InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ LOVE POISON ❯ The Heart Of The Wind ( Chapter 15 )

DISCLAIMER: Same old, same old. Don't own, don't sue. Keh.

 

I'm SO SORRY everyone! It's been so long since I last updated ::ducks as tomatoes fly at YM::

It will take me longer to update than before but this fic is going to be finished (believe me, it's just begun!) So thank you all for your reviews and your support! Keep 'em coming!!! First of all, all my thanks go to the amazing, talented, awesome, beyond cool, funny, sweet and marvelous Trusuprise! She's helped me more than she will ever know! Thanks SO much girl, you're awesome! YM luvs ya!!! Huge hugs and my endless gratitude to the gorgeous Trusuprise, winner of the Best Rl Baka EVAR Award! Shirt! (don't mind me, I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it) I couldn't have done this without you, girl and you know it!

As always, thanks to the kawaii, wonderful, incredible writer, co-author and my friend Scherezade (I miss you so much, dear!)

Thanks to the amazing artist Becca Danielle (she made a gorgeous fanart for my fic, it's awesome! I'm beyond flattered!) When she thinks it's finished (it looks perfect to me now!) I'll post the link so you can all see how talented she is!

On to the fic! You might consider this a 'filler', and maybe yell at me "THIS took you so damn long?!" but trust me, it's important for later chaps and it was harder to write than you'd think! I really hope you like it, cause it took me ages... and don't forget to REVIEW! Love it? Hate it? Let me know!

 

 

CHAPTER 15: THE HEART OF THE WIND

 

 

It was the Night of the New Moon. The very same night Kikyou had visited Naraku's palace, her defeat in getting Inuyasha to respond to her guiding her blindly to the dark hanyou's domains, searching for what he had to offer.

 

The dead miko was still there, yet Naraku had dismissed Kagura and for that, the Wind Sorceress was relieved. The feeling of dread that had settled over Kagura remained, but as for now, the wind youkai flew on her feather, coursing through the night skies, savouring the feeling of temporary freedom.

 

Naraku had given her no specific orders, so Kagura could roam as she saw it fit. She sighed, and when she did, the wind sighed along with her.

Kagura allowed herself a tiny smile, as she shut her crimson eyes and let the wind caress her face, her hair, her very soul.

 

Freedom.

 

Kagura sighed again, this time in near despair, and bit her bottom lip. She didn't know where she was heading, all she knew was that she wanted to be as far away from Naraku and that creepy dead witch Kikyou as she possibly could.

 

Controlling the wind, she lowered her feather and landed on a hill. Her bare feet made no sound when they hit the grassy earth, and Kagura plucked the now small feather back into her dark hair.

She looked around, and sensing she was alone for the time being, decided to rest there. Sitting at the top of the hill, she bent her knees and rested her entwined fingers on them, laying her chin on top of her hands and gazing towards the horizon.

 

The New Moon. Inuyasha would be human tonight. She had never revealed the inu-hanyou's secret, and she knew she never would. If Naraku ever found out about the New Moon, the nights Inuyasha spent trapped in his human body, the bastard would not hesitate to destroy the inu-hanyou in his defenseless human form.

Naraku would wash his hands as usual, he would probably send her to dispose of Inuyasha in his weakaned state, and Kagura knew she would not live to tell the tale of her calculated defeat if that were to happen.

It would not be the first time she had 'faked' a battle with Inuyasha and his 'pack', under the watchful, eerie eyes of Naraku's hateful insects.

 

Kagura had her own reasons for keeping her silence. She believed Inuyasha had a pretty good chance at destroying the bastard that had enslaved her. Not as good a chance as Sesshoumaru, of course; Kagura knew without a shadow of a doubt the inu-youkai was the most skilled and powerful demon in Japan. If anyone could finally put an end to Naraku's life, it was him.

 

"Then what the hell are you waiting for, baka?" She murmured to the emptiness. The wind did not give her an answer.

Kagura looked up at the dark skies, wondering when the cursed creatures, the saimyoushou, would come looking for her.

Her freedom in disguise never did last long...

