InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ No Such Thing As Fate ❯ Confessions ( Chapter 20 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Here is part two. Sesshomaru may seem way out of character for this chapter and kind of perverted, I have a sort of reason for that… (Yes I mean that the way I wrote it)

Yes! Kuro is back and even as an infant he's a handful.

Now you know why Taishi was even in this story. After this chapter I'm sure you'll see Hitomu's purpose even if I did use him as a plot device.

There was another question someone asked but I can't remember what it is, sorry

I'm sorry to people I've thrown for a loop with this story, someone told me it felt like two stories shoved together? I'll be careful to keep from doing that with other stories but I'm already too far into this one to change it.

Here's your dose of Sesshomaru, read and drool in happiness.

This is part 2 and my disclaimer shall be:

Disclaimer: Kudos to anyone who sues me for writing this and expects to get any semblance of money from me within the next five years. College, enough said.

Chapter 19: Steps toward Recovery: Confessions

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Kagome stared numbly into the fire silently wishing she were with Jiji curled up by his side. Of course, she hadn't spoken to him in a long while. She planned to remedy that as soon as she got the energy and the peace of mind to concentrate on making that damnable orb.

'I just want to go home, I'm so tired of all this weird crap happening to me. Mama always made it better and Souta knew just what to do to cheer me up. Grampa was…well just Grampa.' She glanced down at the baby and Shippou. Shippou was talking quietly and poking the infant making him squirm, but otherwise he seemed to be enjoying himself.

"Milady?"

Kagome blinked and glanced up at the bowl in her face.

"Milady you must eat or you won't have energy for the journey." Kagome didn't even think to protest as she took the bowl. Shippou received his own bowl of food and as long as the kit was being fed, she had no complaints.

She took a few bites before it began to taste sour in her mouth. She swallowed and sat the bowl aside.

Kagome sniffled staring bitterly at the food. "Milady are you well?"

She only turned away and scooted a little more into the forest for privacy. She pulled the baby closer to her body and stared broodingly at a tree.

"Milady?"

Kagome snatched the leaves off a nearby bush, "leave me alone!" she snapped, her voice trembling.

It didn't take long for her to break down in tears. The men could only sit in awkward silence as she sobbed into an arm. "I want to go home and see my mama. It's seems like every time I do something somebody gets hurt. Kuro is like this now and it's all my fault and then the fighting in the village…" she sniffled trying to calm down. "I miss my family and I keep ending up in these weird situations. I miss Jiji too, he would make it all better but I can't even make it to the border without getting someone killed," She bawled. Shippou scooted a bit closer hoping to give her a bit of comfort where nobody else could.

The kit cringed when the baby started to wail with her. It took a long while for Kagome to get all her tears out and when she did, she noticed the crying child. She blinked heavy tears from her eyes and stared at Kuro. "I would say you were mocking me if you weren't a baby, did I scare you Kuro-chan" She whispered.

"Ewww," Shippou whimpered pinching his nose.

Kagome's already weak stomach did a jig when she caught a whiff of the reason for Kuro's discomfort. Giggling a bit she sniffled, "You're a stinky baby Kuro-chan. I think we need a bath…that sounds nice."

She stood slowly and walked over to her bag where she found a diaper for Kuro, a fresh blanket and a fresh set of clothes for Shippou.

"Milady let one of us go with you."

Kagome blinked drowsily, "You stay with the prisoners, all of you" she shot a glance at the three men tied to the tree.

"But milady-"

"If you follow us, I will break your face," she said as if she were talking about the weather. The Samurai in the camp cringed.

"Hai Milady" they called after her.

Shippou sat his bowl down and scrambled into the bushes after his mother.

Kagome found her way to a very convenient hot springs. She laid Kuro down on his sheets and with practiced ease, stripped him of his cloth diaper. Shippou offered reluctantly to go dump his diaper and Kagome let him go finding the site of the kit scowling at the cloth as if it was going to kill him hilarious. She poked Kuro in his plump little belly and he kicked at her.

She snickered to herself as Shippou returned with the still soiled diaper minus the little present Kuro tended to leave in his diapers a few times a day. Kagome smiled tiredly at Shippou, "you go ahead and take a bath while I clean our clothes."

