. Not only is Inuyasha totally NOT gay, but he HATES Sesshomaru and worst of all THEIR BROTHERS. And don't give me that “only half brothers” crap, because in my view there still brothers. not only that, but they want to kill each other. I think this is significant evidence that the Inu/Sessh thing is SO not happening.

Now I understand a lot of you want to do exciting and experimental couples, go ahead, no one's stopping you, and I'm not criticizing the people who do them, this fanfic is more making fun of BADLY done yaoi, I myself have never read yaoi, so please don't claim I'm targeting specific people because I'm telling you here and now that I'm not. this story was created in all NOT seriousness and is not to be taken seriously. Ao I say this now:

Anyone who complains to me about my opinion on Yaoi or my “ridicule of Yaoi supporters” will have their comment ignored and if it's aggressive enough it will be reported. I will repeat: I have no problem with yaoi or its creators and this is all for fun, so please enjoy.

Last note: this was intended to be written badly. Yet it is supposed to be coherent and readable but dialogue is supposed to be ridiculous and lacking, this is the point. This is a parody fic, remember.

Once again they argued.

It seemed as if it would never end.

Miroku and Sango were practically bleeding from the ears due to the screaming. Shippo had gone into hiding. Kaede had once again sighed heavily as she dug out vegetables from the harvest and shook her head disapprovingly. Anyone nearby had scandalized expressions on their faces and prayed silently that it was over.

it seemed it was.

The argument had finished.

But that wasn't all that had inevitably come to a dreaded end...

“That is IT I am SOOO sick of you Kagome!” Inuyasha said socking the tree to his right in a raging fury as he eyes kagome with contempt. she huffed bitterly and crossed her arms.

“you always say that but I know that you know that you NEED ME!!” he stared at her a moment.

“Screw off, why the hell is it that I would need you?”

“Admit it!”

“No!”

“Admit it or I'm leaving, I will leave Inuyasha if you fail to admit this to me!”

“Go ahead and leave!” She stared at him with hurtful eyes, he really didn't seem as if he cared at all. If she turned away and never came back at the moment, it seemed as if there wasn't a part of him that could care less. her eyes became watery.

“I can't believe this! You NEED me! And you fail to admit this! Stop failing to admit your obvious need for me!”

“I would be MILLIONS times better without you, and I am serious,” he said, causing Kagome to be somewhat taken aback, “I don't want you and I never did. In fact I wouldn't even care at all if you never came back. I thought I loved you but I realize it was a lie I was aliving. I don't care about you. I never really did, so in your face sista! I didn't even love Kikyo either so don't start going like 'oh Kikyo is dead this Kikyo that!', I don't know what I want but it sure isn't you. leave me alone, before I really give you something to cry about...” Kagome stared in disbelief hardly believing the words that were coming out of Inuyasha's mouth.

“I-I--” she looked sadly to the ground, “fine I don't need you either!” And that had been the end.

Little did anyone know...

But it truly was the end.

No more Inuyasha and kagome.

And as Inuyasha spun around and walk off he thought the very same. And not a bit of him felt remorse or pain. He climbed into a nearby cave and slept many many moons. Just the cold of the water on those rock walls at his back. it hurt, the rock. The rock hurt him, but he didn't notice.

It wasn't depression that ate him, it was throwing away of anything that had used to been cared for--or at least that he though he cared for--by him, that was what he was doing by being in the cave. It was dark and the darkness took him over. It was all for him. Yet he had no reason for it. There wasn't any part f him that was depressed. Not one part. Suddenly, footsteps could be heard near.

“Inuyasha?” cam a mysterious voice. Inuyasha looked up at saw a familiar shadow. “Are you here? I have heard the rumors that you fled to a cave.”

“I did not run away. What the hell is it you are talking about?” he asked, frowning. He knew who it was now, the familiarly icy continence of the voice--the sinister yet sexy--

Sexy?

Since when had he thought that?

he shook his head cascading the though quickly. What had he meant by that? he forgot it.

To his surprise his half brother did not attack him. Instead he drew closer with a strange look in his eye. A very, very strange look that caused Inuyasha to shiver, shiver and shiver, it was a shivery sensation that those eyes sent toward his spine. The shivering was over-whelming.

He was surprised when his normally hating half brother sat next to him and gazed at him with a strange look, a strange look in his eye. Inuyasha shivered more, looking away.

Sesshomaru had been just as surprised by his actions as Inuyasha, yet though he was even less keen on admitting his strange new thoughts at the sight of his brother in the eerie strange and dim light, his defined muscles and the way he panted slightly when he breathed, his demon hormones surpassed those of Inuyasha's half demon ones. He found his own breaths wheezing, he wanted to stop being so horny, but he could not stand it.

