InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ LOVE POISON ❯ Desire And Pain: Love, Lust And Control ( Chapter 6 )

DISCLAIMER: Do I have to keep posting this? I don't own 'em, damn it! Rumiko Takahashi does. So don't sue ::mumbles something about owning them anyway in her twisted hentai dreams, so there::

Thank you all for reviewing! I'm so glad you enjoyed the previous chap! Scherezade, you rock and you actually made This Youkai Musashi blush! If you keep boosting my ego like that girl I'm gonna start believing I'm actually good at this...lol. Yeah, right.

BTW...Did I mention I need reviews? Lots of them? Reviews! More! Begging, bursting into tears, brainwashing or bribing readers for reviews is not below me...

Also I forgot to (conviniently) answer one of the most important questions, this was from KeikoDogDemon at AFFN...um, well...Inu will have to tell Kags this eventually...I have no idea how or when he will yet, but it will have to be before their first time...hopefully the story will write itself like stories tend to do...HAPPY ENDING, remember? This Youkai Musashi never breaks a promise!

 

 

CHAPTER 6: DESIRE AND PAIN: LOVE, LUST AND CONTROL

 

 

Kagome whimpered without really meaning to when Inuyasha suddenly parted from her. She thought she saw a flash of pain and anger cross his golden eyes before he turned his back on her. He was panting and shaking and gripping Tetsusaiga's hilt as if his life depended on it.

 

"Inuyasha..." Kagome said breathlessly, confused and hurt. She slowly realised he hadn't pulled back from her entirely on purpose.

The hanyou seemed to feel just as lonely and confused and...hurt...as she.

Kagome had never seen him shake like this before. And why couldn't he face her? Why had he left her, so abruptly, without a word of explanation?

 

Kagome was out of breath, longing for him, for his touch, for release...she missed his lips the second they abandoned her. All she wanted was for Inuyasha to kiss her into oblivion and never stop. She wondered briefly if this was selfish of her, to want him this much, to need his mouth on hers, to breathe into him and feel him take the breath away from her, to feel this throbbing exquisite pain between her legs and actually enjoy it...wanting to fulfill it but at the same time delighting in the sensations Inuyasha made her feel merely with his kisses...his lips on hers, his tongue licking the sweat off her neck and throat, his teeth careful not to break her skin but persisant, nibbling her here and there...at one point he had sucked so hard on her neck that she was sure he had left a tender bruise.

 

And now he seemed so far away...and Kagome felt more empty and alone than she had ever felt in her entire life.

 

She blinked back tears and heard him speak in a low, husky voice, his tone betraying his words.

"I shouldn't have done that. Not yet. It's too soon," he murmured, breathing heavily, his back still to her. He was growling low in his throat, upset, but not with her.

 

Inuyasha shut his eyes. If he had thought dreaming of Kagome was going to drive him nuts, this was infinitely worse...her kiss...by the gods, her kiss...her scent, never had it been so strong, not even when she was in heat, or as she called it, her 'time of the month'. Sweet torture...his addiction, her lips, her fragance, her.

 

"Did I do something wrong?" Kagome asked shakily, her fingers touching her sore lips. She was going to burst into tears of frustration if he didn't kiss her again soon.

 

She heard him laugh bitterly, in defeat, it seemed. "Stupid wench. I just didn't have the right to do that. I didn't have the right to...to kiss you like that."

 

Inuyasha couldn't tell her that he hadn't just 'talked' with Kikyou earlier, couldn't bear to look at her. Kagome's scent was intoxicating, beckoning to him, and for a moment he thought he would either come on his pants just by smelling her, or pass out into oblivion.

 

What in the seven hells was wrong with him? Why had he done this, so soon? How could he do this to her, to himself, after what had happened with Kikyou?

And why hadn't Tetsusaiga stopped him from turning into his youkai self? What would have happened if he hadn't forced himself to stop?

 

Her strong, musky, enticing femenine scent was driving him over the edge, he was going to lose control entirely.

 

Inuyasha had felt his demon blood screaming at him to take her right there and then. He was frightened.