Shippou tore his clothes off and hopped into the spring without a second thought.

Kagome stripped off her own clothes and set them aside before sliding into the spring. She picked up Kuro who kicked at her head. She only tilted her head out of harms way.

"You little brat, do you hate baths that much?"

She pulled him close and waded into the water. He shrieked and she ignored him as she washed him thoroughly.

When she was finished, she went back to shore and spread out a fresh sheet for him. Kagome laid Kuro down and grabbed the filthy sheet and her own soap. Stubbornly she began to scrub the sheet clean while Kuro lay squirming on his blanket. She had no fear of him taking off because he couldn't quite roll over by himself.

The sheet was easy to clean so she moved on to her own yukata. Shippou had a change of clothes so she wasn't too worried about his clothes drying quickly. Kagome paused a moment and frowned before continuing to scrub her yukata.

Shippou gave a sudden squeal and tore across the water like a bat out of hell. He smacked into her arm and held on for dear life but Kagome ignored the kit.

"Is there something I can do for you Lord Sesshomaru?" she asked loudly.

A flash of white appeared out of the corner of her eye. She shot a glance at Kuro who was gurgling and kicking excitedly at the youkai lord standing at the foot of his sheet. Sesshomaru didn't even spare her a glance as he stared intensely at the baby.

"Sesshomaru-sama he can't see you, I don't think you can glare him into silence" Kagome sighed tiredly.

"He is blind?"

Kagome nodded absently.

"To what do I owe this honor Sesshomaru-sama, I'm in the middle of my bath and I honestly didn't think I would see you until the final battle with Naraku," she said lazily.

"This Sesshomaru agreed to work toward the goal of destroying Naraku with you as a comrade. If you die before then all the patience spared on you will have been for nothing." He glared, displeasure shining in his eyes.

Kagome glanced at him as Shippou hesitantly released her arm hearing the word comrade.

"You thought I was dying?" she asked confused and awed at once. Sesshomaru was checking up on a 'comrade'. She found the thought funny but she kept her thoughts to herself.

"You're aura has dimmed" he said dully.

Kagome's eyes narrowed, she hadn't been aware he could see past her powers and still sense her presence but then again he was a very powerful youkai lord. If everybody with any control of their powers could hide from him when they pleased, he wouldn't have made it to where he was in the world.

"Eh, well I don't know why…I'm tired Sesshomaru-sama, don't mind me please." She shrugged and Sesshomaru finally graced her with a glance.

"Are all humans such horrid liars?"

Kagome clenched her teeth, "Now look-"

He only looked away, "What is this child," Kagome clenched the cloth in her hand tightly at the dismissal.

"Sesshomaru-sama why is it every time I come into contact with a youkai of any kind, especially Inu youkai, they have something cruel and unnecessary to say to everybody. How are you alive when you talk to people the way you do." She sneered, fed up with playing the civil person in the conversation without anyone reciprocating the same respect.

"The child" he clipped tightly.

Kagome waved a dismissive hand. He couldn't talk to her like he had common sense, she couldn't remember why she had the baby.

Sesshomaru snarled quietly, "Wench!"

Kagome blinked and giggled at how absurd the insult sounded. She hadn't heard that word in so long it just sounded strange now.

Sesshomaru looked as if he would snap her neck at any moment. Kagome simply stared at him with an amused grin. He held out a hand and it glowed an eerie green, hovering near Kuro threateningly but more for Kagome than the blind child. Kagome's eyes narrowed at the silent threat and she went back to scrubbing.

"He's an orphan I found in a village I stayed at for a while," she said calmly. Sesshomaru lowered his hand seeming to accept the explanation. She dunked her yukata a few times.

"I'm not going to die from being tired Sesshomaru-sama, I'll do my duty as the Shikon Miko as long as I am able" she promised solemnly.

Sesshomaru's eyes glided over to Shippou playing over by one of the rather large rocks in the spring. 'Smart kit' he thought approvingly. 'Now if only his guardian knew when to act in her place,' he thought turning a glare on Kagome.

