InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Mistakes ❯ in the end ( Chapter 1 )

~<>~ In the end ~<>~

 

I would like to consider this a tribute to one of my favorite bands, Linkin Park, and my all time favorite television show, InuYasha. Though it's a song fic, there is very much so a story behind it. Hope you enjoy, and I warn you of the angst and insinuated character death before hand. (life gets better, don't worry. What goes down must at some point come back up)

- a couple spoilers…those who want to see it for themselves, stop reading…or just ignore what you read. For those who do, the story picks up with the gang right after the final episode (167), with the others looking for Naraku's heart.

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Chapter 1- in the End-© Linkin Park

 

 

It starts with….

 

InuYasha ducked under a tentacle that flew at his head and jumped over another. “Now, Kikyo!”

Kikyo, who stood a few feet behind the fighting group, lifted her bow as her arrow began to glow blue. “Naraku, you've lived to long!” She let the arrow fly towards the demon, hitting him square in the chest. InuYasha dodged another stray tentacle and smiled sadistically as he watched Naraku howl in pain. The battle had been abrupt and unplanned and this time they might just have a chance to win. It had been Kikyo, actually, who met up with the five in woods and disclosed the location of Naraku's heart. To purify his heart would defeat the demon, she had told Kagome. None of the others had been happy with Kikyo's appearance, and shocking enough, the angriest had been InuYasha. Miroku had guessed that the brash anger had something to do with how close InuYasha had been to Kagome lately; they had not left each other's side in a month.

When Kikyo appeared, she tried to get between the two. After finally becoming annoyed with the same ridiculous, InuYasha had barked at her one night, casting a verbal warning of “back off, Kikyo! I won't say it again.”

At that point, the group had expected Kikyo to depart and leave them to finish the mission by herself yet she stayed. Though, she of course, avoided talking to the hanyou or the miko but had still divulged the location of Naraku's heart. Miroku finished his thoughts of the matter with a rather bland outlook to Kagome under the cover of night, “she wants to find her eternal peace, and cannot do it without making someone go to hell with her. She wants her revenge though now she has finally realized it will not be InuYasha who will be going with her to hell. She will take a life with her though, and it's going to be Naraku.”

Kikyo had led the group to the hidden temple in the middle of literal nowhere. Discussing the best option, they realized no demon could enter the temple, which left Miroku, Sango and Kagome to get the heart. Miroku and Sango volunteered for the task and against his better judgment, InuYasha allowed them to venture inside to get it. InuYasha didn't want to believe Kikyo was helping them…it pained him to know that maybe a piece of her was still left inside of the clay shell of a body she possessed. Yet when Naraku appeared outside the temple in a vengeful rage, he knew she was right. InuYasha had attacked the demon as soon as he appeared and held him at bay, giving Miroku a few extra minutes to get to the urn.

The whole mission laid on the shoulders of the lecherous monk, and all of them knew it. Sango had gone as his bodyguard…and as his friend. InuYasha knew that they belonged together, and Sango would have killed herself if something happened and she was not by his side. He knew that feeling; he felt it every time he laid eyes on Kagome. Kagome. His eyes flew across the field to see the girl fighting with an onslaught of demons, keeping them at bay with her arrows. `That a girl,' he thought as he dodged another worthless swing from Naraku. `Just a little longer Kagome, you can do it!' He turned in time to see an arrow fly by his head…nearly hitting him…and sticking into Naraku's side. He turned to stare at Kikyo, who was staring dead on at Naraku. “Wench, watch where you're aiming!” He let out a deep sigh, suddenly wondering if she was trying to take them both out in one swing. Making a mental note to ask her later, he resulted to scowling. He turned back to jump over a tentacle that flew at his chest. As he flew into the air, he spotted Miroku running from the temple like the devil was on his heels. He wasn't to far from the truth. Thousands of spirits chased the slayer and the monk from the temple…spirits that InuYasha was sure were sired from Naraku. “Kagome!” he turned back to find himself face to face with an approaching tentacle. He tried to dodge it but in a last second thought, unhitched tetsusaiga and sliced through the offending limb. Another arrow whizzed by his ear as he landed on the ground and hit Naraku again, who had caught sight of the monk with his heart. “Shit! Kagome, what the fuck are you waiting for?”