 

Three options...come in his pants and make a fool of himself, lose consciousness and slip into yet another wet dream he was certain would lead to a blissful coma he would never want to wake up from, or let his full youkai control him and take her, over and over again on the ground, mercilessly.

 

Shit, he had hurt her again. He could smell her tears, and the salty, bitter scent mingled with her sweet arousal was too much for him. He wanted to comfort her, wanted to relieve this unbearable ache eating at them both.

 

'No tears, Kagome, please, no tears I can't bear it...I won't hurt you, not anymore...I won't break you...I can't...I can't fight my blood...'

 

"Inuyasha..." Kagome said, her voice so low and small he didn't think human ears would have heard her.

 

Inuyasha swallowed the words he really wanted to say to her, and instead he muttered, hurriedly and hoping she wouldn't notice him trembling: "Let's go back to camp. Everyone will be waking up by now...I have to hunt for breakfast, or Shippo will throw a fit."

 

That was a blatant lie, of course. Shippo would much rather have pocky Kagome brought him from her time than the meat he could provide, and the kitsune never threw a fit over breakfast. The brat would throw a fit, though, if he awakened to find Kagome gone.

 

She nodded her head even though Inuyasha couldn't see her, and tried to stop her confused tears from flowing to no avail.

 

Why? Why had he pushed her away? Okay, so maybe she wasn't as ready as she'd thought for the next step...her body certainly was, that part of it was clear as day, but...he had practically said that he'd regretted kissing her...

 

"Inuyasha...look at me...please..." Kagome begged of him.

 

The hanyou turned around slowly and the look in his eyes was not one of regret, but of fear and barely contained desire and...was that guilt? He felt guilty for kissing her? For wanting her?

 

His arousal had been as obvious to her as hers had been to him, she was certain of that...but...who was it that he wanted? He had clearly said that he didn't want or love Kikyou that way...but didn't she, Kagome, look just like Kikyou? The woman he couldn't forget? The one he'd said he would always love?

 

"I can't face this right now, Kagome, all right?" Inuyasha snapped, breaking through her thoughts. "Just... forget it. I could hurt you. I mean, really hurt you. I don't want that. We don't have time for this. We have to hunt down Naraku and find the shards..."

 

Kagome felt like she had been slapped. Just forget it? We don't have time for this?

 

She clenched her fists at her sides, briefly considering sitting him til kingdom come, but instead decided to glare at him and simply turn on her heels and walk back to camp.

 

She was half expecting Inuyasha to stop her and shout at her, telling her not to be stupid, that he had taken them far from camp and that she didn't know her way back, would get lost, probably attacked or kidnapped, youkai would now not only be attracted by the shards but by her strong scent, and he would have to save her pathetic human ass yet again, reminding her of how useless she was.

 

He didn't.

When Kagome glanced back over her shoulder, Inuyasha was gone. But she could still feel his youki nearby.

She looked up. She didn't see him, but she knew he was following her from above, leaping from tree to tree.

 

Kagome's lips were burning, tingling and very sore from Inuyasha's kisses, and her whole body ached. Her sex pulsed and contracted, the moisture between her legs a reminder of the unfullfilled release her body was demanding. A release she knew only Inuyasha could give her, by the gods she had nearly come just from his hot, wet kisses...how was it possible, that he had this overwhelming effect on her? How could this pain actually feel so...so good? She longed for him, desired him, would never admit out loud that she desperately needed to feel him inside her, filling her completely...gods this was not helping...she was becoming more and more aroused by the second.

 

Too many emotions for Kagome to handle at once...her heart was breaking into a million pieces, her anger was boiling within her, and she felt embarrassed and ashamed that she was still aroused despite her confusion and pain, and tried to understand, to pierce all these emotions together and cling to the one she needed the most. Her love for him.

 

Of course Inuyasha was following her. It was his duty to protect her, was it not? She was just a burden. A burden and a pathetic human and a shard detector and still...he had kissed the breath out of this pathetic human, told her he needed her, kissed her like his life had depended on it, shown her he cared, more than cared for her, and she had returned his feelings with equal passion and sweet abandon.