 

Her thoughts drifted to the dead miko. Kagura shuddered in spite of herself. The wind was gentle, and the secret whisper of the breeze saved only for her was comforting, yet she was still troubled.

Why, back at the palace, had she felt that something was expected of her and that it had to do with Naraku's new plot, whatever that might be? And why had Naraku sent her away while the dead miko was still in his domains?

 

Kagura shook her head to clear her mind of any disturbing thoughts and tried to relax, remembering that, at the time, all she had wanted while she was still back in Naraku's palace had been to fly as far away from her 'master' and the little witch as she could.

 

Kagura decided to ignore any unwelcomed thoughts of the dark hanyou and the creepy dead miko who had once been a kind priestess, yet who had become another of Naraku's victims...

Kagura should have felt at least a pang of sympathy for Kikyou, and yet she didn't. The miko had changed.

Kikyou obviously wanted revenge on Naraku...but somehow that sentiment didn't quite fit into the picture Kagura had just witnessed on her depature.

 

One did not strike a deal with an enemy...especially not with Naraku, and Kikyou should know better than that.

Did the miko honestly believe he would let her have a body that could feel for long?

No, Kagura didn't think so. Kikyou was not stupid.

The miko knew Naraku well, she must know that if she settled for his terms, she was going to get less than what she was bargaining for...

And yet, for some reason...Kikyou had agreed.

 

Was Kikyou's hatred for the inu-hanyou that she had loved fifty years ago, whom she still blamed for her demise, just like she blamed Naraku for her tragic fate so powerful? Could Kikyou's jealousy and contempt for the young girl that was her reincarnation be so blinding...that the ressurrected miko would willingly give Naraku what he wanted from her, fully knowing that she was walking right into yet another one of his twisted games?

 

Kagura's frown, accentuated by thoughts of Kikyou, lessened slightly as the image of Kikyou in

her mind faded to that of the dead miko's duplicate; that human girl, Kagome...Kagura actually respected the young miko. Kagome was strong willed, and she was...well, she was different. Kagome was no ordinary human, and she was no ordinary miko either. There was just something about her...

 

Kagura sighed, this time in annoyance, as her delicate, white hands rose to her chest. There were no heartbeats there, of course.

That bastard Naraku had her heart in his filthy hands...he owned her life.

She still believed it had been some sort of sick joke on Naraku's part, that he had made her able to manipulate and control the winds, to feel like the wind...and yet incapable of being free herself.

 

She recalled her words to her sister Kanna, so long ago, when they had believed Naraku was dead, finally dead. Perhaps Kagura would never truly be happy...she had certainly not felt happy back then...not even knowing Naraku was no more.

When Kanna had asked of her what Kagura truly wanted, she had been incapable of answering the void youkai truthfully.

 

What did she want, really? Why, to be free...she was the wind after all. That had been Kagura's automatic answer. But hadn't she felt free at that moment? Naraku was dead, she had thought, she was free...she was supposed to be happy. And yet, she had realized when Kanna had asked her this that she was neither free nor happy.

 

When Kaguya had promised Kagura true freedom...she had fallen right into Naraku's trap. If she had believed she was free back then...why had she helped the fake tenyou then? Kagura knew the answer to that question all too well; she had aided Kaguya simply because Kagura knew she had not been happy. She had always believed that all she needed to find happiness was her freedom. Her heart had been beating in her chest, she could feel it, she could do anything, go anywhere she pleased, and back then she could have wept, more out of disbelief than joy.

 

Had she unconsciously known that her freedom was just...temporary? The way Kikyou's new body would be?

No, Kagura had been so damn sure Naraku was dead and gone; she had her heart back, what Kagura had longed for for so long, she had her freedom, she was the Wind. The bastard was dead.

But in the end, Naraku had been using her, using all of them. He'd been biding his time, faking his death. The dark hanyou had been waiting for the right moment to merge with Kaguya, to have eternal youth, he'd fooled Inuyasha and his pack...

 

Kagura's thoughts drifted to the demon slayer's brother; the boy who had been brought back from the dead with no recollection of his past through the powers of a Shikon shard...