Kagome heard her name and knew what that meant. Miroku had been successful. Grabbing an arrow, she turned on her heels and ran away from the demons that were everywhere. `How are we holding all of them off?' she ran towards Miroku, stabbing any demon that got in her way with the arrow she held so tightly in her hand. Reaching his side, she threw open the urn. `This is what we've waited for…a break in this bleak future. Can this really be it? Can we really win like this?'

Naraku turned with a thundering roar and ran towards the three. Kikyo darted in front of him and erected a barrier around the three. With a growl, he shot forth a tentacle that pierced Kikyo's stomach. “die you insufferable wench!”

Kagome watched in horror as Kikyo took the limb through her body. Shockingly, much like the previous time he had impaled her, her body did not crumble. Turning her attention back to the task at hand, she lifted up her arrow and jammed it into the heart.

Inuyasha's eyes widened as he saw Kikyo take the fatal blow and lifted his sword. A blinding light interrupted his thought process and he vaguely heard Kagome scream, “Now InuYasha!” He raised Tetsusaiga and brought it to the ground with a screaming, “Kaze no Kizu!” four lines of death erupted through the earth and ran towards Naraku. The beast turned and held his hand out, shooting out more tentacles at InuYasha yet the flames consumed them. Kikyo pulled away from Naraku just in time and hurled herself towards the boy who she had once loved with all her heart. He ran towards her, shielding her with his hands from the blast.

Naraku saw the flames coming towards him. With a growl, he tried to escape yet failed miserably. With an anguish filled howl, his boy exploded in the angry powerful blast from the other hanyou, ending his existence.

Miroku, Sango and Kagome gasped at they watched Naraku disappear in the blast. Shielding their eyes, the barrier around them weaker then faded away. Kagome was the first to venture out and ran towards InuYasha. `Did we really just win?'

One thing I don't know why,

It doesn't even matter how hard you try.

Kagome reached InuYasha and stopped dead in her tracks. He was sitting on the ground, Kikyo's head in his lap. He gazed up at her with such sorrow in his eyes, Kagome had to try hard not to winch. They had come so far together as a team and as more…at least it was more to her. She reached out slowly and called to him, yet her voice was lost in the wind. She noticed the hole in the girl's stomach and grimaced. `That's bad…worse then the last one. Does that mean that she's going to die…. what is InuYasha going to do? He said it himself that he doesn't care about her in those ways any more…does he still feel obligated to her?' before she realized it, Miroku and Sango were by her side staring just as well.

InuYasha turned to stare at his three friends, emotions tearing him in five different directions. He was elated that they finally destroyed Naraku but was still apprehensive. He was relieved that it was over, yet he was pessimistic that it had truly been that easy. He felt a part of his heart breaking while he watched Kikyo struggle to breath yet felt comfort in the fact that she would soon be in peace. Slowly, he lifted Kikyo in his arms and stood slowly. “We need to get her back to Kaede's.” He didn't mean for his voice to sound so distant. He stared at her and all the emotions from the past three years overwhelmed him. `Is she still going to have to go to hell?' with a grunt, he stared at the three, “have Kirara bring you back, I'll meet you back there.”

Kagome gasped and reached out to him. `He isn't really going to go with her, is he? Please don't let him have changed his mind! I need him with me…he promised…. he promised to protect me.' a small voice in the back of her mind mocked her as she slowly climbed onto Kirara. `You foolish girl, he did protect you. Your job is over and Naraku is dead. The jewel will be complete. Now you can go home, like you promised, he can go to hell like he promised and you'll be alone…again.' with a gasp, she turned to face Miroku and Sango. “Wait!” She ran back towards where Naraku had been incinerated and stared around. “Where is it?” she gasped as the shining light overwhelmed her sight. Walking forward, she pulled the jewel of four souls from his remains. `Its just about whole…my job really is almost done.' Sadly, she clenched it to her chest as she slowly turned back to her friends. She sighed as she climbed onto Kirara's back. “Lets go back.”

