InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Kinetics ❯ Dude Looks Like a Lady ( Chapter 4 )

A/N: Lucky lucky! I checked my E-mail for the first time this week, and guess who had his review alerts on? Happy happy! I'm glad to say that most of the reviews I got before evil, evil FF.net made me repost are saved! Happy Happy! Look forward to a response at the first Interlude, in about 2 or 3 chapters. Now, more about this chapter!

I know I told you guys that the next chapter would be "What is and What Should Never Be", but... I lied. Instead, while trying to plan What is and What Should Never Be, I came up with this nifty idea instead. Expect this to be short, funny, and to the point.

Disclaimer: Do I really hafta say it? *Sigh* I dun own anything. Everything here belongs to someone else, I'm just borrowin' it for a while, k?

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Kinetics

Track 4: Dude Looks Like a Lady

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Who was this new stranger? This tall, suave, debonair man, dressed in a white suit, who stole the hearts of every girl around. Who was this handsome stranger with hair as white as snow, and eyes the color of golden sunlight?

From somewhere in the crowd, an excited girl screamed "Let me have you're children!!"

"I'm sorry," replied the stranger, "But I'm engaged"

At this, many of the girls in the crowd sighed. Who was the woman who was able to tame this stranger's wild heart, and give him reason to settle down?

Why was this man talking to that freak?

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"What the hell's all this fuss about?" asked Inuyasha angrily as he fought the flow of the crowd to get to his locker. "The hell man!?"

"Get outta my way, freak!" shouted an angry sounding girl.

"Sweet merciful Jesus, what the hell's going on!?!"

"Ahh, brother, It's a good thing I found you!"

"Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha was confused. Was he the cause of all this? "What are you doing here?"

The crowd had gone silent. Why was this handsome stranger, this angel of a man, talking to such a freak. It did not make sense to them. Was that "Brother" that he had called him? But how could that be? How could someone so beautiful emerge from the same gene pool that that hideous freak had crawled out of? Why were they all beginning to doubt the hideous freaks hideousness?

"Heh, well, brother of mine... Sore wa himitsu desu!"

"What? Aww come on, just tell me!"

"Can't, you'll find out in History!" and with that, Sesshoumaru walked away.

The crowd was confused. What was it that the stranger had said? What is this foreign language that he had used? Surely it had been the language used by Gods and Demons alike, for the lowly being had understood. The crowd followed the man, as they would continue to do so until he answered some of their questions. The top being "Will you marry me?" The crowd was woman. Hear it roar.

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There was one woman in the building who was not following this angel of a man. Or at least, it seemed that way. This woman had a small crowd of her own. Surely she was the most beautiful sight that the men following her had seen. However, unbeknownst to them (but knownst to us!) This woman was a Man.

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Inuyasha was in a sour mood as he gathered his things for Trigonometry from his locker. He grabbed his things hastily, slamming his locker shut to find a beautiful maiden whom he had never seen before, looking somewhat out of breath, standing beside him.

"Do I know you?" asked Inuyasha.

"Quick! We gotta hide somewhere! They're coming!"

"Hey what's all this about!?" Inuyasha asked angrily after the woman led him into a supply closet.

"Inuyasha it's me, Miroku!" The voice certainly didn't sound female.

"What?"

The woman sigh, and removed her wig, revealing, indeed, a Miroku, Incognito.

"What the heel is this all about?" asked Inuyasha. He was confused. Dazed and Confused.

"I figured out that it couldn't have been the fact that I had never said my name that kept people from remembering me, on account of Roll Call in the mornings. So, I decided it was time to teach those bastards and bastardettes a few lessons. I'm starting with 'Never Judge a Book by it's Cover.' but I need you're help."

"Uh-uh, no way. I'm not going into the yearbook as Ziggy Stardust, got it!"

"No, no, I don't need you to do anything like that. In fact, I'd be surprised if they ever found out you did what I need you to. No, at lunch, I need you to go on a special Covert Ops mission for me."

"What is it, and how much trouble will I be in?"

"Here, you know the Intercom tap in Lecture Hall 1? I need you to sneak in, and hook up this cassette player at lunch, and press play. Then, just get you're ass out of there, and I'll do the rest, k?"

"I don't like the sound of this, but... whatever. I'll just not show up at lunch... i have a nasty feeling I won't wanna be there."

"I knew you were the man for this mission. Good luck, Takagami!"

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4th period History came around a lot faster that day. Maybe it was because of Sesshoumaru's mysterious appearance, but Inuyasha could have sworn after second period that they were on a half day schedule.

As Inuyasha walked in to History, he saw Sesshoumaru studying one of the many posters of Dwight Eisenhower hanging on the wall's. Their teacher, Mr. Toutousai, was a WWII enthusiast, and it seemed almost ironic to many that he be a teacher in Eisenhower High School.

