InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Not my Fiancé ❯ Not my Pity ( Chapter 10 )

Chapter 10 Revision Completed

I hate tears. They show weakness and vulnerability. I hate pity, because that means the person pitying you believes that he or she is your superior. I hate mistakes because it is often extremely hard to fix them.

I wish I wasn't here right now. It was a celebration in honor of my honeymoon which hadn't gone as well as many people believed. We spent one of the 28 days on that cursed island together. And the rest of my free time I spent thinking of one person who was now out of my reach… that was Rin.

I knew I should have fully explained the whole mess. But instead I pushed her away. I meant not to hurt her while following my mother's last will and testament but, it seems that I hurt her even more. I can't seem to escape that hurt look. It is deep in her eyes and it is being covered by other emotions but it is still there. It was a look of betrayal.

My mother had that same look when she saw my father's new girlfriend weeks after their divorce. But I knew I should have told her the truth. I didn't love Kagura. And yes I knew she was a gold digger but it was in the will.

She's here. Inu Yasha's girl and the rest of them must have dragged her here. She's been sitting at the bar drinking a Mudslide for the last half hour. There was the occasional idiot who came to woo her but she would just sit there sipping on her drink.

If I explained it to her would she be okay? Would she smile again for me? I don't even know why I waste away parts of my life thinking about. Stupid ningen, she thought she had me wrapped around her finger. This Sesshoumaru will not be toyed with.

What do I care anyway? I have a wife, though I dislike her. I will have a family… And I will be content, whether I like it or not. But maybe one should work toward happiness instead on contentment. Either way this Sesshoumaru needs to straighten out things with her.

Rin had noticed the look in his eyes. He looked utterly and completely confused. Most people couldn't tell it, but she knew him like the back of her hand. And the thing was he was looking at her. The thought that maybe she had troubled him hurt her, but what about her feelings?

She was sick of thinking about everyone else but herself. It was time for a change. Right after she escaped from this hell hole of crazy people.

Rin slid out of her chair excusing herself from one of Sesshoumaru's lame job lackey's and left the room. After walking around for a while she found a balcony. They were actually in the penthouse suite of a hotel.

She flipped her legs over the side of the 15-story building and sat on the flimsy railing. She began to slowly kick her legs out causing the railing to shake. `So what if I fall. At least I won't have to sit through centuries of loneliness.'

So here she was. Sitting on the edge of a hotel roof, contemplating what she had left in this world when an arm pulled her off. She was getting ready to yell at the person about how they could have put her life in danger when she met face to face with Sesshoumaru. (She really wasn't planning to do it.)

“Oh…” She said. She began to walk away back toward the side.

“Were you planning to jump?” He asked following her.

“Don't know, I was thinking about it. Going through the people who might have actually gave a damn, about me dieing that is. Came up with a handful and decided to enjoy the view.” Rin said as she leaned against the balcony this time not bothering to swing her legs over again.

“Mind if I join you?”

“What, in jumping off a 15-story building?”

“No in enjoying the view…” He said looking at her and leaning on the rail.

“I don't know Madame Kagura might be waiting for you.” Rin answered he words laced with sarcasm.

“She can wait, we need to talk.” He responded. Now this was the part when he expected her to yell at him or slap him, tell him they had nothing to talk about, and then storm off the roof. But she didn't she just stared at the ground below and took out a lighter. “When did you start smoking?”

“I don't smoke, I play with fire.” She said taking out a piece of paper, lighting it and letting it fall. “Talk now Fluffy or I will kick you off my roof.” she said quite sourly.

“Why are you mad at me?” He asked wondering what had made him ask that.

“I'm not mad at you…” Rin said softly in a voice that one normally uses for small children who have done something wrong.

“You've avoided me since I returned last week.”

“Not true…” She said waving her hand over the flame.

“You told Izayoi that you couldn't come to dinner last week because you were going to a funeral…”

“And your point is.”

“I saw you at the arcade.”

