InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Mayumi's Story ❯ Chapter 28 ( Chapter 28 )

Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi

 

 

Mayumi's Story, Chapter 28:

 

 

The next few decades were the best of my life. Without the threat of Trace dictating my every move, I was free to be myself, open and honest and light-hearted at last. I felt as though Daichi and I were teenagers again.

 

It was easy to forget that I was fated to leave Daichi soon. In fact, I couldn't imagine it really happening anymore. Hadn't we vanquished the Bad Guy? Would it really screw up all eternity if I changed this one tiny bit of time?

 

We lay on our mat in the summer place. Daichi played with my ears with one hand while the other trailed in a light caress down my back. I shivered, despite the late summer heat. “I wish we could stay like this forever,” I sighed happily.

 

I should have known better than to say something like that out loud.

 

“Dai!” A voice shouted from outside the house.

 

Our idyll was over. Hurriedly we both dressed and went out to meet Kouga, who had come with a large group of wolf youkai. “There's trouble,” he said, and went on to tell of a youkai uprising in Gintaro's wife's village to our north.

 

When I went to strap on my sword, Daichi stopped me. “Wait here,” he told me with the smile he reserved only for me. “This shouldn't take long.” He ran his hands lightly down my spine in a promise of things to come.

 

I didn't press the issue. “Hurry back,” I said, and watched them go as I'd watched them do a hundred times before. I hummed as I straightened out our little house. Maybe I would go out for a run before bedtime, and catch myself some dinner. I needed to work the kinks out of my muscles. I smiled, as I remembered how they had gotten there.

 

My feet drew me past the cave. I hadn't intended to go there. In fact, I hadn't even thought of Trace in years. At first I thought he wasn't there. The glow from the holo had long since extinguished, and it was black enough inside the cave that even my youkai eyes had trouble picking out shapes. After a while, I spotted him slumped against the far wall, not moving. He wasn't dead. He `d as much as told me himself that his kind could not die. But he had to be terribly weak without any form of energy to sustain him for all these years.

 

“Trace!” I called. “Trace!”

 

No response. It was better this way. I don't know why I had bothered to come here. He might as well be dead for all the difference it made. I took off through the woods and caught myself a few fat rabbits for my supper. I was full after the first one. Daichi probably wouldn't be back until tomorrow or maybe the next day, so I was stuck with the other rabbit. It seemed a shame to let it go to waste.

 

“Yo!” I called again, as I stuck my arm through the barrier and tossed the extra rabbit in Trace's general vicinity. Trace never moved, and the dead rabbit lay on the cave floor a few inches away from him. I shook my head and went back to the summer house.

 

It was hot that night, and I didn't have Daichi to take my mind off it. Early the next morning I went out for a quick run before it got too warm, and again I found myself in front of Trace's cave. The rabbit was gone, although Trace appeared not to have moved.

 

“You ate it,” I said wonderingly. Despite all Trace's talk about being pure spirit, when there was no other form of energy, he ate the physical food. I don't know why that made me feel better. Maybe it was finding out that he wasn't so superior to us after all.

 

His eyes opened a crack. “Why are you here, Mayumi?” he croaked, his voice scratchy with disuse. “Did you come to gloat over tricking me?”

 

I jumped back, even though I was on the outside of the barrier. Gloat? Maybe a little. He had no reaction to my thoughts, which meant he likely couldn't read my mind across the barrier. Good. “You're one to talk,” I said. “You tricked all of us for years. You deserved what you got.”

 

Trace lowered his eyes again. He looked vulnerable, mortal. It occurred to me that he hadn't changed his physical form since he had been imprisoned. I wondered if he still had the ability to do it. On his bottom lip was a fleck of red, blood from his meal.

 

“You're bound in your physical body now, aren't you?” I guessed, piecing together what he had told me in the past with his physical condition right now. “You're just like us.”

 

Trace's eyes gleamed in the darkness. “Give me another rabbit,” he answered, “and I'll show you.”

