InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Love Handouts ❯ Chapter 11

Blanket Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or any of the characters therein. They are the property of Rumiko Takahashi, and she does a beautiful job!

 

A/N: Please forgive any spelling and grammatical errors.

 

 

 

 

Love Handouts

 

Chapter 11

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daybreak couldn't come soon enough for InuYasha. The torment he went through the night before was unbearable. So many times he wanted to come down from the tree to comfort the crying girl below. Her tears permeated the clearing.

 

There were many times throughout the night when he would hear Shippo sigh, call him a baka, or murmur something no doubt he would never want Kagome to hear under his breath.

 

Finally, after almost thirty minutes of silent tears, with Shippo snuggling deeply against her breast, giving the young girl any comfort he could, her breath evened out, and she fell into an exhausted sleep.

 

He felt like the most heartless bastard on the planet. He thought that by ignoring her, the rift between them would get better. He thought by not opening up to her, the feelings she had for him would lessen, leaving him alone…the way it should be.

 

But the more he ignored her, the more he didn't talk to her…it made it worse, so much worse.

 

He couldn't stand to see her act like she was fine. He couldn't stand to hear her praise others, encourage everyone else, when she, herself, was battling a silent struggle, a struggle that he was part of, no, a struggle in which he was the main problem.

 

He hated himself each time he heard her cry over him. He couldn't stand himself every time she tried to care for him, even though she thought he could care less. And he began to loathe himself when she would look at him, just a simple glance, her smile turning up steadily as she peered at him under her long lashes. That one look…made him want to smile at her too, as he felt himself caring deeper and deeper for her.

 

And that was what was worse of it all, even though he knew she cared for him, and even though with every day that passed he was beginning to care more and more for her, he wouldn't allow her to believe other-wise.

 

He couldn't comprehend the thought of her suffering more because of him. He didn't ever want to make anyone go through what he saw his mother go through, the name calling, the hatred with just a glance. Kagome was too good for that, too good for them, too good for him, too good for any of them.

 

She deserved someone, although he hated to admit it, like that Hobo kid from her time. Someone who knew she was worth something, someone who wanted nothing more then to take care of her, someone who wanted…at all cost, to shower her in unconditional love.

 

No one here would ever be able to do that. The times were too hard. People were too scared, afraid of what loomed in the darkness. No one could truly love her as much as she was capable of loving in return.

 

`So, she is better off on the other side of the well,' he thought sadly as the sun began its rise on the horizon, marking once more…the beginning of a new day.

 

He knew that he should take her back to her time. Make her stay. She would have to listen. The life she wants isn't over here. The life she deserves is with the Hobo kid, as much as he couldn't stand to divulge it.

 

But with everything he knew, with everything he knew he should do, he couldn't. He couldn't force her to stay on her side of the well. He couldn't make her marry another man, and he couldn't maker her fall in love again. Forget about him. He just couldn't do it.

 

As much as he wanted to, as much as his head told him to make her hate him, make her run away, make her never want to come back, his heart wouldn't allow it. His heart would get jealous. His heart would be upset if she left, and he was greedy. He really didn't want to feel that way. So, he allowed her to stay. He allowed her to continue to love him from afar, as he did so himself.

 

And she would never know.

 

He would keep it that way.

 

 

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A/N: Well thank you, thank you for reading thus far! To be honest, this is actually the first chapter I have written in a while, so the transition from chapter 10 to this chapter was a little hard to come up with, but I am quiet pleased with the outcome. I hope everyone is enjoying this, and please remember to review! I love to hear feedback!

 

Kokoronagomu - She is, but it will pass. I assure you! ;-)