InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Methods of the Heart ❯ I Hate the Way I Don’t Hate You ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Hello again all. I’m back. Miss me? :-) I worked as hard as I could, I swear. I have the grades to prove it! My friends think I’ve died! Not really, heh. But I did work hard! I hope you like this. As usual the thank you awards go to my beta readers who keep me from just doing what ever the heck I want. And my beloved, adored, patient, and oh so wonderful editor who puts up with me even though I can be a real brat. I promise no more freaking out on you!

Author’s Notes: Okay. Some people have had some questions about my choices and decisions. I do take criticism to heart. I’d like to mention a few things. Sango’s been with Inu-Yasha and Co for about a week and a half. The whole time she has been living with Miroku and having to follow him around. She’s also in both physical and emotional pain.

When she woke up in my last chapter she was experiencing more of a night terror then a bad-dream or nightmare. But that aside, I guess I’ll slow down the relationship. I just thought you guys wanted a little romance before chapter six. And personally I wanted to stay under twenty five chapters but okay. n.n Though wilt. Plus I was trying to lighten things up a little. I have this terrible habit of going down drama road in just about anything I write. If I don’t take measures... Well let’s just say it gets worse and leave it at that.

Also I feel I owe a little apology for the SOMEWHAT random scene with Koga and Inu-Yasha in this chapter. It’s just that I was watching ep. 117. Highly recommended for all Kagome/Inu-Yasha lovers. And I do so love watching Koga and Inu-Yasha’s battle of wits. (or lack there of.)

Disclaimers: I don’t own Inu-Yasha. But so long as I am a member of the rabid fan girls association we will continue to send death threats to make sure it never goes off the air. (Kidding! There’s no rabid fan girl association. We’re still working on getting organized- I mean uhhh...)

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Chapter Four: I Hate the Way I Don’t Hate You

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The next morning, Sango quietly detached herself from Miroku before he woke up and slipped out the door. She walked around the edge of the village. When she saw Miroku she’d disappear down another route. She didn’t want to be near him. Not after that. She missed breakfast and at lunch just asked Kagome for a plate and went far away from everyone else.

It was sitting on a rock away from everyone else that Inu-Yasha caught up to her. He told her that food had run low and some of them would be raiding, including Miroku. And since he was her Vigilante, she had to stay in the center of the village and not go far. He also told her he also told her he’d bring back information about Kohaku.

That was how Sango found herself sitting on a rock, tapping the ground with a stick, bored silly. Inactivity was driving her up the wall. She’d debating asking Inu-Yasha if she could go along but having to face Miroku... She shook her head.

She’d been thinking about it all morning; this situation. She wasn’t use to people caring about her since her family. It confused her. And having to spent all of her time with him... Sango knew she shouldn’t feel special. This was probably how he got every other woman here into his bed.

Miroku, on the other hand. Sango wasn’t sure what was his deal. Maybe this was just how he treated everyone. She toyed with the idea that it might be admiration, particularly of her figure, but also of something else.

Sango didn’t know what if that was true. She wasn’t that special. She was scarred all over. And there had to be better women who were far more interesting with fewer problems in their lives. Sango sighed. She needed something to do. She hadn’t had this much time to think since she was twelve.

She didn’t dwell on that thought; that day. While she tried to think of anything else, Kagome appeared as a blessed distraction. She was holding the hands of two children, one five-year-old boy and one three-year-old girl, both with silver hair and brown eyes. Also, on her shoulders sat a little fox child.

“Hey Sango.” She smiled at the fighter, sitting down next to her. The three kids took off like a shot to go play. “Don’t go far!”

Sango smiled back. “Their cute.”

“More like rambunctious.” Kagome grinned. “So what are you doing out here all by yourself?”

Sango shrugged, letting out a sigh. “I don’t know. Nothing really. I’m more bored more than anything else.” She pounded the ground with her stick a couple times. “When are the other’s getting back?”

“Missing Miroku already?”

Sango scowled at Kagome in response and the mother jumped back a couple inches sorry she’d even said it. “Hardly. I’m just tired of having to sit put with nothing to do.”

“Yeah. I know the feeling. Sitting here waiting around. When I’m with Inu-Yasha I feel I can help him. That I can keep him out of trouble. But staying here.” She shrugged. “I feel helpless and I worry he’ll do something stupid and get killed.”

Sango’s eyes widened. “You fight?” She blinked. There was more to this girl than met the eye.

Kagome blushed. “I have some power. I’m kind of a miko.” At Sango’s disbelieving stare she went on. “I’m not that great. I haven’t had much training.”

“Why did you stop? Fighting mean.” The warrioress smiled as the girl walked up, handing them both flowers.

“I haven’t. Not really.” She placed a hand to her stomach over her white blouse. Only than could the slight bulge of her tummy be noticed. “Once this one is outside and a little bigger I’ll continue.”