 

He refused to talk to me after that until I went out and hunted him another rabbit or two. It was with great trepidation that I stuck my arm through the barrier to deliver his mortal food, but he was still too weak to take advantage of the situation. The sustenance gave him the strength, or should I say, the inclination, to continue our conversations. I told myself I could stop feeding him at any time, and I was only giving him enough to talk, nothing more. If I stopped, he would just get weaker again, although he still could not die.

 

Daichi returned after a few days, so I forgot about Trace for a while. When I finally went back to the cave, Trace was waiting at the entrance, as close as he could get to the powerful barrier without actually touching it. “Where were you?” he asked, sounding a little desperate and not at all like his confident self.

 

“I have a life,” I reminded him. “I shouldn't even be coming here at all.” I threw him my latest catch, and he gobbled it up, seeming to relish the sweet natural taste. “I can't stay long. Daichi will be expecting me shortly.”

 

“Your husband,” Trace said. “He's full youkai, isn't he? Is that why you chose him? What about the other one? Why did you choose this one and not the other one?”

 

It took me a minute to figure out Trace was talking about Daichi both now and in the future. “I didn't choose Daichi like that,” I told him. “We just fell in love. And I know they're the same person, but my Daichi is here and now, and that's the one I choose to be with.”

 

“But I've watched you for a long time,” Trace said. “You want to be youkai, not hanyou. You made sure you had children who were more youkai than hanyou. Did it make you angry when your oldest daughter chose a human?”

 

That wasn't true! Papa was hanyou! Mama was human! Surely I wasn't so shallow. . . . I was glad Trace couldn't read my mind at that moment, or he would have clearly seen the doubt that was there. “We are strong!” I insisted. “It doesn't matter who is hanyou or who is youkai.” I didn't say human. How could I? “Our strength comes from our differences.”

 

“You say that because that's what you have been taught,” replied Trace. “But you don't really believe it.”

 

Ooh, he made me so mad! I stomped away, determined never to see him again. That lasted all of a month. When I came back, he was waiting for me. “The jewel,” he said, as if I hadn't been gone for weeks, as if nothing had happened. “It truly doesn't exist?”

 

“Not anymore,” I said. It didn't matter if he heard the truth now. “It never should have been made physical. The power it offered was seductive to both youkai and humans—and hanyou,” I added, thinking of my father. “To obtain what you couldn't have on your own, to become more powerful, more in control. The truth was, the more power you gained, the less control of your own destiny you had. There was always someone who wanted to take it away from you.” I recited all the things I had been taught about the jewel at one time or another.

 

“So what happened to the real jewel?”

 

“Mama happened to it. She wished it away.” So simple. So profound.

 

“And yet it lives on in each of your hearts,” Trace reasoned. “The mixture of youkai and human, making you more powerful than either one alone.”

 

I was shocked. Could Trace be right? “Maybe it's safer on the inside,” I allowed, pretending for a moment that his theory might be correct. “Maybe inside our hearts the jewel does what it was meant to do, bring balance to our lives. If it's inside us, we can't fight against ourselves.” As I said it, I realized that we could, and we did, fight against ourselves every day as we battled our conscience and chose our paths. But whatever it was, `jewel' or just some combination of our genes, the mixture of human and youkai was what made us stronger.

 

Daichi found me crouched before the rock wall, and I fell silent so he wouldn't hear me talking to myself. He kissed me lightly and asked me what I was doing there. “Nothing,” I replied, and stole a last glance at Trace as Daichi wrapped an arm around my shoulders and led me away. Was it envy I saw on Trace's face?

 

 

“Isn't it ironic?” I asked, the next time I visited Trace. “You tried so hard to prevent me and my family from coming back to the past, and now you're stuck here? If you had just minded your own business, you would still be home, in the future.”

 

“I have no place there, anymore,” he murmured so softly that I had to strain my ears to catch it.

 

“And whose fault is that?” I snapped. “You make your own destiny.”

 

His head came up and he stared at me. “I tried.”

 

Trace buried his head in his hands and wouldn't look at me anymore. After a while, I got up and left, but I couldn't get his words out of my mind. He had tried. Repeatedly. And no matter what he did, he couldn't change the outcome. Here he sat, impotent and powerless, while my family thrived. He hadn't been successful in limiting us.

