InuYasha Fan Fiction ❯ Object of My Affection ❯ Bed ( Chapter 2 )

Bed

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but I do have Sesshomaru's Japanese voice actor Narita Ken locked in my closet. *creepily laughs*

 

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Rin's family had lived in a barn as long as she could remember.

 

Her father was a stable hand, and worked at feeding livestock, mucking stalls and pens, and seeing to the security of the animals against the threat of thieves and wolves. The wolves were the worst. They did not fear anything, not fire, not the blade of a sword. They had to suffer a blow before they understood that their foe meant business; then they would slowly slink back into the woods, always looking over their shoulders. Rin's father had scars on his legs and arms from times when the wolves had come too close. In the ten years he had worked for this house, only one pig had been injured, and two chickens eaten. Rin's father could point to the scars—on his back and right arm, respectively—he had earned in disgrace. The others were borne proudly.

 

Her mother had worked in the house of the people who owned the land. While the family was not exactly noble, they did own the second richest house in town, and thus earned the respect and humility of the people. Rin's mother first worked exclusively as a cook, but eventually became a wet-nurse and nanny to the children that were born. Rin was allowed to play with the children a little, until they became old enough to start school. After that, she began to learn to help her mother with her house-hold duties.

 

Her brother Nori was two years older. They were inseparable companions; she was the voice and he was the ideas. Together, they worked and played. Together, they ate and slept. Together, they laughed and fought. And this was perfection in their eyes. They had everything they ever needed, and every friend they could ever want. True, it was fun to play with the other children, but the other children didn't have as vivid imaginations like they did.

 

Rin and Nori would often pretend they were samurai, sent to defend the house and its family from demons and thieves. It was their favorite game. Nori would wield a short pole that once had a hoe attatched to it; Rin would always cut herself a fresh green switch and don her domed straw hat. Their enemies varied, and only they could see them. Sometimes, they sliced through a horde of marauders, bent on besmirching the honor of their house's lady. Nori had heard the word “besmirched” as it was spat from the mouth of a friend of his mother's in the village; the exact quote had been, “If I had the strength to kill that scoundrel the blacksmith apprentices for besmirching my daughter's honor, he would suffer that even the gods would cringe.” He didn't know exactly what it meant, but he knew it was bad and it happened to girls.

 

Sometimes, they fought demons. The village had been pestered by a spiteful black fox demon two winters past, and eventually a taijiya had to be hired to exterminate it. But Rin and Nori had seen it, escaping into the woods with a stolen armful of trinkets from the villagers. Nori had sneered, calling it a vicious brute and ugly. But Rin saw something different, that she never told anyone but herself in her dreams. As the fox was running away, it turned to look over its shoulder and met eyes with Rin. It's face was drawn into a scowl, but Rin did not sense any anger behind it, because of those eyes. Those big, ice blue eyes spoke to Rin. The fox was sad. He was lonely, and hungry, and hurting, and scared. And then he was gone. Within a week he was killed, and his body sealed in a tiny shrine to prevent his spirit from exacting revenge. After that, Rin didn't want to fight demons with her brother anymore. Sometimes he would happily switch their mission to bandits, but sometimes he would stubbornly insist upon demons. Rin only fought half-heartedly those days, and her frustrated brother would become bored and leave her to pursue his own adventures while she sat quietly and remembered the fox. She secretly decided that not all demons could be evil, especially not the ones with pretty eyes. This was the only secret she ever kept from anyone, and it both thrilled her and shamed her.

 

They were a close knit, happy family despite their hard life. Poverty meant nothing to the children; while the siblings grew up inside two different socioeconomic classes, they did not see a line drawn between them. This was the way things were supposed to be, after all. Their parents did little to discourage this view either, hoping this belief would remain untainted into Nori and Rin's adulthood. But it was not to be.

 

It was Nori who came up with the idea. He had seen one in the house, and because the design was simple, he set about to make one. He gathered every piece of scrap fabric that he could, and would sew them together whenever he had a spare moment. Rin would often wake in the middle of the night to find her brother still working diligently on his new project. To be so young and consumed by such passion, it was a sign to Rin of what potential lay dormant within her heart.

 

“What are you making, nii-chan?” she asked. She never called him by his name; he was always addressed in the familiar term of endearment for “brother.” She was always Rin though, to everyone in the family. Her name was endearing enough to them.

 

“I'm making a bed,” Nori answered. “I've seen one in the house; it's a big mattress stuffed with straw. We have the straw,” he said as he grabbed a handful next to where he sat, “so we just need the mattress to put it in.”

 

Rin wrinkled her nose. “But I like sleeping in the straw,” she whined. “Why do we need a bed?”

 

Nori laughed. “Doesn't it itch you?”

 

“No,” she replied, “it's soft and smells good and it's warm too.”

 

The boy snorted his disgust. “Let me tell you something right now, Rin,” he said, lowering his voice, “only animals are supposed to sleep in straw. We are not animals, we are people. We are supposed to sleep in a bed, so I'm making one.”

 

“But why hasn't mama or papa made one for us?” Rin stubbornly asked.

 

“Because mama and papa are too busy,” Nori answered in a matter of fact tone. Then he grinned, and pulled Rin close for a hug. “You'll thank me for this,” he laughed, “you'll see.”

 

Two nights later, the bandits raided the village.

 

The first targets hit were always the wealthiest houses. There stood to be a profit from them, in both food and wares. A core group of the roughest and meanest among them would sack the wealthy, while the remainder of the gang would terrorize the villagers and take what they could from their meager homes.

 

It was midnight when they came. Nori and Rin were hidden under the unfinished mattress, burying themselves deep in the straw. Their mother and father scrambled to free the livestock; wolves were meaner than bandits, but they had more honor in killing. They had just scattered the chickens and were about to set loose the hogs when the riders thundered over.

 

They were talking, and had angry voices from what Rin could hear. Both her father and the bad men were very angry. She heard her father start yelling something, an insult he had whipped Rin for saying before. She gasped; Nori pinched her to remind her to stay quiet. Then her mother started wailing. “No! No!” she was screaming. She was crying. Papa's voice was gone from the melee. Before she could make any sense of it, the barn doors came open and heavy footsteps shuffled in. Mama was with them, still screaming.

 

Nori lifted the mattress ever so slightly to see what was happening. Rin dared not move, so she waited and watched Nori's reaction to find out what was going on. His face grew cold and hardened. “They're hurting mama,” he said through clenched teeth. “They're hurting her.”

 

Rin covered her hands over her mouth. Her eyes filled with tears. What do we do? What do we do? she thought madly. Should they run?

 

“Nori!” mama was screaming. “Run! Nori run!”

 

Mama was telling them to run. Rin looked to her brother to follow his lead, but he was no longer there. Through the gap in the fabric, she could see him standing with the scythe in his hand. Papa had told them to never touch the farming tools, especially the scythe. Someone could get hurt.

 

“Nori!” Rin whimpered, quiet as a mouse.

