InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Life Journal ❯ Chapter 2

Do you know how infuriating men can be one second then the next so lovable and back to impossible so little time? Inuyasha, has again, done just that. The `why's' and `how's' that I stay with him are slowly diminishing. Don't get me wrong, it's as if we are meant for each other, and if love is not what we have, then, tell me, would we be able to anger each other as much and as often as we do? Although there are a few people that would say if he really loves you then he would forgive you as often as need be. . . Tomatoe/tomato, potatoe/potato . . . you get the picture right?

Last night was amazing, and that's to say the very least about it. There are no words to describe what that man does to me. I had gone to bed earlier than he had; I found a pair of very sexy, seductive, `shows off my cute ass' sleeping shorts and a low cut tank top to wear. As often as we used to make love, scarce wasn't even coming close to it! I know, it all heads back to what I said before about smothering him and pushing him away . . . well, I took another approach. Aside from avoiding him all day, I gave him a slightly warmed shoulder in bed. Not to be cruel and heartless, just enough to let him know that I do crave his touch and I do long for his company but I've learned my place and wait for him to come to my side and start things All I had to do was flaunt what I have and act like he wasn't there. Oh what a surprise I got.

So as to not appear that I was waiting for him to join me in bed, I put my earphones on and read a book to pass the time. When he came downstairs I was totally unaware . . . on purpose of course, let's not forget my goal now . . . he pinched my ass to get my attention; such a naughty hanyou.

I said my goodnight to him, (there wasn't any reason to stay up now that I had his attention, duh!) and went to bed, he going to the living room to watch television. After some time, I felt him crawl into bed; My time frame was most likely offset because I was dozing-off quite nicely. I felt him wrap his arm around my waist and pull me closer to him. Such a beautiful arm, and his claws; they terrify me and yet they make me shiver with anticipation of him grazing those sharp claws against my skin. He loves for me to suck each finger and linger . . . and I am daydreaming again. . . If he couldn't smell my arousal it was because I wasn't going to initiate anything. He licked my neck and did so in such a quick and nonchalant manner, I thought he was only toying with me. Pah! Wouldn't be the first time. I ignored his attentions and continued to lay there. I didn't want to fall into the `game' he was playing because I thought it was just that; a game. He'd done so on many occasions and I wasn't going to fall into a tease trap and go to bed longing. If he wants me, well then he will have to be blatant and practically take me roughly before I will give into him. I don't want to smother him or give him reason to think that I was. As I have found out, if it's not the male's idea, it won't work; but if you plant the idea in his head and he sprouts the tree of intelligence, then everything works out. Claps go to me on this one. So with my growing patience and knowledge of this `aged-in-body, child-in-mind' hanyou, he came to me and in such a fashion I was confused. Well you would be too if you were suddenly ripped from some pleasant dream (although this reality was so much better) and savagely attacked by a horny hanyou.

He entwined his hand in my hair and pulled my head back, forceful yet tenderly, he bit my neck making sure to graze my flesh with his fangs; he sucked on my soft neck leaving my skin stinging. The pain was pleasurable and welcomed. In the dark I could only make out the white fluff of hair behind his head. The odd thing was that he never once let me touch him or feel him with my own hands, he would only let me get close enough to kiss him and then he would be the one to terminate the kiss, long before I wanted him to. Apparently I was his for the taking and I didn't have a word in other wise. He took me in his familiar way and I didn't argue. I was his tonight and in some twisted way, I thought it was what he needed; to be in control and to dominate. And maybe if I didn't push, and actually resisted some, he would be more aggressive in the relationship and realize that he misses me as much as I do him. So I let him have his way. I was a little put out that I didn't get my fair share in the deal, but I wasn't going to be selfish. It was his moment and I gave it to him.

Afterwards, we lay there in each other's arms, him still planting kisses on my neck, my cheek and my temples. I had so many emotions floating around in my head it gave me a headache. I was shocked they way he came at me; confused as to what possessed him to do so in the first place; surprised that he did at all; in love more that he did and relieved to know that he still loves me, wants me, and needs me. I couldn't pick one to dwell on they all floated to the surface and I was on the brink of tears but I knew he would smell the salt on my cheeks and suppressed them. They were happy tears; tears of joy that my sweet, wonderful hanyou was still by my side.

Now to go from that loving side of Inuyasha to the side I am going to further describe, makes me question how men can say women are so complicated and hard to deal with. Maybe it's just Inuyasha and he has some rather feminine qualities to his persona and temperament. That's why he is so moody all the time. Oh if he knew how I talked, he'd be fuming and red; steam blowing out his ears. All I would say is `what, are you not comfortable with your sexuality that you are angry at some meaningless words?' That would most likely prove to anger him further. A `Keh' would follow and he would storm off, sit in a tree and pout the rest of the day.

What confuses me more about this interesting man, is that after a night like that, he can be so quick to anger . . . and his fuse; I have never seen such a fuse that burned so hot and so quick in my life.

I had left early to run some errands and when I returned he was up and eating breakfast. I questioned him about having to schedule an appointment for the following day and didn't know if he would rather it be this morning or the next afternoon.

`Which ever, it don't really matter.” He said

`well, it does matter' I said, I walked into the kitchen and leaned on the counter, `because if you are not going to work today I can schedule it for today and avoid the hassle, but if not then I will make it for tomorrow when you get done with work.' I swear what is so hard about it? He bowed his head and growled at me, a low annoyed growl.

I was baffled, is it not a straight enough question? I threw my hands up, defeated . . . again. I walked outside and swept the porch. Thinking better of it and wanting to be as far away from his at the moment, I went to the neighbor's house to visit the horses. They manage to soothe me when my real calming mechanism is the object of me being upset in the first place. `So irritating and frustrating he is!'

Oh for heaven's sake, if he asks me a question, well, take last week for example; I went outside and thought weather blissful and perfect and being quite overdressed, I removed my two heavy sweaters and opted to work in only my light jacket with a tank top underneath. Now, by nature I am always cold, so when I say it's warm out, I figure that it is. And as gruff and tough as Inuyasha would like to pretend he is . . . he isn't. I went back inside to tell him that he needed to get up; it was such a nice day. He came out wearing only a t-shirt and a jacket. Soon as he hit one foot on the ground outside he turned tail and went flying back inside to find something warmer to wear. The very next day the weather proved just as pleasurable. Inuyasha was dressing and asked me, is it warm out? Well, to me it was slightly cooler because the wind was blowing, but because he has more hot flashes than a fifty-year-old woman, I gave him the best description I could. ”It's like yesterday.”

“What the hell is that suppose to mean?” He seems irritable this . . . every . . . morning.

“Just like I said, it's like yesterday.” I said again. He got up and went to the door to look outside and see for himself.

“Why can't you just give me a straight answer?” He opened the door and stepped on the porch.

“I did give you a straight answer, the weather is just like yesterday but you and I had different ideas as too just how cold we were, I figured that would give you an idea that you might want to wear something warmer.” I said gruffly. How can my attitude be so strongly influenced with his? AHHHHH

“It was a straight answer,” his mother said coming out from her room, “it's just not the answer you want to hear.” He just looked at her.

“It's the same answer you would give me.” She put her hands on her hips and walked up to him; she slapped him and grabbed his chin in her hands looking him dead in the eyes.

“Where did I go so wrong raising you?” She sounded so defeated in her tone, the tone I picked up but went completely over mister density's head.

Although he is very rough on the outside, maybe a little thorny too, he does have his sweet, gentle inside that if given enough time and you are keen enough to see, will emerge and grace you with all the love and tenderness you can stand.~