 

His words haunted me for another reason. Trace had tried unsuccessfully to change his destiny. What about me? Time was running out. My destiny had yet to be fulfilled. Every choice I made, whether knowingly or not, had brought me back to this point. I had a feeling that I could try all I wanted, but in the end I was destined to lose Daichi and my life in this time and place.

 

I was beginning to feel sorry for Trace. I no longer feared him. He was weak, weaker than his offshoot youkai had been when he first was captured. Lately I had been crossing the barrier to sit inside the cave, so none of my family would see me continually going back to crouch in front of the same rock. Trace never even tried to sap my energy. It was almost as if he had given up.

 

When I reflected on what I knew about Trace, I realized that to my knowledge he had never actually killed any of us. Granted, he'd admitted he sent the boar which killed Takeo, but that was indirectly, although I held Trace ultimately responsible. I couldn't be sure about Sachi, and although he implied much, he had never actually followed through with any of his threats. Maybe he wasn't as much of a Bad Guy as I thought.

 

That was wrong thinking, on my part. Trace was nowhere near being rehabilitated. Inside the cave, he could again read my thoughts. He sneered, and said, “You know nothing about me. When I get out of here, I'm going to find Megumi and finish what we started. If you can't beat `em, join `em, right?”

 

Again I felt the sick feeling in my stomach that I'd felt before when I thought of that creature touching my Megumi. Now he was implying that he would impregnate my daughter? Bile rose into my throat, and Trace laughed. I hated that laugh.

 

“You're never getting out of here!” I shouted, as I stood to leave. “You'll never see Megumi again!”

 

“What are you scared of, Mayumi?” he asked mockingly. “That our child will be more youkai than the child you carry within you now? Megumi only has a trace of human taint, while yours is fully half. That child of yours is going to die because of it.”

 

I paled. Child within me? I was pregnant? I quickly thought back and realized it was possible. It had been so long since we'd last had a baby that neither Daichi nor I had suspected it. For a brief moment, I allowed myself to feel a surge of joy. Then I remembered the rest of what Trace had said. “You're lying,” I said coldly. There couldn't be anything wrong with our baby. The youkai blood in our veins would protect him.

 

“If you don't believe me, ask that brother of yours, the doctor. He'll tell you.”

 

“How do you know all this?” I asked, and Trace laughed again. He had become stronger than I had realized in the last few months. I had to stop feeding him, both physically and mentally. I couldn't come here anymore. I literally ran out of the cave and never looked back.

 

I had to wait until someone from the future decided to pay me a visit. I was still afraid, even at this late date, that if I attempted to go back, I wouldn't be able to return. When I focused my power inward, I could tell that Trace was right—I was, indeed, pregnant. Now I was worried for my unborn child also. I decided not to tell Daichi about my pregnancy yet. Another secret. And I'd thought I was finally done with secrets.

 

Mama and Papa came about a week later. The weather was starting to get nippy, and there was already a thick layer of bright leaves on the ground. I couldn't have kept my secret from them if I tried. No matter what Trace said about hanyou, Papa was the most powerful youkai around, and he picked up on my altered scent immediately.

 

“Is the baby all right? Can you tell?” I asked him anxiously, but he just blinked at me. Questions like that were beyond his realm. “Can you get Koji?” I asked.

 

Koji came the next day, with his futuristic equipment, and he examined me, with Mama as his helper. “Yep, you're pregnant,” he quipped, and I cuffed the back of his head lightly. This was serious.

 

He folded up his equipment. “I'll have to run some tests,” he said. “I want to be sure before I say anything more. In the meantime, don't read too much into it. I'll be back as soon as I can.”

 

“`Don't read too much into it,' he says. He didn't say `Oh, Mayumi, don't worry, your baby is fine.' Now I'm really worried!”

 

Mama squeezed my hand. We sat in my summer house, Mama as usual in her miko clothes, in case anybody came by. Papa had gone to check on Trace, whatever that meant. I didn't care. Papa could kill Trace and I wouldn't shed a tear. A little later, Papa returned, grim but calm. Together we waited for Koji.