Miroku reached out to her shoulder, trying to comfort her but fell short of it. He knew that her heart was in the process of breaking. Shaking his head slowly, he helped the girls onto Kirara's back. `If he goes to hell with Kikyo, I swear to all that is holy I'll drag him back myself then kill him. He is meant to be with Kagome just like I am meant to be with Sango.' a small smile crept to his face as he sat down behind Sango, cautiously wrapping his arms around her waist. `Naraku's dead…both of us have avenged what we needed to. Now what?' to his shock, Sango gently laid a hand on his and looked over her shoulder to give him a smile. `Maybe the next path is commitment.' He grinned at Kirara took off towards the village.

Keep that in mind

I designed this rhyme

To explain in due time

All I know….

Kagome got off Kirara's back and stared out at the village. With a sigh, she watched as Miroku and Sango walked off towards the rolling green hills that lined the village. A part of her wanted to follow the pair but she knew they needed their space. If life were a fairytale then Miroku would ask Sango to marry him, the wicked witch would die and she would live happily ever after with InuYasha. `I gave my life for these people. My teenage years…three years that I should have spent gossiping over boys like Hojo and attending school and proms and dances. I haven't even gotten my first kiss yet. I missed my entire teenage years for this.' the wind whipped her hair around her body as she wrapped her arms around herself. `I would do it again, of course, in a heartbeat. These people are my family…. they are my friends. But now what? Where is my place when those two get married and have kids…where is my place if InuYasha goes with Kikyo? Where do I belong?' she closed her eyes as a tear streaked her face. `I…I am in love with InuYasha, but I'm not foolish, I know he'll never return it. He's a man of his word…' even though she wanted to hope against hope, she needed reassurance. Slowly she walked to Kaede's. Outside, Kirara had curled around a sleeping Shippo. `Thank god we didn't take him with us. I don't know what I would have done if he was hurt.' She wandered down the dirt trail, lost in her own thoughts as she gazed to the sunset. `Its so peaceful here…but this isn't my home. I hardly know my brother anymore. I haven't seen him grow up. My mother…. she won't be around forever and yet here I am, gallivanting around the feudal era, trying to keep a promise to fix something I broke. What if something happened to mom when I was here? What if she died and I didn't know?' she closed her eyes and counted backwards from ten very slowly, trying to get her mind back into focus. She sighed as she turned to gaze out, her eyes falling onto the silhouettes of her friends who sat next to each other a few feet away. Then the unexpected happened. Miroku turned to Sango on one knee. Kagome didn't need to see a ring; she didn't need to see Sango's expression. She watched with tear filled eyes as her friend launched herself into the houshi's arms. Kagome already knew Sango's answer. `His Kanzana is gone. His life is secure, as is hers…for now at least. They will be happy together. Like I prophesied…'

Time is a valuable thing

Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings

Watch it count down till the end of the day

The clock ticks life away

It's so unreal…

Kagome felt the smile on her lips as she slowly walked back towards Kaede's. `Time really has changed, hasn't it? So much has changed since I landed here. Miroku has nearly stopped with his Hentia antics…Sango has learned to forgive and trust. She has a task ahead of her, lying her brother and her hatred to rest, but she'll be okay….with Miroku she'll be okay. They have always been right for each other…. whether or not they would ever have admitted it, they had to have known. Shippo…he's grown from such a small child to the grown boy I know and love. He's come so far…grown so much. He was so broken when we met him.' reaching Kaede's she bent down and ran a hand through his red hair, but the young boy hardly noticed and if he had, he didn't stir. `I don't want to leave him but I think he's going to be okay, whether I'm here or not. I remember his first love…his first battle. He's made me so proud.' Standing up, her eyes fell onto the hut. Inside, she knew InuYasha was with Kikyo. `Kikyo has come a long way as well, whether I want to admit it or not. She has learned to forgive InuYasha and released him from the responsibly of her death. She actually began to live again. Yet she still yearns for him, she still wants to be with him. I wonder if Miroku was right in his assumptions for why she helped us. Is she really ready to be laid to rest? Will she go quietly…will InuYasha…' with a sigh, the silver haired demon crossed her mind. `InuYasha. He was so belligerent when I first met him; so volatile, so untrusting, so cold. Now…so many days I want to believe he knows what he means to me. Without him, my world wouldn't exist…yet can I continue to exist like this? Can I really live my life in two places? I'll never move on…I'll never get married, have kids. Can I really live in the feudal era with him? Is he going to want me here when the jewel is completed?' she pulled the jewel from her pocket and stared at it. `all I'm missing is the two shards out of Kouga. He won't easily give them up…but in time I'm sure he'll learn he doesn't have much of a choice.' With a hesitant sigh, she moved closer to the hut, `I need to know what he's doing. I feel so empty without him next to me.' She moved to pull back the curtain when the voices from inside fell upon her ears. Peeking through, what she saw stopped her heart. Kikyo was sitting in front of InuYasha, her face more pale then usual. She had both of her hands on his shoulders and was whispering.

