InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Killing Time ❯ Who's is Bigger? ( Chapter 4 )

Killing Time - Chapter 4

Who's Is Bigger?

 

++++++++ DAY 3 ++++++++++

 

“Oyoyoyoyyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy,” InuYasha rolled his eyes awake early the next morning. Not this again, he thought has he sat up in his tree, only to realize it was his own stomach making the embarrassing noise. Time to eat.

 

It occurred to him that he had a rare chance to hunt small game today, and he took off seeking a compelling scent. About an hour later, he returned with two good sized rabbits. As he made the fire, he heard a scuffle behind him and turned to find Sesshomaru, eyes reddening into a mindless state, tearing at one of the rabbits in frenzied hunger.

“Whoa!” Adrenaline shot through InuYasha as he took in the sight of the half transformed, rabid dog behind him. Instinct took over and he tossed the other rabbit away from his brother and dove in to try to grab what remained of the first one, snarling and snapping. Thanks to the fact that Sesshomaru had trouble balancing on his one remaining forward paw, InuYasha managed to get a good hold on the rabbit's hind legs with one of his clawed hands and pulled, throwing his body weight into the struggle. Sesshomaru had not fully transformed, but he had the rabbit's head in his mouth. He pulled back, hiking his rear end into the air, and setting himself into what would become known as a perfect yoga pose someday far in the future.

 

InuYasha set his jaw. He was not going to let go. Neither was his asshole brother. The tug-of-war continued for a few moments until a sickening R-i-i-i-p-p-p signaled the end of the rabbit as a whole creature. InuYasha retreated with his half, snatching the other rabbit carcass, and retreated to the other side of the clearing to watch as the half transformed monster before him crunched and slurped his way through the remains. It was disgusting to watch.

 

“That's gross,” InuYasha said as Sesshomaru returned to “normal” and began licking his fingers, carefully avoiding the nails.

 

“Hmmmm,” was his only reply.

 

“Hey, I worked hard for these stupid rabbits!” InuYasha was really getting angry, not that it seemed to have any affect. “Rabbit is a delicacy for me these days, and you had to go and rip one of `em up!” InuYasha was fuming now and he walked backward towards the firepit, awkwardly avoiding rocks and sticks he couldn't see, careful to keep his breakfast close and protected. Not turning my back on you again, he thought, that's for sure.

 

“A delicacy …,” Sesshomaru sensed an opening. “Why didn't you hunt rabbit yesterday?” Sesshomaru was goading him. Unfortunately, InuYasha was easily goaded when he was angry.

 

“I forgot! Alright?” InuYasha stalked about the clearing finishing the fire. “Shut the fuck up!”

 

“Forgot?”

 

“Yeah!” InuYasha threw some wood down next to the fire, talking more to himself than to his goading brother, “I fucking forgot that when Kagome's not around, I don't have to keep my promise not to eat cute, fuzzy creatures. Shit!” He jumped back, barely avoiding a log which dropped out of his arms from his load of firewood.

 

“Now I see,” Sesshomaru's voice was triumphant under its inscrutable flatness, Whoops, shouldn't have said that, InuYasha cringed inside. Sesshomaru continued, “Yet another way you've disgraced our father's name.”

 

“What?!?”

 

“Inu no Taisho would be appalled to know his son was pussy-whipped into being a pescetarian by a mere human girl,” Sesshomaru actually deigned to shake his head, “tsk, tsk,tsk.” Coming from him, this sounded like a snake's hiss. InuYasha's ears flattened back on his skull, but his closest kin was not done. “A girl that can subdue him, no less, with the humiliating `sit!' command.”

 

“Not funny, brother,” InuYasha had forgotten all about his rabbits and was facing his tormentor, a dangerous position between predators. All the light hearted fun had disappeared from the clearing as the two faced each other. Sesshomaru was picking a fight. The silence stretched. InuYasha really didn't feel like getting into a fight, he was too hungry, but he couldn't just let his stupid brother get away with this challenge to his manhood.

