InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ March Winds ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

"March Winds"

by Hentai Jane

WARNING: THIS FIRST CHAPTER CONTAINS A SMALL LEMON. IT'S NOT TOO GRAPHIC, BUT BE WARNED!!!!!!

Pairing: Kouga/Ayame

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all related characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

Author's Note:

Ah, my first Kouga and Ayame fic. I'll admit that the story line may seem a little depressing at first, but give it time. And, to avoid confusion, Kouga is telling this story. He will interact with the other characters, but these are all supposed to be his thoughts, feelings and experiences.

This fic will only be two chapters and ch 2 is halfway done, so no need to worry about long delays.

As always, if you have any questions, let me know, or if you want to leave me a review (which I SOOOO appreciate!!), then please do so.

Thanks for taking your time to read my story!

Hugs,

HJ

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Laughte r. It seems to come from every direction, assaulting my ears and grating my nerves down to a fine explosive point. There happiness sickens me, but there eagerness for this ceremony enrages me.

Explode. That is what my heart wants to do. It wants to explode, spewing it's pain and torment on every being, scalding them like red, rolling lava.

The crowd quiets down, taking their seats when the voice of an old human male speaks. I am already sitting, I feel no need to stand and wander about the humans and youkai who have gathered for this 'happy occasion'. Could I stand even if I wanted to? No way. My legs feel numb as I place my hands on my knees. For the first time in nearly two centuries, I don't feel like running. My pain weighs my spirit down the way a boulder would crush the wings of a crane.

My closest friends and confidants are here with me. I don't like showing weakness, but at this time, even I'll admit that it's nice to have a shoulder or two to lean on. Ginta sat on my left side while Hakkaku sat on the right. I admire them for cracking the occasional joke in an attempt to break the tension. No matter what they do, it will all be a waste. Nothing, except the death of my rival could bring me happiness.

Hate. Apparently, the ceremony has begun. Ginta is speaking to me, I can see his mouth moving, his eyes looking at me, but I hear nothing. All I feel is rage. Hakkaku placed his hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze, offering comfort and understanding. We are forced to stand, to show respect for the groom. The object of my hate, the cause of my misery, is walking down the cloth covered forest floor, wearing a black and white groom's kimono, toward the small podium in front of the audience. The old priest acknowledges him with a quick bow as the hanyou turns toward the end of the aisle. His hands are clutched in front if him as a light blush crosses his face, expectantly waiting her entrance.

Hushed whispers hover around me as I look in the same direction. There she is. Dressed in her beautiful white wedding Kimono, looking angelic, clutching a small hand full of yellow daffodils and red tulips. Such innocense, such purity, such strength, all wrapped up in the form of a sweet young girl. What a waste to give all that away to a half breed when she could have had me.

I can't tear my eyes away from her heavenly face as she walks past. I like the way her lips are painted, giving them only the faintest hint of red so the color does not overpower the natural creamy white of her skin. My wish is to be standing where the bastard hanyou now stands. I know what happens at the end of their ceremony. They will kiss. He will sully her sweet mouth with his. How disgusting. My heart calls out to her as she passes by, begging her to stop, to just look my direction, but my presence is not acknowledged. With her eyes focused on her groom, she doesn't even know that I exist.

We take our seat as a collective silence falls over the wedding guests. The old priest is reading from a book as the couple hold hands, looking deep in each others eyes. A glint of gold, caught by the spring time sun, sparkles off the smooth surface of the ring as he slips it on the finger of my one true love.

Moisture gathers in my eyes, wanting to form tears, but I stubbornly refused to show my defeat. To show the pain now, when the end is drawing near, could be dangerous.

Time zips past me, pulling me out of the self inflicted stupor when I hear cheers and whistles. At that moment, my heart shattered.