The girl gave him a sincere smile that turned Kagome's stomach in knots. “So that is your decision? Are you sure InuYasha? Once it is done, then it is so…”

InuYasha gave a shallow laugh and shrugged, “love can make you do strange things…you know this.”

Kikyo nodded and the smile that started small grew. “So, it is love then?”

InuYasha ran a hand through his hair; he looked like he was fighting with himself. With a deep breath, he slowly nodded, his eyes falling from hers. “Yes, it is. I wasn't sure at one point, with so many other distractions. But I think you've helped me come to that decision, whether you realized it or not.”

Kikyo gave a painful gasp and closed her eyes, clutching her wound. Her eyes meeting his, she whispered, “I realize it,” she brought a hand to his cheeks, gently stroking his skin, “as I have realized that I was always in love with you, even when you angered me so.”

InuYasha seemed shocked and immediately embraced the girl. After a moment, he pulled back with a small sigh. “Look, I promised, Kikyo…” he closed his eyes and shook his head slowly, “…and you should know I am a man of my word.”

Kikyo leaned in and gave him a weak hug. “What of your other promise? Does she not matter anymore to you?”

InuYasha paused and Kagome's heart broke.

Didn't look out below

Watch the time go

Right out the window

Trying to hold on

But didn't even know

Wasted it all just to

Watch you go

Kagome let go of the curtain and slammed herself against the hut, her eyes instantly filled with tears. `He's leaving me…he's leaving me for that cold bitch! How could I have been so stupid? How could I have actually believed he would care about me? I never mattered; I was only a jewel shard detector, just like he told Miroku.' She grabbed the jewel out of her pocket and stared at it for a long moment, watching the gentle pinks swirl around the beautiful pearl like creation. `This small thing is the center of our relationship…its all our relationship has mattered about.' she felt the tears sliding down her face as she walked numbly towards Shippo, lying to herself every step of the way. `I can't do this anymore…my job is done. I am free of my responsibilities.' Bending down, she placed the jewel over Shippo's head. Kirara sat up instantly, her wide orange eyes staring at Kagome. “Oh Kirara, I've been a fool. I gave up everything for him…foolhardily enough to believe that he would do the same. Things are going to change, Kirara…I want you to make sure Shippo gives this to InuYasha. He deserves his wish, and I'm sure it will be to bring Kikyo back to life. Take care of Shippo, Kirara. Take him with you and Sango.”

The fire cat took a step towards Kagome, her eyes darting between the girl and the young cub. “Please, Kirara, take care of everyone.” Her eyes fell onto the hill where Sango and Miroku were. `They will be so hurt I didn't say goodbye, but they are so happy, I don't want to impose. What could they say this time? I know his decision…its final…it's done. This is my problem, mine to handle, I have no other choice but to accept his decision and move on…just not here.' Taking a few steps backwards, she felt more tears spill down her cheeks. She wanted to run to him, she wanted to be in his arms on more time. She wanted time to reverse. `I'd take a thousand more battles with Naraku then to have him leave me.' she felt her heart shattering into a thousand pieces as everything she had come to love, come to trust left her. `is the first heartbreak supposed to hurt like this? am I supposed to feel like I'm dying?' she wiped her face with the back of her hand and took two more steps backwards. `I should have told him…I should have told him long ago how I felt.' With a small InuYasha like scoff, she shook her head. `What good would it have done? It was never me he saw…like the first time I learned of them…he didn't see me when he almost kissed me, he saw her. It was always her.' with a sob, she slowly realized, `I have no place here. I have no place at home. I…I have nothing. I gave everything to this and for what; to feel broken, to feel so utterly helpless, and to be abandoned? No, I will not just wait for it, not this time.' She whispered into the impending darkness, “goodbye InuYasha.”