 

Her brother charged the men and began swinging his weapon. Two of them were cut badly, and jumped back yelling and cursing and bleeding. The others quickly grabbed Nori and pulled the scythe from his hands. The tallest of them drew his sword, but Rin did not see what happened next. Another one of the bandits was stalking over to the mattress, obviously knowing that the boy had come from underneath it, and wanting to see if there were anymore people hiding. Rin wiggled deeper into the straw, just before the man stopped to investigate. She heard him lift the mattress.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Rin's family was mildly religious and mainly superstitious. She had been told to pray to her ancestors whenever she was afraid or needed help.

 

“Will they help me make rice dumplings?” she asked hopefully. That was her least favorite thing to do. Endlessly pounding away at the dough until it was sticky was boring and hurt her arms.

 

“No,” mama had said, laughing, “they won't help with that. But they will help if you're in really bad danger, like if a wolf is chasing you.”

 

Rin shivered. “I don't ever want that to happen,” she whimpered.

 

Her mother patted her on the head and smiled sweetly. “You don't ever have to worry,” she murmured, “because angels watch over little girls. They won't let anything happen to them.”

 

“What's an angel?” Rin asked, her voice muffled from being buried in her mother's apron.

 

“An angel is the most beautiful person you've ever seen,” mama explained excitedly. “They wear white and they help girls and women when they are the most afraid. I've seen one!”

 

Rin gasped, her eyes going wide, “Really?”

 

Her mother nodded. “Yes my Rin, I promise!”

 

Rin clapped her hands. “Where did you see it? What was it like? Can I see one too?”

 

Mama bent over and scooped Rin into her arms. She balanced Rin on her hip with one arm, and used the other to continue stirring the soup that would be dinner to the family who owned the house. With any luck, there would be enough left for Rin and Nori's dinner as well. “He was very handsome,” mama began with a dreamy far off look in her eyes. “I was in the woods digging for roots, when I was about 15, and a snake bit me. I had known someone else that got bitten by a snake, and she had died. Oh, I was so scared.”

 

Rin cuddled her head into her mother's neck. She had seen a snake once. It did not seem like something real to her. It was more like a wisp of smoke, and then it would be gone and the onlooker would be left dazed and unsure of what he saw. It was just unnatural to see something move over land without legs or feet; there was something evil about it. But one thing was for sure: to see a snake was to feel your soul freeze, and you had to wait for it to thaw again before you could move. Rin felt sad for her mother.

 

“I started crying,” mama continued, “and I was so afraid that I was going to die too! But then I saw a man coming towards me. The sun was in my eyes, and my eyes were already blurry from my tears, but I knew it was a man from the way he walked. He was wearing white.”

 

“The angel!” Rin exclaimed happily.

 

“Yes Rin,” her mother chuckled, “it was the angel. He asked me what was wrong, and I told him what happened. He moved so quickly, I knew he wasn't human! He had me in his arms and was running to my village. I fell asleep like that, and did not wake up for days. I dreamed the angel was always with me though, watching over me while I slept and talking to me. When I woke up, I saw someone in white clothes and I was sure it was my angel, just like I had dreamed! But then I looked up, and I saw his face, and knew he was a man, a human man. I was so disappointed.”

 

“What happened?” Rin cried. “Did the angel go away?”

 

Mama shook her head and put her forehead against her daughter's. “No, he didn't go away. He just changed.”

 

Rin's eyes were bright. “What did he change into?” she whispered.

 

“Your father,” her mother replied with a sly grin.

 

“Do all angels do that?” Rin asked.

 

Mama nodded. “For most girls, yes, they do. Especially the pretty ones, like you!” Mama put down the wooden spoon she had and tickled Rin. The little girl squirmed and squealed. When it was deemed that they had played enough, Rin was put back on the ground and her mother returned to cooking.

 

“Will I ever find an angel?” Rin begged.

 

Mama shrugged. “You'll just have to wait and see. Now, go find your brother and tell him that it's time to eat. There's enough soup here to feed an army!” And with that, she kissed Rin and patted her behind to encourage her out of the kitchen.

 

Rin hoped she could find her angel without having to get bitten by a snake.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Rin prayed to her ancestors now.

 

Please, she begged, let mama and papa and nii-chan be safe! Please don't let that man find me!

 

Suddenly, the man stopped, and let the half-way lifted mattress fall. Someone was yelling, and the other men were scuffling and scurrying about, taking as many things as they could, then they ran away.

 

Rin stayed hidden for what seemed to be a very long time. It sounded to her as if the wind was roaring outside, and at first she was scared to come out. But she had not heard her family's voices in all that time. Had they run away and left her all alone?

 

The girl emerged cautiously. It was dawn now, but still dark enough that she could see what had been making the wind noises. The house was on fire. Immediately Rin jumped up and ran towards the door. She didn't know if the barn was on fire too, but she knew she had to get away while she still could. Mama and nii-chan were there, by the door, laying down. They must have fallen asleep. She called out to them. She ran to them.

 

She stepped in their blood.

 

Rin had learned about death by watching her father slaughter the pigs. Pigs bled a lot, and screamed and screamed until they suddenly would fall silent. Then, papa told her, they were dead. The pig's skin turned grey and cold. It never woke up. It was gone, to somewhere or sometime that the dead go. Rin knew for sure that the dead do not come back. And her mother and brother were dead. Rin screamed and screamed, the fell silent. The little girl collapsed on the floor.

 

When she woke up, she was in a hut. There was a woman fussing over her, washing her hair. At first, Rin thought she was still in danger from the fire. She tried to jump up, but the woman held her down. Instead, she darted her eyes madly about the room in search of danger. There was none. It was a hut, just like any hut she had visited in the village.

 

“Poor thing,” the woman was saying to someone else, “she doesn't know where she is or what's happened.”

 

Rin remembered then. She looked down to her clothes which were piled beside her on the floor. They were stained with blood. She had been bathed from her toes to her hair, but her clothes were still soaked with blood. Rin softly wept.

 

The woman gave her a tattered pink robe to wear. “We found you in the barn, Rin,” the woman explained. “My husband and I, we were running away from the fire and ran through the barn. We knew your family lived there, my sister-in-law worked in the kitchen with your mom. That's how I know your name. We saw you, and your…,” she paused, then shook her head and changed the direction of her story. “Anyway, you were still alive, so we picked you up and took you with us. We're in the village my sister lives in, this is her house.”

 

Rin nodded, out of lack of anything better to do.

 

The woman smiled bravely. “You can come live with me, if you like. We can't go back to our old home. Everything was burned to the ground, you see. But I don't have any children, and I've always thought a little girl would be nice to have around the house. Would you like that, Rin?”

 

Rin shook her head.

 

“Oh, oh alright,” the woman quietly agreed. “Well, you can probably stay with someone else then. I'm sure someone else would love to have you. You're so sweet, I'm sure plenty of people would be so happy to take you in.”

 

Rin stared blankly. She wanted to cry, or scream that she would be fine on her own, or tell everyone to just let her go home. Somehow, no words would come.

 

The woman nodded and smiled again, suddenly nervous. “Okay Rin, let's take a walk and see if there's anyone else who can take care of you now.” She stood up and held out her hand. Rin took it, and together they walked outside.

