InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ My Hatred, My Obsession ❯ Stepping Into Conflict ( Chapter 12 )

My Hatred, My Obsession
Chapter 12 - Stepping into Conflict

She would remember how difficult it was to wake up that day. She felt groggy - sluggish and slow - as if her body was caked in molasses that was thick and viscous. Her vision was blurry, the filtering sunlight offending as it always was to the eyes that did not wish to open. She tried drifting back into a paradise away from burdening reality, but it was as if her mind no longer wished to run away.

Face the world, Kagome…stop being such a coward…

Her throat was parched; her tongue feeling like it was swollen. How long had she been asleep? It felt as though she hadn't been awake in centuries - as if she was a cursed princess fated to slumber in a dark and gloomy castle until the world's end. But as her eyes failed to find the prince that had awakened her, she realized that she wasn't in a place she knew.

The warm and soothing tendrils of blissful unawareness were torn from her like stolen goods from an innocent citizen. Wooden paneling met her eyes - a large room with no decorations or any sort of life at all. She sat up, rubbing her eyes as if her lenses could not focus in on what was going on. She was lying on the floor on what she recognized as a traditional futon. A soreness in her neck told her that no pillow was provided for her comfort. A single, huge, hexagonal window - the same culprit who let in the traitorous light - allowed a cool breeze to urge her hair into movement. Feeling a chill, her arms came up to smooth away instinctive goose bumps and met a material so soft that it would make silk feel envy.

She really should have felt afraid - at least a little apprehensive about suddenly waking up in a foreign place and wearing clothes she didn't recognize. She probably shouldn't have burned to explore her environment either, but as the reader may already know, Kagome did not always think twice before doing things.

As said before, the room was completely bare. It was large and grand, but it felt lonely and empty, as if something should have been there but wasn't. There was a pretty set of bamboo shutters on the window, held up by a thick golden rope topped on the end with a fuzzy tassel. Behind her, an ominous fire-place in the shape of a growling wooden dragon stared down at anyone who dared come near.

That was when Kagome realized that she had been wrong with her first impression. The decorations were subtle - to the painful point of being nearly invisible - but they were tactful. The four corners of the room were carved into column-like half-cylinders with vines and leaves burned into their surfaces. Those columns grew up and branched off at the top of the ceiling into box-like structures that lowered down below the actual top of ceiling like steps. She wondered at such a sight.

Walking to the window, she was amazed to see a misty scene of rocks and varied greenery. Her mind made a connection - a hot spring. Padding over to the door across from her, she noted that the center of the room floor was decorated with a lighter wood than the edges, each piece meticulously matched and carefully installed. Her hand touched the handle, her fingers ready to slide open the light, rice-paper structure, but something went wrong. There was pain - horrible pain shooting up her arm - and dimly, Kagome realized that there was a barrier preventing her from leaving. She yelped and stumbled back, nursing her injured hand.

What the hell?

Her calm, curious emotions quickly morphed into a massive panic. Of course there was a barrier! It's not as if she was sleeping over at a friend's house! She had been captured!

Great observation, Einstein!

She wanted to smack herself with the enlightenment.

Why didn't I realize it before? What if Naraku took me? Or what if it was that thing that tried controlling me?

But no…I swear I hit it when my powers went out of control…

Memories were once again assailing her. Sleep proved to be a wonderful time to forget things, she thought ruefully.

I remember getting really mad, and even fighting Inuyasha! Did I hurt him? No…no…I would have known if I did…I was close though. I remember something hurting…and then someone…oh, Kami!

She felt her blood freeze.

Sesshoumaru!

She was suddenly more afraid than she had ever been. Sure, she had been terrified many times, but there was nothing so wicked as the terrible imaginings as those that were running through Kagome's mind right now.

Oh, Kami!

Frightening scenes of rape and torture were surfacing, and she flew to her feet, her eyes wildly searching the room for any possible exit. Stars exploded in her vision - a colorful myriad of marching dots and fireworks that made her head feel like it was stuck in a ringing metal pot. She dug her fingers into her hair, pulling and tugging in a futile hope to ease the drastic pulsing.