He was kissing her, kissing my woman. Blood red flecks gathered in the normally confident blue depths of my wolfen eyes. I watched them turn to their guests, smiling, happy, hopeful, eager to begin a life together that would one day bring them pups. That torturous, mental visualization of the hanyou, bouncing one cute black haired pup on his knee while his mate, my love, watched them with one of those warm smiles of hers, stroking her stomach which carried HIS next pup, tore my soul to shreds.

I plastered on a fake smile as they walked down the aisle. Flower petals filled the air as guests threw handfuls toward the newly married couple, congratulating them and voicing wishes for happiness. Tables were set up in the next clearing, each adorned with white coverings and short vases of flowers, much like the ones carried by my woman.

That fake smile made my face hurt as I clenched my jaw muscles together tighter. They came to me and my pack members, beaming with joy. I shook his hand, the same hand that would lustfully touch my love this very night. He saw the hate in my eyes even as I congratulated them, but he ignored me and only held her closer to his side.

Short arms circled the necks of my companions and then mine, "I'm glad you all came Kouga." her eyes took on a misty appearance as she withdrew from our embrace. "I mean, with everything that has happened, I wasn't sure if you would accept our invitation....." her small hand clutched the hanyou's. His ears twitched forward, surely picking up the rapid beat of my heart.

"What? Do you actually think that just because you chose dog face that I wouldn't be happy for you? Your wedding is the biggest event around, I wouldn't miss it for the world." My answer was swift, not to mention generic. If I had hesitated one second, I would have said what was really on my mind.

She laughed softly, smoothing the furs that covered my shoulders. "You all look so nice. I've never seen you dressed up before." the deep brown eyes of my love looked over our clothing. She was used to seeing the scruffy, everyday clothing of the wolf tribe, not our formal attire. I wore my finest black shoulder coverings and fur waist wrap. The old beat up chest plate was replaced by a newer, pewter colored armor that had small red tassels on each side. My father's black fur wrap was attached to my armor, flipping it over my shoulders so it hung down my back, ending at my knees. In our tribe, black was the symbol of power and leadership, so it was only proper that I wore this color. I also wore something of his that hasn't see the light of days for decades; his mating bracelet. You see, in wolf tribes, we do not trade rings like human do. Instead, we exchange matching bracelets of thick metal covered in fine decorations. Why not rings? Simple, the bracelet can protect the wrist in a time of battle, where as a ring could get in the way, possibly interfering in your hold on a weapon.

My companions both wore pale brown furs which hung much lower than their normal outfits. Their chest plates were a deep maroon, also symbolizing their status as my personal body guards and advisors. I snorted to myself at the thought of Ginta and Hakkaku protecting me. A pissed off female was more of a threat than either of them. Speaking of women, my attention comes back to the beauty standing before me.

I told her that my tribe had a hard time deciding on what to give them for a wedding present. We finally chose to make them blankets of the finest furs and give then a few pounds of dried meats and fruits, the highest quality teas and incense were wrapped in silks and placed with the rest of the gifts.

She thanked us for coming and for the generous gifts. Her invitation to take a seat at one of the many tables so that we may dine with them was not unappreciated, but it was unimaginable. Graciously, I declined, giving her the lame excuse of needing to return to my lands. I even went as far as to say that we were having problems with a neighboring demon tribe. Guilt placed a firm hand on me as disappointment shown on her face, making the wonderful warmth of her spirit slightly diminish before she nodded her understanding.

Once again, I wished them the best and patiently waited for Hakkaku and Ginta to say their good byes.

They bid us farewell, and I turned to run. My legs moved at a speed that, to the human eye, would seem blurred. My feet pummeled the ground as my speed increased, making my lungs sear from the lack of oxygen and carry me further away from the two wolf youkai trying to keep up. I finally allowed a lone tear to escape my eye, gratefully the wind whipped it away, along with my words, "Goodbye, Kagome."

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My companions followed, yelling for me to slow down. Their requests fell on deaf ears as I made my way toward our home lands.