 

Papa and Mama sat on either side of me when Koji came back and gave us the news. It was grave.

 

“The left side of the baby's heart is not developing as it should,” Koji said, and I gasped. “It can be corrected,” he added quickly. “We can do an operation in utero to increase the blood flow to the affected side so the heart will grow normally. But not here. You'd have to come home.”

 

My own heart thundered in my ears and I spread my fingers over my belly as if by doing so I could somehow feel my baby's heartbeat. How could this be? Was it truly because of my human taint? I needed to get away, to think. Shrugging off my parents' arms, I stood from between them and stumbled towards the door. Behind me, I heard them talking in low whispers, before Mama came out and put her arms around me. I sobbed. “I don't know what to do.”

 

Papa stood behind Mama, looking uncomfortable. He shifted from foot to foot, then apparently he made a decision. “Kagome,” he said. “Take Koji with you and see what you can find out from Trace. He shouldn't give you any trouble,” Papa said, with that gleam in his eye that meant he'd made sure Trace couldn't give anyone any trouble. I almost felt sorry for Trace again, but I knew better.

 

“Mayumi.” Papa said next. “Let's go for a run.”

 

We ran and ran, and I willed my own blood to pump harder so that more would get to my baby. I knew that it really didn't work that way, but it made me feel like I was doing something positive. When we couldn't run any more, we stopped at the top of a cliff and panted, staring out at the world below us.

 

“I don't want to go home,” I said in a small voice as we rested. “I don't want to leave Daichi. But I don't want my baby to die. What should I do?”

 

Papa shrugged, his eyes still focused on the scenery below us. “You know you have to decide,” he said quietly.

 

“How can I leave him, Papa?” I asked. “How can I leave my life here? It's all I know.”

 

Papa turned his head and focused his golden eyes on me. “No, it's not.”

 

And I thought about him and Mama, and Koji and Kazuki, and even Fenn. They had all been part of my life here, and also on the other side. Dai was waiting on the other side, too. I knew that. I'd hurt Dai terribly by running away from him when I was a teenager. How could I hurt him again by disappearing now? It seemed that no matter what I did, I always hurt somebody. I told that to Papa, and he chuckled.

 

“It only feels that way,” he said. “They're stronger than you think.”

 

Except my baby wasn't.

 

“I want this baby. Is it right? Maybe my baby's heart is damaged for a reason. Maybe Trace was right, and this is my punishment for trying to live where I don't belong.”

 

“Bullshit,” my father said frankly. “You have the power to come here so it's right for you.”

 

What my father didn't say was that I also had the power to return to a time where my baby's defect could be repaired. He didn't say it out loud because he wanted me to be clear that it was completely my decision. I didn't want to have to make that decision!

 

I leaned my head against his shoulder and he gathered me into his chest like he used to do when I was little. “I love him so much,” I sobbed, thinking of Daichi.

 

“I know,” replied Papa, stroking my hair.

 

When we got back to the summer place, Mama and Koji were already there. I still didn't know what I was going to do, but I felt the weight of my own destiny settling heavily onto my shoulders.

 

“Did you talk to Trace?” I asked Mama.

 

She glanced disapprovingly at Papa before replying. “In a way. He could barely speak.”

 

Papa looked blandly back at her.

 

“He strikes out when he fears he's losing control,” Mama continued. “I don't think he means it.”

 

“Did he say something to you?” Papa asked her sharply. “Did he hurt you?”

 

Koji shook his head, and Mama said, “No. As I said, he could hardly talk, he was so bloody. He knows Mayumi won't be coming to see him anymore. I told him that none of us would, and he seemed to sincerely regret that.”

 

Whether I decided to stay in this era or go home to save my baby, either way I would never visit Trace again. I had already made up my mind. “Don't believe him,” I cautioned my mother. “He doesn't regret a thing.” I knew my mother still had hopes of `saving' Trace.

 

I sent them all back home. Koji said I still had some time to make a decision, but I shouldn't wait too long, for the baby's sake. I closed my eyes. I knew what I had to do, but it hurt.