InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Learning to Live Again ❯ Since You Been Gone ( Chapter 12 )

A/N: This chapter is not quite as dark as the others. In this one we find out what happens to Kikyo when goes to long without food or is extremely weakened. Thanks to my readers and thank you for reviewing! For those of you who read my other stories, I plan to have a new chapter of each out before the weekend is over.

 

Disclaimer: I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is I don't own Inuyasha. The good news is I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO. (Sorry about that. I don't own that awful commercial either.)

 

Chapter 12- Since You Been Gone

 

“Lady Kikyo! Lady Kikyo!” Rin ran up to the priestess as she stood in the courtyard practicing her archery as she stood in ankle deep snow.

 

Though she hadn't seen Sesshomaru since the night he claimed her as his mate, he left instructions to Hitomi that Kikyo was to be measured and dressed in clothing that was befitting of her new station. Hitomi had been confused until she saw the mark on Kikyo, denoting her the new lady of the Western Lands. She was dressed in billowing pants of white that were similar to her mate's. The top she wore was similar as well. Though where his was white with red, hers was yellow with purple around the sleeves and the shoulders and around her waist there was a green sash. Her long black hair was pulled back at the nape of her neck. Her clothing might be different, but she didn't want to deal with the intricate hair styles of the court.

 

“What is it Rin?” She smiled down at the human girl as she ran through the snow.

 

“Come play with Rin, please?” She pleaded with her.

 

Kikyo sat down her bow and smiled with a mischief filled smile at the girl. It had been a month since Sesshomaru had claimed her as his mate. And a month since she had last seen him. She actually kind of missed him, even though he had been so abusive and cold. She felt a kind of self loathing about her feelings when it came to him. Part of her knew she was falling in love with him, but the other part hated how cruelly he treated her. How could she want someone the way she craved him when they hurt her as often as he did her? She didn't believe that it was because she enjoyed it when he inflicted pain on her. Despite what she had told him that night when he whipped her, she didn't like it when he chained her to the wall and fucked… Actually she had liked it, but that wasn't the point. No, that was the point!

 

Damn Sesshomaru! He didn't know what he did to her when he wasn't around and she wouldn't tell him either. She didn't know what she would do first when she saw him, give him a piece of his mind or jump on him.

 

Kikyo knew she could easily fall in love with Sesshomaru, especially because of how she heard from Rin and the servants how deeply he cared for the human girl. For a demon who was supposed to hate humans, he sure baffled Kikyo by how much he loved the little girl. Kikyo knew without a doubt that he loved the girl, even if he had never said it. Of course, it wasn't like she had seen them interact too much. He had left the day after Kikyo had had to explain the difference between rape and sex to Rin.

 

She had grown to love Rin over the past month. It was just so hard not to love the girl. Kikyo had been Rin's teacher, friend, and confidant. She even told Kikyo about her rape, which had made both girls cry. For the past three weeks, Rin had been sleeping in Kikyo's bed. They would giggle and talk before going to sleep. Part of Kikyo wondered if she felt such a close bond with the girl, because she was only a few years older than Kaede had been when Kikyo died. Sometimes Rin even called her Mama Kikyo.

 

It appeared that Rin had heard the gossiping about Kikyo being mated to Sesshomaru, and assumed that she could call Kikyo mama, even though she didn't call Sesshomaru anything other than Lord Sesshomaru. Kikyo had no problem with it, although she wondered what Sesshomaru would say about it when he returned from wherever he happened to be.

 

Kikyo was torn from her musing when a snowball connected with her face. She gasped and stared at the giggling girl. “So, you want to play like that, huh?” Kikyo scooped up a handful of snow and compacted it into a tight ball. She threw it at Rin, careful that she didn't hit her too hard.

 

“Missed me! You missed me!” Rin jumped away from Kikyo's snowball and scooped up her own snow to throw at the woman she liked to think of as her mother. Rin had only met two people that she felt this kind of a bond with. They were Sesshomaru and Kikyo. That must be why they were mated, because they belonged together in Rin's eyes. She had asked Hitomi what mated meant and she said it was like how humans marry, only in the demon world.

 

“I've got you now!” Kikyo grabbed Rin around the waist and they both fell to the ground.