After a few miles, I stopped, waiting for them to catch up. I no longer had the Shikon shards, but I was still the fastest wolf youkai around. I thought that after I gave her the shards and my assistance with the battle against Naraku that she would come to understand how much I loved her. I thought wrong. Everything I did was wrong because in the end, I lost her.

Ginta and Hakkaku ran to my side, panting and looking thoroughly exhausted. "Why are you running so fast?" Ginta managed to say between breaths.

Hakkaku sat on the ground, catching his breath as he waited for my answer. I loved these two idiots, they were like brothers to me. I didn't want to lie to them, so I said it straight out, "I want you two to go back to the dens. I need some time alone."

"Where are you going Kouga?" Hakkaku asked me.

"Don't look so damned worried." Their concern irritated me. It wasn't like I was going off to die or planned on never returning, but I needed time to sort out my feelings. "Go on!" I demanded. My tone was harsh, making them twitch at the authority in my voice.

Slowly, they stood up, brushing off their clothes and headed east, back to our home lands.

I watched them until they were out of my sight. The gentle tune of birds combined with the high pitched shrills from new hatchlings in a nearby tree drew my attention away from my misery. They were a family of field sparrows. The male brought a few slimy looking worms to the nest where the female watched over her young.

Then, it hit me. A new fear, a new worry, something I had not considered before. Would I ever be able to love again? Hell, would I even want to? It was expected of me to take a mate and sire strong pups to take my place as leader when I am too old to maintain my responsibilities.

I looked back to the birds as they fed their young, envying them for how simple their lives were, wishing that my search for love had been a success. What would my father say if he were standing with me? Would he see his son as a failure, or worse, a weak coward? I should have taken Kagome, whether she wanted me or not. If I had taken her purity and marked her as my mate, she wouldn't have a chance of escaping me. Dog breath would get over it, eventually. And Kagome, well, as strong as she is, I know I could have made her love me. Yeah, it would take a while, but.............. oh, who the fuck am I kidding? Kagome would hate me for the rest of our lives.

My eyes scanned the surrounding woods. I decided to go south east so I wouldn't stray too far from my territory, just far enough for some privacy.

After running for several miles, I stopped realizing that I was covered in dirt and sweat, not to mention I was tired. A shallow stream edged in spring grass and cheery yellow daffodils called to me, offering to wash away my sorrows and worries. Nature was always there to comfort me, especially during my lowest times. Its beauty comforted me like the arms of an attractive woman while the march winds calmed me with its voice. The voice sang to me as it passed through the bud covered branches and rustle of tall prairie grass.

I stripped out of my fine furs and stepped into the shallow end of the water. As I wadded out to the middle of the stream, I realized it only reached my upper thighs. I dipped my body down, washing the best I could, enjoying it's tranquil currents before I returned to sit at the shallow bank.

How painfully ironic that I would find a stream lined with daffodils, like the ones in Kagome's bouquet. I settled back, letting my head rest in their fragrant bed as the rest of my body stayed half covered in the cool waters.

Their scent brought back the image of Kagome in her crisp white Kimono, only this time, I was the groom. I was the one her eyes lingered upon as walked down the aisle and took my hand.

My eyes drifted shut as the fantasy continued. I could feel her delicate arms around me as we danced and shared kisses. She would wear my mother's mating bracelet and after the ceremony, we would retire to my den.

I hate to admit it, but my den really needs a woman's touch, but I would do my best to make her comfortable on our first night together as mates.

She would touch me with those delicate hands, tracing each cord of muscle as it jumped beneath my skin. I laughed out load at the blush that would so adoringly cover her cheeks as I turned her around to untie the complicated knot of her obi. I could see it slide off her body, exposing her alabaster skin to my hands and hungry eyes.

Without realizing it, I reached down to comfort my aching appendage, stroking it lightly as my fantasy continued.

