InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Needing It ❯ Chapter Four ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: So far so good, they haven't spotted me yet.  Now all I have to do is sneak out with the copyright documents and…

AN: Oh yeah, here comes another one.  For all my reviewers, may the gods shower you with splendor for praising a humble storyteller as myself.  But enough about that… it's time to answer some questions.  Esumym is in control of the events in this story, and she is unwilling to divulge the ending to me just yet, but do not despair, I have my ways.  As for Inuyasha and Kagome and whether they will get together or not, you'll just have to keep reading.  Maybe they will… or maybe not.  All right, Aigyou Aidokusha, on with the show!

Pain

A sigh of irritation escaped the confines of her teeth.  The monk beside her just smiled patiently.

"Arrgh!  Sixth inn in two months and none of them have any idea where Naraku is," the taijiya said with fists balled and shaking with aggravation.  The smile remained on Miroku's face.

"Well, at least they knew who Naraku was this time.  The other villagers had never even heard of him."  Not altogether a bad thing, but it still presented problems.  However, he should have been worrying about himself at the moment since he had just foolishly reminded Sango of his presence.  Sure enough, the woman turned and vented.

"Oh shut up Houshi!  Stop being so calm and figure out a plan!  I'm tired of all these dead ends!"  As the woman resumed walking, Miroku felt his smile waver in the face of that tirade.  'She's been very irritable since we left Kaede's village.  I wonder… is she still coming to grips with the parting?'  The thought brought a sharp jolt of pain but he pushed it aside.  That could wait.  It could not interfere now, not when his beloved is need of comfort.  And the perfect chance was coming up to apply a nice change of mood.  Kirara transformed in order to carry the duo to the next lead and Sango readied to mount the flaming neko.  Miroku decided to help out by giving her a little boost.

The palm on her rear made the memories slam against her heart.  Kagome, Shippou, Inuyasha, they were all gone.  All that remained was a lecherous monk with an unnatural obsession with her ass.  Something within the depths of her self-control snapped and she whipped around, her hand trailing behind and landing on his cheek.  The resounding slap was deafening in his ears but she didn't notice.

"Damn it all Houshi-sama you know I hate it when you do that!  Why, then, do you constantly feel the need to touch me there?  I swear one of these days I'm going to castrate you and feed the remains to the first demon we meet!"  The anger seared her veins, pumping off round after round of insults and accusations until Miroku no longer smiled.  There was a predatory glint in her eye and all the monk could feel was fear.  "And another thing… I'm so sick and tired of the way you proposition every pretty girl we meet!  Its immoral and sick and I hate it!  And don't feed me that bullshit that you're just searching for an heir, all you want is to sleep with them, plain and simple!  You're a despicable excuse for a monk!"  The tirade ended with a large sigh and slap across the other cheek before the taijiya, worn out and close to tears, climbed atop Kirara and flew into the trees.  Miroku stood in stone shock as she disappeared.  His mind was racing as it struggled to process everything that had occurred.  It appeared she had just lost control of her emotions, but he knew better than to use that as an excuse.  Sango might have a lot of pain inside her, but she would never say anything that wasn't a lie, not even in anger.  This realization made his heart tremble ever so slightly before control restored itself.  The mask safely in place, the monk turned in the opposite direction.  Suddenly a deep voice from above called his name.  Hatchi appeared with a rush of air, his raccoon form hopping from one foot to another and a look of panic in his eyes.

"Miroku-sama, Miroku-sama," he called; seemingly oblivious to the fact that aforementioned monk stood just three feet from him.

"What is it Hatchi-san?"

"Oh, my lord, it's Mushin-sama!  He is sick, master!  He has lost strength even to get out of bed!  He's dying milord, he's dying!"  The demon was rapidly approaching hysteria and many of the villagers stepped onto the road to see what all the commotion was.

"Calm down Hatchi," he said soothingly, while inwardly he struggled to find a solution.  He knew what to do, but hesitation halted him and forced him to look to the treetops.  Hurt and pain seized him before he made his decision.  "Take me to him."  The raccoon demon transformed and the two made their way to the Buddhist temple.

