InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ My Hatred, My Obsession ❯ The Green Chambers ( Chapter 13 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

My Hatred, My Obsession
Chapter 13 - The Green Chambers


“Do you feel guilty?”

“I promised her so much, but I haven't done anything at all. I couldn't protect her--.”

“And what of your promise to me, Inuyasha?”

He shouldn't have been surprised to hear those words from her. She was as unforgiving in death as she had been in life. Her hold on him was firm and she knew it, but he had to wonder how long he could continue feeling miserable about it. He still held the same responsibility for her death, and the same duty to avenge her, but as time passed, things changed.

He changed.

If it is my destiny to die and go to hell with Kikyo, then I will embrace my fate gladly and without a second thought.

Those had been his words - impassioned and angry. He had spoken them in haste, and now regretted them. Over the years, life had come to mean much more to him that simply a quest for self-definition. His priorities had undergone a shocking metamorphosis - creating a world in which he had people that he cared for more than getting the Jewel. A picture of Kagome flashed in his mind before he heard Kikyo speaking again.

“Did you forget so easily, Inuyasha?”

She spoke the words in a blood-freezing tone, and he had to admit that it was something he would never get used to. She was so different from Kagome. Her face radiated melancholy sadness, loneliness, and hatred for the entire world around her, whereas Kagome always had a ready smile. She was more beautiful than the girl from the future, though, in grace and poise - key characteristics in a miko. Her scent, however, left many things to be desired. She smelled of earth and clay. It wasn't unpleasant, but Kagome's scent of flowers and sandalwood soap was much easier on the nose.

“No, I didn't.”

“You promised to protect me. Did you lie?”

No…but I made a mistake…

Kikyo had been his first in everything: in love, in sex, and pain, and in hate. Yet she had been his first in everything but trust. It was Kagome that taught him to see the good in humanity; Kagome that showed him that he wasn't alone; and Kagome that had sworn to always be by his side. With her, he had once again found a reason for living other than vengeance, and with every passing season, she became more and more rooted into that reason. She had come to mean so much to him, and he suspected that he himself couldn't fathom her importance. But when he looked at Kikyo, he couldn't say that he loved her any more. There was never any sort of trust in their bond.

There was only silence between them now, no matter how much they spoke. The brief connection that they'd shared so long ago was gone, snapped in two by the hands of Naraku. The two beings could never understand each other, if they ever had at all. How could Kikyo ever understand the feelings of a hanyou - shunned by two worlds and cursed to drift between then? And how could Inuyasha ever understand the terror of being alive yet dead - existing but not existing; living but not living?

His eyes softened as she floated down to him. A pale hand cupped his cheek, but he did not return the touch. For the first time since she had returned to this world, he saw her eyes fill with tenderness. His heart skipped a beat, but still his hands stayed by his sides. Her eyes reminded him of Kagome's now, and he felt turned off. It was wrong for her to try to impersonate the girl. Immediately, an unreasonable flash of possessiveness took hold in him, and he pricked his ears back.

“This is what you like about her, right Inuyasha? I wonder…if I smiled and cried for you, would you be as loyal to me as you are to her?” Everything suddenly felt askew. With a rush of anger, he tore her hand away from his face.

“You could never be like her, Kikyo. Just like she could never be like you.” For an instant, he thought he saw hurt glowing in her eyes, but it was gone by the time he tried to look closer. He turned away from her, remembering the reason that he'd been walking here in the first place.

“You are looking for her.”

“And what if I am?”

“You won't find her.” Before he could ask her what she meant, the miko had already disappeared. He reached out a slack hand, a feeling of emptiness filling his abdomen. Would it always be this way?

Would she always continue to exist but not exist?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOO OO


The Green Chambers were in chaos.

The negotiations between the Four Kingdoms were breaking down. Even though alliances kept them civil, the tension between the Lords could be cleaved by a knife. Sesshoumaru felt irritated. Why had he even bothered to try and come to any sort of agreement with these idiots? The Western Lands had always been independent - free of obligation and free of the dangers of assistance. His father had never stooped so low as to ask for aid from other Lands, and he would do the same. No matter how things went here, the Western Lands must have power over all.

“My Lord Sesshoumaru…” he felt disgust at hearing his name uttered by Taminara, Lord of the Southern Lands. “If it is not too much to ask, I would like to propose a suggestion.” He waved his hand in a weary gesture of agreement and Taminara stood up.