 

“Oyoyoyoyyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoy,” Sesshomaru's stomach grumbled into the clearing, giving InuYasha the opening he needed to get back to his rabbits.

 

“Ha!” InuYasha declared victory without lifting a claw, “just sit over there on your stupid boulder and watch me eat!” To his satisfaction, Sesshomaru's implacable expression looked vaguely annoyed.

 

Emboldened again, InuYasha eyed his brother carefully as he cleaned off his breakfast and spitted it for the fire. An underhanded idea struck him. Sure, why not?

 

“At least I have a real woman,” Two, in fact, he thought, but InuYasha wisely decided he'd better keep his mouth shut about the dead one, “not some little girl following me around all the time.” He sniggered, “a kid and a toad, quite the following you have, oh great Lord of the Dog Demon Clan.”

 

“What are you suggesting?” Sesshomaru's face had become deadly again, losing all its `humor,' his eyes bleeding red.

 

“Ah, never mind,” InuYasha finally got a bite of his tasty breakfast, which was almost as good as pissing off his brother.

 

“You are not suggesting anything about Rin, are you?” the cracked demon smile was beginning to appear again. I wonder if that hurts, thought InuYasha absentmindedly as he took another bite. “Tell me!” Sesshomaru hissed.

 

“I'm not suggesting anything, jerk,” InuYasha said between bites. “It's just that you're always hanging out with her.” He swallowed. “She's kinda cute. I just figured you were, you know, kinda saving her for later, that's all.” Oh boy, now I'm going to get it.

 

“I see.” Unexpectedly, Sesshomaru's face returned to normal. “Well, your assumptions are misguided by your own low-life tastes. I would never deign to be mated to a human, no matter how old she grows to be.” InuYasha saw an opening. His stomach full, he was ready for this one.

 

“Oh. Now I see,” InuYasha tossed his rabbit bones into the fire, “you're holding out for that beautiful dog demoness to come waltzing into your life.” Sesshomaru was silent, sensing a trap.

 

“You won't marry outside your clan, right?” InuYasha took on a haughty voice, attempting poorly to imitate his brother, "correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you the last pureblood dog demon alive?”

 

Silence.

 

“No clan, no mate.”

 

Silence.

 

“Now I know why you don't like the word `fuck,'” InuYasha laughed cruelly, “you never get any!”

 

Sesshomaru's face hardly changed, but his reaction was clear. Score! InuYasha cheered to himself.

 

There was a long pause, perfectly timed for maximum impact.

 

“And you do?” Sesshomaru's voice was deep and biting.

 

Ouch!

 

The day wore on. InuYasha was watching the sun carefully; waiting for the time he could go to Toutousai and demand his sword back. Sesshomaru was more talkative today, trying to bait his half brother into a verbal fistfight every few minutes. It was exhausting. Here is an example of how stupid it got:

 

Sesshomaru: Your mother was a weak-willed human.

InuYasha: Oh, yeah? Well your mom was a bitch!

Pause: ---

Sesshomaru: Not exactly. She was a Purebred bitch.

 

Or this:

 

Sesshomaru: Dad liked you best.

InuYasha: Duh!

 

+++++++++++

 

Finally, when the sun hung halfway over the horizon, Toutousai emerged with the two swords tucked under his arm. InuYasha bounded over to him, bopped him on the head and said, “gimme my sword!”

 

Toutousai grimaced and held tight to the swords until Sesshomaru walked up and stood shoulder-to-shoulder with InuYasha. InuYasha stepped to the side a bit. Toutousai then presented the two swords to their rightful owners. Sesshomaru's Tensaiga was long, strong and straight, while InuYasha's Tetsusaiga was its usual rusty, slightly bent self and - what the fuck!?

 

“What did you do to my sword, old man?” InuYasha took his precious sword and held it up to look at it more closely.

 

“I honed it, just like I said I would, you ingrate,” Toutousai was obviously in no mood to mince words today.

 

“Like hell you did!” InuYasha was getting really mad. “Look!” He held his sword out parallel to Sesshomaru's, hilt to hilt, so that the blades thrust out together in front of the two brothers.