She hissed out a breath of pain when her arm joined her head in the Fourth of July parade. Sparing it a look, she saw bandages covering it all the way up to her elbow. She tried leaning against the wall for support, but quickly understood that this would be impossible as well. Her back felt like a raw, freshly-skinned potato. Reaching her uninjured arm back to feel the cause, her fingers connected with the same gauze that enveloped her arm.

I don't think I ever remember needing a mirror as much as I do now…

She threw a death glare at the door.

No way am I gonna just sit here and wait for him to come find me.

Closing her eyes to concentrate her attention away from the pain, she tried to gather her spiritual powers together like she had done while being controlled. Despite the voice telling her what to do, she knew that she had done it on her own somehow. There had to be a way. Her life depended on it.

Concentrate…just concentrate and you can do it…

There was nothing. Her brain was completely empty - as it always was when it came to her powers. Damn it all! She was so angry, that she momentarily forgot how painful it was to touch the barrier and punched the door. The offended object gave a shudder and, as if by command, slid open.

In the wake of things, she just stared dumbly at the sudden opening in the walls of her “prison”, her brain failing to catch up to the unexpected turn of events. Where did the barrier go? There was no way that she had opened the door on her own! She was the most incompetent miko in all of Japan!

“Uhh…”

She took a cautious step forward, fearing that the magical barrier was playing some kind of trick on her. When she didn't feel her body being jolted with thousands of volts of immense power, she continued through the doorway until she was out in the hall. Her heart was pounding as she noticed that it seemed that the “empty and eerie” theme continued on here, too. The wall of the narrow corridor was tiled with sandy brown wood, each piece perfect to the last highlight. There was a door across from hers, too, although it was obviously more decorated.

“Wow…”

All sorts of dragons and golden-pink cranes perched on the obviously thick blood-red door. The walls that surrounded it were also full of relief sculptures, lined up in squares (an animal in each), sporting the same crane and dragon design. There was kanji burned in beautiful form above and below the squares of the animals - some of which she couldn't make out. Kagome couldn't help it. She needed to get closer.

It took only several steps to bring her close enough to touch the door. Long and slender fingers followed patterns of magical clouds where beautiful monsters ruled. It told of magic fairytales and fantasies that soothed and calmed her apprehensions. Somehow, she didn't believe that anything evil could own such beauty. She had to stifle a giggle when a picture of Naraku playing with unicorns and “My Little Pony” dolls came into her head.

“I wonder what's behind this door.”

She reached for the handle, started twisting, and began pushing when -

“You made it through the barrier.” She gasped, the cold and lifeless words sending alarm bells into a frenzy in her mind and body. In her haste, she turned too quickly and stepped backwards digging the sculptures into her injured back. She flinched; he didn't seem to care.

“Se…Sesshoumaru! I! I wasn't…I'm sorry…that is…”

Out of all people and out of all villains that could have taken me captive, it has to be him! Damn it!

Oh…so you would rather have had Naraku catch you?

No…

The Taiyoukai towered over her, a stern look on his stony face. She could imagine him saying “Tell my why I shouldn't kill you right where you stand?”

“I…I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru!”

I still don't get why you are apologizing…he's the one who should be sorry…

Do you want him to kill me?

No…

I rest my case.

“Then again…perhaps the barrier simply wasn't strong enough. It isn't as if you could have possibly removed it with your severely lacking abilities.” His eyes were boring into her, yet it felt like he was dismissing her like he always did. She bristled, all fear nearly forgotten.

Crap! I barely spend five minutes with this guy, and already he's getting a rise out of me!

“You just have a knack for rubbing me the wrong way, Sesshoumaru.”

“Oh?” Those two letters set her on fire with annoyance. She hated it when he made a question sound like a statement. It was almost like he thought he knew everything, and that everything should bow down to him.

“Last time I checked, Your Mightiness, you left me to die out in the wilderness.” She saw the arrogance leaking from him.

“I do not recall ever taking responsibility for your welfare.” She really didn't know how to answer him on that. It was true. She had to admit that he hadn't ever said that he would protect her.