Inuyasha awoke instantly but made no movement.  Something was near he could feel it.  Testing the air, he filtered the scent of clay.  His ears twitched at the rustle of the leaves to his left.  She was here.  Closing his eyes to the inevitable, the hanyou waited.

"Inuyasha," came the soft stoic voice of the past.  "I know you are awake so you might as well sit up."  At the soft command he sat up and focused his attention on the grass before him.  'Don't look, keep your head down and don't look at her.  DO NOT LOOK AT HER!'

Kikyou could not understand the situation.  Inuyasha sat alone in a clearing, the dried blood of wolf demon on his clothes and on the grass around him.  The sun had set and the thin crescent moon shone its feeble light on his hair.  She reached out with her hand but the hanyou skirted away and drew his knees up ever so slightly, as if unconsciously protecting his self.  Half illuminated by the moon and half dipped in shadow, he appeared unbearably sad.  Feeling she had denied ever since the 'incident' resurfaced, aching for him and begging for some way to provide comfort.  All this remained internal, never reaching her eyes.  Her voice remained calm.  "Care to tell me why I find you in a clearing all alone?"  'There, that should answer my questions without revealing any concern I am not feeling.'  But Inuyasha said nothing, eyes hidden behind bangs.

'Don't, don't, don't look,' he chanted silently, but his youkai self having finally surfaced.  'What have you got to lose, weakling?  You have to get over this or I will take control.'  The argument escalated between the selves that he did not notice Kikyou put her hand on his shoulder.  When he realized it, he shrugged it off immediately and stood.  The miko took unconscious tally of how tall he had gotten since the last encounter and watched as the hanyou turned to leave.  Wait…leave?

"Inuyasha!  Do not dare leave this clearing!  I asked you a question and demand an answer," she said loudly and angrily, the concern growing.  Youkai Inuyasha stiffened at the challenge in her tone and forced the body to turn and face the bitch.  Their eyes locked and it was like an explosion of a star in his chest.  Muscles contracted painfully as lungs screamed for air, but his throat was sealed shut.  It was she!  His mate, she stood just an arm's length away!  She had come back to him!  But upon inhaling to shout for joy his nose caught the scent of clay and he knew then.  It was not she, just an imitation put to tease and torment his lonely soul.  Human Inuyasha fell to his knees and wept, leaving Youkai Inuyasha to keep the mass upright.  Kikyou saw all this, including the slump of his shoulders as he beheld her and then she knew as well.  "So she left you," she said softly, but there was neither remorse nor joy.  "My reincarnation has returned to her time.  Does this mean that you are ready to go to Hell with me?"  Inuyasha barely heard the words before snapping his head up and rushing toward the dead miko.  Expecting blood-red eyes and fangs at her throat, she was surprised to see lifeless golden eyes and his lips dangerously close to hers.  Moisture collected at the corners but did not fall.  Then a whisper, harsh and soft, reached her ears.

"No Kikyou, I cannot just yet."  The breath on her lips made a slight shiver run down her back, not to mention his hands on her shoulders.  She pushed aside these feelings and faced the hanyou, her face demanding an explanation.  "I have a journey to complete and will not sway from it.  I will complete the Shikon no Tama.  It's the only thing I can do to atone."  The last sentence floored her and the question begged to be heard.

"Atone for what, Inuyasha?"  The hanyou released her and fell into his customary crossed-legs position.  Kikyou sat facing him and asked again.  All she could hear was- "For chaining her to me."  Anger flared at her reincarnation.  What she had done must have been great to damage the proud Inuhanyou so, but what?  "Tell me everything," she requested in her softest tone and he obeyed, emotion stripped away.

At the temple, Miroku changed the towel over the aging monk's forehead.  After arriving he set to work solving what ailed his old friend.  But it soon became clear that all the sake he enjoyed drinking finally caught up to him.  There was no second chance this time.  Mushin was going to die.  Hatchi stood outside the door as guard, silent tears flowing from his eyes.  Once the towel was changed, Miroku sat back and studied his master, who seemed to sleep serenely.  'He will not awake from this nap,' he thought with a smile.  The smile faltered and he just spoke.