 

And then he just had to ruin everything and tell her to forget it.

 

She knew he could smell the tears she couldn't stop from flowing or the moisture between her legs, the persistant pulsing of her core like feverish heartbeats that she couldn't soothe. Her thighs were sticky with her own arousal.

 

We don't have time for this.

 

Her first real kiss. And his, too. Was she supposed to just forget it? Could he so easily toss her aside and just forget it?

Kagome's anger subsided, now she just felt frustrated and beyond confused.

 

Why? What had made him stop? He'd said he could hurt her...did he mean his youkai side? Did he stop because he was concerned about her safety?

 

"Inuyasha." She called his name, but didn't raise her voice. He'd hear her anyway. "Please...you have to talk to me. Come down. Don't make me say 'it'."

 

When nothing happened, Kagome opened her mouth to say the 'S' word, but closed it when she saw a flash or red and silver, and Inuyasha landed soundlessly in front of her, his eyes apparently finding the ground much more interesting than her.

 

"Look at me." Kagome whispered.

She knew he hadn't come down just because she had threatened him with sitting him.

He looked ashamed and guilty and sad, but behind all these emotions she couldn't entirely comprehend she could also sense something else completely, something he was reluctant, terrified, to show.

Still, Inuyasha wouldn't look at her.

 

"Inuyasha..." Her voice trembled.

"I can't," he said in a heartbreaking voice, so unlike him.

 

Kagome grabbed two fistfuls of white hair and pulled hard, forcing him to look at her. He still said nothing, didn't even flinch.

 

'This is about Kikyou,' Kagome thought. 'You know it is, he only acts this way when he's been with her...but he didn't deny it, he never really does, he saw her earlier...so why don't you just ask him what happened? What was it that Kikyou said to him that's making him feel so...broken? He looks like a lost little boy. Did she...did she hurt him? And why now, why did he pick now to say that he cares, that he needs me, why did he kiss me...like that...now? I finally know how he feels...sort of...I always knew that he cared for me...but his kiss...and here I thought I could be happy for a while, be with him...and he pushes me away, with the excuse of us not having time for this, and asks me to just forget. Forget what? His kisses, or his words? Words I longed to hear from his lips for so long...his first real kiss, and it was all mine. My first real kiss...and I wouldn't have kissed anyone else, and the gods forbid me but...if he had just taken me back there, I would't have stopped him. So okay, this is not the best of times, he's obviously upset about something...and the jewel is not complete and Naraku is still out there...why is he acting like this all of a sudden? Is it because of Naraku? Is it Kikyou? Or could it be...me?'

 

She couldn't ask him all this because she was scared to death of his answers.

 

"Fine!" Kagome finally snapped, letting go of his hair. "Be that way! Just forget it, you say? I will! I'm going home! And don't you dare follow me!" She was yelling at him now, his ears had flattened against his skull and his golden eyes reflected his hurt and grief like open windows to his wounded heart.

 

Inuyasha was hurting. Hurting like she was. But he had hurt her. Again. Her heart was broken. Again.

 

"If you were afraid your demon side would hurt me, Inuyasha, then you have absolutely no idea how much you've hurt me today with your words!" Kagome said, praying her voice didn't sound as weak as she felt, summoning all of her will into these words, trying to filter some of her anger into her voice although she felt as bad and hurt for him as he was feeling. She would not allow her anger to be weakened by the devastated look on Inuyasha's face.

 

The silence that she got from this statement was heavy, and much worse than if he had yelled back at her and insulted her. It was so...so full of pain and guilt Kagome couldn't take it. She couldn't stay angry with him while he was like this, but she could damn well try her best. She had the right to be angry, darn him!

True, Inuyasha was clearly hurt, but she didn't for the life of her understand why, and she had just... let him hurt her again! What had she done to him to hurt him so? Was she the cause of his pain? Was Kikyou the reason of his guilt?

 

"I don't understand you! And you know what? Right now, I don't even want to try! I'm leaving. I don't know for how long. But you can't play with me like this, Inuyasha, I won't let you!"

 

"I wasn't playing." Inuyasha mumbled.