 

Kohaku...Kohaku had been free for a little while too, hadn't he? He had been where he belonged... with his sister, the girl who would protect him and give him a home, love...everything the boy longed for and deep in his heart, in the darkness that clouded his memories, believed he didn't deserve.

 

Kagura had been happy for Kohaku, although she would never admit to that. She actually liked the human boy, Kagura felt closest to him than she had ever felt to her own sister, Kanna.

They were both slaves, puppets, Naraku's minions. The boy was so young, so innocent, so...human.

Kagura enjoyed the brief conversations she had with the young exterminator. He was the only one she could really talk to, after all. Even when she babbled on and on and Kohaku would nod every now and then or utter a shy, tiny "yes"...at least she knew she was not talking to herself.

 

Kagura had begun doing that a lot, talking to herself...at least the wind listened to her, although more often than not, it did not answer her. And it never gave her a solution, not that she expected it to. The wind was free...and although Kagura considered herself the free wind, she knew it was just an utopy, something she had chosen to believe, and in that she believed with all her being.

 

Sometimes she wept inside, when Naraku's hold on her was too strong, when Kagura just knew she would never really be free...and still, she asked questions aloud to the wind, but she had started feeling foolish soon enough and had stopped, so now she just talked, voiced her fears, her secrets, and the wind accepted her and soothed Kagura with its invisible, annoyingly silent comfort.

 

Kanna was a good listener...and in the beginning, she had gotten along so well with the void youkai. When had that changed? When Naraku had ceased to trust Kagura, of course...Kanna was faithful to her master and creator first and foremost.

 

After all, Kanna had been the one who had led Kagura to Naraku's cell...Kagura had never been one to ignore the warnings screaming at her in her head, she had followed Kanna, she had went down those steps, so long ago, it seemed, and she had stumbled upon the palace's basement...the palace's torture chamber, as she called it, where Naraku had locked her up in that stinking, cold cell, holding the free wind in chains for days.

 

She'd truly believed she would die then. Until, of course, Naraku had come to her and informed her she had 'a job to do'.

Anything, anything to get out of that prison. If her existance had been an imaginary, yet painfully real prison to Kagura before, Naraku had made it a reality for her during those unbearable days. He had locked the free wind in an underground cell; Kagura's wrists and feet had been inmovilized by the enchanted chains... she couldn't breathe, she couldn't move, she couldn't...feel. She was nothing. Naraku had made sure she understood she was nothing.

 

Kagura had realized that the boy, Kohaku, was trapped in chains as well, not real chains, but the chains of Naraku, the prison of his repressed thoughts, and that neither she or the boy could escape them, they could not escape him.

The boy's mind was a blank, and nothing was easier for Naraku to manipulate than an empty shell of what used to be a young, carefree boy.

 

Yes, Kohaku was a victim. Not that Kagura would ever think of herself as a victim. But she understood the boy only too well. And he seemed to wordlessly understand her as well. Kagura never spoke of Kohaku's past, because she knew the boy would lose his mind if he recovered his memory, if he remembered what he had done under Naraku's influence. A child, an innocent child turned into a murderer, but would Kohaku understand it had not been him who had done those awful things? Kagura didn't think so. So she kept it to herself. What would be the point? She didn't want the boy to suffer.

 

He was a puppet, but at least he wasn't out of his mind. Unless...unless he could fight it, fight Naraku's hold over him...break free at last. Maybe Kohaku stood a chance...Kagura now knew she did not.

 

Having had her freedom and her heart for a short blissful time only made it more painful now that she knew she might never feel that ever again. Knowing that Naraku was just waiting for the perfect excuse to dispose of her... Yes, Kagura knew that Naraku was simply looking for the perfect opportunity to kill her off, waiting for the moment she ceased to be of service to him.

She wasn't blind. Naraku wanted her dead. She was a nuisance, but for now...she was an useful nuisance. And she intended to play along as long as she could, because darn it, Kagura wanted to live. Living as a slave was better than being absorbed by Naraku, returning to nothing...