 

Rin felt her voice die in her throat that day. She felt her mind and body separate, and her mind flew back to the barn to be with her family that was dead. The villagers were bothered and deeply disturbed by Rin's body's peculiar silence and blank stares. She refused to bathe, ate sparingly, and would make no sound even when hit. People politely declined. The little girl was let to wander freely, and beg for scraps. She found an old abandoned hut by the river, just outside the boundary of the village. She lived there. She hunted her own food as best as she could. She still begged for what she couldn't. All the time, her mind stayed with her family, but as the months wore on, she began to reclaim pieces of it slowly. Rin noticed her new home was in bad shape, and needed a blanket to hang over the door and keep out the cold. Some flowers would be nice, to add some color.

 

She stole the blanket at night from a barn. It was an old horse blanket with holes, but it was also not something that would be missed right away. The next day, she ventured into the woods to try and find some roots to eat, and flowers. That's when she heard a noise.

 

That's when she saw the angel, sleeping in a bed of fur and bleeding on the ground.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

The transition to his room had been…difficult.

 

Lady Mariko was beautiful, and powerful. But she had never been stable minded. She was prone to suspicion and paranoia, and as such, no servant would approach her out of fear they would be killed. She had killed several, already. Only Chiyoko was trusted as a servant and companion. More than likely, it was because she was human, and seen as too weak to pose any kind of threat. As for Sesshomaru, he tolerated his mother's eccentricities admirably, but at the same time privately mourned as she grew worse and worse. Eventually, Mariko-sama's husband had to avoid all contact with her, at all costs, else risk her screaming and raving about how he was plotting to kill her as she slept. It was Mariko who was responsible for her death in the end; she ran a sword through her heart while poor Chiyoko watched helplessly. Her screams had brought father and son to the side of the dead wife and mother.

 

A month later, the young lord was packing his things together in order to have them moved to his mother's old room. Now that he was older, he deserved a grander room, more befitting to the heir of the Western Lands. Chiyoko was going to move into the Seshomaru's old room, in the wing occupied by the Inu no Taishio. She would be better protected there, it was believed, and she was too important to be careless with.

 

She glared at him sharply when he arrived at what he thought to be his new room. Chiyoko scowled, then demanded, “Why? Why should I have to leave my mistress' chambers? Why should I leave the place where I served so well and faithfully?” She stretched out her arms and legs to form a blockade in the doorway.

 

Taken aback by the question, Sesshomaru stared blankly. He'd never actually considered Chiyoko would put up resistance to the move. She should be doing as she was told, reason or not. Yes, that was it. She just needed to be reminded of her place.

 

“This Sesshomaru,” he sniffed, “does not have to explain---”

 

“—then this Chiyoko,” she sneered back, “does not have to move.”

 

Sesshomaru had only recently trained himself through deep meditation how to school his face in a constantly bored look. At any second, he wanted to appear as if he was going to roll back his eyes and stare blankly into a far corner, because it held more interest than whoever he was talking to at the moment. It usually got people to say what was important quicker, and left them irritated at themselves for being intimidated after the exchange was through. Right now, though, he struggled to keep his features contained under his passé mask.

 

He raised an eyebrow. Chiyoko glared harder. He huffed a sigh through his nose. Chiyoko rolled her eyes and smirked.

 

“Move!” he finally barked, surprising himself at the immaturity of his response. But it had been said, so he had to stand by it. His voice was angry, so his face had to look angry in order to show he meant business. Mouth twisted, eyes narrowed, fists clenched, he stood down against the girl he was rapidly becoming attracted to as her rage increased.

 

“Make me!” she challenged.

 

For the briefest of moments, Sesshomaru thought he had heard wrong, and could have sworn Chiyoko cried, “Mate me!” But alas, his adolescent mind was playing tricks on him. Still, he felt the slightest condolence knowing that he would be able to touch her, in accordance to the rules of the childish fight they were presently locked in.

 

The young demon smirked. “Alright,” he growled, then snapped both hands out to grab the girl by her wrists. The plan was to remove her hands from the doorway, then push her into the room where she would land on her rump and he would laugh at her. But Chiyoko was never one to go along with Sesshomaru's wishes. Chiyoko was one to do whatever she damn well liked.

 

With a strength Sesshomaru never thought any human could possess, Chiyoko gripped onto the doorframe with white knuckles and gritted teeth, not budging one hair. Now Sesshomaru was at a dilemma. He could just push harder, but that ran the risk of breaking her wrists. He could also spray a fine mist of his poison, but he had yet to use this demonic weapon on a human and as such did not know what effect it would have. He could kick her in the shins, but something told him that she would just grit her teeth and snarl at him in defiance. That one didn't sound too bad.

 

Then Sesshomaru remembered his physics. It was so simple. All he had to do was unbalance her center of gravity, and she would fall easily under his hand. Quickly scanning her posture, he figured grabbing her hips would be his best shot. Hips were something Sesshomaru had only dreamed of touching, on any female, at this point in his life. It would be awkward, and embarrassing, but it was necessary. Before he could muster a chance to doubt, he rapidly grabbed Chiyoko's weight and pulled forward to unhinge her from the doorframe.

 

The girl squealed and let go much quicker than Sesshomaru had anticipated, sending her vaulting against his chest. Her body was quite warm against his silk covered chest; his stomach flopped around with nervous excitement. He felt his hands trembling, until he looked and saw them to be locked in place like iron manacles. The scent of Chiyoko's fear flooded his senses for the first time, and in alarm he looked down to see what might have spooked her so. Her whole body was trembling, but rigid in posture, as if she had willed herself into becoming a beam of lumber. When he looked to her, she looked up at him and her eyes flashed with pure loathing.

 

What…, Sesshomaru thought dimly.

 

“LET ME GO!” Chiyoko shrieked. For added emphasis, she started pounding her fists against her captor's chest. Shocked beyond all measure, Sesshomaru quickly released the girl and stepped back. She stumbled, found her footing, then pinned the young demon with a look that could melt ice, and boil the water left behind.

 

“Don't you ever,” she hissed, venom dripping from her voice, “EVER! touch me like that again! You presumptuous…spoiled…youkai brat!” Chiyoko threw up her hands, then stomped past Sesshomaru, snapping her braid in his face, before she was out the door. “Have the room,” she muttered darkly, “I don't care anymore.” And with that she was gone from his sight. He stood there, numb and bewildered at what had just transpired. Looking around, he noticed that nothing had been packed up. Part of him, the part that cared for Chiyoko's well-being, wanted to wait until the girl had calmed down enough so she could return to the room and pack what she wanted to be placed in her new room. But the part that won, the part that held his demon instinct, declared himself the winner of yet another battle, and to the victor goes the spoils. He would decide what the servant girl could and could not have.

 

And because she had angered him so, it wasn't going to be much.

 

He would not see her again until much later in the day. Most of the house servants were moving Sesshomaru's belongings into the new room, and moving what little Sesshomaru was willing to grant Chiyoko into her new room. She was huddled in the corner, hugging her knees which were drawn up and covering all but her eyes. At first, he paid her no mind. He even managed to forget she was there.