 

Kikyo growled at the girl as Rin rubbed her face in the snow. They began to roll around, laughing the whole time. They stopped and rested on their backs in the snow, staring at the flakes falling. “Rin is cold, Mama Kikyo,” she said.

 

Kikyo rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow to look down at the girl she thought of as her daughter of sorts. “Well, lets go in. I'll make some hot tea for us while you take a bath and Hitomi is going to fix us some dinner tonight.”

 

“Yea! I get to eat dinner with you tonight!” Rin laughed happily.

 

“Come on, Rin. Let's go in.” Kikyo rose to her feet and leaned down to help Rin to her feet.

 

“That behavior is very unbecoming for the Lady of the Western Lands, priestess.” The voice was even colder than the snow they were in.

 

Both looked over to see the imposing figure in white. He nearly blended in with the white landscape. All except for the red on his top and the blue and yellow of his sash. Kikyo stood still in apprehension while Rin nearly shook with her excitement.

 

“Lord Sesshomaru!” Rin lunged at him and wrapped her arms around him.

 

He showed no expression on his face as his right hand patted the top of Rin's head. Kikyo had seen his eyes become less severe and lighten as he saw the girl. “Rin, you are freezing. Please go inside.”

 

“Can I still have tea with Lady Kikyo?”

 

“We'll see, Rin. Now go inside.” He watched as the girl ran to the palace, he waited until she was inside to turn back to his mate.

 

Sesshomaru looked at his mate's back with disapproval. Surely the woman had more sense than to roll in the snow. Such actions were below her station. Well not below Kikyo, but surely they were below the Lady of the Western Lands. “The Lady of the Western Lands does not just roll in the snow.”

 

Of course he had no words of kindness for her. All he held for her was disdain. Kikyo knew that's why he had left. He had been so disgusted with the idea that he had claimed an undead human mate that he had left because he couldn't bare to look at her. “I'm sorry, my lord.” That was the only way she could even respond as she turned to him and bowed. Her eyes were downcast as he regarded her.

 

His gold eyes narrowed as he felt the insecurity flare within his mate's aura. It was such a strange thing to feel radiating from her. He decided it that it was just a female problem. He had no time for something so trivial. He was tired, cold, and homesick. All he wanted do was take a hot, soothing bath, and then he could worry about his mate. He turned, leaving her in the falling snow. “Meet me in my chambers before the sun sets.”

 

Kikyo watched him walk away in despair. Inuyasha, the man she loved, hated her, her sister would chose Inuyasha over her, and her mate hated her. Gods, she was so good at getting herself in these messes. The only thing she had now was a ten year old girl and she loved her. That was enough for Kikyo. She knew she would just have enough time to have tea with Rin. Maybe Sesshomaru wouldn't want her tonight and she could eat. If not, she was afraid of what the next morning would bring. She refused to tell him, because that would be seen as a weakness in his eyes.

 

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Sesshomaru walked into his bedchamber to see his mate sitting on the edge of the bed. She had changed out of her wet clothing and had pulled on a yellow robe. Her hair was now dry and beautifully combed. As beautiful as she looked, he cocked his head to the side, at the aura she was exuding.

 

There was something wrong about the way she looked. She looked so defeated. So broken. His inner beast howled in outrage that such a passionate creature as his mate, seemed so lost, and for once, Sesshomaru had to agree with it. He might not be pleased with himself that he had chosen her as his mate, but there was nothing he could do about it now. She was his mate and he would treat her as such.

 

He had been shocked when he had met with the neighboring lords and informed them about his mate. They weren't as opposed as he had thought they would be. They actually seemed relieved that they wouldn't have to worry about him siring any half demons. However, they weren't thrilled that he had chose a dead human as his mate. Not that Sesshomaru really cared what others thought of him, but he thought they should hear it from him and not by some blown out of proportion gossip.

 

His focus turned back to his mate. When he had returned home to see Rin and Kikyo playing in the snow, he had been delighted to see the two of them getting along so well. He wanted to join them, but instead he berated Kikyo, after Rin was inside. What was wrong with him? He needed to stop punishing her for his own feelings. It's not like she controlled the way he felt about her. Right now she seemed so insecure, and Kikyo wasn't insecure about anything.

 

He walked over to where she sat and knelt in front of her. Her bangs shielded her eyes from him as he studied her. Her face held no expression, but that wasn't unusual.