 

Unless, of course, she could kill the bastard first.

 

Kagura's mind wandered, her soul ached, and she found herself thinking of Sesshoumaru again.

Now there was one powerful youkai...

She had believed the Lord of the Western Lands was her only hope, yet the inu-youkai had already refused to help her.

 

Kagura frowned in confusion and annoyance. Didn't Sesshoumaru want Naraku's demise too? Why couldn't he...why wouldn't he help her?

 

If you want to rebel against Naraku, use the Shikon shards and do it yourself. If you cannot do this on your own, do not even think about betraying him.

 

Kagura bared her teeth. If she could have growled, she would have. Then again, she had understood Sesshoumaru's words. When she had held Kouga's Shikon shards in the palm of her hand, the shards the inu-youkai had refused...Kagura had realized he was right. And that only made her angry. She hated to be wrong.

 

"Asshole." Kagura whispered to the empty night, trying to no avail not to think of how impossibly handsome said asshole was, how intriguing she found the inu-youkai...how positively thrilling it was, merely to be in his presence. And what a presence Sesshoumaru had...

 

He was a contradiction indeed...allowing that human whelp to follow him, while at the same time claiming to despise humans and anything related to their race.

 

Kagura smiled to herself. So he had a soft side, huh? He had actually grown fond of that little human girl. Naraku himself had proclaimed the child as the great Lord's only weakness.

 

Now if only Kagura could reach out to Sesshoumaru...was there even a place for her in his heart?

No, there couldn't possibly be. To Sesshoumaru, she stank of Naraku. She was his enemy. Following the dark hanyou's orders, she had even kidnapped the brat the great Lord had claimed as his own child.

 

And yet...the whelp didn't blame her for it...the little girl was not the least bit afraid of her. And Sesshoumaru hadn't killed Kagura like she had initially thought he would when she met him soon afterwards...he had merely regarded her coolly with those beautiful amber eyes of his...almost pitifully...as if he understood it had not been Kagura's will to take his whelp from him.

 

Kagura blinked. A place in his heart? Where had that come from?

 

"Oh for crying out loud!" Kagura murmured, rolling her crimson eyes. She lay on her back, closing her eyes and focusing on the wind.

She was the wind. She could go anywhere she pleased...for now. She knew how to do this, letting her youki merge with the wind, the wanderings of her mind becoming the paths the wind would take by her will alone...

 

She felt herself rise, yet her body remained motionless. The wind enveloped around her, almost lifting her off the ground, and she could feel herself become one with it as her consciousness stretched out across the land...

 

Kagura had done this many times before...she had never believed it would actually work, but she had been bored...and she had wanted to...well, she had wanted to see for herself...

She had been was curious.

What was the Lord of the Western Lands like when he did not sense a foreign presence, when he was not being watched, by either foes or allies?

 

If Sesshoumaru could not detect her presence...her scent...perhaps it would be all right...just to take a look...

 

What had she said to him when she had first met him? Ah, yes. "Such a beautiful face you have."

 

Since then it had become a custom she secretly cherished and had perfected in the few but precious moments her services were not required by her 'master'.

With time though, Kagura had curiously found that these brief visits soothed her and made her feel as if she was, indeed...free. Kagura knew all too well she was lying to herself, of course, but in those moments...she was herself. And she watched. She watched, and she was not seen.

She felt a secret pride in her technique that made her smile inwardly.

 

She focused. One with the wind, yes...anywhere but here...where she wanted to be...

The Wind Sorceress concentrated harder, she sought...she found.

 

Ah, there he was.

 

Sesshoumaru and his 'pack'...the two-headed dragon youkai was asleep, the human child was snuggled up to it. The impertinent imp, that repulsive toad youkai, snored with his back against a tree. Sesshoumaru was sitting nearby...wide awake, fully aware of his surroundings, his face emotionless as he stared ahead of him, his back straight. His hand was laying on one bent knee. There was a small fire built there, probably to keep the human child warm.