He's not Inuyasha, Kagome…

“Well…you could have at least pointed me in the right direction. It's not as if it would have killed you.” He raised an eyebrow and she knew that he was in a you-are-beneath-me mood.

“I did not allow you to lend me your services - however useless they were - in order to entertain you and quench your pathetic thirst for company. No, woman, it would not have killed this Sesshoumaru, but I can assure you that I would never stoop so low as lending you my aid.” Tears were threatening to spill over, but she rejected the childish urge to swipe her arm across her face to wipe them away. Something flashed in his eyes - something that she thought to be contentment that he had once again trounced her thoroughly.

“Then why did you bring me here? Even after I hurt you. Why did you - ”

“I did not bring you here for your well being or for your enjoyment. I have questions that need answers, and you will give them to me,” he paused, “Kagome.” He had to force himself to say her name. The smell of her tears was sickening, and he remembered that she was more receptive when he addressed her thus.

But perhaps he was wrong.

“I won't do anything I don't want to, Sesshoumaru.” If he had been mildly annoyed with her, then he was furious now. How did she always get him so riled up about such trivial matters? He backed her up further into the wall, knowing that the door was causing her pain. He watched her obvious discomfort with satisfaction. She was backing down, but he saw that her anger was not fading.

“You will know your place here, woman. If you wish to live, you will be obedient.” She gasped, and he saw her eyes widen. Was she remembering something?

So obedient…so complacent…you did well, my miko…

Kill him…kill them all…

Aren't you angry, miko? Show him how much he hurt you…

There was a sickening laughter ringing in her ears. It felt like she couldn't get enough air. Her lungs were collapsing, her breathing shortening. A rubber band was being tightened around her chest, and she instantly recognized that sensation as sheer terror. She looked up at Sesshoumaru with wild eyes that spoke of a loss of rationale. With an inarticulate cry, she put her hands up in front of her and pushed.

“No! I won't listen to you!!” She coughed and choked on unexpected smoke and saw with shock that she had blown a hole in the wall across from her. Her hands still burned with the same power that that thing had made her use, and she felt herself beginning to shake with a paranoia she was sure would stay with her for a long while. It took her a second to realize that he had easily avoided the blow.

“Now, woman, you will explain what just happened. What was it that you saw?” She didn't answer him, simply staring emptily at her steaming palms. He pressed harder. “Tell me now, woman; I do not have time for dallying.” She looked up at him, her shadowed eyes looking haunted.

“Why did you bring me here?” Stupid creature…hadn't he already told her the answer to that? “Really, though…why?” He weighed the silence carefully, not sure whether he wanted to tip over the perfect balance of the neutrality that was their relationship. Yet, what did he have to lose? The only reason she was here was the possibility that she held valuable data in that pathetic human brain of hers. But her eyes told him that she was looking for the deeper reason. It disturbed him to think that she could assume that one existed.

She must have remembered something, her face suddenly lighting up in thought. He waited for her to share, knowing that it would be shameful to show any sort of curiosity.

“Inuyasha…is he alright?” He suppressed a frown. Didn't this woman ever think of anything but that flea-bitten mutt?

“He will live.”

Like any other pitiful bug that survives no matter how many times it's stepped on.

He heard her sigh in relief.

“But then…how did you -”

“It is not as if he could have done anything to stop this Sesshoumaru.” And with a pang, she realized just how right he was. Inuyasha couldn't have stopped him, especially if Sesshoumaru was determined to achieve his goal. Yet if that was the case, why wasn't he being more forceful?

That stray thought brought about memories she wished were buried. Her cheeks burned for a moment when she recalled the kiss he'd forced on her. His lips had been so demanding, so fiery, that she had felt overwhelmed. Her own reaction had been unexpected and unwelcome, one that made her see herself in a different light. Was she so cheap, then, that she would respond to anyone? But somewhere in the back her mind, a thought had coerced her into giving in. Would Inuyasha ever kiss her like that? Could Inuyasha ever be passionate for her?