"You are human, you can't do your duty if you are dead no matter what you swear," he sneered. Kagome brushed the insult off leveling him with a stare. She opened her mouth to respond when the most fascinating site met her brain…and shriveled it on the spot.

A graceful arc of liquid rose from one infant named Kuro and met with the pants leg of one lord of the west.

Kagome slowly brought a hand to her mouth to hide her horror and shock. Sesshomaru's fluffed and neat white pants leg quickly stuck to his skin as urine went straight through the fine silk.

Kuro lay on his back, eyes closed, looking quite relieved.

Sesshomaru was standing there looking at the child in disbelief.

Kagome watched them both wondering how to beg Sesshomaru not to kill the baby.

Shippou was floating in the water foaming at the mouth.

'You little bastard, how am I supposed to get you out of this,' she thought with a hiss.

"Should I kill you or the child first?"

With quickness not normal for her, she snatched the baby from the sheet leaving her yukata to float in the water. Startled, Kuro began to cry. Kagome hushed him moving slowly away from the youkai lord.

"Don't kill him, believe me you're not the first person he's gifted his bodily waste too," She explained seriously. Sesshomaru in no way looked convinced to spare the baby and so Kagome' tried again.

"Spare him and I'll wash your clothes for you as an apology," she said quietly. Sesshomaru snarled and Kagome smiled tightly, "I need to speak to you about something, don't be difficult." He glared and Kagome was sure if looks could kill, she would have died three times over and poor Kuro would have been transported to the deepest depths of hell.

Kagome reached cautiously for Kuro's sheet and wrapped it around him.

Shippou already knew what was going to be asked of him and was quite happy to get away from the youkai lord.

Kagome passed Kuro over to Shippou who stood on the shore dressed and ready to go. "Go back to camp, tell them if they come out here I won't return to the castle with them for any reason." Shippou hoisted the baby onto his back and walked slowly into the forest.

Kagome looked back to Sesshomaru, "Will you be joining me Sesshomaru-sama, I'll wash your clothes while you bathe," she promised. Sesshomaru didn't respond so she went to fetch her floating yukata.

When she had her clothes, she turned and waded back toward the shore. Sesshomaru's armor fell to the ground and Kagome glanced at him as he tugged his top off. She eyed his bare torso as she wrung out her yukata. Sesshomaru's pants quickly followed and he kicked them off into the water. Her gaze drifted from his sculpted chest to his still missing arm. Her mind suddenly wanted her to look a bit lower but she stopped herself by sheer force of will.

Kagome sent him a dirty glare for randomly tossing clothes into the spring but he ignored her. She pulled herself from the water and spread her clothes out on the grass to dry. Satisfied that they were far enough from the spring she got back in and grabbed Sesshomaru's pants as they floated past. With a heavy sigh, she took a bit of soap and began to scrub. A slight disturbance in the water told her he had entered the water. She glanced up as Sesshomaru waded further into the spring.

"I think I know where Naraku is," Sesshomaru ran a wet hand through his white hair as he glanced at her over his shoulder.

"Oh, do tell Miko."

Kagome sighed, "He might be around that human lord Sagisoto, you've heard of him right?"

She shot a glance at the youkai lord in time to see his lips curl in distaste, "I have," he purred. Kagome felt a chill run down her spine. She knew that tone and it promised pain for Sagisoto if Sesshomaru ever got his claws on the poor man.

"There's too much happening around that one lord for Naraku not to be involved. Naraku's not one to stay out of sight when someone is attracting this kind of attention. Either he's a part of it directly or he's manipulating Sagisoto from a distance. Of course it is Naraku we're talking about here; it's most likely the latter guess."

Kagome poked her tongue out between tightly pressed lips, scrubbing at a particularly stubborn stain.

'Damn you Kuro' she thought shaking her head in disbelief

"I suppose…"

Kagome sighed when her arms began to hurt and she let the cloth float lazily in the water. She was finished with the pants and lay them neatly out on the grass before moving on to his top.

"That's not what I really wanted to talk to you about," she took a few deep breaths and turned to Sesshomaru.

"It's about our last little meeting, if you could call it that" she shrugged a bit way past the shame of having lain with the youkai lord. Life simply moved on and her life was too crazy to dwell on a three night stand.