Noticing Inuyasha's entrance, Sesshomaru glanced at him and gave a wave, smiling as he did so. All of the girls in the class swooned, including Kagome, who was about to push Inuyasha out of her way. He just shrugged and took his seat.

"Class! Class, I have some very important news," said the old Mr. Toutousai. As the class slowly came to attention, he began to drift off, until he felt a finger poke him in the sides. "Ahem, thank you, Sesshoumaru. Now class, I'm sorry to say this but I am very, very old. As such, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to retire. Class, I'd like you to meet my replacement, a former student of mine, Mr. Takagami." Toutousai stepped down and sat in the office chair behind his desk.

The class, as a whole, sans Inuyasha, gasped. Was it really possible that someone this handsome was related to the school looser?

"We'll, it's good to meet you, class. As I can see, you all must be wondering about something. Yes, it is true, Inuyasha Takagami is my younger brother. Now, with that out of the way, I'd like to explain my rules and procedures. Firstly, the first person to talk out of turn in this classroom will be sent home with a detention slip. Secondly, the first person caught chewing gum in my classroom will be stuck with clean up duties. Thirdly, don't expect any more transparencies. If I talk to fast for you, get a tape recorder, because I'm not going to make any exceptions. I expect this class to go smoothly, quietly, and under my total control."

"Oh come on," said Inuyasha, "You're acting like Hitler."

"Brava!"

"What?"

"You're the first person to get it all day," said Sesshoumaru, smirking.

The look of confusion slowly left Inuyasha's face, to be replaced with a smirk of his own, as he remembered what they were supposed to be studying today. "Excuse me," piped in a lost Kagome, "but I'm not quite following you."

"Class," said Sesshoumaru, "That display, a display of high expectations in a stressful environment, the display of unfair strictness, in a situation where total control was expected at all times, by one person, left you with a feeling of fear. I saw three people spit out gum, and several more sit up straighter. Take that fear, multiply it, and apply it to Germany, under the rule of Adolf Hitler, and you have every reason why the Nazis followed him. Class, welcome to your first Political Ideology lesson." Sesshoumaru grinned as the class, as a whole, recognized his scheme. Toutousai smiled in his chair. He had chosen a great successor indeed...

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Lunch rolled around and Inuyasha secretively made his way over to Lecture Hall 1. He he hooked up the machine, and stuck around only for a few seconds, as the full depths of Miroku's plan made it's way into his head. He was sure glad he hadn't planned on going to lunch.

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Meanwhile, even before the music had started, Miroku was up on one of the lunch tables, dancing. As the familiar chords met his ears, he began a little strip tease. 'I'm going to be suspended forever, and the name Ziggy Stardust will haunt me forever, but this will so be worth it!' He thought evilly.

Many of the schools guys had gathered around the table. Miroku noticed, with a slight joy, that all of them were "popular." Good, he could spare some of his fellow cynics from the horror. Most of those cynics were actually now mumbling about how corrupted the world was.

Miroku took delight in the fact that no one was paying attention to the song. That or they were really stupid. The guys were beginning to grow rowdy, and a few catcalls were being issued. "Ohh let me see here," said Miroku in a feminine voice, and he began to read off the names and phone numbers of all the guys who had offered theirs to him. "Well, lets see what you guys are wanting!" he shouted

Men began to vomit as he pulled down his undergarments. 'Oh yeah,' thought Miroku, 'this was so worth it!' "Never judge a book by it's cover!" He screamed as he gathered his clothing and ran for it. as the song finished, a recording of Miroku's voice came over the intercom.

'Well, if all has gone according to plan, I've just made fools of 'A few good men'. Hehehe! Hope none of you part with THAT image for a long time, you womanizing, chauvinistic man-whores! Never judge a book by it's cover!'

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A/N: Hehehe! Hope you liked, ne? I just was listening to the song and the idea popped into my head. Hehehe! Now that I've scarred you for life, here's some news! ^.^

I am planning to respond to most of my reviews, which were luckily saved, in a few chapters. I'm sorry for any inconvenience any of you may have found in the whole re-posting mess, but hey, shit happens, and I as more pissed than you anyway.

Poll: Along with last chapters poll, who should be the villain, I want to know what everybody's opinion of Sesshoumaru is? You think he's a good brother, bad brother, or something else? Just a little curious to see if I was able to convey the character I wanted to ^.^ Oh, and I really, really, need some suggestions for a villain. The only person I can think of that I haven't used is Kagura. On those lines, how many of you would like to see an original character as the villain? All I'm gonna tell you about the villain is that it's gonna be one of Inuyasha's classmates! ^.^