She still didn't understand why he had kissed her out of the blue. At first, she had assumed that he had done it to hurt her pride and to show her how weak she was. But she couldn't believe that he would do something so drastic just to prove something that she already knew. Her mind, though, could not dream up any other reason for his bizarre behavior. Perhaps he had tried to remind her of her place, of how easily he could finish what he started back in the forest that dark night. That too, however, didn't sound like a plausible theory.

She felt dizzy, the pain in her back slowly dulling until her entire body felt numb from head to toe. Her eyes took in the hole in the wall across from her, and she was jerked back to the first time she had seen Sesshoumaru's loneliness. This house felt just as empty, just as cold as he was. He had brought her here, had - even if not by his hand or in the best of intentions - taken care of her injuries, and she had repaid him by behaving like a hot-headed child. She felt silly, like a little girl doomed to stand shamefully in a corner as a bad example for the entire class. She made eye contact with him again, feeling a driving need to apologize.

“I…” For an unexplainable reason, her cheeks burned when she realized he had been watching her this entire time. “I will answer your questions…” It was getting harder and harder to concentrate. “Just promise that you will let me go.” Her gaze was dead serious, and his was no less dramatic.

“I am under no obligation to promise you anything. I did not offer you a trade for your information. You will answer me, with or without any sort of pledge from my person.” But why couldn't they just compromise? Didn't he understand the meaning of the word? She was getting too tired to keep fighting with him, but how would she ever get back to Inuyasha if he didn't promise her a chance for freedom?

“Please, Sesshoumaru.” She was weakening, he realized. Even now, her movements were uncoordinated, her eyes glossy and her speech slurred. He understood why. His poison still hadn't left her system. In any case, though, he was concerned that she would die before she could properly answer him. Damn the woman! How much more havoc would she wreak upon his life? He remembered her dubbing him inconsiderate and admitted that he was being too lenient on her. Why couldn't he just hit her? Why couldn't he simply dig his claws into her throat and force her to submit to his authority? She was no ally to him; she meant nothing but a means to an end. But there was something strong and inexplicably powerful and tangible around her that made him lower his hand and retract his deadly nails.

She was too much like her; too much like the child that had been called his “charge”. The woman had even saved her life on several occasions, and he supposed that that was the reason he was so lenient. Then there was the other reason; a cause that he was certain was even now producing an effect. Her pleading eyes reminded him of the intimacy that still haunted their “acquaintance”. Her lips, her touch, her unfamiliar warmth. He recalled thinking that his solitude within the quickly passing centuries had caused him to momentarily lose his control.

Yet…was that really why?

He was a male; a healthy male that should not feel shame in wanting bodily release. A mate was something that he needed least, but a concubine was something every strong ruler owned. Even now - for the sake of pure appearance - at least a dozen of females bearing that status roamed about his home. Yet he did not bathe with them like was the custom; he did not touch them or even look their way. Sex was something he did not have time for, and felt no urge for until he had touched this woman. It was a base desire in his eyes, but something that held fast within his mind.

“You continue to struggle, human. This Sesshoumaru does not understand the reasons of your behaving as such.” He thought it a neutral and appropriate statement that would turn the conversation in his favor. “Until you have exhausted your usefulness, you will not leave here.” There was brewing conflict in her eyes, and he felt smug that he could put her out so easily. She opened her mouth to argue, but was silenced immediately.

“Your incompetence will cost you.” She looked frantic for a moment. He snapped his fingers. A short and fat youkai was sprawled behind him in seconds.

“Please allow this humble servant to attend you, My Lord.”

“Bring Niran.” He heard him scramble to his feet and scamper away and felt satisfied to feel the warmth of the scepter of authority in his hands. He looked back at the woman.

“You will restore the walls to their original state, and you will do so without argument.” He heard Niran's footsteps a minute before he felt his aura fill the room.

“My Lord has honored me by calling me to duty. How may this Niran be of service?” His attention now focused on his servant, Sesshoumaru turned away from the miko.

“You will supervise this woman while she rebuilds the wall. She goes nowhere and does not rest until all reparations are complete.” Perhaps he just wanted to strike out at her for making him feel like a fool, or perhaps he simply wanted to squash her into compliance, but for whatever reason, he felt certain that it was pleasure that coursed through his veins to know that he had power over her after all.