“…”

“Rin.”

“I'm not the green eyed monster.” She muttered walking away from him and flicking her lighter on and off again.

“What?”

“I don't care that you married her okay! I know you know about her past and you don't care! I know about second chances…” She yelled at him. “But you shouldn't have led me on like that… I thought… that… never mind. It doesn't matter anymore I know better. I thought I was jealous but I'm not. I just pity you. I pity you Sesshoumaru and I refuse to let you just stomp on me and everyone else who cares for you like we're pieces of garbage without feelings.” She said to him calming down.

“I never treated you like that…” He said but he couldn't say anything about all the others in his life.

“Really, is that what you think? Sesshoumaru you are selfish and arrogant. You won't listen to anyone's opinion but your own. Everyone around you is worried about you and what you've gotten yourself into. And all you care about is yourself. But you're acting like you don't want to be happy. And that's just insane! Don't you want to be happy?”

“And how do you expect me to be happy? Who do you think would have made me happy? Since everyone must know that Kagura and I are not in love and that the whole thing is basically a lie. What is your opinion?” He took a step toward her form.

“…” She backed away cautiously not knowing if she should answer. “I thought…” She started and then stopped.

“I should have explained to you earlier what happened. That night in the rain… I had been out of it. I was for once, drunk. I didn't want her but I forced myself to believe I was in love with her. Then you came and ruin the whole thing…”

“But why did I mess it up?”

“Because Rin you are you. You know me like no one else does. And no matter if I married Kagura or not she would have never been you.”

“Then why did you marry her in the first place!” Rin asked/yelled as she leaned her body against a wall.

“Naraku…”

“Who the hell is Naraku?” Rin asked getting even louder.

“'My father's rival…”

“And what does that have to do with you?”

“He's Kagura's father. Rin listen, before my mother died she made it so she owned a larger part of my father's company than he did. And she put it in my name only under the circumstances that I married Kagura. And if I didn't Naraku would have taken my father's company right from under him. Our family would have been completely broke…”

“I wouldn't have cared if you didn't have any money!” Rin screamed at him before slapping her hands over her mouth at the words that flew out of her lips. That one sentence implied things, things that Rin really was trying not to think about.

“I know you wouldn't have…” Sesshoumaru said softly to her as he pulled her into his chest. “But I had to think of others for once. My father's whole retirement is in that company. Inu Yasha's money that he's been saving up forever to get Kagome a summer house in the Caribbean is circulating in there. Miroku invested in the company right after he and Sango got married. If Naraku took over he could find ways to take all of that and leave all good connections to me flat broke for no reason other than spite.”

“You don't think like that Sesshoumaru…” Rin muttered as she subconsciously snuggled into his chest.

“Not until I got extremely serious about you…”

“Don't say stuff like that.” Rin muttered as Sesshoumaru wiped her tears away.

“I asked you to wait for me and you did. And I wanted something from you when I returned and if you can look me in the eye and tell me that you don't love me then I promise I will never bother you again…”

“I…” Rin stopped and looked up at him. She opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again only to bite down on her lips.

“Tell me that you hate me and I'll never inconvenience you again.”

“I can't hate you…” Rin said as Sesshoumaru pushed their foreheads together and stared into her eyes. “I love you…”

I wish I understood you

As much as you say I do

Your eyes are an enigma

Even though your iris

Allow me a glimpse of your soul

I want to understand myself

And why I feel as though

My body needs you

And why for the first time

I knew the depths of jealousy

Even when I looked in your eyes

Life is a pain in the a$$. Anyway here are today's cliffy's… What does Naraku have to do with this story? Why is Sesshoumaru coming onto Rin? What is he talking about anyway?

Newer Comments: This chapter is in honor of me having to delete my hours upon hours of play on Sims 2 because I wanted to put reflections on the game. Oh well, when you start from scratch some things turn out better. Also I think I'm going to be promoted, applause please. Thanks guys for the love and courage and strength through these trying times…