 

"Oh? What were you doing then? Were you lying when you said you loved me?"

 

Inuyasha stared at her, golden eyes wide. He had never actually said those words to her...but hadn't he tried to let her know, through his kiss, through his actions, that he loved and wanted her more than anything?

 

"I don't want to hurt you." He repeated, beaten. And in a barely perceptible whisper, he added, "and I wasn't lying."

 

Kagome didn't hear this. "Well, guess what? You already did! Why did you say and do what you did, if you were just...going to take it all back, as if it meant nothing to you? It meant everything to me you...you stupid dog! Inuyasha, you insensitive jerk! I hate you!" She cried.

 

This time, Inuyasha did flinch and looked as if he was the one about to cry.

 

It meant everything to me...

I hate you!

 

"Kagome..." Inuyasha tried to reach out for her.

 

She stepped back. "Don't you come near me! I don't want to hear you! You say you don't have time for this? Fine, I don't have time for this either!" Her eyes filled with angry tears. "I can't believe you! SIT! BAKA! SIT! INUYASHA - SIT! - NO - SIT! - BAKA - SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT SIT!" Kagome screamed, grimacing despite of herself at each loud, painful crash his body made when it hit the ground.

 

She was immediately sorry for sitting him and causing him physical pain when she saw that he remained motionless and didn't even attempt to fight the curse or open his mouth to complain. He was so silent in fact she was afraid for a moment she had gone too far.

 

'Kagome you idiot, don't do this to yourself. You will NOT feel sorry for him. You will NOT apologise. He had it coming...didn't he?' She thought, and decided that before she could regret it any more than she already did, and before Inuyasha had time to recover from the subduing spell, she had to get away from him.

 

And so she broke into a run. She ran off in the direction of the well, which she knew was opposite their camp.

 

Kagome ran and ran, blinded by her tears, away from Inuyasha, away from everything, away from the pain, she ran until she collapsed on the ground, her sobs wrecking her small body. She had no time to feel sorry for herself either. She had to keep running, had to reach her time before Inuyasha caught up with her, which she was certain he would. Which she was almost hoping he would.

 

She stood up, her legs barely supporting her weight, and ran clumsily, tripping more than once, out of breath, out of tears, and by the time she reached the well, Inuyasha was standing in front of it.

 

Kagome wasn't surprised, or angry that he was blocking her way. What did surprise her however was that he wasn't yelling at her for sitting him or for even considering returning to her time without his consent.

 

Inuyasha's eyes didn't show sadness or guilt anymore, but he wasn't angry either. In fact, she couldn't read his expression at all, and that scared her.

 

"I meant it, Inuyasha..." She whispered.

"So did I." He replied, his voice low.

"Let me go." Kagome's voice somehow lacked conviction.

 

'Baka, baka. Kagome you stupid girl, just sit him again, sit him and jump into the well, jump and don't look back. Jump and don't...feel.'

 

"No." Inuyasha stated. His tone, however, was firm, yet imploring.

"Inuyasha..." Kagome started.

"No!" He clenched his fists at his sides and bared his fangs at her.

 

Kagome closed her eyes for a second. "Why did you push me away?" She whispered finally.

 

"Because if I hadn't, then it wouldn't have stopped there. And you're not ready. I'm...I'm not ready."

 

"I wouldn't have stopped you." Kagome looked into his eyes, gold flashing crimsom for just a second...or was it her imagination?

 

"I know that, you stupid bitch! That's not the point! Don't you get it? I would have hurt you!" Inuyasha finally snapped. He swallowed hard and when he spoke next his voice was calmer. "I want this, Kagome. I want you, but...not like this. It's not the time. And there's something you don't know..."

 

"I don't think I want to know." She could barely get the words out.

 

"But you have to. If you still let me love you then...if you still trust me..."

 

"Nothing will stop me from loving you, or trusting you." She said. "What are you afraid of?"

 

"Feh. I'm not afraid."

 

Kagome glared at him. "Silly me. The great almighty Inuyasha can't afford to be afraid now can he?"

 

Inuyasha fell silent.