Taminara - his rival and most hated demon in all of Japan since childhood. No…calling him a rival would be demeaning. Sesshoumaru had always been superior and he knew it; yet Taminara had refused to quit giving chase. He was never far behind: not in military strength, in resources, or in political influence. As he looked around the room, he once again went through his mental list of names and titles. He hadn't seen many of these youkai in hundreds of years, but he was quick to admit that he felt none of the elation that usually came with reunions.

I would rather deal with this on my own, but these men can give me useful information. If I was not allied with Kiba, then I would not have even cared about their problems.

Then again…it hadn't been his choice to ally himself with the troublesome Lord of the Northern Lands. His father had made that decision, and it was too much of a risk to try to break the tenacious alliance. Taminara was speaking, but shouts and bickering were drowning him out; Sesshoumaru thought with relief that no alliance had ever been formed between the South and the West. The object of his thoughts slammed his hand down upon the oak table and another flash of irritation bloomed in the Inu Youkai's chest. Not only was he wasting his time, but he was also damaging his furniture.

“Look at yourselves! We have no time for arguing! All we need is a solution. We need unity, and I can provide that!” He seemed to realize that he was acting inappropriately and cleared his throat, setting his face once again into a calm mask. His speech was continued in a much more civil tone of voice. “Nearly all of the key villages in my lands have been decimated. It is confirmed that the enemy is indeed invisible and cannot be stopped by ordinary means. I propose the use of a spiritual entity, such as a priest, to aid us in eliminating the threat.”

The uproar caused by outrage at such a ridiculous idea was even more deafening than before. Taminara had always been a fool, but even in his present, seemingly moronic thinking, Sesshoumaru found inspiration. Raising a hand for silence, he was pleased when the room immediately obeyed.

“What reason would you give for such a proposition?” He felt repulsed at the savage grin that crossed Taminara's face. “This Sesshoumaru understands the significance of your words. The Southern Lands banned the presence of priests centuries ago, did they not?” The huge youkai leaned against the table, using both of his arms as support. He looked the Western Lord right in the eye - as if he knew that his next words would mean more to him than anyone else in the room.

“What I seek is a miko, Sesshoumaru-sama. Several corpses of priesteses have been found near the destroyed villages, and This Taminara believes that a miko may have the ability to see these creatures.” He paused, letting the impact of his words sink in, “or we could use a miko as bait to lure them here.”

Sesshoumaru, look out!

They have Jewel Shards…I think…I'm not sure…but it seems that their bodies are not real…

From the front! Up above! From the left!


It was strange how the solution became to clear so quickly. All too soon, everyone was agreeing and praising Taminara, the problem shrinking in size. Sesshoumaru, on the other hand, felt disagreement. He stood, deciding that now was the time to press his point. Everyone once again ceased their talking, seeing as the Great Lord of the Western Lands was the most feared, and the one most unlikely to forgive any sort of disrespect.

“Although both solutions would seem adequate, there is something that This Sesshoumaru wishes to test. It is late. The Council will meet again tomorrow. That is all.” Murmurs followed his statement: agreement mostly for none dared to question his words. Chairs rattled and scraped across the floor, and papers were shuffled and put away as the Council members stood and gathered their things. The Four Lords walked to each other to bow in respect - as was the custom.

Kiba bowed first, but walked to Sesshoumaru, tapping him gently on the shoulder. He found it annoying, but tried to keep in mind that Kiba had always been blunt. He felt the Lord's breath brushing past his ear. The words were obviously meant to only reach him -

“What do you plan to do with the woman?” Anger swelled inside of him. How did Kiba know about Kagome? He recognized that she was in danger if the Council found out that she was a miko. Even he, the greatest leader of the New Alliance, could not overturn a majority within the Council. And it wasn't as if he would try - he would risk losing his strong reputation as a powerful ruler, and things could turn chaotic.

“Your words hold no meaning to This Sesshoumaru. Speak more clearly.” The Lord chuckled.

“I think that that would only serve to your disadvantage.” He felt a murderous desire to spill the demon's blood right there, but reigned it in effectively. Instead, he brushed past him, his face empty as usual.

“Do not presume to have any sort of leverage, Kiba.” The Four Lords met in the center of the now empty Green Chambers and bowed, Sesshoumaru refusing to do more than incline his head. Kiba smiled, looking very much like the fox whose blood ran in his veins.