(………a…………)
( 230;……..a………..)

Niran had been shocked to hear that Sesshoumaru demanded his presence. It had been over one hundred years since he had seen the face of the Great Lord of the Western Lands. He was the head samurai - the most trusted advisor of the Great Inu-Taisho - yet he was only called when the Lands were in risk of war. Sesshoumaru was not one to ask for any sort of aide in anything, so when a fat servant had rushed into his home, Niran was worried.

The last thing he expected was to see a miniature little woman wavering on her feet - bandages from head to toe - in front of the Great Sesshoumaru. She was a scrawny little thing, pitiful and shivering. He was not surprised; his Lord had that effect on every living thing. Even he, Niran, felt intimidated by the power of his spiritual force.

He gave the proper greeting and asked the proper question, but the answer he was given didn't seem proper at all. Watch over the human woman? Despite the strength of his loyalty, Niran felt that such a task was beneath his station.

“After she is finished, you will report to the Green Chambers. That is all.” His Lord's steps were quick and efficient and before Niran could even fully understand what had happened, he was gone. He reached out a hand through the air as if to stop his progress but knew that such a thing was impossible.

At least I can be satisfied that this was not all he wanted of me.

The Green Chambers were reserved for military and strategic planning. His claws raked through his thick, black mane in thought. He had heard rumors of the rampaging rebel group that was destroying key villages in the Lands. He also knew that they were called unstoppable.

I am concerned, though. Sesshoumaru is not one who would consider anything to be unstoppable. Is the enemy really so strong?

He jerked when he heard movement behind him. How could he have forgotten the woman? He whirled on the balls of his feet to face her, but was shocked to find that she had straightened her back and looked him fully in the eye. How dare she? Did she not know who she was looking at? She scowled.

“Oh no you don't…don't tell me you're as `high-and-mighty' as that prick.” Never in his entire life span had Niran heard a woman speak in such a tone, and never in that same period of time had he heard a female use such language. Why was she not dead? Why hadn't Sesshoumaru killed her the instant she opened that mouth?

“You dare speak thus of your superiors?” He was too shocked to do anything when she stepped closer to him and prodded his thick armor with a finger.

“Why do you all think you're above everyone else? Who died and made you my mother?” Before he could stop himself, he had slapped her across the face. Drops of blood trickled to the ground from her lip. He instantly regretted his actions, but could not explain why. He had felt how fragile her jaw was. Even if he hadn't used much force, the blow had still left a quickly-swelling bruise.

“You will hold your tongue, human. Your worth is not so high as to allow you to speak in such a tone.” With a snap of his fingers, tools were brought. “This Niran can only hope that this punishment will be enough to break you into the proper order of things. Be thankful that for whatever ludicrous reason My Lord has refused to waste time on ending your empty life.”

(………a………)
(&# 8230;…….a………)

By nightfall, the work was still not done. Then again, what could she expect? She had never tried to repair holes in walls before - especially not with such primitive tools. The wood she was given was heavy, the glue to repair the rice paper sticky and foul in its odor. She heard crickets chirping outside and felt her mind wondering what it would be like to be as free as they were right now. Her brain once again asked the same accursed question that it asked so often:

Why me?

As usual, there was no answer provided. Her hands stung from the sharp snags and tiny pieces of wood that had made their way into her skin. She thought it ridiculous that there were blood stains on the ivory paper even though she had just repaired it. Her head was spinning, her body too numb to be a possible conductor for any rational thought. Her muscles screamed for her to stop, to fall, to faint - anything but continue this pointless task. But Niran's eyes watched her from the eerie shadows, constant reminders that any weakness on her part would simply prove that he was right.

How long will you keep this up? Are you willing to die just because of some damn jackass who thinks he's the ruler of the universe?