 

"You hurt me. You hurt me so badly." Kagome said, her voice breaking.

 

"I know. And I'm sorry. You know I'm not one to apologise. But Kagome...it could have been worse. Much worse. We can't...let ourselves get carried away like that again. Not until we're both ready. I can't...I can't hold him back. If I hadn't pushed you away..."

 

She nodded slowly. "Him. Your demon side? But Inuyasha..." She swallowed. "I...I'm not afraid of you. How many times have I faced you as a full youkai? And how many times have you hurt me then? And you have Tetsusaiga with you, it seals your youkai blood, doesn't it? How..."

 

"Idiot. Shit, you were stupidly brave all those times, and careless and clearly not thinking..." Inuyasha started.

 

Kagome glared daggers at him. Inuyasha sighed, a silent apology written all over his confused and tired face.

 

"It was different then, Kagome. Tetsusaiga keeps my blood sealed only when I sense death. But I don't know if it works when I feel...other things. And you never had to face a full youkai in need of..." He blushed and couldn't finish the sentence.

 

"Mating?" She filled in for him in a tiny, equally embarrassed voice.

 

Inuyasha bit his lip. "Yeah." He mumbled. "I...I felt my youkai awakening in me...Tetsusaiga did nothing to stop it. I wasn't exactly feeling...threatened." He chuckled bitterly.

 

No, threat had most certainly not been what he had felt at all. And if his stiffened member pushing and pressing against Kagome hadn't been enough proof for her, then he definetely didn't have to spell it out for the object of his desire. It was embarrassing enough as it was.

 

"I thought Tetsusaiga would help but...it just didn't. I had to stop it. Or else...I would have...would have...taken you. By force." Inuyasha flinched. "Shit! I fucking hate this! I hate being...me!" He turned his back on her, his claws digging into the edge of the well, leaving scratching marks on the wooden surface.

 

Kagome pondered this. Despite the pain in her heart, she understood a little better now and felt ashamed of herself for being that angry before, for not seeing or sensing this sooner, and she certainly didn't want Inuyasha to hate himself.

She loved him. There weren't three Inuyashas as far as she was concerned; human, hanyou, and youkai...they were just...him. She loved everything that was him.

 

Kagome didn't find him disgusting when he turned full youkai...he was still Inuyasha. What she feared was not his nature, but the fact that he could forget himself, forget her, forget his heart and soul.

 

But she had helped him through those times, hadn't she? And she would do it again, even if it meant he could and probably would hurt her. As long as she could help him, save him...hadn't he said so himself? That she had saved him from himself?

 

"But that's not all of it, is it? There's something else. Something that's hurting you. And you're afraid to tell me." Kagome insisted.

 

His shoulders slumped and he slowly turned around to face her as she frantically searched his face for any indication of what was so obviously tearing him apart. It wasn't the threat of his youkai blood...it was...something else entirely...

 

Inuyasha looked taken aback. How did she know him so damn well? Was he really that easy to read?

He wished for a moment he possessed Sesshoumaru's skill at masking his every emotion.

 

"It's...it's complicated," he said lamely. "Come on, wench, let's go back to camp. We don't want to worry the others."

 

Kagome sighed, suddenly feeling Inuyasha's burden like her own, wanting to comfort him if he would only let her. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his waist, completely taking him by surprise. Had she not been feeling so devastated, she would have smiled at this.

Inuyasha had been kissing her so...so boldly...only a while ago, and now he was actually blushing because she'd simply hugged him.

 

'Darn him, he can be so freaking cute sometimes...'

Kagome thought in vague amusement that if she ever called him 'cute' to his face he would feel outraged and just...not yell at her, but pout...further proving her point. This time, she did smile a little.

 

"Kagome?" Inuyasha whispered, feeling her relax as he hesitately wrapped his arms around her, pressing his hands on her small back, wondering what on earth she was thinking of. Why was she being so nice to him after he'd pushed her away?

 

Why indeed...simply because she was Kagome. His sweet, understanding, far too good for him Kagome. He nearly smiled despite of himself. This power the little miko possessed...she was just too nice for her own damn good. Too forgiving.