 

Kagura's brow creased in concentration, she spoke to Sesshoumaru wordlessly, never quite sure if he could hear her. Unbeknowst to the Wind Sorceress, all this time since her small 'rituals' had begun, she had been conveying her emotions to him...although Kagura was not quite sure herself of her feelings for the powerful youkai, the almighty demon that she believed could be the key to her freedom.

 

A tiny part of her that had never lost hope still believed so, even if she knew, courtesy of the Lord of the Western Lands, that it was entirely up to her to earn her freedom...Kagura's feelings for Sesshoumaru confused and disturbed her, and she didn't know why she kept doing this, except...it felt right. It had become an addiction.

 

Still, if Sesshoumaru could hear or feel her, the bastard had always ignored her. But it was only recently that Kagura had begun to reach out for him in this manner...and she longed to try more...

 

Curiosity killed the cat. Kagura resisted the urge to smile at this. It had all began with her being bored and...curious. Yes, but satisfaction brought the cat back...

 

Kagura's lips parted but not a sound left her lips as she sent her silent words to him. She had not fully mastered her technique...but her words, unspoken, rose with the wind - she longed to feel him...but most importantly...Kagura longed for Sesshoumaru to feel her. The most irritating part of this was that she knew he could feel her and yet...Kagura cleared her mind. No time to think about it...she needed to concentrate...

 

'Feel me.'

 

The gentle breeze wrapped around Sesshoumaru. His long, silky white hair danced with it, danced with her.

For the first time, her youki tried to reach out for him but she was hesitant. Eyes still closed, Kagura scowled. What was she thinking? She would be so easily detected...she couldn't bring herself to do that...

 

And yet...when she had first tried this technique, she had actually spoken to him...she had been so damn sure he couldn't, wouldn't, hear her. She remembered exactly what she had said, and she recalled Sesshoumaru had not heard her, and if he had, he had ignored her.

The first time, the wind had whispered in the inu-youkai's ear..."I am the wind...every breath you take...you breathe me in...and when you do, I am one with you...I feel your heart, I'm the blood that runs through your veins...I am your eyes. I can touch your soul, I can do what no one has ever done."

 

She had felt quite foolish, and she had abruptly abandonned him. He hadn't reacted to her words, and she had not been expecting him to. Of course he had felt the wind change around him. She had stroked his hair, his handsome face, but she had never in a million years imagined he would actually hear her. She thought she had been talking to herself, talking to the wind.

 

She had not attempted to reach out to Sesshoumaru with her youki, she had been...afraid? No...she had felt vulnerable. And she'd hated that feeling. And now here she was, foolishly trying to reach the inu-youkai like she had never tried to do so before.

 

Kagura was about to leave the scene...to get the hell away from him as fast as she could...to ignore this act she considered was not in her place, until she felt Sesshoumaru's youki react to her, almost pulling her back to him. It was almost a violent reaction on his part, he would not let her get away, and yet he was obviously welcoming her...and Kagura's automatic response was that of triumph.

 

'Ah so you know I'm here.' She thought to herself.

 

She had screamed at him, what seemed ages ago, when he had refused to help her..."You dare call yourself a man?!", and to her utter shock, which had come much later, since Kagura did not and could not keep her mouth shut...she had survived to tell the tale.

 

She laughed without a sound. 'You kill anybody who's not respectful of you, anyone who's in your way, Sesshoumaru, and yet...you did not even attempt to harm me...before I kidnapped your whelp...I was disrespectful to the great Lord of the Western Lands...and still, you let me live. I wonder why?' Kagura thought. "Could it be that you actually...like me?" She wondered, this time voicing her thoughts.

 

No, this was not meant for Sesshoumaru to hear, Kagura was talking to herself again. Like her? Hell, no. He probably did not dislike her, which was a different thing altogether. Pity? She would have none of that...but she was losing her concentration, and she could not allow herself to do that.

 

'Focus, damn it!' She thought angrily. She could feel her thoughts drifting away, and the wind reacted to her inner turmoil, to her confusion, and yet...it was quite clear...she was not confused. Awe was more like it.

'Yes, you do like me, don't you?' She smiled to herself again. 'You're incapable of pity, aren't you?'