 

A servant strolled in, carrying a blue and white vase made from very fine china. Such an elegant bauble was common in the house, but this particular one belonged to Chiyoko personally. It had been a gift from the Lady Mariko on Chiyoko's 16th birthday. That had been the only birthday that she had been presented openly with a gift, in front of the whole household. It was meant to be the first piece of her dowry, for when she found a husband and would be permitted to leave the House of the West. Four months before Chiyoko's 17th birthday, Mariko-sama took her own life. There would be no more presents, no more dowry, and no more promise of a life of her own. She would remain in the service of the Inu no Taishio and his pampered son until she died.

 

The servant stumbled forward, and gripped the vase tightly, causing the china to squeal in protest. Chiyoko gasped.

 

Sesshomaru heard the noise, and looked for the girl to see what had upset her. Her eyes were large, and once again the scent of her fear was rising. She was staring intently at something, not blinking, as if she was trying to hold it with the strength of her stare. The young demon turned and easily found the source of Chiyoko's distress. Brusquely, he grabbed the servant toting the vase and pulled it from his arms, before pushing the startled man towards the door.

 

Chiyoko muffled a sob in her throat.

 

Sesshomaru grinned openly. With a manner of nonchalance, he threw the vase into the air, as if it were a creek stone.

 

Chiyoko cried out softly and rushed forward onto her hands and knees, as if she could catch the vase herself from a distance.

 

Sesshomaru caught the vase delicately, careful not to cause it any damage. Then he threw it up into the air and caught it once more. Smugly, he watched Chiyoko's distress over her favored possession. He continued his precarious game of catch, keeping his eyes on the vase and listening to the small whimpers from the corner of the room with a sadistic pleasure. Until he caught the change in the girl's scent, from a salty, sour, and cold odor, to a sulfur-like stench. He twisted his neck to see.

 

Chiyoko was livid. Her face was flushed, her fists were clenched even as she stood on all fours, and she was grinding her teeth quite noisily. No longer was she afraid for the welfare of her vase. She was infuriated at the person who was responsible for the jeopardy of the vase's future. Her eyes were dark and alluring, like two beads of pure obsidian; they were daring the admirer to reach past the sharpened teeth in order to touch the cool, smooth stones, and outright lying that it would be worth the danger.

 

She looked more beautiful than any demoness could ever hope to be.

 

Sesshomaru felt his stomach flop again, and he suddenly wanted to see what Chiyoko would be like in a full-on rage. Without thinking, he smashed the vase on the floor.

 

The girl cried out as if she herself had been the one laying in pieces on the rug. Kicking her body back into the corner, she resumed her earlier position, but buried her entire face in her arms instead. A storm of angry tears flooded her eyes, and she sobbed loudly. She was hurt, and she was furious. She looked, smelled, sounded, and felt like she would burst into flames and destroy the entire house at any given second.

 

Sesshomaru was once again divided. He wasn't sure exactly what had possessed him to break the vase; it had never been his intention to do such a thing to begin with. But now that it had been done, he was left to ponder his next course of action. Part of him wanted to apologize, and Sesshomaru never, ever apologized. To apologize meant that your actions were ill planned, and the result was not your intent. He had never meant to hurt the girl; he merely wished to tease her. The other part of him, of course, wanted to gloat in pleasure at having devastated his opponent. But this time, he had trouble seeing Chiyoko as an opponent. She was more of a victim, and he was the persecutor. Perhaps, he should apologize. Even humans didn't deserve to be treated like this.

 

“Chiyoko,” he called softly.

 

Her head shot up and before he could say another word, his body froze. Chiyoko hated him. He could see the hate proudly twisting her face as she glared at him. It was as if she wished her gaze could stab Sesshomaru in the chest.

 

“I will never, ever, ever forgive you for this,” she barely whispered, knowing full well that Sesshomaru would hear her clearly.

 

Sesshomaru felt the words hit him coldly in the chest, and they hurt. Nothing ever hurt. He wanted to beat her, make her cry out for forgiveness for what she had done to him. But there was still a niggling sense of self control that kept him from rushing over to the girl and carrying out his warped sense of justice. There was no going back now. The damage had been done, and nothing he could do, he thought, could right the situation.

 

Deliberately, he found the largest shard of the vase still intact, and crushed it under his boot. Then he pivoted on his heel and left the room, never to return. That evening, he tracked and killed a rouge samurai. It was the first human he had ever killed, and he knew it would not be the last. The weakness of the man as he struggled for his life against Sesshomaru's claws made the demon feel unstoppable.

 

“Pathetic,” he hissed in the dying man's face, as he ripped the heart out from the chest cavity. Anything this weak did not deserve to be thought of as anything but prey.

 

He would not speak, let alone make eye-contact with Chiyoko until she died.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

The transition to his room had been…difficult.

 

The first major opponent to the move had been none other than Jakken. For about a week, he had thrown good sense to the wind and carried on in front of both Rin and Sesshomaru about how wrong what they were getting into was. The biggest taboo of demon society was to take a human as a proper life mate. Concubines, mistresses, affairs, and one night stands were acceptable. But for a human to be declared the alpha female over the male, it was almost considered a sign of insanity. There would be no acceptance, no tolerance, and no exceptions. The faithful retainer argued loudly for this point, and earned himself a series of sound beatings.

 

But it was Jakken's other argument that almost got him killed. When Sesshomaru refused to renounce his courtship of Rin, the toady imp took up defense in the name of the girl he had grown attached to over the decade they'd traveled together. He stoutly cried that he would not stand by to watch Rin lose her future.

 

“This Jakken,” he spat, “will not watch Rin suffer the deaths of her children by you!”

 

Rin had to throw herself on Jakken's body to prevent Sesshomaru's claws from inflicting further damage. The demon lord swiftly left the house, while Rin spent sleepless nights nursing her friend back into health. Sesshomaru was gone for a month. When he returned, Jakken threw himself at his master's feet with the most sincere apology he'd ever mustered in his life. Sesshomaru did not speak to either of his companions for another two days, when Rin realized that Jakken's words had not only given her lover anger to strike out, but also doubt to pull back. He was withdrawing his courtship for what he felt would be her own good, it seemed. And Rin wondered, was it truly for her own good?

 

True, she did want children. And it scared her that Sesshomaru might actually kill any child they produced. She knew well how bitter her lord was to his hanyou brother. Why would he change his standards for her?

 

But, he had changed his standards for her. She was human. The Lord of the West, well known for his vehemence towards human-kind, was engaging himself to a simple peasant girl. Could he change then for their children? Would he even consider having children at all? Would she have any say in this matter? Did it matter at all?

 

After Sesshomaru's return, Rin slept alone in her room. Although Sesshomaru had not taken to sleeping beside the girl every night, he had visited her bed frequently and warmly. Now, his tone was clipped bidding her good night, and his steps were solid carrying him to his own bedroom and slamming shut the door. This continued for a week. Rin was beginning to lose all hope of him loving her. The only thing that anchored her was the knowledge that she loved him, fiercely. No matter what happened, no matter the scenarios Rin could think of, she loved him. There was no cure. She woke up, and knew she would die from wanting him. Then Sesshomaru coolly informed Rin that she would join him in his room that night.