 

Inuyasha's near smile turned into a grimace, thinking about what had happened with Kikyou. No, not even Kagome would forgive what he had done. And even if she found it in her generous, loving heart to forgive him, she would never forget it. She would never trust him again. It didn't matter that he had begged the dead priestess to stop, that he had been disgusted by the act when it was too late, that he had thought Kikyou was Kagome, screamed Kagome's name as he'd climaxed...it hadn't been Kagome, and it hadn't been a dream like many others, it had been fucking real.

 

Inuyasha wished he could turn back time, wished he had never gone off to clean himself, wished he was still back at camp, dreaming of Kagome; her dripping, naked wet sex before him, her juices flooding over his swollen manhood...but then again, if he had been still asleep, Inuyasha would have never taken Kagome away from camp and they would have never kissed, he would have never told her he loved her.

Not that he'd said those words...but he...he cared. Fuck he hadn't even fooled Kagome, not that it had been his intention...he'd wanted her to realise what he'd been meaning to say but couldn't put into words.

And she'd said so herself...asked him if he'd been lying when he'd 'said' he loved her. Shit, he was a fucking open book.

 

And she was so close again, pressed against him, dear Kami...he wanted to kiss her again...

 

He knew it was wrong, now, to attempt to do it. He would only succeed in confusing her further and he wasn't sure if he could hold his youkai blood back.

 

A part of him knew it was just luck he had been able to win over his youkai side back there.

 

At least Inuyasha know understood something.

 

His youkai blood wanted to take Kagome mindlessly, to pound and pump into her viciously until she passed out, to feed off her fear like a wild animal.

 

His human side however, wanted only to please her, to make her as happy as she made him, to make sweet love to her, to worship her like the goddess she was in his eyes.

 

As a hanyou, Inuyasha wanted to mark her as his mate, to have his Kagome by his side forever, to claim her as his and give her the same claim over him. Once they became mates, no one could touch her. She would be his, truly his. His bitch. His beloved. His lover and his love. And he would be only hers. Always and forever.

 

All three sides of Inuyasha wanted to possess her. But his youkai side had retreated when the hanyou had said to it that he loved her.

 

Was his youkai side even capable of feeling love?

 

Until now, he'd never had to deal with his youkai blood on this matter...all that bastard wanted was to kill and smell the fear and blood of the innocent and guilty alike, to know he was the cause of it and proud of it. He had no friends, no enemies...humans and youkai alike, it didn't matter, as long as he could soak himself in death, gloat in the pleasure and thrill of killing, maiming, destroying. He could only see red, could only feel hatred and fury. He had no soul, no heart, would show no mercy. Except now the bastard could also feel lust, insatiable, violent, ruthless lust. For Kagome.

That bastard was him.

 

And now the bastard wanted to take Kagome. Not kill her, but possess her. The result, Inuyasha knew, would be the same. He'd be so oblivious to her that he could and would indeed kill her, roughly taking her and ignoring her pain and screams, or the fact that she was just human and could simply break in half, literally, from his mindless thrusts...he'd kill her while taking her, and Inuyasha knew the monster wouldn't give a shit, as long as he had her, he probably would keep fucking her brains out even when she lost consciousness...

 

Inuyasha wouldn't let him, damn him! He wouldn't let the bastard touch a single hair on Kagome's head.

 

She could try and sit him of course, but if Tetsusaiga hadn't worked then...did he have any reasons to believe the subduing spell would?

 

Inuyasha would die a thousand deaths before he let that happen to his Kagome.

 

He'd have to have a long talk with Myouga on this matter. Until then, he would stay as far away from Kagome as possible.

 

It shattered his heart to pieces, but he would actually have to ask her to go back to her world for a while.

 

He hated this. Hated himself. But he loved Kagome. And that was all that mattered now.

 

He was so deep in thought he didn't notice at first Kagome was stroking his face tenderly, speaking to him.

"Inuyasha..."

He looked at her almost timidly. He quickly kissed her forehead and broke away from her embrace.