I could almost hear her moan as I suckled each pert nipple. My eager mouth traced kisses down to her female sex, dipping into her wetness, circling her clit, until she was madly writhing before me. Her soft voice was begging me to take her, to mark her, to make her mine.

My hand worked faster as I pumped my erection. The foreskin drew back showing the pink tip before I pulled up, hiding it from the air currents that passed over my body. My unoccupied hand cupped my swollen balls, fondling them, bringing me closer to climax. My neck arched back against the now crushed flowers as I saw myself thrusting into her tight virgin body. Her legs wrapped around my waist, begging me to pound her faster, harder. Without mercy, I complied, slamming into her, my flesh slapping against her as I buried my face between the crook of her neck and shoulder. All the blood in my body was rushing to my engorged member, making it throb and swell with each thrust.

I shifted my hand to the tip of my cock, furiously working the head as I growled, wanting nothing more than to be inside of the woman I loved. Then it happened, I bit into my woman's sweet flesh, branding her as my life mate.

In a massive rush, I came, filling my hand with warm sticky seed. My growl became louder, turning into a full blown howl as I continued to ejaculate. I jerked my hand forward, milking my phallus as the image of my mate, smiling at me with pleased eyes finished my orgasm, making the spurts of seed slow down to a trickle.

As I came down from my orgasmic high, I realized that all of this was indeed a fantasy. The stream carried away not only my seed, but the hope that my dream could ever become a reality.

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Later that night as the sun settled behind the vast plains and the moon emerged from behind the mountain peaks, I returned to my people. They parted, letting me through so I could reach my private den deep in the mountain. Noone said a word, noone dared to. Anger and grief was apparent in my face, in the void way my eyes looked straight through them.

I flopped down down on my bed, landing on my back with my arms spread and legs dangling over the side. Darkness surrounded my soul from a lack of love, and darkness cloaked my presence from the lack of light. The eyes of a wolf were made for the darkness, we were made to stalk and kill, to prowl the lands at night, to worship the moon and, most importantly, to set an example for all other creatures when it came to the matters of family and loyalty.

A shuffling sound of feet told me I wasn't alone, "Kouga?"

I knew that voice, "What Ginta?"

"Are you alright? Do you need me to fetch you anything?" He asked timidly.

I inhaled, smelling the aroma of cooked meat and vegetables coming from a plate he held. "No. I told you before to not worry about me."

He sat the plate down before kneeling by my bed, "Forgive me Kouga, but I have to say this."

I looked at him, already knowing what he was going to say. "The entire clan is concerned for your well being during this...... challenging time. We all know how much Kagome meant to you..."

The muscles in my arms clenched at his quietly spoken words. I wanted to throttle him, but I knew he was right. No, it would be unfair to take out my frustrations on one of my closest friends, so I chose to hear what he had to say.

"Please remember Kouga, she is not the only female in the world. I hope one day you find a woman who will return your love." With that said, Ginta bowed and left me alone with my thoughts.

I looked at the plate, feeling my stomach rumble. It was fresh pheasant and greens, one of my favorite meals. After I finished eating I climbed in bed. Sleep eluded me that night, so after tossing and turning, I decided to sit on the mountain side.

Its rocky ledges were perfect, being not too big or too small, but just right size for sitting comfortably and watching the moon.

Tonight, the moon was full and white. She spread her blanket of silver luminescence over the land, giving it an eerie, ethereal beauty.

The strong march winds picked up, telling me of possible prey near by. I have no need to kill now, my pack already ate so this kill would be a waste.

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Dawn came all too soon, drawing me out of a light doze. I heard my name being called from below. Some of the pack and Hakkaku were waiting for my response.

"What do you want?"

"Are you coming with us for the morning hunt?" A Hakkaku asked.

Sleepily, I rubbed my eyes, and climbed down from my ledge. I stretched my tired body, willing the muscles to loosen from the abnormal position in which I slept.