 

He will either kill me, Rin thought, or make me his wife. He either needs me, or he doesn't. She wasn't sure about either, but she could not shake it from her mind. It also broke her heart that she was uncertain of which one it would be.

 

Her whole body was shaking the night she watched the moon rise to its peak. She had planned her course of action while waiting for the house to settle into its midnight slumber. When she entered the hall, she felt herself leave her body, and she watched overhead as her feet carried her slowly to his door. The knock brought her back to her senses, and she listened hard for a reply. It was as if the energy from every region of her body surged up to her ears, as she strained to hear any sign that he acknowledged her. She could discern a dying fire popping in the hearth. Papers rustled. The wind blew. No voice or breath greeted her plea for admittance. Gulping down a mouthful of air, Rin opened the door and stepped inside.

 

He was lounging on his mattress on the floor, reading. Rin knew how to read a little; he had taught her himself when she was young. Her eyes flicked uncertainly about, waiting for him to rush her, or yell at her, or both. He looked only a bit angry, but he made no motion to speak or stand. Rin walked forward.

 

“Stop,” he barked, when she was about arms length from him.

 

The blood in her legs turned to stone. Gods, how had she ever talked herself into doing this? He was already angry enough with her; perhaps, if she left now…

 

“I trust your day went well?” he nonchalantly inquired, never taking his eyes off the paper.

 

Rin swallowed. “Well indeed, my lord,” she stammered. “And yours?”

 

He nodded. “Well enough,” he sighed, “but I am tired now.” At that declaration he rose to his feet and quickly rolled closed the scroll he was reading. Sesshomaru stepped to the side, cueing Rin to take her place on the bed.

 

Rin felt her palms start to sweat and her spine begin to vibrate. This was it. So he wasn't going to kill her. That meant that he… This needed to be said and done. She needed to show him that she trusted him. She needed to tell him that Jakken's words meant nothing. She needed him to see how much she needed him.

 

Her body was already chilled with fear, but as she pulled the robe from her frame, she suddenly felt scorching hot. The fabric tumbled to her feet, and the armor of her modesty had been shed. In the nights they had spent together, he had scarce touched anything with his hand that did not have its own ability to touch him back. But there had been brief moments when some fingers would stray to her breast or her hips, teasing her with his knowledge of what lie beneath her clothes, but never teaching her. Now she stood before him with every part bared for inspection. It took a great deal of courage on Rin's part to not curl up on the floor and cry in shame. He had to see that she trusted him.

 

Sesshomaru's eyes were wide and his jaws clenched tightly. His body jerked up and he took several wide steps back and away from the girl.

 

“What are you doing?” he snarled.

 

“I…,” Rin faltered. She hadn't expected this. Isn't this why she was here? Wasn't he supposed to take her into his bed and take the lead from there? He was supposed to see how frightened she was, and calm her fears with his lips. They were supposed to be together, but in that moment Rin felt the distance between them rip further apart.

 

“I…,” she tried again, swallowing, “I thought this was what I'm supposed to do…”

 

He snorted, then glared hard into her. “What!?” he bellowed.

 

“Please!” Rin screamed. “Isn't this what you want?!” Her face went white when the tone of her voice registered in her mind, and she frantically looked down and away. She wanted to cry. This was supposed to make things better for them, but it was turning into a disaster.

 

Sesshomaru snapped his spine straight. “Look at me!” he commanded. Rin obeyed. She could see the anger clearly on his face now, and part of her became afraid. Here she was, standing naked and defenseless in front of the most powerful demon in the West, and she had just made him furious. Her hands shook at her sides, wanting to cover herself up from his eyes, but her heart was too stubborn to let him see her shame.

 

He stood in stone silence for a lifetime of eight breaths. Finally, he spoke, low and cold. “Why do you do this?” he asked. His knuckles cracked as he clenched and unclenched his fist.

 

Rin blinked back tears. “You want this,” she whimpered, trying to muster the strength to look away.

 

“You presume to know precisely what this Sesshomaru wants?” he roared.

 

This wasn't happening! This can't be happening! He was supposed to tell her how beautiful she was. He was supposed to…take her, in his bed. To love her as a man loves a woman in that way. He was supposed to claim her body as his. As much as it had frightened and upset Rin when she made her plans, it only hurt her more when he didn't act in the sly, brutish manner she had planned for him. She was giving him permission to take what he wanted, and it was obvious that he didn't want her. So he was going to kill her then; kill her, and end his shame. Her chest felt like a black and empty tomb, waiting for the remains of her broken heart to settle within. The tears flowed freely now, and she smiled at him as bravely as she could.

 

“Oh,” was all she could say.

 

His eyes grew larger and he bit his lower lip. Storming up to her, he grabbed her chin with bruising fingers and forced her face up to look at him, towering over her as always. “You will stop crying,” he ordered bluntly.

 

“I cannot,” Rin whispered, barely loud enough for herself to hear.

 

Sesshomaru shook his head. “You will stop crying and you will listen.”

 

Rin sniffled. “Hai,” she acquiesced. Her eyelids fluttered madly open and closed to halt the flow of her tears.

 

His features softened instantly. His eyes grew heavy and sleepy looking, and his lips slackened their hold on his teeth. “Yes, Rin,” he murmured, “I have wanted this, for some time.”

 

Rin hiccupped. “Then why-- ,” she tried, but was cut off.

 

“You will be silent and let me finish,” Sesshomaru hissed. The girl nodded as best as she could with her head held firmly by his hand. He continued.

 

He blinked his eyes, and the gold in his irises became bright. Gently, he loosened his grip on her chin, and moved to caress the side of her face with his palm. “This is not what I wanted from you when I decided to take you as a wife,” he whispered. “This is not what I want you for.”

 

Rin's lower lip trembled and her tears started again. It felt as if he had taken each piece of her heart and eased it back into place, one by one. This was the Sesshomaru that she knew, and not the one she had imagined. This was the noble man who never lied, and never tolerated lies. This was who she had fallen in love with. This was what she had dreamed for in a husband: eyes to see her for who she was, even though she was only human.

 

“You're crying again,” Sesshomaru gritted, trying not to sound frustrated.

 

Rin laughed. “I am truly sorry,” she choked. “I am…emotional right now.”

 

“Hmmmm,” was his reply.

 

She reached her hands up to grasp his arm, and nuzzled her cheek further against his palm. “Oh, Sesshomaru,” she whispered, and smiled. This was what she had truly wanted. Children didn't matter right now. It wasn't the issue right now; here, she had just won the first and the hardest battle. He still wanted her. He was willing to give her time. They would figure out the rest later.

 

They stood in silence for a time, merely reassuring one another with their breathing. Finally, he asked, “Will you now come to bed?”

 

Rin nodded. “Yes,” she sighed. She stood back from his body and waited for him to motion for her to crawl under the covers. But he stood just as still as she, as if he too was waiting for something. He cleared his throat.

 

“Put on your clothes,” he gruffly told her.