 

I kept everything inside

And even though I

It all fell apart

What it meant to me

Will eventually be

A memory of a time

Kagome ran blindly through the woods, her tears pouring down her face. She reached the old well and paused, resting her hands on the old wood. `I will seal the well on the other side. That way there cannot be the possibility of anyone stumbling on the secret once InuYasha is in hell.' The thought of him actually giving into Kikyo's wish burned her blood. `Its not fair…not just for me but for him. He should be allowed to live…I want him to live! He promised to protect me…but he couldn't. He could never have protected me from himself.' more tears flowed down her cheeks as she stared into the depths of the well. `Once I'm on the other side, I will never be able to return. Without the shards…without the jewel.' She looked out on the forest, her eyes wandering back in time. `I was so scared when I first sat up and stared out into these unknown trees. Now its like home…. it was home.' With a deep breath, she flung herself over the side of the well, vanishing into the darkness.

I tired so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

InuYasha pulled back from Kikyo's embrace, confusion darting through his eyes. “The other girl? Who are you talking about?”

Kikyo sighed and tenderly held a hand to her chest. The wound in her stomach was spreading, and would claim her life soon enough. She muttered through a pain-ridden voice, “me…what of your promise to me?”

InuYasha gave a small sigh as he tired to control his emotions. “Kikyo…I promised to go to hell with you when I thought I was responsible for your death. I pledged to find you peace. I still intend to help you find peace; I will not be with you though. I made a promise to protect Kagome and I intend to do so until…” he took a deep gulp, “until she dies. I will be with her until she dies. I love her Kikyo! You know this, I know you do. You're the one who taught me love; you're the one who called me out on being in love with her. Without you, I would never have realized how much I love her. Without her, I'm a primal animal…she is my humanity, she is my heart, my life…she is my soul.”

Kikyo stood on shaky legs, “InuYasha, was I not also yours?”

InuYasha stood with her, wrapping an arm under her shoulders, he helped her from the hut and walked her slowly through the fields. “You were, Kikyo, key word being were. You could never have loved me for who I was, though, and you admitted this yourself. You loved the thought of being in love with me, just like I did you. We learned together, we shared the same dreams together, but we were not meant to be together. I have chosen my path, Kikyo, and you have to accept it. I am going to be with Kagome until she dies, and then I will follow.”

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter.

Kikyo let out a gasp and slid to the ground, InuYasha slowly going with her. “My time is over, InuYasha. I am being pulled back to hell…my soul wants to return to its owner. If you are sure of your decision, then love her with all your heart InuYasha, make it mean something. Never let her go…not for a second. She is special, I have always known that. I see it in your eyes how much you love her, how much you long for her. Make sure you get her before it's to late.” She inhaled sharply then laid her head on the ground.

InuYasha stood above her, holding her hand while the girl he once believed he loved died. He closed his eyes saying a silent prayer as the girl's body crumbled slowly, returning to the earth from which it came from. InuYasha let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. `She let me go…. she gave me back my freedom.' He turned back to the village, the hardest of all tasks ahead of him. `I have to tell Kagome how I feel...I have to tell her that I am, have always been, and will always be in love with her.' he sniffed the air and froze. He sniffed again, his eyes growing wider. `Why can't I smell her in the area?

 

One thing I don't know why

it doesn't even matter how hard you try

Keep that in mind

I designed this rhyme

To remind myself how

I tried so hard.

InuYasha never ran so fast in his life. He skidded into the village as Sango and Miroku slowly approached the hut, hand in hand. He shook away the image, putting it aside to talk about later. “Where's Kagome?”

Miroku paused and looked at Sango who returned to glance. “She came back with us,” he started slowly, “but me and Sango had stuff we needed to talk about. Have you checked with Shippo? Maybe they are drawing.”

