InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Love's Smirking Revenge ❯ All In ( Chapter 24 )

Love's Smirking Revenge

Chapter 25

- All In -

It was Friday night in Tokyo, and that meant neon lights, crowds and pachinko noise. Kagome listened to the faint rumblings of her train departing as she made her way up the subway stairs. A few passersby gave her odd looks, their stares lingering on the light bruises that still stained her skin.

It was hard not to feel self conscious. Her entire adult life she'd been gawked at, but always out of jealous or lust. This was something entirely different. Her bruises weren't something a little Clinique could hide and she could feel the unspoken questions, judgements and accusations in their stares. The expression in their eyes spoke far louder than any words could have. Even worse were the dozens women who looked at her knowingly, sharing their secret in a small sympathetic smile. It left her feeling sick.

“Don't you get it? This isn't normal! It's not right!” she felt like screaming at them, but kept her eyes on the sidewalk and quickened her pace instead.

It was another two blocks of karaoke bars and bright lights before she reached the restaurant district. The place they were meeting wasn't too far now. It was the only reason he'd let her come alone. He'd offered to drive, of course, insisted on it actually, but she'd refused. It felt too good to be independent again. She'd spent the last month cooped up in a hospital room or burrowed away in her apartment, frightened of her own shadow. This was exactly what she needed - a chance to get out into the real world again and far away from all things safe and familiar. It was her own brand of therapy - she'd toss herself into the deep end and try her damndest to remember how to swim. The transition was excruciating, but necessary. All because she refused to let herself become a victim.

Labels had always bothered her - single, taken, girlfriend, wife, mother - but she rebelled against `victim' harder than any other. If she let her life end with the incident at the pier, if she let who she was before fade into nothing, it was like he'd won. Naraku hadn't broken her then, and he sure as hell wasn't going to do it now that he was dead.

I will not be a victim.

Slowing to a stop, she took a minute to adjust her form-fitting black dress and take a deep breath. It'd been a while since she'd been on an honest date. Not since... Well anyway, long enough that she felt sorely out of practice. This whole dating thing used to be so easy. She'd stroll in, oozing confidence and sex, take control and end the night however she wanted - sometimes with an orgasm, sometimes with a different date. This feeling of butterflies and the nervous trembling of her fingers weren't what she was used to.

Putting on a smile, she straightened her back and strode around the corner.

He was waiting for her outside the restaurant, looking casual with his back and one foot braced against the wall. The sound of her high heels against the concrete echoed loudly down the narrow street and caught his attention. He looked up with a smile and a wave that left her feeling momentarily breathless.

There was no denying the man was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. And boy, did he know how to dress - slacks, an indigo dress shirt, and a sleek charcoal blazer... Her eyes roved over his attire appraisingly, unable to find fault with a single thing he was wearing.

“Hey gorgeous,” he greeted warmly.

The familiarity of his smile and the warm look in his eyes soothed her nerves like a warm shot. All of the tension and anxiety, the stress and the wondering, evaporated out of her in a single, quiet sigh. He had that affect on a girl. The sneaky bastard.

He offered his arm and she took it wearing a coy smile.

“Hey yourself.”

He opened the door to the quiet Russian restaurant they'd decided on and ushered her in.

The atmosphere inside Firebird was cozy and Old World. The dining room smelled of perfumed cigars and old leather, giving the entire place an `authentic' feel. The walls were bathed in deep, rich tones and elaborate, antique tapestries hung from them like show pieces in an art gallery. There was even an authentic looking velvet curtain that separated the unwashed masses in the front half, from the private VIPs in the back. She felt like she'd been transported directly into the heart of Leningrad.

The hostess held the curtain aside and guided them through.

The back half was only slightly more opulent than the front. There were fewer tables, of course, only six in total, and an elaborate selection of premium aged wines and liquors stood in plain view. The addition of some original oil works hanging on the walls depicting Bacchian scenes was a nice touch, too.

Eyeing the waitress's short skirt and fishnet stockings Kagome had to admit that even the staff looked authentic.

Taking their seats, she thanked the hostess with a smile and listened to Kouga place their wine order.

This is nice, she thought, settling into her chair.

There was no drama, no mystery; everything about their date so far was perfectly normal.

This is exactly how it should be.

The hostess returned with a bottle of Mukuzani, Georgian red, and poured them both a glass before returning to her post at the door.

“Have you ever tried Georgian wine?” Kouga asked with a curious look. She shook her head and smiled as she detected the faint scent of oak from her glass.

“You'll like it,” he promised. “It was all I drank the last time I was there.”

That got her attention.

“You've been to Russia?”

He nodded and smiled, looking as though he was reliving one or two great memories.

Russia had always struck her as such a far off and distant place, one worlds away from Japan. In her mind it was a rough country of snow and ice, vodka and mafia rule. The cops were dirty, the streets were harsh and the culture was one of the richest in Europe.