 

Rin jolted in surprise, suddenly remembering that she was in fact naked. With great embarrassment, she covered herself with one arm as best she could, while she stooped and hooked the fallen robe within her other hand. Quickly and in a slightly clumsy manner, she dressed herself once more, tightening the belt about her waist for good measure. Sesshomaru nodded, then bent to lift the covers for her. She knelt to the floor and folded into the bed. He joined her once she was settled, his hand greedily seeking out as much of her body as it could hold, before he drew her tight against his chest.

 

“Sleep,” he growled softly. “You have a long day ahead.”

 

Rin nodded, and smiled before settling her mind into her rest. She wore the smile for the remainder of the night.

 

In the morning, Sesshomaru began instructing Rin of the duties beholding to the lady of the house.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

The second opponent to the move was Rin herself.

 

After that night, Sesshomaru no longer came to her asking entrance of her room. He would come to fetch her to his own chamber, which was unquestionably his territory. If she declined, she would lose him, but if she accepted…then she would lose herself.

 

During the day, Rin busied herself with her new responsibilities. The daily chores were now her official mission, even though she had been doing them unofficially since she had first arrived at the shiro. While she had been sewing since she was 5, and made her own clothes since she was 9, they had always been simple designs with single layers. Now, her colors were to be white and red, with lavender obi, to match the colors of her new husband's family. The great Inu no Taishio before Sesshomaru had worn white, lavender, and black. When he had died, Sesshomaru replaced the black with red to his own liking, claiming his authority over the family title. Solid colors presented an obstacle to Rin, who was experienced at stitching against patterned backgrounds. She felt as if she was learning to sew all over again some days. But she worked diligently on her new wardrobe, and had completed two house robes, a new sleeping robe, and a slightly more formal kimono by the end of two months. She was working on a grandiose kimono, with many outer layers and long, trailing sleeves, but it would be a long time till completion. This was to be the outfit she would wear when entertaining the various other demon nobles that resided throughout Japan. If she could not be a demoness, she could at least look the part of the noble woman her title afforded her.

 

She was given dominion over the sparse staff of servants he kept: a cook, a maid, and a gardener. All three were demons who had served Sesshomaru's family since his father's father was a pup. Before the death of the Inu no Taisho, the house had been filled with servants. Sesshomaru only had the three, mainly because the rest had either been killed or run away in the chaos that followed his great father's death. Rin had met them after Naraku's demise, and they took her presence in stride. None of the three expressed any shock when she was newly introduced to them as Lady.

 

The cook was a fire demon, and a very distant relative of the sword smith Totosai. He was also just as, if not more, senile as his relative. Consequently, Rin was frequently addressed as Izayoi, the name of Inuyasha's mother and the last human to inhabit the house. Thankfully Sesshomaru never was around to hear it.

 

The maid was the only other female in the house besides Rin; she was a kappa (water demon), and resided in the lake behind the house. This was perfectly fine in the scheme of things; a bachelor, a little girl, and a toad living infrequently in a house did not create much of a mess to clean. Rin would bring the wash and dishes outside, and by evening they would be stacked and folded by the door.

 

The gardener was an old fox demon who had frequently charmed Rin when she was a girl by materializing flowers in her hair. He was not especially social, but he was fond of leaving pretty blossoms and trinkets around the garden for Rin to find. It made Rin nervous initially that she was being declared mistress over people she formerly labored with. But as time wore on, she did not sense any resentment from them, and she still did her best to work with them instead of over them.

 

Jakken and Sesshomaru worked together to provide Rin with a higher level of education. She was taught to read both ancient and contemporary script, and made to practice writing for several hours at a time. It had been determined at a young age that Rin was not blessed with a talent for any musical instrument; however, she could sing quite well, and was provided with a new repertoire of songs to learn. Though Jakken would never admit to it openly, he always enjoyed sitting by Rin as she sang. The human singing voice was not nearly as grand as a demon's, but Rin had a clear, steady tone that floated in the air a great distance before it thinned and vanished; Sesshomaru regarded it to himself as a bell ringing a crystal tone, beckoning people to prayer. What a surprise they would receive if they followed the call with pious intent, only to find a beautiful young woman beckoning to them with a siren's song. She had been performing a flawless tea ceremony since she was 13, and it was something she took great pride in doing every day. All in all, Rin took to the lifestyle of a lady quite well.

 

But being a lady and being a wife were two different things. She was gradually moving into uncharted territory with each passing night, and she felt powerless to stop its progress.

 

Her possessions were moved to Sesshomaru's room after a week had passed since she had first slept in his bed. Her room was gone; it was their room now. Rin had delayed going to bed as long as she could, but Sesshomaru was eventually able to firmly guide her into the room. She had wept quietly that first night, and he tried his best to not act resentful of it. Still, he was not content to lay quietly beside her for long. He had started touching more and more of her, and while she was excited by it, she was also terrified. There was no going back to sleeping alone. There was no going back to being just plain Rin. He had made it very clear by now that he intended to have her for his wife, and that meant the inevitable development of a carnal knowledge between them. Rin knew that she wasn't ready, but did her best to hurry herself to a point where she would be. Sesshomaru seemed content to take his time, however, and over the next month he devoted their love play to gradually changing Rin's apprehension to acceptance.

 

One night he had wormed his hand under her robe and over a bare breast; she had held her breath and gripped the sheets until he shook her gently, reminding her that she was still awake and alive. His palm was like a branding iron to her skin, but only after he removed it did the ache set in. Another night, she had relaxed her body and let her legs spread slightly apart. He had immediately filled the gap with one of his own legs, pinning her slightly underneath him. She caught her cry of surprise in her throat, but was more surprised to find her legs moving of their own accord to better accommodate her lover. By the time he finished kissing her, one of her knees was hooked on the back of his upper thigh. He was big, and he was powerful, and yet he was painstakingly gentle with her. And he always, always kissed her. Kissing was familiar, and as long as she had that, she had a semblance of control and security.

 

On one of her more timid nights, he'd managed to coax her from her clothing, and she lay naked and trembling under the covers while he kissed her. Before she knew what was happening, she was pulled to him with her back against his chest and his fingers stroking between her legs. She…was not quite sure of what had happened in the end, and she remained shaking and awake for an hour. It had felt like she was drowning, and it hurt because she couldn't breathe or see. But it had also felt good, and she struggled to make sense of it for several nights after.

 

On one of her braver nights, it was her unclothing him. He had struggled against her at first, pushing her hands away as gently as he could. But she had been faster than he had anticipated, and found his shirt being pulled from him before he knew her hands were on his chest. Sesshomaru growled his disapproval initially, but grew quiet as her hands slid up and down his back and ribs. Rin wasn't satisfied though. Her fingers began to crawl to his waist, and dip teasingly beneath the waistband of his pants. His growling started again, but he was panting as well. Lying on his back, his face was hidden from her as he stretched his neck and tilted his head backwards into the pillow. More curious than afraid, Rin let one of her hands slide completely beneath the fabric to the wrist. She gasped in response to feeling how hot it was under his clothes, and looked up to see Sesshomaru arching his back while groaning softly.