We canvassed the country side, scenting and searching the breeze for a worth while meal. Those same deer I smelled the night before hadn't moved very far. I pounced on the back of a huge buck, grasping its thick hide with my claws for leverage before grabbing it antlers and giving his neck sharp twist. A loud snap was heard as it suddenly collapsed. I don't like to torture any living thing. Death should always come quickly so the animals spirit won't linger.

We drug the buck back to the den. Several females came out with buckets for the entrails. Males gutted the kill and cut the meat into reasonable sized portions for cooking. Females had the task of preparing the food for the tribe.

How I would love to have a mate to cook for me, to make me the signature dish of her family and serve it with pride. I would enjoy anything she made me and never complain. I chuckled to myself at the absurdity of those thoughts. I doubt I'll ever love again. I feel so detached from everyone around me.

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As the days turned into weeks, the weather warmed up, melting the lingering ice that insisted on sticking around, but never the ice encasing my heart. It is mid march now and life among my pack has stuck to the same routine as always. We hunt in the morning, discuss problems or concerns among the pack in the afternoon, we have lunch, hunt for the evening meal (if needed) talk some more and constantly patrol our lands in shifts.

The daily routine made the days pass quickly, but my nights were another story. They are plagued with nightmares about Kagome. I constantly relive their wedding and the kiss they shared. I hate Inuyasha with every last fiber of my being. Although I wish for his death, I know it would cause Kagome too much pain, so I'll take back those harsh words and simply forget about her................somehow.

Later that day a messenger from the northern tribe came with a scroll for me. The tribes elder requested my presence, saying it was 'a matter of grave importance that I meet with him as soon as possible.'

My hair stood on end as my mind raced with the possibilities. He was old, centuries old. I hope he isn't sick.

I packed a bag and announced to the tribe that I would gone for at least I week. If I would be gone any longer, I would send a messenger to let them know. I left Ginta and Hakkaku in charge. Hopefully, when I got back, I'd have a tribe left!

I headed off to the north. The cool march winds whipped around my body, giving me the sensation of flying. The air was naturally perfumed with the scent of spring, tickling my nose and enticing me to breathe deeper.

The trip to the north didn't take long, as I reached the valley by the wolves mountain within a few hours of running at top speed.

My scent summoned the clan warriors. They came rushing out of their hiding places within the trees and rocky cliffs to greet me.

"Hey Eito!" I waved to one of the familiar faces in the crowd. Some of the wolves here were new, they must have mated into the tribe. Eito on the other hand was born and raised in this tribe. He took a mate almost two years ago. That was the last time I saw him, or.............. Ayame. Shit! I didn't even think about her, I just came because the elder asked me to.

I tried to be my old cocky, arrogant self, but I couldn't pull it off. Eito picked it up right away, but he did know me better than most of the ookami youkai present.

"You alright Kouga? I heard about the miko..."

"Yeah..... life's just been a little rough lately, but everything's fine. Hey, tell me about that beautiful mate of yours! What was her name...Namiyo?"

Eito grinned, "Oh she's fine. Actually, we're expecting our first pup in late summer." I slapped him on the back, feeling genuinely happy for my old friend and congratulated him on their pregnancy.

The others went back to their posts as Eito and I walked up the rocky trails of the mountains. We were high enough that I could see several cows grazing and another long range of mountain tops. My home was beautiful, but this place had one hell of a view. I liked the tangy scent of pine trees that grew in this area and the various wild flora that dotted the mountainside.

We were laughing, something I haven't done since Kagome's wedding. "The elder is resting, so I'll show you to one of our guest dens." Eito informed me. "He'll talk to you later tonight after dinner. In the meantime, make yourself at home. There's food left over from breakfast in the dens below us, just the tell the females what you want." He stepped out the door, going back to his post, "I'll see ya later Kouga, my shift ends soon."

"Later then." I sat down on the comfortable fur mats, looking around the small den. A light knock was heard at the entrance. I turned to see who was there and froze.

Ayame.