She leaned in, eager to hear more.

“I went about ten years ago, for business,” he explained, “Had the time of my life!”

“I bet!” she laughed. “Tell me what it was like. Did you meet any mafia leaders or shady politicians?”

“Only a few,” he teased with a wink.

“It was more of a vacation than anything. I took some time to wander around St Petersburg, visited the Russian Museum, the Tauride Gardens and some little shops.”

She nodded, gently swirling the wine in her glass.

Inuyasha would never go to Russia. She tried to picture him studying ancient artwork in a museum or sipping coffee at a little cafe in the square and wound up wearing a small, sardonic smile.

Pigs would fly first...

“You know, I think the best part of it all was getting to see a couple shows at the Leningrad rock club. The music was unreal - like nothing you hear here except maybe in those underground clubs.”

Her thoughts tuned back in just in time.

“Wow, that sounds amazing,” she breathed, hoping he hadn't noticed her momentarily lapse in attention. “I'd love to visit someday.”

“I'll take you,” he promised, lifting his glass to toast her before taking a sip. “Just say the word and we're on a plane to Moscow.”

A blush flushed her cheeks and she hid it with a well-timed sip of wine.

Despite her best efforts, her thoughts stubbornly wandered into dangerous territory over dinner. It started with their appetizer - caviar and aged cheese - crept into the entree - roast duck and venison - and even dessert - a lemon soufflé to share. With every delicious morsel that passed her lips, an errant thought about how much Inuyasha would have loved or hated it entered her mind.

I could've never brought him here, she concluded, finishing the last bite of soufflé. He would've checked out the waitress's legs, complained about the haute couture menu, and gulped down the expensive Georgian wine like it was grape juice. He'd been so wrong for her in every way.

Kouga, on the other hand, was well-mannered, cultured, cheerful and smart - everything Inuyasha wasn't. Well, maybe not everything, but from his suit, to his smile, to the way he held the door open for her, he screamed `safe' in her mind. There were no guessing games when it came to him and she welcomed the change.

Dinner went by far quicker than either of them had expected. It felt like they'd only just finished when the hostess returned to advise them that the restaurant was closing for the evening. After apologizing profusely, they broke out into embarrassed drunken laughter.

“We'll never be allowed back!” she jokingly whispered as he helped her with her jacket.

“What's this `we'? The reservation's in your name! I'll be back next week for some more of that wine!”

He chuckled shamelessly at the indignant expression that crossed her face. His hands lingered on her shoulders, their warmth radiating through the cloth of her jacket. She smiled broadly, thoroughly enjoying her alcohol induced carefree mood. Letting out a content sigh, she lifted her eyes to his and admired their alluring shade. It was like staring directly at midnight, with all the mystery and possibilities that went with it.

“You have beautiful eyes,” she purred, inching closer.

He smiled as his hands reluctantly fell away from her shoulders.

“And you're drunk. Ready to go?”

She nodded, taking his arm as he led her out to the street.

Her cellphone said it was nearly one, but the night felt young and more importantly, she felt alive for the first time since she'd left the hospital. They walked arm in arm down the street, their bodies pressed close, and debated whether a round of karaoke or more drinks were in order. After a few uncoordinated stumbles on her part he decided it was probably best to bring her home.

“You don't want to be anywhere near a moving vehicle when your world starts spinning,” he pointed out, and she reluctantly agreed with his wisdom. Typical Kouga, always looking out for her.

This time he didn't take no for an answer when it came to escorting her home. To be fair, she didn't make more than a half-hearted protest. She enjoyed his company. He reminded her of what it was like to laugh again. There was a lightness to him that was a part of his very being and she found it infectious. Like a bee to a flower, she wanted to be closer...wanted more.

“I'm glad I finally got the chance to take you out on a real date,” he said as they stood idly on the subway platform waiting for their train to roll in.

`I'm glad he's out of the picture' is what the cynical half of her brain heard, but the sincerity in his voice made her feel guilty and she averted her gaze down the darkened subway tunnel.

“Me too. I had a lot of fun,” she agreed, hazarding a shy smile.

Her words were true. She'd had more fun tonight than she had in a long time and the only thing preoccupying her mind at the moment was how badly she wanted to do it again. All thoughts of Inuyasha had mercifully evaporated with the touch of the cool night air against her skin.

Maybe I'm ready to move on after all...

Their train arrived in a blur of red metal and screeching brakes. They managed to push their way onto the crowded car and found an arm hold in the far back corner. Out of necessity she clung to him for support, with her arms wrapped tight around his waist. He didn't appear to mind. In fact, he looked more than a little happy about it and she shamelessly took advantage of the chance to get close to him.

By the time the train had reached her stop she'd taken to pleasantly dozing against his chest.