Sango nodded. A comfortable silence fell between the two and they just watched the children play. After a few more minutes, Kagome spoke up again. “How’s the back? Better?”

“You can take a look if you want.” Sango turned her back to the miko and looked over her shoulder. “It’s almost healed. Still scabbed where the whip was deepest though. It itches all the time.

Kagome lifted up the back of her shirt a little. There were still long gashes in various crisscross patterns, but only a darken scar that spread across her whole back and was quickly fading. Sango wouldn’t be unmarred, but she was healing. “I’m amazed you’re recovering so quickly. Most people don’t heal this fast.”

Sango shrugged. “Occupational hazard.”

“I must have been hard. Working in the fighting pits.”“The alternative was not an option.” Sango shrugged. “Besides, I’ve always been very strong. I like the fighting, not so much the killing though.”

Kagome nodded. “Listen, I have to go make some rounds on a few other injured around the village. The kids are awful when they have to go with me. Could you watch them?”

Sango gulped. “Umm... I suppose.”

Kagome patted her on the shoulder. “Just don’t let them smell your fear and you’ll be fine.” Kagome walked off before Sango could change her mind.

All three kids gathered around the warrioress. “Uh.. Hi. You’re mother will be right back. I’ll be watching you to than so… umm. Just don’t go far okay?”

The trio looked at one another. They nodded. “Get her!” They shouted in unison, before tackling the woman to the ground, tickling her.

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“Okay, ready? Kick!” The three children kicked in unison. “Kick!” They kicked the other foot. “Kick!” And again.

Kagome grinned clapping her hands. “My little soldiers.” She smiled.

Sango looked up blushing. “I was just.. I’m sorry. Should I not have-“

“No no! I think it’s great.” She waved a hand. “And I’m sure Inu-Yasha will be thrilled.”

Sango scratched the back of her head. “It’s just I wasn’t much older when my father taught me.”

“That must have been nice.” Kagome looked far off for a moment. “Well I’m going to get dinner ready than, since you’re doing so well. Please continue.”

Sango nodded, turning back to the kids. She called for a few more kicks until she was sure they understood. Than she taught them how to throw a punch. “Ball your fist, with your front two fingers, flat. Never wrap your fingers around your thumb. And keep your arm bent just a little, okay.” They nodded. After a few calls for punches and minor corrections Sango had them going. It was good practice, and it showed them what to do, so Sango joined in, moving with them.

This was what Miroku came home to. He smiled. She was just full of surprises. Anyone could fight and fight well. But not many could teach. He grinned, deciding to sneak up on her hot sweaty form.

Sango sensed an approaching danger. It was trying to hide it’s self but it was still there. She forced herself to relax, even as she felt it reaching for her. If she let on that she knew, what ever it was that was approaching her, it might sense her nervousness and change attacks.

When a pair of hands shot out at either side of her head, She reached back, grabbing elbows. She than pulled and hunched over, dragging her attacker off balance. She pulled again, lifting up her back and also the thing on it.

Miroku flew over her head and landed on his back with a heavy ‘oof’ and a rather winded pair of lungs. It didn’t help matters when she put her foot on his chest and she was still holding his arms.

The kids clapped. “That was amazing! Can you do that again?” Shippou grinned.

Sango frowned, letting Miroku go. “Are you suicidal? Don’t sneak up on me!” She turned around, crossing her arms.

Miroku forced himself to sit up and breathe deeply. “I was just saying hi.”

“There are much better ways.” Sango continued to frown, not facing him.

Miroku cleared his throat. “Kids, I think dinner is ready. Why don’t you go find your mother?”

There was some pushing and shoving and mutters of food and yays. In seconds they were gone. With a grin, Miroku turned back to Sango. But she persisted in not turning in his direction, refusing to look at him. He sighed. “Sango... Are you at least going to tell me what I did wrong? You’ve been mad at me all day.”

“I’m not mad. I just don’t feel like talking, all right?” She dropped her arms to her side, her head falling a little. Still she didn’t turn. If anything she was debating running away.

Miroku sighed. “I wish you would. You were screaming and thrashing around for ten minutes last night before you woke up.”

“I was what?” This time she did turn to look at him, eyes huge with both shock and doubt. She didn’t remember that. All she remembered was waking up with a deep sense if sadness and fear. And then waking up again the next morning with Miroku enfolding her. It was only the fact they were both dressed and she was pretty sure she would have remembered if anything happened that she didn’t start screaming and beating him senseless. She opted instead to leave.

Miroku looked at her confused. How could she not know or remember or remember her own dream? One so terrifying at that had to be memorable. Yet they way she was staring at him. No. She didn’t remember it at all. Interesting.