 

“What are we looking at?” Sesshomaru was enjoying the fact that InuYasha was upset, even though he didn't seem to understand why.

 

“Can't you see?' InuYasha's hand was shaking he was so angry now.

 

“See what?” Toutousai was examining the two blades as well.

 

“His is bigger than mine!” InuYasha screamed at them both. “It didn't used to be! You made it shorter!”

 

Toutousai rolled his eyes. “You are obviously still inexperienced,” the old man sighed. “With time, you will come to understand that it's not about how big it is...”

 

“…but how well it fits inside your enemy,” Sesshomaru finished for him, smugness oozing through this words.

 

InuYasha looked at them like they had two heads each. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

 

The last few days with his brother must have really started to wear on Sesshomaru, or he was just really bored, because he seemed to be enjoying this conversation in a very out-of-character way, considering where it was going

 

“Come, InuYasha, you must know by now that,” he paused for dramatic effect, “it's not the meat, it's the motion.” He snarled out some kind of weird snuffle, which InuYasha took for humor. God, this guy could not tell a joke!

 

Up to this point, InuYasha was only vaguely aware of what they were talking about. Suddenly, it occurred to him and he recoiled, disgusted at the thought of his brother's …. But then he saw a new opening.

 

“I'm talking about the sword, you idiots,” InuYasha drew himself up to his full height, eye-to-nose with Sesshomaru and towering over Toutousai. “Don't even think you can win the other competition.”

 

“Hmmmm,” Sesshomaru seemed to be considering this challenge.

 

“Oh, no.” Toutousai looked appalled and backed away a step.

 

Sesshomaru was looking his brother up and down, apparently in a new light, assessing the likelihood that his shorter stature might not carry through to a horizontal orientation. Clearly testing his brother's courage, he drawled the fateful words that would seal their challenge, “prove it,” he said dryly.

 

InuYasha's blood ran cold. The stupidity of his latest bravery came home to him very suddenly. This was not a challenge he could possibly win on skill, daring or sheer ballsiness. This was just a straight out gamble. And if he lost … he would really have to kill is dumb-ass brother once and for all.

 

Still standing ramrod straight, he sheathed Tetsuisaiga --

 

“No!” Two voices screamed in protest this time. Toutousai was backing away, hands up to his eyes to protect himself from horrible sights, Myoga was bouncing on his shoulder. “Please don't go there, Master InuYasha!”

 

InuYasha decided to buy some time, “and how, exactly, would we judge this little … uh … contest.”

 

Both sets of golden eyes looked to Toutousai and Myoga.

 

“Absolutely not!” Myoga screamed so loud they all heard him from deep within Toutousai's hair knot. Toutousai was silent. With a terrified expression, he just shook his head spasmodically no, no, no!

 

InuYasha looked at Sesshomaru, who looked at InuYasha. Their eyes locked for a moment. Decades of hatred and distrust glared back at them. But now that hatred and distrust was tempered by something else. Maybe it was just the shared experience of killing time together for the first time in their lives. Whatever it was, an understanding passed between them, a joint plot to get themselves out of this mess.

 

As on a cue, Sesshomaru straightened up, hitching his thumbs into his deep yellow sash. InuYasha kept his eyes on him, wondering if he had read his brother's signals right or was just walking into yet another trap. Sesshomaru glanced at him in an inviting way and took a step toward Toutousai. InuYasha followed his lead, ready to bolt for Kilala and run far, far away at the first sign that his idiot brother intended to actually go through with this farce.

 

Together, they stalked the great Dog Demon's servants, backing Toutousai against his skeleton of a house. Both brothers were putting on a good show of manliness, puffing their chests out and swaggering just a bit. They looked very intimidating to Toutousai and Myoga, and very stupid to Kilala and Au-un, who waited patiently nearby.

 

“No. No. No.” The old man was whimpering now.

 

“You will judge this contest for us,” Sesshomaru's voice was as cold and ruthless as ever, “will you not?”