She giggled at her thoughts and Sesshomaru ignored her having already deemed her clinically insane. After all, who would talk to him in such a manner if they weren't all there in the head?

"It was more of a three day rut session but who cares what it's called."

Sesshomaru turned on her his eyes narrow in suspicion. His gaze was so intense she knew she needed to look away or something in her would snap.

She cleaned the clothes at a more reserved pace as her mood suddenly plummeted.

"Hitomu."

Sesshomaru was moving toward her his gaze never wavering.

"What," he murmured his voice low and guttural.

Kagome had stopped cleaning, she took a deep breath and looked him in the eye,

"Hitomu, I named our son Hitomu."

Sesshomaru stared at her for the longest moment with a strange expression on his face before he found the state of mind to speak.

"When…How."

Kagome pressed her lips together, "It's very obvious how," She snapped.

She looked away choosing to glare at the spring water, "Where is he, my pup."

Kagome spared him a glance and took comfort in the fact he seemed as shaken, if not more, than she was.

"I-I lost him."

Sesshomaru stood in the water and stared at her. Kagome glanced at him warily, she expected many different reactions but the one she got left her shivering in fear.

"My pup," His calm voice was suddenly a howl of rage, "You killed my pup!" His snarl was enraged and barely understandable as his beast fought to rend Kagome limb from limb.

Kagome staggered back as she watched his impeccable control snap for a moment. Kagome was moving long before she realized it consciously. Her hasty retreat attracted the wrong kind of attention from Sesshomaru. She dived as Sesshomaru lunged for her.

She quickly swam for the nearest shore. Something caught her ankle and the water drowned out her shriek of pain. She clawed frantically for the surface but Sesshomaru was dragging her back. Kagome turned and forced a huge chunk of her power through the water at the youkai lord.

Sesshomaru released her and Kagome immediately went for the surface. She gasped as she broke the surface and Sesshomaru came up right behind her. He caught her hair and the second Kagome felt the prick of claws against her neck she flared her power again. She gasped at the splash directly behind her as Sesshomaru was forcibly removed from her being. She pressed a hand to her bleeding neck, blinking rapidly to keep from passing out. Her energy was already working to heal the gash Sesshomaru had left in her throat when he'd been sent flying.

She staggered through the water gasping as it began to boil under the onslaught of youki from the youkai lord. Sesshomaru appeared beside her suddenly and she yelped just before his claws dug into her arm and he flung her like a rag doll. She hadn't caught her breath enough to shriek before she hit the boiling hot water of the spring.

She immediately popped above water with a choked cry of pain and confusion. Sesshomaru appeared behind her and she screamed and turned to try and stop him. His hand caught her around the neck and seconds later she was pinned to the rather large rock. Her hands were wedged between sesshomaru's hand and her throat, trying to pry his fingers free while she forced pure energy from her hands to keep the youkai lord from squeezing and snapping her neck like he planned.

"My pup" he began again.

"Let me go, Sesshomaru please." She wailed kicking at the steaming water. She badly wanted to be free then again she didn't want to be boiled alive. Her skin was already stinging from her short time in the water and being flung back first into said hot water.

He tried to tighten his grip but Kagome gave a wail, tears she'd been fighting back starting down her face. Not only was she hurting and about to be killed but her chest felt as if her heart was about to explode in anguish for both herself and Sesshomaru.

"Sesshomaru!"

"You killed my pup; don't human's have the instinct to protect their young?"

"Sesshomaru, I'm sorry!"

He took a few moments to calm his enraged beast while she gathered her thoughts.

"What happened to my pup?"

Kagome was still working to pry his hand free. He snarled angrily and his enraged youki lashed out and cracked the stone under her. Kagome snapped back so her back was again pressed to the rock. She blinked at him blurrily through tear-filled eyes.

"I'm sorry, he was born premature and he was sick."

He blinked slowly to hide his moment of contemplation. He wasn't pressing on her throat and so Kagome brought a hand up to try and brush tears and wet hair from her face. She took sobbed breath, "I didn't think you would care for a hanyou, I was going to keep him and never let you find him. I don't understand. Why are you mad, this is what you would want right?"