 

She didn't have time to react. He pushed her onto her back and held her down by pressing into her collarbone. His eyes were impossibly large, and while it was dark in the room, there was enough light to show her they had been engorged with his demon blood. Rin's hands were lying palm up by her head in a gesture of surrender, while she quivered in fear under his strength.

 

“Please!” he sobbed. He was begging her. “Don't!”

 

Rin shook her head. “I won't,” she squeaked in reply.

 

Sesshomaru nodded, then hung his head while he caught his breath. His hand lifted from her chest and moved to the mattress. When it appeared he had calmed, he gradually lowered himself onto her body, then rolled off to the side. She clung to him instantly, concerned.

 

“Did I hurt you?” she pleaded. “Did I do something I shouldn't have?”

 

Sesshomaru smiled gently and lifted his claws so they could comb her hair from her face. “You are not ready for that,” he sighed.

 

Rin blinked. “Ready for what?” Of course she was ready! She knew what she was doing! She was merely touching him. They had been doing it for several months. True, she had never touched him there before, but how different could it be? He must not like it then, or else she really had hurt him and he wasn't saying. “My lord?” she pleaded.

 

He maneuvered both of their bodies so he could easily draw her close for a kiss. “You are not ready,” he repeated. That was as much of an answer he was willing to give, it appeared, because he moved his hand down to rub her back.

 

Rin stubbornly refused to let go. “I don't understand,” she insisted. “I am telling you I am ready and you tell me I am wrong. Why am I wrong?”

 

“Hmmm,” he sighed, then deftly opened and shucked her robe off. Before she could protest, Sesshomaru pulled Rin's back to his chest and curled his legs underneath hers. His hand once again belted across her body, while his fingers flicked around the warmth between her legs.

 

“Are you sure that you are ready now, my Rin?” he purred into her ear. “Are you ready to become this Sesshomaru's wife?”

 

Rin groaned. It was hard to think straight when he touched her like this. Her open eyes lost focus of the world, so she closed them and found there were fireworks exploding beneath her eyelids. Her breath was choppy, and she squirmed against his touch, trying to stop it and encourage it at the same time. But there was something different happening than the last time. It felt like he had placed a stone between them, and was pressing it into her tailbone as he slowly rocked his hips. It hurt like it was going to bruise, and her hands began pushing him apart from her to alleviate some of the discomfort. He merely tightened his grip and pushed harder into her, preventing even air from coming between their bodies. His fingers moved with greater intensity, and her hands fell limp at her sides as she slipped further into whatever was drowning her. He was panting into her neck, and squeezing her tighter and tighter against his waist. Rin began to lose herself to her imminent death.

 

When she came up gasping for breath, she found Sesshomaru to be heaving as well. The hardness against her backside had vanished, and she quickly forgot it had been there to begin with. He was whispering foreign words to her, telling her something that eluded her muzzy consciousness. When they had at last fully calmed, he gently turned her body so that she could face him.

 

“Do you understand?” he murmured.

 

Rin narrowed her eyes. He had acted so differently just now. He was now covered with sweat and gasping just as hard as she was. When her back had been turned, it seemed he wanted to force himself through her skin and into…

 

Oh.

 

Rin blushed and nodded slowly as she looked away. He had wanted to…but he didn't, he'd stopped himself and stopped her. The shock of it all began to sink in. If he hadn't stopped her, would he have eventually taken her then? She was not ready for that yet, but she was getting close. To have blindly come to the edge was horrifying, but to have been led back by his hand and cradled in his self-control made Rin feel gradually calmer about the whole incident. He did know how she felt, and he was respecting it. From how hard he had pressed against her, and how frantically he'd touched her, she knew that he had dearly wanted to take her. But he didn't. He didn't, and he wouldn't until she told him he could. Once again, the great demon lord was waiting upon the will of a human girl.

 

Rin quietly began to cry.

 

“Don't cry,” he half asked, half commanded.

 

Rin couldn't help it. She felt herself surrender into full sobs. “I'm sorry!” she wailed. “It's all too much! It's just…so much, I'm so scared!”

 

Sesshomaru rumbled an annoyed growl in his throat, but he embraced Rin tenderly and said nothing while he waited for her to calm down.

 

When she finally stopped crying, Rin wiped her eyes with her fingers and looked up at her lover's face. “I'm sorry,” she croaked, her throat still scratchy from being wracked with her wailing. Then she smiled warmly, and added, “Thank you.”

 

Sesshomaru blinked. For a time, he looked confused, as if he didn't know what it was he was supposed to say or do in this situation. He had hardly ever been thanked by anyone, outside of Jakken who frequently said thank you for being allowed to exist another day. Truthfully, he had been waiting for her to hate him for what he had just done. Much to his relief, Rin nodded, and seemed to accept his silence as her answer. He exhaled through his nose and tangled his claws in the hair at the base of her neck.

 

“Sleep,” he said. She nodded into his chest.

 

“Love you,” she mumbled, quickly dozing off.

 

Sesshomaru squeezed her with his arm, then pressed a warm kiss to the top of her head. He sighed heavily, slightly shaken from the tenderness the girl in his arms had just shown. “Ah,” he replied, mouth going dry.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

She became his wife three nights later.

 

Rin revealed her purpose in their first kiss, and Sesshomaru gently followed her lead. He touched her where she touched him, kissed where she kissed, and savored as she did. Finally, a gentle nod and a soulful gaze had her beneath him, gritting out the difficulty of the first thrust.

 

She was no fool, and knew of the pain and blood she would have. But she also knew that he would not let her suffer long, and not selfishly bogart the pleasure of their first coupling, or any that should follow from that point on. So she did not despair from the ache she felt, and merely waited patiently alongside him until she was comfortable enough to make her own way. She tried to keep the tears from her eyes though, not from her hurt, but her joy. From past experience she knew her husband did not handle her crying for any reason well. But this time, he seemed to understand, and kissed each one that fell from her cheeks.

 

If I were to die now, she thought, I would have no regrets.

 

Surfacing from the torrent waters he pulled her under with his touch, Rin opened her eyes to see her lover's head bowed over her with eyes closed. He looked so sad then, and her heart clenched and stopped to see it.

 

“My love,” she breathed, “what…?”

 

Sesshomaru opened his eyes at looked to his wife. Red. His eyes were red, like they had been several nights before, and that wasn't all. Rin noticed the stripes on his face, that were usually so smooth, were now jagged, and the same deep red color as his eyes. His teeth were like needles, locked together uniformly as his jaws clenched, and his eerily illuminated white hair was unruly. At first, he was not looking at her, but through her it seemed. Rin knew this face, though she had seen it rarely. It was his true self, the demon that he was and the strength that he masked. She was a human, being looked at through the eyes of a very powerful demon. The realization that she was the wife of a demon hit her in the chest with a crushing force. She was lying in the bed of a demon who could kill her with a thought.

 

Suddenly, Rin found it difficult to breathe. She could literally feel his youki pressing into her, trying to crush her frail body beneath him. It felt cold, and it shocked through her spine like a blade. She whimpered, for that was the most noise she was able to make.