So soon? she thought disappointed when the train doors opened and he ushered her out onto the bleak platform.

It was a short walk to her apartment from the station. Between the alcohol and her quasi-nap on the train her coordination left something to be desired. He held her up with an arm around her waist and tried not to laugh when she stumbled in a very un-lady like manner.

“It's these heels,” she protested. “They're too damn high!”

He merely laughed and helped her to the door of her apartment building.

“Can I... escort you up?”

He seemed unsure for the first time that night. His expression was hopeful, but there was doubt in his eyes - like he expected her to kick his ass to the curb at any second. She studied him a moment before slowly nodding her head.

“Sure.”

Her voice had grown soft, all drunken giggles gone, but there was no hesitation. She knew exactly what she was doing despite the butterflies that had returned in full force. The sound of her heart in her ears was a deafening roar by the time they'd made their way up the stairs to her floor.

“We should do this again sometime,” he suggested, sounding resolute.

She nodded, “I'd like that.”

Their feet slowed in unison and came to a stop outside her door. He seemed hesitant, unsure of what would come next or how far he could take this. She wasn't sure either. Her gut churned anxiously as she dug through her purse for her keys. Her mind was racing, plotting the necessary words in her head to orchestrate a perfectly scripted goodbye.

She pulled in a breath, turned to face him and felt her carefully crafted words evaporate into nothing. He was closer than she'd expected him to be. His face hovered mere inches above hers, close enough that she could feel the warmth of his breath against her cheek. She swallowed at the light pressure of his hand on her hip and the tender, feather light touch of his fingertips against the underside of her jaw.

“You look beautiful tonight.”

She nodded dumbly, unable to take her eyes from his. Deep and powerful, they drew her in like a rip tide and refused to let go. Even if she'd wanted to struggle she couldn't have moved just then. Her heart thrummed loudly in her ears as his thumb brushed across her bottom lip, asking permission. She couldn't move, couldn't breathe. In those last seconds before his lips touched hers, her world slowed to an agonizing crawl.

I'm sorry...

Her mind betrayed her, whispering words of regret as her lips welcomed his kiss. His touch was like fire through her veins. It burned with an intensity she hadn't been prepared for and didn't know how to handle. A needy moan sounded in the back of her throat and it travelled through her, down into each limb to pulse and simmer like a strong shot of rum. It left her head spinning and she clung weakly to his blazer to keep her balance while his lips explored hers.

His kiss was intoxicating, but it didn't ask anything more from her than she was willing to give and for that she was grateful. The way her mind was reeling, she wasn't sure she could stop him even if she wanted to.

Satiated, he reluctantly pulled away and placed a soft kiss against her cheek.

“I'll call you tomorrow,” he promised wearing the smile of a champion. She smiled back and watched after him until he disappeared down the stairs and out of sight.

It was only then that she could breathe. She pressed her lips together, enjoying the residual tingles that travelled through them in tiny electric charges. Damn, the boy could kiss.

Kicking the door to her apartment shut behind her, she slid the locks into place and leaned back against the solid wood. It was then that the guilt set in, like a disease that devoured her elation one heart beat at a time. Guilt had never factored into her equation.

He hasn't spoken to me in over a month. I have every right to start dating other people!

She knew she was right, but reassurances like those did nothing to soothe her heart. It turned over in her chest, frustratingly stuck in the past instead of focusing on what could be. It kept whispering the same cruel truth to her, the one admission she hadn't wanted to make - as amazing as it was and for all its leg-weakening power, his kiss had still felt wrong. For no other reason than because Kouga wasn't him.

“Dammit.”

Was nothing ever easy when it came to the men in her life? Apparently not.

Groaning, she made her way across the living room to the answering machine. It wasn't that she expected anyone to call, but after years of the same routine it'd become habit. She was surprised to see the red light was flashing away. Expecting it to be a call from her Editor, again, she pressed the `Play' button and made her way to the kitchen for a glass of water.

The booming baritone of Asahi Shimbun's Editor-in-Chief didn't invade her apartment. Instead, there was a prolonged silence, an audible sigh and then-

“Kagome...we need to talk. Call me back.”

Her glass overflowed in the sink, the frigid water running noisily over her hands. The answering machine beeped loudly, announcing the end of the message, and then went quiet. Slowly, she turned the kitchen tap off and let the silence permeate her apartment.

Damn him...

It was a few minutes before the shock of hearing his voice again wore off enough for her body to move. Bringing the water with her, she slowly made her way back to the living room. The answering machine sat on her table looking innocent enough and she stared at it a long while trying to decide what to do.

A part of her hated him for picking tonight of all nights to call and leave a pathetic message like that on her answering machine. The other side of her pitied him. He'd sounded rough. Maybe this wasn't easy for him either? Not that it made any difference. He'd was the one who'd made the call, or rather, hadn't.