She gave a half laugh half sob of bitterness, "He was another dirty hanyou being added to your pure bloodline right?"

He snarled bearing his teeth, "It is not your place to keep this one's pup for him, be it hanyou or otherwise. Are we clear?" He pressed his claws into her neck to emphasize each stressed word but the blood red was fading from his eyes.

Kagome only whimpered, he held her and let out a low growl of frustration, "You will explain what happened woman."

She arched and kicked angrily going over her chances of getting free, there was a long pause between them before she conceded to his demands. "I got into an argument with my husband. The stress caused Hitomu to come early and his lungs were underdeveloped." Kagome panted letting her feet dangle in the cooling water of the spring.

"He died a few days later but," Kagome pressed her head back against the rock, "I loved him, I would never hurt my baby. It was my fault and I'm so sorry but I would have given anything to give him a chance."

Kagome shook her head, "Damn it I'm sorry," She whimpered.

He glanced toward the forest where Shippou and Kuro had vanished almost 15 minutes ago. He looked back to Kagome, his eyes dark in anger. Kagome stared at him pressing a foot against the rock as she tried to stop her stinging back from pressing against the rough stone.

"That child is a replacement-"

Kagome's free hand met with Sesshomaru's cheek long before he finished his comment. He blinked at her in shock and Kagome tilted her chin hauntingly ready to smack him again if he continued his train of thought.

Self-preservation was thrown to the wind. If the youkai lord was going to kill her, she wasn't in any position to stop him. However, she was still very much alive and she wasn't putting up with the bullshit while she had a means to stop it.

"Kuro is not a replacement for Hitomu. I admit having him sooths my hurting heart but he is not Hitomu's replacement. Kuro already had a place in my heart and Hitomu has his place with me. You've done and said a lot of cruel things to me Sesshomaru, don't do that to me, please" He stared a long moment before his expression relaxed into a frown.

Sesshomaru's expression was tired and his grip on her had loosened, now only holding her to the rock instead of letting her plummet into the water.

Thousands of thoughts raced through Kagome's head at that moment. Why was he so angry, he had just taken a lot of anger out on her but she admitted she had pushed him over the edge with her announcement. There was the question of what had pushed him to snap so suddenly on her? Would he really have wanted a hanyou baby had Hitomu survived?

Had he lost as much as she had?

Kagome realized after a long moment of contemplation that Sesshomaru probably needed an heir, any heir. He was about to go to war and he was in a bad position without any sons to take over his throne if he died. He was, of course, very mad, disappointed, frustrated and maybe even felt bad about a son he would never know.

That brought a whole other slew of questions, what were his issues with hanyou's. Was it just Inuyasha he kept harassing, or was Sesshomaru really hell bent on destroying hanyou's of any kind?

For some unexplainable reason, her heart went out to the youkai lord and she found a kindred spirit. He had wanted the child for very different reasons but they both lost something precious. She felt calm despite the initial fight. He was staring at nothing, seemingly lost in thought, his captive forgotten.

Kagome took his cheek where she'd smacked him. He seemed to wake up and his gaze flickered up to meet her gaze, "I'm sorry Sesshomaru."

He didn't give a snide comment nor did he give a grunt or a sigh. Instead, he bowed his head thoughtfully and somehow ended up with his forehead pressed into her stomach. Kagome laced her fingers in his white hair and slid down the rock as he released her.

"I'm really sorry," She murmured into his hair before resting her cheek on his head. He didn't return the gesture but he held her to the rock, the only reason she didn't fall in and probably kill herself. A few moments later, she had slid down to wrap her arms around his neck. She let her eyes flutter closed as her face found the crook of his neck. He only stood silently.

He was not angry at her so he would not punish her, in fact he wasn't sure what to think. She had thought he would kill her pup and before he had spoken to her, she had every intention of keeping the pup and raising it hidden from what she perceived as danger. It was not so strange for a female Inu to go into hiding when she was ready to give birth, though it was her males duty to keep her someplace where he could see to her needs. He hadn't known the girl was pregnant... he would make her point out the lowly male that had indirectly caused the death of his son at a later time, when he was calm and could enjoy the ingrates suffering.