“Taminara, I praise you on your genius.” Taminara grinned.

“Why thank you, Kiba.” The fox waved his hand in dismissal. The Eastern Lord remained silent, however through the entire conversation. He had his arms crossed, his head down and his eyes closed as if he was bored.

“I have just one question, Taminara. Where are you going to dig up a priestess?” When he looked up, his eyes were molten coals of anger. Sesshoumaru felt curious as to just what was arousing his ire. Taminara laughed and patted the Eastern Lord on the back. The latter didn't look pleased in the least.

“There must one around here somewhere,” pressed Kiba. “I'm sure that finding one will be much easier than you think.” His eyes never left Sesshoumaru's face. Sesshoumaru carefully kept his face blank. He walked forward as the door to the Green Chambers opened, but paused just alongside the fox.

“The Alliance is weakening these days, Kiba. It would be difficult to fight alone in these dark times.” His eyes were focused on the door, just as Kiba's were focused on the room behind Sesshoumaru.

“You see, Sesshomaru, the trouble with Alliances is that they break too easily.”

“Loyalty is what keeps them together, Kiba. Your father should know about that.” There was an uncomfortable pause in which Kiba's eyes widened momentarily. But he quickly came back to the exchange. “How is he fairing? I've had news that he was gravely ill.”

“He will be well.”

“Illness is a dangerous thing, Kiba. You never know when it will strike.” The growl that escaped from Kiba's throat was quiet enough to only reach the two of them. But the ferocity in it was no less strong.

“A little illness is something that can be taken care of easily. And I won't need any sort of Alliance to fight it. Do not presume to underestimate me, Sesshoumaru.”

“I have no intention of doing so. After all, it is only thanks to our fathers that peace has been forged between us. It would be a shame for such a symbol of achievement to pass on.” Before Kiba could come up with a rational response, Sesshoumaru carefully sidestepped and walked the rest of the way out the door.

OOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOO


As he walked by her door towards his chambers, he fought with himself. When he'd left her, she was sleeping. His feet led him to the entrance before he could stop himself. For a long time, he simply stood there, not daring to touch the wood. He had acted foolishly, putting her at such a risk by leaving at the mercy of his Head Samurai. He knew that Niran was proud, and she had obviously insulted him with her fiery stubbornness. Yet he couldn't admit to feeling regret.

This Sesshoumaru regrets nothing.

But there were even now pictures of her running through his mind.

Sesshoumaru you jackass!

It's youkai…I wish I had my arrows…

Don't come any nearer, Sesshoumaru!

Can you sense them too?

You just have a knack for rubbing me the wrong way.


Yes…her brave, fiery stubbornness that didn't let him forget about her. He remembered her passion when she fought him while being possessed. Had it been her anger? Or had it been forced? The questions still nagged at him, and he wanted answers. Taminara's words raced through him, Kiba's threat following close behind -

What I'm looking for is a miko, Sesshoumaru-sama…

Maybe we could use a miko as bait to lure them here…

I'm sure that there's one around here somewhere…it might be easier to find one than you think…


So…Kiba knew about her. The question was how did he know. The servants were too cowardly to betray any such information, and other than Rin and himself, no one knew of her presence here. Niran and Digar were not in any sort of position to talk about her, and they themselves had no idea that she was a miko. Who, then, had divulged such crucial information to Kiba? Somehow…he couldn't help feeling as if this was all one conspiracy against him: first the demons, and now this.

What will you do with the woman?

Hell…he didn't know the answer to that. If his suspicions were correct, it wouldn't be long before Taminara found out about Kagome's true nature. He remembered his desire to keep her from harm that night when she'd collapsed and felt at a loss. No…he was above that. There was always a solution, and one human woman couldn't change that. A picture of her enraged face and glowing eyes appeared once again.

Maybe we could a miko as bait to lure the creatures here…

What I'm looking for is a miko, Sesshoumaru-sama…

What do you plan to do with the woman?


His hand touched the door - a tentative and reluctant bit of contact.

What will you do?

His eyes narrowed and he walked into the room.

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Sorry for the long wait, guys. Between coming home from Russia and unpacking, I haven't had much time to work on this. I hope it turned out alright. The next chapter should be easier to write.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Raven91