InuYasha turned on his heels, his mind starting to spin. `I can't smell her…did she go home? That stupid wench…' a sudden thought came to him that chilled his bones. `What if she saw Kikyo and me? If she did…' he let out a small scoff, `no, she would have heard me telling Kikyo that I'm in love with her…. that I don't care that way about Kikyo. Why would she run home?' he approached the pup and his heart stopped. Lying in the pup's lap was the Shikon Jewel. He bent down slowly and picked it off the sleeping cub. His eyes widened as he realized what she had done. Something that resembled knives tore at his heart. `She left me…she left the jewel and went home…that means…she doesn't intend on returning…'

Miroku approached cautiously from behind. “is that the nearly completed jewel?” with silence as his answer, he cautiously continued, “if that is here….” He let out a surprised gasp, “InuYasha…what were you doing with Kikyo?”

InuYasha turned, clenching the jewel in his hand. He stared at it like it was poison. “I told her that I was in love with Kagome…I told her I was moving on the be with Kagome. I laid her to rest down the hill…she's gone.”

Sango gasped and glared around the village, “did Kagome go home? If she left the jewel…” tears began to form in her eyes. “Why didn't she come see us? Why didn't she say goodbye? Why didn't she try harder to talk to us…. why didn't she say anything? Would Kagome really just take off like that? Would she really just leave like that? Its Kagome…. she would never….”

InuYasha turned from the two and ran. He ran for his life, he ran for her life…he ran for everything they had been through together. In mere seconds, he was at the well. “I'll be damned if she thinks she can just leave me here alone!” he needed her, whether or not she would ever realize it. Without her, he was nothing. He had always been in love with her, but something kept him from telling her…kept him from being with her. Whether it was Kikyo or his own fears of rejection, he had pushed her away. `Did I really do it this time? Did I really force her to leave me?' in a slide show of memories, he mentally watched the three years they had spent together. He saw all the arguments, all the fights…he saw all the times she looked at him with such a star-crossed gaze. He saw how much she loved him. `Did I ever show her how much I loved her? Did I ever even hint it?' he knew the answer. `I pushed her away…I laughed at her and called her names. I pushed her aside for Kikyo. If she didn't hear us and only saw…does she think I'm going with Kikyo to hell?' his face grew into a mask of fear. `She better not to anything stupid. She would be baka if she thinks….' He shook his head. `I love her way too much to leave her like that. She is so foolish to think otherwise.' with a grunt, he threw himself into the well.

 

In spite of the way you were mocking me,

Acting like I was part of your property.

Remembering all the times you fought with me

I'm surprised it got so far.

Kagome fell to her other side of the well, landing on her knees. `Damnit InuYasha…' fresh tears had made their way to her eyes as she stared into the stonewall. `Why does he always have to be such a baka?' standing, she slammed her hand into the wall, cutting herself on the stone. She ignored the stinging pain as she hit the wall again. `Why did he do it? What did he see in death that he could not have in life? Kikyo? Did he really love her that much? Why…why did he leave me? Why did he betray me?' she hit the wall again and again, somewhere losing feeing in her hands as she pounded her anger, her frustration, and her aching away in a bloody mess on the side of the well. Screaming at the top of her lungs, she slammed her fists into the walls, “Baka! Baka InuYasha! Baka, baka, baka! InuYasha no baka!” Closing her eyes, she made a plea to any entities that existed in her time…. anyone that would listen, `please, stop this pain…. make it go away! Close this damned well and keep it sealed! I can't…i can't see any of them again! He left me…he abandoned me!' she hit the wall again and suddenly pink light erupted around her, forming from inside of her body. It flashed through the well like an explosion, momentarily blinding Kagome. She fell to her knees, her hands hitting the ground and seeping blood into the soil. She tried to scream but could not find her voice. She felt a sudden burst of energy inside of her. Only once had she felt that before and she hardly could recall the incident. It was right after her soul had been partially returned to her from when that witch stole it from her to bring life to Kikyo. `Is this the rest of my soul? That means…' tears filled her eyes as she slowly climbed out of the well, leaving a trail of blood in her wake. Landing on the top, she closed her eyes and banged her skull against its wooden edges. `He's gone…he left me for her. She's dead as is he…' she sat there crying until no more tears would flow from her eyes…she sat there with blood on her hands that had long dried and the wounds healed. She sat there for days, not moving…dry heaving and attempting to cry for her lost love…for her lost life.