 

The wind sighed, the breeze gently stroked Sesshoumaru's face, it lifted his silvery bangs from his eyes. The inu-youkai Lord's stoic expression did not change, but he lifted his face ever so slightly, his amber eyes glowing, as the wind caressed him. For a moment, Kagura thought he would speak...

 

Triumph was replaced by surprise, slowly turning into slight panic. Did she really want to hear what he had to say? Did she want to know?

 

Sesshoumaru slowly, regally, rose to his full height, his eyes fixed on the horizon. He turned around. He was facing the wind now, and Kagura's breath caught in her throat. Would he say something? Could he feel her? Yes...of course he could. She would be a fool to think otherwise. And she wanted him to feel her.

 

She had grown frustrated after so many visits, getting absolutely no reaction from Sesshoumaru, not even disgust or contempt. And now she wanted him to feel her, to acknowledge her presence. Was it pride that made her long for a response from him, whatever it might be? Yes, that was probably it.

 

Yet...she had never stayed as long as she had now. Kagura was not afraid, but she was dreading the moment when he would finally acknowledge her presence out loud...Kagura never knew what to expect from Sesshoumaru. He'd made sure no one knew what to expect of him.

 

He had never mentioned her unseen visits to her. There was no need to, or so Kagura guessed were his thoughts. At first, Kagura was content with this, she had been so sure that she would not be detected. But she knew he had always been aware of her brief visits.

Sesshoumaru's eyes were impossible to read, but she couldn't be mistaken...he knew.

She could feel it in his youki, the way it changed subtly whenever they met face to face. And it irritated her to no end that he wouldn't even mention it. But then again...she didn't mention it either, did she? What was she supposed to say? What did she expect him to say?

 

Kagura didn't know if this was a blessing or a curse. She'd much rather be despised than ignored. And Sesshoumaru probably knew this, too.

 

She sighed, and with a last whisper of the wind, abandonned the sight and presence of the Lord of the Western Lands, not daring to stay to see if he would finally speak...and yet she heard his voice in her head as her consciousness slowly drifted away.

 

For the first time since she had started searching for him using the wind as her eyes, her invisible presence and awareness of herself in this carefree form, Kagura heard him clearly.

 

The first time she had tried this, she had believed it had been an illusion...a dream even, that she had fallen asleep...that she was dreaming of him.

 

Kagura knew better know. Each time she attempted to travel with the wind without physically moving from where she was, the feeling of being there, of touching him with invisible hands, the wind whispering to him through her...it had become stronger every time.

But this was the first time he had actually responded to her. She had heard him, she could not be mistaken. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking but...his voice echoed in her head, a single word, no more no less...

 

'Kagura.'

 

One word. Her name. Sesshoumaru's voice was icy and emotionless, yet she felt his overwhelming youki for a second, a second that seemed to stretch for a short eternity, and it reached out to hers, making her shiver.

 

Kagura's crimson eyes snapped open in shock and she sat up. She had broken the contact abruptly and when she returned to her full senses, she was furious with herself.

 

"Talkative aren't we." She said out loud, laughed bitterly and shook her head at her own stupidity. Kagura frowned in exasperation. "Damn it." She muttered.

 

Looking up, she saw Naraku's insects. "I know, I know, I'm coming!" She said, rolling her eyes, and plucked her feather from her hair. It transformed, and Kagura climbed on it gracefully, guided the wind and headed back to her prison, following the despicable saimyoushou.

 

_________________________________

 

 

Unbeknownst to the dead miko, while Inuyasha in his human form slept peacefully with Kagome in his arms, Kikyou had walked through Naraku's barrier effortlessly and out of his domains.

Her conversation with Naraku replayed in her mind. She needed to find something. Something that was in a place that even Naraku himself couldn't set foot in.

 

Kikyou knew where to go, she had been there before many times, fifty years ago, and once again not too long ago, in search for the very thing Naraku had now asked her to bring to him.

 

Dirt from Onigumo's cave.