With a slight hesitation he resolved to tell her what he remembered of last night. “Last night. You’re eyes were open but I’m sure you were dreaming. I was trying to wake you up. Then when finally did you were upse-“

Sango glared at him. It was a look that said that if he valued his life he wouldn’t finish that sentence. “I don’t remember any of that.” She hissed. And she wasn’t going to remember it for the rest of her life. She didn’t cry. She didn’t have nervous breakdowns and she most certainly did NOT sleep in men’s arms all night.

Miroku opened his mouth for one short moment before closing it again. He saw her fist balled at her side. He knew the sign. This was better to be let go. Still...

“My apologies. I must have been thinking of something else. But lets say that a certain warrior was very upset about her family and weight of that finally hit her, leading her to a terribly stressful event. At which time the monk that was with her became very concerned for her. After helping her to calm down and return to sleep, he woke the next morning to find her very gone and was immediately worried what she might try to do something to herself-“

“I’m not that dumb!” One more word like that out of him and she wouldn’t hesitate to hit him. This whole story was getting on her nerves.

“I never said you were.” He shrugged. “I’m worried about you. I know you’re strong but I want you to know you don’t have to go through this alone. Please. I’m here to talk when you’re ready. This is not an offer of pity. Simply an offer.” With that Miroku turned and left. He’d said what he needed to say. Let her think about it for a while.

After getting some distance between himself and her, he turned around to study her for a moment more. But only when he was sure she wasn’t watching.

He admired her. While he had watched his father die, she had... Well he wasn’t sure all of it. But she held herself responsible for her little brother. And her mother and father? He didn’t know. Even when he had no family he still had Kagome. But then again it wasn’t exactly fair to mourn through her.

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The next few days Sango was left to her own devices. She walked around the village, talked with Kagome a lot. She’d go to sleep and there’d be no one there but some time late in the night she’d here a mild rustling that let her know he’d just entered. When she’d wake up again in the morning he’d be gone again. She felt alone at night; as though it was now her hut and Miroku had vanished

But everywhere she walked Miroku was nearby. Never in the way. Never a bother. Just close. She would turn to fully look at him, and he’d smile, wave and walk away. He kept his presence neither irritating nor comforting. Never a bother and always just there. And when he was spotted he’d always go away for a while only to start again. He would be anywhere from watching her from across the village or on a higher peek of the mountain or three feet behind her. And he was so damned careful not to be unnerving about it.

Sango often wondered if the times she’d spotted him watching her had been on purpose. As though he was trying to let her know he was there. It was like being haunted but he probably saw it as guardian angel. Kagome had explain that he was just being.. Well.. Vigilante.

Sango wasn’t sure how to feel about the whole mess of it. Normally she’d been angry that someone felt the need to stalk her... But he wasn’t exactly wrong. She’d thought about it. When that terrible anguish had hit her that night all she wanted to do was find her family in the after life.

Now, however, the plan was to live just to spite Miroku. Show him he’d been wrong after all. And he’d never have to know how close he’d come to the truth.

Sango didn’t really believe. She just told it to herself. He knew. He known from the moment she’d woke up crying. Somewhere deep down, Sango understood that. It was what kept her from beating him to a pulp and telling him to get the hell away from her.

Now she’d been debating going and talking to him. It had to be better then this bizarre arrangement they had going. His last words stayed with her. He was waiting for her to go to him. And not a minute before.

Still, conceding like that and admitting that he was right. She couldn’t think of it. Not to him! She’d rather put up with her guardian five steps behind her then tell him he’d been right and she was upset and her whole family died because of her and she didn’t deserve to live and-

“Sango! There you are.” A smiling male face intruded. There she was. There she WAS?!?! Like he didn’t know!

She crossed her arms and turned away from him. “What do you want Miroku?”

He kept smiling. “Testy today huh?” Sango wanted to wipe the smirk from his face. So what if she’d just been thinking about wanting to talk to him. She’d been thinking about a lot of things she’d wanted to do and had no intention of doing.

As a matter of fact, how dare he come speak to her after swearing not to! After not speaking to her for days and following her around like some sort of guard dog that had decided she was so helpless.

She turned to tell him off but he grabbed her hand. “You looked bored. I was wondering if you wanted to meet some travelers from another tribe not far from here?”

Sango forgot for the moment that she was pissed because she was more bored then anything else. It was a boredom that had been growing steadily worse for the last couple of weeks. Having this much time to herself was becoming hazardous to her mental health and any distraction was welcome. Also the thought that there was another group of people like Inu-Yasha’s... And not far from here.

If they were coming here they must have been allies. Which meant there were more rebels. Maybe, even, a hundred villages more like this one.

She inhaled deeply. “Okay.”

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Mirok u happily took her hand only to receive a low growl and let it go, opting instead just to lead her to where the other’s would be arriving. When they got closer he realized they were early and it would still be sometime before their associates arrived.