~&~

InuYasha jumped through the well and hit the bottom with a sickening thud. His knees buckled under him as soon as he realized he did not pass through. `What the fuck?' he stared up to the top of the well and blinked under the dim light of dusk. `Why didn't I pass?' he glared around the well then jumped out of it. His mind slowly began to panic against all reason. `Maybe it screwed up…maybe.' He jumped again, once again hitting the dirt of the bottom. `No…no this can't be.' his eyes widened in horror as he slowly began to claw at the dirt. “Where is it? Where is the time slip?” he began to dig faster and faster his mind churning in circles. “What did she do?” `No, I can't lose her! What is this shit? Why can't I get through? Did she…did she seal the well? Did she intentionally stop me from coming through?' a cry built up in the back of his mind as he opened his mouth and howled, “KAGOME!” dropping onto his forearms, he laid his head on the dirt. `Why would she abandon me? What did I do? Why…. how could she? After all this shit, she just left. She left me.' he began pounding on the dirt, his fists sinking through the muck, `no, not like this! She can't just seal up the well and leave me! I have to wake up; this has to be a fucking nightmare! She can't have left me! I need her with me, I can't live without her!' tears began to stream down his cheeks as he stood up. `it has to be a mistake. Maybe I can't make the jump while I'm holding the jewel.'

He jumped to the top of the well and threw it to the side, then attempted the jump again. Over and over, he tried to jump through the well. Soon, the skin was peeling from his hands filthy with blood and dirt, his horari was covered in the vile mixture, his pants were ripped, his knees bloodied from hitting the bottom. He continued jumping, over and over. He climbed to the top and jumped to the bottom, landing on his face. He would let out a sob then do it again. Finally, he landed his last jump with a solid thud and he just laid there, his once so bright and beautiful golden eyes now so dull and lifeless. `She left me…she shut me out of her world. She abandoned me. She never loved me…. she felt obligated to help. She walked away from it all!' he reared back and screamed at the top of his lungs. Closing his eyes, he blinked away the tears that stained his face that burned his soul. He had given up everything for her. he broke promises for her, and she just left him. As those once so beautiful orbs opened, crimson overtook the gold in a fury that no one would ever tame.

 

Things aren't the way they were before

You wouldn't even recognize me anymore

Kagome stood slowly, on very weary legs. Somehow she managed to walk forward, toddling like an infant who just learned to walk, and made her way to her house. She walked blindly, tripping over roots and stones. All she saw was blackness. `i'm alone…I gave up my family here and my family there. I gave up my friends, my companions, my love…its all gone. What's the point? Where is the knight in shining armor?' she pushed open the door to her house and stumbled in. somehow she managed to read a note on the kitchen table. `Kagome, gone for week to Kyoto. Hope things are well in feudal era. Love mom.' She crumpled up the note in her hand as she trudged through the empty house. `this is the rest of my life…I'm a ghost walking. No one remembers me….no one cares….my own mother acts as if I live a thousand miles away. I guess in a sense I have been…it must hurt her so much not to see me. I can't hurt her….i can't hurt myself anymore…'

Not that you knew me back then

But it all comes back to me

In the end

She walked into the downstairs bathroom that her grandfather used. She opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out an orange pharmacy container. Her foggy eyes read the description on the bottle. `Pain relievers…. that is what I need. I need something to numb this pain. It hurts so badly….' she felt fresh tears stream her face as she closed the cabinet and opened the bottle. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she gasped. Her hair was so straggly, so dirty. Her eyes were bloodshot to a scary extent. Her skin under her eyes and cheeks was raw and cracked. She was filthy and her face had a thin coat of blood over it. She shook her head and grabbed the bottle of pills and opened it. Grabbing a handful of the dangerous drugs, she tossed them into her mouth and stuck her mouth then under the faucet of the sink. `This has to numb the pain…it has to do something.' She swallowed hard, sputtering on some of the pills but finishing the mouthful. She turned slowly and made her way out of the bathroom and back into the kitchen, absently grabbing a knife on her way back out. `I will not let him die alone with that wench.'