 

She held a ceramic pot in her hands, and wore a determined look on her pale face. Her wrath was controlled, she was focused; the dead miko knew what to do and she told herself she was not following anyone's orders but her own.

 

She didn't care what Naraku would do with what would be in the ceramic pot she was now holding in her hands. If it would give her a new body, that was all Kikyou needed to know. She had grown tired, and impatient. She knew her time on this earth, though technically already expired, waned thin unless she found a new body, another way to carry on. Her shell that held the remnant of her dying soul would not hold out forever.

 

Naraku's spawn, the wind youkai, Kagura, and Naraku's cursed human roots, Onigumo...they were the key to her resurrection. A new body...Onigumo's lust...Naraku's remains of humanity.

 

Kikyou had to admit that Naraku had thought his latest plot through. Of course, he couldn't make a new body for her...it would smell just like him, and Inuyasha's sense of smell would detect Naraku's stench from miles away.

 

Kikyou's soul...the soul the little miko from the future had stolen from her...would remain within this clay body the dead priestess currently inhabited...except it wouldn't be clay for long.

 

Kikyou smiled a tiny, triumphant smile. She was in no particular hurry to get there. She would get what she wanted eventually.

 

That little girl's souls...the souls that rightfully belonged to Kikyou...would return to their original owner, Naraku had said.

Kikyou laughed bitterly at this. Naraku always underestimated her. The miko didn't believe he would keep that promise, but for the moment...it was all right. Once she had a new body...once she had Inuyasha...it wouldn't matter that that sorry copy of her possessed Kikyou's souls. She would have new ones.

 

Naraku wanted to dispose of his unfaithful servant...Kikyou would be getting new souls, a new body...a beating heart. Blood would flow once again in her veins. A youkai heart within a human, dead body that would soon be...alive.

 

Inuyasha would be hers. In life and death. Kikyou knew only too well her 'new' body would be temporary, a small detail Naraku had conveniently 'forgotten' to mention, but Kikyou knew the evil hanyou and she was more than willing to accept this.

She didn't need it for long. She was dead, after all. And soon, Inuyasha would die with her. Die for her. Because she had died for him. It was only fair, now wasn't it?

 

After she made him hers in life...and once Naraku was defeated...Inuyasha would have no second thoughts about following Kikyou to Hell. If he was having doubts because of his pathetic little miko, why, Kikyou would leave no room for doubts in the hanyou's mind once she had him wrapped around her little finger...once she had a body that Inuyasha couldn't resist.

A heart that would beat against his, a body that would respond to him...a body that would give and receive pleasure.

 

Kikyou had admitted to herself, and even to Naraku...that being dead had allowed her to feel more than she had ever felt when she'd been alive. At first she had believed it was a lie to trick Naraku...but now she understood that she had not been lying to the dark hanyou.

 

She was free now, and although when she'd been alive she had despised youkai until Inuyasha had come into the picture...back then, although he was hanyou, and he had awakened feelings in her she ignored she possessed...Kikyou had wanted the inu-hanyou to become human for her...

 

She had already given Naraku the Shikon shards. Kikyou had stolen them from Kagome, the dead miko had tried to kill the young girl that was an insult to her pride. True, she had grown to admire the little miko; Kagome was everything Kikyou had always wanted to be...she had achieved in such a short time all that Kikyou had longed to achieve...to heal Inuyasha's heart...to make him hers...

 

No, Kikyou hadn't hated Kagome.

Until now.

That child had stolen what was rightfully hers. Kagome had stolen her life, her souls. This, Kikyou could forgive. But Kagome had also stolen her Inuyasha. This, Kikyou refused to tolerate. This, she would fight for.

 

After all, Kagome did not belong in this time. The nagging, annoying feeling in the dead miko's mind that she herself did not belong in this time either...that she was long dead and gone...was a disturbing thought that she pushed as far away from her head as she could.

 

And she had admitted, although only to herself...that she was painfully aware that although she moved, talked and lived in this body made of clay and bones...that she wore Kikyou's face and held the memories of her past...that she knew she was not Kikyou. Not really.