You made your bed, now go lie in it, she thought, bitterness creeping in like poison. He'd have to do a whole lot better than that if he wanted to hear from her again. After a month of silence, one two second voice mail wasn't going to cut it. Her finger decisively jammed down the `Erase' button and another long beep announced that his message was gone.

If only it was as easy to delete him from her life.

Feeling unsettled she headed for bed and silently reminded herself that she didn't owe him a damn thing.

Except maybe her life.

oOo

Kouga was oblivious to the persistent ringing of his cellphone for an entire block.

He wore a smug smile, his thoughts preoccupied with three minutes ago when his lips had been pressed against hers. He could still taste her, the wine, the candied slick of her lip gloss, and it was so much better than he'd ever thought it would be.

It was an effort to keep his feet moving forward when each step only put more distance between them. Distance was necessary though. He couldn't let things go any further than they had tonight and the only way he could ensure that happened was by walking away. She wasn't ready, not yet. He had to keep reminding himself to be patient, but it was so damn hard. Especially when her body reacted to him like it did, always moving closer, blushing and moaning at his touch... She'd drive him half mad before she was done with him.

But he could be patient. Patience was his specialty. After all, he'd waited this long hadn't he?

His phone had stopped ringing by the time he turned the next corner. It didn't matter. Whoever it was could wait. Besides, he was far too distracted to deal with anyone at the moment. His brain was still trying to wrap itself around dinner. He'd gone into it expecting a fun night on the town. It was his way of giving the mutt a kick in the ass so he could get his shit together before someone with real intentions moved in on his territory.

His noble intentions had evaporated the minute he'd seen her walking toward him down the street. Their casual flirtation had started to mean something to him somewhere between `hello' and dessert and he wasn't sure if he could get his head out of it. His heart had decided it wanted her, in no uncertain terms, and after tonight he wasn't going to be able to hold anything back.

All in, he thought as his heart did a somersault in his chest.

At least now he understood the half-crazed obsession that'd driven the mutt to find her, and nearly brought him to the brink of destruction. She was worth putting it all on the line for. He hadn't been lying when he'd told Inuyasha he'd be proud to have her on his arm. He hadn't meant his words the same way then, but the game had changed. If the mutt was too caught up in his own shit to realize that he was about to lose a damn good thing he didn't deserve her to begin with.

Feeling smug, he hopped down the steps to the subway platform. His phone rang again, persistent and annoying. Uttering an irritated `tch' he fished it out of his pocket and flicked it open.

“Yeah! What?”

There was a heartbeat of silence and then a feminine voice purred over the line into his ear.

“Ignoring my calls Kouga-kun?”

His expression slowly darkened. Of all the people he didn't want calling him tonight, she was at the very top of his list.

Manipulative bitch. It was just about the only title that did suit her.

“What do you want?” he growled low into the phone.

He could hear the faint flick of her lighter on the other end of the line, and her long, slow exhale as she lit a cigarette.

“I have a favour to ask. Think you can handle it?” her tone was full of cunning, coy and sex. The honeyed edge to her words set his teeth on edge. He'd seen her in action enough times to know that there was nothing sweet about her.

There was a protracted silence as he debated giving in. She was nothing but trouble, he knew that better than most, but the past few weeks he'd been itching for a distraction and she was the only one who could give him what he wanted. What harm could it do? If it got her out of his hair for a few more months it'd be worth it - short term sacrifice, long term gain.

The Eastbound train screeched into the station, changed passengers and departed in echoes of screeching metal before he answered,

“Yeah, alright fine.”

Her brisque, “I'll send you the details” was followed by the sharp sound of the dial tone in his ear. It was just like her - purring minx one minute, all business the next. The woman had some serious issues when it came to dealing with men.

Frowning, he closed his phone, tilted his head back against the wall and let out a deep sigh. Talk about a buzz kill.

Still, a wry smile lifted a corner of his mouth as his train pulled up. Unexpected late night phone calls aside, tonight had exceeded every single one of his expectations and fulfilled the ones he hadn't dared hope for.

The mutt didn't stand a chance.

Author's Note: Sorry about the wait guys! I had a completely different chapter ready to go for 25 but it didn't feel right so I had to go back to the drawing board. The good news is that the next chapter is almost entirely written so it will be posted very soon. Sometimes writer's block works in mysterious ways :) To all my American readers, happy Thanksgiving weekend!

Reviews and comments are of course welcomed and appreciated. If any of you are interested in reading about the inspiration for some of my latests chapters or want a 'behind the scenes' look, so to speak, please feel free to take a tour of my journal at LJ - livejournal. com/ langus_fiction

See you soon,

Langus

Selected Listening

toe - The Book (Album)

Anya Marina - Satellite Heart