You kept everything inside

And even though I tried

It all fell apart

What it meant to me

Will eventually be

A memory of a time

Kagome walked in a very trance like state, not paying attention to anything around her. if she was dead to the world, then the world was dead to her. She walked back into the well house and tripped down the steps. She sat on the edge of the well, her hands shaking profusely. Somewhere from outside she thought she heard her name being called. `No one remembers me…why would someone call out to a ghost?' she blinked away the fresh tears and brought the knife in her left hand to her right wrist. `If I can't live with him…then I don't want to live at all. There's no point anymore, none what so ever. I lost my family back in the feudal era…I lost my love…I lost my family here, they don't know me anymore…I lost my friends here…I have nothing, I am nothing…I'm a shell of a girl who gave up her life for the betterment of man kind….for the salvation of the rest.' She sliced through the skin in a vertical line, cutting open the artery in her arm. She screamed in pain as the blood sudden began to gush from her arm. She dropped the knife and fell backwards into the well, landing in a crumpled form on the bottom.

 

I tried so hard and got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

InuYasha glared about the bottom of the well, his crimson eyes sparkling in hatred and betrayal. He leapt from the well abandoning all he knew, all he cared about. He shed the sword that meant the world to him; he threw off his harori that saved his life countless times. He ran through the woods, his demon looking for something, anything to kill. His eyes focused on a village up ahead that once seemed so familiar…so welcoming. He bared his claws and fangs as he approached, his eyes settling on a group of villagers that were tending to their crops. With two slices of his hands, four men laid dead in a heap, their bodies strung about the field. He heard screams, heard shouts of people a part of him thought he knew. He rushed towards another form of a woman, a woman who looked so much like the bitch who did this to him. He aimed for her head.

 

I put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

For all this

There's only one thing you should know

Kagome rolled over on the bottom of the well, glaring up at the roof of the shrine. Her eyes glazed over in pain and anguish as she blinked. She could feel her life sliding away but it didn't matter. She saw her love…. she saw InuYasha sitting in the Goshinkibu, she saw him smiling at her and waving. She felt his arms around her knees as she rode on his back. She smelt his hair as it whipped about her face. She felt the warmth of his arms, the safety it instilled on her. A small smile crept to her lips. `You will not die alone.' she heard a scream but it was drown out by the sound of her heartbeat in her ears. It was to late to be saved, her soul had died with her love.` Is this what Kikyo has felt all these years; so empty and dead? It doesn't matter…it will be done soon.'

I put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

For all this

There's only one thing you should know

InuYasha swung at Sango yet missed as Miroku shoved her out of the way. The two stared horrified as their friend ripped through the people of the village, slaughtering those who he had protected for so long. InuYasha turned again, his eyes set on Sango and Miroku. He pointed a bloody claw at them then began to run in their direction. He raised his claw before a blur of white moved in front of them. He couldn't tell what exactly happened but he felt a sharp pain in his chest that stopped him in the middle of his track. His eyes fell upon the golden hilt of a sword sticking through his chest. Blood seeped from the corner of his mouth as he slowly gazed in front of him. His eyes traveled up the white clothed body until his eyes fell upon the face of his brother. Sesshoumaru seemed so shocked, his eyes wide as he glared at his brother and the fact that tokijyn was embedded in his body. Falling backwards, InuYasha crumpled on the floor. His eyes lost the crimson stain and returned to a very dead gold. “K…Kagome…” He heard his name being screamed from behind him but it didn't matter. She was gone…his Kagome was gone. Closing his eyes, he slowly gave up on life.

I tired so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

Kagome blinked once, her life sliding through her fingertips. Somewhere above her, red and white lights flashed on the walls of the shrine and she closed her eyes again. `they are to late…I'm already dead.' She closed her eyes and stopped breathing.

I had to fall to lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

InuYasha felt someone wrap an arm under his shoulders and lift him to his feet and drag him slowly away from the scene of his rampage. He couldn't fight, he couldn't move. He had been impaled worse then this a hundred times over the past three years…but this time…it was different. There was no screaming echo's of the girl he couldn't leave…there were no comforting tears to fall on his cheeks from the love of his life, there was no one to check if he was okay. There was no one to care, no one to fight for…no reason to live. He felt his life force flickering back and forth and could feel his heart beat decreasing. `Its to late to save me…my soul is gone… my Kagome is gone….'

Thump, thump…..thump……thump……………&# 8230;…………………..

 

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-Its dark, it's dark, keep reading, I promise it gets better….(just read the next chapter. Come on, you know you want to.)