But she was wrong. She would live through this and come back to her Inuyasha. She would be in a warm bed, drinking warm tea and eating her favorite Oden with her family. Buyo would rub against her leg, her grandpa would be telling crazy stories, and she would take Inuyasha shopping…

Crap…my mind's wandering again…I wonder how much longer I can last…

Her raw fingers slid across another piece of rice paper to seal it in a perfect square into the door. That's what this was…just another routine: cut, squeeze, paste, slide, cut, squeeze, paste, slide…just had to keep it up and she could make it through…cut, squeeze, paste, slide…

“I do not recall My Lord ordering for you to kill her.” The deep, baritone voice sliced through her concentration. She felt like telling him off - like a madman telling someone to be quiet in a silent room. If he was to interrupt her now, she would lose any sort of momentum she had gained. “I don't believe that she is making any sort of progress.” Not making progress? How could that be? She was following the routine!

“Digar…what are you doing here?” There was an arrogant snort and a chuckle.

“I was summoned, Niran…yet I find it strange that you were assigned to such a task as driving a poor girl to her death. Then again…you were always assigned to such duties…” She heard a vicious growl.

“Keep your mouth shut, Digar, if you want to continue living.” There was another chuckle.

“Oh? Niran…is that any way to treat your beloved brother?” His voice was a bit scolding. Perhaps they would fight and she could use that chance to escape. She had seen plenty of action flicks where enemies of the protagonist fought with each other, providing a golden opportunity for a getaway.

“You are no brother to me, but a disgrace to the family.”

“Hmm…interesting words, little brother…but should you really say them?”

“Pardon?”

“Well…here I am, about to sit in the high chair you used to accommodate while you are here supervising the punishment of some worthless woman.” Niran's growl was dangerously quiet.

“If you continue, I will assume that you wish to part with your life.”

“Oh? Why don't you try it…dear brother…” Kagome's heart skipped a beat. Could it finally be that Kami had taken pity on her? She tensed her aching legs, her wild eyes taking in the door so close to her and the ease with which it could be opened. Damn this body! Why wouldn't it listen?

Everything is going blurry…I'm not sure how I even made it this long…

“I would gladly take up your challenge, if it wasn't for my loyalty to My Lord's orders.”

“Or are you just not certain in your skill?” There was a deafening noise that sounded like wood cracking before a pair of roars rang in her ears. Kagome didn't waste any time. Her legs straightened, her body twisting to align itself into the most efficient position to bolt while her hands reached out towards her only chance of escape. Her fingers were touching the door, sliding it open, the air of freedom tickling her nose when she was whipped around and slammed painfully into something obviously solid. Air wasn't reaching her lungs no matter how hard she tried breathing, and she instinctively dug her nails into the object that pressed against her windpipe.

“Who said you could leave?” Her surroundings were fading, her lungs burning, and just when she thought she would die for sure, an echoing voice bounced off the walls.

“Nowhere in my command did I specify that you were to touch the woman. Could it be that you tire of your status of nobility? Or could it be that you are proving to have mutinous intent?” Something happened around her that she didn't really understand, but all she cared about was that air - blessed, blissful oxygen - was giving her life once again. There were strangled howls of agony, loud explosions of sound, and a pain as her head hit the hard wood of the ground. But she still couldn't care…couldn't care about anything but the piercing yellow eyes that held the rarest drop of an apology…

But couldn't that be a hallucination?

(………..a………̷ 0;)
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Forgive me for the long delay in updating. Things have been hectic here with my exams for entering college and finishing up summer reading. I finally had time to sit down and finish this today…whew!

I had to proceed with extreme caution in this chapter, for things were going a bit faster than I anticipated. I actually planned on making there be battles in this chapter, but I realized that I had to make the main characters have more time together before he could make any sort of a decision.

Sorry once again for the delay, and I hope you guys aren't really mad at me. I'm leaving for Russia (my homeland) on Friday, and I will be gone for two weeks. Just know that I have most of the next chapter written and that there is a chance that I will be able to post it sometime within the next two or three days.

Please please give me your feedback if you have time. You guys gave me so many wonderful ideas that I incorporated into this chapter, and just know that your input helps the story keep rolling!

I love all of you, and I hope you are still enjoying your read.

--Raven91