 

"Feh. Come on, bitch, let's go." Inuyasha started walking away from her before she could stop him, but heard her soft little voice behind him.

 

"Do you still want me to forget it?" She all but whimpered.

 

He stole a golden glance over his shoulder and sighed. "No. I don't regret what happened. But I still think it was too soon. It was my fault, I should have waited...waited to tell you that I...um...have feelings for you. But I don't want you to forget. I don't want to forget. But we have to try for now. Understand, wench?"

 

Kagome bit her lip. For now. She nodded slowly. "Not really but...I love you, Inuyasha. I will wait." Kagome said softly.

 

How amazing that these simple words coming from her plump, delicious lips could bring him down to his knees. He wanted to hear her say them more often, those three words like a feather light caress to his soul, to the very core of his being.

 

I love you, Inuyasha.

 

"You will tell me what's wrong, won't you? When you're ready?" Kagome insisted, hesitantly.

 

"Feh. Move it wench. Let's go." He squatted and offered Kagome his back. She climbed on and sighed softly, her breath tickling his ears.

 

"Stop that!" Inuyasha hissed.

 

"What?" Kagome asked, completely clueless.

 

"Don't...breathe!" He barked at her.

 

"How am I supposed to do that, baka?" She replied, annoyed. Understanding dawned. She nearly smirked.

 

His ears. It had to be. When she had stroked his ears before, he had moaned loudly and rubbed harder against her.

 

"Okay, Inuyasha. I'll try not to breathe on your ears." She said casually.

Inuyasha stiffened. "Bitch thinks she's so smart." He mumbled, breaking into a run.

Damn her. Tempting little bitch. She knew.

 

He couldn't stop the blood rushing to his cheeks, thankful that she couldn't see his blushing face.

The fastest they got to camp, the better. He didn't think he could bear carrying her on his back at the moment without going over the edge completely.

 

He wondered if he could ever do that again...it felt so nice, too nice...her closeness, her warm body pressed against his back...just the thought of not being able to travel with her like this was enough to make him whimper.

 

Kagome ignored his mumbling, and resisted the urge to giggle. It felt good, being able to make him feel this way just by...well, just by breathing.

 

And he had taken it back and told her he didn't want to forget what had happened between them, that he didn't regret kissing her or baring his heart to her as much as he'd allowed himself to.

 

She knew something was bothering him still. He'd tell her when he was ready. She'd wait. She loved him and he had told her, without words, that he loved her back. In a way, he told her everyday. Except she needed to hear it and today she had...that Inuyasha needed her, that she was the only one he wanted.

 

Yes, there was something he was reluctant to tell her. Something that was consuming him and eating him alive. She longed to soothe him, to kiss his pain away.

 

But for now, with the wind playing with her hair and the natural fragance of fresh grass, pine and wilderness of Inuyasha's silvery hair, his silky tresses caressing her face, she felt free. She felt loved.

 

And when Inuyasha was in a better mood, she would casually blow on his ears while riding on his back, would secretly smile at the thought that she was making him feel good.

 

Her anger and sadness were washed away by the morning breeze and she clung tightly to Inuyasha's shoulders, resisting the urge to kiss the tip of each adorable little ear. There would be time for that. When they were ready.

 

Inuyasha was right. Things had to be done.

 

Naraku was somewhere out there. No one was completely safe until that was over. Inuyasha was concerned about her, worried about his youkai nature, he had told her that much.

 

Whatever else it was that was bothering him and he was so afraid to reveal to her...well, he would tell her when he thought the time was right.

And Kagome would help him go through whatever that was.

 

She sighed and lied her head on his shoulder. By the time they reached camp, Kagome was sound asleep, a small, contented smile playing on her lips.

 

TBC

 

AN: Urgh, don't like this chap...something seems wrong somehow. Opinions? Review onegai! Happy New Year to all! Hugs! Please REVIEW!!!

Thanks SO much to Scherezade, again, you being the talented writer you are I can't believe how sweet and wonderful you're being to me, and your reviews mean the world to me and make me so happy! As for the rest of you ::glare:: REVIEW DAMN IT! PLEEEASE!!!