"Well, old man, I warned you about drinking, but you never listened.  Now look where it got you.  But, I have to admit, you were easier to handle when you had a good amount of sake in you.  Your timing, as usual, is perfectly horrendous, deciding to die right when I need you the most."  He knew he had slipped and he also knew that were Mushin awake he would laugh until the mountains rang with amusement.  But since he continued to sleep, Miroku decided to give a little confession, beginning with a sigh.  "Everything's falling apart, sensei.  Kagome is in her own time with no way of coming back.  Inuyasha roams the forests and mountains with a broken heart.  On top of that, Lady Sango does not seem to be taking the parting too well.  So I tried to cheer her up, right?  You know, doing what I usually do, but it just served to make her angrier.  What she said… struck a chord somewhere.  It hurt, but I knew it was the truth.  My quest for an heir has served to just bring shame to my title.  So, although I love her so much, I will have to respect her opinion and leave.  I will resume my training and strive to attain true enlightenment.  As for the Kazaana, I will bear it until it takes me into the void.  My quest for vengeance ends here.  If I can, I shall take an apprentice and he shall inherit my teachings, but the curse will not follow him.  That is an encouraging thought, to have a son without passing down my curse."  Miroku smiled again at the serene countenance of his master.  "I feel much better.  Thanks for listening ojiisan, it was a big help."  In a final act of good-bye, Miroku leaned in and planted a kiss on the monk's forehead and left the room to his father's tomb.  Sitting in the crater he set to meditation and prayer for the soul of his last family member so that it may attain the peace it deserved.

She could feel it, its blossom and evolution until it encompassed her spirit, an overwhelming sense of sadness.  That stupid girl!  She had destroyed him.  And him!  Still so weak that he would let a wench like her even get that close.  The sadness turned to jealousy, for she had never reached that level of intimacy with him, and now never would.  Inuyasha just tuned his eyes to the night sky, dwelling on his tale and morbidly fascinated at his lack of tears.  The agony was there, biting and scarring, but it produced nothing from his eyes.  One might say he no longer cared, but of course this was not the case.  Survival, one of the most powerful instincts, held back the onslaught.  To cry connotes weakness, and weakness meant death.  It was that simple.  Kikyou, on the other hand, knew what she had to do.  Inuyasha was lost to her.  Besides, after hearing of the pain he would have to endure now, it made the eternal wrath and anguish of Hell seem easy.  Finally, she decided to help him in the only way she knew how.

"Inuyasha, I want you to look at me."  Slowly the hanyou turned to face her.  Stepping back she said, "I release you of your vow.  And to help in your quest," she took out her arrow and quickly stabbed her heart with it, shocking him.  Pulling it out, the red tip glowed with a bright light.  "I give you this arrow.  It is endowed with my miko energy and will glow whenever a jewel shard is near."  Inuyasha was speechless but in a rush of gratitude he embraced the priestess.

"Thank you Kikyou," he said, his voice breaking the name in two.  Without warning she moved and pressed her lips against his.  The power that coursed through his lips to hers was electrifying and right then she could no longer deny it.  As for the hanyou, he let it happened.  After all, she deserved it for listening and giving him such a useful tool.

"I love you, Inuyasha, I think I always did.  But my duty to the Shikon Jewel kept me from even admitting it.  I just want you to know that."  At her words a ray from above suddenly appeared, shining on her.  The souls within her began dispersing.  The miko just smiled, ready to return to Hell.  However, instead of the blistering flames, she felt a wave of peace fill her.  "What's happening," she murmured as her body began lifting from the ground.  Inuyasha smiled.

"It seems, my dear Kikyou, that you have proven yourself worthy of Heaven.  Since this time around there is no anger or need for revenge, you are unfit for Hell.  Congratulations, may your be happy now."  Tears filled her eyes as the sky split to reveal a glow of pure white pillars.  Joy was the last emotion to grip her body before it disintegrated.  The few bones that lingered Inuyasha took and buried under a tree, scratching on the stone an epitaph.