 

“I missed you,” he confessed as he nuzzled his face against her knee. That was the truth too. Every night he had been away he had missed her, mainly her body, he had missed her none the less. He hadn't wanted any other woman the whole time he was gone. He thought about what he had told Naraku that day, that she was the only one he wanted, and now knew it was true.

 

Kikyo gasped. She didn't know how to respond to him, so she ran her hands through his hair. Of all the things she thought he could say, that was the one that shocked her the most. “I missed you too.” Kikyo felt him smile and softly smiled herself.

 

“You need to know that since I claimed you as my mate I will treat you as such. Dog demons mate for life and you are my only mate. I will never take another as long as I'm with you. I will be faithful and simply hope that you will do the same.” His lips kissed her wrist.

 

He didn't vow to love her. Kikyo didn't expect him to. She knew that when he never said something that wasn't true. That was below him and everything he was. (No, I didn't forget how he lied to Inuyasha's friends, but he was just making up something to tell them, so he could chase Kikyo). “I will. I promise.” She moved her hands to rest on his left shoulder. With barely a thought and a burst of spiritual power, she had restored his left arm.

 

He jerked back as if she was trying to purify him. His eyes narrowed as he studied it. “I never knew you found me lacking.”

 

Of course she didn't think that he would take an action like that the way Inuyasha would. She was wrong.

 

He stood up with furious gold eyes as he stared at her. “I told you that and this is how repay me. You restore my arm out of pity.” He spat.

 

“That's not how I meant it. You are taking it the wrong way.”

 

He jerked her against him with both arms holding her. “Am I?” His claws dug into her, slicing through the delicate silk of her robe. Blood welled up and stained the yellow fabric.

 

Tears fell down her cheeks as she nodded dumbly. “I only meant to please you by restoring it. If you don't want it, I can make it the way it was a minute before. I thought you wanted it back. I'm sorry, master.” She bowed her head in defeat. She was so humiliated by the way he reacted to her. She should have known that a man as proud as Sesshomaru would have reacted to her the gift the way he had.

 

“Don't call me, master.” His grip loosened a great deal. He could hear that she was sincere by the tone of her voice. He could feel the humiliation and sadness inside her. “Call me, Sesshomaru.” His newly restored left hand moved to touch her face. She flinched as he stroked her face, smearing her blood on the skin. “Does it hurt you when the beast takes you as well?”

 

“No,” she replied as he licked her lips.

 

“Good, because we both intend to take you tonight.” His mouth closed over hers. He didn't know how to say he was sorry for his mistakes, so he did so with his actions, instead.

 

Over and over that night, the two came together.

 

Kikyo never got her food.

 

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Sesshomaru rolled onto his side and propped himself up with his right arm. His sensitive ears heard the rapid, almost panicked breathing next to him.

 

His eyes widened and his whole body stilled in surprise when he stared at the woman. Kikyo laid on her back, green eyes glazed as she stared at the ceiling. Tears coursed down her ashen face and into her dull looking black hair.

 

He couldn't believe the changes that had occurred since he had taken her the previous night. For the first time since he had met her, she appeared as she was.

 

The walking dead.

 

Her face was drawn and almost translucent. Her eyes and cheeks sunken and hollow looking. Her skin looked like parchment and was just as white. Streaks of her own blood marred her face from where he had caressed her face with blood on his hands. Her breasts were covered with scratches and bite marks, as was her stomach. Her hips contained deep puncture marks from his claws where he had gripped her too tightly.

 

“Kikyo?” His hand touched her arm. The only reaction she had was that her breathing became more labored. He rolled on top of her and shook her. Nothing. “Kikyo!”

 

He jumped to his feet and threw open the door. “Hitomi! Hitomi!” He bellowed through the halls.

 

Instead of the pink haired cat demon, Jaken came running into the room. “Yes, master Sesshomaru?”

 

“Where is Hitomi?”

 

“Gone, my lord. She went to see her sister and help her in child birth.”

 

`Damn, she is the only one that can help Kikyo…' Sesshomaru froze. “Jaken, go get Rin, get Ah-Un prepared, we will leave at once.”

 

“Where are we going, my lord?”

 

“To Inuyasha's village. The only person who might know what is wrong with my mate resides there.”

 

Next Chapter: An uneasy visit (to say the least).