But as luck would have it, Kagome and Inu-Yasha were already there and waiting... And arguing. Miroku could guess about what and he kept a snicker to himself. He stopped a few feet away waiting for either one of them to notice they had an audience of two.

“You called WHO already?!” Inu-Yasha was ready to shake the damn woman. How could she do that? She knew how he felt!

“Relax. We need to trade some of these goods for food already and Koga’s tribe is very good at hunting.”

“Feh. You mean stealing.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“What’s going on?” Sango felt a little like she was eavesdropping. Mainly because she was. But also she wanted to understand what was going on. So she stepped ahead of Miroku and questioned the pair. She thought she was meeting with foreigners to this tribe not spying on an agruing couple. Miroku, for his part, said nothing, just hung in the background and watched everything play out, as it will.

Kagome responded first, turning to Sango as if she’d been there all along and smiling at her. “We got more goods than food this time. So what we usually do is trade with the leader of a wolf demon tribe called Koga.”

“You mean the bastard that keeps sniffing your butt.”“SIT!” WHAM. Kagome frowned, thoroughly embarrassed. Did he have to put it that way? She coughed twice, turning to Sango. “He means... Koga has a little crush on me.”

Inu-Yasha pushed himself up. “Little nothing. He’s still mad you chose me over him.”

Kagome was about to yell at him again but Koga arrived. “Oi! Kagome. You called about the food?” He grinned stepping up to her slowly. “You know I’d do anything for you.”

Inu-Yasha cracked his knuckles. “That does it.”

Kagome grabbed his arm, roughly, though Inu-Yasha barely noticed. “Do you want your kids to go hungry?”

The half demon glowered. “Fine.” Inu-Yasha took a few more steps and held out his hand. Koga did the same and the two clasped arms. The grip immediately tightened.

“Feh. Hey wolf breath. How are ya?” He forced himself to smile as he patted the leader of the wolf tribe on the shoulder rigidly. Well it wasn’t so much patting as hitting. Neither of them let go of the other’s arm.

“Just fine dog face. How’s Kagome? She miss me?” Koga also plastered on a grin of his own. He squeezed Inu-Yasha’s forearm harder, if that was at all possible.

Inu-Yasha’s grasp tighten in reflex. He wasn’t going to get ‘one-upped’, even in a hand shake “She’s fine. Having our third.” He gloated, leaning in closer this time with a genuine smirk. Of course he was going to gloat. Koga was his largest rival for Kagome. He’d almost lost her to the wimpy wolf. But she loved him. And she was having his kids.

“Really. How’dja talk her into that one, eh?” Koga was ready to rip his head off. HIS Kagome having another one of those quarter mutt bred children. And he was gloating about THAT? Koga wished Kagome would just wise up already.

Outwardly they were both nice and polite and friendly... Just as two leaders should be. But Kagome and Miroku could see (and even Sango could sense) the angry jolts cracking and popping around the two. They lean in closer to each other, arms shaking from the force of both grips.

“Now about that food.” Kagome stepped up, placing her hands on both men’s shoulders. “We got a lot of money and silk but apparently the food had already been sent off by the time we got there. Think you could help?”

Koga took both Kagome’s hands in his, completely forgetting his arm-wrestling competition with Inu-Yasha. “Easy. Just show me whatcha got and I’ll see what my tribe can do for ya.”

Inu-Yasha put his arm around Kagome’s shoulders and pulled her close, hands slipping out of Koga’s grasp. “Think you could do it without touching her? Huh?” Koga ground his teeth.

Kagome calmly detached the arm from her person. “This way.” She led Koga off.

Inu-Yasha blinked for a second before following after. “Hey where do you think you’re going?!” No where alone with Kagome, he’d see to that!

Sango shook her. Well that had been interesting. She covered her hand with her mouth, her body shaking a little.

Miroku blinked looking over at the warrioress. He smirked. She was trying not to laugh. He grinned at her. He knew then that he wanted to see it; wanted to make her laugh completely. “I’m amazed. Inu-Yasha must finally be maturing.” He turned to a now suprised Sango, whose eyes danced with the laughter trying to escape. “Usually he would have started a fist fight by now.”

It was just a small snicker at first. Her brow knitting together as her eyes closed. The sound grew and grew until it was a tiny, almost inaudible, laugh. It was like a small bell being shook to Miroku and he watched as she doubled over, still covering her mouth, her whole frame alive with laughter.

Miroku couldn’t help but feel a pride of some sort. He didn’t know why. She just always seemed so somber and so... alone. Hearing her laugh like this... He didn’t know.

Once she’d finally calmed down she took a deep breath and pulled her hands away. She was still smiling and her cheeks were flushed.

“Lets go.” They were the nicest words she’d ever said to him. And even though he hadn’t known her long he understood what she meant. She wasn’t saying I’m bored, lets go find something else to do. She was saying, maybe you’d make a good friend after all.
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