“You make me hot,” said he. Inuyasha paused unsure at the time.

“You make me hot, too,” he finally said as he turned to his brother.

“Let us make passionate love in this cave.”

“Let's.”

With a whish Sesshomaru had gotten on Inuyasha, as fast as you could say yaoi. Inuyasha didn't like this. Inuyasha ahead their plans. Yes he wanted his full demon brother though all sense was against it he was turned on so much, he was getting too much of a boner to ignore. This did not matter. The rivalry still existed through the strong horniness. Inuyasha wanted to be on top.

Even after Inuyasha had somehow gotten on Sesshomaru, it seemed he wouldn't get his way. No, not Sesshomaru, but Hojo.

“Hi, I was wondering if you had a cup of sug--oh dear!” Hojo exclaimed looking surprised when he saw the two. He jumped. “Oh dear what is it I am doing?” he landed on the two. “Oh my, a hard on...”

“What about me!” Jakken jumped in, wearing the sexiest tighty-whities you could ever imagine.

But it didn't matter.

Because no matter HOW sexy the tighty-whities...

Jakken is still Jakken.

He was promptly thrown out. He was betrayed by his own master.

Meanwhile the three hotties were busy trying to get their groove on when there was a knock at the cave entrance.

“Hey fellas.”

“Come on in Koga!” Hojo beamed.

“Are you insane--” Inuyasha snarled, but then he saw Koga in the most intricate hotsy-totsy little thong he had every seen, He never though wolf fur had looked more sexy. “Hurry up you wolf I want some foursome beef over here!”

“Mutt--I could never--JIMINY CRICKET!!” his eyes bulged out of the sockets, “how big IS that thing, Inuyasha?!”

“I know isn't it MARVLOUS?” Sesshomaru said just before he dove into to have his fill.

“MINE!” Koga said as he jumped into the tangle of bishies.

“What about me? Sex just isn't sex without me!” Miroku exclaimed. They all stared in surprise. Miroku was NOT gay! Everyone KNEW that!

“You are NOT gay.”

“That was what I thought, but then I heard and sensed the sex in this cave and I could not resist becoming queer. Lemme in! You will not regret it!”

“You are NOT gay!”

“Watch this,” Miroku said, quickly joining in. His moves were unthinkable. They drove them all nuts. Speaking of nuts, there was now plenty to go around. And Miroku was fine in the acorn tree department, if you know what I mean. ^_~

Then the perfect addition came. “Ku ku ku ku! I want a screw!”

Well the rhyming was all too hot for them and they practically forced him into the mess of moany-groany bishies all jumpy in their sweaty madness for gay lovin'. Naraku added an interesting flavor well needed.

But something wasn't right. It was incomplete. Inuyasha could indulge in the wolf thong, and the utter brilliance of Inu youkai balls, while Sesshomaru quite enjoyed Naraku's interesting mix of testicles AND tentacles which both wriggled strangely, but there was something missing and Hojo was irritating without a terribly strong interest in tentacles, fluff, monk power, or wolf thongs and found himself obsessed with humping dog ears, which Inuyasha resented as it got in the way with his multitasking of wolf thong and dog boner.

Hojo was annoying.

But a dramatic silhouette suddenly got all of their attention in their sexual frenzy. It was....

Shippo?

Needless to say he was quickly disposed of.

Shippo rolled and rolled and rolled and rolled, through the depths of the cave. Bop. He thudded against something. A high pitched scream. Jakken...

Jakken's eyes glinted greedily at the site of the saucy fox demon.

“Come here, let's get it on!” Jakken squealed, lunging for Shippo. Shippo dodged.

“Nah, it wouldn't go with the context of the story,” he explained calmly.

“What?”

“Well--we were already gay to begin with, so our sexual preference wouldn't' change.”

“I was gay--b-but you...”

“Oh come on, I mean look at me,” Shippo said, motioning toward himself. Jakken nodded.

“I think my gaydar picked it up earlier but...I was sort of distracted..”

“By Sesshomaru? yeah, hot stuff. Big crotch too.”

“How do you--”

“Let's not go there...I have to turn straight.” Shippo began looking about the cave for a feminine partner.

Meanwhile...

“Oh Inuyasha!”

“Oh Koga”

“Oh Naraku!”

“Oh Sesshomaru!”

“Oh Hojo!”

“Oh Miroku!”

“Oh Hiten!”

“Hey, Hiten's here?” Inuyasha asked, looking up. His face contorted with disgust. “UGH! No! it's MONTAN!” With a swift kick the ugly Montan was no more. “Ew, who moaned by what that CREEP did?”

“Me,” Miroku said guiltily, looking somewhat violated a moment, then quickly continuing with his dog-ear nibbling to Hojo's jealously.

“Oh...oh...nice...”