But she would become Kikyou. Not just the memory of her, but the real, powerful miko that Kikyou had been fifty years ago.

The miko Inuyasha had loved. The miko who had loved him and had been betrayed by him.

 

Being resurrected, being able to choose, had corrupted Kikyou's desire and duty to be pure. Hell was her destiny, and therefore, it was Inuyasha's destiny as well.

 

Kikyou was not a fool, and she knew only too well that all that what was driving her now was the desire of revenge. If she had felt jealous of her reincarnation before, it was a feeling that overwhelmed all of her thoughts and emotions now.

 

She wanted Inuyasha, he belonged to her, and what she had seen in Kanna's mirror, and her failure to make Inuyasha respond to her like he should have...she couldn't fail this time around, she wouldn't allow herself to lose.

 

She was Kikyou, she told herself over and over again.

 

Naraku's death could wait. She pushed away all thoughts of purity in her dead souls, souls that did not belong to her...the remains of the miko that had perished fifty years ago...the priestess that had tried so hard to help people, to heal the injured, to live up to what was expected of her, never complaining, not just as the Shikon jewel's protector, but as the powerful, generous miko that she was supposed to be...the existance that she had secretly loathed in life.

 

Now, she kept telling herself that she didn't feel guilty for stealing the souls of dead women to remain on this earth and fulfill her purposes...and yet she continued with a miko's duties...perhaps to make up for this terrible sin. But she only stole the souls of women who had been betrayed, sad, bitter women who had suffered in life, young women who had died unfairly...women who could not find their eternal rest.

 

And yet, Kikyou remained a miko, brought back from Hell, and she still lived up to what was expected of her. Perhaps it was pride. She preferred to think of it as pride than guilt over the weeping souls that kept her alive.

 

Kikyou's purity was now tainted. She would forsake all this for the time being and focus on the task ahead of her.

She would be alive. Inuyasha would belong to her.

 

"Alive." Kikyou whispered to herself, and her smiled widened. "Soon, Inuyasha. Soon."

 

 

TBC

 

So...what did you think? Let me know! I'd like to point out something before you start asking questions: In the manga, when Kikyou realized Naraku still had Onigumo's heart beating inside him, she took some dirt from his cave when she first went to see him, and told him he could not touch her because of Onigumo's feelings for her...she doesn't say this in the anime, but the arrow she gave Kagome in a later ep had dirt from Onigumo's cave. I repeat... there will be no Inu/Kik here!

Don't forget to REVIEW! Sorry again for the delay! PLEASE REVIEW FOR THIS HUMBLE YM! I'll try, I really will, to update sooner!

 

Special thanks! At AFFN: Cutie Pie Hentai, Zelix, Durian, Aislynn, WiccanMethuselah, AxLoverCassie, Kraffin, HAP, Wing_Goddess, Coffee Gyrl, Lere, Anon, JuniperJazz, Drake220, Echo, lady_green_bat, Trickster Goddess, Baku, Trace, Mic Mic, HotNSpicyFox, Sasuke Kishuname, Aislin Oriel, Yathallar_Z, Kari, Jacqui, GAH!, animegirl, Nancey, Kurohita Tatsaki, Kirah, Kagome1312, Lori, cablefast, Lori, InuKagome4 and Merisusa-sama.

 

Thank you all who review and especially to those who keep R&R'ing here at mm.org: Trusuprise, Miss_Marilyn69, HimeG, IYFan (Youkai Inu doesn't speak like this in the manga or anime, I just made him talk in this manner cause he's pure instict, and his youkai blood is getting stronger. Don't worry, this story is my baby and it will be finished! Rl sucks sometimes!), ZAM (Koishii means 'beloved'), WiccanMethuselah, Inuyashas4ever, Ditke, morwen, Mangomoo, inu_luver2004, tinkerbell, inuyashatotallyobsessed, Inu Yokai, sarak, spumante, euphoricbliss, cynbad146, CrescentMoon21, wh00t, and Diablos_ii.

Thanks everyone! Keep 'em coming! I NEED REVIEWS!!! Love, ramen and pocky to you all!

YM