InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Love in strange places ❯ A lover to die for ( Chapter 15 )

Chapter 16

She sat in the middle of the room on the floor waiting for Sesshomaru who was approaching. She sat there in silence swimming in her sorrow; she took in the pain and felt as if she was being harshly pushed aside. She had to do the right thing. A single tear slipped down her face as she thought of Sesshomaru. Her love. Or so she thought. * he never loved me… but I can't let him die…he's the only reason I'm living for* she thought as the pain of giving up her love for him over flooded her senses. * can I really push away the love I feel for him…. Or will I be selfish enough to ignore the warning and stay here* her eyes widened at the thought as she choked on a sob. What she had become.

Love was supposed to be pure and wonderful. But she had turned it into a one sided thing. Risking someone's life so she could satisfy her aching heart. *I'm a monster* Kagome dropped her hand in her lap as she looked up at the diamond necklace that the girls would receive.

"I have chosen" whispered around the room as she looked over to the door where Sesshomaru shall be arriving any minute.

……………………… …Sesshomaru……………………&# 8230;……..

Sesshomaru quickened his pace as he heard an inhuman cry that sounded very much like a bird. At first he thought Kagome was being attacked so he sped down the hall ways racing to get to her. But then her scent assaulted his nose. Grief. Guilt. Sadness. Sorrow. Love. And Bitterness. He stood at the door now inches from holding his love but something was wrong. He shivered at the coldness radiating from the room and the sorrow. Sesshomaru had never felt such intense emotions. As he reached for the handle words whispered past him.

"I have chosen" As the rush of sound passed his ears he pushed the heavy doors open.

What was inside was beyond his bewilderment. The grand room was coved in thousands of tiny diamonds or so one would think. But he knew that by the smell it was ice. He moved around the room pass the bed to be only shocked with the appearance of Kagome. She was a bird demon. Not just any bird but an almost god like specie. Her appearance was one of calmness, solitude, and sorrow.

He slowly approached her as if scared to startle the glorious bird. Her bangs covered her eyes from the world only the aura gave off any emotion.

"Kagome…" he whispered quietly as if afraid that one word may shatter the picture she had painted of peace.

Kagome slowly raised her head and leveled her gaze at Sesshomaru forcing the emotions that was ready to emerge deep insider her. The urge to run to him was greater than ever as her eyes filled up with tears. Sesshomaru rushed to her side and embraced her gently pulling her up from the ground. He held her close as if afraid to lose her taking in the smell of melon and roses. Kagome gasped and tears fell down from her eyes making splatter marks upon his shirt. She sobbed as she pulled away turning her head so that she would not have to look him in the eyes.

"Sesshomaru I have to leave…" she whispered while trying to suppress the emotional turmoil going on as her heart pounded in her chest each beat more painful than the next. As the horror look filled Sesshomaru's face her heart took one after another painful beating.

"Kagome..why do you have to…why can't you .." she walked towards the balcony her back facing him as she cut him off.

"Sesshomaru it's time that you know the truth." She said as tears glistened down her cheek, sorrow grasped her soul and proceeded in slowly killing her. " I never loved you Sesshomaru!" she spat out as more tears slid down her pale cheek. Not daring to look him in the eyes for she knew that would be the last straw. She awaited his reaction as she felt her whole body tense up ready to face what ever was coming her way.

"You don't mean that !" Sesshomaru growled as he stared intensly at Kagome's back trying to figure out why she was saying this. She loved him didn't she. Or maybe he was just a replacement for his brother. Rage took over him as he thought of his brother.

"I didn't love you… I was only pretending because…. I wanted the land and did not want Suki to have it.. for in the future you and she were mates." She felt every word of lie that she uttered stab her heart. She felt alone and broke, her will to live was slipping away as she held a hand to her stomach trying to protect what little she had.

"NO!" He roared out as he spun Kagome around taking in her tears filled eyes and her aura of guilt and pain. He tilted her head up to meet his gaze he needed her to tell him to his face that she never loved him. " Say it..tell me that you never loved me.. and you used me out of jealousy for Suki." Kagome wanted this torture to end , she wanted to hold him close and know that she would be forever with him. But she had to choose, his life or her happiness. She looked into his amber pools and tried to force the words to come out of her mouth. His life depended on his. More tears flooded up to the surface. "I… I… " She turned away from him but he refuse to let her go.

"Why are you doing this… why I know you love me Kagome… and I love you!" Sesshomaru said as he rested his chin on her head. She had to push him away, she had to! She will not let him die not if she could some how change it. If she has to sacrifice her self and her heart she'll do it. She pushed away and collapsed on the floor.

She cried her heart out as she mustered all her courage. " Sesshomaru don't you understand! I don't love you! You belong with Suki… leave things be Sesshomaru… leave me be…" she sobbed into her hands. She looked up at his hurt expression with her stormy pools of blue. " Don't you see… I will be you demise… eventually you'll leave me and we'll both be in pain…I don't want to be my mother anymore!" She looked up at him to see his reaction and hoping that he would hate her though her heart was yearning for him. For his kisses, for his love, for his heart, for his soul , for everything he was and what she could not have. Could not allow her self to have.

She felt comforting arms surrounding her. She turned her head up to see Sesshomaru holding her. "Why…why are you doing this…" He looked straight at her and not allow her to move her eyes from his gaze forcing her to tell him the truth. She felt like her whole heart had just shattered. " because you will mate with Suki and I shall be all but a distant memory." She whispered as she tried to convince herself she was doing the right thing.

"Kagome I love you and you only. I will never mate with Suki. You have to know Kagome I will not repeat the mistakes of your father, I will never abandon you or our family." He stated with so much emotion that it astonished her. Then all of the things she's been holding in broke. She flung herself at him.

"Sesshomaru if you stay with me you'll die…!" She cried into his hair praying that he would be the one to leave her behind to save him self because she wasn't strong enough to do it herself.

Sesshomaru's eyes widened at what he heard. So this was why Kagome was pushing him away. Lying about his future and trying to change the fact that she was his mate. "Two months from now the Southern Land will declare war and you will go off and never return. Kikyo gave me a choice." Sesshomaru growled at the name. " She and Suki made a deal. That if I was to disappear forever and Suki becomes mated to you, your life shall be spared." She looked away from him. " It was either to let you die or I'll give my life for yours." She said softly as guilt poured through her, she had failed to save him because of her own selfishness.

"You are my one true love…and I'll never let you go." He whispered in her ears as her eyes widened at the words. He loved her. But still she could not afford to let him know her secret for he was not safe yet. She knew the consequences of changing history. The life forces must be balanced. If one was destined to die but was saved another has to take his or hers place. She looked at the moon from her place in his arms , one hand upon her stomach. She would be the one to replace him. Tears blurred her vision as Sesshomaru cooed her in confusion at why she was tearing again. She wasn't crying for her love. She was crying for forgiveness from her unborn children.