Kagome's didn't so much as flinch when he did speak, the rumble of his chest traveling between their closely pressed bodies.

"Husband? You were not mated when we lay together."

Kagome's eyes fluttered open and she had the pleasure of watching a bead of water slide down his neck. For a second she wondered why his hair wasn't blocking her light and vision. A slight shifting of her hand on his other shoulder, she realized his hair had been pulled over his shoulder and her fingers had been the culprit to do so.

"I wasn't mated. Almost two weeks after we parted Taishi appeared and declared that he wanted me as his wife. A little while later it was done and I was his wife and lady of his land."

Sesshomaru was still a long moment before he tensed. His hands ran up her thighs briefly and seconds later, he was lifting her slightly. Kagome took a sharp intake of breath at strange sensations the action caused. "There is more you aren't telling woman."

Kagome realized he'd moved her to prove a point. It was very sexual that they were both standing in a spring naked and pressed to each other. He was curious as to what could stop a woman he had fought and shared a heat with, it was a matter of pride now and he certainly had thoughts of revenge.

Her toes skimmed the surface of the water as she tried to wiggle herself free without wiggling in a way that might start something they both didn't need at that moment.

Finally, she stilled and refused to lift her head from his shoulder and look at him. "They kidnapped Shippou, I was beginning to feel sick and exhausted from searching for my kit. I stayed with Taishi when I realized I was pregnant and the baby began to drain my power so he could survive in the body of a Miko. I was powerless but I could deal with it."

"A few months into the pregnancy I started to realize my baby was developing youki and then I knew…I decided to go along with the marriage until I had my baby and could escape. I guess I didn't take into account the baby could be born with white hair and looking like neither of us but it was my baby."

She shrugged a bit, "Show's how much that matters now."

Sesshomaru didn't answer and Kagome sighed against his neck. His muscles tensed of their own accord and quickly relaxed.

He was suddenly sinking into the water and Kagome pulled away as he released her. She watched as he floated over to what she presumed was an underwater rock, where he sat stared at nothing for a long moment.

The warmth and the unexplainable calm and peace she felt was beginning to fade. She wasn't ready to go back to camp yet and deal with her issues and the suffering some people called life. She swam to the youkai lord and sat beside him on the rock. She sighed yet again and rested her head back against the rock letting the warmer than usual water wash over her.

Sesshomaru glanced at her eyes narrowed in thought.

He honestly didn't know what to do with the girl. He could kill her so she would never speak of their hanyou child again, that was powerful blackmail material in the youkai court. On the other hand, she didn't seem the type to tell that information. There was also the fact she was needed for the purification of the Shikon jewel. He could take her and lock her somewhere in his castle never to see the light of day again but something told him that wouldn't work. As of right now all he could do was leave her be. The thought infuriated him. There were very few people in the world he couldn't touch because of 'out-of-war' politics, Kagome was suddenly one of them.

The youkai lords of equal status to him and their families were a given. Politically they could destroy each other and there were laws that they followed to keep some semblance of peace so there weren't massacres every youkai gathering. In a war that meant nothing and it was a free for all; the last one standing won unless some truce was decided upon.

Politically Kagome now had the power to bring him down because she had carried his child. It didn't even matter that he had slept with her in a heat-induced stupor, such things were actually a popular recreation among the higher status youkai, not that he had ever indulged. The fact that he had gotten a human pregnant wasn't even as bad as the fact, that she had lost the child and he hadn't known or been there to prevent it.

Children were precious to youkai largely due to the fact it was so difficult to reproduce. A pup could be born to a couple so randomly, stretching from a hundred to another nine hundred something years. A new pup meant a better chance for the next generation and like every other living creature, the need to pass on genes drove everything with fervor. One pup to a family threw everyone into an uproar, two meant everyone was nearly foaming at the mouth in glee, three was literally unheard of in humanoid youkai like himself.

The lower level youkai without any significant grey matter, sadly, could crank out their offspring like cockroaches.

The point was, Kagome was an untouchable, at least when it came to him wanting to harm her. This in no way stopped other youkai from trying to kill her because politics and power had little meaning to those who couldn't even say those simple words let alone spell them.