Here lies the priestess Kikyou

Who lived twice and found penance

Amari o Kyuui

Five hundred  years later, Kagome Higurashi sat at her table furiously doing her homework for the next day when a sudden surge of bliss overtook her, causing her to drop her pencil and clutch her chest.  All the logarithms and dates left her mind and she was met with a clear vision of a white-haired god in red with dog-ears.  'What does it mean,' she thought even as the sob clawed at her throat.  She had managed to put him out of her mind by diving into school, but that one glimpse of her love dashed her efforts aside like so much dust in an angry breeze.  But with the sight of Inuyasha followed that of Kikyou, the clay pot bitch.  Her face was the one filled with joy, but why?  Many theories sprouted, but only one took hold, and of course it was the worse.  'She's smiling because of Inuyasha.  He probably decided to, to…' but the thought would not continue, it refused to manifest and cause her pain.  He would not do that, would he?  She received her answer in the form of another vision.  It was a large tree flushed with cherry blossoms and at the base a stone with ancient kanji on it.  Inuyasha's writing.  It was hers; this grave belonged to Kikyou.  The idea brought some comfort, although she refused to admit such a horrible emotion that hardly fitted the situation.  'Inuyasha…' The tears came again and she had to thrust herself on her bed to wait it out.  The guilt flared strong as that night, but with it came the hopelessness of being unable to quell it.  Misery seeks more desolation, a philosopher once said, but she had never believed it.  Why would someone in pain seek to enhance it?  But now every time she remembered the loss she went to the well.  Sitting at the edge she would run her hand along the lines of his final message, letting the grief consume her soul.  It was an exquisite agony that she had become addicted to, for it never so much as when she was in the well house.  Sometimes she fainted, other times she just sat silently recalling all the experiences in the Sengoku Jidai.  Every time she would attempt to return to the place that felt more like home than this.  But each time she leapt into the oblivion she would land on hard dirt and end up bruising her knees.  Every day her friends and teachers would comment on the purple contusions that shone against her skin that had become white from lack of sun.  She would not answer, letting them to come to their own conclusions.  She no longer cared what they thought.  Turn in homework, get the A, and move on.  College was coming up soon and she had to be ready.  Who cares if she couldn't think of a major?  She could always decide when she got there.  Have to keep going.  'I can't go back to what I want.  All I can do is focus on the road ahead, but my heart will always be in the past.'  Her love for him had not faded in the slightest, to assume so would be the gravest sin anyone could ever commit.  She would never stop, no matter what came her way she will love Inuyasha until her dying day.  The tears ended and she returned to her desk.  English homework called to her, with physics and anatomy sounding their own call.  'Dive in and forget, Kagome, let the words purge your mind of everything.'

Sango felt badly for what she had said, really she did.  It was not her place to criticize Miroku, no matter how much his actions infuriated her.  He needed an heir to carry on his quest, so it was perfectly reasonable he ask every pretty girl he met to bear his child.  Of course, he did not have to in front of her.  And it wasn't as if he was necessarily bad.  He never forced himself on any woman, preferring to caress their rears when they let their guard down and he treated every woman with respect, even those that declined his request.  Not to mention all the times he had been there for her when she needed a friend.  He was a good guy, she had to admit, but that changed nothing.  She would apologize and then have him follow behind her and Kirara for a while.  So she made her way back to the village a day after her tirade only to find the monk was nowhere to be found.  She inquired at the inn, and one of the merchants told her he had gone west with some kind of raccoon demon who seemed upset about something.  She knew the description was that of Hatchi, but why would he seek out Miroku?  Did something happen with Mushin?  Worried, she and Kirara raced for the temple.

The sun was rising when Miroku entered the hut.  Although there was no visible change, the aura that surrounded his old master was gone.  Mushin was dead.  The young monk smiled with sad joy at his sensei's ascension.  Removing his haori and under shirt, he grabbed a shovel and dug an indent right at the edge of his father's crater.  Once it was done he wrapped Mushin in the blanket he died in and placed him in the grave.  He refilled the hole and smoothed out the mound.  All that was left was an item of personal value to the deceased and the rites of ascension.  He stood and entered the temple.