 

Finally, Sesshomaru's eyes met hers. Looking at him like this, there was no mistaking that he was not human, by any stretch of the imagination. Something was burning in the depths of the green slits that replaced his molten gold irises. Something in his gaze was grappling on to her soul. Something in his eyes looked back at her, and smiled wickedly. Oh gods, Rin gasped in her mind, what have I done?

 

But then he blinked his wide eyes, and swallowed deeply. Sesshomaru heaved a heavy breath, as if he had just had the air punched from his lungs. Before Rin could respond, a scorching heat ignited in her womb, then quickly began to spread under her skin. It was agony like none she had ever experienced; her eyes rolled back as she tried to scream, but could not draw a breath out of or into her lungs. Her nerves were exploding with pain before they died, bringing a veil of darkness clawing up her body.

 

Youki, she realized dimly. She was being poisoned from the inside. Her human body was struggling to survive against the invasion of his youki. Tears prickled the corners of her eyes. Was she going to die then, as she had foolishly thought would be so beautiful before? Her vision clouded, and then darkened. She could see Sesshomaru over her, watching with knowing eyes.

 

“Oh!” Rin half-coughed, half-sobbed. Blackness clouded over her vision, and a faint tang of blood stung her throat. It felt as if a thousand frigid needles were raking across the underside of her skin. The pain burst in a rush at her head, and the darkness she saw was replaced by a blinding white light. Then she felt nothing. Her body fell limp with sleep.

 

Sesshomaru heaved a reluctant sigh, before pulling the covers up and around both of their bodies. He had not expected this, though he was quite aware of its possibility. Rin's human body was simply overwhelmed by the presence of his full youki. Thankfully, it wasn't killing her, though it was a pity that she had to suffer because of it. This meant that, with time, she would eventually grow immune to its effects. But until then, she would still fall ill after exposure, and be weakened for quite some time afterwards. Protectively, he pulled his wife against him, then quietly began stroking her hair.

 

“You're safe,” he whispered. And so, Rin slept, because she could do nothing else, and Sesshomaru lay awake and watched her through the night.

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Rin awoke two mornings later.

 

The dreams of that sleep had been strange and scattered, and her mind struggled to comprehend if she was in fact asleep or not. Sometimes, she was so sure she was awake and moved confidently through the landscape, until she woke to find herself in yet another dream. There was no day or night, and then followed countless days without a single night. She would drag through waking moments, and fight against sleep.

 

When her eyes fluttered open for real that morning, Rin convinced herself to believe the reality she found herself in. Overwhelmingly, she was hit with the desire for a bath within the first minute of consciousness. Her hair felt heavy and greasy. Her mouth was dry and tasted sour, but once she was able to swallow again it felt much better. Her eyes were taking an exceptionally long time to fall into focus; Rin was quickly growing frustrated with this. The world simply wanted to remain fuzzy this morning and she was going to have to deal with it.

 

Her ears felt like they had been stuffed with cotton, yet she was still able to hear Jakken-sama's distinctive squawking. As to exactly what he was saying, she wasn't sure, but she knew he was standing next to her, excitedly relaying an undoubtedly important message to her. Pity that she couldn't have used this excuse for ignoring him when she was younger.

 

A wet, cold rag was slopped onto her forehead, and Rin grimaced. Cold was not what she needed. The bath sounded even more appealing now; she was determined to find some way to let Jakken-sama know this. Apparently the grimace on her face was enough to get the toad to remove the cloth, but he did not make any motion to provide something of warmth for her. Rin shivered.

 

Jakken squawked again, and a blur of white stood before Rin's line of vision. Sesshomaru quickly bent down so he was eyelevel with the weakened woman; despite her foggy vision, Rin could tell he was frowning. Without warning and without a sound, he had scooped her into an embrace, and they were outside, sitting in the sunlight. The warm air felt invigorating to Rin, and she stretched lazily in an attempt to expose as much of herself as possible to the light.

 

When she had settled comfortably, Sesshomaru spoke. “Do you know why you are sick?” he boomed slowly.

 

“Youki,” Rin managed to groan. The memory of her fear when she first felt its dark swelling presence within her blood rushed forward. The glint in his blood red eyes haunted her once again, and she swiveled her head to make sure he did not look the same now. His eyes were a light amber, and his face was hard-set, but Rin knew Sesshomaru was just as upset as she was. This calmed her slightly, and she licked her lips. “Your youki,” she repeated, making sure Sesshomaru heard her.

 

“Yes,” the demon replied, “it is this Sesshomaru's youki that poisons your frail body. But,” he added gently, “it will not last. You will be back to yourself in no time.”

 

Rin nodded dumbly. Right now, she was more concerned with getting warm than she was with figuring out why she was cold in the first place. No need in getting worked up when she felt tired and disoriented. Sesshomaru seemed content to just sit in silence and let her bask in the sunlight.

 

After a time, Rin acquired her sense of mind back, and began contemplating what had happened the night before. It felt like she was dying, all over again, except she knew she wasn't going to die. It hurt, but it did not frighten her. Youki, raw and exposed, was a nuisance to larger demons, dangerous to smaller demons, and deadly to humans. How she had survived, and why she was so sure of her survival, Rin did not know. But would she be so confident if it happened again? Would it happen again? Was he disgusted with her weakness? Was he sympathetic to her pain? Was he…pleased?

 

“When…when you…,” Rin stammered. Apparently, though her thoughts were clear, her tongue was still having trouble untangling itself. “Will there be…more?”

 

Sesshomaru frowned. He was unsure of exactly what to tell her. Part of him, the part that was frustrated beyond all measure with Rin's monopoly of her body, wanted to shout that it was his right for there to be “more.” Part of him wanted to ignore what her question was implying, and simply assure her that he would never let any serious harm befall her. Part of him wanted to ignore her altogether, and hope that she would go back to sleep. The part that won, though, was the part that remembered how much it hurt to look into the eyes of a woman uncertain of her future.

 

“It will be difficult,” he gruffly announced, “and you will require a great deal of bed-rest. Over time, you will no longer feel anything from it. Until then, there is nothing more that can be done.”

 

Rin looked to her husband with pleading eyes. Comfort her, he snapped at himself, she needs that. She deserves that.

 

The great demon bowed his head, and planted a kiss on the woman's delicate cheek. “This Sesshomaru will never leave your side,” he promised. “You will not suffer needlessly, or alone.” And he meant it.

 

The woman nodded, and swallowed deeply. True, she was not looking forward to the coming weeks ahead. The thought of not being able to leave the bed for long periods of time also depressed her; she was never one to lie about, and still enjoyed running through the fields when she could. But this is the price she paid for being a demon's human mate. There really was nothing that could be done about it. She was truly glad he was her husband, and she knew he would care for her always, because he always had. There was still so much she had to learn about life, but it felt immensely easy now. After all, he promised to stay by her side, and her lord did not lie. She couldn't help being a human, and he couldn't help being a demon. And neither of them could help being in love with one another.

 

Sesshomaru held onto Rin tightly, suddenly overcome by the silly idea to never let her go.