“Grrr...my humping was better than HIS nibbling!” Hojo grumbled.

“Says who?” Inuyasha asked, looking as if he was thoroughly enjoying himself.

“Says I the great Hojo!” he humped Naraku's tentacles.

“Um...you know he's right...it's not so satisfactory...”

“Damn...”

“I, Hiten shall join you all in your now homosexual conquests!” proclaimed a voice.

“Be gone Montan!” said Naraku as he threw a rock, “ku ku ku ku ku!”

“Ow! That hurt!” said the voice. They all continued the sexing up as if the voice had never been heard. “Hey! I'll have you know that my experiences surpasses that of all of yours to be surpassed muuhaa!!” They all looked over briefly then continued. “HEY!” You'll regret this!” and he left, the fivesome continued on without the last remaining who should have been dead of the thunder tribe.

“Besides, isn't Hiten dead?” Miroku murmured putting his mouth on someone's sack of goodies.

“So is Montan,” Inuyasha growled, annoyed that the ear nibbling had stopped.

“Weird...” Hojo remarked preparing to hump Inuyasha's ears again.

“Don't you dare--” he began, but was cut off by Koga's thong flying clear over his head. He turned and all eyes fell on the naked sight. The entire cave erupted with laughter.

“What's so funny over there?” Ed asked Al as they sat by a campfire wearing their boy scout uniforms. They both gazed in to the fire after looking at the cave for sometime. Al shrugged his big metal shoulders.

“Who the hell knows.”

“You said a swear word,” he said in a monotone.

“So. We are not in this story.”

“Right. At least we don't have to have sex. I don't think I could pull that off with a robot.”

“I'm a suit of armor. Your the one who fucking transmuted my body.”

“I could have just let you die.”

“Yeah, you're so cruel. Why didn't you?”

“...guess I was trying to be nice--make the show more interesting or some shit like that.”

“Show better?”

“Think about it, without you I'm just a short guy who can transmute stuff, now I'm a short guy with a pet robot.”

“Suit of armor.”

“Whatever.” Ed spat a lugie into the fire.

“Nice.”

“What's it like to be dominated by someone half your size?” Sango inquired with a grin on her face.

“I can deal with it. I can bounce them higher,” Kagome returned, sweating heavily.

“Yeah right, well I know what I'm doing, bitch, get used to it.”

“YES!!! OH YES!!”

“Feels good, doesn't it?”

“Yep, all because your so easy!”

“Ha! Well I'm just getting warmed up!”

“Bring it on, sista!”

Meanwhile...someone else entered the cave...

“Muso--you're a part of Naraku, how could you be interesting?” Inuyasha asked.

“Oh I beg to differ! but soon I'll make even you beg Inuyasha!” Muso said.

later...

“Oh PLEASE Muso!!! PLEASE!!!” Inuyasha screamed.

“I'll give you some more if you go on your knees...” Muso said.

“MY TURN!!” Miroku demanded.

“No mine!” Totosai demanded.

Totosai sat all in his lonesome in the dark cavern far far away from all the action. “Why did they throw me out?” Totosai whimpered pathetically, “I'm dead sexy...” He looked at the water and ran away screaming. “Who was that UGLY old man? he pondered.

“Why hello there miss,” Shippo said. Jakken rolled his eyes.

“That's a rock Shippo.”

“Are you sure?” he asked looking very confused. He studied the rock carefully. Jakken hit him over the head with his staff.

“Ow!” Shippo said, rubbing his head and looking over at Jakken. He suddenly sniggered as he looked at him. Jakken became self-conscious.

“”W-what?”

“You look so STUPID with those tighty-whities and that staff!”

“EERRRAGH!!” Jakken said as fire few from his staff and scorched Shippo.

“Fox fire!”

“Staff of two heads!”

“Fox fire!”

“Staff!”

“Fox fire!”

“Staff!”

A whistling was heard, and Bankotsu strolled in swinging his belt around his right hand causing the remainder to gawk, but Inuyasha frowned, “God, what an ego I can't believe he whistled at himself! and look at him strut!”

“Mine mine! Gimme!” Miroku exclaimed falling at Bankostsu's feet, “I'll pleasure you with my mystical monk abilities!”

“Nah,” Bankotsu said, snubbing, “I need someone with an even bigger ego.

“Oh choose I the great Lord Sesshomaru!”

“No, I the great Naraku!”

“No I the great Hojo!”

“No way, choose I the great Miroku!” Miroku cried desperately.

Inuyasha hmphed.

“I must have HIM!” And he pounced the Hanyou.

“He doesn't ever want him, no fair!' Hojo whined.

“Oh do that again!:”

“Yeah, he wants him alright,” Miroku returned shaking his head, then quickly setting about to fondling Sesshomaru.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!