Sango and Kirara landed in a clearing close to the temple and walked the rest of the way.  She did not know why she did this, but it seemed like the right thing to do.  She didn't want to frighten the old man.  The temple came into view just as Miroku stepped out.  He wasn't wearing a shirt!  Sango blushed as her eyes unintentionally studied and admired every curve of his chest.  In his left hand was a bottle of sake and she noticed he was sweaty.  Assumptions jumped into her mind.  'That bastard!  How dare he defile a sacred place with that type of shit!  Oh, he is so going to get it.  It's time to collect some manhood gems!'  Anger sprang to hide the hurt tearing into her.  Although she would never have thought him capable, it was clear that damn monk had finally found someone to fulfill his dream.  'Stupid wench probably gave it up that same night too.  Figures he would get a damn slut to bear him a child.'  He disappeared into the house before resurfacing fully clothed and stepping out of the doorway, made for the side of the temple, the taijiya's eyes following his every move.  Then he committed another unforgivable act.  He opened the bottle and let the alcohol fall on a grave!  And now he was praying.  This was the last straw!  She stomped out of her hiding place.

"You, you, you vile depraved lecher!  How dare you!  How can you do that?"  Miroku recognized the voice immediately and a smile pushed its way to his face.  He had hoped to prolong this talk, but it seemed Fate had other plans.  Finishing the prayers he stood and faced the firing squad.  The slap he was ready for, and so were the angry words she blasted at him, so he just waited.  The usual names of lecher and bastard popped in his mind until she finally started to wind down.  "Disgusting, bringing a slut onto holy land.  I don't take back anything I said!"  Panting and out of insults, she glared at his stoic face.  It was his turn now.

"You're absolutely right Lady Sango.  I am a horrible monk.  I let my need for revenge cloud the wisdom of my Buddhist learning.  So now I have come to a decision."  The taijiya, floored by his words, could only listen silently as he continued.  "I must abandon my hunt for Naraku and focus on achieving Nirvana, true enlightenment.  I bid you my fondest farewell.  I shall never forget you Sango."  He bowed to her and walked away.  She was speechless.  What in Izanagi's name was he thinking?  He didn't honestly believe her did he?  Her eyes fell on the grave and the stone marker.  On it was etched a short epitaph: Resting place of Mushin, a great monk who fulfilled his aspiration.  Sleep forever in bliss.  The pieces fitted together and her mistake revealed itself.  She spun around and shuddered with fear at the distance he had managed to cover since her epiphany.  He couldn't leave, because that meant loneliness and pain.  Who would save her from the nightmares or memories?  Who would hold her as she cried, soothing with words and enticing her with visions of a perfect world where she and Kohaku were happy and together.  Slowly but surely, Miroku had begun to appear in those images, right at her side as her brother tried and failed to plow a straight line.  Now that idea could no longer be, her shield was gone.  The scream of despair clamored to be heard, but she replaced it with something deeper, an abyss of light praying with one word.

"Miroku!"

The utterance made him pause.  It had not been loud, nor was it a plea.  That one word was the call of her soul for happiness.  Desperation laced it with need and sorrow.  He could not resist such a powerful summon and he ran back to her and embraced her.  The sudden physical contact made her finally break down.  She clung to him and buried her face in his robes.

"No, no, no, please no," were all he could hear from the face in his robes and moisture on his chest announced her tears.  Miroku pulled her away and held her at arm's length.  Her bowed head shook from side to side and she continued to mutter in a soft voice.  Resistance was futile as he lifted her chin and molded his lips against her.  The illusion flared for one second before withering under the glorious sheen of reality.  The world had ended and only they remained.  Sango gave a low moan at the intense heat that seared her skin and left her numb in his arms.  Recovering quickly from the ecstasy, she reciprocated the kiss with her own zeal.  The kiss really had been long overdue.

AN: That's it for now.  I have to pry some information from Esumym for Chapter five.  Wily but beautiful, what more could I ask for?  Ja ne.