Not only was Kagome frighteningly dangerous to him now, she was also needed to destroy Naraku and the accursed Shikon jewel. He couldn't get rid of her if he wanted to live, see his land thrive, and one day sire his own pups.

He would let her live and if she was close to messing up he would have to find a different way to punish her.

That decided, they sat in silence a long while. Everything else was forgotten, there was no war coming, there was no Naraku or Sagisoto, there was no Kuro or monks that liked to cause Kagome problems. They both became lost in their own thoughts.

"I saw him" Sesshomaru twitched but didn't look at her.

She groaned and rubbed wet hands down her face before pressing a healing hand to the claw gashes in her arm, the neck wound had already stopped bleeding.

"I sat with him for three days, refusing to let him be alone," she moved her hands from her face and smiled a rather strange and tortured smile in his direction.

"He was pretty like you and very small,… he had black hair, that's the only thing that saved me from being tortured by my husband for laying with a youkai and bearing his child. He thought Hitomu was his," she murmured lazily.

She let her head roll to the side and stared at the youkai lord, her eyes drooping in exhaustion. His expression was just as tired as hers and Kagome realized that they both had been through a really strange emotional rollercoaster. Sesshomaru was probably worse off than she was, he simply wasn't a person to let emotions take control. Not only had he let his emotions burst to the surface, he had shown feelings she'd thought he just didn't have and in great intensity at that.

Silence fell over them again and Kagome watched Sesshomaru's shirt float past lazily. She caught the silken top and quickly began to wring it out. With a sigh, she stood on the seat she had been using and stepped over Sesshomaru. He didn't react despite the fact she was naked, stepping over him as if he were a random decoration that just happened to be in the way. The shore was literally two feet away. She quickly crawled up on solid ground and spread his clothing out to dry. Her ankle throbbed but Kagome could already fell the pain fading from where he had grabbed her.

She allowed herself to slide back into the spring and she glanced at him through her wild wet hair. His expression was blank and if Kagome could name this particular look, she would say he was dazed but he was relaxed, deep in thought. She took a seat near him and stared out over the water.

This was all so surreal, Sesshomaru wasn't hell bent on killing her, anymore at least. In fact it was so strange, their behavior and this peace now that everything was out in the open, she was sure they both would wake up in the morning and claim it had been a dream. Sesshomaru would probably go as far as to lie to himself, and say he would never dream of a human. He would then push it from his mind and forget. The only problem was there would be no forgetting this incident. They had spoken of their son and there had been a long moment when there had been sexual tension between them. She knew to some extent where the feeling came from, but then, she really didn't.

Her life just kept getting complicated and now she had dragged Sesshomaru into her issues, and Kagome had no doubt that he was tied to the issues now. One did not have a child together and forget it happened, especially when that child died sending both parents into emotional fits, no matter the fact they had reacted at very different times in different situations. Her heart still ached but she felt better, if only a bit.

"Sesshomaru, why didn't you kill me the second the words left my mouth," She asked miserably turning to stare him dead in the eye.

"Information. This Sesshomaru could not believe you would kill your own pup when you care for an orphan kit like you do. You would have hidden the pup from any danger, you were a proper mother for the time he was here. You won't be punish you for it"

He paused and Kagome thought for a second he was hesitating. Finally he looked away, "I knew."

Kagome gasped and looked to him wide eyed, unsure if she should be surprised by the lack of referring to himself in third person or the information he had just revealed, "If you knew, why didn't you-"

"I knew on an instinctive level" he cut in quickly. "My beast knew but I couldn't get information from it until recently. I knew a pup had been born but I was unsure who had given birth."

"Who? You have many lovers Sesshomaru-sama?" Kagome was half amused by this leak of information, she wasn't sure what else to feel.

"Youkai lords usually do."

Kagome shook her head slowly, "Your title has nothing to do with your choice to have many lovers but that's beside the point. If you had lovers why didn't you go to one of them. None of this would have ever happened otherwise."

He growled quietly, "They are not Inu-youkai. They tend to vanish during my time of heat for fear of being killed and I need a pup, preferably of pure breeding, also something they cannot handle."