 

“No way!” Myoga cryed again, from somewhere on the roof of the house. Obviously the little coward was running away. One down, InuYasha thought with relief.

 

Sesshomaru's eyes bored into Toutoutsai, the unspoken question clear. InuYasha had to hand it to his brother, his asshole nature was really coming in handy for a change.

 

“InuYasha save me!” Toutousai inched towards him and clung to his sleeve. Time to play along.

 

“Hey, cut that out!” InuYasha yanked his sleeve away from the grimy fingers. “This is important, old man! We need you. Don't chicken out on us now.” For effect, praying fervently that the old man would just do the right thing and run away already, he took his hands to his waist and started to untie his hakama pants. Come on, idiot, run away! Run away! To his consternation, the old man just hid his face again.

 

InuYasha turned to Sesshomaru with widening eyes, giving his brother a come-on-asshole- don't-leave-me-hangin'-here look. He saw a shadow of concern pass over his brother's smooth features. But Sesshomaru seemed to have decided he didn't want to go through with this any more than his little brother. He set his jaw and reached for his yellow sash, untying it to reveal the armor beneath. Lucky shit, thought InuYasha, he's got a bunch of layers, and I've just got my haori. Time to turn up the intimidation heat.

 

“Toutousai!” InuYasha's voice was as threatening as he could make it, which, he realized, was only about a quarter as scary sounding as his brother, spurring another help-me-out look to his half sibling, “Open your damned eyes and tell us who wins!”

 

“No!” Toutousai was so cowered now, it was pathetic. “Whoever loses will kill me!”

 

“If you don't open your eyes right now,” did Sesshomaru just gulp? “we will both kill you anyway.” Sesshomaru's voice was so evil that it sent a chill up InuYasha's spine.

 

“Ahhhhh!” Toutousai cried and the world was engulfed in flames.

 

When the smoke cleared, the smith was gone, along with his cow-demon-thing and both boys were singed and covered in soot. They stood stock still for a moment, waiting to make sure the old fart was really gone. Nothing moved until InuYasha breathed a big sigh of relief. He noticed Sesshomaru's shoulders relax just a smidge as he went to tie his sash again. He turned to move to Au-un, no look or acknowledgement to his younger brother that they had just spent three days together - bonding - sortof. InuYasha was relieved, but he saw another opening and couldn't resist taking it.

 

“Hey, asshole!” InuYasha yelled to the demon's receding back. “Where are you going so fast?” Sesshomaru stopped but did not turn around.

 

“Our time is over,” he was back to his charming self.

 

“What?!” Glee was breaking into InuYasha's voice again, “what about our contest? You're not chickening out just because those worms did, are you?” He could tell from the set of Sesshomaru's back that he was indeed chickening out. Yes! Got him!

 

“Come on, bro,” InuYasha was having a hard time containing his laughter, “drop your pants already.”

 

Sesshomaru turned to look at him, a tell-me-you're-not-serious expression on his face just after InuYasah had given Kilala the signal to meet him in the air.

 

“Got `cha!” InuYasha soared into the space over his brother's white fuzzy head on the way to Kilala.

 

As he flew away, watching Sesshomaru turn into a little white speck on the ground, he thought to himself, man I like getting the last word! When he arrived back where he had started this little adventure, Kagome came rushing up to him.

 

“InuYasha!” Boy, she sure loved to say his name. He'd missed that these last three days. “Are you ok? We were worried about you, and we've got a lead on Yourei Taisei. Are you ready to go?”

 

“Yep, I'm rested and ready,” he was in a good mood, having finally bested his brother in so many satisfying ways.

 

“Um,” Kagome had a cute little blush spreading over her cheeks, she must be noticing the extra manliness clinging to him from his successful battles with Sesshomaru these last few days. “Um …,” her blush was getting deeper, “why are your pants falling down?”

 

To his horror, he looked down to see that he'd forgotten to retie his hakama pants, which were now sagging down around his knees.

 

Fuck!

 

END

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Pescetarian is vegetarian who eats fish.