Kagome fixed him with a frown, she didn't blame those females for one second but… "It's not so bad, it was pretty interesting for me and fun."

Sesshomaru turned slowly and looked at her. Kagome looked off into the forest refusing to meet his gaze for fear of collapsing in a heap of embarrassment. "I couldn't give you your pure pup either, so why me?"

"Heat makes it difficult to discriminate"

Kagome nodded in understanding and Sesshomaru stared at her a long moment before he looked away, "Fun."

Kagome immediately blushed but still didn't look at him, "How will you find a human male to handle your ideals of fun?"He pondered aloud. A flush of shame spread across Kagome's cheeks and she moaned bowing her head.

Another few minutes passed before Kagome gathered the confidence to look at the white haired male. "Sesshomaru why did you sit here and listen to me like this?" she asked.

Sesshomaru was silent a long moment before answering almost lethargically, "My beast has gone quiet again."

Kagome blinked, all previous conversation pushed, thankfully, to the back of her mind, "Oh, that seems to happen a lot when I'm around. Is that bad, don't you need your beast?"

Sesshomaru didn't think to ignore her. "The quiet is always welcome."

He blinked a few times then frowned, "You are the human ruler of that area now," he murmured more to himself than to the human woman beside him. She heard him none the less.

"Yes, it seems that way."

Her eyebrows drew together in a frown, "I guess that means that I'm a ruler under your watch" she rubbed her temple.

He merely glanced at her but didn't respond as he silently wondered if he could hide her away and her soldiers wouldn't notice, not that they could stop him. She was a ruler on his land. He knew it couldn't get any worse as he once again acknowledged, reluctantly, that he wasn't going to be ignoring her with much success from now on.

"I need to head back now, Shippou can't hold the samurai off long and Kuro needs to eat," she crawled for her clothes and seemed satisfied despite the fact they were still damp. Quietly, she dressed in her clothing and gathered the other clothing except Sesshomaru's. She sat her things in a neat pile making a mental note to clean Shippou's clothes the next time they stopped at water.

Kagome set her soap container on top of Kuro's folded blanket and looked back at Sesshomaru. He was staring off into space and Kagome tilted her head to the side silently observing him. The youkai lord had never struck her as absentminded or very laid back but it certainly was interesting to see him like this.

She motioned for him to come closer to shore and he sighed. He stood on the rock and walked to shore where he sat and proceeded to ring out his long hair. Kagome stared at him a long moment debating if she were drunk or perhaps the youki she'd been exposed to had made her crazy and delusional, her current thoughts supported both theories. Finally, she nodded and stood.

"Sesshomaru-sama since we're both going to act like this never happened tomorrow…"

Sesshomaru turned and looked at her only to find himself stunned and nonmoving as she pressed her lips to his. He sat numb in shock a moment but otherwise he didn't react. She gave his lip a light nip before she pulled away. Kagome licked her lips and took a few quick breaths.

"That," she gave him another peck simply because she like the taste and the power she felt controlling something so simple as a kiss from none other than Sesshomaru, "is for sitting and listening to me when I was suffering and nobody understood. You understand just a little because you lost something too. I needed to talk to someone; I honestly thought I was going to die because it hurt so much. You made it bearable, so thank you."

Another peck, this time on the cheek.

"That's for not killing Kuro, even as an infant he's an ass, but he's my little ass now."

With that, she jumped up, snatched up her things and ran away leaving Sesshomaru alone to slowly digest what had just happened.

At her departure, his beast decided to surge to the front of his mind and with it came unreserved confusion and rage. He gave a howl and Kagome clutched her things closer to her chest, "Maybe I should have told him I think he's hot, maybe he wouldn't be so mad then," she pondered to herself before bursting into a fit of nervous giggles.

"I'm crazy, I'm suicidal. Oh shit!"

Kagome stumbled to a stop and bent over to get her giggles out. She looked up less than a minute later tears slipping down her cheeks.

"I'm going to get us all killed."

She stated this as a fact and nothing less.

"Yup, it's time to go," She started a brisk pace for camp trying to choke down giggles of fear and shock.